Friday, February 18, 2011

From Pain Wisdom to Equal Money System.

About one-two years ago my lower left wisdom tooth was operated out by a half dozen of dentists.
Recently I experience similar symptoms as with that but on the right side: dull pain, jaw become more static, even fever, sometimes twinging, throbbing pain.
It is happened because I did not wash my teeth properly - at the backside, I did not 'reach' with my toothbrush, with my awareness - and it went 'bad' by the years while I consumed tons of sweets for my family, most of the people has teeth issues - probably by default it is coming from DNA and then personal acceptance and allowance...

Last year, the dentist guy told me that that tooth looks like it should be removed, but I fell into self definition according to that: - the operation with the dentists removed the lower left 'wisdom' teeth - was about 4 hours and extremely uncomfortable.
After that - I was regularly visiting the ~dentist university, where the pupils were 'practicing' on me by supervision of a professional teacher. So about for a year - weekly I experienced The dentist chair, the drills, the syringes, the huge light onto my face and the wide mouth opening expression.
That was fascinating - so many times the physical experience triggered a some sort of 'regression' when I closed my eyes, I tried to 'pull back' into my center of my body to leave behind this experience - where actually some physically uncomfortable/avoidable experiences I faced, for instance when with hot metal the intervention 'required' to burn down some parts of the flesh near my teeth, or when getting the painkiller syringe injected into my frontal mouth or my teeth is being pulled with some harsh metal tools...
At these experiences - I was facing myself - and I was able to notice when I did not allow myself to breath naturally - when I literally tried to 'contract' myself and resist the experience and I held back my breath - as this 'program' within me works like the following:
when I am about to experience some physical what I defined before as painful - I am like 'preparing' myself with this 'defense mechanism' wherein I hold my breath back, like 'wanting to skip' this moment, wanting to 'avoid to experience' this moment, but in fact it is my reality.
It is my reality and I am the responsible for it - one and equal.
And if I tend to 'avoid to experience' this event as myself - directly as one as equal - I am not able to realize what and how and why I accepted and allowed to manifest as myself.

And if I am not able to realize the what and how and the why - then I am not able to see the core, the reason, the starting point of this self-dishonesty and then I am not able to directly find practical solution to stop it and then I am continuing participate within and as this 'reaction system' as I defined and accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as this rule-matrix developed through and as words.

So - after a year - about 5-7- teeth was 'repaired' - yet there were about 2-3 what was not finished but then at the dentist university - the year was finished, they started to prepare for exams - and I stopped visiting dentist.
In fact at last summer - at one point - I randomly met with the two dentist guys in the city who were 'practicing' on me before, and they told me, I should arrange with them for a check-time about how my t00th are and then to do the necessary support.

In fact - this is a great opportunity - as this is for free - only the material I paid - and to have proper dentist support - it is really a LOT of money - and I was able to avoid this.

So since a year - I did not care about this - because I was like - 'my teeth were extensively handled almost for a year' - and 'I, myself do not feel pain at the moment' - so I did not take a shit.

Until last week, when I started to experience the pain compounding.
So this week, I visited an other dentist, this time a 'private' one, who gets paid well for interventions(repair, replace, fix etc) but not for the check at the first time.
I told him about the last year and about the pupils, and then he suggested to contact them because here I would need a 'panorama-X-ray' with what the dentist can engage to open up the area around my 'bad' right lower 'wisdom' teeth to take it out asap because maybe that is causing the pain.

Today I had the opportunity to contact the university dentist guys but I didn't - I was busy all day working and I did not direct myself for contacting them and I experienced some inner reactions what I built up before and now I was able to directly face it as it directed me not to act immediately.
This was about 'me not wanting to be unabashed', not wanting to 'use' this service too much, because if I am there, then an other person can not be, so in fact I am taking the place from someone else - who maybe has much more pain or much more urgent medical support.
That was a point what I accepted and allowed within me.
Also I wanted to give some money for the dentist guy who was very patient and enjoyable while he was repairing my teeth - so I decided to give him about 100 euros - as I saw the current dental system and if I would visited for a 'private' dentist - I should had to pay more than one thousand of euros - maybe more - and I wanted to appreciate his work - regardless of that is part of his schooling system process. But then I did not do this - I did not seek after him just to give him some money - because I am grateful - yet I judged myself about this is just stupid for instance - so I did not move.
And at this moment - I should contact him - and today I hesitated - because I experienced this system 'under the hood' within my head, not even 'really' consciously - but more like of 'feeling these kind of energies'.
This is unacceptable.
I stand up from judgments, I stand up for immediate action based on common sense, physical.

I remember Joe Kou also did a VLOG on his hesitation for visiting dentist and he explained the consequences of his procrastination.

Tomorrow I will see, it is possible to find a clinic where they could do X-ray and the operation - but I had this inner reaction of 'what if they are not pro and they fuck up my mouth?'
It is coming to the point of money. The more I can pay for this - the more I can 'hope' that they are able to handle this.
This is how humans accept themselves - who do have money - they can get great support, but who does not - then they go to hell - according to what they will experience - it is how it plays out.
For instance my mother has also teeth issues - but she says she can not afford dentist, thousands of euros to spend to make her 'fake'-teeth from metal and porcelain - that is so expensive!!!

In an Equal Money System - no one would have to fear about they can not get proper dental support - so I do support Equal Money System.

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