[JTL Day 218] Sounding Self-forgiveness part 2

I am further exploring the Sounding Self-forgiveness from the previous post:

• [JTL Day 217] Sounding Self-forgiveness part 1

I see expansion - the forced forgetfulness excuse is gone, that is a make belief that I can't remember what I said, especially if I said more and more sentences.

I am present, I walk through the word constructs within my mind and I detach from energetic automatic programming with Sounding Self-forgiveness.

There is still sometimes an urge to quicken up, this has been a massive construct in my mind, due to the extreme amount of psychedelic drugs I've pushed through my system in the starting point of energy and light delusion, but it's decomposing as well.

Well, the point is that I've also avoided to talk and share about quite some amount of topics which I am becoming aware of, mostly because I first cross-reference all I experience to prevent further self-deception, which I've accepted and allowed previously within the spiritual deceptive agendas I've also participated within.

By walking the Desteni I Process courses during the last couple of years - there is no doubt it is supporting me within the substantiating of self-presence, self-trust and self-direction.

Whole points, what previously I've judged in my life as 'my greatest challenges' are becoming daily walk to face and re-align with practical change if I see self-dishonesty in my starting point-action, such as partnership, fear of not being good enough and fear of mistakes.

The process is just started, which is humble, because the recognition of the same LIFE is within all, equally and if one is not acting according to that, there is no need any more explanation that the one is still walking personal process from pre-programmed mind consciousness system to all-life-aware awareness self-expression.

Sounding Self-forgiveness is immediate, direct, stabilizing and physical expression if it's self-honest.

So the points I've been realized about it recently are:

• if the words would want to come out faster than I can say the words aloud, sounding alright, then it is indicating there is a rush coming from my mind, which means I direct myself to slow down, there can be an unrealistic perception, conviction making me believe that I need to rush or it's better or it's like pouring a bucket out - which is then not self-direction, so I stop, I breathe and I express word by word as myself and within those words I live them literally as myself, as I really give for myself a new understanding, a new chance, a new direction.

• if there is a perception that after a Self-forgiveness point/sentence/expression/understanding/exploration, there is another coming up, like I forgive myself for accepting myself to fear and then in the next moment I see this fear closer, so I see that it is common sense to continue with that I forgive myself for accepting myself to fear from mistakes and then I open up what kind of mistakes, why fearing from specific mistakes, until I am not aware of all it's parts - I do not have to go through the reactions, thoughts, word constructs and it's energy reactions to 'feel' it - I forgive myself until I am becoming 'aware' of it - it's like in the Matrix movie: Don't think you are - Know you are. Because if I know myself, I do not need to think anymore, I MOVE, I ACT, I LIVE, I EXPRESS.. And if it's not constant, consistent, then I apply Self-forgiveness to KNOW SELF HERE first. This is when going down the rabbit hole - no matter how deep it is - I keep digging until I see everything - from where this 'fear' started within and as me. And the tendency to give up, to stop digging until I am aware of all aspects can arise. So it is also a self-reflection point to see - until when I apply Self-forgiveness. Within Self-honesty there can be learned to be aware of it - is there any layer, is there any reaction/energy/movement still within me which I am not aware of? I am seeing all parts of it to such a degree that I can practically assist and support myself within stopping and changing?

Within Sounding Self-forgiveness allowing myself to not stop within worry of not having enough time, but disciplining myself to stick to absolute specificity the most direct way I can unveil who I have accepted and allowed myself to became.

I remember, when I started to write this blog around 2008, many times I wrote about one-two pages when I've got to the more direct, self-supportive self-honest writing expression - then by days, months, years it can become a skill - there is still sometimes that I sit down writing without specific direction - and I can recognize it - and I can apply specificity and face and walk through points more directly. It's a process, these are skills which are essential for the human being to understand, stop and transcend the normally accepted insanity of constant time-looping within personality programs of self-interest, the delusion of all-power love meanwhile having absolutely no real purpose, principle and integrity in relation to taking responsibility for existence here.

Also it is important to face any reaction/construct justifying why not needing to apply self-forgiveness.

'I do not need to forgive my promiscuity desires, I will just live them out and during that I will let them go'.

If I fear letting go a pattern, it is because there is self-definition, which I fear losing because then I would need to change which I do not want and then by being identified with my mind/thoughts/reactions/resistances - I accept it as self-limitation and even label it as 'this is who I am' and stop questioning it.

There is this delusion that I must live and try everything first to really see that it is not really what I want - not realizing that there is always consequence within physical time-space.

One can walk through any desires- regardless of how tempting or simple, easy they seem - even that within my mind there are things what seem to be more big and important, those perceptions are for manipulate self to be able to label points, things, self-dishonesties as 'small', 'insignificant', but in fact everything always accumulates and from small things build up everything one by one.

It's also about Self-application with Self-forgiveness - if I define that 'I do not apply Self-forgiveness to take responsibility in this moment, but will do it later' - it is an action, a decision, there is consequence and the more I do it the more I literally become this pattern up to a point where I do not even 'need to reason/justify', because I am totally biased by myself.

If I look around in this world, it is the constant acceptance and allowance of small things what accumulated into this total separation from our beingness with energy, being in the substance but not as it, feeling imprisoned in the physical while in fact our prison is the mind, the justification of why shit happens, because of this is how things turned out and not realizing that we are not just part of this creation, but we actually are creation.

With Self-forgiveness we take this responsibility as creator, created and creation as equal and one and word by word we can literally understand re-align our expression to stop the accumulation of acceptance and allowance of self-acceptance, self-limitation, self-delusion.

Sounding Self-forgiveness also has the physical voice, sound - and immediately we can hear if the words are not spoken well, clearly, is there any wavering, uncertainty, difficulty, resistance, energy - then to explore that as well and in the moment apply that further understanding into more specificity and direct change, here in and as the physical.

I will continue further about Sounding Self-forgiveness...

[JTL 125] Art decomposing word by word part 1

Continuing on the decomposition of TV-Movie reaction personality in regards to ART.

Art: beauty, deep, profound, transcendental, meaningful, moving, twisting and shivering

Why I defined to watch Movie, TV to satisfy my need for art based on the word relationships and became automatic within and as myself as the pattern of thoughts, feelings and emotions.

It is time to let go all definitions, boxes, judgments, perceptions, separations, desires fears from all angles: this time TV-Movie-Art.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define TV and Movie as art automatically and defining art as Movie and TV regardless of it's factual content.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define art as something deep, profound, deep, transcendental, moving, twisting and shivering and not realizing that within self-definition I am comparing to something and I am not experiencing it directly but in regards to the point I compare it to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to see movies as artistic perfection and wanting to see something what of each parts has been composed for the viewer and defining it as beautiful, nice, attractive, visualy compelling instead of realizing that anything value I give to it is me - so in fact becoming obsessed with art is becoming obsessed with defining, categorizing, polarizing, judging, comparing.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that every form of expression can be referred as art so the word, meaning of word of art does not mean anything except the personal value people put to it.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that the word art has became money and it is measured by how much it can cash in some forms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the energetic experience of self-judgment projected to films and movies and defining, judging movies, TV-series based on my previously accepted self-definitions and comparing all the definitions, also checking my automatic reaction within me and if I feel that it moves me then it is value and not realizing that it is only something what stimulates my already existing, accepted value system.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within wanting to watch nicely made images, videos, scenes and people, landscapes and all of that - means that I want to feel positive, I want my mind to generate positive energy and by that to activate something such as beauty system and praising how beautiful things can be and not realizing that it is just me how I am programmed to react to that particular imput.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that my relationship with art and with the word art and my memories towards art can influence, direct me today automatically if I let it react, move, stimulate me and I react with thoughts, feelings, emotions: that are not myself directly but the reflection of self-dishonesty of separation of judgment.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the people who made things in this world and currently being promoted as art should be something as important, relevant, extraordinary and meaningful not for themselves and some but for all.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that my strive and devotion towards art is because I've defined myself as not artist type and wanting to experience artistry and when I am not expressing myself within creative application - I define myself automatically as not being artistic therefore wanting to experience something artistic, such as visuals, audiovisuals to have the experience of art is making me react.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within stopping expressing myself I strive towards the words I define myself to be yet not living equal as one therefore a desire I form which through I am separated from the subject of my worded separation and wanting to stop the experience of separation even with the experience of reaction towards the perceived art: because within that perception and my reaction - it feels like I have direct relationship with art - not realizing that it is only perception THROUGH the mind, not direct physical experience undefined, not judged, embraced as equal as one, but separated through thought, backchat, feeling, reaction, memory which are not here physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to art influence, change me in a way I never could myself so hoping that with art I can have beat, a change what I could never step myself but with the feel, reaction to it - through the mind - feeling empowered, energetic and encouraged to change and never realizing that to change I must be here and understand fully from what I want to change and how to practically do it, not just hoping of some art will have an impact on me so strong that it will change me.

When and as I face and see, experience art - I remain here, undefined, breathing in and out naturally without a need of thinking, feeling - I directly allow myself to be just here.

I commit myself to face and stand art as undefined, no judgment, no comparison, no thought, no feeling - simply me here and the art - whatever it would be: film, painting, music, sculpture - I stand, I experience, I remain here, empty, silent, quiet while remain present, clear, calm.

When and as I deal with art - I realize who I am is my starting point, who I am within what I am doing and I realize the greatest art is to act in all moments equally to what is best for all, practically.

[JTL 120] Review, Location: TV Series Mind Patterns part 7

I am walking with the TV Series, Movie influenced Mind series with a review today of where we are now before continuing further:

[JTL 114] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 1

[JTL 115] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 2

[JTL 116] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 3

[JTL 117] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 4

[JTL 118] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 5

[JTL 119] Self-correction: TV Series Mind Patterns part 6

So I was exploring some aspects of self-acceptance in regards to thoughts, feelings, emotions on the point of TV Series, Movies.

Walking through this I am more aware and already see the reaction becoming less 'loud' within towards film - the letting go of identification with energetic experience is a process what takes time - and not the intensity but the consistency is what relevant within absolute dedication.

There is no reason I am doing it from thought perspective - it is just I am doing this as it is obvious how I am becoming more and more stable within myself and the thing I am writing today about is that people think, believe that by this letting go I am less 'sensitive' or 'able to' experience things what people define as positive.
There is noting of that kind - the reason is not even the fear and detachment from the 'negative' experiences - rather than being able to slow down and stop within to a degree as self-realization that becoming aware that both polarities are of the mind - not real and beyond them is reality.
Reality is a word what has been misused so many ways, especially when used in the context of perceptional reality - through the mind each one's reality is different.

That is just a virtual reality - not direct, physical reality - but energetically induced within physical - experienced separated through and as the mind - so the human being is not here - only physically.
The person I think myself to be - I define myself as preferences, likes, dislikes, fears, desires, memories, skills, possessions, obsessions - thoughts, feelings, emotions - that is not physically here - only in the human computer. And without the energy - it is nothing.
And that energy is not direct physical energy but gained through the mind - the energetic experience, the light of the mind, the feelings, emotions, the charge, the light within - that is not who we really are but of consciousness systems manifested in and as human physical body, programmed through words.

That is why to deal with words within awareness, direction, principle is assisting and supporting discipline, presence, stabilization and life-aware self-realization.
As Life is not consciousness, not mind, life is the origin from we separated ourselves through the energy and physical substance but still, who we are: is here.
Walking the words what I forgive - I disengage the reaction what has formed to be almost automatic - and I can choose.

I walk through layers, each destonian walks through their own layers of mind and one by one investigate, forgive, realign and stop and that is the process of birthing ourselves from the physical as life, as equality as oneness.

We see this essence within each being in existence and realize the inevitability of the practical unification so we walk ourselves day by day - what is not yet commonly understood, accepted, but still - it is who we are.

My individual life has been around books, movies, TV series and computer games, drugs, relationships, energy and art - so these words are my personality matrix which through I can walk until I am becoming aware which aspect of me is not Self-honest and I see/realize/understand exactly the pattern and I stop.

And the more I stop - the more I see the greater perspective and to be able to realize which is best for all is a process but from a point it is obvious: equalizing power, resources and energy in and as the physical, the mind, all ways, so then the fear, the surviving, the desire can stop and we simply start living and enjoy Self-expression in a system wherein we are able to ensure not only our greatness but others as well: equally granting the same goods what we enjoy, starting from the basics, as food, shelter, water, education, health care: this is required for each human for a healthy life.

We are the building bricks in the system, it is not to blame, but to realize the practical way to form groups where the principle for all life can be practically measured, ensured and shared.

That is why we propose an Equal Money System - not, because we love so much money, but who we are currently is Mind Consciousness Systems as human energy system driven by thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires and as Global Economy, Monetary System fueled by money, gold, oil, diamonds etc.

When we group all resources and distribute to everyone to live - we give as we would like to receive - and for the first time we could trust the system what we create: that we do not have to fear from tomorrow and as our neighbor will not fear as well, they will not rob me out, they will not go to war - they will enjoy their family, their self-expression, their life.

In the beginning of course there would be some overcomes to face - but still - through time, with proper education we could heal the paranoia, the surviving.

Who cares how many generations it would take if we just can have chance from today? - Is not right to try our best it? I'd rather try to manifest than live a life all time saying 'well, it sucks, but that is who we are'.

So that is why there are ways what are practically working and there are what not.
And walking the Journey to Life for 7-14 years: it works, anyone who walks it - can ensure it within Self-honesty.

Because Applying the Living Self-forgiveness means facing, changing, letting go, stopping and understanding, directing and transcending.

So that is why I walk it that is why I commit myself to write every day to walk through a pattern every day and change myself in a point, day by day walking through - and it is not a work what is hard - it is who I am - so actually it can be enjoyed as Self.

Returning to the topic of Series, Films: There are some categories within Movies, Series what I have defined myself to be 'interested in'.
Such as: Sci-fi, Fantasy, Action, Art, Comedy

These types if I do not experience enough, then I go searching for that and then I can experience my reactions, my strive, my initial personality to reflect back within and as energy.

I am exploring some word-associations what with I react for what is the reason to watch Series, Movies of those kind:

Science Fiction - modern perfect mechanics, machines operated by energy and proven to be great, powerful and modern, futuristic

• Action: power, being powerful, brute force, anger, emotions, fear, loss, bravery, vengeance

• Fantasy: child tales, dragons, magic, wizards, fairies, evil, good, monsters, artifacts, fate

• Art: beauty, deep, profound, transcendental, meaningful, moving, twisting and shivering

• Comedy: humor, life force, laugh, cheer, feelings, romantics

So I will continue decomposing with these words what I am in relationship THROUGH the mind of thoughts, feelings, emotions and not LIVING directly as SELF HERE so therefore I am as starting point responsible for the perceived separation, the strive for dualistic mind of being in and as experience of Consciousness Systems.

I suggest to investigate how human mind operates

Also I suggest to research how our lives are being directed, influenced by Money

And To explore the practical understanding of our economy, our monetary system, educate Self within Common sense

Never too late to start exploring Self-support with the FREE course of Desteni I Process LITE

And read many-many 7 Years to Journey to Life blogs daily here, written by normal individuals who realized the effectiveness of daily writing of Self-forgiveness, Self-correction.

[JTL 43] I have to move

I have to move.

I've decided to move along - to rent an other place - smaller, cheaper. However I did not find the new place yet. Tomorrow maybe will be one available - but not yet sure. I gave myself a week only to pack up and cleanup and move. That probably means that I have to really focus and do it in all my spare time. But where to that is fascinating that I am not yet sure.
I barely have the money required to pay the new one and I want a cool place yet as cheap as possible - that is one uncertainty.

Also at workplace there are more and more signs what I react with another point that I want to leave. Yet not fully decided. There is a perception within me that I have to decide and from that I have to move with full energy until it's done. This means I am still waiting for something. That is the second uncertainty.

Another point came up today that my left pointer(direction) finger started to hurt like hell since some days - about a month ago I've had a double accident at doing football with workmates when my ankle sprained and my left pointer finger was almost broke with an unplanned and unhealty deflection - strained back up quite much but in that time my ankle had much-much more attention as I was barely able to walk for some weeks. So today I went to an X-ray and it seems to be not broken yet it at moments the pain just enormous while using it. So got my attention.

Let this three points to write about today.

First point - move: I've left only a week for myself to find a place, make the contract, pay for it and pack and move my stuff, clean this place out and move along.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not finding a place with my current budget instead of realizing that I can assist and support myself to remain focused within the constant consideration of my financial status.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder about how I am fed up on things instead of considering to use common sense to see what currently I can do and actually do it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the energetic temptation of hope that everything will be alright and as I want without even being aware exactly what I want.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I have a discomfort for moving along and changing without resistance and uncertainty and remain undefined.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the temptation of entertainment while it is obvious that I have many things to do as I've planned to do so anyways.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that this is a default tactic and strategy what I am doing with myself in terms of pressuring myself to the last moment and then when there is no escape and everything seems to fall apart and the deadline is on my shoulder and it is almost literally impossible to do what I want - and by that pressure actually energizing myself to start doing what I must do.

This looks important how could I miss this point since I am - I remember now that I've wrote about this kind of thing before - but it was not this clear.

At university we did this, party until the last moment and then within the pressure doing what we could and many times it was enough and some times it was too late but judging the ratio of success/failure - it was worthy because we could party and entertain the longest time possible.

So that's why I am postponing planning and doing this move because I need the pressure to have the energy from my reaction to it to perform exceptionally.

And within this I've reached the second point - miraculously each point as equal as one is me - "The basic principle is within and as everything what is here as ourselves within Equality and Oneness". But this sentence - until is not in practical action within common sense as the movement of Self-honesty - it is just knowledge and information and as that - pretty useless.

That's why it is imperative the consistent writing as gift to ourselves each day when possible to realize what is here and how to stop the programs as ourselves to explore what means to be really alive without limitation.

So - at work there was a girl who left recently, she was a QA engineer who told at the 'good bye speech' - before the clapping and cake-eating and good bye party that she does not want to stay at a position wherein it is irrelevant that she performs good or not - gets the money and that's all - so she was left. Since then I am realizing that I need pressure to perform efficiently.

And interestingly enough since some weeks I do not have partner in my 'private life'.
There is no pressure on me from outside and it seems like I've always striven for that - with my last partner(for some years) her I had quite some pressure on myself - the temptation to just look another woman was high, especially when we did not have sex regularly - now that's gone - strange need but it's obvious what is it's starting point within me.
So back to pressure from outside - I've accepted the pressure from outside and my ability to adopt to these I've defined as my value.
-but at work there is no huge challenge from bosses - yet I am becoming exhausted within the airless office to do relevant things after office hours
-within partnership - to remain calm with my partner when reacting to her speaking stuff what I could not define not as bullshit is gone - I always had serious issues when she prostrated and prayed and ritualized her mind to buddhas and spoke about love and family and religion as cool stuff and having taboos to speak about and I was suppressing anger towards myself for choosing this kind of girl in the hope that this will change but did not seem and I've judged myself as responsible when experienced her suffer and become nervous and could not walk through the shit and I've also became nervous and from that she was really-really freaked out and then I was screwed and wanted to be alone for a while - so now that's also gone, I am like zen master again in terms of no stress on this seemed to be a huge relief - I am aware of that I've stopped facing an aspect of myself but this was ridiculously insane so no worry.

The biggest challenge at my job currently is to work in the environment what I judge as unhealthy as there is no air and it's hot in the office and that two makes really difficult to use my brain effectively programming business logic for website-making websites and aparently there is nothing what they could do to solve this effectively - but today I've came to the realization that I should consider to switch workplace - however it is convenient to work there - sometimes it is hard and intense but mostly it is cozy - compared to work in a coal mine or at other multinational corporations as abused code-slave - and the money is okay - not very much but not tight either.

At linkedin.com I get offers from headhunters every week multiplied - what I rarely answer to - however I should.

What are the reasons I do not answer:
I had experiences with little Hungarian companies who could not pay properly and I need the money in each month within mathematical precision - and my current employer can do that since 5 years I am working for them within constancy.
I might have to work much more - what would mean being more time in the office and becoming more tired at nights what I've defined as 'my time' - when I can do my desteni process slice and my hobby slice(music, video,film, entertainment).

What are the reasons I should answer and switch job:
-more salary
-more responsibility, more life-people-skills to learn
-more technical skills to learn
-chance to go work abroad - that is much more money and much more challenge
-I always enjoy to learn and perfect more skills and at my work I am quite good within one-two specialized areas but the scene is more broad
-My dream-goal would be to have a part-time/full time media-related job like producing something media what I enjoy: documentary, animation, film, video clip - and it's even possible that I can re-locate within the current company towards that anyways

There was a plan that I relocate to London wherein I have a friend who can assist to find my place and meanwhile stay at his - however he became unsure as well about being there is cool and myself as well while I had my partner here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself effectively within consideration of physical and financial resources unconditionally within common sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move only when there is a pressure from outside as forces what I am bound to stand up to otherwise pain and suffering I experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself to move effectively within self-expression only when I see that there is an immediate pressure and inconvenience within what I am being sucked into and occupied by entirely.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I can not really see more far than my troubles are manifested around me currently because beyond my troubles I can do my entertainment therefore I never really dared to see beyond.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my needs and desires within myself by constantly being occupied with entertainment within feelings what I want to experience and only moving when inconvenience, pain and suffering I experience and only until when I can stop that to continue my interest of doing my entertainment what is never defined directly as entertainment however when seeing it within common sense it actually is.

Today I even had some sort of shame - for being lost for so long years and doing nothing relevant and real - and that was also when a doubt came about leaving my partner with relation to my intense left pointing finger pain since a month.

But today even I had the thought, that I'd rather let my finger rot down instead of continue that relationship as without it I am 100 times less stressful - or at least it has not only one 'long, curly haired beauty' surface in my life.

That was an interesting thinking pattern also.

As I had an other thinking thread that if she so much made me nervous - what in fact meant that I've made myself nervous about points projected to her within myself - so then why I did not forgive those points instead of leaving her?


I mostly always offered her that I am open for REAL agreement, but she wanted only one agreement term: 'let be in peace and kind and do stuff what we think that is good for the other' and for me it was not specific and practical enough, especially after years of this is not working and never lived together and regardless of all madness we manifested and then she concluded that I do not love her, that's why I am mad at her and can't accept her as she is and then I said alright so then and that's all.

So I'd rather not rebound: this is clear.

With regards to the pain for my finger - it is direction - not structural direction but self-expression-direction - if (t)here is any.

I can not really close my left hand into fist now - but doctor said I should push that and practice within hot water - however for me in this moment seems like nonsense as what comes up first is to make it rest and not use it anyway - but he told me specifically that against that I must move into the pain slowly and by that it might heal.

So then my direction will be towards points what I've defined and in fact already manifested as inconvenient and even painful - as consequences - but if that is required - my direction should not be stopped even with some pain either.

As my personality has formed mostly by avoiding painful/bad/negative  physical/real and mind:imagined:emotional experiences - and moving towards pleasured/good/positive physical/body experiences and mind:imagined:feelings - to stop it is inevitable.

The most imminent reaction towards these what I've wrote is the fear from failure - what if I'm wrong - what if I make mistake and what if I will be judged?

After all these things what I want to do is go out the city and just do things what I am sure makes me more relaxed and focus to body how it functions and amalgamate - go to nature, play music, cook food, sleep outside, dance at party and let everything go and let the stress beyond - without fear of being judged as irresponsible and selfish - however I am already quite sure that I will not stick to this as 'partyboy' and just remain within the honey-trap of entertainment and self-interest - but somehow within pushing myself and not giving rest and letting things go since quite some time - I've accumulated this reasoning for go out and have fun - just enjoy myself without anything serious - the world will wait for me - and then I think that the abuse and immense shit in global scale just compounds while I am going to music festival or wild-camping in the forest does not seem right - however I must consider myself as some more decades-long expression process so then I can get along with just having fun for some days.

And with my hi-tech gadgets - even in the farest forest-swamp I can do blog or vlog even daily so then I am sure there will be plenty of time for self-correction anyways.
So that's it for today. I will continue with Self-forgiveness to see where I deceive myself within these words and why and to forgive that too and continuing with Self-correction.




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[JTL 20] QUORA: Answer: Why I am one Vote For an Equal Money System

My answer on Quora why 

• I am One Vote for an Equal Money System;
• Why I walk Desteni I Process

Alright, here I share my personal perspective by walking these questions explaining why I am One Vote for an Equal Money System
(this is going to be an answer what Quorans define as 'long', if you want a short answer from me: just because I can and because:

• Give unto others as you would like to receive.
• I'd rather try and do things first than defning it especially this paradigm what never really got a real chance with mathematical perfection within the joke of our so called civilization; so:

Would you say you grew up in a lower-class, middle-class, or upper-class environment?

I've  grown up in a tiny village in Hungary where my family was poor, my  mother worked her ass off in a diary sweatshop and my father was tractor  driver in a centralized collective farm within so called communism.
As  a kid I've watched the family adults go eye for an eye abusing each  other around in the game of bouncing back and forth between  irresponsible(drunk, fight, jail) entertainment and surviving, and us,  kids, sometimes we had to work for instance in garden all day or  scavenging on the cornfields, butchering, feeding or my mother took me  and my sister to the dairy factory standing at the production line for  all day at weekends and the main motivator for my education was my  mother constantly saying that 'You will end up in a similar factory  sweatshop just like I do where I've broken physically and mentally - if  you do not become outstanding within education!'

Did you attend college? Did you have to work your way through? Did your parents or a scholarship pay for some or all of it?
My  mother was paying for my living and and for education I did not have to  pay; the 'communism regime' was already 'over' and smoothly started to  become the privatized government(towards in fact a capitalized corporate  totalitarianism what we can observe today) I even got some dozens of  bucks monthly for up-keeping (because of my social status: mother in  factory, father already died in a drunk accident but he was already off from practical reality by so referred phenomena as alcoholism) yet I really had to  spare my coins to have healthy food sometimes.

So  I was pushed towards becoming qualified as much as I could - first as  bookkeeper and programmer in a specialized high school and after that  I've finished a Bachelor of Science on Programming Mathematics in  University of Debrecen and all I've known about my profession in  practice was what I learned by myself in summer scholarship and within  self-organized groups around the college. My interest was about  programming itself, I always had ability to speak on the machine's language, and I enjoyed to learn artificial intelligence, fuzzy logic and to prepare myself be practical  in the economic system, and for that I've chosen to master  Java&Linux solutions for scientific and corporate($$$!) R&D with edgy  buzzword technologies so within that I've specialized and eventually  finished in 2001.

Being  a pupil did not mean I did not work meanwhile - I had different kind of  occupations to cover my expenses just to give some perspective: having  glimpses of glamorous time at a mineral water bottling factory  production line, for a while I was a car-particle ordering-software  specialist with my own driver to move me around to install and modify  the systems in the county for a local company but these did pay really  the minimum they just could, so I kept focusing on learning and  practicing programming and mathematics skills(beyond screwing myself  with chasing butterflies in my stomach referred as 'love' between two  bloody wild parties at the college).

After  finishing the university I already had no problem finding a decent  programmer job what I've picked up in the biggest Hungarian business  magazine and maybe I was lucky, but I had quite amount of salary  immediately right after getting my diploma.
It  was very weird mind-state: I was able to just go out and buy any food I  wanted to, that seemed like 'freedom' for the first time.

What kind of work have you done?
I  am working currently at an international entertainment/media company as  software engineer for developing internal business process driven  website-development workflow-management systems.

I've  tried many different works and lot's of times I've lost my interest to  be a programmer corporate slave so I've left the country and my  workplaces several times and learned other skills what I enjoyed  extensively: arts and music, traveling and different common eastern and  western mind-trick techniques in order to become a more unified man who  can grasp direct power over himself and his existence.

I've  read an extensive amount of fantasy and sci-fi and 'ancient  scriptures', teachings wherein everything seemed possible and I was  really frustrated because very little I was able to discover from those  on this Earth yet everyone always seemed being obsessed with these  things - divine knowledge, angels&demons, magic and great powers,  space-technology etc what until I've found Desteni, I never really  stopped searching, investigating, looking for. I've extensively  participated within  psychedelics and Buddhism for a while and that  seemed really supporting me until the point of facing the decision of  letting all go and start Living really or I just recklessly die  physically because once one is really putting his/her life on these in all ways - these will always fail. So in 2008
I've found the  Desteni message on Youtube because no matter how much I've tried different starting  points and practicalities - I've never really stopped searching and  looking for a new paradigm.

At  Desteni I've found my first REAL education and the re-alignment as  Life-interest from Self-interest takes time and courage but this is who I  am, this is what I stand for, even when at times I am apparently losing  the big picture, I must walk through all my self-created delusions,  manifested consequences.

So this finding out the truth, the real and eternal life-changing truth of myself was always my work regardless of how I've seemed, but as long as I was looking for the answer outside of myself - I could not find me - and at Desteni the answer was given, more practically: the answer is always here as myself but I must develop Self-intimacy, Self-honesty, I must explore Self-forgiveness to change and let go the self-accepted limitations what I was not even aware of.

I've  tried quite a lot of kind of works, varied from basking on street with  music and juggling to working on fields or being inventory specialist at  establishment-related industries such as airport, justice-department or  even working in art shop, surveying, traveling around, studying  alternative communities and lifestyles; being stage-technician or  photographer, amateur cinematographer, just to mention some...

However  without starting my own business in the system I always ended up  working as software engineer for the big sharks as that was(and still  is) the best "spent time on job"/"getting money for it" ratio.


Have you been involved in starting or managing a business?
Business of Self-perfection with Desteni I Process

So by my own investigation and Self-honest writing (some shared here at The unification of man )  and that entails Desteni - Group of people exploring Equality & Oneness principles and Equal Money System and walking the course at http://Desteniiprocess.com I've found that within spiritual or individualist memes I can not trust  as these are always excluding something what is really here as in fact  Self on Earth and a real principle for the Unification of Man - nothing  in existence should be excluded within absolute Self-honesty - it must  be common sense and always as simple as 1+1=2 towards everything and  everyone just like the Desteni Principle is:

-Equality  and Oneness in all ways I am always equal and one with and what I am  facing, experiencing, desiring for, fearing from etc
-Investigate all things and keep what is best for all
-Be  self-honest and forgive yourself what you have accepted and allowed to  manifest to become aware of your responsibilities and manifested  consequences and dare yourself to stop the layers of self-definitions  and change and explore practical solutions for self and for all as equal  as one as Life within and as the physical.

So  it is obvious that we, as humanity are is severe inequality in terms of physical(required) support for instance and those  who has no money can not even have the opportunity to participate within  the 'goods' of democracy - yet we are all accepting and allowing this  capitalistic system wherein the value is in money, gold, profit and  entertainment what is apparently of free choice and human right but this  is always only promoted and protected by the ones who already have  healthy food, water, shelter, health care and basic education.

Because  without that: one is striving towards surviving as there is no  unconditionally Life-support - a some sort of Maslow's hierarchy of  needs - just don't drink and eat for a week and you can have a free  choice about let's talk about your love connection karma light or let's  drink water and eat something healthy. That's simple.

After  visiting some extremely severed, exploited and poor countries around  the globe, I've realized that if I consider myself as Life, I must stand  up as responsible for those who cannot for themselves because of their  financial status especially for those children who will be born because  by the lack of money they face extreme neglect and have no choice but  fighting and surviving with no rules but what others already keep busy  accepting and allowing without real awareness and that is certainly not  something what one would want for themselves or for their 'own' children  - pre-programming, mass-manipulation and aggressive corporate  brainwashing and in fact we are the building blocks of a system what  apparently promotes freedom what is only available by money, what is  being accumulated at peak points by exploiting the energy of those who  are surviving because have no choice if wanting to stay alive.

As  I've mentioned: I've grown up in so called the boogeyman for the west:  communism - it is the same as current capitalism but with less corporate  aggression and more strong government and within communism 'All animals  are equals but there are some who are more equals.' - just the same as  all others - but Equal Money is not about communism, it is:

• Be excellent to each another.
• Give unto others as you would like to receive.
• "love thy neighbor as thyself"

This  is the eye of the needle - who don't get this - doesn't deserve the  power of equals because will abuse it as others without awareness of responsibility. And isn't the best compassion is prevention?

That's  why practical equality within the economic system (eco no me)- that's why an equal amount of money for all newborn  until we can heal psychologically the generations what are hypnotized by  the competition for surviving through money within a literally  cannibalistic system. And THEN we will see if money still required but  first things first.

As  the current system is not equality within mathematical perfection - as  the matter of fact, we can create perfect machines, computers, software,  weapon systems with math and science but apparently not within the  principle of "give and thou shalt receive"/"love thy neighbor as  thyself" - so at least we should TRY first to perfect the idea of LOVE  in and AS the Physical as well by mathematical perfection because real  compassion is prevention and REAL love should start with feeding  everyone's children without the fear of 'I will be no more special and  would lose that what I apparently own.' What is fear of change, fear of  loss, fear of taking responsibility for what is already here.

No  one should really fear from Equal Money except the multi-billionaries  who are lost in mind-oblivion. And even they shouldn't - they might lose  some numbers within their mind but within mathematically perfected  equality no one should - and and no one will be left behind. 

It  is obvious that by rebelling the current system only the corporations will grow as the  government will support them to suppress the rebel-lions more and more  with stronger and smarter countermeasures in order to keep the system  alive, not the actual living beings participating within it.

Within the current democratic system there is a simple and open way to change everything quite effectively without any abuse:

The One man = One Vote act as 1+1=2 simple mathematical equation.

So  I support, promote Equal Money System and I'd rather walk my lifetime  by at least 'trying to manifest it' before judging it because how could  we already know it's bullshit if we never even tried?

How  ever we keep coming up with ridiculous excuses of self-interest until  we do have money, we do have food, shelter, education, health care,  entertainment - and when one has some tragedy around - then would change  - then would feel it is not fair - but in fact this is what we allow in  a daily basis all around the planet just like playing the mind-game of  'I am not responsible', 'I cannot do anything' - yet with Equal Money  one can really love their own family, their own neighbor and in fact all  fellow human beings simply by distributing the 'goodies' within a  mathematically provable perfectly equalized Life-support system.

So  Desteni I Process is a 'birthing tank' for being educated and  educating others equally about these principles and re-align our  starting point with all life equally as the animals, as nature, as  humanity, as the planet etc and empowering ourselves here within the  current system as Self-direction, Self-will, Self-honesty, the ability  to change by principle of life as well at the same time and nurturing  ourselves and each other with a system (within the current system) what  indeed seems to be the same as the other multilevel marketing schemes -  however there are SERIOUS limitations to make sure one can not really  grow over others but limiting  the number of recruits: "You can recruit a maximum number of 10 people that choose to be Agents.",  because the product is education with real care and one can not really  care to support with this kind of education very much people because it  takes quite an effort - so if one is supporting more in the system then  receives more and can make an income for living - and the money is NOT  going towards some greedy anonymous-role-playing 'hiding in the dark'  directive board billionaires but to all other 'normal foes' who are  taking the necessary steps to educate others just like they've received  the same 'equality' education and as it takes investment, time and  energy one can receive back equally the same investment even multiplied  when supporting multiple ones but the system has the common sense limitation to not support greed only physical practicality.

So for long term that is my business but first I am walking through the course by myself.

(Is this already can be defined as 'promoting my multi-level marketing'? I am not sure - I am not making any profit from it, as I am currently only a 'client' as student but if so, then do as your Quora principles required you to do so :)

And giving an other topic here by myself here as question and answer at the same time as equal as one because it can broad this perspective quite in place:

Perfection

Let us game for a moment:

The word  "perfection" derives from the Latin "perfectio", and "perfect" — from  "perfectus." These expressions in turn come from "perficio" — "to  finish", "to bring to an end." "Perfectio(n)" thus literally means "a  finishing", and "perfect(us)" — "finished", much as in grammatical  parlance ("perfect").

or

To Aristotle, "perfect" meant "complete" ("nothing to add or subtract").

Let's see our manifested perfection a bit more practically:

For instance a B2 stealth bomber costs around $2.1 billion.

I  must say, in it's financial budget(limitation), B2 must be perfect within what it's purpose: bombing the shit out of the given locations  within perfection.

There  are almost perfect computer games or graphics cards(for instance the  currently latest video card called Titan containing 7.1 Billion!  transistors to render stunning 3D graphics), banking/transactional/stock etc manifestations within the current system  what are still evolving but only for and by: money within the interest of  some only.

There  are many human-made perfect systems within the current capitalistic  system yet we still delude ourselves that the life-support system itself can not be  perfectly best for all - I can not accept it and never will!

Also if we would just write down all our observations objectively about the current human system how it works and why it would be obvious: it is perfect within enslavement and limitation and the right to accept abuse!

So  I challenge all 'highly' educated foes all around the globe that if we  can manifest perfect systems within the interest of profit - then at  least we should REALLY PHYSICALLY TRY to investigate within Common Sense  what would mean and require and really entail to manifest perfection  regarding to the Principle as Life within the interest of All.

The last thing I am sharing here is also coming from Desteni education as a new paradigm: (an audio by Bernard Poolman on yt who is not special of course just an other really dedicated(started long ago) 'equality for all' foe enjoying being a spokesman currently - (baker is baking, speaker is speaking)):

Self-Perfection

So that's why I am One Vote for an Equal Money System and that's where I stand firmly in and as existence unconditionally  because we must stand up for all what is here to entail what really  means to be responsible and be able to manifest what is really best for  all - because that entails me too equally.

Alright, it's quite a long article but I've checked out that apparently it is quite alright if one answers on a 'bigger canvas' - so I took my time and here now it is clear who I am and where came from and what I stand for.

Thank you very much for this opportunity to share myself here extensively, the English I use is not my 'first language' so that's why I use the words that simply and making some grammar mistakes but I am sure the message is clear.

Enjoy breath and be excellent to all each other!

This is in fact a step within Journey to Life