I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate to express myself because of hope and lack of self trust in every single moment.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the lack of awareness of and as breath expression - shows that I am not here - I am not inner silent.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try living by excuses and justifications about why I am accepting myself as thinking - instead of acting immediately and not allowing myself to wheel up within myself with thoughts, emotions feelings.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I am not expressing out myself within every moment as who I am inside - I am compounding the tension/stress within myself - and then I am becoming an atombomb what is preparing to explode -- instead of expressing myself and releasing the ideas of how to perceive and act.
I forgive myself that I have defined myself somebody who can have everything or nothing - played out and controlled by extreme polarities - and limiting myself to these as I am black or I am white - instead of being aware of how I participate within such definitions and forgiving and releasing them - remaining inner silent.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to define myself according to sex or according to the lack of sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to sexual desire.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define good to suppress sexual desire.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to emotionally manipulate beings around me in order to have what I want - instead of being direct and trust self as moment as breath expression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think while I am reading - instead of realizing how I defined reading as thinking - and stopping it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am gonna be tired if I do something.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am going to be tired if I am thinking.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that as I am 'moving into the mind' - I am becoming a programmed robot - as I am not here as the physical - but I am within and as this mind program and perceiving everything trough the lens of definitions, laws, regulations-- then I am not here, I am not real.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within desire - I am desiring after what is already here - so within the act of desire - the act of realizing how and why I separated myself from what I desire for. It can be girl, sex, object or any idea what I do not experience but I want to.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to unconditionally let go of the past - letting go who I was, who I defined myself to be here, and be the expression of moment as breath.
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