[JTL 120] Review, Location: TV Series Mind Patterns part 7

I am walking with the TV Series, Movie influenced Mind series with a review today of where we are now before continuing further:

[JTL 114] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 1

[JTL 115] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 2

[JTL 116] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 3

[JTL 117] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 4

[JTL 118] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 5

[JTL 119] Self-correction: TV Series Mind Patterns part 6

So I was exploring some aspects of self-acceptance in regards to thoughts, feelings, emotions on the point of TV Series, Movies.

Walking through this I am more aware and already see the reaction becoming less 'loud' within towards film - the letting go of identification with energetic experience is a process what takes time - and not the intensity but the consistency is what relevant within absolute dedication.

There is no reason I am doing it from thought perspective - it is just I am doing this as it is obvious how I am becoming more and more stable within myself and the thing I am writing today about is that people think, believe that by this letting go I am less 'sensitive' or 'able to' experience things what people define as positive.
There is noting of that kind - the reason is not even the fear and detachment from the 'negative' experiences - rather than being able to slow down and stop within to a degree as self-realization that becoming aware that both polarities are of the mind - not real and beyond them is reality.
Reality is a word what has been misused so many ways, especially when used in the context of perceptional reality - through the mind each one's reality is different.

That is just a virtual reality - not direct, physical reality - but energetically induced within physical - experienced separated through and as the mind - so the human being is not here - only physically.
The person I think myself to be - I define myself as preferences, likes, dislikes, fears, desires, memories, skills, possessions, obsessions - thoughts, feelings, emotions - that is not physically here - only in the human computer. And without the energy - it is nothing.
And that energy is not direct physical energy but gained through the mind - the energetic experience, the light of the mind, the feelings, emotions, the charge, the light within - that is not who we really are but of consciousness systems manifested in and as human physical body, programmed through words.

That is why to deal with words within awareness, direction, principle is assisting and supporting discipline, presence, stabilization and life-aware self-realization.
As Life is not consciousness, not mind, life is the origin from we separated ourselves through the energy and physical substance but still, who we are: is here.
Walking the words what I forgive - I disengage the reaction what has formed to be almost automatic - and I can choose.

I walk through layers, each destonian walks through their own layers of mind and one by one investigate, forgive, realign and stop and that is the process of birthing ourselves from the physical as life, as equality as oneness.

We see this essence within each being in existence and realize the inevitability of the practical unification so we walk ourselves day by day - what is not yet commonly understood, accepted, but still - it is who we are.

My individual life has been around books, movies, TV series and computer games, drugs, relationships, energy and art - so these words are my personality matrix which through I can walk until I am becoming aware which aspect of me is not Self-honest and I see/realize/understand exactly the pattern and I stop.

And the more I stop - the more I see the greater perspective and to be able to realize which is best for all is a process but from a point it is obvious: equalizing power, resources and energy in and as the physical, the mind, all ways, so then the fear, the surviving, the desire can stop and we simply start living and enjoy Self-expression in a system wherein we are able to ensure not only our greatness but others as well: equally granting the same goods what we enjoy, starting from the basics, as food, shelter, water, education, health care: this is required for each human for a healthy life.

We are the building bricks in the system, it is not to blame, but to realize the practical way to form groups where the principle for all life can be practically measured, ensured and shared.

That is why we propose an Equal Money System - not, because we love so much money, but who we are currently is Mind Consciousness Systems as human energy system driven by thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires and as Global Economy, Monetary System fueled by money, gold, oil, diamonds etc.

When we group all resources and distribute to everyone to live - we give as we would like to receive - and for the first time we could trust the system what we create: that we do not have to fear from tomorrow and as our neighbor will not fear as well, they will not rob me out, they will not go to war - they will enjoy their family, their self-expression, their life.

In the beginning of course there would be some overcomes to face - but still - through time, with proper education we could heal the paranoia, the surviving.

Who cares how many generations it would take if we just can have chance from today? - Is not right to try our best it? I'd rather try to manifest than live a life all time saying 'well, it sucks, but that is who we are'.

So that is why there are ways what are practically working and there are what not.
And walking the Journey to Life for 7-14 years: it works, anyone who walks it - can ensure it within Self-honesty.

Because Applying the Living Self-forgiveness means facing, changing, letting go, stopping and understanding, directing and transcending.

So that is why I walk it that is why I commit myself to write every day to walk through a pattern every day and change myself in a point, day by day walking through - and it is not a work what is hard - it is who I am - so actually it can be enjoyed as Self.

Returning to the topic of Series, Films: There are some categories within Movies, Series what I have defined myself to be 'interested in'.
Such as: Sci-fi, Fantasy, Action, Art, Comedy

These types if I do not experience enough, then I go searching for that and then I can experience my reactions, my strive, my initial personality to reflect back within and as energy.

I am exploring some word-associations what with I react for what is the reason to watch Series, Movies of those kind:

Science Fiction - modern perfect mechanics, machines operated by energy and proven to be great, powerful and modern, futuristic

• Action: power, being powerful, brute force, anger, emotions, fear, loss, bravery, vengeance

• Fantasy: child tales, dragons, magic, wizards, fairies, evil, good, monsters, artifacts, fate

• Art: beauty, deep, profound, transcendental, meaningful, moving, twisting and shivering

• Comedy: humor, life force, laugh, cheer, feelings, romantics

So I will continue decomposing with these words what I am in relationship THROUGH the mind of thoughts, feelings, emotions and not LIVING directly as SELF HERE so therefore I am as starting point responsible for the perceived separation, the strive for dualistic mind of being in and as experience of Consciousness Systems.

I suggest to investigate how human mind operates

Also I suggest to research how our lives are being directed, influenced by Money

And To explore the practical understanding of our economy, our monetary system, educate Self within Common sense

Never too late to start exploring Self-support with the FREE course of Desteni I Process LITE

And read many-many 7 Years to Journey to Life blogs daily here, written by normal individuals who realized the effectiveness of daily writing of Self-forgiveness, Self-correction.

[JTL 96] Stop Energy Motivation Part 2

This is the continuation of

• [JTL 94] Stop Energy Motivation Part 1

  
It is to realize that by stopping actually I do not mean forcing myself to stop within an image and likeness of 'what is best for all' by 'giving up' my dreams, desires, but within Self-investigation(what is by itself proves that I do not know who I am, how I've became who I do not know who am I), exploring Self-intimacy, Self-honesty I am realizing that all what I 'contain' as memories, motivations, desires, images and pictures and ideas of who I want to be or should be are based on Self-dishonesty, fear and are conditioned to energetic states of my mind, as induced by thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Many times it already happened: what I dreamed of and wanted so badly, by circumstances I did let it go and then it came and I got it - for instance several musical instruments - and then I've perceived myself as 'changed' and 'not interested that much anymore that to actually go for it' then it was just here and that also influenced me.

This whole spiritual agenda within what 'you just wish for it and be positive and the mind is a wish-making jewel, just if you are on your path, all your dreams will be fulfilled' - so then I've fallen into self-definition by this idea:
-to get something I do let it go and then it will come back anyways - and when it comes, it is 'mine' anyway and then I realize it is not really me, yet it is here, and still I react to it therefore it is of and as me anyways as energy relationship within my mind.

And then I tried to just 'let go things and then I will get it if I really let them go' - but that is completely changed already.

As this spiritual agenda was really for me like this: to find emptiness in everything is actually find the emptiness within me about everything, meaning all I had was not real, empty, made-up by thoughts, feelings, emotions but then those stopped, changed, then the thing I was on to find out it is 'empty' - my relationship with it in my mind - as it formed, it's gone - so all that part of me was then defined as 'empty'.

And that emptiness is not real, but defined by self's relationship so in a greater perspective it is obviously not empty, I am not empty but tainted, infested with the relationship to the definition of emptiness. Strange but it is not self-honest.

Because to say everything, everyone is empty: it is a definition - my stomach can be empty - but in relation to my mind - if I am empty ABOUT IT - I must be equal and one with it because there is no inner movement, no inner definition, judgment, feeling, nothing - so then I am undefined about it, I have no 'relationship' with it in and as the mind so I can be here as it is and be directly equal and one with it without the mind.

So then for me the 'emptiness' would mean as a definition to it's relationship to the mind what is kind of swampy area to explore if we are not using common sense, because if we do, certainly it is already a philosophical bullshitting instead of get real and be practical about it: I am here, if I am reacting, I am not here but of judgment, of past as Self-dishonesty because the already existing relationship within and as self, projected to the ob-sub-ject I experience myself reacting to.

So then the motivation within and as myself towards these relationships I form and create, maintain and participate within is who I am in and as the so to speak beingness of me: this I've realized quite some years ago as 'empty', 'illusion' - and therefore I was after some methodologies, ways to manifest and stabilize this realization simply by remaining undefined, aware of the breath etc.

That is being offered by many these spiritual agendas, many -ism, who claim they have this practical knowledge to forge manifested realizations by this seed of awareness of 'emptiness' within ourselves however after doing some Desteni Education one can easily pick up the lack of common sense, the nonsense and contradiction within these 'teachings'.

I used to enjoy a video 'the guru hunter' who goes to India and does this 'demon hunt' from screwed women from who he pulls the demon out and does tricks like blood comes from eggs etc then everyone believes him and after it he exposes himself as trick-con-man doing simple tricks what uneducated people sees as magic.

So anyone wants to become able to expose illusion, con-men, lame gurus and false masters should join Desteni Courses as within walking that one can unlearn the fog of mind and learn common sense and Self-honesty and explore what is real, what is possible and what would be the practical solutions which is in fact mathematically could be proven as what is best for all.

As long I do not understand how my motivations, desires, dreams are ticking within me - I am just a reaction machine to outer circumstances.

Weaknesses I call these however within being Self-honest and to write down these and see them in front of myself and acknowledging - I am already one step ahead to stop the self-automation by starting to have QUESTIONS: WHY am I reacting to this with that?
What is this energy what motivates me, within me?

And then I realize that was based on a memory, an experience, wherein I had so much energies running through my mind and body and that the mind measures, takes samples, stores it with relationship to words, pictures, memories and then layer by layer, condition by condition, reaction by reaction, definition by definition: Personality has born, Character was born, EGO was created as this idea of Self, a religion within believing and fear from losing is actually me and from the energy motivation I FEEL - the same way it FEELS as me, I feel right to have human right to actually have believing within me and who I perceive myself to be but when I start to apply the Desteni tools, Self-honesty, writing, Self-forgiveness and walk what comes next to See, Realize, Forgive, I explore what I am accepting and allowing - then common sense is to stop, as it is of systems, all of systems we have became and then by this - as it is a skill, anyone who can deal with the simple math of 1+1=2 can walk Self-honesty and accumulate Self-realization.

So then I do not 'give away', 'let go' my 'desires' and I do not 'see and define' myself and my relationships as 'empty' and then I do not resign, renounce, but I simply realize it was never really me, the whole starting point, the reaction, the automation, the physical beingness I've formed about it was not who I really am, therefore it is simply common sense to stop.
And if there is force to stop, like - I want to have that thing or this woman but I know it is not right yet I am compelled to almost do what I know I should not and then I force myself to stop: it is still not Self-honesty - it is self-manipulation by the very thing I want to realize as not myself but still holding to: energy.

So then when it is natural, disciplined(because at times requires, for instance with addictions) to put my discipline, focus, the motivation to the experience where I see that I am being tempted with - with Self-dishonesty then I realize the motivation what I am still being defined is not really me, so then I re-define motivation, re-define myself based on the fact that I am in and as a reality wherein there are billions, trillions of beings where if my motivation does not include all what is here, I am separated from what is here, I am separated from myself, so then I motivate myself by practically considering in and as this very situation I am currently: What is best for all?

For instance when facing sexual desire - just to have somebody to have sex with, to have somebody to get physical, to let go this energetic compound of 'need to have sex to release this tension, to let go of stress' etc - then what would be best for all? To let go this energy somehow? Or considering to PREVENT it to manifest?

To even consider how and why in the first place I've created this 'need', 'desire'? And not if that is 'bad idea' to have a partner to do physical tenderness without limit but with what starting point for what result?

To just get steam off and feel good and have satisfaction? If there is someone who can agree with it and finds comfortable, why not? Why don't just then do it and have awesome experience with someone and when both feeling FANTASTIC, then coming along, be together and do it as it is good for both, then should be then: best for all!

Well, I would not stop here and continuing self-realization to is this enough, what do I expect from my partner and what I actually give and what would be the really best for her? Well, for me it could not mean just to please each other, especially when seeing that it is just for feelings, what are self-created, energetic mind-entities in order to compensate the harshness of physical reality within what many of us directly being abused, destroyed meanwhile many-many people are 'just feel good' together and say 'we are in love, alright, we feel good about each other, everyone should do the same, it's awesome!' - meanwhile many are even unable to drink water enough to remain alive.

So then the Self-honesty would mean to see priorities: what is more important, my feelings, and my partner's feelings about my feelings, or to actually head on reality and investigate practical solutions.

Well within Self-honesty it is also obvious that solutions for all from where we, as humanity stand today, then one might consider her/his location today currently and where is the stability point that to actually remain effective, meanwhile to be with someone, yet not just in a bubble of self-interest feel of love about the partner, family, mates - which obviously seems logical as priority, especially to parents - who are little gods for their kids.
But the responsibility is not ends here, and one can expand within Awareness and Responsibility, oneself, family, friends, country, the planet, existence - and if one finds out that at this moment have the capacity to take care only about the money what is required for family to eat properly - well that's it but within Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness, Self-change one can change reality.

So then to find the balance and equality within all aspects of ourselves and life without having stressed, but not mind-blessed with energy as addicted to feel good - it is already a tough challenge in this current human system.

So then I check motivation, I check reactions, I check my location and I re-align if I see I am not who I want to be and if I do not understand, if I am confused, if I am unsure, I sit down and write it out all with no judgment, no fear to see what I am accepting and allowing - and then I see what must be done, stopped, removed from me, especially the addiction towards feel good because there is something within already for needing this, it's like an inherent, self-accepted nature of myself of by default feeling bad for needing to feel good more than by default.
And then I investigate, I share - this is not who I really am, only currently, maybe today - and then I change.

I have this energy moving within what tries to direct me to go and just form sexual relationship with someone, I do not accept this as myself, I do not really want to just have sex with someone just because I have this urge to do sex - because if I see myself - I not just want sex, I want care, equality, support, agreement - so then to just go out and have sex - will not be this, well, maybe, but highly unlikely.

So then I face the next question how to establish effective agreement with somebody, am I ready for that? I had this for years 'feeling' 'I am not ready' - and then overwhelmed by sexual desire towards images, pictures, mostly induced by porn and movie industry - I was like, I am ready, I should do it meanwhile all what I've formed with different individuals had the starting point of what moved towards it.

And it is still not 'bad' - but if I know it, I should be aware of what it will become, as starting point, consequence - and then anticipate and see - do I have agreement with myself first about it? And then can I agree with somebody on it which can be practical in this 3d physical world? That is common sense.

My relationship was around this sex thing what is cool however I tried to pretend it is not and when there were sexual temptations I was shaking(not physically, but as standing within agreement) because of that - so then by walking Agreement Course I have realized, still realizing what is my starting point, what do I really want, not just energy, and consequence of relationship with motivation and energy manifested as sexual desire, but actually what I would really want if I would be free of energy motivations moving me temporary. So then I have realized so much already what I do not want - which is at least equally important to what I want - and then to say no to that it is not that hard anymore. Because feeling of energy will not last - I want consistency which is not of energy for sure as energy is of conditions, definitions, feelings, what is self-interest if not considering all life.
Even when it is about a one night stand with somebody who even is a beautiful woman but for what I really want, not just energy fix, it is not who I really am, so to say no is not like 'very hard' if I can consider more than my feelings only. I do not say one night stands and spontaneous stuff is bad, I do not define it - if I participate, then I participate - some say I should - some say I should not - for me for quick fix it could work, as it did some times, but for long term I rather walk Self-forgiveness and stop the energetic mind for long term, that is my fix and then the more I do, the more I am able to see more far than my energetic mind, even supporting others as myself as equal as one.

That is what I wanted to share around, as the comments in the previous post: that when I realize what moves me is not really me, to let go is not uneasy - when it is uneasy, it is still the journey of understanding what I have allowed myself to became, even when I am already aware of what must be done, manifested, stabilized, such as not thinking when I wake up, not thinking when I take a shower, not thinking while considering my days ahead, not thinking while going to work, definitely not thinking while working, speaking with others, but directly be here, honest, expressing every detail of my beingness what is in the moment and having the direct presence here, with others, with reality, not in the mind, not through thoughts, definitions, concerns, fears, desires, pictures - those are the past -- sometimes cool to look back and have a retrospective review of myself and see who I am here, but while in and as the day, in action - there is no place of inner judgments.

And when it is 'feels like' physically compelled to react, then it is already physically manifested as systems as physical mind, then it is to accumulate Self-direction to stand equal and one with and as Self here and to Breathe, to Stop, to not participate and let it go in every moment, while thoughts arise: those are the signs of inner separation - and in this phase of stopping - I am becoming more and more here, back to reality, wherein each moment actually is and thinking is in the secret room, while action is physical.

It's like a kung fu, or commando or plane pilot thing: if you think for a second, so much things happen in that second that even for reacting to one thought: you are completely out of context, of moment, of flow of presence, consistent awareness and the consequence is always accumulates.

So that is my point today, to do not stop investigating reasons, starting points, WHY-s until it is clear what I want, is this aligned with 'What is best for all?' because otherwise inner reactions will arise and that is the sign of Self-dishonesty.

----
My reaction after 6 seconds writing this down in one session:
-shall I review it, shall I re-read it, what if there is typo, what if my English made me write something what is not even understandable, what if I wrote too much gossip and not direct Self-support?
Well then it is not a thought either - I push it here, everything is here - myself and the keyboard, the screen, physical, I am here - and then this 'space of thoughts' become the space of 'reality' meanwhile I am empty.
So then I forgive myself that I have this inner reactions, what I pushed here and yet still energy moves within - and then I must say that I know how good it feels this energy, after long years of mind-blowing drugs and lots mind sex I know, when this energy moves can feel so right - but within Self-honesty - there is difference when this energy is in fact fear - sophisticated separation from physical, from body, from self is this energy and the very reason of separation from here is fear, so this energy that's why feels good, easy joy, self-made up, the greatest con-science, our own Mind-Consciousness as we are able to program our own mind with words and reactions to these in relationship to anything to just feel good, see the rapist, the abuser, the sadist: they all say: it feels good, based on thoughts, mind.

And then there is a second layer, by these writings there is some energy moving, around solar plexus - suppression, automatic reaction - that is also me - that is also significant, that I am not even entirely aware: that is manifested fear what must be investigated. As this energy also will compound. And the personality I've formed and created by learning from others, parents, school, media is how I deal with energy: doing sex to release, doing drugs to charge out, having sport, doing more job, spending money or whatever the person had formed with energy and to deal with, produce, have relationship with feelings, energy: is what must be in relation to practical understanding and effective accumulation towards What is Best for All.

So then there is what Bernard wrote about personal process, to deal with inner energies of mind, of feelings, of self-stability, then head on and deal with interpersonal as agreements with partner, others, family, workspace - and then there is the universal process: wherein facing world-wide systems of energy, such as economics, politics, military, environmental, animal kingdom, ecology, the whole planet - that is another level of energy and all in are equal and one relationship therefore in every moment one is aligned with the Principle of 'Give as you would like to receive' - then it is What is best for all - and when is not then there is a problem, energy compounds, what cause friction, conflict, abuse, destruction on personal, interpersonal, universal level on the same mathematical equation what is always 'counts': 1+1=2.

That is why here we promote Effective Solutions as Equal Money, Living Income Guaranteed, what could be pretty common sense, meaning being able to sensed, felt commonly in a very practical way of and as the principle of 'No Man Left Behind' as Thou Shalt Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself.
And remember: this should be pretty obvious and if it is not, then you are not able to apply Common Sense, therefore remediation, re-education, unlearning, re-aligning is required which is also provided by Destonians who already realized what is really the priority, not based on feelings of self-interest only but of all's interest:

• Desteni I Process Lite, to learn to change and trust Self-honesty as Life as ourselves
• Desteni I Process Pro for the ones who are dedicated to be responsible for Education, Leadership
• Desteni I Process Agreement Course to find out what is Agreement with Self, with Partner and those who are effective within it since decades have built this course to share their realizations within walkable lessons to realize what we really want and why we really want to become

[JTL 66] Absolute Self-honesty Here is the Only Real Home

I write again about tiredness, thoughts, it was worthy, I did not wander that much in the mind but after some days I did not direct this within consistency so then happened again:
I was in bed while already awaken yet physically looking like still sleeping while I was thinking, pictures came in the mind, having thoughts as silently judging one after an other and once again: I say, ENOUGH and I physically wake up and focus myself to what is here.

After wrote the post about it:

• [JTL 64] Breathing presence versus tiredness of mind

I was judging myself that 'well, it was cool', yet I did not JUDGE that it is enough, yet I did not accumulate this as Self-direction into and as Consistency so then it did not really MATTER to the fact that today I was allowing and accepting it again.
And I trust myself to a degree that I am sure that this is important - really - because it is the starting point of my day: it influences, directs, determines who I am whether I acknowledge it or not.
While I write here and I suppress my breathing or even if I CONTROL my breath pretending being aware of what is really here: to realize and not accept it: it is hell, important!
I talked with somebody yesterday and I told him that if I go into automation, if I am allowing myself to degrade myself into a self-automated reaction-organic machine - nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care - how anyone would realize if we all do the same damn thing?
But to accept myself this way and not direct myself each day to do the actual and only relevant job in my life to sort this out is really something what can piss me off and after all no one we can blame for what we experience as ourselves because each and every single thought is a judgment in our own court, in our own backyard meanwhile we focus on problems in the country, trying to see beyond the curtain while it is all here as ourselves within and as each moment.

What I see in this very moment that I have taken granted something what is not here as awareness - within going into activities what I did not understand, seemingly irrelevant, innocent while in fact I am reacting to it, I am accepting my own relationship towards my own thoughts related to external influences, even in a very simple thing: watching a film, playing a game.
Then the breeze flows through my backbone as emotions I accumulate and I am not aware of what is really going on.
The spiritual agenda promotes this as free love and liberating energy meanwhile if I look it as it is - self-accepted slavery by the simple fact that I do not know what is this exactly - I see only that I see, hear things and I have reaction and I react to this inner reaction and then this feeling arise and by that I am entertained then I scratch my head about what am I doing?

I started to watch some new episodes of a series I've watched before and my thoughts were like: This is not that cool as the old ones, well it isn't funny, ah okay, sometimes it is funny, but overall, it is not good enough.
And after bombarding myself into this reactions and got tired and went to sleep - just waking up to the realization that I lost presence and lost principle and this might seem to be hard and too harsh but this is how we accumulate lack of self-direction, self-empowerment, self-realization and that is why we just watch the news about everything is sinking and being ruined and literally we do not even understand it exactly the same way we apparently do not get how we operate in and as our minds towards the very experiences we take refugee within apparently by our own choice what is a joke if we try to DIRECTLY change ourselves, it is like a mountain of judgments, reactions we have built in our past what apparently gives the RIGHT to agree with ourselves that this is who we are and should be prevailed in all costs.

So it is not a game to re-align myself and commit myself to walk the mind within consistency, as I see that even in 1-2 days it accumulates quite fast to a degree that for hours I am automated into a self-interest reaction machine and my friends, family, workmates, neighbors can not assist me in this one because they are not aware of it as they are not aware of their OWN automated mind as well so the cards are in my hand so to speak and I must admit that the bet is not only myself but my surroundings, my reality what is being shared with others so then even if I do not move my ass and raise my voice and use my hands to sort out the mess for myself then at least for the principle of What is best for all I should - if I want to look into the mirror of eternity and I do.

So self-correction is required to specify and not just write and say about it but to fine tune and be practical and literally transform myself in all ways to PREVENT myself to go into the thought-chain of self-judgment degradation by the addiction to energy, the slavery of polarity, the delusion of the mind, the religion of self, it does not matter how we call it, but if you get it, you know what I mean, and if you don't, start your own research, study:
DESTENI I PROCESS LITE is invaluable to have basic LIFE skills for what it means to develop practical skills to walk out the self-dishonesty of our own mind.

When and as I experience tiredness - I remember to not define myself as tired - I see within that this tiredness is actually real - as physical as body - or is it just lack of energy of mind so I stop, I let everything go and I consider that do I need to rest or do I need to do something to let go this tiredness of mind such as a relaxation for a couple of minutes or requiring to hydrate or eat something and if yes then doing so otherwise I stop and allow myself to let everything go what is not physically here.

When and as I experience that I am tired as not being here as physically as presence within breathing - I realize then this self-defined tiredness is of and as mind so I stop and see what i am doing/experiencing within and is that really self-honest or am I talking to myself within or am I thinking about myself or am I lack of direction.

When and as I think about something I realize this is the source and the destination of my tiredness as by thinking I will be tired as mind and when I am tired I think so it is a trap of 22 so I stop and I direct myself to stop thinking.

When and as I experience myself stressed I stop and I breathe - I realize I am stressed because of a particular specific fear what I am not aware of so within stopping myself I look within and see what is moving within and that is of and as fear as inner reflection as backchat for instance as thoughts what then I direct myself to stop participating and regard what is here physically.

When and as I am becoming angry to something, I realize I am becoming angry at myself what I have programmed myself to suppress quite soon so then after some moments I will not be aware of, I will not remember, I will not understand unless I assist and support myself with practical Self-honesty as Writing, Sounding, Recording, and Sharing as Self-forgiveness and Self-correction what can be practically stabilized within consistency therefore I do not lose Self-direction, I do not 'adventure away' with another thoughts of judgments of 'this is important' or 'this is cool realization' or 'this I should do' or 'after this activity, later on I should write about it' - because that is excuse and I realize it and I walk through it, and I push myself into direct action to stop the internal, delusional 'self-living' through and as thoughts, feelings and emotions and I bring myself here into and as physical beingness and I allow myself to breath my body properly, naturally, and I stop directing my breathe by judging it that then it is 'Self-direction' because that is only for some moments until I judge myself as 'now I am brought back here' and then I follow another judgment - this also I stop and I simply am here and not by any force but as Self-decision, Self-direction, Self-honesty.

When and as I see, realize, understand that I do not do my daily commitment of writing within Self-honesty, I realize it is a judgment, a hope and in fact an occupation what has the starting point of fear, fear of not having enough time, fear from fall behind from something I've judged as value meanwhile the only real value of myself is to walk out from self-judgments within consistency.

I commit myself to re-align myself with daily writing within structure, to find a rhythm with I can write without force, without any con or interest but as Self-honesty.

I commit myself to not take refugee within the religion of self as hope, as fear but to assist and support myself with practical consistency within writing, sounding, exploring and stabilizing Self-forgiveness in each moment.

I commit myself to wake up in the morning as moment as me, as breath as me, as life as Self-honesty each day and not accepting thoughts and energetic simulations but waking up directly in and as one moment and being here physically and whatever else I experience as: happens - it is me only what must be investigated, corrected, walked through unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have never considered/realized that the real home of myself is Here within absolute Self-honesty in each moment and anything else I accept is not really who I am but of consciousness systems of fear of accumulated disregard to All Life.
I commit myself to always remember and be aware of that the home of myself is Here within Absolute Self-honesty in each moment.
When and as I disregard, forget, let go, lose the practical realization of that my only real home is Self-honesty Here in each moment - I stop whatever I participate within, I let everything go, I re-align myself with Practical Self-honesty and Equality and Oneness as Principle and I stand as the Unification of Man already to see within and as what must be stopped, released, removed from the very core of my being completely.

[JTL 62] Offtown rant on the mind

2013.06.18, Tuesday

So I've started to open up the paranoia point some posts before. I took a break because I was on a training what required full attention and brought things up and at my new place still there is no internet to expand on my other commitments.
I just slept near the biggest lake of Hungary called Balaton, in a sleeping bag on the beach, just like old times. Others are in the lake swimming around.

I write and see where it goes.

This summer I am taking to several kind of activities off town.
I am on holiday again, two weeks ago I was on an electronic dance festival, specialized to intense trance music with what with I had extensive 'experiences' and 'research' back then and I was literally experimented with my mind and body and substances and in that time that seemed to be one of the most practical ways to screw with my mind to able to stop it at least for some moments to see what is real but then I was dragged by the experience and as I was not aware of the methodology involved how it happened, I was not the directive principle so I was chained to circumstances, outer conditioning such as music, people, drugs, dancing.
Later on I am committed to write a book about my life back then - how I saw things, what I've realized and what I've experienced until found Desteni Universe wherein I was able to start to learn how to practically walk stopping the mind in real. But for now, I write this blog here.

The spiritual agenda what I was busy walking meanwhile had some glimpses of light about 'maybe that is the answer to not need drugs to stop and freeze my mind'-s time space of separation to get to direct experience. What I did not realize that the very starting point and methodology caused me always follow this carrot meanwhile everything is already - always here. However after all everyone had the shiny and lovey and enlighten and profound speeches as so called masters, gurus, lamas, rimpoches, priests, yogis etc but none I've found who lived these words as equal as one and being able to express it within life's all domain regardless, even within the 'matrix' as civilization, system, business, corporations, media, law, politics, money - that is also part of us - if we do not stop denying that these are directing our daily life - then we always remain powerless towards these.

All religious or spiritual, hinduist, buddhist, christian dudes - are occupied within the mind. How do I know? Because I can use common sense. Because they never engaged this world system - law, finance, politics - what is really the strongest part of us currently. We all can believe that saying OM in circle holding hands can save us all but meanwhile everything is being destroyed systematically by corporations and after the om-session we will be hungry and thirsty and in fear of not being able to feed our children and losing our land and forest and rivers and we all will dance as puppets by survival anyway as already doing so.

Back then I was this namaste-guy as well in India - everyone is god, I am god, so we are fucking gods and we respect each other but meanwhile we just really say that : I am screwed, you are screwed, I accept you as screwed, limited, dishonest,  you accept me as screwed, diverting and escaping so let us bot respect that and give permission to and even be positive and happy about it meanwhile no power we have, even over for our OWN mind - or in fact we are owned by  our mind, but hey, stay positive, as long as there is energy what with we can ride on the positive side - who cares what is going on, how million others are?
I had the program like this by the following: When I was not riding this positive attitude - I was experiencing negative stuff and I was seemed and judged by others as negative - and then my starting point was that I am how others define and see and react to me - so I wanted to seem positive - and then people reacted with positive!
When I was doing stuff what people did not like for instance clothing dirty and not working and blowing smoke - people were not that positive. Now I have job, bathroom and becoming more stable - people see me as positive again.
But then I was always fascinated by the negative as the EQAFE interviews explain it as well - one 'negative' one can ruin all the positive ones by the simple and only real and eternal principle existing in and as existence is Equality and Oneness.
So the infestation of ideas what by one is blocking to realize, to experience, to express and live this principle in all areas of existence is in fact a paranoia of: fearing from it, wanting more, wanting to control and who knows why.
Therefore the question mark is always a friend.
To question basically even as Leary described: Question authority - even the authority of your questioning mind because if there is a limit: it is always myself equal as one.

So at the dancing festival I've danced again - fascinating I've realized so much - how I was programmed to do certain patterns in order to accumulate energy and physical presence however it did not last - and I had my moments - perfect for apparently having the experience of being responsible meanwhile after all - not so - as the experience is gone of oneness and energy of be able to do anything - and when it's gone - I am occupied to wonder and prepare and re-gain it - it is not the solution - too much effort, too less gain.
And after all - especially when seeing these experiences within - it SEEMS to be divine however it is not really practical.
How many people can really practically be involved within law, business and political agenda to promote Basic Income Grant or Equal Rights and Money for all meanwhile high on acid and MDMA? It is maximum as rehabilitation but not even for remediation - as the solution is to understand the mind - not screw it- but know one thing - who is repeatedly taking even psychedelics for 'awakening' - it is obvious that not really grasping - therefore even the wisest speeches they can give but when  it is about to bring about a change within the current system - there is excuse - the  first is that it is alright, no problem, nothing to do - it is perfect - well, after visiting the poorest most abused countries in Asia - I could not accept that I am partying with shining light meanwhile people are starving - my ego is just too big to accept it - the only solution is to expand my ego so big that everyone can fit in - and to give as I would like to receive - it is simple yet powerful - however all excuses are exposed - taking the trip to enlightenment and once I reach it I will help for others - but until that I do not have to change, to question and stop my mind, my law of manifested beingness.
Because to be able to head on the world system requires CHANGE within and as SELF first - that is blocking our understanding, effectiveness, letting go of self-interest of addiction to self-defined positivism.

To meditate on peace and compassion meanwhile what is physically here is the fact of inequality and abuse more and more increasingly - brutal. And also who is high - can not do a thing what really matters for solution...
I've noticed it is quite an excuse - 'he/she is on a journey now - tripping, let her/him be' - but after all - if one is tripping from time to time for the same perceived as 'divine' experience - how comes that it dissolves for nothing if it is really divine. There are guys who use these things as party and fun and tribal experience without trying to be seen to be all knowing for those who just started this - that is better because after years doing so who is still busy to grasp the mystical experience and re-and relive it - is it really mystical if requires the same circumstances to reproduce over and over and over again?

Yeah, there is a reason for I do not really use spiritual terminology as it is deceptive by the fact that everyone has their own definitions towards positive and negative within their own self-interest but for the game of words in eastern teaching there is a force: they call it paramita - what brings you to the other side literally - meaning once you are through - you are done, you are enlighten, everything is shining, like Neo at the end of Matrix - and with acid - one's memory is quite liquified, not really solid, and this light experience is overwhelming, especially when one did not get used to it and then it is like that - and in some hours it is gone. And as one is got used to define self-life-reality - from that experience it is seamless to define from that experience - of course how defines is also of definition so the whole aspect of perceived self can be --- and must be fundamentally questioned because the human mind is not understood - science does not grasped it yet and psychology neither - many destonians walk now the path of psychology to re-align it with Life values and not mind-values, a psychology and science what is driven and pulled not by profit as now but the core of our understanding, the very manifestation of ourselves which is Self as Life as equal as all. If one does not understand how the mind takes on - one certainly becomes influenced, infested and controlled by themselves, inverted through, intensified by the very point of self-dishonesty which is the layers of the mind - thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, definitions... And the physical body here is used to contain and fuel this mind-self, even when one is taking the journey to the other side - regardless of the experience - after the energy is off - one is 'normal' again. 
What remains is a memory and some experience and references and maybe some wise thoughts - however when one defines it - it is worsening - defining the undefined is like rape - does not fit well and never embracing, never ever satisfying - what remains is that the judgment of the circumstances of the experience - the acid, the party, the people, the music, the dance - so then one should repeat that to re-experience - maybe this time one can get trough for real. But it is not possible. It is so obscene nonsense I do not even try to explain that.
Not because it is not fascinating stuff, but because currently I am on a trip again and my electricity is limited.
What is obvious that one should realize the circles and loops within he/she is moving.
There are simple tools with what one can screw one's mind without any effort if common sense is available.
The destonian questions are really cool viruses for the minds infected and programmed by and as self-interest.
What is best for all? seems to be like a philosophical question like who we are or where are we came from or what is good or what is bad - but to be able to answer this - it is required to step beyond the already programmed mind.

Drugs can shake the foundation of the mind but know one thing: it ONLY effects the mind - and if one has the starting point of the mind as memory, definition, thought, feeling - one is based on that - and even physical facts are superimposed by the perception of those.
And the an other fact is that one is so used to be the mind - even after moments of high drug experience - when the energy is gone - one is not directing self out of the mind, disregarding the thoughts (I am speaking about and to the ones who already grasped the realization that thoughts are the prison, for ones who are still fascinated and mesmerized by their own inner god speaking to themselves: start writing all thoughts out and see the robot of fear and realize: none of any thoughts can be trusted as it is the wall from reality) - because once one is here again - for me it requires quite some years to be able to express this simple thing:
Why do I return to thoughts, even when realized the self-deception within them?

Because knowing is one thing, but to see to what extent we are ensured that thoughts are reflecting back our oblivion - until we have thoughts - we are not honest with ourselves because in the moment of participation within the thought - we are the thought, we are disregarding what is real here.
But to see, realize and understand how we programmed and why ourselves to limit our very beingness to thoughts - Self-honesty. To dare to see that I was deceiving myself therefore all others and having the Will to stop. Even if we lose everything what we have - it was never real anyways as based on thoughts - what are of fear...

What is the real red pill with what there is no turning back is the Solution AS Self-honesty.
Once one grasps what it means within practical application - there is not a single occupation within one can get the same experience of refugee within the mind - it is tainted with the possibility of becoming much more but requires effort as resistances are also self.
Manifested as the repeated patterns one has carved into and as the physical body what is the only real of ourselves. Earth. Dust. Water.
So to deny reality is paranoia. Paranoia of missing what is beyond here.
The hope that there is more than who and what we are here.
The game of casino of chance to get free: for free.
Because it is obvious that we are confined - into and as this existence and none can see beyond the veil of death - after the human flesh experience what is existing - because the body is a programmed organic mind system manifestation. It is like I am a little drone in the game of Starcraft and trying to reach what is beyond the game - to try to figure out what is directing me by the basic and only available commands of me: move, stop, harvest, build, fight - to realize what is beyond the mind - requires a new paradigm.
What is screwing the mind is the physical. So then fear is programmed, implanted, resonated - that this physical is not enough, it is dirty, it is inferior - and once one is being directed or impacted by and as physical - fear is coming by.
Fear from losing the superiority from the mind.
There are people who are using their body quite consciously. Sportsman, dancers, fighters - they are perfecting the human body but not as direct body - but as self-interest of mind - fear from losing it therefore caring about it seems to be quite good thing - but it is of paranoia as well.
Am I healthy? Am I nice?I am good? Or once the good-ness is obviously exposed, conflict arise within - judgment, definition, separation - the thinker me, the thought and the subject of it - where am I meanwhile as physical?

Much much to realize and learn - just start writing - with the best tools in the universe:
http://lite.desteniiprocess.com
At this course, discuss it with people who understand how the mind functions really, not just lovey shiny good feeling positive vibration karma energy mind enlightenment stuff - but the real deal - how to decompose and change ourselves to explore what it means to transcend.
It is not for money - it is free and actually very simple - and then write and act and explore Self-honesty as Life.

[JTL 58] Self-judgment by default

I am continuing on my Day 4 - Self forgiveness: smiling

I was among a lot of people for the last days and I was able to notice several self-dishonesty within.

When I see someone and looking at her and him and I do smile - is of judgment - basically it is a reaction, a coverup for a judgment.
I see someone and then I think she is a very nice girl and then I smile at her - self-interest. If I would define her as ugly - I might not smile at her at all - maybe within the fear that then she might come over and then I have to deal with an ugly woman - however if the woman is very nice - then if I smile, she might be pleased that I appreciate her, probably assuming that I smile at her because finding her as attractive.

Or I see someone and I see it is a child and he/she is cute, so I smile because I experience this 'cute-ness' - meanwhile it even can happen that the child experiences some shit like anger or pain but as the event looks as picture - I pre-judged as cute and then this word comes alive within me and towards 'cute' there is the inner reaction as 'good feeling' - linked to the child - regardless of reality based on pictorial judgment. Fascinating.

Also it's like someone is throwing away garbage - near the garbage can and in fact not into the can - and then I judge the person - that 'this scumbag is a bastard' - pure self-judgment projected out - and the person might not be doing the best for all - but how we can be sure without self-honest, common sensical investigation - and maybe the person is throwing away the thing NEAR the can to bring up the demonic reaction within: anger, hate, dislike, obsessed with judging stuff already pre-defined within projected out.

So it is fascinating diversion from the inner truth - and many do this in the social circles I am currently participating - spiritual, yoga, hippie, musician people - they are all so positive and nice with each other, it's like the glue of positive reactionary ocean within people swim meanwhile the inner is in fact nothing else but self-interest insuranced by outer positive feedback dynamics by the values they/me judge as important/beautiful - meanwhile the important values, what are required to bring about a real change in the system are neglected, judged as not so nice such as principled living, consistency and walk on earth with two feet all the time and not go into the energetic state of positive or negative judgment of inner reactions based on words and relationship through words based on first years of childhood, based on 'self-evoluted' values what makes the ones feel the best as possible.
Obviously there are exceptions and even anomalies within this dynamics - to balance out the masses within this fuzzy logic system of matrix of personalities as for instance someone adores chicks within short skirt with big boots meanwhile some is programmed to like the long, hiding eastern clothes or more clear can be sexual preferences - as some likes the furry man or pussy or some likes the bald - there is always a judgment within what causes the specific reaction and one can debate and justify - but in fact it is stimulated, conditioned and programmed into matrix of characters what are triggered by outer circumstances.
Educate yourself to prevent brainwashing and in fact prevent your child to be brainwashed at http://lite.desteniiprocess.com wherein consistent, trustable, experienced educators assist within the first steps to establish the starting point required to separate the truth from self-delusion. It is never too late to acknowledge that 'I was lost in consciousness systems but here I am as Life' and walk out from the maze of the mind day by day, breath by breath with the tools of Self-forgiveness, Self-honesty.