I am further exploring the Sounding Self-forgiveness from the previous post:I see expansion - the forced forgetfulness excuse is gone, that is a make belief that I can't remember what I said, especially if I said more and more sentences.
I am present, I walk through the word constructs within my mind and I detach from energetic automatic programming with Sounding Self-forgiveness.
There is still sometimes an urge to quicken up, this has been a massive construct in my mind, due to the extreme amount of psychedelic drugs I've pushed through my system in the starting point of energy and light delusion, but it's decomposing as well.
Well, the point is that I've also avoided to talk and share about quite some amount of topics which I am becoming aware of, mostly because I first cross-reference all I experience to prevent further self-deception, which I've accepted and allowed previously within the spiritual deceptive agendas I've also participated within.
By walking the Desteni I Process courses during the last couple of years - there is no doubt it is supporting me within the substantiating of self-presence, self-trust and self-direction.
Whole points, what previously I've judged in my life as 'my greatest challenges' are becoming daily walk to face and re-align with practical change if I see self-dishonesty in my starting point-action, such as partnership, fear of not being good enough and fear of mistakes.
The process is just started, which is humble, because the recognition of the same LIFE is within all, equally and if one is not acting according to that, there is no need any more explanation that the one is still walking personal process from pre-programmed mind consciousness system to all-life-aware awareness self-expression.
Sounding Self-forgiveness is immediate, direct, stabilizing and physical expression if it's self-honest.
So the points I've been realized about it recently are:
- if the words would want to come out faster than I can say the words aloud, sounding alright, then it is indicating there is a rush coming from my mind, which means I direct myself to slow down, there can be an unrealistic perception, conviction making me believe that I need to rush or it's better or it's like pouring a bucket out - which is then not self-direction, so I stop, I breathe and I express word by word as myself and within those words I live them literally as myself, as I really give for myself a new understanding, a new chance, a new direction.
- if there is a perception that after a Self-forgiveness point/sentence/expression/understanding/exploration, there is another coming up, like I forgive myself for accepting myself to fear and then in the next moment I see this fear closer, so I see that it is common sense to continue with that I forgive myself for accepting myself to fear from mistakes and then I open up what kind of mistakes, why fearing from specific mistakes, until I am not aware of all it's parts - I do not have to go through the reactions, thoughts, word constructs and it's energy reactions to 'feel' it - I forgive myself until I am becoming 'aware' of it - it's like in the Matrix movie: Don't think you are - Know you are. Because if I know myself, I do not need to think anymore, I MOVE, I ACT, I LIVE, I EXPRESS.. And if it's not constant, consistent, then I apply Self-forgiveness to KNOW SELF HERE first. This is when going down the rabbit hole - no matter how deep it is - I keep digging until I see everything - from where this 'fear' started within and as me. And the tendency to give up, to stop digging until I am aware of all aspects can arise. So it is also a self-reflection point to see - until when I apply Self-forgiveness. Within Self-honesty there can be learned to be aware of it - is there any layer, is there any reaction/energy/movement still within me which I am not aware of? I am seeing all parts of it to such a degree that I can practically assist and support myself within stopping and changing?
I remember, when I started to write this blog around 2008, many times I wrote about one-two pages when I've got to the more direct, self-supportive self-honest writing expression - then by days, months, years it can become a skill - there is still sometimes that I sit down writing without specific direction - and I can recognize it - and I can apply specificity and face and walk through points more directly. It's a process, these are skills which are essential for the human being to understand, stop and transcend the normally accepted insanity of constant time-looping within personality programs of self-interest, the delusion of all-power love meanwhile having absolutely no real purpose, principle and integrity in relation to taking responsibility for existence here.
Also it is important to face any reaction/construct justifying why not needing to apply self-forgiveness.
If I fear letting go a pattern, it is because there is self-definition, which I fear losing because then I would need to change which I do not want and then by being identified with my mind/thoughts/reactions/resistances - I accept it as self-limitation and even label it as 'this is who I am' and stop questioning it.
There is this delusion that I must live and try everything first to really see that it is not really what I want - not realizing that there is always consequence within physical time-space.
One can walk through any desires- regardless of how tempting or simple, easy they seem - even that within my mind there are things what seem to be more big and important, those perceptions are for manipulate self to be able to label points, things, self-dishonesties as 'small', 'insignificant', but in fact everything always accumulates and from small things build up everything one by one.
It's also about Self-application with Self-forgiveness - if I define that 'I do not apply Self-forgiveness to take responsibility in this moment, but will do it later' - it is an action, a decision, there is consequence and the more I do it the more I literally become this pattern up to a point where I do not even 'need to reason/justify', because I am totally biased by myself.
If I look around in this world, it is the constant acceptance and allowance of small things what accumulated into this total separation from our beingness with energy, being in the substance but not as it, feeling imprisoned in the physical while in fact our prison is the mind, the justification of why shit happens, because of this is how things turned out and not realizing that we are not just part of this creation, but we actually are creation.
With Self-forgiveness we take this responsibility as creator, created and creation as equal and one and word by word we can literally understand re-align our expression to stop the accumulation of acceptance and allowance of self-acceptance, self-limitation, self-delusion.
Sounding Self-forgiveness also has the physical voice, sound - and immediately we can hear if the words are not spoken well, clearly, is there any wavering, uncertainty, difficulty, resistance, energy - then to explore that as well and in the moment apply that further understanding into more specificity and direct change, here in and as the physical.
I will continue further about Sounding Self-forgiveness...
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