I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the energetic temptation of arguing with spirituals on that they actually claim that they are assisting and helping all beings with that they try to prove that the physical is originated from infinite time and space of consciousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is a hope for being able to push buddhists through their beliefs and when I say facts then I'm being told that I am negative and against their actual help for all beings and then I accept myself to lose my physical presence because then I am facing that I've put worth and value and trust within these beings by self-definition in my past and by that self-definition actually I try to fight my aspect of them with who I am as myself here and not realizing that my self-honest walk is here to let go all the self-definitions I still accept and allow within myself regarding to these humans and I realizing that I can not push them through, I do not need to - themselves as Life will sort delusions out, at least at the moment of physical death, so I should focus on remaining practical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and judge myself after taking the time to actually try to share common sense with these beings instead of realizing that wherein they are currently, my words actually 'do not get in', therefore after a point it is just a waste of physical time and when I stop I realize that I've missed to walk through some relevant points because in the belief and hope that they can listen to common sense but I've proven for years that can not yet when I define this I face my self-definition and it is irritating me instead of letting go all definitions and don't argue with fools but simply focusing on my walking trough of delusions for instance here the 'connection' and 'relationship' which through I define myself as somebody close to these humans and I need to push them trough.
Life as themselves will sort them out, facing manifested consequences is not always a pleasant way to realize, not even the fastest as it is absolutely not entailing real compassion because not considering all the participants here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and in the moment not realizing that the anger is coming within me because I still accept these beings within and as me defined as my connection/relationship and fearing from losing them because of my self-interest as I've defined why is 'great' to be with them - and also fearing to face that what I've taken refugee within as the physical and mind relationship with them is not real and when I can not accept the nonsense what they try to ask me to respect - I just can't.
No matter how I try to respect this - I have no respect for any delusion.
And even 'she' told me that - "as I respect you as your point of view, by simply that you should respect me and my opinions." - what I've defined I can't, because I am allowing myself to be influenced and by the acceptance of this becoming irritated from myself about what I accept and allow because I am aware of the responsibility within this and it is obvious that I will face the consequences of my acceptance.
And even last night I had no emotional movement what washed me away - I was calm, here, yet keep saying the words and when we talked about some hundreds of thousands of people for instance at the border of Syria starving to death, she told me that they did this to themselves, even the little kids, and that is cause and effect, now they realize the consequences.
And I told that what consequences a poor child realizes by knowing nothing but getting constant abuse?
And she told me that is cause and effect, and she kept saying cause and effect about a hundreds of times like a mantra 'cause and effect, cause and effect' - and when I simply state this is insane, I am being told, I am negative, I am actually blocking their claimed to be 17 times reincarnated master helping the world and she should not be in my presence because then I am blocking this apparent enormous help and then I've became emotional and then that is my responsibility to stop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react emotionally when someone is claiming nonsense and I am here clear, calm, able to use common sense and it is obvious that the being is for a moment totally being possessed by consciousness personalities and there is nothing personal in this towards me - I stop, I breathe, I let everything go, I remain inner silent, I do not want anything but I express myself within Self-honesty.
When and as I realize that I am going into argument with complete nonsense, I stop, I breathe, I realign myself with the practical solutions, common sense, self-forgiveness, writing, investigating and sharing.
Because that is the most prominent point that they do not want to share our discussion, their point of view, they do not want to be shared, to do this publicly - and I simply can - I do not support secrets, I do not want secrets, because that is supporting the secret mind, wherein one can remain demon and outside gaming the 'good'.
Let us investigate actually how really buddhist masters making the world better and asking questions what really relevant because one is sure that the current human system is not giving a fuck about 'being proved that consciousness is superior than the physical' - it is enough that consciousness systems direct the physical and that is causing massive harm indeed, cause and effect, and certainly not LIFE.
Life must be equal otherwise it is not life but system of interests.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger when someone is saying to me 'respect me and I will respect you, respect my beliefs and that's why I will respect your beliefs so we both can remain within our delusions until the end of times(physical death)'.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I can stop respecting belief systems and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from respecting anything what is not me here as Life - instead of simply focusing myself on respecting myself as Self-honesty always here.
When and as I react with temper towards the word respect - I stop, I realign myself with the respect of all life equal as one as myself as Self-honesty within the physical action.
I commit myself to expose all the delusions what buddhists and enlightenment-obsessed foes participate within and meanwhile claiming that they are doing the best solution in fact they accept and allow harm what is responsibility regardless of their awareness of not - and them and me is not separated only in mind but as long as I am participating separation with them through mind - I have no directive power, therefore:
I commit myself to stop all my inner reactions to spiritual delusions and stop all judgments within me and stopping all self-accepted relationships within me with the words: respect, spiritual, enlightenment, buddha and remain here inner silent and express myself as Breath of Life as it is the best for me and for all.
So I stop this here, and I will continue on self-forgiveness on self-definitions regarding to people and not realizing that I can walk trough the self-created bondage with people who actually make no practical solution and I keep my time on telling them it is nonsense in the interest of wanting to change them because believing that I was there and I've walked through, and if they would listen and trust me - then it would be real prevention of manifesting shitty consequences.
But then I let go my interest - and facing the fear that losing everybody around because not accepting any delusion.
(to be continued)
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