Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Something changed

This myself as I am is not same as before.
I am getting the point to not to take any drugs anymore...
Slow but more stable more direct.
I am.
Am I?

Who I am if I am not me anymore as who I was?
Who I was - was I am?

The starting point as all as one as equal as breath - as I remain.
The girl - the need, the fear -all are me - am I accepting me as separation, as desire, as defeat? Not anymore. Not anymore.

This self forgiveness brings me the fact that I am not forgiving within as moment - mostly it is intent - when it is so called 'serious shit' - such as deep deep desire manifests.
I am self honest for an extent when I am aware what to do but I am not doing - it is not real - it is separation. But the unification is already here. I am expressing myself and breathing. Changing. The days are changing me. As I as days as me changing.
But this changing is going to be an unchanging when the change is over. And the change of me as me as who I AM - is the releasing the mind consciousness system practically.

So this situation - self forgiveness is like a huge river and I am in the middle and swirling, swimming all time against the flow and sometimes I just release and I am here and I direct. No, this is bullshit. Bullshit generator.
Direct manifestation. The left thumb pain arises as I judge myself. Stabilization as writing as self as breath in as hold in and as aloud I say I forgive myself that I have accepted to judge myself within my writing expression and I stop judging and I stop wanting to be profound.

So this relationship issue as transcendence. I am so fucking self-special-interested that I tend to let it go so fucking simply fuck them and fuck them all these are me then I am here and I am breathing and I do what I do.

I was so fucking busy because I was so fucking busy.

Since I came back from the rainbow - I like to lay down and considering myself for a moment and where is my breath? Where am I?

I almost forgot that who I am hahahahahahA.
Concept? fuck the concept of who I am, please.


musi musi

I tried to deny who I was

how fucking dare to deny who I am as all?

I like this music - kraft as it goes the dark deep fast bass - it is real.

this sound is so fucking real

150 BPM

I am so fucking out from who I tend to be that I even do not know who I am.

I got everything what I desired for - almost. All most.
And it's gone. So silly that I am this gone-ness here-ness without LESS.

And you here go chasing rabbits?

I was fearful from telling people how I experience them? Fuck it let's see? what I can loose?
Even a facehit I would be glad at this moment because I am lost within the social empathology.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to tell people how I experience at the moment with them because of self-interest, because of self-definition, because of the self-deceptive illusion of system-compassion to cover my own dishonesty.

Metal claws fast blades vast fades black shades.

Be sure of not being of energy.
I am here as sound as life as all as one as man as equal as life as breath.

New screen and no scream?

I am glad that I am.

I am as unification as man. Here.

So fast it became habit to define me according to her that simply I release her. No need, no need, no need, I am, here.
Transcendence I am, unconditional release I am, absolute self honesty manifestation I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be found, to be raised, instead of realizing that I have to stand up for myself as myself as all as one as equal as life within oneness and equality, here.

Release I am, Stand I am, Forgiveness I am, practicality I am, Life I am, Breath I am.

I forgive myself that I participate within the jack in the box memory and within the next moment I am not here and I tend to turn off here for a moment - instead of being here as presence as breath as expression, especially when I am at work at meeting or somebody is speaking to me for a while about some work stuff what is not directly about my job.

I enjoy myself as breath as expression as self directive principle.
I accept myself as breath as expression as self directive principle.

I express myself as music and as video easily, naturally, without consideration, without concept as who I am as one as equal.

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