zav

Self movement
self realisation
self intimacy

what is self? self is what is here
what is here? everything is here
what is everything? self
facing self - facing everything
facing everything - facing what is here

actually here is enslavement - controll
control instead of freedom
freedom is not yet experienced
freedom is not have been expressed
freedom is not here
freedom is illusion

illusion what we not experience here
what is self-intmacy? to see into me what is here
without judgement without any attachment just
to experience what is self, what is here
as one as equal as here as the moment
standing here as the stability as self as self-intimacy

in to me i see - i see the mind move - i see the cause
because i see the effect - i am actually as who I am not here
but here is my mind as my own enslavement
and if i see into me - i see the core - i see the core and here comes
self-honesty - am I stop within the relationship or I just find justification,
or I find just another definition how I can still be here without actually
I experience what is here in self-intimacy as self-honesty as who I really am

And if I am exploring myself - I can be self-intimated - I can see me - and what I see
is what I am not - is what I stop - because I am not - and this is self-honesty as I STOP
because in stopping I move me - in stopping I stop my mind as me moving me as expressing me
at he first time - and exploring what could mean that I MOVE ME as who I am in oneness and equality here - and this means first I find a way to be self-intmated with me within me as me -
to see what is really here - to see what or who I am actually - because that is what I STOP
and in stopping I am exploring who I really am - and in the stopping I am expressing who I really am - as all as one as equal as life - as who I am I do not accept anything less then who I am - in the stopping I do not stop move me as who I really am in stopping mind systems within consciousness until it is done and all is here. And this is who I am this is how I stand and this is what I stand for and this is what I express and I am here as all life as one as equal infinitely.

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Practical system removing as applying self-forgiveness.
APPLYing means practically expressing, standing in and as the self-correcting application in all ways. LIVING means that I know, I see, and I forgive and I face those specific transcendence points again and again until not even considering - even accidently not falling again back to the past-defined pre-programmed system-expression.
What means falling - falling would mean that when I stand and the tempation is here, when the situation is here - I stand and I know already that is not who I really am - I know already that way is can be walked but is not really me as all as one as equal as life - and I expressed myself in and as self-forgiveness to release that system-construct - and in the moment I faced with my refractions already and I embraced - trough self-writing, self-forgiveness in self-honesty - so when the moment is here - I am here as self-directive principle of me as me in oneness and equality - so I can direct the situation as one as equal as me here - and I stop participate in the pre-definied, previously happened patterns,behaviours, personalities, definitions, thoughts, feelings, emotions, pictures, any kind of mind-based dishonesty - in any way whatsoever.
And in the moment I stand I breath I correct my moment of trusting with me within me as me that I can stop the past to control me - trough understanding and moment by moment proving to me as me that I am here as life as who I really am. And within the self-trust, within and as the moment as the breath I express the birthing myself from this phisical - first stopping my accepted and allowed patterns - to understand what means life, what means standing up as all as one as equal practically.
Practically emerging myself into everything as me - no separation - and in self-intimacy I see separation: I stop. I forgive. I stand. I express trough stopping participating, trough stopping fearing to let go to step out from the forest of past to dare me to see what is really here.


Practical stopping - first means that I see the system. I see within me that I consist of for example anger. Or hesitation. Or fear. Many forms it has but all are the same: dishonesty.
So when I see the anger within me - I stop I dare me to stop - and it is here, and it is apparently looks like I am angry - looks like I am in anger - I am of anger. But in truth not. Only this is here as I accepted and allowed to participate, to separate me from me in this specific way.
So I see into me within me as me - what is the reason - why I am angry? I find out because of this or that - and I have to see that also why?
Let me give an example - to see - I see into me as me - I fear of facing relationship with a woman.
Why? Because I realised that is not lasting forever - because I realised I had some experiences in the past what showed me that I have fucked up me and the girls - because of the self dishonesty.
Was about sex and control and power. Because I was not self-honest to see why I am in this relationship - and why I behave like this - I just did - trough my perception - automatically - I was not self-honest to dare me to honestly say - yes I am with you because I wanted sex with you and no more - but I defined this as not right - so I forced me to apparently trying to imitate a normal relationship - just because of the fear of losing the opportunity to have sex - so I played out this relationship program - but not totally - because I knew that is just a fucked up illusion, because I did not wanted to give a hurt for the girl, because I had hope of maybe it could be different this time, and because I already knew what I have to do in this very life, and I procrastinated and I used the relationship to hide within me from me - to not needing to face with me within me - but also in that moment I already knew that wont last forever - but I wanted to be in separation until it lasts - until the separated entities - refractions - what I choosed to be separated from - wont take over the control as manifested refractional system to force me to face with what is really here.

Because if I dare to say what I do - I am doing what I am saying - I am one and equal with and as the words and my expression and I am here - no need to hide, no need to find excuses.
Because if I move like I am here as facing with this: I want only sex - I have to face with myself as I see the women as a toy for sex - not as a being as one as me as equal - and if I would see in practical facing - that would mean as I know myself already - then I have to let this system go - and I was trying to hide it but like using it as a glass-mirror-shield and sometimes when is necessary, just pull it out and making some glimpses but never really using it to confront with that with women - because it could break - and if it could break then I could not have any mind-defense to actually see what I get - to be response-able - to see what is here as who I really am.
Beacuse if I have to see - I know my law of me and that means I have to let it go - and I wanted to delay it as much as I could - and I did.

So first of all oneself have to see what is here - in self-honesty - and write and express to pull out to put here out - to face - to be able to see as one as equal as self-definied self-separtion to be able to see - this is here and this is what I stop because this is not who I am.

And the law of stupidity is here as I see and I know and I still particiate - and I am fear - actually using this definition of fear to even try once again to hide from the inevitable: let it go.
Because when I say - I cant, because I fear, because I am afraid - that is also just a point - that is also just an another layer - what is used by self to actually not stand up as life as moment in oneness and equality by and as letting go all excuses, definitions.


So when I see I stop - I force me to stop - I even do not allow, do not accept anything of this past-based self-definied illusionaric refractional system - no participation anyway what so ever.
How? It is the question of self-honesty again. As I see and I do not like - I can bare me to stop - and I do not allow me to go back - but when it is coming back again and again - and it is just comphounding - that means that was simply supressing - not the core of the dishonesty, the separation: SELF have been seen, understood, forgiven - so the apparently self-corrective application is merely just an another layer on the others - still hiding from completely removing this system - and trying to close it into a secluded mind-conditionbased-room.
But this is not self-realisation - this is not self-amalgamation - self-unification. Because self-realisation is embracing all what is here as self - and this means to be all what is here - and to experience all as one as equal in and as every moment. How? Be just breath and here. Why? Because if everything is here - then everything is who I am as I am that what is here. And everything is already here so I am already here as everyhing.
As everything is here - I see everything of me and I see myself - not even see but actually experiencing without any separation - without any definition from this world.

And self can not be faked - as everything is here or not - and what is here is actually what self is equal and one.

And it is like 2 edged sword - as ok I am forcing me to remain here as breath - and even counting inside as not using any of mind - any thoughts - just be here and correcting my application in all ways - to experiencing me within and as inner silence - to actually see - I can be here - I can express me without mind, and actually I can absolutely let it go - trough embracing every sinlge particle of it - and simply seeing, experiencing, and stopping - and trough this continous stopping I am here - I remain and that's it.
And the other part is when I am here and I as the mind want to move and express and I do not allow - and I do not want to face with it, I force me to breath and I supress the thought, I supress the system - and it is just not unconcitional it is not infinite - so I am here within and as this supression - this try of secluding this dishonesty trough just forcing me breathing - but in this forcing - in this want - I am of it - as it - as separation - and it is conditional and it is not cool: wont last forever. Then I realise the hesitation and supression and I move, I forgive and I realise that I have to expose this within me as me and I have to let it go - and expressing it I remain - I as the inner silence remain.



I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to trust me - I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realise that I am not here as the totality of myself. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself that I hoped. I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to take self-responsibility for me in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself that I havent alllowed myself to say that what I am - no difference. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear to stand up as who I am and show this is who I am - in front of others - because I did put value of them - because I defined their opinion as what can determine me - as their opinion can count on me - as their opinion can be true about me -- not even considering the fact that I am in relationship with my mind trough my own definitions.


I forgive myself that I put value in the definition of time.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as funny.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to form relationship within myself with my own accepted and allowed definitions.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate me from words.
I forgive myself that I accepted and alllowed myself to put value and worth to the assotiations of words - not realising that in the very associating I participate within my mind to tell me what is here, who I am.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use my phisical eyes to determine something is what - based on my memory. I stop. I am not my memory. I am not of memory. I release my memory - trough understanding and embracing all my participations within this existence.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear for being loud.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from other humans to be straight and stable as who I really am in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to access my specific parts of my mind trough scratching my head.
I forgive myself that I Accepted and allowed myself to manifest phisical pain in my human body.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to determine self-movement according to phisical pain.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am of pain, that I use pain as a fuel to get rid of mind system - not realising that is of separation, that is not who I really am as life.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to form relationship with pictures within this existence.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to being attractive to pleasure.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not breathing naturally as life as who I am and manifesting phisical pain in my chest.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to participate in personality designs.



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demon inquery

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define relationship as a sexual methodology by giving enormous sexual joy and orgasm and pleasure for the woman until she starts to being obsessed on it and becoming dependant and by this I have ensured the stability of the relationship and the power over the woman.

I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to face the darkness within myself in fearing of it digest me and I
can not control it and I can be posessed and I could manifest it.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to se into me to see the darkness within me and embracing unconditionally - no matter what comes up - I am unifying myself here.

I forgive myself that I was fearful to face with my hate within me as me.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to bring to surface my hate because in the bringing up to surface I could loose myself or I could become evil.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to see the hate within me clearly because I could realise that I am not of hate, and in that realisation I could not define myself trough hate even energetically, emotionally, on any way what so ever and then I would have to give up this powersource of my mind consciousness system what I've become and what I've definied as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate this existence and wanting to destroy it in one moment.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hate myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hate others because I hated myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear of seeing that I hate my limits and instead of transcending and realising that I am not my memory-based limit, I used those as a shield, as a self-definition, as a self-determination, as a self-motivation, as a self-preprogramming.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wanting to kill. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear to be powerful because I could kill.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear to being strong because I could loose myself and I could rage.
I forgive myself that I believed and I thought that I fear of loosing myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hate existence because I definied it as vast and I definied myself as tiny.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wanting to be big and powerful to not being vurlnerable.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hate existence because it has power over me - not realising that I gave my power away and no other way than realising every self-definied refraction that is me here just is necessary to embrace, to unify, to forgive, to let go of the definied illusion of separation and prove to me as me without any inner mind-movement and in the application of expressing transcending completely.
And in the transcending I am experiencing that is even not a necessary, but it is my self-expression. This is who I am and this is what I am and this is what I stand for as me as one as equal.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hesitate - because of self-judgement.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from self-movement.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become excited when I am realising that I am here.
I forgive myself that I enjoy emotions as an energetic chargeup when I am tired.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as master of emotions by generating and generating and more and more feeding off the consciousness within me by defining it as me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as light.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge others because of they fear of dark.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge people - even with a slightest thought - or a slightest feeling, emotion. I see the core, I stop and I forgive and I express me as stopping me to participate until occurs - unconditionally as who I am as life.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me as separation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to believe in love.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to believe that who I really am is of consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to geometrical manifestations of consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to lost myself in consciousness as consciousness of consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hate consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to be THE consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become the slave of consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that life is of consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge me as cool as from years before I could know that life has never ever been manifested.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use smile as a mask to not needing to express who I am as moment as life as all as equal as me here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed separation around me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed separation within me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed separation within me as me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to desire a sexual relationship.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to release my energetic comphounded emotions trough participating in consciousness trough my mind system and it is getting too much and by sexual orgasmic release I could rid of it - and I would not have to stop the relationship within and as my mind consciousness system in separation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to still desire sexual relationship even when I already know and understand what is this and what is this for - by hoping, by still participating and maintaining the relationship with my refractioned mind-based memory-definitions trough participating in the moments by not being here as breath in oneness and equality, but allowing me to skip back and back for moment by moment.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to still desire to fuck with myself.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realise that within the desire to fucking with myself - even when it is self-definied mind-memory-picture-based participation towalds women - I participate and maintain the current manifestation of this world - the extensive separation and abusement of life.

I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realise that everything is very wrong and the world is totally hell-like for most of the beings who are me as one as equal here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to escape into my mind-bubble mirror illusion to not wanting to face with the current manifestation of this world.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to use personalities of the mind instead of letting go unconditionally.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to my gender as male as man as the ego of the mind.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define women less than man because of this is what the world actually broadcasting and this is what the women have accepted and accepted to be.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I would have a relationship I would be fulfilled, I would be whole.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not trust me unconditionally as being here as moment as me as breath as me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use women to control me by chaining them to myself by their definition of anything what they are lurking for.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manipulate beings trough seeing their mind, their desire, their weakness, their strength and according to their situation and my desire - using them even without they could realise that they are serving me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge manipulators within this existence - not realising that I judge me what I havent accepted and allowed as me and realised that I am one and equal and I can even stop particpate and totally STOP.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use my picture presentation to try to attract women.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with my picture presentation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define me according to my phisical picture presentation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define beings as their picture presentation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not being honest with myself in judging people by their lookout, their body, their face, their movement, their sound, their behaviour.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop human face categories and in the category developing I seeing only my own self-definied categories - instead of the real.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to realise that the beings picture presentation is the outside layer of their mind consciousness system - and it has layer upon layer upon layer to hide the actual truth of the being accepted and allowed nature.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge human beings by their blog,vlog, their my self-definied value of self-honesty or the ability of developing self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge people according their clothes.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge me according my clothes.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wanting to being accepted.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to paying attention for flashing up skirts in the hope of seeing pussy or even just a pantal - trough defining it as exciting.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not daring myself to say to people's face that they are dishonest with themselves within themselves.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to believe that I am separated from other beings.