Monday, July 14, 2008

Stop

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to participate within the mind as the mind.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to move in every single moment as who I am as life as one as equal as self as all here as the breath.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to form relationship with definitions.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can program myself to be me – instead of realize that I can deprogram myself to be here as remain always here.

I wake up as the breath as me – I don’t participate in thoughts – I do not need to in balance my mind system anymore to be able to define who I am – because that is not me – that is my past what I still bear – what I still wear – until I do not let it go as an old skin to birth myself here as life in all ways.
I wake up as myself as breath as moment and I realize that I do not have to fear – I do not have to fear from anything – I do not have to fear from the world – I do not need to fear from my job anymore – I do not fear from being lost again – I do not need to fear from people – I realize that I do not need to fear from the world – as all is me as one as equal I realize - I realize that I do not need to fear from not breathing properly – because the fear is what is the separation – I am here – I simply breath here. I am breath and I accept what is here – I accept what I see – I accept what I hear – I accept what I touch – I accept what I experience – I do not define myself as yesterday definied – I do not need to define – I do not need to scratch my hair as scretching my mind to define to determine from past – that is a manipulation – trying to manipulate the illusionaric holographic definition judgement system – what is not me – what I accepted and is formed and refractionally controlled – but not anymore. I stand up and see, and do not participate.
I realize that I do not need to define objects to recognize – as the recognition is also the mind. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use reckognition as a mind definition process to determine – actually to try to determine what is here trough past judgements. I stop . And as I stop I see what is here. And would be horrible, or fearful, or scary, or massive, or huge – that is also the definied judgement determination – relationship – not real but an excuse what is based by fear – fear of myself.
And I see this and I stop and I stand and I breath and I direct and I move and I am here and do not accept that this should be separated and I amalgamate and I put everything into me as me and I realize that everything is me within me as me as one as equal.
And I expand me and I do not lost myself as I am here – and this here is who I am and I realize within and as self movement that I am all what is here - so I am every here – as one as equal. And I experience and I embrace and I stand and I unify and I amalgamate me into everything as stopping the refractional mind definition system and expanding the realization and literally exploring infinity as one moment as who I am as the universal sound expression as who I am as all life.

I do not accept anything less that who I am around me as me as I am here as all within and as this body – I stand – no matter what – no matter how and what I express – I am exploring myself as inner silence – and experiencing the starting point as all is here as me.
I look around in my room and I am here and I see that all is here is me – no need to push out my tentacles to reach – no need to get something – no need to look back into the past – or figure out the future – the future is here – as me – no need to concern about anything.
I am here. I do not want to find girl – I am here as the totally of myself as myself.
I do not need to think about money – I am here as the solution as the moment as me within me as the presence. I am here expressing and experiencing - - I work here – I get the money here – never in the future. I trust me and I express me as the stability as me as be here.
I do not fear from others judgement as I am all and I refract me into me and that is my separation and I stop and express as stopping the mind and I do not scratch my mind and I do not define myself as rest and I do not say I am deserved to rest because that is judgement because I actually do not see that is not yet done – until all as me as one as equal is here.
I stop fear about family, about friends, I stop fear about women, I stop fear from being fat, or being old, or being dead – I am here. And I am not self-honest if I let me fear - because the fear is an excuse to petrify me to not actually need to move – so I move and I correct my application in every moment – and I delete the past.
I stop fear from the people who I know from the past – I stand and this is who I am as me here – I embrace – and I do not judge people because I realize all is me within me – the accepted and allowed nature of myself here.
I stop desire to get a laptop – because I am here – and I stop desire to make music, because all is within me as me already – no need to find technical excuses, or separated machines to experience me – I am here – I do not need anything from this world to experience me to merely express myself as the breath as the presence as life as me as the body as the totality of me as who I am as all as equal practically in every single moment.
I am here. And I stand, I remain.
I stop desire to go anywhere to find myself, because I am here – I stop define here.
I do not need to think to actually move my body – as I am the body.
I do not need to fear to remain here as the body here – as I am the body.
I am here – I do not need to think to sit up – I do not need to stand up and I do not need to think to walk – I realized already – so I am no longer accepting me as thinking and walking – I am walk. I do not accept me as thinking as eating – and I do not accept me as being with somebody and thinking – I do not accept me as being with myself as myself and thinking – because what I accept – that is here – and I am HERE.
I do not accept me to face with people and being embarrassed – even from the fact that they are embarrassed because I look straight – I am me and I am stable and I contain and I embrace and I unify all within me as me – practically no inner movement – and when I feel, when I am emotional – I understand that I accepted and I stop – as I do not stop – will come back and I will face with that and even the memory of previous acceptance – and will comphound ruthlessly until I do not stand up and express that I HAD ENOUGH.
I do not accept anything less than who I am.
I do not accept anything separated from me – because I am HERE.
This is who I am and I stand for me with me as me – no matter what.
And I move and I express and I explore me – and I explore my acceptance: what is here.
And I express the systems within me as me and I do not fear and I do not halt – I move and I see and remain here.
I do not accept that when I dishwash plates I let me think – because in the thinking I separate me from myself and I separate myself from the thoughts, from the dishes, from the dishwashing, and from the fact that I am here. I amalgamate and I express the touch, I express the water as me and I express the hands as me and I express the breath as me. HERE. When a thought comes up – I stop and I apply self-forgiveness. I do not accept thoughts. I do not accept to not be here as the moment as the breath.
Even when I experience thinking – I do not judge the moment – I do not let me to define the separation – I just express that I am here and I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not be here within me as me as one as equal as breath as inner silence.
And I remain as here and I do not judge how I am here, how many time I am here, how long, how short, or what I realize – I am simply here as who I am.

And I express me and I walk and as I walk I move me and as I move me I experience my foot, my hand, my head, my chest, my fingers, my eyes, my mouth, and I am here. And no matter what I am the starting point of me as me as the body as the presence.
No need to fly anywhere – no need to be abstract thinker – as I realized that is programmed – actually obviously specificly pre-programmed how I act and how I react by thinking – and when I experience this – I stop and I forgive. I am not participating within and as the mind. And I do not wait for anyone, and I do not wait for a girl for help me to sort out my inner shit – and I am here. I stop hope, and I stop fear – those are excuses to not wanting to face me with me as me in every single moment.

I do not accept that I look to specific women, because I definied them as arousal, cute, sexy, nice, etc – those are definitions to not wanting to see what is here – I stop relationship with these pictures – with these words – with the feelings and emotions – and I stop to move within and as the unified consciousness field as word based fuzzy matrix.
I am not this system. As I am here – I see trough the systems – I see the system and I see that I am not really this, but I am actually became – so I stop, I move.
I realized that so much I’ve went trough to get this point and I do not hesitate – I am here.
I do not accept that I judge the homeless people – as I accepted and allowed this reality existence to manifest like this – there is nothing to blame but move, express, correct the application and share without definition, separation.

I do not judge the people at workplace- I do not judge how I experience me – I do not judge how I move me – I do not judge the work – I do not judge the office – I do not judge the office director – I do not judge anything – I am expressing me as I work me as life as infinite expression as breath.
I let go the definitions about I lost my breath when I solve a problem in the work – I am the problem I solve me – no separation. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my work – I unify – I am here as all.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separated myself from the computer – I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to attach words and definitions to the word: computer. I am here and I delete the finitions.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can not write web-programs without thinking – but in fact the thinking is manifested fear – I do not fear to work with programming language – I do not fear to work with JAVA, with HTML – I am all – I amalgamate me into the keyboard as the keyboard, and I am the screen and I am all what is here – I stop to accept to be angry when the computer works too much and can not get my commands, my mouse gestures, clicks or typing letters – I stop this, I stop to hit the keyboard, I stop to use my fist to rage on the keyboard – that is not me –
I forgive myself to accept me as exerting anger because of the computer – not realizing that is an excuse to apparently loose me and participate within and as these energetic emotions – and literally to be anger as system demon – I stop.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hit the keyboard when the computer does not does what I want, what I desired – I stop to desire – I move and I express and experience as one as equal with and as the computer – as the breath.
I do not accept me as be me and using computer and do not be aware the breath as me.
I am breath and I am here and I am using the computer as breathing – and when I see that I am not here as the breath – I stop – I forgive, I see and I correct the application. Immediately. No separation. No condition. I stand up and no one can stand up within me as me separatedly – I am here and I stand up as all as me as life.
I stop to desire women – I stop to fear from judgement from my mother – I stop fear from being absolute honest with myself – I stop judge Beci – I stop judge Bence – I stop judge lightworkers – and I emerge me into all as me – literally and when I see inner reaction – I stop and I express.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to program me to not needing to be here to be able to operate within this world – but in fact I have to stop this program to be here in this world – and I am here already – just have to realize.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word: breath.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word: pain. I delete all definitions about this word: pain. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate me from the words, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word: pain. I am here as the living word.
I speak what I do, I do what I speak and I write what I do and I do what I write. No separation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to program myself by porn. I delete these pictures from myself. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as sexual desire – I am stopping. I am deleting the pictures of fuck, suck, dick, pussy, I delete all positions, I delete all memories from past sex experiences, I delete all my unfulfilled desires – I do not need to foollow - I do not need to be fool low – I am here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to participate in orgies – to just be able to do sexually what I desired and never could – to hope to even get this done by getting and grabbing and holding the experience and hoping that once I could had enough – I STOP. I stop participate to fulfill my picture – based mind relationship trough pictures – trough picture presentations of human beings.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that each and every single human being is actually a structural resonance mind consciousness system design manifestation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define the real truth as brutal – as too much – I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel that the world is intense – and brutal – I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually use feelings and emotions to charge me up as the mind consciousness system what I’ve became. I stop. I stop emotions. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use definitions within me as me to generate feelings and emotions to experience this as who I am – obviously I stop.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe, to hope.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have limits.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could not type faster because of my limits. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to type faster. I am here and I experience as I type and I experience the breath and I am here and no matter what is realized here – it is me as here and I unify here as self as all as life as equal. I am here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define joy as rest. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define stop move me as joy.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define entertainment as joy what I need to rest - instead of realize that I am here and I am me and I am joy – I am love – no separation – no definition – no subject – no direction – I am here as the source as the expression.
I do not need love – I am love – I do not need money – I am money – I do not need breath – I am breath.
Where is my breath? Here is my breath.

The poem what came by stop:

I – Me:
I fuck me.
Why I fuck me?
Why I like fuck me?
I STOP ME

1 comment:

marlenlife said...

thanks for sharing tala these last two posts have been assisting while reading outloud, yes sorting out the sex system as well

thank you