[JTL Day 213] 2. Living by the principle of what is best for all

Continuing with the Principles list.

2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all


What is best for all - means that within my starting point, words and action I am accumulating what is based on for the support of all life equally.
All includes self, me and excludes no one. What guides through the maze of consciousness, the influence of energy, the perception of the mind is Self-honesty.
Self-honesty is the compass as I do not accept anything less than who I really am as LIFE.
To actually self-realize what is best for all starts with here within applying Self-honesty: What is really the best for me?
This leads to the question of Who I really am in this existence, on this earth, as a human being.
I am here - and it is not a location, it is a starting point, a statement, a decision: Who I am? All what is HERE. I am all ways Here.
This is the eye of the needle: I am taking responsibility for who I am - if I am all what is here, that means I take responsibility for all, I want the best for who I am, which is all.
Yet the process starts with SELF here as Self has been accepted and allowed to manifest self-limitation which through being able to be unaware of what is Self, the 'Who I am?' and what is Self-responsibility.

Self-responsibility starts with Self-honesty: the acknowledge and the investigation of self-limitation, which can only be denied up to a certain amount of common sense and cross-reference.

It's so simple if we look at that all what is here is accepted by everyone, and anyone states that it is not the best - then why does not change it?
To try to change what is here - being referred as 'self' or 'reality' - and not being able to: means one has limits. Who wants to face that directly?
Self-honesty means to not accept the self-limitation from within, but to dig deeper, investigate further, becoming practical on facing and understanding oneself.

What is best for oneself is when there is no conflict within, there is no doubt, no fear, no shame, no regret - at all! If one states that it is the best to have such reactions - is it really self-honesty?

What is best for oneself on the PHYSICAL level is more simple - it's obvious, undeniable: healthy food, water, shelter, air, space, tools - education, care - the best to have these and the worst to not getting access to these simple physical needs. This is fact - who does not agree?

To have what requires a human for LIVING is not default, not in this current human system, oh no, not at all - yet everyone expects it, because it is right to have a living, alright? To be left out from the undeniable, obvious needs to be a healthy human is the worst for the individual - this is not rocket science, just simple common sense.

What also should be pretty straightforward is to realize that I have given what I have - many can argue with this by saying they have worked for it, earned it - but if we look at all the things from a holistic, global perspective - all is given - food, shelter, water, even the given value to money. Don't look at only from human perspective, look at from the ecosystem, animals, plants, the weather, the planet, the solar system - we actually do not own anything except being obsessed with 'thin king' ideas in the mind, the virtual self-imaginary device meanwhile the actual life, the body, the resources 'just' all ARE in the physical.

So in a way - we own only our mind - even our body is from the planet's ecosystem and the consequence of that mind - which is what we come up as who we think we should imagine and behave ourselves to be - on all other levels we are all just physical substance cycles. It's a perspective - but should be investigated! And a self-honest human will certainly do so if can or willing to break out from the constant occupation from the mind's cycles of self-interest.
Because if we dare to investigate it can become quite obvious that we don't even own our mind, oh no, in a way it owns the human, because it is superior in many ways - it is always one step before where we go, what we see, hear and understand - it is a fundamental spacesuit which through we are interfaced(what a word here inter-faced!) by energies, thoughts, feelings, senses, memories, personalities, definitions, desires which are conditioned to situations, reactions to represent our perception of who we think we are as a person but none of those really matters once our heart stops, it's irrelevant how developed our mind or the skill we have with our mind or with reality once our body dies. So in a way we are inferior to the mind which is inferior to the human physical body - and what are we aware of in the meantime? Not really how these really function, not even 'high-science' understands the brain, the cells - so to actually realize that we lack real understanding can be mind-blowing and one wants to understand how the mind works to be able to put it aside to face reality directly without schema, polarity, projection, definition - just to experience things as they are, directly. This is imperative.
And the mind is not the boogieman here - it's also a consequence, a systematic reflection, a mirror for and as self which with we can face and realize who we are and who we are not.

The interest of self can be revealing and it's consequence within action/manifestation we create or accept each day, each moment - and to see that, to understand it, to be responsible for it and not just face it but commit self to change is Self-honesty.

Within self-honesty it is obvious that there is serious problem within this human system - beyond the total self-interest, which makes the human believe that it's own mind is right, that others can be left out from the equation, just using the whole to get, but not give back, to expect to have but allow others not to have, to not take responsibility for one's action, consequences, not considering how others will experience that - it is obviously not the best for all.

So from all of this, it should be clear what is the best for all - it's not that difficult, complicated as it might seem from one's mind - and if it is - means oneself is so crowded with the ideas of one's self-interested ideas that can not see through from one's mind into actual, physical reality and therefore Self-honesty should be considered, embraced, understood and practically applied unconditionally.

To be able to guide me in thought, word and deed to always, in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all starts with self - to stop the ideas of self-interest, to stop justify self's survival and protection as the most important thing even beyond others needs.

The reality is quite serious - our very living environment is being abused so much that more and more areas are becoming uninhabitable, the destruction of the forests, the dieing of the ocean, the pollution of the water shows us that we are irresponsible, not considering others, just our own interest and even that not really, because we are so obsessed with the IDEAS of our interest, that we do not see that it is absolute self-deception.
By investigating our system, it can be quite shocking to realize that current forces directing the faith of humanity cannot be trusted - corporations driven by insane obsession for exploiting profit, governments lead by corrupted individuals, religions motivated by fundamental extremism, it is an absolute denial of common sense and real compassion - let's face it - it can be war at any time basically anywhere if these interests meet or oppose - only people with absolute integrity, committed who stand together for taking responsibility for all life can make a difference and it is not a choice to realize that who has the potential then should stand up to it.
I do not say I will be politician, but within self-honesty I could not sit around and just 'enjoy' all my life while being aware of that the half of the world is burning. It is also to realize that what we are facing currently is a long-term consequence for the abdication of responsibility for humanity as a whole and the correction cannot be done overnight but requires dedication, consistency and principled living and within that prioritizing of our lives is required by letting go self-interest but not within inner conflict/friction, rather than by Self-honest investigation and actually realizing that the starting point of any self-interest which excludes all life is based on fear, a delusion thus it is common sense to let go...

So to start standing up to what is best for all starts with stopping self-deception, expressing oneself as practical changing, sharing/applying oneself and simply give as would like to receive. This means that what I have given - I should give naturally as well.

We can dream about everything should be free, but there are limitations within resources yet it could be abundantly enough for all of us here if we could learn to give unconditionally, but everybody expects to get first and this does not really flow very well.

So for me, guiding my thought, word and deed to ensure that the outcome of my actions are supporting the problems what are blocking to be this world to be the best possible for all.

And then it means becoming practical, becoming skilled, becoming effective, becoming involved with issues, problems, facts and taking responsibility by living an example of giving as would like to receive on all levels of human living - with myself, within family, within society - no matter where I am, I know who I am, I am committing myself to be what is best for all. That's my name and the only relevant name we should live up to.

Yet I do not deny there is individual expression within all of us - that's why I'd support all equally, because every individual is unique if nurtured, given equally.

And the current system and it's participants has accepted itself existing as millions starving to death, hundreds of thousands are killed in wars every year - yet we, as being in Europe, America or in any 'more rich' country - we, who have food, shelter, health care, education, clean water - we have given but if we do not give as well - what that tells about ourselves? That is the point of self-honesty.

We can sure can enjoy our lives and not constantly strive on problems to solve but it is also the point of self-honesty on how much one can stand up to others as self - and it's a process but there are tools, people to support with the practical application.

And the people who are ready to support - they are no different - they have given support and they give support - and they do not expect anything but apply self, be honest and stand up for all life.

There are economic, political systems in this world what are supporting inequality, what should be re-aligned with what would be the best for all but it does not necessary means one only has to solve those problems - it is also the same on individual level - when I face a friction/conflict - with my partner or in my family/at work - when about to react with frustration, fear, anger, jealousy, desire etc - it is also the point of application of Self-honesty: to slow down within for a moment, to consider all participants of the situation objectively, to consider what would be the practical solution for all, including myself here and apply that.

If we can consider and find out the best possible outcome in each situation for all participants by becoming aware of our starting point, the consequence of our actions and the responsibility we have for it - we can align and change ourselves to be able to make the decisions by what we act in reality to actually live by the principle of what is best for all.

This brings back to the point of the actual, walkable, day to day application of how to guide myself to ensure that accumulating actions/consequences what is manifests what is best for all.

• First of all working through the resistances I face to certain aspects of my life - establishing more stability, consistency within my self-forgiveness, sharing and supporting myself and others within becoming aware of how reality works and be able to apply practical change.
• Stopping reacting by and to fear by slowing down within, writing down the reactions, mind-constructs and cross-reference self-dishonesty to be able to understand and change to what is considering all participants in the equation.
• Standing up to investigating how my mind works, how to stop the inner conflict, prevent any blame, projection, attention diversion, obsession, possession, desire, fear to distract me from what is the priority within my commitments.
• Focusing to give what I have given within the practical knowledge on how the mind works, supporting the education, process of self-forgiveness and finding stability and consistency in and as the human physical body as the expression of life and also within the physical aspects, meaning supporting research and change within the world system, it's economic, law and monetary systems, exposing inequality, abuse and proposing more practical, equal ways to co-exists within self-and others respect both on on the physical and beingness level.

[JTL Day 210] Open Source Investigation part 3 - Equality

Continuing on how exploring Open Source:

• [JTL Day 208] Open Source Investigation part 1
• [JTL Day 209] Open Source Investigation part 2 - Is it really Free?

I write about my ideas of how I would imagine a world system.

It is a crucial point of realizing - "what is best for all" is also being judged as 'not possible' by referring to the diversity of people and their apparent variety of their interest, needs - thus giving up on even considering what it could mean, therefore never considering how could be acted upon this principle actually.

Instead of focusing to the differences, we could also investigate the common ground for all - what is the same within all humans, what are the points within we are all actually equals?

This is simple: physical reality - within this real-m, we all have needs what are physical: air, water, food, shelter, just to mention the very basics and even health care, education could be added as really important to have to live as a capable, healthy human being in this world.

These points can not be neglected within our own lives, to our families, otherwise things quickly become unbearable and would end terribly, therefore in fact we all equally need these to have access to - and to actually deny this point of equality for all of us is simply a deliberate ignorance.

Yet many can and will have reasons and justifications for why accepting OTHERS to suffer while ensuring our needs first is allowable - mostly because of the limitations the individuals have which multiplies and becomes common ground - but actually who is responsible for a person being limited? The crucial point is to realize the abdication of self-responsibility - because from the moment of blame and projection abdicates this responsibility - in a way ANY responsibility - one might lose the ability to change - oneself and the reality as well toward the obvious better.

Thus it is very important to realize to be able to question our own reasoning, decisions, conclusions, reactions, otherwise we might end up accepting limitation without being aware of it and carrying out actions or stand downs based on our not really cross-referenced decisions but accepted consequences accumulated into (physical) manifestations.

To take credit from me, that we are all literally equals might not seem as relevant as one's own reactions, but there are ways to expand from Self-interest, which is always wanting to be right - it's a decision obviously, especially to realize that individually, personally no one wants to be left out from to have a right for living.

It's an interesting play out - because if someone would tell me that there is a wider perspective of understanding available, wherein it becomes obvious that equality is not just a philosophy, an idealistic poetry but actual facts right here in front of our noses, then how can we dare to disregard this option without investigating, being absolutely sure that it's not the truth - "There is no such thing as truth, only denial of what is here." - once a man said that and changed the world forever starting with SELF and pointing to what is actually happening HERE on earth and we all gave into the mind-fuck of that "it is alright to accept abuse and rape and murder, famine and wars".
If one walks through this mind-delusion will realize that it is the fundamental principle here that we are always equal and one with and as all we accept and allow, therefore it means we are simply responsible.
For me there was no way back once I've realized this - and who denies it without actually, really, thoroughly investigating the possibility, the actuality, the reality of that we all should have dignified life with food, shelter, water etc.
The most relevant point is to change seems impossible, too slow, there are powerful 'interests' who want to block equality and peace while in fact we are doing the same even at areas within our own lives where we can actually have a choice to make a difference.

And to not see these choices which are based on previously made decisions - it's not common sense.

By considering the points of needs of all equally and cross-referencing these within actual current facts of how humans are living on Earth - it's easy to realize that we are disregarding points of equality, what are obvious, especially when we would consider on personally accepting and allowing - participating and even directing man-made manifestations to influence, direct human lives such as law, politics, education with government, law-enforcement, schools - and unless these 'establishments' do not consider the obvious equality points - these are compromised the same way as our perception on how we see things based on our own interest, which is mostly influenced, built upon acceptance of fear - therefore to face this fear - one must investigate what exact points are triggering this fear, what actually happens within oneself before and during the reactions of fear.

And based on this, when one tries to explain why can disregard others physical needs, what are equal to one's needs - then it is to realize that disregard is based on some kind of fear - no matter how subtle, layered, forgotten, disregarded etc.

It can become obvious when one cannot or don't want to comprehend the opposite scenario of one's opinion, thus herein the equal needs and eventually the right for fundamental requirements of physical living for all humans unconditionally.

How this all comes to the ideal world to imagine? Or even to the 'philosophy' of Open Source?

First of all - if anyone has more than enough while somebody else is lacking - and I still consider on basic physical requirements, such as food, water, shelter, health care, education - then it is obvious that unless everyone is not fed, supported at least to be able to not just survive, but to be nurtured to become a healthy being - then the 'goal' is obvious.

Especially when considering the fact that there is more than enough food in this world and it could be distributed efficiently if that would be the interest of us, as individuals and humanity as a whole as well.

So for now I do not envision beyond this simple point and unless this is not physically manifested, established as obviously default - there is so much to learn, understand and manifest.

Also it is important to acknowledge that perceptions, judgements coming from one's mind, which is busy with reactions to inner conflicts/frictions - cannot and will not be able to grasp how reality actually works because everything's grasped is being filtered through one's mind, which is existing within conflict, thus seeing everything through those exact conflicts, opposites, automatic definitions, reactions based on one's interest.

Therefore if anyone states that best for all cannot be manifested, while accepting and allowing to be influenced, changed with thoughts, feelings, emotions without self-direction, self-knowledge, self-honesty and principle, consistency, integrity - it's simply a perception what can not be taken seriously.

How the world is functioning is also a reflection of how individual beings are living in relation to their own mind, body and beingness expressed upon their surroundings, reality.

This says that any practical change based on common sense has to start with self, from inside to outside and it starts with a decision to reveal all what's not obvious, understood, known, because it is to realize - most of the people has goodwill, yet not being capable to stand up to something this obvious, such as famine, lack of health care etc - it is to acknowledge that we are being influenced within our minds what we do not yet comprehend.

It is to face how one can react based on self-definition, established belief based on perception, accepting fear which through one can compromise absolute integrity with all of the facts in this world, because if if we look at personalities - mostly people react according to personal interest, agenda or relevance. If we were able to look all things as they are - without the labels, annotations, definitions, reactions of our own mind - all would remain would be facts.

All facts are equals, however if I focus to one fact - "fact - I - on" - I am not seeing the whole, only part of it, thus what I can understand within the dynamic, holistic, global perspective is not fact.

I do not mean that to understand anything within this world, we always have to see everything as a whole, because it's not practical, especially from the current 'human condition, limited by the mind', but to conclude what we perceive as absolute, to what we base our life to build on are might not be that true, therefore we can easily compromise our own perception of how we see, understand how things are, therefore how we decide, act upon is also influenced, limited by our own perception.

Therefore it is a must to first investigate and sort out these perceptions, especially when something is based on reaction to fear - regardless of what kind of fear - fear of loss, fear of change, fear of fear.

And with decomposing, stopping fear one thing will fall step by step - the delusion of separation.

When we let all fear go - there will be no me and them anymore - and if still so - then it is known that there is still fear within one's self-definition.

That's all of this idealistic rant for today - this is my dream, idea and so to speak 'hope' - that to realize what are facts, which are real and what are of fear, which are not real - yet what we act upon, we manifest consequences, which will remain here.

To reflect back all of this into the idea of 'Open Source' - it is a concept what also can be used to demonstrate and utilize for how we also can re-align and change our own existence from scratch within our mind, physical reality equally to actually live Openly.

It is not that difficult to establish the recognition of that we are not aware of how our own mind works - and yet it is possible to learn.

I use the analogy of Closed source as a Self-Dishonest Man in relation to Open Source as a Self-Honest Man with the following points:

• A Self-Dishonest man does not understand how one's mind is operating or what are the physical consequences for all life of this. This is like there is a program running within our mind, body which we do not understand, yet we 'use it', we live according to it, we trust it
• A Self-Honest man is capable and willing to investigate and understand how and why his/her mind is functioning and being able to see the source code as it is Open and Transparent, even can be changed with understanding and practical skills by changing the program of it to explore practical ways to take responsibility for the outcome/consequences of one's starting point and actions.

There is this saying "There is always a way." - and another "I have not failed - just learned hundreds of ways what didn't work."

I've been gifted with the practical skills of software engineering - being able to investigate problems, plan and develop code, functionality, behavior for problems to solve - and there is always limitation - yet still - also there is also always a way to get it done, it is always about the technique and awareness, presence and consistency of application of how things are getting solved and the dedication becomes practical experience and within such: this gift is also a direction based on decision.

Also we can learn from what is here, in the system, for instance: corporations - they are exploring ways what we never considered to get there yet it is here - nanobots, stealth military drones, websites serving billions of people, nuclear-laser-fusion energy....dog knows what technology, yet we still not recognize that we abdicate responsibility for the most imperative point: who we are as LIFE.
Within this aspect: Open Source means that the Source, from which we build Physical Life must be Open for all participants.

We also cannot have the excuse for that the system is too big, the amount, the mass, the data is too much to handle in a fluid way to all have practical access for the basic needs, because within a recent available technology, for instance with a singular video card(which is for supporting the computer to calculate and show graphics on screen), there are billions of transistors and gigabytes of memories with many-many processors being capable of calculating data so quickly and efficiently that actually there would not be needed much more for being capable of supporting Open Source Society - if we would invest and direct ourselves to research and develop, test and establish such systems.

Also to realize that the current world system as money system is overgrown us and acts like a consciousness system - conglomerated by each individual human participant within it and apparently very few of them are able to reflect back on how they are acting according to all other participants equally.

It is apparently like the sword what can't cut itself through, we still bash and lash on the consequences of who we are within ourselves yet never considering to open up this one simple point by stepping back for a moment to see what is always here: SELF.

So for me Open Source is not only a software methodology, not even 'just' a way to transform society, government in order to give as we would like to receive on individual and global level, but it can be a WAY to take responsibility not just as some creatures, but also AS Creation AND Creator as well - sharing is caring, giving is receiving and by doing this - to even take this responsibility for who we are and how we can change ourselves in order to stop conflict within ourselves and among each other.

How we think, feel, react to can be changed and I am not talking about genetic engineering, breeding, mutation, those are also consequence-plays, but actually - it is Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness, Self-direction supported by writing, sounding and acting Living Words as SELF as PHYSICAL with what we can give for ourselves a new chance, a change according to what is best for all.

The idea of being a creator by changing our beingness is in fact the most honoring thing we could do by actually standing up as responsible as equal as creation - and this responsibility is here, regardless of we take it or not - if the current system accepts abuse and I do so - I am the system, I am responsible - therefore a Self-honest way is to investigate, change, apply unconditionally.

This can give so many advantages I cannot list them here but the most relevant would be that if we re-establish our beingness starting point as Self Here as Equal as One with and as all what is here in the Physical - as Existence, as all Life - then there is no fall from this 'location' - because wherever and whatever will come - "I am always HERE" - All what is here is SELF and this gives stability, consistency, integrity. And as foggy this can sound, actually it can be lived very simply and practically in each moment equally. Just if one is incapable of - should know, that a process awaits to be walked - the Self-realization, for give as would like to receive - for Self - for Others - all as Equal as One as Life.

So my idea of free world would be like this:
-A system is here to ensure all have access to food, shelter, water, health care, education, using technology, whatever to work practically
-No one is being accepted who would try to overcome the basic right for a healthy living for anyone
-Understand the idea of freedom, not as currently, as using free will as excuse and justification for abuse, but for all to give a dignified life, being free from the fear
-Facilities to support for overcoming fear - fear from overpopulation, fear from loss, fear from fear

This seems like utopia - only some science fiction movies showed this kind of way but if we investigate how the systems are established on earth today - there are ways actually which through this could be manifested - but currently there are things placed within our mind, in the system to keep us away from the truth, which is simply what is going on here and how we are giving away our individual power. But this knowledge seems like Closed Source, in fact it is Open, but we have to investigate and apply to change to open ourselves too based on these principles, most importantly: Self-honesty.
This is what Equal Life Foundation is busy with, the individuals, 'simple' persons, like me are standing up and together to educate, investigate, research and manifest practical solutions to all have a dignified life.
One can only work on self-realization until a point from where there is no self as individual but as all equal, on this planet within this current system, embracing all the facts here.

• http://livingincome.me/
• https://www.facebook.com/BasicIncomeGuaranteedByEqualLifeFoundation
• https://www.youtube.com/user/LivingIncome

[JTL Day 196] 10. Making Love Visible part 4

Continuing with 10. Making Love Visible part 1 and part 2 and part 3 as a point within my Declaration of Living Principles.

I establish some self-integrity within equalizing will, vision and action with words in regards to the re-definition of LOVE to assist and support me and others in my reality.

Realizing that Love is to give what I would like to receive I commit myself to ensure that I do not hold onto energetic charges, moods, emotions within my expression of love which I realize that it is only real when it is of and as the physical here, visible, touchable, measurable and manifesting consequences what must be what is best for all participants.

Recognizing the ability to talk with kindness, openness I commit myself to not allow any fear to influence me within my interaction with others and if I recognize any fear within my mind, thoughts, body, energies, I stop, I literally stop and I act immediately as any waiting, spending time within the mind-state of hope gives false light as undermining my self-trust, self-direction, self-honesty because I allow forces outside of me to influence, direct me instead of I directly see, decide, act and move breath by breath within responsibility.

I had a moment of reaction about walking this point which was exactly this:

"I'd like to finish this point to walk through and write about other points already, because many things are coming up, should be also expressed, realized, directed, forgiven, changed."

Specificity and sticking to the exact point what I've started is required and recognizing the tendency to not walk through a point until it is clear, not moving, not influencing, not being accepted in any way whatsoever which then manifests time loop, as allowing aspects, dimensions, relationships still existing what has not yet been re-aligned within and as me and then participating within it re-creating the same dishonesties within action which then when recognized would create unnecessary reaction.

Thus I specify further here:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that if I do not walk a point with writing, self-forgiveness, self-correction and self-commitment until it is entirely here as myself without any thought it is not stopped entirely within me as mind-relationship-behavior-pattern, then I will not be aware fully what I literally participate within which is required to recognize the trigger points, the set and setting to see the pattern before doing it to remember my decision to stop and be able to stop.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that self-forgiveness should and must be absolute specific, practical, real which can be applied in and as the physical in one breath at a time within consistency.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I've allowed myself to not walk through points fully until it is stopped within the energetic stimulation, personality influences which then revealing that I do not do it within self-direction but of circumstances which if not existing, I stop applying, I stop stopping, thus not really changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to write through the patterns of false love within self-forgiveness and self-commitment only and not realizing that writing is the preparation for real living - for be able to learn how to really love and literally make love visible in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that breathing, forgiving and wording is not enough but I have to move, act and do within stable, consistent expression in order to become one and equal with the words I write, I speak thus becoming the Living Words of Love of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I have never loved myself within the fact that I allowed myself to fall into the dishonesty of self-separation from my beingness, my life source substance and within separation creating relationships externally and using those to define, determine, manifest and form and shape me and not realizing that all negative, all hate, all anger I've ever expressed is of because of lack of self-love which can be and should be and will be stopped by stopping existing being defined with relationships separated from me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that self-love starts with quieting myself within, standing up for all life equally and not allowing myself to be possessed with thoughts, feelings, emotions, letting go each and every single inner energetic reactions to not participate anymore yet expressing myself here, visibly, physically directly, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that making love visible is when I become consistent within self-reliance, self-direction and self-commitment to stop confusion, depression, suppression and projection and taking everything back to self and be responsible for all I can do which starting with living self-forgiveness here.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to have idea of love which is not related to physical and react to others as 'bullshit' when they I see/define/react with the impression of 'their love is not visible, they do not really love but they are in consciousness mind systems and feeling love, feeling this energy which is not real, not visible, not love' and instead of judging and blaming, I become the living example of visible love which is changing myself from reaction/judgement/blame to direction/expression/movement.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I really want to walk through all past-related delusions what I've referred as love and then realized it is self-dishonesty yet not specifying, not facing directly, not walking into practical change within the fear of change, fear of loss, fear of fear.

I forgive myself that I have not written practical self-forgiveness in relation to my current living, current relationship, current agreement, current opportunity to explore what would really mean visible, physical, real love.

I forgive myself that I have not realized the tendency within my mind to beat around the bush yet accumulating determination to be able to really commit myself to change instead of directly commit and directly change in one moment, one point at a time.

I forgive myself that I have not realized the fact that I've pre-defined love, pre-programmed what would mean love to be and not allowing to walk through these points because still holding onto these ideas of 'love' instead of applying common sense, practical mannerism unconditionally, trusting myself unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I have given permission my memories, my relationships, my definitions, judgements to tell me how to live, how to love, what to live, what to love unconditionally without awareness, without taking responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to manifest love with my partner to be a fight, a warfare, an energetic polarity manifestation wherein I have to be right, I have to feel good, I have to feel free and I have to be able to do whatever I want in the moment in the name of expectation of acceptance even when it is self-dishonesty with the un-worded contract of the minds of "I accept your dishonesty, you accept mine, this is our love".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from the word of 'compromise' because already believing it means I am falling, I am fallen, I am lost within the accumulation of manifestation of consequence of self-acceptance and allowance of self-dishonesty instead of stopping one breath at a time, one point at a time within self-will, self-trust, self-direction without judging this process, judging how much time points require to realize/stop/change.

I will continue with actual, practical points in my current life.

[JTL Day 188] 5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – 

realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others.

(One of My Declaration of Principle)

Self-responsibility - this seems as one point though as I open it within the actual manifestations, how in fact just for instance myself being interconnected with many others, especially those who I am not aware of, yet I am bit by bit contributing for things to manifest which I completely miss: the things I do within and through the money system. Let's say I have 100 money - I just get that and spend it on something - I do not really know how that amount came to me and when I spend it - I do not really know where it goes. I can follow how it is accumulating and splitting and multiplying and that happens all the time as billions and billions are moving all around constantly and there is no one human who can take responsibility for all of it at once - it is a vast system which in fact runs by itself, there is no any single individual who would be crucial in it's operation, so within that individuality is quite irrelevant, yet there is a word what connects all individuals into it: accumulation.

The same goes within the mind - there are always events, scenarios, circumstances around me - whether I participate in the world system or not - I am already in and as this human physical body - no escape - that puts me directly into the circulation.
For the sole surviving, the physical body's needs food, water, shelter, health care. How to get that? Participating within the system. How to do that? For the things one should know about there is parenting, education, knowledge. Words. Definitions. Relationships.

Humans have a mind, within with they can think: silent words, some filled with energies, feelings, emotions.
Simply by being in and as this human physical body: humans has the interface with the system, each other through words.

We use words to describe, to remember, to plan, to express, to explore and expand. Word by word we create.

We come from the past and being in the present and going to the future - time is passing through and within that we always accumulate - especially the things we repeat. Anything I repeat, I accumulate it's effect, that's right. Anything I repeat, I accumulate it's effect - 1+1=2, that is how this system has power over individuals and that is how our mind we give permission one plus one time always, constantly to tell us how we are is human nature, this is how always we've been, war, rape, murder is who we are and that is what we manifest and accumulate by believing this is who we really are but in fact it is just a compound interest of something not life.

There are manifested consequences within and as the mind, as equal as one as in the physical reality - even the very action of doing or not doing anything has already impact in this reality.

Self-responsibility is to reveal and understand this creation, its very starting point and realize how me, I, the individual am busy participating within it and questioning why; and not stopping at half-way within finding the real answers to the fundamental question of who I really am.

What I allow in this reality is my responsibility, the limits I accept is who I am equal and one with.

This seems as an already done creation, everything is in interaction, everyone is someone, doing what they are doing all the time, even if one stops for a moment to question, there is an interest within it, an intent, a starting point which has already something given, created, accumulated into.

I've recognized the fact that I've gave permission to my mind to react and accumulate with energy and by that to influence, move me and my world and by that accumulating to manifest consequences, which is not best for me, not best for all.
To "go into" judgement, reaction, denial, delusion, fear, confusion, obsession, frustration is quite easy as being a human, yet it does not require dozens of years of education to recognize that it is not really self-supportive, yet everyone accepts self within these states to be.
Furthermore, to scratch what is behind all the positive feelings, desire, love, happiness - these also can be -and should be - questioned within objective common sense, not only from the individual's interest but the whole environment and see whether it is best for all or not.

That is my responsibility and most of the time, especially within this human system 'other' people do not know, can not really see when specifically I am dishonest: mostly because they are also busy within their mind, because it is widely accepted and also because it requires principle and living responsibility to investigate, to understand, to see, to realize.

That is why it is SELF-responsibility, because only Self can stand up as responsible for self-acceptance, self-dishonesty, self-deception to be able to stop.
And there are times when I see I am changing, for instance just in this morning I was seeing many patterns I've participated previously as reacting with emotion, fear, anger and instability and this time I did not - not because it is just happening, but because I discipline myself to walk the process of Self-forgiveness, write down the patterns, slow myself down within, question knowledge, explore solutions, accumulating with one plus one action into self-knowing and self-empowerment to self-will and self-trust to really understand what it would mean "what is best for all is what is best for me".

So within that awareness, prevention for reactions I've directed myself to not fall at several points this time and at one I've noticed some energy movement within me, which was not self-directed - it was not a big reaction, just it was there - so I specify, I expand my practical knowledge of what I consist of, because I am responsible for that tiny reaction, which was in fact questionable from the point of absolute self-honesty, therefore it is my responsibility to question and give the best possible practical answer next time if it would occur.

And there is nothing bad or wrong in these moments of when I react with sharp tongue and provocative words as I did this time reacting to someone becoming emotional, but how and who I responded as: I was able to notice that I had something energy compound which I did not direct within awareness, thus it accumulated into this exerting, which was then not really supportive.
I repeat, thus accumulate: doesn't seem to be a big deal, but I am sure, from small things occurring constantly grows all big and then manifesting irreversible consequences, which is smarter to prevent.

Just like the world system, within the capitalistic money-hypnosis to fuel the energy of the same mind which reacts instead of directs.

Within the world system, self-responsibility has been separated into endless amount of self-interests and the strive for apparently ultimate experiences as happiness and love, power and stability, which to get within this harsh and neglecting system requires money, what is accumulated that the rich feel positive by enslaving the poor who feel negative.

This is the very same within the mind: having negative judgements accumulating into emotional storms and make the individual strive to grasp which is provided, taught, suggested, hypnotized as positive, good, all of this through accumulation of words, images, reactions, ending up the human being just an word-and feeling-driven programmable experience organic machine, apparently always choosing which is good for this apparent idea of self, which is completely separated from everything else, lost in the experience, defined by the reactions, limited to self-interest.

We are in a quite closed system wherein separation and opinion is more important than the fact that we breathe the same air, drink the same water, our bodies are build from the same dust.
Each mother knows how much has to be provided for a child, yet it is absolutely neglected for billions.
Each father exactly knows what it means when can not provide the best for their own family, yet they accept themselves as can not being able to consider all other fathers - and mothers and children - equally, just mesmerized, bubbled into their own tiny experience-reality.
Each and every single human child is facing the same world when born, feeling the same sun and most of them are determined for endless suffering what for it is really rare that someone would like, can or even willing to take responsibility for

Each human exactly knows that without proper food, shelter, education, health care this world can easily become hell, yet it is disregarded completely for those who have no money by abusing the very word: self-responsibility by blaming 'their self' for what they accept and manifest while 'my-self' is quite alright.

It is human right to choose yet in fact it is not a choice who is born into what amount of utopia from the fact of that there is no unconditional love existing in this planet, or if one perceives such - it is deliberate to screw with the mind to not manifest it for all equally based on some hidden agenda.
These things simply happen, because SELF has not yet been understood, realized, lived, therefore realizing that Self-responsibility is not just about oneself but it starts here.
Disregarding the point of equality as breathing the same life force within each is creating unthinkable amount of abuse which only can be dealt by individuals standing with the same starting point as Self-responsibility in unison, accumulated into by many "one plus one equals two"-s.

So Self-responsibility is to see who I am and what is my DIRECT responsibility as an individual in regarding to my mind and located within a physical human system wherein each one starts to realize that currently this all accumulates into manifestations what is obviously not best for all and to purify one's beingness to the point of being able to deal with what is here, facts, physical reality and stand within unwavering, unchanging as the principle as all life and investigate, research, manifest, accumulate practical solutions for the systems to be changed one plus one until it is a world wherein all can live a real life, a life which we could wish for ourselves as others proudly.

After I've started to walk out from the mind-systems to physical Earth, it is clear for me that the Journey to Life blogging Process of Self-forgiveness and Desteni I Process courses(starting with the DIP LITE) is the foundation for taking self-responsibility for a principled living within which I see/realize/understand that only I can change myself and to explore and share unconditionally what that really means.

Thus I share all my realizations, insights, mistakes, solutions, changes to ensure that I live the principles what I talk, I take responsibility for all who I am, who we are and what we are going to manifest as the future of us all.

[JTL Day 184] 7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness

Continuing with my shared declaration of principle:

http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/05/jtl-day-182-desteni-of-living-my.html

7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

I start with describing my typical daily activities when I am so to speak 'with myself'/'alone'.
I take a shower, I diswash, I take a bath, I walk on street, I travel with subway among many-many people, I work at my desk in the office, I go to toilet, I walk out to the store, I do shopping, I stand in a queue, I sit on a tram, I walk up the stairs, I clean the flat, hang out the clothes, I watch a video, I lie down to go to sleep.

I do these almost every day and within these moments it is only on me what it is I participate within my mind. In fact physically it is quite obvious what I want to do, of course I had to learn first with which metro I use to get to work but after some times it can happen quite automatically.

Somehow, somewhere I've defined freedom as being able to think, imagine, daydream about things while I am alone and doing things what are easy/obvious/automated.

And because of that I've literally became the habit of not being really, fully present within these situations.

Somehow, somewhere I've defined not having enough time to distinguish thinking/seeing through things and doing what I usually do alone so then I've came up with the idea of wanting to think/imagine/daydream about things while doing other things, especially when I am alone, or I am among others but what I do can do it even while thinking.

Back to the topic point - I've realized this is the opposite of freedom - in fact I am not present, I am not fully here, I am looping within, I am not pushing myself to express myself to the utmost potential within what I actually do because of a judgment about what I actually do.

So, what is the utmost potential to just 'diswash' all the time without thinking over many things meanwhile when to just wash the dishes is something what even a robot could do?

Within my process I've realized that the whole concept of thinking, as usually we, humans do it - is because of fear, lack of self-trust, lack of real, profound understanding.

Thinking about something can not bring anything new - it is the past evolving but it's always the same.

Also it is a relevant point that when something is not so pleasant to rather think about something cool which then makes me feel good - and in fact not changing reality here, but accepting as it is, leaving it for a moment and the next moment, and so on.

Each day I see the point of thinking would come up within me, when I am alone at home, when I am among strangers in the metro - and thinking about things I am not fully standing as equal as one with.

Within writing, investigating my accepted patterns in my mind and in my behavior - I see/realize/understand that these thinkings are always the same - there are several kind of thinking patterns what I repeat all the time - for the same reasons, every day, constantly.

These points within absolute Self-honesty I find unacceptable and I investigate and expand my practical understanding about what I actually do and what I actually think about and why.

First of all - the energetic state and reactions for thoughts - is like a 'virtual self' feeling which to I've became addicted and the ability to always 'return to that' became automatized, whenever I find physical reality uncomfortable or unpredictable about feeling alright/good or by actually feeling bad/painful to leave that into the mind, even for a moment or for a while.

This is quite a 'dangerous' permission to give because with words and my accepted reactions to words - I can re-define anything - even the meaning of 'comfortable' or 'good' - only remaining in and as my mind, not considering others, reality here.

Also when facing something what I have already defined myself about as 'fallen' and want to prevent - to think about it, to bring up all I know about it, to remember, to re-experience to understand more, to prepare myself for it - or to intensify, repeat or even suppress something what I've defined as preferable/avoidable based on the polarities I participate in the mind.

Even at moments just allowing reactions within the mind coming up randomly by looking at people and automatically judging them, 'nice shoes', 'ugly face', 'interesting scene', 'stinky old hobo', 'sexy body' and for those judgements then coming up another reactions, memories, worries, desires and then imagine about those - while just 'sitting on the bus' with staring eyes.

These are also unacceptable for me - within many years of investigations, research, actual cross-referencing I've came to the realization that when I am empty within my mind, so to speak 'dark', 'embracing', 'undefined', I can be fully here and experience directly - not defining what is here but allowing to be with the moment, not just as an observer, but actual equal and one participant, without experience of separation.

When diswashing, to experience my breath, my hands, the water, seeing the slight movements as I use the sponge, holding the dish, and just allow this moment to be simply here and not judge the diswashing, myself, nothing particular fears/desires are coming up in my mind - I am quite, in peace with myself in this moment and I am here.

When I need to consider about something - a job, a project, when having the concern about forgetting something - not to think about it in each minute within the 'fear' of "Oh I might forget if I do not think about it all the time", not worry of forgetting it - because being constantly busy in my mind with many other things, most of them are automatic, just triggered by experiences - so within that - forgetting, dismissing, being distracted is very possible.

But when I am empty, clear, present - the first point what stands out is that I stop forgetting things: when my mind is empty - I decide to remember something and not being busy, overwhelmed with hundreds of thoughts, going into these tube-like mind-experiences all the time - I can actually remember what I've decided to do.

One can say: I could set up an alarm to remind me - yes - but still - to be always present is such a gift we can give ourselves to, which cannot be really explained, just the whole experience of beingness is more whole, full, aware.

Sitting in metro and be with others - without thinking, just be here, seeing them, not judging, just experience my presence, the whole situation and not judging, yet participating, be completely open and vulnerable in each moment and trusting myself about whatever comes: I act accordingly with full of my beingness.

By walking the process of Self-forgiveness I've noticed these points emerging within me - when I am alone and doing things what I've defined previously as boring, automatic - I can be more and more present within comfortability yet it is not automatic - and further stabilizing my presence and see what points are coming up in my mind - those are the points I work on - as of fear, as of doubt, as of not fully understanding here to the degree of practical solutions.

I write down all and I commit myself to stop participate within the fear that I can not do one thing at a time fully and for that I want to go into my mind instead of remain here and find out actual solutions.

I understand that there are judgements thus perceived separations within my approach which blocks me fully experience what is going on here, because of the tendency of being a mind-person, not trusting my physical expression absolutely, only with the energetic reactions to judgments, opinions to virtually make the experience whole.

My strides become more stable, my presence becomes more consistent, my stability becomes less and less conditional and accumulating something what remains here as myself. This is undeniable now. And for me, as a person who was constantly daydreaming before, if for me it is possible to walk the process of quieting my mind, to let go the constant escapism, then others can walk this process as well.

Because within being present, here, I can become really effective with dealing things in this reality - and that is required for heading on to actual systems what are directing our lives, being responsible for preventing human rights, practical equality to be available for all and it is the first step to be comfortable, quiet and directive with myself to be able to open and use common sense with others, the system.

It may start with past issues coming up, due to the stopping of constant occupation and distraction of thoughts/feelings/emotions/reactions/images - I start to remember what I've decided some time ago, I see how much I give my power away by focusing to parts of my reality and forgetting the whole picture.

I see more clearly that how my mind, the thoughts, reactions, judgements, definitions, rules of my personality programs are constantly busy - even when I see myself as much-more quiet - it can be very surprising to slow down within to the degree to see the slightest judgements - which I've allowed myself to completely accept without question and without the actual understanding of how limiting this is. For that writing regularly assists me to see as much as possible patterns within my mind and actions and always cross-reference, specify and push.

Also I notice quite odd things, for instance at the office I go to the kitchen area for water and I count my steps, it takes 34 steps to get there - and then I walk back and count it again - without problem, without particular 'focus' - just I walk, I am here, it really feels like a superhero ability or similar when I was on drugs - just it is myself, naturally, and I can decide and direct it, in fact becomes my natural expression.

I can not foresee the utmost potential within Self-awareness - hereby I commit myself to walk the process of Self-forgiveness to stop all mind-occupations, but it is obvious that this changing is much more 'myself' that I ever experienced/defined myself to be, so it is common sense and the point of Self-honesty to principle myself within Self-awareness of what I participate in the mind and what I actually do here in reality.

It is also related to the word 'unknown', as literally not knowing myself and what is here - and with my mind trying to figure out and never realizing that the very fact is that I do not yet know myself because only using the mind for knowing, the thinking, the feeling, the reaction, the emotion, the memory, the judgement, the polarity, the desire, the fear - and who I really am and can be is not yet known and I can be only Self-aware if I stop participate in this mind.

I forgive myself that I have not seen/realized/understood the auto-categorizing within myself - thus the becoming polarity from unknown to known and then used thinking/judging/defining to trust memory, judgment, experience instead of Self here.

Unknown redefinition: When I realize I fear from not knowing - I commit myself to trust myself and slow down within and remain physical, present, breathing and make sure I remain undefined as I face and 'deal' and express what I do not know yet - myself and thus I explore myself as practical knowledge here and if required I change.

With Self-forgiveness(this link is a throughout guide for what it actually means and how to apply) I see what I already accepted and allowed by seeing what I actually participate within here by investigating and specifying and questioning further until it is clear, it is known, no thought is required, no reaction would apparently 'give' but it would 'distract' from here - then I can be fully here and actually for the first time be aware of what I do, what is here.

So, instead of approaching the unknown with emotion, I OWN it - and then make the unknown KNOWN by doing research / investigation - which is the Process of Self-forgiveness.

This is the point what I bring up about the point of Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others.

[JTL Day 182] The Desteni of Living - My Declaration of Principle

Hereby I declare these points as commitment, this is who I am and this is what I stand for:

1. Realising and living my utmost potential

2. Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4. Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realising I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6. Realising that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7. Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8. With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as you would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9. Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honour and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

11. No one can save you, save yourself – the realisation that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12. Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realise I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realisation that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13. Honouring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14. Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15. Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honour, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16. Realising that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17. I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my living actions, become a living example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realise how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18. I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this living world.

19. Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realising it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20. Realising that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honour, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21. We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realise this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22. The realisation that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23. The realisation that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

[JTL 177] Validation: priority vs entertainment

This can come up at weekends when I have two days for doing things I want and there are so many things I could do and in fact I want to do a lot and this overwhelming experience can take the edge of my clinical decision making of what is really priority and should do with the full of my beingness.

This overwhelming experience is in fact worry and fear of not having enough time which then changes my attitude, presence and the way I feel and thus express myself and based on that there is still a tendency to accumulate it into a specific type of frustration which triggers a typical self-accepted response of the least practical yet still self-defined automatic behavior of self-stimulation.

What I experience is a layer of worry and frustration which triggers the need of being stimulated - there were many kind of things I used to stimulate myself with - some were quite self-dishonest and self-abusive: simply delusional for instance obsession to sex, porn, alcohol, drugs, danger, adrenaline, even crime in order to intensify enough the mind I've allowed myself to exist within and as to equate the already manifested negative experiences with what I've defined as positive, interesting, adventurous, good, fascinating and then riding these extreme amount of energetic experiences and by that defining myself to be alive and feel unique and special and just flying through reality.

Well that type of stimulation is over, I am sober, quite stable and in terms of self-abuse I am manifesting a self-agreement with my physical presence, human body to establish a practical, liveable unification within not accepting anything self-abusive, self-dishonesty so facing the living of a change which is not always obvious so in this case the layers of belief systems are unfolding one after one and it is not just about self-realization as "AHA, I SEE" as it is the tip of the iceberg, the beginning of the physical work of the real-time change who I am in each breath within consistency as the constant awareness of self-direction of change within and as the very decision of practical transcending the points of energetic addictions.

Within that I am realizing that the very reasons I've stuck myself for mind-altering substances for a while to intensify my experiences(alcohol then drugs mostly) was to hide from the already manifested creation of who I really am and thus until I did not stop the consuming of these substances I did not even have the chance to see why I really used these, hiding and trying to escape from what exact starting points within myself, the very manifested energetic experiences I've used as myself as personality about how and why I've created myself this way and remaining so - as long as I've kept alive these characters within myself with the mind-altering sessions - I've remained within the same cycles.

It required absolute Self-honesty to realize that for instance even when smoking weed all the time - and inducing apparently more and more new cool reactions within myself - it was all the same - from it's starting point - inducing energetic states which initiated from the same: the already manifested issues within myself what I've covered up with this kind of stimulation.
And when stopped the weed - the patterns came up and the judgements, reactions, thoughts - that was the same always - as the very same personality 'made me smoke' always and they very same personality was boosted always with it - and when I've decided to explore what is beyond these patterns I've realized this is sooooooooo limited, so much the same and in fact the very opposite of the idea of freedom so then with Self-honesty, the stopping was simply common sense.
There is this saying that "You do not truly know someone until you fight them" - and I'd change that:

You do not truly know yourself until you stop yourself.

Because to stop who you are - you have to know yourself - and if something you can't stop - it's common sense: it is not self here - as you should be able to stop yourself, that is why called 'yourself', right?

Sunette wrote this article once:

• STOP! – and discover yourself

and it is extremely supporting to see one's mind and to what extent we give permission to our mind to influence, separate, stimulate who we are within starting point, perception, the words we use and from that what to act out:

You sit down and you say "I stop all of me"  - for a moment, giving the time and situation to not need to care with the world, just for half an hour and just sit and say "I stop all myself, I stop here and remain just be here".
And then from that moment - whatever moves within me - energies, thoughts, images, desires, worries - it is not self here - as self all self can stop is directing to stop for the moment - so then with this simple act we can see the extent how much we accepted and allowed to give permission to the mind to move automatically to influence, stimulate, direct, move ME here.

So for being able to question ourselves we stop for a moment and this requires to know who we really are - otherwise the attempt to stop self will not be absolute and by that it is possible to see what is really here. And to always use energetic experiences to influence, move me without understanding me - it is just like oil to fire - everything intensifies and within the experience of intensity then that is in the focus, not it's origin, not reality as self here.

Meaning that one does not know oneself until stopping all alcohol, weed, crystal, acid whatever is reasonable to help through oneself within one's life and experiences.

The very fabric of our beingness is the physically manifested dependency on the act of relying to fear, separation, judgement and excuse and justification, hope to avoid direct confrontation of what is really happening in reality, what it is what we exactly accept and allow within our world today in each moment thus realizing the responsibility for what creation we are busy participating within as self here.

For my part within this - is to realize that the substitution for all these energetic addictions when there is any worry, frustration is this self-stimulation which is currently I am accepting sometimes as the need and justification for entertainment.

Specifically meaning when I have many things to do - if I am not practical, if I am not prioritizing, if I am not considering everything here - and react, judge and lost in a reaction to any detail - a part of myself which I do not yet fully know - I allow friction, reaction within me which accumulates energetic reactions ending up fueling certain aspects of personalities automatically by giving permission to act out the character of 'relaxing, chilling, being entertained' and within that to react with an other set of reactions to re-gain the apparent equilibrium in my mind to deal with the frustration meanwhile not realizing that this is just a time loop and not the solution.

So to approach this practically I apply Self-forgiveness to see what are behind these patterns and how to correct myself within self-honesty to prevent further frictions to manifest what takes my attention from facts here to be able to really deal with things I am committed to such as be part of the solution for self-realization and for humanity as a whole wherein everyone can live within dignity and not need to fear from left behind and starve to death. Simple.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to really-really prioritize my time because of the fear of not having time for things what are obviously not priority yet fearing to let go or not wanting or not being able to let go for the sake of priority because of the worry of missing out or fear of regret because of not doing it and not engaging into self-intimacy specifically within these points and moments because then I would really see that all attachments I am holding onto and react to are of the past, not here, not real, only the fear-of change, fear of loss I give into because the fact that still participating within self-doubt, fear of facing and living who I really am and trying to gain time and hope meanwhile in fact manifesting the very point I fear from which is losing time and opportunity and in fact who I really can be without even really exploring who I could be.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to trust myself unconditionally and realizing that I've defined myself wanting to do all things I ever could do and because of fear of making the decision what I really want to do and that is because fear of mistake so still wanting to remain within the original idea of "I could do anything, whatever I'd choose" and fearing from losing that because that gives a certain reaction of apparent "freedom" which I in fact use to equalize the already self-accepted judgements and relationship I've defined myself to be in this world as "being powerless slave" so then always wanting to remain within the point of "absolute freedom without doing something yet being sort of "drunk" of the idea of "I could do anything" because fearing from not being able to do anything.

And within that I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to really decide and commit myself to do one thing with absolute full of my beingness within the fear of loss of the idea of self-defined idea of freedom and also the fear of failure, fear of mistake and thus defining myself based on the mistakes I would make and then accepting myself to define myself according to experiences what I judge, defining myself who I am according to the self-definition, judgement, thinking mechanism and not realizing that the thoughts I accept and allow come up and possess me are not myself as life directly here but as the manifested reflection of what I accept and allow myself to be within the starting point of separation, fear thus the solution is to stop these self-definitions, stop the reaction to these thoughts, find practical ways to prevent myself reacting to these thoughts and embrace these aspects of myself and stop and remain stopped and explore what I can be and become beyond these reactions.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that the solution is to stop acting upon frustration and stop playing along with that character of stimulating myself with entertainment and when I am able to stop, I can apply prioritizing effectively.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to dig deeper within myself beyond the energy of frustration of not having enough time and realizing what it is really I fear from specifically in the situation of having a weekend and what to do which is the best for me any my reality and not realizing that I am not seeing directly here and my starting point of self-doubt because of defining myself within experience, within fear of loss, within fear of letting go the idea of freedom and not questioning it and by that not deliberately not wanting to realize that the self-created idea of freedom is in fact self-limitation.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that how things really work in real time and space and by that being able to plan and do through things I direct myself to and also being that an uncertainty on how to practically approach something getting done because being lost in the self-defined reactions of experiences of worry of not being able to get it done and not realizing that the solution is accumulate self-directed steps one by one within stability meanwhile focusing on preventing frustration from reaction to limitations and also seeing what limitation I experience is self-perceived and which is physical reality and by that being able to work with facts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from letting go the idea of freedom of I can do anything without realizing that it is not real freedom, only within my mind - and when trying to live that perceived freedom I can really see how it is exactly self-limitation and fearing from realizing it I'd rather allow myself to be frustrated by fear of failure, fear of loss of freedom by actually start doing it and realizing what really would mean to do it and focusing to the experience of worry and frustration and it's band aiding with another layer of experiences, rather than questioning it and myself and how to stop and prevent that happening and really start exploring within physical self-expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within entertainment and self-stimulation with things what I react to with intensity, reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions are real and good and positive and not realizing that it is for an other layer of mind to equate, stimulate and the very reason and giving into entertainment and the idea of entertainment is because of that point.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that even with the word entertainment I've formed a relationship what I've defined as price, gift, result and defining it as then I can feel myself good and not realizing it is a polarity and by that whatever I do which is not entertaining would mean it can not be cool therefore determining my experiences regarding to the duality of entertainment or not entertainment and by that automatically creating this friction within of negative and positive and defining it as who I am without questioning the relationships I've allowed with words defining what is entertainment, who I am in relation to entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in relation to entertainment and defining it as not cool and blaming myself for doing it and not realizing that if I focus to entertainment only and because of escaping a state of mind into it becomes a problem, not focusing on solution and not being able to direct myself effectively, according to priorities to engage entertainment within self-honesty, without friction, without frustration.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within memories of entertainment there is already an association to frustration of possibly doing it out of frustration even when not and also fearing from remaining within entertainment if enjoying it too much because defining it as overcoming frustration and if fully enjoying it then fearing from wanting to be entertained constantly and never considering self-direction, self-honesty, self-will to prioritize and support and actually enjoy myself regardless of the relationships to specific words such as priority, entertainment, frustration, enjoyment and conditioning myself to think that if I enjoy myself there should be frustration and if I do priority then it should not be enjoyment instead of equalizing, unificating myself in practical real time and space considering facts and letting go fictions one by one by applying self-honesty and focus to what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate prioritizing things to do based on frustration and entertainment instead of considering what is the best for me and all within absolute self-honesty and if not being able to consider what would mean this in practical action then directing myself to investigate, see/realize/understand and investigate, decide and will myself doing what I can within self-expression.

I realize that I can enjoy priorities what are in fact myself thus I can enjoy myself and the practical question I can ask is that what is the reason I am not enjoying myself and using common sense to see when enjoyment is possible or even relevant and not trying to define myself or refer myself according to enjoyment thus manifesting another polarity and duality and friction and separation within me by defining who I am myself according to enjoyment with superimposed ideas and opinions instead of trusting myself here and expressing within practically scheduling, using the time effectively and within self-honesty.

A blog post from Creation's Journey to Life on TV, entertainment, fear, solution:

• http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-105-turn-on-television.html

To walk through self-definitions, fear, limitations, mind-polarities, check out Desteni I Process Online Courses:

• http://desteniiprocess.com