Sunday, August 17, 2014

[JTL 198] Transcendence - the movie and beyond part 2

Continuing on decomposing the word Transcendence:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/think/believe/imagine that the word and action of transcendence is about leaving behind what is here, a sort of escape, a disregard, a liberation from what was before and never ever actually seen/realized/investigated/embraced in fact what exactly it is I want to let go and then figure it out how practically do it, simply, directly here, breath by breath within consistency until it's done and within that not questioning what means to be done and thus revealing that I do not know what I really want, how exactly I want it and in fact why I want it specifically and thus not be aware of the details to the utmost specificity, unable to manifest it as real transcendence here as myself in my reality as equal as one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe/think/define that transcendence requires meditation, an attainment, an ascension, a path to walk instead of realizing that all I can transcend is what I can understand/let go/change in one breath, breath by breath, always one at a time, here in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine/think/believe that I can be liberated from the responsibilities, the manifested consequences I caused because believing that would be real freedom and to transcend my limitations would mean to be free of consequence, to be free of responsibility and not realizing that if I separate myself from what I am responsible for then I am not transcending and within that I forgive myself that I have not realized that real transcendence mean to step beyond the duality of the mind, the subject, the object, the separation within friction and realize that I am always equal and one with and as all what is here and thus there is no escape, there is no beginning and there is no end, I am here as responsible and act like that or I am not here and I am not taking responsibility which simply manifest consequences for the future wherein I will actually and eventually take responsibility and thus realizing that with time I actually escape from myself and it is only myself with and as who I block transcendence with the fear of responsibility, fear of change.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I have to walk alone, lonely, by myself in this world in order to really and truly transcend because any help from outside would mean I am dependent, I am stimulated and thus whatever I would 'reach' - that would be taken away and by that fear defining effectiveness and transcendence as being alone and not realizing that it is not about me, and if I consider 'my transcendence' then it is not real, it is only a perception and also not realizing that the pattern of 'whatever I reach' is a perception of attainment/ascension/enlightenment, a self-accepted projection within time and space and thus not directly self here change/transcend but place oneself into a process to walk with energy and thus not realizing that I am here in each moment the responsible and the directive principle always and whatever I actually do is the fact of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to transcend instead of simply transcend and become obsessed with the word and the meanings/definitions/reactions/associations to the word transcend and not realizing that it is a word and whatever I define it to be that I can live but a release, a forgiveness, a re-definition within principled living is the first step to be able to LIVE the word transcend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe and define that to transcend means to transcend the body/the physical/this world and not realizing that the mind within I am enslaved by my self-creation just not being aware of it allows me to remain limited, desensitized, powerless to really let go and change thus transcend from self-limitation to self-freedom as from consciousness to awareness of who I am and what is here and what is required to let go/change completely and finding practical ways to be the living example of stopping participating in the mind and assist and support myself and others within walking through the same one by one as the accumulation until all stand here unified within the realization of 'I am here'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask for or accept assistance when I see that I am bugging with a point what would require support and not realizing that effectiveness and consistent self-movement is more practical and self-honest than being stuck with points for a while and not realizing that I am being part of a group, also being part of humanity and thus I am influencing the whole world and I am responsible, whether I act so or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can transcend with psychedelic drugs such as mushroom, acid, ganja, salvia, dmt, mdma and the combination of these substances by believing that these enhance and stimulate my mind to be able to see objectively and more clearly, being able to stop and reset my mind and being able to travel and investigate within consciousness, dimensions, heavens, hells, with beings, masters, slaves, animals, faeries, gnomes, the dead, the consciousness itself etc and not realizing that all I do is I experience in and as my own mind so vividly, so detailed, so mesmerizing that within the self-definition of and as experience I make believe what I experience as reality because it's amount of clarity I define as sufficient to define to be real, as reality, as fact, as knowledge, as wisdom, as transcendence meanwhile not cross-referencing, not using common sense, not reproducing, not using, not being able to direct the experience and thus being lost in and as consciousness while in fact in this physical existence looking at my life, my living, my participation, my influence, my directive power being obvious that I am the same, as others, nothing special, no power, nothing I have really gained beyond experience, memories, reactions and after the effects only remaining with images, pictures, thoughts, feelings, emotions and never considering the fact that I've fooled myself, deliberately, completely.

I forgive myself that I have never ever listened to my beingness, who I am as life substance source that all I exist as and consist of currently is not me, not really living, but as the enormous amount and scale of manifested consequence is constantly reminding me that this is real - I go constantly into the timeloop of believing this is who I am and this is alright, regardless of limitation, uncomfortability, fear, destruction, abuse, horror is being taken place on earth and whenever I experience a taste of it by myself I immediately lose perspective, stop questioning but only wanting to stop MY suffering and never realizing that ANY suffering is also my responsibility but that would require some real transcendence from self-interest which I've considered but never understood in practicality as real time on earth in physical flesh what it takes and requires to let go and change to be able to really act as responsible for what is best for all, no exception, no exclusion, all participants, all life, all beings, all ever was and will be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel collapsed within the scale of being responsible for all beings in existence and consider what would be the best for all, what I would and should do in any given and all moments to ensure that I am act so - and stopping here, as accepting myself as collapsed, shattered, stepped back, stand down, withdrawn from this apparently enormous responsibility because relating it to my own self, comparing and opposing it with 'my self interest' against the 'interest of all' and not seeing/realizing/understanding that this is the reason of lack of transcendence, because not being able to take the leap of faith so to speak, to go through the eye of the needle and let go self-interest completely, really and realizing that in fact the only real self-interest is the interest of what is best for all and within that realizing this is transcendence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define transcendent as remaining superficial, streetwise, philosophical, mental, verbal, thoughtful, imaginative, superimposed, abstracted and never realizing that it is always about the practical, physical, actual walk in and as the human physical body, in and as each breath, word and action unified, equal and one and not realizing what exact very systems I've manifested within me which I must be investigated, understood, forgiven, stopped, changed and let go completely to be able to explore what is beyond these self-defined mind-system-patterns from thoughts, feelings, emotions of the personality, the characters of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have never ever realized that I've defined transcendence as intensity, difficulty and within that not realizing I've defined it with and in relation to energy, polarity, friction and thus always be dependent on it, it's dependent origination of time-looping within the same one dimensional self-dishonesties and not realizing self-movement is not of energy, is not of definition, is not of a reason, but self directly here as life.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that exactly I have to investigate and forgive and stop and commit myself to let go the sexual desires, the fear of change, the fear of being influenced by others, the fear of failure, the fear of not having enough time, the fear of saying no and the fear of being rude, harsh, direct and thus the fear of not being liked, not being loved, not being supported and within that not seeing/realizing/understanding that in fact because I do not support/like/love/direct myself with impeccable, undoubted, constant self-expression, thus defining these what I want to get outside from me and then compromising myself and not walking through these points specifically, one by one until the utmost specificity with diligent, consistent effort each day, each breath and within that not writing down always what it is I forget, I block, I resist, I fear to face and realize it is self-dishonest, it is not really me and thus naturally let go.

I commit myself to stop all definitions of the word transcendence, including associations, images, pictures, feelings, emotions, thoughts, memories and realizing that none of those were in fact real transcendence or transcendence-related.

I commit myself to stop being obsessed with the word transcendence and let go and realize that I only live transcendence with living words as standing in the starting point, saying and acting the same and thus committing myself to continue to specify my presence, accumulate to remain here, thoughtless, physically directly here and be aware of what and why I do and what consequence I manifest with my actions.

I commit myself to push through the addiction of energy, thoughts, doubt and fear of consequence breath by breath and each mind-thought-pattern I recognize, understand, write and forgive and stop and each areas of my life, each participation I take in living I learn to remain undefined yet be aware, breath with and as the body, not leaving one area wherein I would accept thinking, daydreaming in the mind and thus practically committing myself to use writing, words with self-direction and not accepting thoughts to haunt me and react to those automatically.

I commit myself to continue sharing my process of transcending and stopping the mind and exploring what it means to birth myself and others from the physical as life, responsible within the of actual accumulation of consideration for all equally, including myself.

So that is about transcendence today.

I also continue the LOVE point I've walked recently.

Recently I wrote quite amount as well about points what are not for public eye, but I am grateful beyond any measure that I walk with a Desteni I Process Course Buddy who is assisting and supporting me within seeing points I am within and not seeing, and also how to effectively prepare and script and actually walk transcendence.

I commit myself to continue writing my Journey to Life as it is an invaluable support and dare to share and actually live the words I write and realize.

Thank you very much, will be continued

Friday, August 15, 2014

[JTL 197] Transcendence - the movie and beyond part 1

Recently I participated within the
Desteni I Process Live Hangout Movie review: Transcendence.

The hangout can be found here.
(The discussion's technical quality makes it quite challenging to walk, however the discussion is really on the topic!)

And some perspective about Transcendence by Bernard Poolman

Somehow for me, this word  relates to the Painting: Gauguin, Paul: Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? - 1897

So, the movie called Transcendence: About reviews, critics - I've read a lot - just for curiosity - many seemed more like hypo-critics - read lot's of dislikes about the movie, many missed more action, which somehow requires for being counted as a 'blockbuster' - and even some reasoned with 'lack of explosions' - just because the director, Wally Pfister was the cinematographer for many M. Bay action movies, they straight expected similarity, from which this one then felt like failed to satisfy. Well, pity for them, I've really enjoyed it, watched twice, I could even imagine it to be a TV series, just to be able to slow down and open up many related points to explain, but this did not happen, it's alright.

This movie reminded me to the old ones, wherein there was no need for 6 packs of physical action in every dozen minutes with desensitized, beautifully composed ultra high definition of violence combined with virtuo-mega-explosion-porn - which this movie deliberaltely lacks to deliver.

It got reviews of being emotionless, numb, a bit sadness-tainted glassy feel throughout the whole movie, but for me somehow clicked immediately, having the scenario, putting myself into the shoes of Caster having all his possibilities and in a split second it's going away - sure there is this stereotype for aggressive killing machine tantrums for extra-tearless-fast-paced-slowmo punishment protagonists when facing certain end, but come on, the word Transcendence already suggests to step beyond our own immature depiction of entertainment and our reflection for what and who we are and where are we going...

In relation to how Dr Caster behaved in the movie with the pattern I had for instance finding out I had cancer - REALITY - it's like unbelievable, far fetched, it's not really feels real first, just like the horror and massive abuse is being shown on TV - so crisp, crystal-clear depiction, it's like a dream, streamed in 24 frames per second inducing a vivid dream state yet we refuse to realize that this is fucking real, many thousands of people just like us are being killed each day for greed, vengeance and hatred - this point of how physical reality, earth is really being is not yet comprehended, not even considered to actually see what it is how and who we exist as and what must be done to open up in order to really transcend our blindness, just to allow reality to be acknowledged, embraced how and what it is in fact who we accepted to became.

Sure movies has characters as humans do but somehow this whole impression in the movie was really what took me, but probably because I could relate with it, writing codes since childhood, learned some Artificial Intelligence at university and this is being combined with my investigation of what is really going on in existence from different angles - and all leads to one single point whether we acknowledge it or not.

I mean when you face the utter inevitability of certain death - you might consider to see yourself, the world in a different way.

For me it was similar with Caster - not that drastic, but I mean, for me 'cancer' is something what one considers in terms of 'life' - even mine was not 'serious', was handled alright, now it's gone, but still, well, from now on every minute is equally important, so I just have to remind myself to do my best, really best and thus no doubt can fit into me, I can nurture a constant self-direction.

And for that the word transcendence can assist and support to see what actually CAN and should be transcended and then comes the HOW.

I mean to acknowledge how we, as humanity as a whole currently are, the direction, the mean, the image and likeness of it, the character - it is not a nice picture, if one does not prepare to face all the abuse on earth can get crazy from it's immensity - because it is so uncool, only the really whole, stable and self-realized ones can remain really themselves in this deep hell without being influenced/lost/given up or even becoming mad yet act for all life and not lost in reactions...

It is so easy to turn our back to reality when all these sufferings influence us, we can feel sad, hopeless, lost - what experience then we identify that "what I feel is who I am, I do not feel good when I do feel bad, even if it is because how reality is, I just want to feel good anyway" - and then booooom, we look around to find something to feel good about - we are so brainwashed from our fear and tendency to dismiss, disregard reality - we re-define, twist and deceive ourselves by creating false ideas of freedom, equality: just to look at how equality now is considered to be associated with gay marriage and women's right to work or the right for to pray our own self-defined god while - and how freedom is defined as the freedom for secrecy, to buy and own things, weapons even if it means other's enslavement as freedom to exploit, abuse by the law etc...

Everything is deception in the value-system of this world somehow and to even consider to transcend is something what's definition and starting point also should be investigated within self-honesty.

I was walking in 'spiritual shoes' for quite some years and I've recognized a tendency to be distanced/desensitized from the actual sufferings of beings on earth and the inevitability of our death - in order to really let go the ego, the mind-tentacles, one indeed should let go the constant worry and false-compassion of feeling sorry for all the pain being caused in existence to be able to stand up as responsible, but it does not mean to become disregarding, to have excuses/justifications why one stops there or never even starts ACTING to accumulate what would be BEST FOR ALL.

But spiritual 'schools' already figured out a loophole from self-honest common sense point with actually make themselves believe that one first must reach enlightenment with non-attachment and meditation/attainment first and then will be able to help others, while all they do is imitating their own lack of non-attachment (btw, on meditation and non-attachment-related self-support to transcend, Sunette shared a great support once and I've made a video transcription for it, it's here) meanwhile the world system is really making earth to become a hellhole by destroying it's ability for healthy living and more and more are endlessly being abused with the totalitarian corporate enslavement to our own self-religion to energy, money, emotions/fears, hopes and neglect.

It's easy to just say 'suffering is not real', 'ego is not real', 'even our physical is not real', but how one could be more delusional than this?
Everything here in this physical is real - you will not find more real in existence than the physical here. It's not bad, it's our relationship with the physical within consciousness systems is what must be realized/understood/'transcended'. Starting with stopping the perception of separation but I walk this step by step from my point of view. First I've met this word in meditation.

So within spiritual agendas TRANSCENDENCE is a tricky one, because it should even start with the self-purification of the word itself.

Transcendence is a great word, in the system from various ways it's such a great word for providing a pricy product for the craving mind-slaves - it is a bit more direct, less ambiguous word than the word spirituality, which is like something what is not required into any sentence, like a filling, if we take out this word from a sentence, it still remains the same:

'I am walking on a spiritual path' - 'I am walking on a path'.

'I felt the spiritual connection when we kissed in the sunset' - 'I felt the connection when we kissed in the sunset'

'Let's go into Gandhi Spiritual Center' - 'Let's go into Gandhi Center'

See - it's like an energy package what seems to be different and at the same time the same for each human - yet it is like a 'filling', in fact just hiding other layers from self without realizing what it really means.

But for me transcendence seemed more like an action word, it points, moves, animates, let's see what the dictionary says about :

To transcend:
going beyond the limits of ordinary experience, comes from the Latin prefix trans-, meaning "beyond," and the word scandare, meaning "to climb." When you achieve transcendence, you have gone beyond ordinary limitations.
To ask what limitations we mean - it might also be 'personal' - for instance for me walk through self-limitation from inner beingness with want, will, discipline, diligence, honesty from deception, delusion, aimlessness, suppression, depression, dishonesty.

It suggests towards physical manifestation of being able to do better, more which comes from the inner realization of what I do not accept it anymore.

To clarify what can real transcendence start with we must be able to let go the delusions first to see what is reality here and working with facts makes us possible to really change - otherwise we approach reality with the split-misaligned perception and nothing is what it seems, nothing moves as we want, nothing will happen we desire for.

Thus I see priority by common sense to stop self-delusion first - and the Transcendence movie is specific within that because the 'protagonist' so to speak faces the fact that in physical he is lost, will decay, die but did not give up, he just explored what can be extended and expanded and in terms of inner space, inner awareness, an other platform to exist within and as: computer systems.

Many claim consciousness is life, the origin and destination, the alpha and omega of our existence while not realizing and dare to really investigate, explore, cross-reference and actually try to find the limits of consciousness.

What is consciousness and what is the physical?

What is then life? Is it determined by the organic material, the actual cells, the DNA, the information, the energy?

Obviously within this blog post there might be no answer, but more question, the ever-relevant question we are on is the one of: WHO AM I?

Especially when finding oneself within a system, which is already created, manifested, closed, very much automatized, limited, in fact programmed and as much accumulation and constant, consistent action was made to be formed like it is today - the same constant, consistent accumulation is required to see/realize/understand and then actually change it as ourselves as equal as one.

Many even say why change - ourselves, the world - it is PERFECT as it is, nothing to do, nothing to transcend except our strive and occupation for friction - and THEN we can be free of fear, the ego and thus be able to always move in harmony with everything - yet those who claim it do not really act so - do not really can actually DO anything particular - only demon-stating their choice with self-acceptance within self-limitation and not to question their freedom is like believing what is shown in movies/news that it is exactly the reality because believing what THEY experience without experiencing it is like a religion, not fact.

This self-development and the fascination with EXPERIENCE itself is also a good one to explore - what is experience? Many can say for having experience one does not require body, just a mind, a consciousness to move within and explore through - while in fact just being separated from the human physical body within perception and experience.

So then transcending the human life form, to see what is the most prominent, important point we have as issue, it is obvious if we start to explore this point from ourselves, what we, 'me' need first of all, always, constantly and see where to and whom to it is not given, provided but neglected, locked out from based on ridiculous conditions: no physical support, love, equality is existing, the patterns we imagine, desire, plan and manifest our life from are tainted with self-interest, self-delusion, self-suppression and self-defeat.

Food, water, health care, shelter, education is five most fundamental element of any human yet we are unable to provide that unconditionally and all we have is blame and excuse.

To really transcend who we really are today we must learn how to unlearn what we already have became.

Returning back to the movie once more with the 'reasoning' happened for why current human beingness is more and better by saying to exist within contradiction/friction while loving someone and hating at the same time, to have emotions, feelings while not seeing what really it is:
-Human emotion...It can contain illogical conflict.Can love someone......and yet hate the things that they've done. Machine can't reconcile that.

- Can you?
- Yes.
If we really look at it, what actually tells about us how we accept ourselves to exist and with what starting point while not realizing the manifested consequences we create in our reality: Human Consciousness is an energy-friction relationship-network conglomerate, a system, what always exists in polarities, with our thoughts/feelings/emotions hardwired into this system we are being influenced, directed, lived through these relationships separate from our physical beingness, separated from physical earth, separated from our inner self, each other, etc yet we do not recognize that we went too far and in fact are unable to stop this at any time we want, because we became it, became dependent on it, we are separated from each other, from what is here, from who we are through and as this mind consciousness system which always creates/requires energy, dependent on the substance and tries to imitate life.

Just as in the movie: Will Caster's(cool name) uploaded consciousness requires more processing power, more hardware, more energy from physical reality in order to exist, to expand, to influence, to conquer and while we are being mesmerized with this conflict in the movie among fear of change from the 'terrorists and government' and the Caster's predictable change towards technical solutions, virtualisation, connection, evolution etc, we miss the point of the word containing it's definition: con sciousness

Latin conscius: sharing knowledge, from com- with + scīre to know, as in the movie was referred to :
-"Can you prove that you are self-aware?"
-"Do you?"
And to actually see what is this self, and to be aware is also an interesting word:
aware: having or showing knowledge or understanding or realization or perception

[Old English gewær; related to Old Saxon, Old High German giwar Latin verērī to be fearful; see beware, wary]
So as we explore how this system is already pre-defined, pre-programmed, pre-ordained with words, relationships, systems and how we, individuals actually react and operate within action while what exact inner reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions are emerging we realize that most of our existence is already created as it is and we can say that it is ourselves who decided and created ourselves to be who we are today, but then the point of self-limitation comes into the picture that what are our limits, and what are the reasons to accept those limits?

What limits can be transcended, 'go beyond'? How our limits have been created/accepted/being maintained? What are perceptional and physical limits?

Is there any fear what stops us? Is there any desire what distracts us? Why is that?

That is why I refer to the painting what is at the top of this blog posts:

Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going?

Without knowing, understanding, seeing/realizing these points - we are not aware, we are not transcending, just evolving the same as who we were before.

Without figuring out a way from this inequality, this closed consequence-reflection system within our own mind and shared physical reality we remain the same. And to say who and how we are is human nature is like accepting our limitation without even be aware what exactly are our limitations and why they exist and how has been created. Nothing mystical or secret exists within this or hidden magic/sacred wisdom - everything is always here - in front of our eyes, as who we are, as what we do - if we do not see this - we do not know ourselves, we do not know what is here, we do not know anything!

But to walk through the mind, the relationships, the reactions, the personalities, the words - we can learn our creation and be responsible.

The definition of god is what we define it to be - if we accept it as a higher power, it is like accepting ourselves to be a slave, trying to pretend being irresponsible yet claiming free will - it is contradiction, con-tra-dic-tion - controlled-tradition, conned trained addiction, contained dicktation...

These are the points today I reflect from this movie, Transcendence and how to assist and support ourselves from practical, measurable, simple common sense way out from our lack of understanding, from our accepted self-limitation with the Desteni message, tools, study material and group of people.

Self-forgiveness is a self-reflection, a self-direction, self-expression to explore what we have allowed and accepted to became and to realize what must be stopped and changed, really, not only in the mind, but in and as physical reality.

Word by word we re-discover our already manifested creation in the mind and in reality and taking responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed and by being aware the facts, the specific details, we give ourselves a clean vision, a new chance, and forgive ourselves for 'falling' and commit to really change, transcend.

We can talk about happiness, love, freedom of individuals, groups and humanity as a whole but the equation is pretty simple:

Give as you would like to receive.

Love thy neighbor as thyself.

What I would like to have as a human being for living, what I already have, what we tend to be taken granted while if I look at the human system many lack of and they actually suffer and die yet we seclude ourselves into the idea of lack of transcendence with reason, with clarity within friction with confusion until we all get old, sick and die while pretending to love some. It's just weird.

Everybody dies. What is the reason to live? The future, the children to come, the destiny of mankind?

Isn't that love to consider what we leave behind when we die? What to love in this? What IS love then? Is there love? Isn't our love is conditional, pre-defined, limited?

What would mean unconditional love and what it is the price we give away for our adherence to deny our ability, responsibility to transcend our limitations?

To accept people die in hunger, to not having access for water - it is our lack of transcendence - within the delusion of religion of "self-interest", while even the word shows - "self: in the rest" - I am in the rest as well, as equal, as one.

Thus real transcendence in this current scenario we are existing within is not the body to let go, not the nanotechnology to become, not to upload into computer consciousness to be faster, omnipresent, more smart but to understand that we are what we accept and allow as it is consent, it is responsibility, it is self.

Seeing human our-selves to be mesmerized, controlled, divide, separated with energy, fear, money, value systems it is inequality, it is separation from others, in fact self.

We must equalize the money point, the unequal distribution of power on earth in order to transcend our own limitation for be able to live unconditional practical love.

To equalize the money point, to manifest human right REALLY for all from birth unconditionally, equally - to have enough for living by default is already entailing much of the doable, measurable, obvious transcendence which is not in the meditation, spiritual consciousness traveling we can find, but within the simple, basic needs of a human being to give as would like to receive: food, shelter, water, health care, education.

That is my points to give into the word of Transcendence - and pronounce again - I've walked many paths within spiritual/psychedelic/shamanic/tantric 'ways' to dissolve into non-duality and try to overcome my limitations and acceptances and allowances but it is clear that Self-honesty is the eye of the needle to find out what is real transcendence - and to recognize what must be done in terms of stopping participating within consciousness systems, the mind, thoughts, feelings, emotions of polarities to let go and really change, completely, consistently within full understanding of self and consequence.

Thus for transcending one does not require anything but self to be really able to acknowledge/explore/stop and change which for Self-forgiveness is the most practical way to accumulate practical awareness of why and how to actually do that, step by step, one breath at a time.

Because with Self-forgiveness one takes responsibility as a creator/created/creation and becomes aware of self-acceptance and when facing what is being forgiven it comes 'here' - and self starts to see the details, the reasons, the starting points - which is required to self learn to directly change.

I could write much-much more about the movie, the symbolism, the characters, the ideas, the depiction of the movie, but for now this is enough, check out the hangout about it wherein with Mike and Joana (check out their video channel as well with the link in their names) we discuss similar points, 'Taking Transcendence to the next level, with destonian perspective'.

For embracing the word Transcendence I've found the most profound, supporting and surprisingly new perspective within learning about creation, existence, the mind, self-support, business, sex, animals, death and many-many more at, which I listen regularly, almost every day, because as I see it is a very strong pillar for the future of education.

Also to start practically work on self-limitations and expanding practical awareness, I suggest Desteni I Process online courses, the starter is the DIP LITE, no money is required, yet a seasoned buddy is supporting the one who starts to explore oneself within regular writing and self-investigation, self-change.

What I will continue with is Self-forgiveness and Self-correction, Self-commitment about the word Transcendence.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

[JTL Day 196] 10. Making Love Visible part 4

Continuing with 10. Making Love Visible part 1 and part 2 and part 3 as a point within my Declaration of Living Principles.

I establish some self-integrity within equalizing will, vision and action with words in regards to the re-definition of LOVE to assist and support me and others in my reality.

Realizing that Love is to give what I would like to receive I commit myself to ensure that I do not hold onto energetic charges, moods, emotions within my expression of love which I realize that it is only real when it is of and as the physical here, visible, touchable, measurable and manifesting consequences what must be what is best for all participants.

Recognizing the ability to talk with kindness, openness I commit myself to not allow any fear to influence me within my interaction with others and if I recognize any fear within my mind, thoughts, body, energies, I stop, I literally stop and I act immediately as any waiting, spending time within the mind-state of hope gives false light as undermining my self-trust, self-direction, self-honesty because I allow forces outside of me to influence, direct me instead of I directly see, decide, act and move breath by breath within responsibility.

I had a moment of reaction about walking this point which was exactly this:

"I'd like to finish this point to walk through and write about other points already, because many things are coming up, should be also expressed, realized, directed, forgiven, changed."

Specificity and sticking to the exact point what I've started is required and recognizing the tendency to not walk through a point until it is clear, not moving, not influencing, not being accepted in any way whatsoever which then manifests time loop, as allowing aspects, dimensions, relationships still existing what has not yet been re-aligned within and as me and then participating within it re-creating the same dishonesties within action which then when recognized would create unnecessary reaction.

Thus I specify further here:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that if I do not walk a point with writing, self-forgiveness, self-correction and self-commitment until it is entirely here as myself without any thought it is not stopped entirely within me as mind-relationship-behavior-pattern, then I will not be aware fully what I literally participate within which is required to recognize the trigger points, the set and setting to see the pattern before doing it to remember my decision to stop and be able to stop.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that self-forgiveness should and must be absolute specific, practical, real which can be applied in and as the physical in one breath at a time within consistency.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I've allowed myself to not walk through points fully until it is stopped within the energetic stimulation, personality influences which then revealing that I do not do it within self-direction but of circumstances which if not existing, I stop applying, I stop stopping, thus not really changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to write through the patterns of false love within self-forgiveness and self-commitment only and not realizing that writing is the preparation for real living - for be able to learn how to really love and literally make love visible in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that breathing, forgiving and wording is not enough but I have to move, act and do within stable, consistent expression in order to become one and equal with the words I write, I speak thus becoming the Living Words of Love of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I have never loved myself within the fact that I allowed myself to fall into the dishonesty of self-separation from my beingness, my life source substance and within separation creating relationships externally and using those to define, determine, manifest and form and shape me and not realizing that all negative, all hate, all anger I've ever expressed is of because of lack of self-love which can be and should be and will be stopped by stopping existing being defined with relationships separated from me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that self-love starts with quieting myself within, standing up for all life equally and not allowing myself to be possessed with thoughts, feelings, emotions, letting go each and every single inner energetic reactions to not participate anymore yet expressing myself here, visibly, physically directly, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that making love visible is when I become consistent within self-reliance, self-direction and self-commitment to stop confusion, depression, suppression and projection and taking everything back to self and be responsible for all I can do which starting with living self-forgiveness here.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to have idea of love which is not related to physical and react to others as 'bullshit' when they I see/define/react with the impression of 'their love is not visible, they do not really love but they are in consciousness mind systems and feeling love, feeling this energy which is not real, not visible, not love' and instead of judging and blaming, I become the living example of visible love which is changing myself from reaction/judgement/blame to direction/expression/movement.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I really want to walk through all past-related delusions what I've referred as love and then realized it is self-dishonesty yet not specifying, not facing directly, not walking into practical change within the fear of change, fear of loss, fear of fear.

I forgive myself that I have not written practical self-forgiveness in relation to my current living, current relationship, current agreement, current opportunity to explore what would really mean visible, physical, real love.

I forgive myself that I have not realized the tendency within my mind to beat around the bush yet accumulating determination to be able to really commit myself to change instead of directly commit and directly change in one moment, one point at a time.

I forgive myself that I have not realized the fact that I've pre-defined love, pre-programmed what would mean love to be and not allowing to walk through these points because still holding onto these ideas of 'love' instead of applying common sense, practical mannerism unconditionally, trusting myself unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I have given permission my memories, my relationships, my definitions, judgements to tell me how to live, how to love, what to live, what to love unconditionally without awareness, without taking responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to manifest love with my partner to be a fight, a warfare, an energetic polarity manifestation wherein I have to be right, I have to feel good, I have to feel free and I have to be able to do whatever I want in the moment in the name of expectation of acceptance even when it is self-dishonesty with the un-worded contract of the minds of "I accept your dishonesty, you accept mine, this is our love".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from the word of 'compromise' because already believing it means I am falling, I am fallen, I am lost within the accumulation of manifestation of consequence of self-acceptance and allowance of self-dishonesty instead of stopping one breath at a time, one point at a time within self-will, self-trust, self-direction without judging this process, judging how much time points require to realize/stop/change.

I will continue with actual, practical points in my current life.

[JTL Day 195] VLOGs for Self-Support

Made some VLOGS some time ago for about an hour. It is a cool self-support and also as an opportunity to share it.

Looking back when I've started Vlogging, I remember, in February of 2008 I shared my first VLOG in regards to Self-honest Process. Since then I see myself being much more comfortable to talk into the camera - or talking publicly - to express myself when I decide so.
Previously there was this 10 minutes limit for how long a youtube video could be - and it is funny to see that I am still considering that limit which I allow - because I do not want to make a hour vlog, but rather make it sticking to a topic and thus directing myself to compress and specify my words.
I find BLOGging and VLOGging as highly self-supportive when it is in the starting point of Self-honesty. To slow down into physical timeline, to be in this real space and face myself, to know myself, to understand and be able to change myself it is crucial a diligent, principled, disciplined effort to make which accumulates into Self-direction, Self-stability and Self-trust.
What I suggest is to re-watch oneself talking about a point and see inner reactions, how and when and what I judge seeing and hearing talking myself. And then that can be reflected back to self, can be understood, stopped, and simply stand as my expression, as equal as one.
There are so many aspects existing within one's mind and it's vastness can feel like it is life, but if we start investigating our patterns, reactions, feelings, thoughts - we can realize these are consequences, accumulated into the manifestation of conglomerations of who we really are today. This self, as how and as we live in this physical world can not be denied as it is ourselves directly, which does not mean it's unchangeable, it just means that it is what we ended up becoming until this day.
So changing is an interesting word - if I do not change - am I perfect, will I not change anymore? By myself or by circumstances?
If I can have power, will and direction to change myself to become better, will I do it? Can I really do it? Within wanting to change I acknowledge that I am not satisfied with myself, within not wanting to change I say everything is alright in me, in my reality, which again: can be and should be questioned within absolute self-honesty.

So after all - who can change oneself and who will change oneself? If I can not change, am I real or am I already fully myself? Why to change and what to change and how to change then also can be a question.
This is the whole point within the Journey to Life process - I walk through understanding and layers of Self and explore what I am, what I can be, which parents, spiritual ways, mainstream school, or partnership might not showed me before, not because they did not want to, but because they did not know either who I am and what I am capable of! And when seeing myself became who I am because of dishonesty, fear, I stop that, I see what is beyond that and how to live without that dishonesty/fear.

Thus I suggest taking this free online self-realization course for becoming not just the Quest I on, but the Answer too!

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

[JTL Day 194] 10. Making Love Visible part 3

Continuing with 10. Making Love Visible part 1 and part 2 as a point within my Declaration of Living Principles.

Still walking the decomposition of definitions, judgements, memories of the word LOVE and starting to re-define what it could be Self-honest Love to see what has to be explored within practical living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/define that I can have a great love, a target for my enormous, unique, world-burning love what feels so strong, so brutally dominating in my mind that the only thing I can think of is to fulfill this love, to have this person of my love and defining this as my real love, the subject of this affection, obsession, posssession as my life lover, my soulmate, my destiny and the greatest value in my life and the more feeling not being able to be with her, feeding this desire more and more to be fulfilled and being confused, disoriented, doubted with the fact that she does not want to be with me, she rejects me and tells me that she is not loving me and thus not understanding this whole thing feeling within me and defining this rejection as the greatest pain possible within me and meanwhile in reality never ever questioning with common sense that how and why I allowed and created this love and why and how not understanding that if she does not want to be with me then if I would really love her, I would want to leaver her alone but not getting it, being obsessed with proving her that my love is true, trying to seduce, win, persuade, mesmerize, make her love me and never realizing the extent I've allowed myself to go just for this and not questioning myself within this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to die, end my life, because defining the greatest suffering as being rejected from the one I've defined as loving the most, and never realizing that this love I've defined is not real love, it is an obsession, an affection, a desire, for something to fulfill, not even related to her, only to my reactions, definitions, values projected to her, separated from me by these judgements, these energetic polarities through, thoughts feelings, emotions and this whole thing defining as me, my love, her as my lover and not realizing it all goes only in and as the mind, superimposed into physical thus until not seeing/realizing/understanding the starting point, the first impression, the accumulation of this creation of this so defined 'love' experience - seeing it all here in one moment through, in each moment, within clarity, within self-honesty, until that it is common sense to not accept it as it is, as who I am and as what I must do, how I must feel, but to realize my responsibility to stop all what is self-defined within self-interest unconditonally.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that all my love experiences, definitions, reactions were always in and as my mind, it was always about me, me alone and trying to use all I've seen/got/learned in this world to fulfill this love as seen in movies/read in books, copied from others and feeling to have a right to apply the 'no matter what it takes to get her love' and thus manipulate myself into patterns/characters/behaviors one after another and see which she would react/be attracted to and then specifying that, making her in fact fall in her mind into a similar experience of self-defined love towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define that having so much memories, definitions, reactions to the word love and go into the judgement of 'it is too much', 'takes so much time, too much time, not having enough time, wanting to give into the 'not want to take this much time to walk it, wanting to compress it' - and not realizing that one breath at a time I walk through all what is of mind, and if I allow myself to make a pattern of walking through my mind and not being present, breathing, physical, directive, principled, committed, willing, self-honesty within each moment, I am not walking within absolute specificity, I am trying to walk the mind still in and as the mind in the way that it SEEMS valid, FEELS self-honest, but in fact isn't and thus not walking fully points through, thus not allowing myself to really know what I've allowed, what I must be responsible to stop exactly how and thus creating timeloop as in fact allowing backdoors and possibility, percentage to fall and within that fall only to realize that I've gave into the temptation of judgement with energy and thus having to walk it again and creating another possibility to be frustrated with me and what I allowed to manifest as timeloop unnecessarily.

Thus I commit myself to walk through all definitions, judgements, memories of love, the word love, experiences, reactions, relationships until I am here, present, undefined, self-honest and be able to re-define the word LOVE, how to practically act how to live love what with I and others can live within equally.

I commit myself to stop myself immediately when judging, defining the way I am walking through with self-forgiveness, self-correction, self-commitment about how big/many/extensive it is and realize that I can stop in one breath and whatever I see needs to be stopped, I stop, I stop, I stop until it's necessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a partnership according to the definitions of love, the feelings, emotions I have about love even when it is not self-honest, when it is not practical equality and support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my insecurities, fears, desires, judgements towards my partner, my definition of subject of my love and expect things of her, want things from her by default, whatever I see as my self-definition of love would be, regardless of her, what she would want, what is supportive for her and me equally within the obsession of living out the desire of my love as defined as I have the right to have what I feel as good and not realize it is good only in the mind as definition, reaction, judgement.

Bringing all back to Self Here what I can apply from this very moment is the following:

When and as I idolize, self-define, judge myself as incomplete, hollow, lacking, I stop and I see in relation to what this comes up and why to stop the perception of need for external fullfillment and within that realizing that whatever I try to use as a reason, need for having an affection, a definition for need for love and the value for love I see/realize/understand that it is only me, for me, and thus realizing that this is not love, only interest, which I prevent judging, defining, just seeing it as it is.

When and as I feel I do not love myself I see what thought pattern concluded to that and how and why and within that seeing the personality mind logic and immediately bringing it back to self here to see what is the separation I perceive with the self-accepted relationship with what specific words what I then apply Self-forgiveness on unconditionally.

When and as I would define an experience of falling, faliure, limitation, I see/realize/understand that it is of consequence of accumulation of participation within starting point of self-definitions which has to be known, understood specifically one by one to prevent going into because I've allowed myself to give permission to my mind to reacting to self-judgement of falilure, fall, limitation to feel anger, frustration, hate and thus creating a polarity, a need for love, a need for positive and within that defining the opposite of what I've defined as negative automatically accept as positive and thus reacting to it's judgement as loving it and thus defining it as what I want and who I am and this whole process I prevent by breathing here, slowing down within, if required literally physically as well, be aware of each breath, each physical step, each movement, feel the body, the muscles, the air in my nose, the touch, the feet standing, and be in this standing within the knowledge of how I allowed myself to exist previously and why and how I stop it and actually stopping and within that stopping stabilizing myself to stand here undefined, present, and thus rebirth myself.

Within this process I stop the previously learned pattern of love which was of fear, of interest and give myself the opportunity, the ability, the integrity to purify myself to be able to embrace unconditional love as being here, being silent within, yet present, knowing, aware, responsible.

Within Living Love Visible I share my stopping, my changing, my expanding within self-stability and when asked for support, I stand and I share how and what I've walked through.

Realizing the Dignity within Self-honest Living and re-defining Love as not accepting anything less than who we are as Life, I stand up for myself and for those who can not stand up for themselves.

Within Partnership I do not accept anything judgement/definition to automatically react to and give permission to thoughts, feelings, emotions to tell me who I must be, how I must be, what I must do, but to realize the point of Equality within each of ourselves here.

Realizing the patterns of the mind within self one can see that most of the people do participate with the same thoughts/feelings/emotions playing out inferiority/superiority patterns and if one does not communicate with her/his partner, when re-defining love within Principle, it can become really frightening for one's partner, especially when the the two are not at the same understanding, not having the same meaning, definition for specific words, especially LOVE.

Thus pronouncing the Making Love Visible as clear, direct, open communication of what one has as a starting point, what with can literally agree with her/his partner and sticking to that and build trust one deed after an other and whenever there is doubt, reaction within the mind then taking responsibility for oneself and for the agreement to ensure that Love is always directed, experienced and shared in and as the Physical, as visible, as agreed, as supportive for all participants equally.

to be continued

Friday, July 18, 2014

[JTL Day 193] 10. Making Love Visible part 2

Continuing with
10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE.
Going deeper within the purification of the word LOVE through letting go all experiences, memories, definitions, reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions unconditionally.

It is to recognize that these words are of my personal experiences but to walk through these patterns as self and as others as humanity as a whole supports to stand up to the conscious, subconscious, unconscious layers of the mind which we are not aware of yet accepting and allowing and continuously giving permission to influence and direct our very decisions within our daily living.

This can be reflected back from the news, media, publications, art, music, social media, the law system, the monetary system and eventually how we are living and the responsibility one can take is to assist and support to question the apparently most relevant pillars of our ideas within the human mind such as love, freedom, joy and to recognize the fact that we are very much tainted with hate, enslavement and suffering what we accept and allow within our mind and within the world system as equal as one.

Thus Principled Living within Equality and Oneness to walk through the Self-dishonesty of one's mind is in fact not only one's mind but as more layers become visible within exploring Self-intimacy, it becomes walkable and changeable by self, one breath at a time, one deed at a time and thus creating the opportunity to give that change to all others equally as self and thus really explore what would real, visible, physical love mean for all equally.

I dare to walk through not only the dark corners of my mind, but the light as well, as both are of the same origin: separation from Life here - thus it is to not fall into the energetic polarities but within Principle - walk through each layers of the mind until I am the Unified Man Here.

Also within the alignment and commitment to Living Principles it is to realize that with the starting point of Equality and Oneness and the practical Unification of Man, in fact we can stand as "I am already a Unified Man" and from this standing it is here what must be realized, understood, forgiven and let go completely and change within and without.

So let's walk the mind consciousness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define love with bitterness because at the time I've defined myself to love someone and she rejected me defining this whole rejection, dismissing, neglecting, disregarding experience with the definition of love and feel myself completely aimless, goal-less, without direction and absolutely wasted because of the experience of not getting what I wanted and wanting it more and more and become obsessed with it to the degree that anything else in my life defining as not as important, everything throwing away and only focusing to the subject of the energetic experience of this striving, yearning, wanting which taints my mind, my body, my whole beingness and from that completely becoming this dark, void, endlessly empty veil wanting to embrace the subject of my love like an uncertain, thin shadow, a ghost and within these self-defined, self-created, self-judged, self-maintained experiences overwhelmed with the energy, the darkness, the choking experience of this sad, hopeless feeling of recognition of helplessness of not feasible craving for my love and thus defining myself and love according to these experiences, defining my beingness with these reactions without realizing these are just experiences in my mind, and the more I focus to these, the more energy I give into it and the more it will become inflated and never realizing the physical breath, the physical presence, the factual physical reality as cross-reference, as source, as stability to be aware of and stand as equal and with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself completely powerless in the experience of failure of the unfulfilled love and be overwhelmed by the disappointment of this throw-back and define myself as defeated, lost and fallen and feel pity and sorrow and sunk in the experience of cannot let go what defined as most precious, important, profound and valuable and within that defining myself more powerless and more lost and feel myself falling out from my human physical body, wanting to decay, pass, die just to not experiencing this apparently endless annihilation which in fact just an inflated, superimposed inner reflection of my own self-interest, self-centered, self-created, self-image which do not want and can not let go, release, step beyond.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for not being able to direct my thoughts, feelings, emotions, creating experiences within me by repeating what I find unpleasant in regarding to the definitions, experiences, memories to the word LOVE and wanting to understand, wanting to feel positive about it, wanting to change what has passed and believing that if I re-think, re-member, re-play the events what I've reacted to the most, then I would find a way to understand, to fulfill, to change or even let go the complete possession with the subject of my love what I wanted the most and never really questioning what I've defined as such attractive, why I wanted those values finding in another, feeling with another, defining having with another in fact within and as myself in the first place and what is the actual separation I've fallen into in and as my mind, defining as myself to not be able to stand myself here as whole, as complete, as fulfilled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to such an extent in finding what is love to the point of wanting to literally die because of not being able to fulfill what I've defined as love and only within the moment of action for destroying myself realizing that this is absolutely exaggeration, false trail and yet not realizing what I was doing but simply going into the another direction of polarity and defining love, woman, relationship as worthless, absolutely unnecessary and falsehood trying to protect my wounded ego and trying to protect it from an other opportunity of vulnerability and giving up the previously obsessed idea of 'love' but only for it's opposite as the hate and vengeance and defining that energetic experience as powerful and strong and interesting, profound and within that never realizing that it was self-hatred, self-destruction I wanted to exert because of what I've accepted and allowed myself to give into and literally, physically become and not being able to stop yet fearing from letting go thus remaining the same exact slave of my own self-dishonesty in and as my mind played out by the polarity game of positive and negative and in fact not changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself stoic, bitter, realist, pragmatist, investigator, spotter and defining myself, my life, my living to the discovery of truth, because feeling completely fooled, deceived, enslaved and wanting to find a way from the trap of love and hate by realizing both of are not who I really am and wanting to go beyond, to let go, to reborn, change and with that strive by feeling disappointed within both love and hate wanting to find something or somebody outside of me what would be the solution, the truth, the power and justice I've always striven for and never could really feel, become and remain as and within that never realizing that all I was looking for within love, hate, wanting to step beyond polarity was always here, self, in and as my physical location, myself, breathing constantly in and out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my beingness, my source, my life, my substance with always wanting something or someone to influence, tell me, who I am, how I be equal as one with myself and all what is here and within that give into the temptation of the mind, the relationships defined outside of me, through energy, through thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, pictures, images to define love separated from me, thus not being able to be in connection, in relationship, in unification with myself here directly and always wanting to use something separated from me to be me.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that any anger, hate, vengeance, anxiety, confusion, depression I experience, feel, define, accept and allow is because of the relationships I accept to exist with separated from me, because of the self-accepted self-separation, self-dishonesty I accept within and as me and within that moment of giving and being the energy of anger, hate, vengeance, anxiety, confusion, depression I do not take responsibility for what I have allowed myself to be and become and the consequences of what I create with it not only for myself but others in my reality and in fact all and everything within this existence.

I forgive myself that I have not realized/seen/understood that when going into the moods, energies, feelings, emotions of negative, it is not self I feel, it is not directly my physical beingness within I take refugee, but separate relationships and energetic movements which is of conditions, circumstances and allowing to tell me who I am I give permission to not express myself directly but of and as this mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that going into the self-pity and hatred for positive is not the solution, and then going into the positive and definitions of love either and never realizing that these are the same mind manifestations, just the energy polarity is different, but exactly the same separation relationships from directly self here.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that falling into the mind to tell me what love is, how to love and what to love and feeling positive and negative, going energetically high and low - I am not existing as who I really am as beingness as physical life but of consciousness systems, personality rules and matrices, characters, what are programmed by others, by who walked on earth before me, by those who I've given permission to influence me in my life through words, images, sounds and never having an absolutely clear moment to realize that by these influences, I am abusing life, abusing my life source substance in and as the physical and because of not realizing it, continuing with it, even protecting it as it would be me, as I would be love as I would be real and never facing the fact that this is not life, this is not love, just a manifested consequence of fear, separation, dishonesty and not realizing that I should stop, I can stop and find practical ways to do it, no matter how difficult can be, how long it would take or what really I have to walk through to find myself here as life as source as substance.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that defining relationships, partnership according to past, memories, associations, feelings, emotions automatically is not myself directly, only what I've allowed myself to manifest through and as the mind which can be understood, stopped, forgiven and change to not participate again within self-honesty, within slowing down within, self-investigation, self-writing, self-intimacy and self-commitments to prepare myself actually, really, physically let go each and every single reaction, definition, judgement.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to acknowledge that there is hate within myself for what I've allowed myself to manifest in this world, within myself, and hiding this hate with positivity, with hope, with forgetfulness, with obsession, occupation, distraction and automatic personality patterns to keep my mind busy and stimulating and constantly moving and never stopping for seeing directly what is here in and as physical facts as what I actually do and manifest and being responsible for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted to worry and in fact fear to be with those who are defining themselves, their values, feelings, life as of and for love because from knowing myself also defining that they are lost, not seeing, deluding themselves and by judging them diverting my focus from self here within consistency to judgment, projection, blame and not realizing that everyone walks the same mind and my responsibility is my stopping for my reactions and live and all I can do is share and support when it is asked.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being influenced by those who are mesmerized by the energies of love because they do not know what they praise for and what they experience and not realizing that judging anyone, blaming anyone will not make solution, rather than first making sure I do not react, do not judge, do not waver, do not change and then express myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and wait for better times, for to be loved and not realizing that it is myself here who I do not love that is why the need for love in the first place occurs and not facing the fact within self-honesty why exactly this lack of love for myself and why and what exactly I mean on 'love' and what relationships, reactions I react with for the word, sound, letters of love.

to be continued with more memories, judgements to let go

Monday, July 14, 2014

[JTL Day 192] 10. Making Love Visible part 1

Continuing with my Declaration of Principles

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE.
"Love = I will not accept or allow anything less than who you are as one and equal with me. When I see that you are not honoring you as who you are - I will directly intervene and assist and support you, how necessary - so you in this moment may realise/see/understand what you are accepting/allowing within you that is not of who you really are."
Starting Love Here - with exploring what Love is in terms of Self and within that what Self is and within that what Self is not as what is not yet Living as what would means to really LIVE.

Within each breath I take and I am in the mind: I am not Living, I am trapped within the religion of my self-created reality of the delusion of self-love which in fact not visible, which is in fact not physical, not real.

Within walking the process of Self-honesty it is clear that any love which is not expressed, shared, lived directly in and as physical earth is not real, only seems to be in the mind as a make-believe, as a bubble of energy, as an interest of which not the best, which will burst inevitably.

Love starts with Self Here - thus not accepting anything less than who I really am within absolute Self-honesty, within the utmost respect for the Breath of Life within and as me which equal within all.

Not accepting myself to be influenced, stimulated, mesmerized, trapped by thoughts, feelings, emotions, images, pictures, memories, personalities, characters, desires, fears, phobias, obsessions, possessions, which with I would justify to myself or others that any perceived separation of me into and as the mind would be valid, acceptable or even for a moment be tempted to tell me who I am and what I would want to accept as myself for now or for any given moment from now on indefinitely.

Standing up to my self-accepted limitations to recognize the compromise within the false refugee I've taken into and as the polarity of the mind as the mesmerizing energetic states of positive and negative energies in and as my physical body, forming anything beyond one and equal present physical self living here in each breath.

Whenever or wherever seeing myself accepting compromising self-honesty at a slightest level, recognizing the most relevant mathematical equation of physical consequence of 1+1=2, meaning realizing the self-responsibility for any inner reaction of doubt, fear, judgement or inner definition to limit myself which always accumulate into what is not the best for me, for all others equally, thus committing myself to forgive myself for what I am accepting and allowing and standing up to stop and within stopping actually changing myself and live this change making my love to myself, to all life equally visible and ground to earth due to the accumulation of physical consequence one act at a time, one breath at a time.

Realizing the solution of that I can understand, stop and change myself, sharing myself walking through all layers of self-dishonesty unconditionally, I am re-defining what is love which is real and can be shared in and as the physical.

Within partnership, agreeing with self to stand unconditionally, to stand and walk with an other within an agreement unwavering, undefined within self-direction and manifesting love in the way of giving which I want to receive, meaning care, trust, tenderness, stability and practical equality and within this direction facing anything compromising this from within or with out and taking responsibility for and investigate, cross-reference, forgive, commit myself to stop and really change and explore what is real love.

Within this Starting point it is here what I still accept and allow within my mind in forms of resistance and and attraction and realizing that it is of self-definition, of self-judgement, of self-dishonesty which can be understood, written down, walked through with Self-forgiveness until I am here with the awareness of what must be stopped and how exactly I am participating within what and how exactly must be stopped participating breath by breath.

Starting with exploring what resistances I've defined towards the word love, thus manifesting polarities, different poles to be reacted to at the same time towards the word LOVE thus whenever hearing, thinking, reading, saying the word love, associating, reacting automatically, activating energetic reactions, definitions, perceptions of virtual personalities about what love is and in fact thus giving my mind, circumstances, physical reality, myself permission to constantly timeloop within the exact same patterns without being aware of, being able to stop and really change and transcend and explore what would really mean to live the unconditional love in each moment equally.

Walking through the layers of perceptions of self-defined idea and experiences of love to explore what it really means to live love free, not defined by the quantity of it's subject, and also within that realizing that if love is objected to something, it is already of separation, of definition, of mind, thus realizing the true love is when there is no separation, no judgement exists and within that realizing that I am not only responsible for myself but all what is here, everybody on earth, in this existence and to be able to stand up from my self-interest and mind-perception to live according to what is best for all as equal as one in each action can become the Visible Love I am aligning myself to LIVE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from the word LOVE because defining it as deception, defining it as not real, as defining it as failure, trap, illusion, delusion, because whenever I've defined myself with it, whenever I've tried to believe the reactions, feelings, personalities built with it, it always concluded within falling, shattering, being completely false, not real, not true and thus defining it as avoidable, resistible, deniable and never considering to realize the fact that my starting point, my very relationship with the word love is of self-dishonesty, fear and the word itself is only can be what I give meaning to it and manifest it through that, thus the common sense is to decompose all patterns I consist of in regards to the word love first to see who I've accepted and allowed myself to became already on the physical manifestation in relation to the word LOVE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define love as unconditional, as eternal, as unquestionable, unwavering, and seeing this world, this physical reality, this manifested human system as in fact is, concluding that real love does not exist, only interest, thus real self does not exists, only self-interest and defining it as tough, cruel, rude, and within defining it as, defining myself as that as well, thus wanting to be and become tough, cruel, rude as this system has become to be equal with it, to be able to deal with it within believing that whatever the system is like, I must be in order to be able to remain, to be effective, be myself within and not realizing that I've defined myself of this world, I've defined myself of my reaction, relationship to the perception I've defined seeing in relation to my self-defined idea of love and thus limiting myself to what I've defined without questioning, without being able to understand, stop and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself naive, childish, delusional because in terms of my definition of unconditional love not seeing reflected back in this world, thus defining myself through it, in fact reflected back within the judgement I accept within my own reaction to what I actually do and what I see others doing and thus influenced by my definition and acceptance manifesting exactly what I've judged and defined as the opposite of unconditional love.

I forgive myself that I have previously fallen into love which means defining something what I've loved as being obsessed with as wanting to have and ensure being able to remain having, possessing, the subject of my love, the reaction to the definition of my love, the person I've defined to be needed to be able to love, to feel love, to feel loved, to be equal and one with the definition of love and not realizing thus separating myself from the ability to directly myself here LIVE LOVE.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that holding onto ideas and images and pictures and memories and hopes and desires and superimpose that into physical relationship with someone can not be real love because disregarding what is here, who I walk with thus the expectations to love, live in fact meaning compromising self-honesty by making love conditional, not self-directed and of and as the polarity of judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word love, it's meaning, not facing it with the perception that real love not exists within this world and accepting it and not realizing that I can re-define love and I can live what love would really mean as unconditional standing for self as all as one as equal and seeing practically what it means to manifest it and seeing facts here and not react to what is already manifested as consequence thus focusing to practical solutions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define love according to media, books, movies, how others explain, define, show what love is and defining it as bullshit, superficial and delusional and defining love according to when multiple self-interests stand together and thus reacting to it and manifesting resistance towards it and that energetic reaction to influence, direct me and feel separated from others, and judging that as not cool and thus separating myself from my own reactions towards my self-defined love instead of letting go all definitions, judgements, reactions, automatic feelings, thoughts, and use common sense and see facts here and support all participants as giving as would like to receive equally..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define common sense based, calm, not overwhelming, not storming, going up and down and emotional, feeling-based consideration/definition/value of love as not real as defining love based on emotions, energies, feelings and never question my starting point, each and every single tiny reactions I accept, allow and accumulate into my personality to automatically influence, suggest, tell me what is love, when to love, what to love, how to love and thus let go facts, reality, equal consideration of all participants here physically.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that love can be visible and real if it is in and as the physical, not in separate minds, not in feelings, emotions, but the flesh involved WITHOUT the mind, consciousness and thus to be able to really love myself, others it is crucial and inevitable to purify myself from all energetic mind reactions, patterns programmed with words within with Self-forgiveness to the utmost specificity to see what I have allowed myself to manifest and taking responsibility and really commit myself to find practical ways to change.

I forgive myself that I have never considered to face the fact that I do not know what love is and how to really love myself or others and thus using patterns, images, reactions to define me regarding to love, how to live in love and never realize the polarity within, the starting point of negative energy of self-accepted hate towards what I accept and allow within self-separation, self-dishonesty, self-delusion and yet not standing up to it as myself to face equally what I consist and exist as and thus realize exactly how and what I should and in fact can stop breath by breath with Self-correction within Principle and re-definition of words.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that why in fact I've allowed myself to hate and blame for that hate and what is that hate within me and allowing the polarity within with hate-love and never realize that anything of this polarity is not living but programmed consciousness systems for it's own self-interest, excluding others, secluding self into this one-dimensional energy-game wherein running from what is defined as negative and be attracted towards what seems as positive and never realizing the whole cycle is the same and recreational timeloop within the same self-dishonesty as fear and never realizing the exit from it with slowing down within, writing all patterns down and forgive each pattern I've allowed to participate within and commit myself to stop unconditionally and thus let go and really transcend the polarity game of love-hate and find out what would really love mean without conditions, separation, fear.

to be continued

Beyond walking to LIVING principles and the process of alignment I share what supports me extensively by walking with EQAFE interviews - there are many interviews for Self-support in relation to love, relationship, agreement, just to mention some:

Saturday, June 28, 2014

[JTL Day 191] Work and timeline

This blog post is a short one.

I've walked some points recently and also noticed change within and also recognizing the returning tendency of when no facing mind-twisting problem would pull me down, I put work into motion so much as accepting this inherent program within me that 'now there is this moment of clarity, I have to push what I want as much as possible as who knows how long I will be clean of worries, fears, desires, distractions, frustrations, pains etc - and in fact by that pushing myself too much and this time for instance causing my hand to have some serious pain again. It relates to how I hold my shoulder, in fact how I approach doing things within my mind and already faced it extensively and then it ended up being useless for months and now similar pattern emerging I have the opportunity to see what I exactly do and how to stop it, so this is I am busy with while trying to figure out the best ratio of working and resting within body-respecting self-honesty.

And within that realizing that this tendency of wanting to rush with things is not considering consistency, health, practical sustainability, in fact because of fear of losing myself and not realizing this is still of fear - just on an other level.

The human mind has so many layers, only with diligent, constant, consistent, cross-referencing self-honest practical accumulation can recognize the patterns of self-limitation, self-sabotage and ignorance for all others as all as equal as one.

There is this very cool article on FALLING by Marlen (and all of her writings!!!) which in fact is in context with this:

I commit myself to give myself the recognition that I do in fact change thus not need to fear from losing myself again, to fear from falling, to fear from failing, to fear from not being able to do what I want, my works within consistency, a way within I can sustain my health and inner and outer equilibrium within absolute self-honesty while facing the layers of my mind, the self-dishonesty within myself and the world and one breath at a time stop, re-align and practically change.

I recognize that with scheduling and respecting my decision and trusting myself that in fact I can figure out what scheduling with I can nurture and enjoy myself in all aspects of myself equally, I can become more effective, directive and consistent.

Making the Journey to Life timeline here in this page is quite specific: seeing my life, my direction, my commitment to this one point of - blogging - how I was able to in fact do - that's why facts are cool - and that is why the one seeks truth and justice and realization must embrace all facts here and align SELF with facts first, then recognize the self-responsibility for all what is here.
By seeing the months I've wrote, seeing when not - it is a direct self-facing: if I decide something and then not doing it - what reactions come up? Is that justification or excuse? Am I really the directive power in my life or some patterns in my mind I give permission to tell me who I am, what limits shall I accept? How I can be so sure this point is my limit if I did not give everything to push it before? Obviously common sense is suggested, it's not about trying to kill myself, just investigating what patterns I've got as apparently myself while in fact it was just taught, programmed - from family, school, the system...Also recognizing when my mind seems to have this inflated state of persuasion with reactions all the time - and resulting to one fact: not writing when I've committed myself and when that day is done is done - for that the timeline is also supporting. Obviously not to take seriously and judge myself, just to learn and know myself in order to stop the thoughts because then I really know who I am, no need to think, but express, learn, change, expand and share and in fact be able to be consistent and responsible without any reason but because this is who I am as life.

Also meanwhile there is this very cool collection of self-supportive writings: