Tuesday, January 27, 2015

[JTL Day 217] Sounding Self-forgiveness part 1

Recently I've started to expand on the immediate Self-forgiveness application for direct realization/change support.

There are some points what are assisting to write down and expand in support and preparation for the Sounding Self-forgiveness expression.

By sounding, saying aloud the specific Self-forgiveness I immediately take responsibility for what I realize I've accepted and allowed myself to participate within and the application is already a self-solidifying expression: there is no better time and place to understand, re-align and change, express and live the realization within self-honesty than here and now.

There are situations wherein it is not common sense to stop what I do for Self-forgiveness, but what I've found that it can also become a self-compromise as if I keep saying that 'this is not the right time', yet I do not give time and effort for these realizations, not writing notes, recording audio/video - expanding from actual understanding to self-correction, self-commitment, then I have to face the fact that I am not dealing with the points coming up to change within self-honesty.

So it is a key to reflect back, to ask within Self-honesty - Am I able to trust myself within the decision making of 'when it is the right/appropriate/good time for applying Self-forgiveness?

It can easily become a habit to cover myself with excuses and justifications that 'I am so busy, what can I do?'.

And there are times certainly when indeed it is not possible/practical/supporting to stop and sound myself, or even to re-collect myself within, such as while giving a lecture on something different or driving etc - but the my current reality is also a reflection, the manifested consequence of who I am - and how and what I've accepted myself to become today. So There might be even resistances, layered reasons why I can accept myself as: limited what I have to face, emerge into and stand as the decision and the practical change during resistances.

The resistances from within are also something to be educated about - where these come from and why? Why do I resist to understand and stop something which I see as self-dishonest?

These are the questions what with one can assist and support with facing resistances, not only about the practical Sounding Self-forgiveness, but anything within one's process of self-realization.


Lets' walk my 'personal' deepending of understanding in regards to my resistances to Sounding Self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use excuse for not applying Self-forgiveness in the moment based on the perceptions, judgements of that it is not possible/appropriate/supporting/practical when if I really would decide, I could create opportunity to have a minute for myself and forgive what I've allowed and accepted and thus immediately taking responsibility, deepening the actual details of the self-dishonesty and direct myself to re-align and stop and change and also in the moment apply to what is necessary to further understand, reveal, acknowledge for be able to apply the necessary practical change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about the time it would require to stop what I do when I see the opportunity for Self-forgiveness to apply for immediate re-alignment within Self-honesty and using this value, worth of time perception as an excuse yet not allowing myself to effectively live the change later.

I forgive myself that I have not realized what is the exact reason that when I do not apply later the realization what I 'suppress to apply' with Self-forgiveness in the moment and accepting myself as not applying later, even when in the moment I decide doing so and within that to manifest not facing/acknowledging/understanding/realizing that I am Self-dishonest with myself about 'I will walk this forgiveness/correction/commitment later.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see/realize/understand that within to lie to myself I accumulate lack of self-trust, doubt, thus friction, instability, further Self-dishonesty, in addition to the already self-accepted self-dishonesty and not realizing that what I accumulate is who I am manifesting myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not being effective, diligent, practical within taking notes about the realizations of what I decide not to immediately forgive/walk through/re-align myself about and even further not investigating WHY I do not direct myself to become effective, WHAT is the reason for not taking really responsibility and HOW I actually still being influenced by judgements, opinions, energetic experiences in regarding to how/why/when I apply Self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I allow myself to become occupied with thoughts, reactions, energies within my mind which if I focus to I am being distracted to what I actually decided to do and within accepting that - I actually give my permission, my already manifested consequence of my past to influence/direct me and instead of trusting myself here in every moment, still prioritizing specific moments, scenarios, circumstances wherein I give into the reaction, the self-definition instead of immediately applying Self-forgiveness for being distracted and re-align by breathing, actually doing what is common sense here and direct myself to let go the thoughts, reactions as myself as equal as one.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I've allowed myself to judge the immediate, in and as moment Self-forgiveness application to be 'dangerous' in terms of not knowing how many times it would take to walk through a point ENTIRELY, throughout, until I am standing here within absolute self-direction to stop it because judging the layers of my mind as too many, and imagining what if I would have to apply Self-forgiveness in the moment sounding for 5-10-30-60 minutes and it would seem too much because then it would block myself to live my day what I was about to do, such as working, being with people etc based on the fear that then I would lose the connection with what I did before.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk a point until I am here directive and clear about it within Self-forgiveness because defining it would be too much time and effort what I do not have currently which is the excuse for not walking a point within absolute self-honesty yet facing it again and again and again and not realizing that what I fear losing actually I lose by repeating the same pattern instead of really forgive and really change immediately without fear from becoming too off-topic from what was my 'day' about, such as working, being with people.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that I can apply Self-forgiveness directly and specify it within effective Self-honesty the way that I am punctual, that I see into me and immediately be aware of what is the reason I prevented myself to immediately understand and stop and change myself about this specific point I am applying.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I can accumulate effective practical Self-forgiveness to accumulate Self-trust within actual change that I do not give up yet it does not become a fight, a friction-caused reaction-pattern which drives me to 'walk' the Self-forgiveness further, but rather I decide and live that decision unconditionally and if there is points undermining this decision to live, then I start with those points to understand/apply Self-forgiveness to stop and really change.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I've used memory as an excuse for why I do not apply Self-forgiveness in the moment for points what are not obvious/simple, but would require more than one-two Self-forgiveness statements, maybe five or fifteen and within thinking that I will not remember these exactly, then starting to doubt that I should apply it and not questioning why I've judged as multiple sentences are something I would not remember, thus eventually I would not remember to stop and apply the change within this 'giving up' judgement, which is based on comparison with something as referred as 'too big/much/long' which is in fact an excuse.


I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see-realize-understand that I can apply a scheduling, a directive regular session for my walking of notes from 'real time' participation in the daily doings, meaning each day or once in two-three days actually gifting myself the time and effort to go through the points I've put aside to later forgive/correct/change - which is simple, taking the calendar, picking a time and then do it.


I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to remain within the clarification of the realization that with and AS Self-forgiveness I can walk through any Self-dishonesty I still accept and allow and within this realization - if I still not apply it, there is something to prioritize, what is that I can understand/forgive/change about that acceptance and actually going though this until the core of my beingness and change myself from within with decision, discipline, commitment and accumulation of the Process of Self-forgiveness applied written and sounded, said aloud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even think for a moment about why I do not need to apply Self-forgiveness/change and accept that thought as me and my decision without realizing I decide not to change with a Self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I do not need to say aloud necessarily the Self-forgiveness words, it can also support if I focus directly to the realization and apply the decision to stop/change/re-align with - or I can whisper the words, the important is the actual application of changing within the realization.

I commit myself to explore/expose/understand/stop/change all reactions stopping me to apply Self-forgiveness and change in the moment and ensure that I become practical and effective dealing with not forgetting, giving the time and effort to walk through points later, making notes and also to stop any resistances walk through a point, regardless of reactions.

I will continue with further Self-forgiveness and Self-correction, Self-commitment in the next post.

In the meantime I suggest to listen these interviews about Sounding Self-forgiveness:

2 comments:

lee woo said...

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. See the link below for more info.


#forgiveness
www.ufgop.org

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