[JTL Day 227] Everybody dies

This is a reminder of what is really going on here and to share a common sense point, because this might not be that obvious in overall:

Everybody dies

I remember when my sister considered me once as a 'strange man who thinks about death' - well, not exactly, but it does not mean I do not realize every day that I am certainly going to die.

This might sound like creepy, but it is not a bad thing at all - well, this is not a fear-based reaction, like 'o m g - I am going to die, noooooo' - but it's rather like 'well, practically put, what is important, what are the values, principles, the very meaning of life of who I represent here within my living expression today - and tomorrow.

It also can be really awesome if I also consider what I have expressed yesterday and before, but only to be able to clarify who I am going to be today and tomorrow as the best I could be possible.

'Best' meaning here to live up to my utmost potential, which I might not know until I push myself through some resistances, even uncomfortable situations, finding out and expanding my limitations - and within that if I put everything of myself, I might see it.

There is a cool concept which I encountered through the books of Carlos Castaneda - he was of a 'shaman' apprentice by the story.

There were qualities pronounced by his teacher, Don Juan and Don Jenaro: one of those was being: impeccable, blameless.

This was always an important thing within my life, to live like I would not feel ashamed or to regret what I did or did not - but how can I ensure that I will not regret anything? That I have no shame at all. The common sense is to always give all I can every day, in each moment and I might not know how much I can do until I did not try.

My father was also referred as a 'strange man', he also often contemplated about death, but his message to me was 'see, son, we could die any day and we can't do anything about it, so it seems quite pointless, we have no control' - meanwhile how I concluded was the opposite - because I have nothing to lose(listen to Bernard's interview!) - I can and should live up to my possible utmost potential, which I might not know until I am absolutely certain that I did all I could, I pushed all my limits until I could and I did not give into any temptation of any resistances within my mind. Why? Because what I resist persists - and then I am not the directive principle, rather I allow an accepted consequence to set a limit to me, who I accept myself to be, which is what is it: self-compromise.

So then it is the reason, the justification, the very excuse is who I actually am as manifested consequence - but more - what I physically participate within and also accepting and allowing within this Earthly physical existence - is also who I actually am. Might sound as exaggeration but if I really want to take responsibility for all I was, I am or I ever can be(come) - this is what I have to stand up to.

So giving up all of my life for something sounds self-deception, because how I could give up what I do not actually have, which is apparently called 'my life' - when I have actually, certainly no power to stop my death. I can postpone, I can slip through here and there, but eventually I am going to die. Of course, this does not mean to become reckless, irresponsible, or self- and life-abusive, just to have an aware reference point not get possessed by the idea of fear of death too much to the point of resistances and self-compromises.

So this is also a cool motivation for the really sane human - there is no emotion, fear, of any negative association - nor also a positive reaction of I am still here today - these would mean I am giving a meaning, a purpose for who and what and why I am here and by that I would exist with that point within a conditioned relationship in my mind but as it is of conditions, so beyond that it is the actual liberty of self-realization that who I am is here - always here unconditionally.

Might sound a bit philosophical, but literally this is easy: I am all what is here.

With this starting point I take responsibility for all what is here - starting with me, who I accept myself to be - in my mind, from which I perceive norms, limits, this certainly can be questioned, challenged, understood and eventually transcended, meaning I am not accepting anything less than who I can be within expression, living, actual physical participation with which I am influencing my reality.

Realizing the current conscience, awareness and actual power I currently can direct - this encompasses my mind, my body at first, then what I actually can do within this human system with my mind, body, words.

Many people try to find a meaningful purpose, a compass to live by, an interest - but the simplest yet greatest perspective, starting point and thus responsibility simply must be what one can incorporate, embrace, including ALL.

This certainly can and will fuck the ego-mind-consciousness if one can take it seriously: What is best for all - in theory, in practice - even to figure out one has to be stepped out of the hypnotic trance of self-interest, it's justification of fear of loss to stand naked in front of self, existence, as equal as one as a whole yet still an individual expression of life.

So this is actually cool - if I only care about myself or about a certain part, a group of existence, then I am neglecting, I am disregarding, I am actually separating myself from all I could stand up to in terms of responsibility, awareness and actual self-and thus: life-realization.

So waking up as a purpose, every day, to realize - who I am today is all I've got, and I will not get any better than this.

Everybody dies, that's quite certain, and everybody will take responsibility for what they perceive themselves to be - so it's also cool - everybody can be as much, as great, as powerful as they want, but that comes with responsibility - this is the ultimate question: what is my interest? Only Self or others as well? What it means to take responsibility for all?
With this as a moral compass, as a point of integrity, responsibility - we can apply not only common sense but also a more simplification of priority about what is really important, I mean one can be nervous when dating with someone at first or even disappointed about not getting awesome service at the restaurant while many are living in hell on earth - one can start asking that "is my fucking instability, self-centered whining, egoistic, mind-parasite sex-drug-party-craving the best for all, really?" One can let the point of integrity go with an excuse of a simple fall or self-dishonesty accepted, while to realize that we all each can accumulate towards what is best for not only ourselves, but also to include all and if we can't, it might mean we are too stuck within our mind to see the reality, which can be investigated, understood step by step with the decision to be made every day, because one can admit or not - we can all die at any place in any time. And of course not to get stuck in that as something to be feared from, but as I mentioned before: a grownup, sane person can realize facts. Everyone wants to be handled good, so to manifest that, we just have to give that to receive the same...
Many can say easily, to live in the moment, go with the flow, but to be able to live shameless, as innocent without ignorance only can be realized if one has no shame and regret at all - to be able to look into anyone's eyes and not to say 'I am sorry' - but to be able to stand like that - 'this is who I am, I do all I can do', which is not an excuse, but a starting point in each moment to push beyond resistances and limitations because we should not accept to be anything less than who we really are as life as all as equal as one.

It is not that difficult to consider what is best for all - here is something to read about that:

This may sound complicated and 'philosophical', but it's really not.

What's an example of a starting point that is not best for all?

• http://www.matterfreeman.com/2015/06/day-300-whats-your-purpose-in-this-life.html

[JTL Day 215] 5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility

Continuing with the Principles list.
 

5. Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realising only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others
I always wanted freedom and for that I was seeking knowledge, understanding, comprehension. There was never a point of tiredness which could stand in my way to investigate, learn and study what I wanted to be aware about and that is something, what was not given but it is always a decision to make about who I am.

The thing what has limited me within finding the power and ability I wanted to be able to change was denying and deliberately avoiding to take responsibility.

I had to find out the hard way that knowledge without practical application is literally useless, it's just dead data until I do not start to apply it.
I always wanted to be free first, then to be able to apply this freedom and THEN, when I would become free to take responsibility but it works the other way around.
First, I take responsibility for what I accept and allow and then I apply practical knowledge.

I have grown up in a little village wherein things were not always easy and simple, when I was a kid I had to take care many things what seemed to be overwhelming, like taking care animals, gardening, I had to wake up early, travel to school, often walk kilometers to be able to learn computer science and my days were so busy that all I ever wanted is to have my free time, when nothing to do, when I am my own and it seemed like it never gets enough. I've became an adult and in a way I was split within - one part of me wanted to learn, know, explore, expand, understand about what is this all about, what is life, creation, how we came around, where are we going, what is behind the scenes, what is power, why people suffer - and I had another aspect, who always wanted to just get a least responsibility and be able to just fly around so to speak, to have no impact to the world, yet to just be able to enjoy not being dragged, chained, bound to anything and anyone.

I've came to the conclusion that freedom is lack of responsibility and with freedom one can gain awareness. I was wrong! The less responsibility I perceived I had - the less I was free, because I was bound to my idea and definition of freedom and I always noticed the pattern, the time-looping within myself that in fact I was not expanding anymore - there is this term: my life became recreational.
It is a term what people use to a certain type of drug-usage: to re-create the same experience over and over and over again.

I have accepted and allowed to create cycles within and as my beingness, my life, my relationship, my reality what I've defined first as my freedom, and then it always became my prison which then I had to break through and this fueled me to gain power and discipline myself to have the ability to change.
I've became the pattern over the previously mentioned pattern to gain and lose everything within cycles.

What the problem was that I did not want to be responsible for the consequences of my living, actions - but it always became obvious and that blocked my feeling of freedom, because how I could be free if I deliberately, indirectly participate within neglect or abuse.

I had my first salary and my pocket was full with dope and I had the taste of freedom having enough money to eat anything - that made me more high - I had no idea what would be more free than being able to eat whenever, wherever and whatever I want.
Then walking down the street and looking the hungry homeless I had this guilt - which did not really solve anything, but I've felt uncomfortable, even when I gave them some money - I wanted to make everything right but at the same time I was unable to do anything because I have almost sworn to avoid responsibility.

Then I've realized something: that in fact I am always responsible, regardless of I take, accept, embrace it or not.

That made me really uncertain - regardless of any spiritual/psychedelic/shamanic experiences I've exposed myself to - it was just never satisfying because the freedom I wanted, always just tasted but never had.

When found the Desteni principles as I am always equal and one with all what I accept and allow and in that every single human being is equally responsible for the current state of this earth - I realized that I've all missed the real meaning of responsibility, which is in fact the freedom I never could find before.

The freedom is to choose who I am and to live that according to my actions and consequences for my and others within the principle of give as would like to receive is self-responsibility.

That is to stand within this oneness and equality and standing up to all as equal as one as myself is responsibility - and within that there is no separation on assisting and supporting myself and others - because there is no difference, there is no separation.

This is the starting point of taking responsibility for what I am and what I accept within myself and what I do not accept - in terms of thoughts, feelings, emotions - only me can know and ensure that these are aligned with what is best for all including myself. Only I can be aware of a spiteful thought and it's origin, the fear and only me can understand how and why I've ended up facing this and within that to dare to commit myself to stop it and what it takes in practical reality to be able to stop all aspects of self-limitation, self-delusion, spite, fear.

Because what I accept within is equal and one with what I accept and allow in reality - that is who I am and that is with I accumulate to have an impact to others as well.
Even when I do not act has consequence, if I stand still, sit down, turn my back to things, events in this world - what I take responsibility for is all who I can be.

The interest is an 'interesting' word - well - what is my interest, what it's limit - it's completely up to me - it is only myself, my surrounding, which is called as 'self-interest' or can I expand my interest - my responsibility - my awareness - to all what is here?

It's a decision, a realization, from which one has to find practical ways to become really aware and responsible.

If I have something within me which bothers me - occupies me, limits me - it is my responsibility to stop - and if I expand my awareness, if I let go the separation between me and the world around me, if extend my responsibility to what bothers me not only within, but also in the world.

What compromises to live our lives to reach our utmost potential also is my responsibility, all the limitations and atrocities, neglect, abuse, disregard is happening in this world is also my responsibility - not only mine, but my standing up to it is not being defined about how many of us stands up. I stand up because this is who I am and this is what compromises who I am as LIFE because any abuse I accept and allow - I can take responsibility for it or don't but it's still here, it's still happening until it's not stopped.

The justification and excuse in humans mind can be so extensive for the protection of their own self-defined 'freedom', just as I've defined previously my own freedom with the idea of 'having the ability not wanting therefore choosing not to be responsible'.
By that experience one can find an experience of freedom, choice, even self-defining this to be one's own responsibility but this is just a bubble.
And all bubble bursts.

Within principled living one can stand up to take responsibility step by step accumulating self-direction, self-trust and self-will to understand and change, to have a power to stop the compromises we accept to ourselves and each other in the name of avoiding Self-responsibility. This can give motivation, stability, consistency, direction and power to apply this responsibility to act in each moment according to what is best for all.

Self comes first within re-defining who I am and what I am responsible for. To be honest about who I am and what I am responsible for. Within investigating what I accept within me and why I allow it - I understand how it's created and becoming aware of it I can find the potential to stop, to change.

As I realize what I am able to change within me, such as self-dishonesty, doubt, distractions, fear - I am becoming effective to deal with facts, to be able to express this change into my reality as equal as one.

I find it unacceptable that there is no such thing as unconditional life support for each and every single human being on this earth. If I could choose as responsible for existence, I would not sit still and accept and allow it happening.
This then takes to the investigation, research, study, expansion of how it could be changed - how to ensure that everyone is being taken care of? It takes to the systems, manifestations of what are directing the forces what grants some living and prevents others from accessing it? It is the currently accepted money system, within which we all participate, it is part of the human experience - and to understand where it originates from, the education, the law, the accepted 'nature' of humanity, then it can be changed. It requires the same amount of accumulation what was required to manifest it's current state, just within the consideration of all.

To prove that I can change and express it into this world - I can share a living example of why and how to change myself and thus the world and that is why I am committing myself to walk the process of self-responsibility.

[JTL Day 199] 10. Making Love Visible part 5

Continuing with 10. Making Love Visible part 1 and part 2 and part 3 and part 4 as a point within my Declaration of Living Principles.

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have not realized that actual real love starts with exploring what is  not love, what is self and within that what self is not and thus the actual self-forgiveness of stopping what is not self-honest within my action.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that real love means it is visible and here in and as the physical and thus it is the act of walking out of the mind and walking into and as the physical body breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I have not realized the point of real, visible, practical love as "give as you would like to receive" and "thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" as simple, effective, measurable way to establish what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to create bubbles within my perception of separation, interest of myself, fear of change, limiting myself thus not be able to recognize the only way out of the past through practical equality and thus re-defining words to live according to the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that the universal truth and source and destination is love and when not being able to find/experience/express it unconditionally, defining existence as delusion and not realizing that only my starting point was delusion, and all I've accumulated as manifested consequence within this delusional starting point is also here in and as the physical what I am responsible for.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I am responsible for what I accept and allow to manifest in this world in relation to the word love and all it is here is who I allowed myself to be accumulated to become as equal as one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself with the idea of I must define love according to one person and define that one person as the subject/goal/interest of my love only and disregard anything else and defining my purpose as to be close, be with and be of mine of the person of the definition of my love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and my idea of love according to the polarity game of the mind as hate/love and realizing that none of those can be real love as it is always of friction/energy/reaction/consciousness/judgement/separation and thus always conditioned; - conned and thus can not stand the test of time and within that not realizing that all feeling of love as a bubble will inevitably burst thus if I would take refugee within such delusion, especially when being aware of what I actually do - I would be directly responsible for the choose of self-interest-based love experience instead of a physical-visible-love reality.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that I've allowed myself to delude myself to be in love with someone in order to fulfill my hollowness what I've defined and experienced through and as my mind, the consciousness, the polarities of self-definitions of good and bad, positive and negative and thus creating friction, energy, reaction within my mind and body and defining it as who I am meanwhile in fact disregarding all beings equally and only considering my own interest for my own definition of love without ever questioning what I am doing and why.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define love as affection, desire, obsession, possession, reaction, arousal, anxiety, frustration, butterflies in the stomach, body parts shaking, dizziness, foggy mind, confusion, devotion, bitterness, unfulfilled, fulfillment, satisfaction, completion, adventure, excitement, happiness or any other mental/emotional/feeling/body energetic experience without realizing that these are just experiences, reactions, and real love is physical action and thus whenever I give into the energetic experience of defining/reacting to something as love is self-delusion and thus accumulating into creating bubbles in my mind which will eventually/obviously/inevitably burst and I will be at the same state/point when I've deluded myself into the experience by giving into the temptation of energy/reaction/definition/thought/feeling/emotion experience to influence/direct me instead of myself be here/direct me here/live visible, physical love here in and as the physical.

Self-correction:

When and as I experience something within me according to the word love - I stop and I let it go and I realize that love can only exist as visible, physical reality and thus whatever I participated in the mind according to the word love - it is self-dishonesty and thus I apply self-forgiveness unconditionally in and as the moment immediately and act, live, be this forgiveness as really/practically/literally stop defining love/stop defining love as experience, stop reacting to definition of love in my mind by polarity/friction/thought/feeling/emotion within seeing/realizing/understanding that if I fall into the definition of a part of the whole I am limiting myself, deluding myself, prolonging to live free/full/unconditional love by separating myself from the whole of self as equal as all and thus I stop the reaction I breathe with empty/silent mind and I act with the practical consideration of what is best for all.

When and as I feel overwhelmed, facing upcoming reaction as excuses/justifications/reasons for why I would need to separate myself/self-define love/limiting the subject of love to parts of what is here, I see/realize/understand that this is self-dishonesty and thus I stop, I stop defining, stop defending my personality within recognising the fear of change, fear of loss, fear of responsibility and I become aware what is here and what I can actually do as responsible for living a visible love in this very moment and I actually do it.

When and as I give into the energetic temptation of my mind of become occupied with knowledge and information/personalities according to what is love instead of live love from within as undefined, yet being clear on what it really means to love.

When and as I find myself buzzed around with thoughts in my head within my conscious mind - I see/realize/understand that these are absolutely irrelevant of who I am and what I am committed to live in the moment - yet those are patterns/reflections/reactions of my self-acceptances within and as the patterns/self-image/relationships in and as the subconscious/unconsious mind thus I let the thoughts go and embrace physical presence, self-direction and self-honesty and focus to what I am actually doing here.

When and as I would doubt that I am able to do or get done something without thinking/energies in my mind/doubt/questioning/fear/uncertainty/wavering - I stop and I realize these patterns do not assist and support me to be able to express myself nor within be stable/consistent/clarified/efficient or direct action here thus I let go the doubt, the reason for the doubt, the energetic strive for being animated with the reactions within and I trust myself to learn move me here unconditionally.

When and as I would stop expressing myself within worry and fear of consequence, fear of failure, fear of hurting other, fear of losing something - I realize that I am within the process of re-definition of visible, physical love within what I focus to how to stabilize myself in and as this human physical body with one breath at a time.

When and as I feel overwhelmed by desires and energetic addictions to fulfill such as arousal or want something so desperately that I feel my presence blurred - I realize that I prevent myself resisting, fighting, I always focus to what is in my mind one breath at a time and I stop it consistently and I start physically moving at the same time and by that re-aligning myself to be able to be consistent, stable, responsible and that is the way towards unconditional love what I commit myself to explore and express.

When and as I worry about being loved by another because defining it as not real I stop judging, I stop fearing and I stop running and I remain here and all influences I see within me in regarding to that experience - I stop and I stop myself reacting and I stop my mind moving and I stop all within me energizing automatically until I am here and I am clear of fear and realize that if I want I can walk away from others and I am not obliged to fear of consequence and I do not need to be dependent for being loved by another and especially it is not necessary to fear from being self-honest with myself and expressing that to others.

When and as I feel wanting to be loved I see/realize/understand that I've separated myself from myself with words/reactions/energies and the solution is not to fight/strive/seek that love outside of me but to realize that the very need for it was not real, only as a perception - yet to realize that it is alright to enjoy to share myself, to share with others and live equality one breath at a time.

When and as I fear from trusting someone who tells me being fallen in love with me because foreseeing that the person will stop feeling that way and then will change, will change that apparently called love toward me and whatever I've considered as real/consistent/trustable will change and go away and go away and it is to realize that I can anticipate all and all things human can feel/react as I am being aware those within myself as well and it is completely up to me what I decide to live and who I share myself with and the only point I can trust within this is absolute self-honesty and if not being within that certainty then it is obvious that I have something within my mind moving me thus in that moment I do not hope, I do not worry, I perfect myself according to this connection and decide for myself what I am going to live and how I ensure that I will remain within or without that no matter what because this is who I am and if any way whatsoever I allow myself to be unstable within blaming towards anyone I stop myself and I realize it is always me who is responsible for me thus I take my considerations/decisions/commitments and words/actions seriously.

When and as I have reaction to the word love, such as thoughts/positive or negative/ feelings/emotions as positive or negative - I realize it is the self-interest what judges and decides it is good/neutral/bad and it is not who I really am but how I've allowed myself to perceive this world and the events through and as my mind which I commit myself to stop participate within by investigating/seeing into me/writing out the patterns/wording the experiences/events and realizing the points I've fallen into self-dishonesty and forgiving myself for accepting myself as and applying a practical, physical, doable, measurable correction with which I stop the self-dishonesty within and with my expression as equal as one.

When and as I am being asked how to explain or express what is love or what it means to me or being asked that is it real or is it the greatest force or just how I see it - I simply answer that love is equality, love is the give as I would like to receive and the only love can be real is what entails all what is here equally and in practical terms what it means is to give to all what I am getting such as food, shelter, education, health care, water and this is the basic for the real baseline for any love at first and until it is not established on earth then love still require to be manifested in this existence what I see as responsibility, I am responsible for and in fact equally as all.

When and as I face someone who is telling me that has fallen into love with me I say that it is not something I can trust/live with - because it is already a 'fall' which is obviously not self-directed self-honest self-stability and thus I humbly say within principled living I cannot afford such a person to be my partner without a blink and without a self-blame that I am causing the other feeling bad by refusing her within realizing that it is the mind what the other experiences, not me, I am just a trigger point, no matter how harsh and heartless this might sound I trust myself and within these principles and I welcome the other to consider to live within principled living.

When and as I would become unsure/confused/desperate/feeling hopeless within how to actually manifest real unconditional physical love in this world I stop and see/realize/understand that the law/monetary/educational/political forces are what are the most fundamental influences to humanity thus I am re-aligning my commitments within investigating/approaching/participating/directing those manifestations as life as myself as all as equal as one as practical, measurable, physical love and accumulate actions what is best for all.

Self-commitment:

I commit myself to stop running from the words and my reactions to the words in relation to LOVE and realize that I am able to re-define who I am in relation to the words and how to stand as who and what to express and I can change myself according to words with self-investigation, self-forgiveness, writing, self-commitments, self-correction statements to find out what would mean practical, physical, visible love which is best for me and all equally.

I commit myself to share the physical love which is equality, to share my realizations to the word love and how to change myself to love myself and all others equally and how to establish a trust within myself and with others with physical, unconditional, practical love with the principles of 'give as you would like to receive'.

I commit myself to stop deluding myself with the feelings/butterflies/energetic highs of the self-defined energetic movements as love and stop lying to myself that when I am being affected/attracted to/get aroused to and feel desired to someone that it is love and see it as it is: a mind-possession what can be/ should be and in fact must be transcended by understanding/stopping participating within it and correcting myself in relation to that.

I commit myself to be proud that I am clarifying that the love I commit principle myself to express as visible, physical, practical, unconditional love and trusting myself that it is who I am and this is what I stand for and dare others to stand up to as responsible for all life equally.

I commit myself to share my realization of that if I stand for all within existence as equal as one then I can not fall anymore and whatever I do it is the process of re-alignment, the unification, the self-perfection within becoming responsible for all equally as unconditional love which is only real when it is here for all in fact, regardless of race/gender/country/age/any parameter and recognizing that it is doable, can be manifested.

I commit myself to not fear making mistakes by walking the process and expression of making love visible and whenever I see self-dishonesty or imperfection within the practical physical application of self-honesty then I rather act immediately and change myself/re-align myself and use the tools of desteni as self-forgiveness/self-commitment/self-correction to accumulate the process of self-realization for standing up for all as equal as one, in this world, on this earth, within this human system.

I commit myself to stop worry from partnership within considering all what I experienced in the past and interpreting that in any way in relation to self-limitation by letting go in each moment all I've defined and reacted to and give a new moment of clear/empty mind moment to embrace what is here and live in the here-ness of the physical and whenever I face unknown/change I see it as a challenge, as learning self, exploring self, living self.