Friday, November 13, 2009

breath

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I made myself to get used to stress/hold my jaw strongly when I am not here as natural breath self expression but within and as a past-based fear-programmed personality manifestation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stress my jaw when I am in a situation what I want to control,manipulate with resistance,fight - instead of realizing that I am not here as breath as inner silence but of an influence of past as self-deception.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I stress and hold my jaw - because I am so fucking busy with the tactic to try to fight against what is already here - that I am not aware of that as more I resist - the subject will remain more - as it is equal and one as me as what I express.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to release my jawstress unconditionally within and as each breath here.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize the thought-emotion-feeling patterns what makes me resist/fight agains myself because of fear of facing myself and what I've accepted and allowed myself to became.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust me here as breath expression as life as all as one as equal because I define self trust as based on memory instead of being here naturally by and as let go of all fear as the practical realization as I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire after sex because I've defined sex as a possible way out from problem, as a method to make available the inner silence as breath expression and by that I limited myself into simply a desire after what is not here - after what is not real based on memory what is referring to something what is not here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire after sex for a possible release and solution for my sexual desire after woman and sex and energetic experience of sex and orgasm - instead of realizing the cause, the core and embracing and forgiving what I have accepted and allowed and by understanding the why - I am able to realize the how - about to stop - because it is common sense to stop.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to express myself unconditionally always here regardless to situation, to energy, to beings - as I am here - I am expression as breath as life as all as one as equal within oneness and equality.

By this statement - I am able to see what must be done - what must be released, must be corrected and embraced and stopped - entirelly - without judging or finding a starting point of 'why' - because it is not of the why, it is who I am here as all life.
It is not of an any why - about why I stop the inner dialogues -- I am inner silence - and when I am not - then I am not(here).

What is real? what is here - so if I am not - then I am not real - then I am of deception - what is conditional - so will vanish - in fact who I think to be - will vanish and the I remain as presence as life.

I forgive myself that I deceive myself by wanting to stop some dishonesties but still allowing myself to being directed and eventually not practically changing -- and proving to myself that myself I am not being directed as self as presence but the previously and actually here continously accepted self-definition based on dishonesty as fear as conformity,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being me as who I am - by judging myself according to norms or escalating possible outcomes of other being's responses after my expression -- and then by my desire to control/manipulate other's decision by self-interest---instead of being here directive as who I am and not driven by outside forces only self-directive principle.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself separated from what is outside of my human physical body.
I
I am here as breath as self directive principle as all as one as equal as life.

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