The unification of man

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire for sex without actually exploring myself here about why and how I desire - because I already realized that desire is of and as self-dishonesty - and if I accept myself to desire - I am accepting myself as self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as desire as energy - and defining that I am less energy when I desire a lot - revealing that I am defining myself as energy as desire as dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I built up a system within and as me what is measuring the amount of self-dishonesty and this measurement has to be within a specific domain to remain the current being who I perceive myself to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from 'too much' energy, and fear from 'too less energy' - to simply become an organic robot what makes preprogrammed things to avoid these conditions by utilizing it's developed methods to manipulate indirectly the 'energy level' of my mind as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define sex as a tool to balance my energy level by releasing too much energy and neutralizing me as mind as energetic manifestation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as energy - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as mind - instead of realizing that the mind is became a separate entity within me what is controlling me because I allowed and accepted it to not take self responsibility here as one as equal with and as everything of me.

I forgive myself that I have not allowing myself to stand up when I am experiencing the realization that the past is here and if I react - I am not here, I am remaining within the past - so I push myself to stop, I push myself to explore why the need and urge exists within me to react automatically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have more joy when I experience something what I defined as joy - like for example I get a piece of chips and then I want more and more and I go and get - by an event from outside from me.

It is the same with touch, hug, kiss, sex - I trust myself within and as the moment and I face what I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest - and then in a moment I do hug with a being and then I want it more - then I want more!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself to an extent when I am being directed trough my suppressions and literally I do something what I am not directing, but I am being directed - for instance 'loosing my head' when somebody is fondling my body - and then by memory the urge arises to want more and to become excited and aroused -
This is a transcendence point - when I am facing with the truth - I am here and then I am realizing that the past is here - and when I let it to direct me - I just prove to myself that I am my past - and I am not here - I am not exploring what is here(or yes for a moment - like I said - that: the past is here lol) and then I am here as my past - not as my actual expression as who I am as moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use as an excuse to want to have sex or orgasm just because in the last years I've suppressed it extensively - instead of realizing that I was worshipping to keep up the status quo within my fight within my mind as myself -- instead of stopping reacing and stopping being dishonest.