Thursday, July 8, 2010


Writing quite much in hungarian -- communication through emails, basically blogging to others lololol

Fascinating to realize that I can already be breath - the decision must be lived to actually stop any participation within past definitions and push myself as mother giving birth - breath by breath pushing life into this world...
Breath orgasm - for moments I experience - and I realize - this is it what I was after for long years - but I never could stabilize - as I defined it after tiny moments -it was gone - but actually it is possible to express it within stability as presence within self I push - and this can be done in any place at any time...
And then I defined it and then I transformed into sexual - then I was playing with my genital for a while and then I stopped lol and released and breathed through -- at the moment my partner is gone for weeks and it is fascinating to see how I strive in hope for something other sexual activity - not many times but sometimes it still compounds and takes me away from here and then I realize that no choice - I must stop - right here or I will waste x amount of time and then I will stop - so the stupidity and stubborn nature of my personality reveals.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope after sex instead of stopping desire, stopping defining, stopping escape from the real deal - what is breath here unconditionally always here.

Many works occur, not much time for communication but I've managed to make a hour vlogs - about money system and about my personality -- I'm still processing them - will take some days...
Also I am in surprising the Desteni sub4sub guys with a tool what I develop in secret - will be usable soon for automatize mechanical YT participations - lol it is not a secret anymore for those who read my blog...anyway enjoy breath live here


Desteni said...


Great simple read and cool support on stopping the sexual outbursts of need - I am quite going through that as well after well, stopping my regular activity indefinitely so yes, cool self forgiveness point on not 'hoping' or 'being following' those thoughts but simply stop and breathe the energy compounding to all self and just remain here -

It's quite cool to know you've been vlogging, I have a constant application to take on as myself while vlogging into further support to stand one and equal as my expression in the words that i am living as myself and stopping the subtle doubts of myself when sharing in front of a camera -

cool, 'looking forward' to seeing those videos and awesome! on the tool for sub4sub!! that would be great as yest it takes a lot lot of breaths to get through it in a day -

thanks for your message as support - let me know how was the coffee and the 'horizontally' holy mountain re-mastered version was.


cool to read you as always

Anonymous said...

btw that's Marlen yet desteniespanol account was 'on' in google so - yes.

(Bella) said...

great sharing Tala hello breath breathing hola Marlen Bella

(Bella) said...

great sharing Tala hello breath breathing hola Marlen Bella