Self forgiveness: fear from expressing myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from expressing myself who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to face the consequences what I caused.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself to avoid to face the consequences what I caused with my deeds and words.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my self honesty by defining myself according to situations for instance talking with someone who raised her/his voice.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I am raising my voice with emotion then I am not here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from telling people how I see them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from losing people around me because I do tell them how I see them within dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not sleep at least 5-6 hours a day because of fearing that I do not have enough time and sleeping enough is waste of time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my human physical body as a machine, as a vessel what I can use for my purposes instead of realizing that I am one and equal with and as my human physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself separated from my human physical body as the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from stopping perceiving myself as separated from my human physical body and the whole physical existence.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that by defining myself who I really am as separated from physical existence in fact I am separating who I am from myself by definition.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in thoughts and feelings and emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get emotional when I face with emotions about death.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to emotions or according to feelings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being emotional.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am suppressing emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to suppressing emotions.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that by suppressing emotions I still of emotions.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I do suppress emotions - I am reacting the same way as the other people who get emotional but I do push it down into me deeply to not face it as myself what I have allowed myself to react.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I have built a self-definition about who I am and within and as my mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions - I am referring to this defined-self and participating within reality by and of and as this self-definition personality system instead of realizing who and what I am expressing as Physical and working direct physical with and as myself to release self dishonesties in every breath.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that there are no 'entertainment' times - there are no 'skips' or 'breaks' from process as all moment as me are equal as all dishonesties as the only preference what I take is of self-definitions according to my delusions about 'importance', referring to some points as 'very important' to 'not important' for instance to be self-honest with my partner is very important but to absolutely self-honest at my workplace is less important, what is bullshit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not expressing myself by judging my expression within the starting point of 'not good enough' instead of realizing that physical expression must be developed what is through consistent expression through time but if I do not express - I will not be able to change and then I will remain judging of what I do not express instead of express and express and trust self unconditionally all ways here.