I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be here when I write just like going back there and doing some shovel stuff and then just using it as a method to stabilize myself as a system - instead of standing up and being here and directive principle.
Sometimes I have the perception that I am so close where I always wanted to be -
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to go somewhere else than being here totally.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not being aware that I am close to be here - instead of being simply here and taking the consequences of my responsibility by directing myself according to who I am and applying self honesty to manifest the unification of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as the polarity manifestation of the definition system about how close I am to where I wanted to be - instead of stopping to participate within this indirect definition system.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I do not push myself in every single moment as breath as self expression - no matter what - I am dishonest - full of shit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge dishonesty instead of just exploring as me as one as equal and stopping participate within separation of it - and be the directive principle within oneness and equality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to nor realize that if I do not discipline myself in every are of my life - these areas will remain separated areas regarding to separated personality manifestations of the mind consciousness system -and within that I am not the directive principle - I am not here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as the manifested desire - instead of realizing that I desire to be without desire - so the solution is simply give up and explore what is here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complicate myself in order to conform and handle situations what I've defined as unbearable, too much.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define situations separatedly from me as too much - instead of realizing that self-definition exists within me related to the experience - and within that I am just a mechanism within the mind - not real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope within my 'path' that everything will be fine, better just because my intentions are 'right'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to hope - clarifying that I am not the directive principle, so I can not do anything, and I do not have to do anything, and I have a desire about what I want, but I can not do it, so I will wait until I can.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope in that I will be more directive by time - simply separating myself from here to project a desire into the future - because at the moment right here I can not do it, but I want - absolute separation, dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as dishonesty just because all others are doing the exact same - and in fact my deepest dishonesties are unnoticable for the others so in secret I can remain this without facing the consequences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shame my dishonesties and hide it within my mind because what others would react if I would being exposed exactly as I am really inside of my mind as my mind.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I hide my dishonesties - that means that I define myself as these - and as I define myself - I experience myself as I define my existence.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that everything I have to do for myself as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as desire as an excuse.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being exposed because I define myself according to others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to prove myself for myself - instead of just stopping here and exploring and expressing who I am without condition.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as energy - what is the product of the participation within the mind - and being defined according to the activity of the mind - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addict to my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addict to my thoughts - the accepted suppressed nature of my dishonesties.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as the fear of consequences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define some moments as more important to bring in the definition of 'unimportant, small moments'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use desire as an excuse to experience and express who I am right here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up unconditionally as all as one as equal as life within oneness and equality, practically, physically.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use picture presentation of other human beings to manipulate within my mind energetically - without their permission, and abusing the law of attraction to manifest separation.
I stop unconditionally to operate within my mind trough and as pictures. I am standing up to stop this mind-demon inside of me by being here in every single moment and direct and simply saying no and applying self forgiveness to the inner reactions - unconditionally.
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