Sunday, March 29, 2009

self forgiveness breath, will

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/define/say that I can not hear from my breath instead of realizing that this is an excuse because if I am not inner silent - in fact I do not hear from my thoughts.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to be inner silent because then I experience that the sound of my breath is intense and my body and heartbeat is undenyably throbbling and unavoidable.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be inner silence just because I believed that what I think within the mind - is more important than be here as this breath - because I did not allowed myself to trust me and I relied on my memory-based thinking system to tell me what to do, how to experience.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize when I think - I am not here, I am not breath, I am not here within and as the physical, only within my mind dimension - separated, limited and preprogrammed - just because I do not dare myself to push myself here to express who I am as moment, just because I do not trust myself as life, because I use memories as excuse, because I've given up on myself as life -- until I do not stop participate within the mind and live who I am as all as one as equal as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my breath - revealing that I am participating in the illusion that I am separated from breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word breath.
I forgive mysself that I have abused and suppressed my breath according to suppress myself 'into' my mind.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I am not aware of my breath here as one as equal - I am not here, I am deceiving myself by the participation within and as the mind consciousness system.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I give up everything what is not here - I am here as my breath as body as physical - because if I give up everything from my mind - I realize that I am here.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be aware that when I think while I breath or when I think while I hold in or out the breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself by not being aware of my thoughts, not realizing that I am segregated.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the very essence of my desires make me to believe that I have to reach something beyond myself where I am actually as breath.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that everything of me is already here - if I am not experiencing and expressing myself as one as equal as the totality of myself - I am not here as breath as life - I am perceiving myself as self-separated entity what is less then the existence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself to be less than existence, than the wholeness of everyting - just because I defined myself according to what my eyes see.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be honest with myself in every moment and every breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the illusion of ascension by placing myself into a process and projecing my desires into the future, and not realizing that this is procrastination and hope - and in fact an excuse to not stand up as life here within and as this moment, and practically change.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within a specific energetic definition system and defining my status between to the lack of energy or the too much energy and then simply reacting by using the preprogrammed methods to keep me between these values who I defined myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to energy, instead of realizing that I am here as breath - I direct myself and I am expressing myself as all as one as equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not sitting straight, because then I will be tired and that tiredness can be an excuse for not directing myself appropriately.

I forgive myself that I have accepted myself as self-defeat and self-judgemental and self-doubt - to try to hide from myself to not face with and as what I have accepted and allowed to manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to run away from my desires lol
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as weak.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to literally run away from my desires within the hope that this will go by moving intensely.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up my desires, especially sexual desires by participation of attraction to specific picture presentations of human women.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I am not here as breath, I tend to desire after woman, because of in the past I defined the expression of approaching woman as a substitution and an attention divertion from the fact that I desire to be myself who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define power as having money and woman.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a relationship with a woman.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am according to the emotional movements within me - what are built up by thoughts, what are built up by my dishonesties.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define straightness and inner silence as something what makes me tired.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to stop defining myself as tiredness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not assist and support myself unconditionally in every single moment of every single breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self responsibility to practically changing myself.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to assist myself unconditionally and be the living example of practical change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worship within my mind to specific pictures.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up for myself as myself by allowing my thoughts, feelings, emotions to define my reality and my experiences and expressions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am worshipping with 2d pictures within my mind and judging and defining it separatedly from me trough thoughts feelings and emotions - I am not here as the totality of myself - but only a fraction of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define desire as a force what drives me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to drive myself as me as one as equal and designing desires separatedly from me to determine who I am, how I mush act, how I mush react - instead of being here as moment as breath as me as life as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to want to have free will, instead of realizing that this is a silent secret agreement trough beings as they and me are allowing ourselves to continue existing as deliberate dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that this moment is the result of the past, and if I do not stop the mind as me - it will remain this until I do not stand up as life unconditionally, right here.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that freewill is an excuse to not conside all as one as equal as life but to say that I have the right to do that within the act of self-interest.

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