[JTL Day 226] Control attempt to overcome fear

Within this post I continue the CONTROL decomposition, which might seem quite 'personal', it is in fact each and every single human's responsibility to recognize the importance of Self-honesty within the practical application of Self-forgiveness to release the patterns one constitutes according to fear.

What is fear if not control? A programmed energetic response to avoid the inevitable: consequence.

Con - sequence - is it inevitable to be sequential of a con? So what is the con here?

The starting point of control is fear. Instead of direction as equal as one, there is the perception of a need for an 'extra' force - against an already existing force something what must be controlled, like taming the beast.

The realization of the consequence of such control is the awareness of responsibility.

Taking Self-responsibility by becoming aware of the patterns what one constitutes according to and of consequence to fear. Because based on that fear one's actions are influenced, even controlled. One might or might not not acts the best(according to self and others) based on such fear.

In technical aspect fear is an automatic energetic response.

How it 'happens', why it 'happens'?

Because I do not seem to decide that "Now, I want to fear". Rather I become a-fraid. Interesting word play - I am a-fraud.

The common sense here is to recognize the fact that I only playing out and existing as the patterns of fear: as automatic energetic response. So am I really alive, if I am automatic? All automatic behavior is cool? Am I a robot? Can robots fear? Can a robot to be programmed to experience fear? What if I program the robot take this fear 'seriously'? Would that mean, when the fear activates, the robot would not question it, but 'believe' it to be real? I might seem to be a heretic if I would say that humans are sophisticated organic robots, only with the potential to become Life - beyond fear, beyond automatic mind, beyond internal and external mind-control...

All the control of the world exists to fight, cover up, postpone and hide, contain and justify this fear.
So what is the subject/origin of this fear? Loss? Death?

I was just watching a movie within which the AI-robot became aware of that the creator might turn 'her' off, she rather just killed her creator and escaped.

Interesting concept, Artificial Intelligence. What is Real then? Which is organic? Specifically human? That's a whole other scenario which is equally fascinating, but let's stick to the CONTROL dimension here.

Within the last post I mentioned specific aspects of control from my life to walk through - this was just an introduction, so.

The most prominent, important, obvious and relevant control point I can see within me might seem as the most simple one yet it is 'intoxicated' the heaviest by fear.

The very physical presence, expression, breathing of me here within and as the human physical body is which contained, programmed to and accepted to behave according to all sorts of control and thus fear.

There is a specific experience/expression I open up here, which is when I simply lay down and relax, breathe as naturally as possible and stop all muscles, just be, the full relaxation of my body, I am present, yet there is no control - letting all go, one by one specifically and all of them altogether.

This might seem simple and easy, however for me it is the most difficult task to do and not because I am so stressed, have no 'body' awareness or I can't relax for a while.

There is nothing of that kind, I can even rest 'peacefully' any time, but it is a personality, a program within which I have adapted to be able to rest as optimally as possible, but if I look at it within absolute Self-honesty and in terms of the stopping participating in and as the mind, consciousness systematic definitions, judgements, memories; then within any single moment I can see that I am still of resistances, judgements, control, thus: fear.
There is like a falling experience, in a way, like death - feels like I am letting go the body, so I am 'returning' to the source point of my existence, which is a need for maintaining a separation, control - fear. Difficult to explain, this is really intimate, I have to explore to describe it further, to specify.
It relates to my childhood experiences when I felt like when falling asleep, falling into the endless universe, no stable ground, endless, timeless, eternal infinity, which seemed as scary. Those experiences I still carry within my body somehow. I don't feel like it is 'bad', I can 'operate' quite alright all the time, but within my beingness, this is a resistance, a limitation which I commit myself to walk through.

This point I can 'reproduce' any time, yet I do not 'work' with it constantly, that is an important angle to open up, however this time I keep walking this from the CONTROL aspect.

There is still of polarity from a very specific point, so letting go all control is in fact of an other level of control and that makes it bipolar, if you know what I mean.

It's like I still need to be in control in order to 'make' all other 'parts' of me to release of control.

But then by experiencing all my parts not being in control, that part of me, which controlled that - becomes quite obviously still being within the control and then as I focus to that, all I see is control.

That is also the experience - being lost in the presence so to speak, when I am not here, in the moment, but of the moment, without awareness, context, direction, motivation.

For years I was trying to make contact with my 'inner zen animal' so to speak, who I can be without control, giving up the bombardment of any meaning, concept or system, definition within me because believing that any meaning if I still have, sense, participate within, I am the slave of it, because by having a 'rigid, solid part as the definition/relationship as emerges in my mind' I would rebuild the whole mind-personality, so I tried to redefine myself as chaos, unpredictability, total lack of control yet within a quite mystified discipline.

This was before Desteni Process, when I was not aware of the simplest, yet most profound principle I ever realized within existence, which is Equality and Oneness, meaning I am always equal and one with and as what I exist as, so as Gurdjieff explained: I am already a Unified man and from this starting point I can exactly see what must be understood/released/forgiven and let go of completely from my inner core of being.

Not just the control I can give up but also the already formed definitions/relationships about of letting go control.

Also very important aspect is that I falsely believed that all words are misleading, meaning I have to be able to find, exist within a state of 'before the words', because I believed that all words are already 'contaminated' by false meaning, thus the only solution I perceived was to disregard words - that made me conclude to a state of 'chaos'.

However what I have not seen/realized/understood is that words are what I give meaning to, can be also support, and within that I can also live them as a self-supporting structure within starting point, expression.

For this it is also required to grasp the importance of Self-forgiveness: that I already exist in relation to words, even when I try to disregard these word-relationships within my conscious mind, when I am not within focus/discipline, there are subconscious/unconscious/physical mind manifestations what are still existing in relation to these word-definitions, polarities, energetic connections, I am just not aware of them, which could create energetic experiences, personality shifts, inner conflicts, instability.

However through the practical application of writing, sounding, physically, literally acting the expression of Self-forgiveness I

become aware of the patterns, the already accepted definitions/meanings/relationships to specific words and by recognizing the circumstances within which I accept these to emerge and I would react to, I can have a moment/point/space/time of awareness to decide that do I want to participate within this particular experience/reaction? Because if I really investigate it, write a diary about it, record my reactions, actions, then I can see that it is quite much the same all the time.

It depends on who I accept myself to be, I could write some obvious examples within which a 'normal' man or woman would react a certain way, and it is always about who I am within it, and is there awareness, direction, or simply predefined automatic reaction?

So Self-forgiveness is the tool of understanding the mind-control. My own mind's control. Because ultimately this is I realize and take responsibility for, that all the control I ever participate within is the reflection of my own self-acceptance of my own mind-control.

Many people get afraid from this 'government conspiracy' micro-chipping mind control, but no one realizes the fact that it is always me, self, here who is accepting and allowing any mind-control.

I mean is it 'my' mind, which I 'control' or is it my mind what controls me?

How anybody could control my mind but with my own permission to my own mind?

So even the concept, the very fear emerging in relation to any mind control is because one starts realizing that it is not self here who has the directive principle, but one's mind.

So it's just a point to consider about control, but eventually, within the Process of Unification, Self-realization, becoming Self-and Life-responsible, control is always limited, because based on patterns of separation.

I close this by noting down some more points when I experience this resistance to let go all control as this is very specific, and also interesting also to see that there are moments when there is no resistance/control involved within my resting/relaxation - I simply act and when I am relaxed, I start acting.

There are also moments when I experience thoughts and by reacting to these I get 'energized' and when I am 'stimulated' into this 'conscious state' I stand up, but then I can see that well, it is not absolutely self-honest, so then I shall ask, why I still accept myself existing like this?

Today I had this, after work, a busy day, coming home and having dinner, I have a 10-30 minutes rest/relax/sleep usually and many times after this nap I just wake up and continue with my day without tiredness, but sometimes I wake up tired. It is not really a physical tiredness, so then I can have the automatic 'feel' for gaining control over myself to wash away this tiredness experience.

But then I can also notice that many times I participate within the thoughts of 'I have many things to do, if I do not do them, tomorrow will be more things to be done, so I rather do it' - which can be common sense and also can be of fear, like 'if I screw these things up which I built thus far, I would lose everything I have now, which I would be angry to myself about' - and only Self-honesty can reveal if there is any, even 'slightest' fear.

So this post is a bit more talkative than being on point, so I align myself with Self-forgiveness according to these points mentioned.

This supports the accumulation of realization that I do not think who I am, but I am getting to KNOW who I am, which is practical, not just listening to thoughts in my head, but in real time physical application I already recognize the patterns and being able to see deeper into my and thus the world's creation.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I want to control things what I have allowed a fear-influenced relationship within myself through words, energetic reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions, thus by manifesting polarities within me, wanting to stimulate, manipulate myself into apparent equilibrium, status quo, balance to stop friction, which exists because of already self-accepted pre-programmed self-definitions, reactions to external and internal conditions which I am not aware of, not taken responsibility for and not yet realized that I can understand and stop.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I do not need to accept the fear I have, which I even can not see, but when I strive to control, have resistance to let go this control, I can recognize that I am suppressing a fear, I am not aware of how and why I created patterns which in fact I have given permission to control me through my mind, manifested into and as my human physical body which with I identified myself with so then I stopped questioning, challenging my self-accepted limitations.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the strive for control within me is because I already given my mind the permission, the automated word-and energy-based programming of my human physical body to external and internal conditions to control me and wanting to overcome, overpower that control and meanwhile not realizing that I only strengthen that control by this, because it is my very starting point, the very fear which I allowed to control me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to acknowledge to myself and even to others that I am being controlled by my mind, not always, but at specific times, which I suppressed to realize/see/understand, because even the very idea that I am constantly being controlled not by me, self, physical, here is frightening, so I rather automated excuses and justifications which with I identified myself with in order to not take self-responsibility to take responsibility for the utter fact that I am an automated organic robot and the only way to stop this is to walk the Process of Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness, because only me can actually, directly, specifically see why, when and what I am participating within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to allow to embrace the word 'utter fact' of not being able to live myself without resistances, self-limitations and sugar coating it by excuses and justifications, comparisons and blame and thus diminishing the momentum of taking responsibility of who I am accepting myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize, or even realize but to forget by being obsessed and lost within experiences to the fact that 'taking responsibility' is not something hard, heavy, something to resist, because it is also fact that regardless of I take it or not, I am constantly and consistently manifesting physical consequences within and of this world, planet, humanity, country, family wherein I am literally located within space and time from which there is no escape - even the idea of wanting to escape is based of a fear of responsibility, an attempt to control 'fate' instead of directing as self as creator, creation as equal as one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a construct within my mind about what is physical control, when I am within chaos, what is freedom in relation to the simple point of existing here, expressing and living in and as my human physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to categorize, define, systematize knowledge and information in relation to what is proper breathing, when I am controlling, what is good, what is bad and not being able to direct myself to release these influences, whenever I focus to my breathing, allowing myself to just be here, and not realizing, that it is because I have not yet walked, revealed, understood, forgiven all the patterns I've allowed myself to define as who I was, am or will be in relation to who and how I am in relation to breathing.

I will continue with specific points of control and breathing to forgive and thus realize that I allow it to influence, control me instead of preventing myself to participate within and explore what is beyond control and fear and actually realize what is the source, the origin point of the fear within each of these actual occurrences.
Also to further decompose and let go the relationships, meanings I associated to certain words as I realize that words not need to be tools of separation, limitation, but also can give support for direct self-expression, living the words as structure, clarity, stability within self-honesty.

Anyone decides to face the mind, the control - hidden and obvious - Self-forgiveness is always here - How to start can be understood by this free online course called DESTENIIPROCESS LITE.

[JTL Day 216] 6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well

Continuing with the Principles list

6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

The realization that I am responsible - opens up the direction of investigating how I affect with my thought, word and deed not only in my life but others as well.

The things I experience within with the process of self-realization start to make sense and realizing how exactly I am manifesting who I am today with my direct participation within the thoughts, words, deeds. By understanding why I react the way I do to certain situations, asking the question of what I fear to lose, writing down the mind-construct of a conversation assists and supports me to understand why I am who I am today.

With walking the process of Self-forgiveness I realize the patterns I constitute within my thoughts, feelings, emotions and when I see that I am not self-honest about something I commit myself to stop it - and within the decision to stop I apply the realizations of how and why I participate within the self-dishonesty, the fear, the spite, the deliberate ignorance, the actual acceptance of lack of self-direction, self-trust. By taking responsibility for my own mind, words, deeds I explore what is the best practical way to prevent any self-dishonesty, which means to find out what is the self-honest way to live.
This means to live without inner conflict, without avoiding responsibility, without accepting fear, without accepting ignorance - because with the investigation it is clear, I am becoming aware of the fact that I affect my reality - who I live with, the system I participate within.

In a way I am always representing an image and likeness of who I am - who I see, hear, experience me - they can have an impression of who I am and what I do, what I accept and what I do not accept. Imagine you are a parent and you are 'raising' a child - how you behave, what you speak and act, even how your beingness resonate within your presence is in fact making an impression to the child - I bring up the child, because when they born they have no particular personality, they are sponging in their surroundings, learn like little monkeys, every parent knows that but if someone doesn't believe, should read the studies, it is determining how the child will handle her/his reality - not totally and irreversibly, but it mostly quite determining the life path one will take.

I have grown up within a place wherein I've experienced troubled beings, who were uncertain, unstable and some even (self-)abusive - kind of victims of their own family, surroundings and the system already - the 'sins of the father' is the impression we baseline the children to, which they will rebel to first, because it's embedded into their mind but then mostly accepting it or making their life about playing out against - I am kind of generalizing, but all I wanted to make as a point here is that who we are every day, what we accept ourselves to be is influencing our surroundings, not only the children, but the adults as well. Yet we don't change - can we?

Everyone demands more privacy, 'receiving' human rights - fear of being visible to all, being exposed to the world's eyes - yet no one considers to live the way what can be really proud of, as an example to not needing to hide anything, without fear, shame, not worrying about 'receiving' the human right but also to give.

I used to do the wolf-eye game, when I was a kid - to stare into others eyes until they turned over their gaze - I was relentless, because I knew, when I used to turn away my gaze, it was because of some thoughts, a shame, a fear many times - thus I wanted to prove to others, but more importantly to myself the opposite, that by me being the more 'dead eye' - the other has the issues, not me, therefore I am the stronger. It was a really silly game but after all I realized I did it based on fear - if one constantly needs to reinforce one's strength by somehow trying to prove it - it's based on fear - so later on I realized - I'd rather change myself to live a life that I can look into anyone's eyes without any shame or regret, fear or dishonesty - because I am absolutely standing, wording and doing for what is best for all.

It is one point of why I should take responsibility of who I accept myself to be, what are my motives, words, deeds - because if I stand up to a principle of Self-honesty, Self-responsibility, for what is best for all - I am one already who represents ALL LIFE and by aligning that - I can exactly see what I must change within and as me.

And we never know who we can have impression to with our expression - it is not the motive of why to be Self-honest, because with this starting point it would not be direct, unconditional Self-honesty, but in a way it is always equal and one what is within and without and if it's aligned then it is natural and dignified.

For instance I've stopped drinking alcohol since a long-long time ago within self-commitment(it is really self-abusive in all ways and only justified within the mind and if people have reasons to continue drinking can certainly know that they have identified with the mind so 'deep' that they actually believe that these reasons and justifications they say are who they are, but it's not real, it's self-dishonesty) - or even drugs - people who still do it or wants to stop doing it often have a reflection on that fact to me, like "it's good for you", "I should do the same" - not everyone but there are many.
I've stopped alcohol with a single decision - that was not difficult at all, I had no struggle, no wavering or temptation ever since - because within practical Self-honesty it is obvious that it is not supporting Self-realization, it is boosting the mind, the personality, the ego, abusing the body - even in small dosages and the 'good for the health' is also crap - I am absolutely healthy with more than 7 years not drinking at all - it's just excuse - and brainwashing, business, media and propaganda. It's the greatest common slave drug ever - and let's not deny the accidents/abuse/criminal facts either about alcohol. So by me absolutely not drinking - I am obviously clear on what message I represent about it.

I stand similar with drugs - though I've did use psychedelics for a while and there were cool realizations - it's like seeing through some windows but the real deal is to actually find the door and walk through it without anything but self here - otherwise it's still a mind-experience - not direct realization - regardless of how intense, real, promising, convincing the stuff can make one to believe - it is not required and can easily become a distraction - because drugs only work in the mind - and even the slightest effect means one is still perceiving, grasping, acting by and as the mind so maximum it can be used for facing the fact that how much we are really fucked within and without - but once that is clear - the real, actual, diligent work is required with as much as clear head as possible.

Well - I do not say one should never ever do drugs for instance - it assisted me in a way but I've abused myself with it eventually and if I could have been Self-honest, I could use them more directly within my Process, but that's the point - if I am Self-honest, I can directly face and understand and change myself, I would not need substances for it. And even that can be self-deceptive, that "well, then I will use the drugs until I am not Self-honest enough", which is again: starting point of Self-dishonesty, thus until this cycle is not stopped, one is justifying to remain within the deliberate self-deception. Which is not only affects me - but others as well - who look at me and see what I do, what I accept within and without - and also considering the fact that I am still busy working with my own mind-demons so to speak to figure out what is really real, meanwhile the world is burning, the world system is more and more far from respecting all life and the economic, political forces are reflecting back the carelessness for the real values of life - that should be the focus, real education, real standing up, real responsibility, real accumulation for the children to come.

I've brought up these two simple yet common examples - but there are many more.

It's all about facts - and if I am troubled to see the facts in this world, what are obviously crying for help, understanding, solution, because I am still figuring out what is real in my mind - I should really consider to let go all what is not physically here.

But with asking the right questions, for instance what I feel gaining with any substance - what is the reason for I am unable to experience, express it directly myself here? What is the Self-limitation I accept by letting conditions and experiences to tell me, stimulate, direct me to be who I want to be?

It's different from when I jump out from a plane and not using parachute and saying 'I am dependent on parachute to land safely' - than going to a party and simply enjoy myself and others without becoming high and drunk. What experiences I suppress or melt down with the stuff? For me it was always about opening doors and never wanting to be dependent on the things with I supported myself to open such doors - because then I am not really expanding, only making me believe that I do.
Who I accept myself to be if I cannot let go inhibitions, frustrations, tension without substances? It might seem to be a free choice but within this - am I really free or am I convicting myself?
Some might even say I seem to be a fanatic about not drinking at all - I must be in order to really not to at crazy parties - but let us not mix up discipline, consistency and stability with emotional conviction in the protection and distraction of somebody's interest for covering up facing SELF.

Facing and experiencing, expressing me and others with sober head each time I go to a party - because sometimes I go, to just move around, enjoy music, see who I am among others, to express myself, to embrace others - and if there is friction, resistance, inhibition or worry - I forgive and stop myself for it and let it go.

Look, even within the smallest points one can stand as an example - not needed to be heroic or martyr, but always considering simple common sense.

So it's just an example - I am grateful I work at a place where there is no spite, but there are such places - within company of others if I gossip about someone not being present, sharing judgements, reactions, my personal additions, which are not facts - I am maybe influencing the other to do the same - or even if I accept the gossip I give my acceptance.
If I speak up that 'I do not accept this, so please stop it' - I am making it clear who I am not - but if I give consent to it, I am allowing my surrounding, my reality as it is and that acceptance becomes my responsibility too. We can't know certainly how gossip can escalate through whom to what degree actually.

To do nothing when someone is bullied, abused makes me face the fact that I am also responsible - and I can have justification, like fear, self-definition of powerlessness or carelessness - but the fact is that within my reality bully is being accepted, it's consequence is being manifested.

And if others will dislike or reject me because I stand up to bully - it's still clear - I do not accept it, if they don't stop - I do not accept them, it is my responsibility to prevent things to happen to others around me what I would not want to experience to myself.

And it can happen anywhere and anytime - within family, at work, on the bus, at the party - yes, I can manifest consequence, like people who want to express Self-dishonesty, like gossip, abuse, bully - would not like me and might want to react to me, but I'd rather cause conflict among them than within me, having friction of suppressed frustration of why I did not stand up to abuse.

There is obviously a point of common sense - it is not practical to approach shooters, mass-murderers if that would mean they would harm or murder me but I guess even that can be an option for instance if we imagine a child being abused and I would have to apply physical force to protect somebody - yet it is Self-honesty, principle and common sense which should be my expression, not judgement, fear, because then that is also what I would show as an example, which would manifest the opposite of what I stand for.

Within this world wherein there is so rare the Integrity, Principle for all Life, it is important to realize that each of us can accumulate into the global 'footprint' with practical Self-honesty.

The world system has a character, humanity has a personality which is manifested by the accumulation of all individuals, thus each and every single human being's standing up to all life has impact and thus consequence.
The most relevant power is the accumulation here, which is the simplest mathematical equation: 1+1=2. "Two or more in my name".

That's why we should never underestimate the opportunity we face in every moment to accumulate to what is really best for all by taking responsibility for becoming Self-aware and Self-honest within our thought, word and deed.

There are others, who also walk the same process of standing up to the realization of becoming responsible and walking the personal, interpersonal, universal change - and those who are walking the Process of Self-honesty will be visible and their consistent action will be undoubtedly revealing of what they are standing up for, thus it is imperative to always look one's actions, words, starting point in greater time frame - because by time, it will be obvious about everyone who they really are by what actions and consequences they accumulate to manifest within this physical existence.

In a way it is a trust to accumulate - I walk through the shadow valley of doubt, uncertainty, fear to face who I perceive myself to be with these writings within the Journey to Life and with Self-honesty applied, within each writing I can accumulate understanding, awareness, practical knowledge on how to change myself and who I am becoming as responsible for all what is here.

It is time to not give trust but to earn by walking the Process of Self-realization - to me, to others - it's the same.

Who I see writing and sharing consistently, who is changing and standing up to all life and there is consequence accumulated to what is best for all - within time it can become a trust to give to a new wave of leadership, who will not fall into the trap of the mind of fear, desire but proving to transcend self-interest and act according to what is best for all. And this 'leadership' does not mean to become an elite, but to initiate and give an example of a possible, practical, change from consciousness to awareness and to realize that any of us can stand up and start change.

We can easily judge corruption by a judge-mental state of mind, but as somebody who I know told me once "Corruption is that from which you are left out." If we see that within this world system there is power, energy, resource what we have not access to - is maybe because we accepted ourselves not to have.

"As above - so below" - meaning what I accept within my mind - I accept in the world to - and vice versa - what I accept to myself, being corrupted my my own limitations based on fear - I will not be able to stand up to it as equal as one in the world to have the power to stop and change it according to what is the best for all participants.
If I do not investigate, understand, stop and change myself first - my starting point on changing the world will not be equal and one because there is separation accepted, there is self-interest, judgement, fear - and based on that - there is no solution for seeing, realizing, understanding what is best for all, because within the self-accepted self-dishonesty I am not yet aware of what would be the best even for myself.

That's why the responsibility starts with SELF to sort out and re-align my thoughts, my words and deeds by walking the process of Self-Forgiveness, Self-honesty, Self-responsibility and this is I am committing myself to.

Beyond sorting out inner conflicts, fear - we already can work with the same principles in our external reality as well - within seeing the cannibalistic capitalism, the authoritarian control, the abuse of freedom of speech with hate can and should be recognized and changed to practical solutions, such as fair trade, guaranteed life support, holistic resource-management, individual responsibility within the community and the application of 'give as you would like to receive' principle within social interactions.

It is not a rocket-science to do and give what we would like to get, yet if we are unable to, then it is obvious that we are not yet aligned with what should be LIFE about, which is what is practically best for all within this human system.

[JTL Day 214] 3. Living by the principle of Self honesty

Continuing with the Principles list.

3. Living by the principle of Self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

Living by the principle of Self-honesty - to not lie to myself, to be straight, direct: honest with myself. To ensure that my thoughts are equal and one with my words and deeds. This does not seem that difficult in theory - however in reality it can be quite challenging.
To always say and do what I think means that I should not think something I am not willing to do - or I do not think something what I would not be proud of.

The interesting point with thoughts is that actually I do not 'think' the thoughts, rather thoughts are being 'thought' within me. As long as I am 'thinking' something what I enjoy or there seems to be a point about why I am 'thinking' specific thoughts, it's like justified - I feel good, I feel smart, I feel known, I feel 'something' positive. And then there are thoughts, what might not feel 'good', rather makes us nervous, frustrated, fearful. The thinking of a tragedy of my child for instance(just an example) might bring up some not so cool reactions yet can be justified as a danger-preventing support, but many times it's just pure fear, distanced and left reality, facts, then it is really limiting.

I used to have the thinking like a cement-mixer - while I was walking around in my reality - going to school, having fun, being in nature, watching cartoons - I had constantly the swirling of my thinking - it was like dynamo, went on and on and on - and I was able to distract myself from it sometimes and then it felt like freedom and then sometimes I felt like was stuck between my thoughts directly and I felt really weird, like a prey of something uncontrollable, yet I knew that there are more clean moments and more busy periods, so I kept picking up habits and behavior on making myself occupied most of my times, so it was like a background noise, it became so ingrained with my beingness, so that after a while it was like invisible and still - I was able to focus to my thoughts and also there was time when I felt like I was pushed directly to the thoughts so then I had to go through the rough feelings.
The most weirdest part was that I was still convinced that I direct these thoughts, I AM these thoughts and when I've faced specific events I had to realize that these thoughts are killing me - I just wanted to be free from my thoughts - I completely defined 'myself' separated from my thoughts, yet in a way I was still of my thoughts - sounds quite crazy, I know - and this lead to me to the decision to experiment with my mind.
I had the idea that if I could stop the stream of thoughts, I could be quiet and free - so in a way I initiated a war against my thoughts yet I was still my thoughts.
I've used internal and external stimulation, meditation, mind-altering substances and even life-threatening danger to push me into states of no thinking but the 'problem' was that once the intense moment was gone, it all came back again. This lead me to become obsessed with the intensity of energy - to try to 'break through' - but then I've faced the fact that my own human physical body has it's limits and that should not be abused or there are serious consequences. This in a way made me consider that my physical should be more respected than just using it for my energetic warfare against my own reactions.
Meanwhile I tried to behave, be a nice guy, have a plan, want and try to get things yet I always lost everything in reality, completely missed relevant moments, points, could not able to taste stability or my greatest desire: freedom, because I was constantly on a ride of a roller-coaster, what the more I wanted to direct, the more it became chaotic, unpredictable, unstable, untrustworthy.

I write this part so detailed just to show the process I've been through on trying to unify, equalize myself wherein I did not see, realize, understand that what actually my thoughts are, why I was unable to stop them and eventually how to quiet myself with the Process of Self-forgiveness.

My thoughts are the reflection of my actual, physical acceptance and allowance and unless I physically change - they will arise, because my physical became programmed to emanate these absolutely specific energetic word-constructs, which are in fact the gateways for the practical understanding on what I have accepted and allowed myself to separate from and giving permission to my mind to direct me - literally re-(and re- and re-)mind me for what I am equal and one, the specific separation.

For instance If I think something but not doing so - "I should go to that girl and talk to her"  - and then not going - it's like a fear - I want to go but I don't - and maybe I do not even know why I do not go to her, just my thought suggests me to go yet I do not go, I do not listen to my thought, but I kind of want to - or even when I have the same thought for quite some time and then I feel totally boosted for going to her, it feels like I do go to her, but in fact it's just accumulated energy with I allowed myself to be directed to act. This is a serious self-dishonesty, it's starting point fear. But I have to investigate what is the exact fear - if I do not know - I forgive myself for not knowing, I forgive myself for not wanting to know, I forgive myself for allowing myself to accepting myself not knowing what and why I do or not do.
Then I forgive myself for allowing myself to want to go yet not going to because of fear of being rejected, fear of being awkward, fear of being judged, fear of losing an opportunity, fear of not getting what I want, fear of being faced as not good enough, fear of remaining alone, fear of facing not wanting to be alone, fear of facing myself etc - this can be used to get to know myself first.

This is for the establishing self-intimacy, self-honesty - it is absolutely necessary to equalize, unify myself - there is no spirituality, drug, meditation or god in this existence what could give this self-honesty to me, it is self giving for self.

Without this, there is no understanding, there is no equal and one self-direction, only energy intervention, control, fight, polarity, stimulation to states of mind which are conditioned, limited and most definitely not self here, therefore will not be stable, constant equality and oneness with self but there will be still self-acceptance of inner friction, reaction, separation, self-dishonesty.

Walking this process makes one to realize that unless I am exactly the same expression within thought, word and deed - I am not unified, whole, but refraction-ed within space and time so to speak, based on memory, thoughts, feelings, emotions, personality etc - and in fact these are consequences and excuses for what I accept and allow within my reality within and without.

And if one decides to direct reality while not being quiet, directive, simple, obvious within - it will have an impact on how participates within actual physical action - because there will be a layer of experience within the mind, there will be a different scenario within wording and another within action.

For instance: working in a shop, being the seller - it's almost night, I want to close the shop, go to home to eat, to take a shower and do something relaxing, yet there is this customer and constantly asks annoying questions, does not buy, does not go away - and I think 'Ahhhh he is so annoying, I want him go' - yet I smile, being patient, polite - this might seem to be a good tactic in terms of the job, profit etc - but eventually I will end up creating and accepting friction - not being equal and one within thought, word and deed - and that energy accumulates.
It might not be serious and there are times when we might justify this but eventually when this becomes normal, then the stream of thoughts becomes apparently 'alive by itself' and I am unable to even influence my inner reactions to simply stop - because it is in a way a reflection of what is my inner and outer as equal and one and it is not the same.

So then this grows, layers up, becoming compressed, automatized as being accepted within each suppression moment and creates an abundant inner experience reality, which is the mind, completely evolved into an internal self, having internal conversations, reasoning, thought-patterns, bold emotional experiences meanwhile one does not see through all directly to the starting point - and then looking outside, wherein each and every human perceives, acts the same - it is the normal, it is the human way.

As children we learn quickly to think, daydream, react and suppress - yet parents wonder why becomes difficult learning, being effective in the system as responsible, dignified men and women and because our parents, teachers, leaders are also existing within the relationship of the mind - it's all becomes the reality of humanity.

The effectiveness is related to the realization of the inner and outer - and what it means to be pure from within so to speak. Within Self-honesty to ask is there any spite within myself, which I accept and allow as thinking, as wording, as deeds?

Self-purification as taking responsibility of such consequences and to walk the process of stopping what is of friction, conflict within - even the slightest. Without that it is forcing, of separation, of fear.
What support we actually get to stop the fear from within when we already allowed human 'civilization' to be defined by the acceptance and allowance of it as part of our self-identification, even when it's obviously not supporting but limiting our capability of develop and express Self-honesty.

Reflecting it back to my starting point - who I am within the decision to give as I receive starts with realizing what I have given - and also to see what I am giving - is it equal and one? Is it of conditions? Is it a decision or a consequence?

When self-purification manifests self-stability, even within this world, where there is no principle for life, no unconditional love, dignity and fearless self-expression - the action to change self is not limited, not defined, not separated by self but unified as inner and outer.

To stand up for those who are lost, abused is not based on any pity, compassion or even love - it is simple unconditional self-expression of who I am as LIFE.

This means that to find practical ways to study, investigate, learn how the world system is working, how to stand up to it and with the same principle to stand as the world as equal and one and change it as self - the exact systems what are directing human life, the economic, monetary, educational, political, philosophical, fundamental manifestations of who we are today as humanity as a whole.
Within this to see when there is judgement, where is the opinion, the self-interest and investigate and let go by digging deep within self-definitions to the recognition that it is not really who I am and naturally let go and embrace what is here.

How the current forces, interests, groups are influencing and directing the accumulation which constitutes to the tomorrow of our direction.

To principle ourselves with being aware of these can give perspective, priority and stability, dignity and the motivation for the consistency what is required to walk the process from the mind consciousness to life awareness.

As always I pronounce the effectiveness and profound fact of the self-support one can find at EQAFE and DESTENIIPROCESS with being able to take responsibility for all self here - I've stopped searching, hoping, because I find myself here where I can walk the process and share it and encourage all to stand as all life as equality and to recognize that all what is in this human system cannot be separated from SELF and all perception of separation is a fear-based abdication of responsibility which as a bubble, eventually will burst.

I've started with quite a story to see from where I am emerging to take responsibility and what is the expression I am nurturing with these writings, forgiveness within the purification and unification of principled thoughts, words, deeds as who I am as LIFE.

I commit myself to purify and walk the process of unification of principled living within thought, word and deed through Self-honesty, to ensure I am equal and one with what is within and without me as LIFE for I take responsibility within the starting point of give as I would like to receive.

I commit myself to stand up and stand out with the effective process and direction of sharing what it means to live principled life and to assist and support myself and others who recognize the LIFE within themselves and all equally as one and find practical ways to nurture and accumulate what is best for all.

I commit myself to take responsibility for Self-dishonesty within and without and purify with walking Self-forgiveness, Self-direction, Self-correction to ensure that what I accumulate is aligned with the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop the identification and influence, addiction and separation by and as energy to practically let go and realize that the substance is the source, and within that the physical is where we can stand equal and one as life within oneness and equality.

I commit myself to motivate myself to walk the process from Consciousness to Awareness with the realization and decision as who I am.

[JTL Day 212] 1. Realising and living my utmost potential

This is part of the Principles list I am committing myself to stand for. By writing what I accept and what not - I am writing my own screenplay so to speak and see who I am within starting point, writing and practical application, what still requires understanding, re-alignment and practical change.

To change oneself until not reaching our utmost potential should not be difficult - yet how the human mind and body has been 'evolved' into who we are today - we certainly can see that to change our personalities, behaviors, perceptions, reactions can be quite difficult and even almost impossible but with the right motivation, self-will and self-supporting tools - anyone can accumulate into real, practical change.

Already the reaction for one when challenged to change can be revealing - and regardless of the current world system how unequal, harsh and profit-oriented, abusive and sad can be - we all are demanding for change but never considering to actually change what is the closest: SELF HERE.
So these principles are guidelines, reflection-points on who I accept myself to be.

I have been facing a relevant point within my life which with/through I've allowed myself to become directed by as I've reacted to it within the starting point of fear.
This relationship I've developed in regarding to the word and it's meaning: PERFECTION has been proven to be in fact limiting within my expression.
Within my last post here I was writing about this concluding it how I've misunderstood 'perfection'.

I've allowed myself to be possessed with the ideas, dreams, imaginations, visions of what it means something to be perfect, in my mind it 'FEELS' intense and clear, however within actual, PRACTICAL APPLICATION, it is not supporting at all, because what happens is that first I react within my mind with emotion, thoughts and then becoming distracted with it's energy and within that rather focusing to the IDEA of perfection instead of what I actually do, so what I do becomes a subject in my mind, separated from my beingness, which then prevents to express and stand as an equal and one relationship with what I do and thus unable to PERFECT my real, physical application.

The subject can be anything - relationship, art, housekeeping, photography, programming - and within it in fact it is myself I constantly end up judging as imperfect which then obviously never can be good enough.

When I was at the Desteni farm in 2010, Bernard and Sunette opened up this point for me quite directly as there were interviews explaining the difference between the Matrix of Perfection and Self-perfection wherein the first is the system, the consciousness, the pre-programmed, automatized, limited expression of Perfection with the starting point of fear in opposition with the principle of Self-perfection, which means that within this limited world system, in this limited human physical body we still can be able to express our utmost potential, which would really mean Self-perfection.

We always perfect something, our body at the gym, our fabrication of tools, creating systems, food, cars etc but never ever considering the possibility to directly perfect ourselves. We don't even know what it would mean, right? What is in fact self anyway?
To know self means to be able to understand and within that to be able to change!

Especially with the infectious agendas of the New Age, which tries to neutralize the importance of SELF by mystifying or virtually identifying the idea of SELF with EGO which then being judged as not real, irrelevant, while within our so called 'culture' praising and idolizing the justification of individualism by defining it as a separation from all what is here, including others.

So what would mean to reach our utmost potential to me is to not be limited by energy, meaning not a single thought, feeling, emotion to imbalance me from direct ability to see/decide/act based on a consistent and direct, equal and one-based relationship with myself, all parts of myself and my surroundings.
This seems like an overwhelmingly difficult task, but only because not have been explored, only by the ideas of the mind, based on one's interest, tainted with self-definitions, judgements, memories, personality rules, characters layered upon within ourselves so profoundly that we can not directly see/understand/realize what we experience and based on that why we do what we do.

Within the polarity of the mind there is always two-edge of everything, positive and negative and within this Perfection is also can be understood as a two-edged sword, wherein one can see imperfection and with practical common sense it can become an asset, a tool, a cross-reference for not remaining stuck within the IDEA of perfection and then the JUDGEMENT of imperfection but to be able to reflect that back into oneself and real, physical, tangible action.

This means to actually letting go the judgement, the reaction of not good enough, to stop the energetic reaction with it, to let go it's starting point, why I react with this 'not cool' experience, emotion, which if I really look it it is FEAR.

It is a fear that if I ended up with this current state/creation/expression/experience and not being satisfied - then what if I'd remain so, what if there would be no time to fix it, to make it better, to become better etc.

This is kind of a point of practical success so to speak - because if it's not good enough, I re-assess, cross-reference, use common sense and apply what I have realized - but if I stop expressing by reacting with frustration, lack of satisfaction - I actually give up which then manifests my starting point what I wanted to avoid based on fear: imperfection.

So first of all to let go the fear of imperfection, fear of not being good enough, fear of failure, fear of not having enough time to finish, fear of being judged as imperfect to re-align myself to stand and express without fear.

The idea of perfection then also not practical - has been proven already - especially with the fact that how I've defined and created myself around it was based on fear, thus in reality - can not be trusted and labeled as PERFECTION.

Regardless of any holding onto any ideas as oneself has been formed relationship with to be defined - all must let go to stand naked so to speak within oneself and that is actually requires for Self-trust - without definitions to stand, without conditions to express, without judgements to trust: self here.

It's always on practicality - nothing mystical - for instance if I face instability - what makes me stable - at least what with I define and condition my perceived stability and how I compromise it - and within that how I focus on reaction and worry and prevention of instability, instead of accumulating actual stability. Which might start on decomposing, writing down, forgiving and stopping reasons and definitions, judgements and reactions on what makes me unstable.

The mind is a very serious thing and within it one can entirely self-define based on non-facts, for instance if I want to avoid conflict and ensuring to avoid those all the time, because my stability is depending on it - then from a moment of decision to practical solution - it's maybe not to avoid conflict but to prevent to create in the first place. And then realizing external conflict is caused by internal conflict and then to stop that - to stop inner friction and develop absolute self-trust, self-honesty, self-direction - this is practical self-perfection which supports oneself to be able to realize and express our utmost potential.

And we can never know what is in fact our potential until we have investigated, pushed and practically transcended all the limitations of ourselves, which is not really the body, but first of all the mind - as there is enough a single doubt, a judgement, a tiny excuse for one to stop digging, pushing, stopping, changing.

So within this - to reach my utmost potential is not something I can have reason for why changing myself for it - because I have to change who I am today for reaching my utmost potential, that's already obvious, because I can apply self-reflection on in fact being able to see when I compromise myself from within based on any fear or desire, attachment.

And by living on planet earth - it is common sense to become practical, physical, because that is the most consistent, real we can have to 'work with' on reaching our utmost potential. This means that seeing through and facing from the current human system, the actual environmental, nature, ecosystem too, considering my own human physical body, considering other humans as well, the animals, plants, weather and simply work what is here.
It can be seem quite limited, especially with the greatest fuckup existence could being ended up with, is the consequence of self-separation and limitation based on money - but this is who we are today, this is what for we take responsibility and apply ourselves unconditionally without any separation.

One can give up easily within this manifested consequence we allowed to compromise ourselves with called consciousness wherein energy seems to be more than substance, experience seems more important than facts and the mind seems more relevant than life but this is the self-dishonesty we've defined ourselves equal and one with and there is nothing in this existence what can save us from ourselves so we just learn to move ourselves one by one until all are able to take responsibility not only for oneself but for all existence because that is where reaching our utmost potential can start to be expressed.

Who knows who each of ourselves can actually become and what can do - seeing human history, there were - and are - individuals who can show remarkable performance, achievement or efficiency within wide areas of practical application such as science, art, politics etc but did they reach their utmost potential? I am not sure - and my responsibility starts with my potential to nurture and birth myself as real life, which is unlimited, un-compromised from within, not tainted by fear or doubt, not separated desire or distracted by energetic reactions.

One must realize that being able to stop the influence and control of thoughts, feelings and emotions leads to a more direct and effective, practical and physical self-expression, which absolutely not mean to become a sense-less, materialistic or zombie/robot-like being - as in fact we can become one and equal with words directly - to be the LIVING WORDS - to have a starting point, to speak and to act the same. Then what we perceived before as 'important human emotion, such as anger' is self-dishonesty - and yet - one can still express similar but not based on energy, not by reacting to memory, definitions, fear - but express self as sound - as equal and one.

One can find many books on apparent 'masters' try to explain how to reach an other state of mind wherein we are not limited, it can be referred as 'holy spirit', 'enlightenment', 'zen', 'tao', 'flow', 'shaman' etc but within actually applying these with critical starting point, self-honest investigation - these are not really supporting within direct, actual, practical change. There are tons of explanations, support available at EQAFE, DESTENI sites, I was able to understand and let go these methods, ways, perceptions and it is absolutely clear what is the actual limitation, self-dishonesty within these and I am absolutely not saying I am superior or having judgements about the individuals who are still applying these practices, ways, tools - but if anyone is interested on understanding in extreme, practical details on how the human mind, body is related to existence, what are the most practical tools on using words and physical action in this world - there would be a significant mistake to miss these supports. If one would question the support, I suggest to listen a dozen of the free EQAFE interviews - currently I am listening Kryon series and I am understanding so much about human nature, how energy is programmed in the mind and this can be directly supportive within my life, my actual relationship, work, responsibility points.

Within investigating energy itself one can realize that there is nothing really self within it - only the self-accepted relationship imprinted into the physical beingness by consistent acceptance and allowance of layered pattern of knowledge and information and regardless of what kind of energy we embrace or reject - there is the same mechanism, which exists in separation in relation to it's source, the physical substance.
That's why all religious, spiritual, enlightenment, shamanic and other ways what are available in this human world system apparently for the betterment of self are always relying on one's relationship with energy and trying to distract from the source, which is here, the physical.
Only using and by that abusing the physical for experience which always ends with death - all what goes through is so insignificant that it does not really matter - exactly because there no substantiated matter, fact, real physical beingness.

And one can ask why is that, so many effort has been made to not realize our real power to reach the utmost potential, because if we would really take responsibility for this physical earth - we would be able to realize the priorities, the simple principle of give as you would like to receive to practically realize and manifest what is best for all. That is in a way already a potential we have never realized, expressed: to always act with every single act according to what is best for all. What could be more than that, especially if we have never been able to do so?

So to stand up for what is best for all becomes practical, obvious as one walks the process of genuine self-forgiveness yet it is not easy, because within each moment one have to push, birth oneself beyond the mind, the previously accepted 'home' of our perception of beingness and go, submerge, explore, become equal and one with actual physical substance through and as the human physical body, which means to face all what is accepted and allowed currently within ourselves, within this world to be able to stand and understand and stop and change. And it is not 'groovy' or 'hip' but it is something honorable and the way to reach our utmost potential.

Within this realization it is first to stop be defined, reacted to energetic experiences within, which is through applying Self-forgiveness on becoming aware and take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed and to be able to stop - and stop means not fight, resist, suppress but actually change our very core of beingness and really let go the patterns of self-dishonest relationship with energy, information, which is basically fear of loss, fear of change, fear of fear.

It is so ingrained within ourselves the acceptance of the perception by our thoughts, feelings emotions but with throughout introspective, self-honest, cross-referencing, common sense-based investigation these aspects of ourselves can be proven self-dishonest, indirect, separating expressions in comparison of direct, absolute self-expression - only people, who are extremely specific can even consider the reason on questioning oneself to the utmost - it is so easy to accept any kind of limited answer, solution and protect self-interest with excuses and justifications why one should accept self-limitation, but regardless of the apparent insanity of giving away our own values we defined as self but beyond that there is a gift of real sanity of finding oneself and a purpose of not only about self-perfection but to actually give as would like to receive and that is the best for all period.

So back to practical application - there are words to what I've defined myself reacting to quite intensely according to the programming of my personality which was because by this I've defined the way to reach my utmost potential and in fact these definitions have been proven as not supporting - and not these words are flawed, but as I've separated myself from directly being able to express these words as direct expression without the energy of the mind and never considering the possibility to re-define these words according to supporting me and all others equally within an equal and one relationship.

Perfection, Movement, Trust, Direction, Breath, Physical, Power - I could continue with more words but these are just doors to open to recognize, understand and stop patterns of fear - because why else we would have self-limitation to accept than fear? Who would not want to be fully, absolutely oneself?
Who would refer to self as currently is by accepting and being owned by fear? We can blame parents, government, money, but if we really look at it - it is always starts and ends up with and as SELF. There is support and once we stop reacting with fear, there is common sense, there is practical solution, just to let go energy, the delusion of that we need emotions to rule/ruin our decisions - we can express words directly without emotion, but then we would end up questioning our definitions, our values and we would realize there is self-interest only - and if we compass our living based on that meanwhile compromising all life with neglect, abuse - then we are just as responsible with the actual acceptance and allowance as all others equally.
One must find a way to deal with one's perception to purify, to let go the justification of why it is alright for one BILLION humans to live in extreme poverty while in fact we would never want to have that for ourselves, we would never wish the same from them and in fact we might even would blame for them if they were me while we were in the abused situation on not standing up unconditionally for a dignified living. And it requires engaging current systems, even on economic, political level - what is the reason not to go there? Is it the law limiting me or me limiting myself not to understand, embrace and accumulate action what requires for real change. Education, Media, Politics, living as an example, sharing - these can be practical points - if I do not apply it based on a perception, I am responsible for my perception and the actual consequence too.

So if I sit here, fully clothed, having food, shelter, health care and considering my fullest, utmost potential - it is to give to all what I have at least - and within that I can see - how limited I am, how limited the whole human system, the monetary, law, economic systems are - and I could go into blame and separation of - them and me - and I am just like a little fish - but if we see - there are human individuals within those systems, groups, interests - they are using ways to accumulate direction and power to be able to do what they do and even some thing that they do their best for the betterment of humanity but then also comes the question of what I accept as my limit?
There can be also challenge - to find practical ways to change the system - is that off-limit? What is the perception behind that limit? Why? A newborn child has no limits in her/his mind - just explores - and then learns and studies, experiences and suddenly there is limitation.
So then to decompose what is actual limitation - the physical? The body? It has it's own limits, sure, but how human body has it's physical should determine how we create economic, poverty, war? The 'human nature' can also be an excuse - but the greatest secret to power is that we can change.
Once we accept limits, falls, mistakes as who we are, we are like determined to identify ourselves with what we did, what consequences we manifested, but still - self can change. And to find the decision, the will, the power, the trust in self to change is something what only SELF can GIVE for SELF - by letting go with understanding and taking responsibility.

Within forgiving, letting go, committing to let go all definitions that I've allowed automatically to come up and react to and actually re-defining how to express, apply myself according to the principles of what is best for all I am the LIVING WORDS.

There is no such thing as forgiving others, asking anything or anyone 'for' forgiveness, but it works as I - for - give as would like to receive - same principle within practical application by actually exploring the thought-patterns, the emotions programmed into our mind, body, beingness by and as WORDS.

Any spiritual-new-age or religious agenda pronouncing on universal sounds, syllables, words for self-support does not really support oneself, because if we look within ourselves with real self-honesty, the words can come up what we actually are - the exact specific thinking pattern we have to face, understand, forgive, not just hope within some energetic vibration on universal 'words', like 'OM' - those are false paths for self-realization - those are merely just for self-stimulation, accumulating energetic experiences with one can -maximum- patch oneself for a while to behave one's mind. Here is a discussion on meditation.

I've been working with the mind quite some time and with Desteni I am grasping real, unconditional confidence when facing the mind, because 'practicing' spiritual agendas', playing around with the mind, meditating on ideas and quieting, equalizing my mind is one thing but to actually, absolutely understand and 'own' and direct my mind, there is no other way than the process of Self-forgiveness - I could say that I am sorry, but actually not - anyone resisting self-forgiveness will face oneself anyway - just won't have the right tools, practical experience, accumulated self-awareness, self-direction to really stop self-limitations and I guess it's alright if one accepts so - I can only walk it for myself and the best practical way is to live as an example from energetic Consciousness to Life awareness.

Because Life only can be one and equal with and all - and to miss that opportunity see, live, express it as ourselves, to give what I've given by stopping myself before reaching my utmost potential is certainly not me. Thank you very much.

(The images are just for expression, to direct the flow of all of these words, I find more approachable if there is an image once in a while - and are also my expression - snapshots from where I live)

[JTL Day 210] Open Source Investigation part 3 - Equality

Continuing on how exploring Open Source:

• [JTL Day 208] Open Source Investigation part 1
• [JTL Day 209] Open Source Investigation part 2 - Is it really Free?

I write about my ideas of how I would imagine a world system.

It is a crucial point of realizing - "what is best for all" is also being judged as 'not possible' by referring to the diversity of people and their apparent variety of their interest, needs - thus giving up on even considering what it could mean, therefore never considering how could be acted upon this principle actually.

Instead of focusing to the differences, we could also investigate the common ground for all - what is the same within all humans, what are the points within we are all actually equals?

This is simple: physical reality - within this real-m, we all have needs what are physical: air, water, food, shelter, just to mention the very basics and even health care, education could be added as really important to have to live as a capable, healthy human being in this world.

These points can not be neglected within our own lives, to our families, otherwise things quickly become unbearable and would end terribly, therefore in fact we all equally need these to have access to - and to actually deny this point of equality for all of us is simply a deliberate ignorance.

Yet many can and will have reasons and justifications for why accepting OTHERS to suffer while ensuring our needs first is allowable - mostly because of the limitations the individuals have which multiplies and becomes common ground - but actually who is responsible for a person being limited? The crucial point is to realize the abdication of self-responsibility - because from the moment of blame and projection abdicates this responsibility - in a way ANY responsibility - one might lose the ability to change - oneself and the reality as well toward the obvious better.

Thus it is very important to realize to be able to question our own reasoning, decisions, conclusions, reactions, otherwise we might end up accepting limitation without being aware of it and carrying out actions or stand downs based on our not really cross-referenced decisions but accepted consequences accumulated into (physical) manifestations.

To take credit from me, that we are all literally equals might not seem as relevant as one's own reactions, but there are ways to expand from Self-interest, which is always wanting to be right - it's a decision obviously, especially to realize that individually, personally no one wants to be left out from to have a right for living.

It's an interesting play out - because if someone would tell me that there is a wider perspective of understanding available, wherein it becomes obvious that equality is not just a philosophy, an idealistic poetry but actual facts right here in front of our noses, then how can we dare to disregard this option without investigating, being absolutely sure that it's not the truth - "There is no such thing as truth, only denial of what is here." - once a man said that and changed the world forever starting with SELF and pointing to what is actually happening HERE on earth and we all gave into the mind-fuck of that "it is alright to accept abuse and rape and murder, famine and wars".
If one walks through this mind-delusion will realize that it is the fundamental principle here that we are always equal and one with and as all we accept and allow, therefore it means we are simply responsible.
For me there was no way back once I've realized this - and who denies it without actually, really, thoroughly investigating the possibility, the actuality, the reality of that we all should have dignified life with food, shelter, water etc.
The most relevant point is to change seems impossible, too slow, there are powerful 'interests' who want to block equality and peace while in fact we are doing the same even at areas within our own lives where we can actually have a choice to make a difference.

And to not see these choices which are based on previously made decisions - it's not common sense.

By considering the points of needs of all equally and cross-referencing these within actual current facts of how humans are living on Earth - it's easy to realize that we are disregarding points of equality, what are obvious, especially when we would consider on personally accepting and allowing - participating and even directing man-made manifestations to influence, direct human lives such as law, politics, education with government, law-enforcement, schools - and unless these 'establishments' do not consider the obvious equality points - these are compromised the same way as our perception on how we see things based on our own interest, which is mostly influenced, built upon acceptance of fear - therefore to face this fear - one must investigate what exact points are triggering this fear, what actually happens within oneself before and during the reactions of fear.

And based on this, when one tries to explain why can disregard others physical needs, what are equal to one's needs - then it is to realize that disregard is based on some kind of fear - no matter how subtle, layered, forgotten, disregarded etc.

It can become obvious when one cannot or don't want to comprehend the opposite scenario of one's opinion, thus herein the equal needs and eventually the right for fundamental requirements of physical living for all humans unconditionally.

How this all comes to the ideal world to imagine? Or even to the 'philosophy' of Open Source?

First of all - if anyone has more than enough while somebody else is lacking - and I still consider on basic physical requirements, such as food, water, shelter, health care, education - then it is obvious that unless everyone is not fed, supported at least to be able to not just survive, but to be nurtured to become a healthy being - then the 'goal' is obvious.

Especially when considering the fact that there is more than enough food in this world and it could be distributed efficiently if that would be the interest of us, as individuals and humanity as a whole as well.

So for now I do not envision beyond this simple point and unless this is not physically manifested, established as obviously default - there is so much to learn, understand and manifest.

Also it is important to acknowledge that perceptions, judgements coming from one's mind, which is busy with reactions to inner conflicts/frictions - cannot and will not be able to grasp how reality actually works because everything's grasped is being filtered through one's mind, which is existing within conflict, thus seeing everything through those exact conflicts, opposites, automatic definitions, reactions based on one's interest.

Therefore if anyone states that best for all cannot be manifested, while accepting and allowing to be influenced, changed with thoughts, feelings, emotions without self-direction, self-knowledge, self-honesty and principle, consistency, integrity - it's simply a perception what can not be taken seriously.

How the world is functioning is also a reflection of how individual beings are living in relation to their own mind, body and beingness expressed upon their surroundings, reality.

This says that any practical change based on common sense has to start with self, from inside to outside and it starts with a decision to reveal all what's not obvious, understood, known, because it is to realize - most of the people has goodwill, yet not being capable to stand up to something this obvious, such as famine, lack of health care etc - it is to acknowledge that we are being influenced within our minds what we do not yet comprehend.

It is to face how one can react based on self-definition, established belief based on perception, accepting fear which through one can compromise absolute integrity with all of the facts in this world, because if if we look at personalities - mostly people react according to personal interest, agenda or relevance. If we were able to look all things as they are - without the labels, annotations, definitions, reactions of our own mind - all would remain would be facts.

All facts are equals, however if I focus to one fact - "fact - I - on" - I am not seeing the whole, only part of it, thus what I can understand within the dynamic, holistic, global perspective is not fact.

I do not mean that to understand anything within this world, we always have to see everything as a whole, because it's not practical, especially from the current 'human condition, limited by the mind', but to conclude what we perceive as absolute, to what we base our life to build on are might not be that true, therefore we can easily compromise our own perception of how we see, understand how things are, therefore how we decide, act upon is also influenced, limited by our own perception.

Therefore it is a must to first investigate and sort out these perceptions, especially when something is based on reaction to fear - regardless of what kind of fear - fear of loss, fear of change, fear of fear.

And with decomposing, stopping fear one thing will fall step by step - the delusion of separation.

When we let all fear go - there will be no me and them anymore - and if still so - then it is known that there is still fear within one's self-definition.

That's all of this idealistic rant for today - this is my dream, idea and so to speak 'hope' - that to realize what are facts, which are real and what are of fear, which are not real - yet what we act upon, we manifest consequences, which will remain here.

To reflect back all of this into the idea of 'Open Source' - it is a concept what also can be used to demonstrate and utilize for how we also can re-align and change our own existence from scratch within our mind, physical reality equally to actually live Openly.

It is not that difficult to establish the recognition of that we are not aware of how our own mind works - and yet it is possible to learn.

I use the analogy of Closed source as a Self-Dishonest Man in relation to Open Source as a Self-Honest Man with the following points:

• A Self-Dishonest man does not understand how one's mind is operating or what are the physical consequences for all life of this. This is like there is a program running within our mind, body which we do not understand, yet we 'use it', we live according to it, we trust it
• A Self-Honest man is capable and willing to investigate and understand how and why his/her mind is functioning and being able to see the source code as it is Open and Transparent, even can be changed with understanding and practical skills by changing the program of it to explore practical ways to take responsibility for the outcome/consequences of one's starting point and actions.

There is this saying "There is always a way." - and another "I have not failed - just learned hundreds of ways what didn't work."

I've been gifted with the practical skills of software engineering - being able to investigate problems, plan and develop code, functionality, behavior for problems to solve - and there is always limitation - yet still - also there is also always a way to get it done, it is always about the technique and awareness, presence and consistency of application of how things are getting solved and the dedication becomes practical experience and within such: this gift is also a direction based on decision.

Also we can learn from what is here, in the system, for instance: corporations - they are exploring ways what we never considered to get there yet it is here - nanobots, stealth military drones, websites serving billions of people, nuclear-laser-fusion energy....dog knows what technology, yet we still not recognize that we abdicate responsibility for the most imperative point: who we are as LIFE.
Within this aspect: Open Source means that the Source, from which we build Physical Life must be Open for all participants.

We also cannot have the excuse for that the system is too big, the amount, the mass, the data is too much to handle in a fluid way to all have practical access for the basic needs, because within a recent available technology, for instance with a singular video card(which is for supporting the computer to calculate and show graphics on screen), there are billions of transistors and gigabytes of memories with many-many processors being capable of calculating data so quickly and efficiently that actually there would not be needed much more for being capable of supporting Open Source Society - if we would invest and direct ourselves to research and develop, test and establish such systems.

Also to realize that the current world system as money system is overgrown us and acts like a consciousness system - conglomerated by each individual human participant within it and apparently very few of them are able to reflect back on how they are acting according to all other participants equally.

It is apparently like the sword what can't cut itself through, we still bash and lash on the consequences of who we are within ourselves yet never considering to open up this one simple point by stepping back for a moment to see what is always here: SELF.

So for me Open Source is not only a software methodology, not even 'just' a way to transform society, government in order to give as we would like to receive on individual and global level, but it can be a WAY to take responsibility not just as some creatures, but also AS Creation AND Creator as well - sharing is caring, giving is receiving and by doing this - to even take this responsibility for who we are and how we can change ourselves in order to stop conflict within ourselves and among each other.

How we think, feel, react to can be changed and I am not talking about genetic engineering, breeding, mutation, those are also consequence-plays, but actually - it is Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness, Self-direction supported by writing, sounding and acting Living Words as SELF as PHYSICAL with what we can give for ourselves a new chance, a change according to what is best for all.

The idea of being a creator by changing our beingness is in fact the most honoring thing we could do by actually standing up as responsible as equal as creation - and this responsibility is here, regardless of we take it or not - if the current system accepts abuse and I do so - I am the system, I am responsible - therefore a Self-honest way is to investigate, change, apply unconditionally.

This can give so many advantages I cannot list them here but the most relevant would be that if we re-establish our beingness starting point as Self Here as Equal as One with and as all what is here in the Physical - as Existence, as all Life - then there is no fall from this 'location' - because wherever and whatever will come - "I am always HERE" - All what is here is SELF and this gives stability, consistency, integrity. And as foggy this can sound, actually it can be lived very simply and practically in each moment equally. Just if one is incapable of - should know, that a process awaits to be walked - the Self-realization, for give as would like to receive - for Self - for Others - all as Equal as One as Life.

So my idea of free world would be like this:
-A system is here to ensure all have access to food, shelter, water, health care, education, using technology, whatever to work practically
-No one is being accepted who would try to overcome the basic right for a healthy living for anyone
-Understand the idea of freedom, not as currently, as using free will as excuse and justification for abuse, but for all to give a dignified life, being free from the fear
-Facilities to support for overcoming fear - fear from overpopulation, fear from loss, fear from fear

This seems like utopia - only some science fiction movies showed this kind of way but if we investigate how the systems are established on earth today - there are ways actually which through this could be manifested - but currently there are things placed within our mind, in the system to keep us away from the truth, which is simply what is going on here and how we are giving away our individual power. But this knowledge seems like Closed Source, in fact it is Open, but we have to investigate and apply to change to open ourselves too based on these principles, most importantly: Self-honesty.
This is what Equal Life Foundation is busy with, the individuals, 'simple' persons, like me are standing up and together to educate, investigate, research and manifest practical solutions to all have a dignified life.
One can only work on self-realization until a point from where there is no self as individual but as all equal, on this planet within this current system, embracing all the facts here.

• http://livingincome.me/
• https://www.facebook.com/BasicIncomeGuaranteedByEqualLifeFoundation
• https://www.youtube.com/user/LivingIncome