[JTL Day 209] Open Source Investigation part 2 - Is it really Free?

I continue with Open Source, starting with the phenomenon called Free Software and leaning to the idea of 'Free and Freedom'.

There is a movement initiated by Richard Stallman and the Free Software Foundation (http://fsf.org)

Reading through Stallman's explanation on how and why he advocates exclusively only to Free software in opposing Open Source - as I get his conclusion it is that 'free software is freedom' and Open source is still 'of interests'.

https://www.gnu.org/philosophy/open-source-misses-the-point.html

" Open source is a development methodology; free software is a social movement. For the free software movement, free software is an ethical imperative, essential respect for the users' freedom. By contrast, the philosophy of open source considers issues in terms of how to make software “better”—in a practical sense only. It says that non-free software is an inferior solution to the practical problem at hand. Most discussion of “open source” pays no attention to right and wrong, only to popularity and success.

For the free software movement, however, non-free software is a social problem, and the solution is to stop using it and move to free software."

Here comes Stallman's idea of real difference:

"A pure open source enthusiast, one that is not at all influenced by the ideals of free software, will say,

-“I am surprised you were able to make the program work so well without using our development model, but you did. How can I get a copy?” This attitude will reward schemes that take away our freedom, leading to its loss.

The free software activist will say,

-“Your program is very attractive, but I value my freedom more. So I reject your program. I will get my work done some other way, and support a project to develop a free replacement.” If we value our freedom, we can act to maintain and defend it.""

Open source means I can look into the source code - it's literally and absolutely transparent, I can fork(reuse) and modify it but after that, I can restrict the modified source's usage, I can make profit out of it to personal(corporate) interest as it does not enforce copyleft* and thus someone can develop closed-source software/product based on the code/knowledge.

* "What is Copyleft?

Copyleft is a general method for making a program (or other work) free, and requiring all modified and extended versions of the program to be free as well."

So, after this programmer introduction - I am asking what can be learned from this in terms of humanity/political/economic perspective?

The creations of "Open" can be monetized and it's further development can be "Closed/Non-free", while the "Free" means that in no way can be monetized, and it will always remain "Open and Free".

The idea is that with Open Source - the information can be shared and distributed transparently and effectively - which can be beneficial for catalyzing research and development and the reason is that corporations (even the big ones) do this, is that their 'interest' is maximizing their effectiveness, which is obviously: profit.

The point of profit is not 'evil' itself - if it's within a holistic principle of considering all participants equally, because our current human system is ingrained with monetary flow to such an extent that it is what keeps it alive - without this kind of 'interest' - there is not enough effective movement even for effective operation/surviving(infrastructure/electricity/food/transport/health care etc).

That is why the Free source is not yet that widely effective, because only few individuals do actually decide to create like that, who are able to have access to the basic requirements for living. If someone can't have food/shelter/healthy living perspective, it's obvious that the priority is to secure that - responsibility for family/surroundings is common sense, however it is crucial to invest into education of the individuals on what impact and consequence we are all accumulating with our decisions and actions.

Also it does not require to have a doctorate about quantum physics or rocket science to figure out that in a way we all are having impact on how the whole system operates, in fact mostly it is greater than we think - it is not difficult to be occupied and overwhelmed by our personal responsibilities that losing or never even had the bigger picture.

To develop skills to be able to investigate and understand effectively not only the personal, interpersonal but the universal levels of energy, resources, dynamics and interconnectedness of all participants within our human systems is also not just possible but very much needed to understand how much inequality and lack of real compassion is happening with actual people's conscience and very few are able to aim real support - and it is not charity I refer to, but to be able to find and access the core of the problems with our morality, the economic and monetary exploitation and deliberate abuse.

It is to understand that currently corporations are part of the already manifested inequality, separation but they are also keeping the system alive so to speak in terms of fueling infrastructure, common good and even the basics for living: electricity, food, basic services.

That is why doing riots, anarchist rage-protests, blame game cannot be a solution, because the participants of that do not even get that they would be the first line to suffering the consequence of the havoc they are willing to wreck, because emotions are in the way to see things through. But in fact we can only take responsibility for acceptances and allowances in terms of our real freedom we personally give away when not standing up to, not only for our own self-interest but for all others equally too.

The current schema for government/political/economic and corporate management is of 'Closed source' thus the details of the hidden agendas cannot be seen thus it is not obvious where the effectiveness, the common welfare of the population is being blocked and also being not obvious why and these questions has to be answered in order to be able to understand what are the facts in order to be able to change the systems what are determining our lives.

Free source and free software is really a great idea and in fact the people are creating those values also has to eat, have shelter, life support, which are not free within this current economic, political, law system. Even if the individuals/groups, who are researching, developing these intellectual values have access to those requirements for a healthy living, there is monetary flow within that support, which is undoubtedly interconnected with the money system as a whole.

Therefore it is also to recognize that the idea of 'Free' can be understood as really just being an 'idea', but interesting to realize also that the starting point of the whole money system as 'need to compete to survive' is also an idea, just it's within everybody's head and thus being played out becoming physical reality with real consequences, which of many are irreversible.

However to recognize the starting point of the strive towards freedom, Free Source, the General Public License - to create something what is for everybody equally: it is something what can be investigated and used as a model for the future within the interest of what is best for all.

Freedom is also an interesting concept - let not go into that - yet -, rather explore some Open Source initiatives:

Open Source Government: http://www.opengovguide.com/

Open Government Plan: https://osc.gov/Resources/OSC_Open-Govt-Plan_Nov2014.pdf

Open Source Ecology: http://opensourceecology.org/ 

http://vimeo.com/58165438

to be continued...

[JTL 197] Transcendence - the movie and beyond part 1

Recently I participated within the
Desteni I Process Live Hangout Movie review: Transcendence.

The hangout can be found here.
(The discussion's technical quality makes it quite challenging to walk, however the discussion is really on the topic!)

And some perspective about Transcendence by Bernard Poolman

Somehow for me, this word  relates to the Painting: Gauguin, Paul: Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? - 1897

So, the movie called Transcendence: About reviews, critics - I've read a lot - just for curiosity - many seemed more like hypo-critics - read lot's of dislikes about the movie, many missed more action, which somehow requires for being counted as a 'blockbuster' - and even some reasoned with 'lack of explosions' - just because the director, Wally Pfister was the cinematographer for many M. Bay action movies, they straight expected similarity, from which this one then felt like failed to satisfy. Well, pity for them, I've really enjoyed it, watched twice, I could even imagine it to be a TV series, just to be able to slow down and open up many related points to explain, but this did not happen, it's alright.

This movie reminded me to the old ones, wherein there was no need for 6 packs of physical action in every dozen minutes with desensitized, beautifully composed ultra high definition of violence combined with virtuo-mega-explosion-porn - which this movie deliberaltely lacks to deliver.

It got reviews of being emotionless, numb, a bit sadness-tainted glassy feel throughout the whole movie, but for me somehow clicked immediately, having the scenario, putting myself into the shoes of Caster having all his possibilities and in a split second it's going away - sure there is this stereotype for aggressive killing machine tantrums for extra-tearless-fast-paced-slowmo punishment protagonists when facing certain end, but come on, the word Transcendence already suggests to step beyond our own immature depiction of entertainment and our reflection for what and who we are and where are we going...

In relation to how Dr Caster behaved in the movie with the pattern I had for instance finding out I had cancer - REALITY - it's like unbelievable, far fetched, it's not really feels real first, just like the horror and massive abuse is being shown on TV - so crisp, crystal-clear depiction, it's like a dream, streamed in 24 frames per second inducing a vivid dream state yet we refuse to realize that this is fucking real, many thousands of people just like us are being killed each day for greed, vengeance and hatred - this point of how physical reality, earth is really being is not yet comprehended, not even considered to actually see what it is how and who we exist as and what must be done to open up in order to really transcend our blindness, just to allow reality to be acknowledged, embraced how and what it is in fact who we accepted to became.

Sure movies has characters as humans do but somehow this whole impression in the movie was really what took me, but probably because I could relate with it, writing codes since childhood, learned some Artificial Intelligence at university and this is being combined with my investigation of what is really going on in existence from different angles - and all leads to one single point whether we acknowledge it or not.

I mean when you face the utter inevitability of certain death - you might consider to see yourself, the world in a different way.

For me it was similar with Caster - not that drastic, but I mean, for me 'cancer' is something what one considers in terms of 'life' - even mine was not 'serious', was handled alright, now it's gone, but still, well, from now on every minute is equally important, so I just have to remind myself to do my best, really best and thus no doubt can fit into me, I can nurture a constant self-direction.

And for that the word transcendence can assist and support to see what actually CAN and should be transcended and then comes the HOW.

I mean to acknowledge how we, as humanity as a whole currently are, the direction, the mean, the image and likeness of it, the character - it is not a nice picture, if one does not prepare to face all the abuse on earth can get crazy from it's immensity - because it is so uncool, only the really whole, stable and self-realized ones can remain really themselves in this deep hell without being influenced/lost/given up or even becoming mad yet act for all life and not lost in reactions...

It is so easy to turn our back to reality when all these sufferings influence us, we can feel sad, hopeless, lost - what experience then we identify that "what I feel is who I am, I do not feel good when I do feel bad, even if it is because how reality is, I just want to feel good anyway" - and then booooom, we look around to find something to feel good about - we are so brainwashed from our fear and tendency to dismiss, disregard reality - we re-define, twist and deceive ourselves by creating false ideas of freedom, equality: just to look at how equality now is considered to be associated with gay marriage and women's right to work or the right for to pray our own self-defined god while - and how freedom is defined as the freedom for secrecy, to buy and own things, weapons even if it means other's enslavement as freedom to exploit, abuse by the law etc...

Everything is deception in the value-system of this world somehow and to even consider to transcend is something what's definition and starting point also should be investigated within self-honesty.

I was walking in 'spiritual shoes' for quite some years and I've recognized a tendency to be distanced/desensitized from the actual sufferings of beings on earth and the inevitability of our death - in order to really let go the ego, the mind-tentacles, one indeed should let go the constant worry and false-compassion of feeling sorry for all the pain being caused in existence to be able to stand up as responsible, but it does not mean to become disregarding, to have excuses/justifications why one stops there or never even starts ACTING to accumulate what would be BEST FOR ALL.

But spiritual 'schools' already figured out a loophole from self-honest common sense point with actually make themselves believe that one first must reach enlightenment with non-attachment and meditation/attainment first and then will be able to help others, while all they do is imitating their own lack of non-attachment (btw, on meditation and non-attachment-related self-support to transcend, Sunette shared a great support once and I've made a video transcription for it, it's here) meanwhile the world system is really making earth to become a hellhole by destroying it's ability for healthy living and more and more are endlessly being abused with the totalitarian corporate enslavement to our own self-religion to energy, money, emotions/fears, hopes and neglect.

It's easy to just say 'suffering is not real', 'ego is not real', 'even our physical is not real', but how one could be more delusional than this?
Everything here in this physical is real - you will not find more real in existence than the physical here. It's not bad, it's our relationship with the physical within consciousness systems is what must be realized/understood/'transcended'. Starting with stopping the perception of separation but I walk this step by step from my point of view. First I've met this word in meditation.

So within spiritual agendas TRANSCENDENCE is a tricky one, because it should even start with the self-purification of the word itself.

Transcendence is a great word, in the system from various ways it's such a great word for providing a pricy product for the craving mind-slaves - it is a bit more direct, less ambiguous word than the word spirituality, which is like something what is not required into any sentence, like a filling, if we take out this word from a sentence, it still remains the same:

'I am walking on a spiritual path' - 'I am walking on a path'.

'I felt the spiritual connection when we kissed in the sunset' - 'I felt the connection when we kissed in the sunset'

'Let's go into Gandhi Spiritual Center' - 'Let's go into Gandhi Center'

See - it's like an energy package what seems to be different and at the same time the same for each human - yet it is like a 'filling', in fact just hiding other layers from self without realizing what it really means.

But for me transcendence seemed more like an action word, it points, moves, animates, let's see what the dictionary says about :

To transcend:

going beyond the limits of ordinary experience, comes from the Latin prefix trans-, meaning "beyond," and the word scandare, meaning "to climb." When you achieve transcendence, you have gone beyond ordinary limitations.

To ask what limitations we mean - it might also be 'personal' - for instance for me walk through self-limitation from inner beingness with want, will, discipline, diligence, honesty from deception, delusion, aimlessness, suppression, depression, dishonesty.

It suggests towards physical manifestation of being able to do better, more which comes from the inner realization of what I do not accept it anymore.

To clarify what can real transcendence start with we must be able to let go the delusions first to see what is reality here and working with facts makes us possible to really change - otherwise we approach reality with the split-misaligned perception and nothing is what it seems, nothing moves as we want, nothing will happen we desire for.

Thus I see priority by common sense to stop self-delusion first - and the Transcendence movie is specific within that because the 'protagonist' so to speak faces the fact that in physical he is lost, will decay, die but did not give up, he just explored what can be extended and expanded and in terms of inner space, inner awareness, an other platform to exist within and as: computer systems.

Many claim consciousness is life, the origin and destination, the alpha and omega of our existence while not realizing and dare to really investigate, explore, cross-reference and actually try to find the limits of consciousness.

What is consciousness and what is the physical?

What is then life? Is it determined by the organic material, the actual cells, the DNA, the information, the energy?

Obviously within this blog post there might be no answer, but more question, the ever-relevant question we are on is the one of: WHO AM I?

Especially when finding oneself within a system, which is already created, manifested, closed, very much automatized, limited, in fact programmed and as much accumulation and constant, consistent action was made to be formed like it is today - the same constant, consistent accumulation is required to see/realize/understand and then actually change it as ourselves as equal as one.

Many even say why change - ourselves, the world - it is PERFECT as it is, nothing to do, nothing to transcend except our strive and occupation for friction - and THEN we can be free of fear, the ego and thus be able to always move in harmony with everything - yet those who claim it do not really act so - do not really can actually DO anything particular - only demon-stating their choice with self-acceptance within self-limitation and not to question their freedom is like believing what is shown in movies/news that it is exactly the reality because believing what THEY experience without experiencing it is like a religion, not fact.

This self-development and the fascination with EXPERIENCE itself is also a good one to explore - what is experience? Many can say for having experience one does not require body, just a mind, a consciousness to move within and explore through - while in fact just being separated from the human physical body within perception and experience.

So then transcending the human life form, to see what is the most prominent, important point we have as issue, it is obvious if we start to explore this point from ourselves, what we, 'me' need first of all, always, constantly and see where to and whom to it is not given, provided but neglected, locked out from based on ridiculous conditions: no physical support, love, equality is existing, the patterns we imagine, desire, plan and manifest our life from are tainted with self-interest, self-delusion, self-suppression and self-defeat.

Food, water, health care, shelter, education is five most fundamental element of any human yet we are unable to provide that unconditionally and all we have is blame and excuse.

To really transcend who we really are today we must learn how to unlearn what we already have became.

Returning back to the movie once more with the 'reasoning' happened for why current human beingness is more and better by saying to exist within contradiction/friction while loving someone and hating at the same time, to have emotions, feelings while not seeing what really it is:

-Human emotion...It can contain illogical conflict.Can love someone......and yet hate the things that they've done. Machine can't reconcile that.

- Can you?
- Yes.

If we really look at it, what actually tells about us how we accept ourselves to exist and with what starting point while not realizing the manifested consequences we create in our reality: Human Consciousness is an energy-friction relationship-network conglomerate, a system, what always exists in polarities, with our thoughts/feelings/emotions hardwired into this system we are being influenced, directed, lived through these relationships separate from our physical beingness, separated from physical earth, separated from our inner self, each other, etc yet we do not recognize that we went too far and in fact are unable to stop this at any time we want, because we became it, became dependent on it, we are separated from each other, from what is here, from who we are through and as this mind consciousness system which always creates/requires energy, dependent on the substance and tries to imitate life.

Just as in the movie: Will Caster's(cool name) uploaded consciousness requires more processing power, more hardware, more energy from physical reality in order to exist, to expand, to influence, to conquer and while we are being mesmerized with this conflict in the movie among fear of change from the 'terrorists and government' and the Caster's predictable change towards technical solutions, virtualisation, connection, evolution etc, we miss the point of the word containing it's definition: con sciousness

Latin conscius: sharing knowledge, from com- with + scīre to know, as in the movie was referred to :

-"Can you prove that you are self-aware?"
-"Do you?"

And to actually see what is this self, and to be aware is also an interesting word:

aware: having or showing knowledge or understanding or realization or perception

[Old English gewær; related to Old Saxon, Old High German giwar Latin verērī to be fearful; see beware, wary]

So as we explore how this system is already pre-defined, pre-programmed, pre-ordained with words, relationships, systems and how we, individuals actually react and operate within action while what exact inner reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions are emerging we realize that most of our existence is already created as it is and we can say that it is ourselves who decided and created ourselves to be who we are today, but then the point of self-limitation comes into the picture that what are our limits, and what are the reasons to accept those limits?

What limits can be transcended, 'go beyond'? How our limits have been created/accepted/being maintained? What are perceptional and physical limits?

Is there any fear what stops us? Is there any desire what distracts us? Why is that?

That is why I refer to the painting what is at the top of this blog posts:

Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going?

Without knowing, understanding, seeing/realizing these points - we are not aware, we are not transcending, just evolving the same as who we were before.

Without figuring out a way from this inequality, this closed consequence-reflection system within our own mind and shared physical reality we remain the same. And to say who and how we are is human nature is like accepting our limitation without even be aware what exactly are our limitations and why they exist and how has been created. Nothing mystical or secret exists within this or hidden magic/sacred wisdom - everything is always here - in front of our eyes, as who we are, as what we do - if we do not see this - we do not know ourselves, we do not know what is here, we do not know anything!

But to walk through the mind, the relationships, the reactions, the personalities, the words - we can learn our creation and be responsible.

The definition of god is what we define it to be - if we accept it as a higher power, it is like accepting ourselves to be a slave, trying to pretend being irresponsible yet claiming free will - it is contradiction, con-tra-dic-tion - controlled-tradition, conned trained addiction, contained dicktation...

These are the points today I reflect from this movie, Transcendence and how to assist and support ourselves from practical, measurable, simple common sense way out from our lack of understanding, from our accepted self-limitation with the Desteni message, tools, study material and group of people.

Self-forgiveness is a self-reflection, a self-direction, self-expression to explore what we have allowed and accepted to became and to realize what must be stopped and changed, really, not only in the mind, but in and as physical reality.

Word by word we re-discover our already manifested creation in the mind and in reality and taking responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed and by being aware the facts, the specific details, we give ourselves a clean vision, a new chance, and forgive ourselves for 'falling' and commit to really change, transcend.

We can talk about happiness, love, freedom of individuals, groups and humanity as a whole but the equation is pretty simple:

Give as you would like to receive.

Love thy neighbor as thyself.

What I would like to have as a human being for living, what I already have, what we tend to be taken granted while if I look at the human system many lack of and they actually suffer and die yet we seclude ourselves into the idea of lack of transcendence with reason, with clarity within friction with confusion until we all get old, sick and die while pretending to love some. It's just weird.

Everybody dies. What is the reason to live? The future, the children to come, the destiny of mankind?

Isn't that love to consider what we leave behind when we die? What to love in this? What IS love then? Is there love? Isn't our love is conditional, pre-defined, limited?

What would mean unconditional love and what it is the price we give away for our adherence to deny our ability, responsibility to transcend our limitations?

To accept people die in hunger, to not having access for water - it is our lack of transcendence - within the delusion of religion of "self-interest", while even the word shows - "self: in the rest" - I am in the rest as well, as equal, as one.

Thus real transcendence in this current scenario we are existing within is not the body to let go, not the nanotechnology to become, not to upload into computer consciousness to be faster, omnipresent, more smart but to understand that we are what we accept and allow as it is consent, it is responsibility, it is self.

Seeing human our-selves to be mesmerized, controlled, divide, separated with energy, fear, money, value systems it is inequality, it is separation from others, in fact self.

We must equalize the money point, the unequal distribution of power on earth in order to transcend our own limitation for be able to live unconditional practical love.

To equalize the money point, to manifest human right REALLY for all from birth unconditionally, equally - to have enough for living by default is already entailing much of the doable, measurable, obvious transcendence which is not in the meditation, spiritual consciousness traveling we can find, but within the simple, basic needs of a human being to give as would like to receive: food, shelter, water, health care, education.

That is my points to give into the word of Transcendence - and pronounce again - I've walked many paths within spiritual/psychedelic/shamanic/tantric 'ways' to dissolve into non-duality and try to overcome my limitations and acceptances and allowances but it is clear that Self-honesty is the eye of the needle to find out what is real transcendence - and to recognize what must be done in terms of stopping participating within consciousness systems, the mind, thoughts, feelings, emotions of polarities to let go and really change, completely, consistently within full understanding of self and consequence.

Thus for transcending one does not require anything but self to be really able to acknowledge/explore/stop and change which for Self-forgiveness is the most practical way to accumulate practical awareness of why and how to actually do that, step by step, one breath at a time.

Because with Self-forgiveness one takes responsibility as a creator/created/creation and becomes aware of self-acceptance and when facing what is being forgiven it comes 'here' - and self starts to see the details, the reasons, the starting points - which is required to self learn to directly change.

I could write much-much more about the movie, the symbolism, the characters, the ideas, the depiction of the movie, but for now this is enough, check out the hangout about it wherein with Mike and Joana (check out their video channel as well with the link in their names) we discuss similar points, 'Taking Transcendence to the next level, with destonian perspective'.

For embracing the word Transcendence I've found the most profound, supporting and surprisingly new perspective within learning about creation, existence, the mind, self-support, business, sex, animals, death and many-many more at http://eqafe.com, which I listen regularly, almost every day, because as I see it is a very strong pillar for the future of education.

Also to start practically work on self-limitations and expanding practical awareness, I suggest Desteni I Process online courses, the starter is the DIP LITE, no money is required, yet a seasoned buddy is supporting the one who starts to explore oneself within regular writing and self-investigation, self-change.

What I will continue with is Self-forgiveness and Self-correction, Self-commitment about the word Transcendence.

[JTL 138] Why I promote Living Income Guaranteed?

There are many reasons for why one can support/promote Living Income Guaranteed, there are quite some dedicated websites, articles, videos, I simply add my reasons here as I have found this as very important to get recognized, understood for what it means as the implementation of it depends on the people who realize their responsibility not only for themselves and their direct reality but all of humanity as a whole as well. This apparently hidden aspect of ourselves will be more and more revealed and realized as our accepted, maintained human system escalates to greater inequality and abuse and destruction.

Actually it is also important to realize the relationship of the individual human being with humanity as a whole as an equal and one relationship, which means what it describes: that any individual single human being is actually equal and one with all of humanity here - regardless of one is being aware of it or not - each individual is equally responsible for all what is here as we are all equally of the same substances, of the same Earth, of the same Life Essence.

Obviously it does not mean each humans has to do and be the same - but each has to understand the basic concept of our existence which is, surprisingly: give as you would like to receive: equality.

Is that even means you receive as you give? Well, first of all how we can expect something from others what we deny to even theoretically grant to them?

Is that totally cool to have food, shelter, water, health care while others do not receive such fundamental support for living?

THEN one can say he/she does not have the power, the knowledge, the directive to practically be able to CHANGE the current system towards a one which would give life-support unconditionally for all.

That would be a concept which Earth has not yet seen - but most people declare this to be impossible, because it is challenging and requires us to CHANGE individually.

THEN one can also say, there are levels of responsibilities which looks like ends with people's family, partner, even village or city by stating: "I am barely able to maintain myself, not even able to consider others, all others."

There are not much people who just can say: alright, I have worked enough, achieved enough, I am fulfilled, now I want to do other things, for other people  - no, most people do remain busy to maintain their living until their last breath.

If we see the human being as what it is: it's obvious that beyond healthy food, water, shelter, health care what forms one's beingness the most: is education, cultural imprints.

Teaching is the most important factor within a human's life if the basic needs are met - so it is obvious that how one is being educated will impact how will be able to see, be, move and actually 'live' in the system.

What is the system: our external creation, one and equal reflection of ourselves: System of rules and regulations, laws and order, mutual agreement among people what actually determines who can do what and actually how.

It is so fascinating to see - if I look back - I was not aware of these simple things - I was so busy in my head with all of my looping thoughts, trigger-able feelings, blurry emotions, avoiding my fears, chasing my desires being occupied so much to not be able to see the most simplistic points within existence which can be applied to all equally(needing food, shelter, health care, education).

I was also busy fighting for my own survival, working for my own goodies, but I was never satisfied really - as I was busy manifesting my dreams - I realized I can not participate effectively in the system as I feel like I am abusing others with the current money system rules - so my attempt was to leave the world/money-system, as I thought - "If I do not participate in it, then I am not 'responsible' so then I am really good, so then I can continue enjoying 'my life' ".

That did not work out - basically I was too split and conflicted mostly - so then I was wondering how to actually be content and satisfied - and then there was this idea of 'others' what I did not get really, only from 'my' point of view: I could only enjoy being 'myself' if I could be sure(by facts) that others are also enjoying their living.

This sounds like a free ticket in the asylum as this really fucks up the ego: only enjoy myself if I could did already all for others? In this world, with 7 billions of people how the dirty **** I could get that done?  Especially seeing the history and realizing no one did this before.

Then for a while I was screwed with mind-fucks like enlightenment and spirituality as there was this wild desire to be able to become effective, capable, stable, powerful, whole - so then I tried with those methods and eventually I had to realize these are for 'experiences' and not 'facts'.

Disregarding physical rules, systems, laws, dynamics especially with those what are strongly determining our daily experiences such as money system, capitalism while focusing to heavens, after-lifes, buddhas, energies, states of consciousness of course did not really assist me with more understanding on practical level on Earth how to change to be what would be in the benefit of all beings.

After realizing that for me zen, buddhism, meditation, energies, chakras, sacred geometry, psychedelic drugs did not help - these showed glimpses sure and then I've became obsessed with these experiences and I was still busy avoiding, judging lawyers, businessmen, politicians, celebrities as judging them being lost and denying responsibility while I felt powerless and unlucky but then I had to realize - there is nothing in this existence what I can stand as separated from - that separation is me in and as my own mind - my personal Jesus being fool-loved in the forms energy of my thoughts, feelings, emotions - which are again only: experiences, not lasting.

I've got slaps in my face, I had to realize that the accumulation of disregarding my own personal physical life by praising experiences, looking always forward from here for what I desire - became automatic, I've became obsessed with ideas unrelated to physical until I did not lose almost everything, even my physical life as I was so busy with experiences I did not see what I was causing.
After facing some eye-opener accidents, consequences I realized if I do not move myself, I will sacrifice my physical body in my one of energetic rushes for some experiences, which will then end with my total failure to satisfy myself with the simple point of being myself who I can enjoy just be as I was always sure that if I would die now, I die before I could really become who I really can be, what frustrated me more than anything, so I was able to question myself to consider new paradigms, to let go ideas, obsessions and beliefs and started to investigate more what is real, what is real power which then lead me to find the Desteni guys, with the huge amount of material to study.

Desteni I Process(which is referring to a process what each 'I' can walk who takes responsibility) is here for to assist us to understand these basics of our living: that each of us has a mind which can be programmed, in fact already programmed to accept what is here currently.

It is possible to understand how we actually are directly responsible how our mind perceives, how our beingness feels, how we react, what we enjoy, what we don't but these things are not taught in schools.

To understand that each singular thought also has consequence, that emotions are the result of programming the mind and in fact how we accumulated to be who we are today, just to mention allowing a 'civilization' which year by year causes 30 thousand kids to die which is fact and it is not 'positive', sure - but unless we do not face the facts - it is not possible to change those.
That is why it is difficult to speak up - people will judge the facts as 'negative' while can not direct their own mind to stop 'judging, feeling negative' therefore they will feel shitty so much so then they become unable to 'enjoy' their life because all of the abuse is obvious.
But walking with Desteni I realized it is about to not judge, just see what it is and not be defined by our experiences - as once Bernard told me when I asked him about shall I take a job what I judged as dirty he said: -"If you judge the Matrix, it got you".

My initial and most 'strong' resistance and reaction to share and promote Desteni I Process and Living Income to people is that there are people who actually 'feel' alright, cool, their life is not struggle and they can enjoy being human - as some of the people's reaction around me was that
-"Why constantly forgiving yourself, why don't just forgive yourself completely once and for all and then simply enjoy living?"
My answer was something like this:
-"Well, I would not do self-forgiveness if I would not need it, you can believe that, I'd be the most glad to be able to stand and say: I have forgiven all and in fact changed all aspects of me what was not fully who I really am."

But I do not know - as the 'devil is in the details' - to the utmost specificity, just like with any other physical creation: just see a computer, a cellphone - everything in it's design is very specific and perfect in order to work properly and I do not become aware how to make such things just 'contemplating on it: "computer computer computer" unless I am exactly aware of all why's and how's and then it is still a 'theory' what must be placed in physical practical reality.
It is not enough to learn driving a car from a book - I have to allow my body to learn doing it, first of all physically learning to understand the dynamics, to change those without thinking - or with guitar chords - I know all basic chords now, but I can not play songs as I have to learn to use the strumming, the melodies, the tempo, the fretting specifically, one by one to accumulate into a practical knowledge.

So first of all - Self-forgiveness is about becoming aware of actually who I am(what is actually all what is here, the concept of separation is also a thought of the mind).

It is an ability to see myself: I see what I have accepted and allowed in my existence ALREADY.

To even realize the extent I've manifested myself today here, I must realize what is here, which seems ridiculous, but once one dares to try Self-forgiveness can quickly realize: Self-forgiveness is the perfect reflection of who we really are:
If one refuses to forgive what has been already accepted and allowed to manifest in this world, meaning how exactly in physical world one is responsible for it - while does not want to change it or not knowing how to do so - always sounds like a "fuck you" to those who struggle, survive, fight and die while they facing being rejected as not accessing the basic needs for physical living.

And there is this experience <- -="" versus=""> physical reality apparent opposition thing which also twists a bit as humans define themselves according to experiences - feeling good, feeling shit, feeling okay - seems like the most powerful card in this game to prove that one is just as cool as currently being and nothing needs to change, nothing to forgive only being stimulated to have good experiences.

As within this blog and many-many other Journey to Life blogs - it is about the patterns what we exist as without being aware of: one point reveals an other and it can go as the layers, the webs of the consciousness definitions, rules, personalities, imprints are everywhere. I did 'examples on how Self-forgiveness is actually a Self-awareness reflection: as what I give for myself - and then in physical I can see: do I really give for myself a new chance or I just say it? So then it is how reflects: am I what I say or I am split between words and actions? How I do not see the exact differences of my words and my actions and what I experience while I participate within reality?

Forging experiences what overwhelm the senses of physical facts - experiences seem more intense in the mind than the reality within one is - so then to promote experience beyond facts is also a favorable - which means if I feel good, then it is more relevant than 'they do not feel good' - and there is nothing more to do but finding reasons, justifications, excuses for accepting my experiences as 'positive' being more important as their experience of 'negative' within the delusion of 'freedom' -

 "I seemed to be free to choose my experiences to be relevant, so others also can 'freely' choose experiences what they feel good about."

And then to not being able to grasp how experiences in the human mind are created, stimulated, obsessed with; means one is not able to understand why actually experiencing what, which is in fact the opposite of any definition of 'freedom' as one had no choice within becoming who one currently is: for that the specific understanding is required about how actions and consequences really accumulated.

But simply accepting experiences, accepting thoughts, accepting feelings as 'self' - is like a random possibility to 'maybe able to grasp how all are equally requiring food, shelter, health care, education'.

What I wanted to pronounce here is that there are many people who do actually feel good/great, have access to resources and blatantly able to go on like that without realizing that those who have are always more responsible to share with those who do not have.

Who do not have resources - naming it: money - do not have much choice as their only choice currently is to get food, shelter, water, health care somehow or they will be refused, rejected, disregarded.

Just try it out - go to an other country without a coin and feel good - especially after becoming ill and not having the support - I know this on personal experience: when I was in India alone without money, support and I was very-very sick - the whole world was different: I was able to focus to only the basics: eat, rest, try to be better and eventually somehow be able to return to Europe where I can get support from family, health care system etc to get healed. It is very difficult in a place like India, Bihar to fully recover from sickness without support, without money. And I was 'lucky' as I was able to learn, try and study a lot before being exposed to that, so I had abilities what most uneducated people do not 'get'. Just consider those who can not read/write - what chance they get on a decent living? Who is responsible?

Facing this world directly without the pink eye-glass already feels bad, especially when we consider facts - the billion people in poverty - to be able to consider ourselves just as equal as they are - requires ability to put myself into their shoes. No 'strings attached', no experience, no explanation - just factual reality.

Desteni message is not fluffy, it is about enslavement to realize, to prepare us to stand up and take responsibility to stop it - it is obvious that the silly idea of 'there are more responsible people' does not work, like politicians who then screw up - only they are responsible? What about the people who vote and allow them to rant with all the power what people has given permission to use? What about our current education system what is not teaching about reality, the mind, self, energies, existence but history of accumulation of acceptance of abuse, deceit, so fucking proud of our civilized standards which is basically continuous genocide and suppression - just look at the current Syria - just being screwed up for centuries and it will not be stopped and the survived people are homeless, exhausted, starving.

Myself I have never starved really - but when I did not eat for some days properly I've became quite frustrated, irritated, reactive, weak when I did not eat for a day for instance and then I have eaten, rested - but to live like that for days, weeks, years - sometimes I wonder why people still do not pillage the malls but then I realize because of the fear of being detained, shot, tortured, abused, killed- all the government is doing is protecting ourselves from each other, really - I am not sympathizing with it, it should be different, for instance implementing Living Income Guaranteed, but in fact only the government and it's system establishments are what is preventing the hungry, frustrated and rejected people to simply take what they lack by force.
But even the law enforcement will not stand a chance to stop the crowd if people will get to the point of even that is better if they are being shot than starving and being abused for decades.

That government is what we are all equal with - and those frustrated people are also ourselves.

It is time to compass us with the principle of Equality and Oneness to realize how each of us are capable to take responsibility and live as an example for all.

So my time is nearly over for today but for understanding what ALL equally need such as food, shelter, health care, education does not require to finish university nor ancient babbling scripts, neither repeating foreign mantras for energy persuaded by charismatic masters or taking mind-blowing drugs to barely be able to speak or walk properly - to simply just see our own basic needs: yaaay - it is the same for all.

To neglect that, to disregard that, to ignore that is problem, is actually a result of such accumulation which did not consider all facts, all participants with common sense.

There are actually real people who approach Desteni Group with understanding what is the Liveable Income Guaranteed and why it would be really the best for all participants - but it is not a requirement - for some as I was - it is a process to understand - first get out of personal maze to able to see and study physical reality which I was stimulated to by fed up the internal conflicts first to realize: I have no idea why these conflicts I re-create and actually how - and slowly but surely understanding how to actually stop the inner conflict, the doubt, the fear, the desire, the paraNOISE of the mind which is an instant self-reflection internal machine what we indentify ourselves with: that is problem, not only for individual living but for all participants within this human system.

Money goes almost everywhere and until each do not have access to it, which means surviving, living, growing - then there is always a division: those who have and accepting those who do not have.

Living Income means for those who do not have: there is a system maintained by all to give - unconditionally, just like the word LOVE would indicate.

For me it is obvious that our concept of love is of the mind, of experiences, feelings, of personal priority - love is a concept what is always compromised by our self-accepted limitation which is in fact who we have became.

To correct this, to re-align ourselves with such idea of 'unconditional love' would indicate the idea of 'no man left behind' - as if love is not applied to all - then that love is conditional, there is this interest which divides us within perception which is always responsibility as it has impact on physical reality, wherein, as who we exist on Earth all equally.

With Desteni I Process online self-support courses (starting with the free DIP LITE course) one can learn to understand, to change, to take self-responsibility.

If one has already programmed self-acceptances and allowances - might not want to understand their  action's consequences - even if it has impact on others - this is problem, which can be changed step by step - focusing on education(DIP, EQAFE) and supporting ourselves, our children to be able to develop common sense, be able to understand facts and realizing how the mind works which can be a tool but certainly not our starting point as energy which is just an accumulated result of our separation from who we are here in and as the physical.

See - being physical is not 'less' - identifying ourselves with consciousness systems is not 'more' - is actually less and money is just a manifestation, a representation of our separation from equality with ourselves.

Personally what went through within me in regards to money in my life was the following in the last ten years:
-Ahh, shit I do not have money for what I want to do in this world, this world sucks, humanity is fucked
-Ah fuck, I still want to do what I wanted, I have to work hard to get what I want, this still does not worthy, especially becoming a money-monger, even to participate with money feels dirty
-OMG, I've managed to escape from money system, I can live, however somebody always pays something for me, yet I can still not get what I really wanted(music instruments were these in that time)
-Olala, I do not want to say in my last moments that 'because of lack of money I did not live who I wanted to be, even when I could work as I have professions, skills, diligence, so I choose to go back into the money system and actually work
-Okay, I work and I get my instruments IN the money system, but as I see this system, it is not so cool with all just as with me - this system is full of crap - I can get what I want, but what about others?
This always bugged me, especially coming from poor family - even if I have spared some money in the last month - if my family members are lacking basic needs (for instance this winter proper shelter) - it just does not 'feel' right to buy an other expensive musical instrument while my family is freezing out as their heating system is wrecked, has to be repaired.

So then it is obvious what is the priority - even if I do not have ever that instrument(what I doubt, I can work) - somehow within Self-honesty it is obvious which is more important.

As those who march on streets in bulk for stuff what seems to be personally important for 'experiences' - will not be solution - it's like the Ship of Fools - each wants something yet not seeing the whole ship will sink while all are divided with their own, apparently 'original and valid' idea of their freedom.

I am certainly not against gay marriage, sure I support, but there are much more eager points to solve than this, such as the cannibalistic, vampire nature of our relationship with experiences, physical, life, energy, each other with the capitalism, even with the cost of destructing each other not seeing it is directly self-harm.

So Desteni I Process is also assisting and supporting many how to understand, find, develop, share Self-honesty not only on personal but on universal scale. I walk the DIP course since a while and still there much to go and previously I have finished quite some school, education out there and I never stop learning new skills but what this course shows is that us, as current humans are not understanding who and how we really are - and this course is challenging our addiction to our mind, to our energetic experiences, to our excuses and justifications for why we accept one billion people today existing below poverty line and they every day suffer more than we, who we have all fancy gadgets could ever imagine - and we have money, we have time, we have some resources, they don't.
We can not wait for the rich to save us - no one will do so - each has to stand up and as within my standing up - I suggest also to stand up with Self-honesty while becoming the living example and share ourselves by using common sense, sharing realizations and understandings what we directly walked through - phobias, fears, desires, addictions - those can be sorted out if one is dedicated and able to develop practical Self-honesty.
 
So for today that's about the current human system - and it is Common Sense and Self-honesty to be able to understand real, physical priorities - and if one lacks of these understandings, there is no excuse, there are specific facilities, courses, groups to assist to learn practical common sense, self-honesty.

For a mother it is not required to explain the child needs support - yet within the failure of that mostly all mothers of earth are in this bubble of 'my child is the most beautiful, most important' - which is then also requires remediation, self-support to stand for all life and actually what it would mean to do it practically, in this current system, today, tomorrow.

Living Income Guaranteed is a more practical, common sensical answer for the current human system's need than anything before. It is not a product what we just take and it is in effect but we must find practical ways to make it working - with current technology it is possible the redistribution of resources, the needs and goods to all. All reactions to this, to practical equality is our accepted mind stepping in automatically - that can be also understood within specificity.
At Desteni there are educators, teachers who walk already as an example since quite some years, proven that principled living is very possible and human can change themselves with dedication, consistency and motivation.

The Basic Income Grant is very cool stuff, study it, but as it is proposed, not practical, not really a solution, so that's why the Income should not be just basic, but a decent, LIVEABLE.

And there are significant differences with BIG - but the idea is the same: love thy neighbor as thyself in a practical, measurable mannerism in and as the physical reality, where our bodies with their needs are.

There are forums, discussions, chats, videos, articles, blogs, vlogs about the topic, it will be more obvious for more and more people as the system becomes extremely polarized until everyone gets it: it is about how we manage equality to manifest in the physical level.

That is why all mysticism, spirituality, religions fail big time - more and more 'scandals' come out as they disregard physical facts, priorities, common sense with separation, definition, excuses and justifications for why to accept abuse what is happening each day and to solve that always starts with the basic needs for all - until that is compromised, there is no such thing what would be more important, not even kneeling down to our own mind's creations to beg for better experiences.

That's all for today, thank you very much, I suggest to study Living Income Guaranteed:

Living Income Guaranteed website
Living Income Guaranteed facebook group
Living Income Guaranteed youtube group-hangouts 

Desteni I Process LITE - to grasp basic principles to be able to understand, direct, change our lives

[JTL 80] Desteni eyewitness: It is Real

Artwork: Manuela Destonian

My name is József Berta, many people know me as Talamon, which is just a nickname I've got in childhood and kept it. I was born in Szeged in 1979, living in Budapest, Hungary

I have qualification of bookkeeping, economy and programming mathematics, software engineering - not that it really matters but it gives some perspective about my initial education.

I am here writing about how I've joined the Desteni Research Group through the Equal Life Foundation in 2007 August, when I've started the Investigation.

Before I found the Desteni principles, people, group:
I was always fascinated about how creation and things really work and that I never stopped looking for.
While I was student, I was looking into different kind of 'revelations' from mainstream 'science' in terms of what is reality and who we are as humans. I was fascinated with history, biology, archeology meanwhile learning computer science quite easily and what I realized was that science and history could not give me the answers I was looking for.

Especially after realizing the message of the books on history of our last century which promoted development, evolution, liberalism, democracy and human rights meanwhile the deliberate, pre-meditated environmental exploitation and human slavery combined with destruction and genocide has never stopped until this day.

At university my partner studied psychology and had some new perspectives suggested me to consider looking into myself to find what I was looking for. That was the idea of re-birthing myself and letting go my past and become someone who is living freely and that fascinated me.
Later on as in that book suggested, I was introduced to psychedelic drugs, that gave me a push to investigate existence with a fresh perspective when I was unable to define and yet experiencing myself and the reality here with no ability to grasp by any definition or knowledge and that was a literally mind-blowing experience what forced me to find real answers and be able to stabilize myself within this no-mind experience in the year of 2002.
I was walking quite some years within several kind of methodologies, belief systems, techniques, practices and symbolism especially psychedelic/shamanic/trance and spiritual/eastern/zen/tibetan buddhist mind-techniques; however around 2007 I ended up facing the fact that my life did not work:

I was unable to work effectively, remain here as clear, confident and calm because I was always busy within my mind and reacting to things based on all of the knowledge and information what I've walked through and I had experiences with and defined myself as: ruined family, failed relationships, tons of extreme experiences what most people would define insane however I was always pushing my limits, I was always frustrated with my own limitations what made me more and more radical in terms of considering point of views and starting points.

Especially I was fascinated with the delusion of enlightenment and consciousness expansion what within I've taken refugee in my mind while disregarding the physical but always until the point of falling and hitting the rock bottom and losing everything I had. Even faced death some times and always started my life again from scratches time to time meanwhile I've became more and more unsure and confused, angry to myself and suppressive with my emotions while remaining positive and hopeful and trying to find something or somebody to tell me what to do and how to do it and everything seemed to just compound and that was kind of too much sometimes...

After returning from Asia, where I've seen my proof for gurus and masters(con men) are normal guys just like anybody else(if you think different: try to live with them and see with your own eyes: practical solutions for changing this planet to a better place for all: they cannot provide, only with justifications). For the first time I had internet at home and I was busy searching for anything unusual and mind-blowing 'TRUTH' when I've found a Desteni Interview with Sunette on the topic of the Principle of Equality and Oneness and the Practical Self-realization as Change and Stopping with Applying of Self-forgiveness, what bugged my mind for ever and I kept watching Desteni videos and read Desteni articles more and more and at one point when listened a video on the Mind Consciousness System this very sentence hit me like a meteor:

Each and every single human being is equally responsible for the current manifestation of earth.

I always seen the world as not really a nice place especially coming from poor family and seen poverty in Asia and Africa: that was shocking for me. There is no justification with I could 'return' to my 'ordinary' life and seek after self-interest and entertainment meanwhile knowing that for some reason: this same system is giving hell for many while others are occupied within positive feelings.
Within watching the History of Mankind, the Design of and the System Demon interviews everything I knew made sense in my life for the first time and I could really stop this addiction for information and knowledge about what happened because studying the history and system, existence, mind designs shared by Desteni I was able to comprehend what is going on in terms of who I am and what I must walk to experience who I really am without the noise of the mind, what I had extensive amount of 'research' and 'investigation' with already through the techniques, substances I did but for the first time I was able to understand why I am experiencing things and started to make sense to walk my mind backwards to stop each participation one by one with the Process of Self-forgiveness.

I've started my own Process by making the Stand that I must change by myself because otherwise I will end up dead before realizing what is really going on here and one thing I was sure about: when is 'peace' within me and most of the time I was not so peaceful and the process starts with stopping conflict within by understanding and knowing myself to be able to prevent myself going into the conflict zone of the mind to explore what is here beyond the mind as reality.

As suggested for Walking Self-forgiveness publicly, I've started this blog in 2008, http://talamon.blogspot.com to make visible for anyone what I am doing and dealing with and realizing and letting go. Meanwhile I've started to do VLOGS as Talamoon@Youtube first and then starting an other channel with my birth name: Jozsef Berta to make sure I do not hide behind fake name and take responsibility for what I stand. Also I am sharing Self-supportive Tweets here since a while.
Obviously I am promoting myself and my writings, videos(which I never could imagine doing so before) because I am aware of that it is Self-support for those who can hear and it is also a reference point to make sure that I live what I share here and take responsibility for myself and what I represent because within this process, credibility and trust must be earned through consistency of Principled Living which can be manifested through walking and sharing 7 years of Journey to Life Blogging/Vlogging.

This kind of starting point, tools, 'lifestyle' is not yet common but eventually will be - therefore I am One individual among many who walk similar Process. Because within the current system the things promoted as 'self-realization' and 'spiritualism' is not really the solution.

Because regardless how much I've pushed the spiritual or psychedelic practices, my foundation was not stable as was of opinions, perceptions, assumptions and hopes, beliefs driven by fear and inferiority and all of those 'methods' only worked until I used those and in the minute I've stopped doing the 'mantra' or 'meditation' or the 'effect of the drug' went off I was again within conflict and compounding frustration about not being powerful enough to change my reality. And also I've noticed that the spiritual practice gave me refugee from my and the world's shit only for the time I was doing it - I've stopped the compassion mantra meditation after 3 hours and walking on the street, slowly but surely every judgment came back what I always wanted to fight, battle, win which obviously did not really work for long term.

And by studying the Desteni Material there was a moment when I've realized the Self-dishonesty within my starting point and I was able to acknowledge to myself that I've been lying to myself all the while and that's why I always determined my life to fall by wanting to destroy my creation in the hope of building up a better one but within unconscious/subconscious personality manifestation as self-automation I always ended up re-creating and being the same scared guy.

I am able to re-align myself with and as the Principle of All as One as Equal as Life within Oneness and Equality and from that moment if I motivate/direct/push/express myself within Self-honesty - I was/am able to see that with this starting point: all what I participated within in the name of Self-realization was the total opposite: Self-limitation, Self-delusion, Self-dishonesty, fear; therefore the common sense is to stop those and stop reacting myself to inner dialogues/feelings/energies because all spiritualism is of and as the mind.

All drugs effect the mind. The Light is of the mind. Love is of fear and the only Real is what is here within and as this Phyiscal existence which is very much aware, much more how the human mind can even comprehend. The only way to explore Life is through Practical Equality within what we are all equally aware of our responsibility and starting point within and as Creation. Yet this does not mean I do not have humor and fun and actually enjoy myself and others - but facing what is here as ourselves already is sometimes tough, painful and that can not be avoided either.

So I've made the Decision to Stop The Mind as I was always looking the best practical way for that to stop the thoughts, feelings, emotions within all of those activities/passivities - however with the Desteni way I've found common sensical, measurable, mathematically understandable, cross-referenceable Practical Awareness as becoming the Living Word literally:

Within the starting point of Self-honesty I am writing Self-forgiveness, what I realize as not who I really am or what I do not want to remain like that because it is not supporting me and others  as I've realized that point is dishonest, nasty, selfish etc.
I write it down because thoughts come and go, I will not remember what I thought 2 days ago exactly after six thirty before sitting there with somebody. But if I write it down - I am directing myself to slow down and word by word I express myself and I experience and direct myself writing the words, I stop, I am empty and am able to see the words I 'contain' and that remains here.

That I forgive: I give for myself a new opportunity to stop and change within that particular point within and as myself and see what is beyond meanwhile being here as undefined, empty, clear, 'dark within'(infinity), yet aware, present and directive and expressive. Sounds like poetry however it is very possible.

For instance stealing from people or smiling to someone while thinking evil about the person or even the act of thinking on something I worry about can be traced back point by point and layer by layer of Self-defined excuses and justifications of why I am accepting myself to automatically react and limit myself based on Fear and Self-interest to not be fully present in each moment equally, constantly within Responsibility.

That I write down and I put everything from my mind in front of me, to paper, to screen as words and I am honest with myself - and I investigate and cross-reference everything and I realize what part of me is dishonest and that I forgive unconditionally and by writing, saying aloud, as I want to change - I am change, I am what I want, direct and express: what I write, what I say and what I do - equalization and unification as the Living Word here on Earth without the mind.
Sounding the Self-forgiveness: I am becoming aware of the patterns what directs me by my own permission and I take back the direction from reactions in mind to direction as Self here.
If I say the word - I experience am I clear, am I direct, am I determined and is here something coming up as reaction? I stop that too and I consider what is the best for me and others and I re-align the meaning of words, I re-define my relationship with myself and my reality through and as words.

This is the most practical way to stop the noise of the mind as we entail and consist of and operate through and as: words - therefore I investigate the words I contain, I open up the relationships I accept within and I dare myself to stop the automatic self-definitions one by one until I am empty within and I can be here, I can use the words without the noise, I can be the words as expression directly.

I was always looking for a truth, a real, life-changing, cross-reference-able, universal, obviously empowering, real truth. That I've found with the assistance and support with Desteni. Before that - I was looking for truth everywhere, I've did so many things but never found it really - because I've looked everywhere else but here as myself.

I am my own creation and any separation and limitation I face - is myself as the reality within which I exist can not be separated from me - only to perceive so - and as I let go the inner 'perceived' self - I can embrace more and more the outer reality as myself, being in this world but not of this world yet direct what is Here as Unification as I am with no separation in and out. Fascinating stuff.

That I am always equal and one with what is here as myself and any separation is of this paranoise as Mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions as I've manifested myself separated from my real physical body within perception which through I filter out what is real based on my self-interest to avoid facing the reason of my fear of loss of realizing the fact that what is my starting point is not real therefore the common sense is to let go in each moment all definitions, reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions.
This single sentence can make sense if one dares to consider what it means.

This is still simply the application of practical Self-forgiveness: before the reaction I participate within - I am already aware of the self-automation and I make the decision to not go into the same pattern what I've walked many times and I acknowledged to myself that always leads to the same point wherein I will not be satisfied as myself but facing limitation and frustration so I do not even go into patterns in the first place.

I've got quite amount of support and assistance at Desteni forum and chats and within Desteni I Process course what with I was able to release the not really practical and ground to earth spiritual definition systems and I was able to start trusting myself here and explore what is NOT Self-honesty and what I must understand, decompose, stop and let go entirely.

Since 6 years I was and still I am busy with Desteni. The reason is that because the Destonian way, as we like to refer ourselves is in fact a Principle, a starting point what within one can align with and stand and live.

The destonian way is simple to understand:

-Investigate all things and keep which is good
-Give as you would like to receive
-Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself
-Basic principle is Equality and Oneness as All as Equal as One as Life

The Desteni group has done an extensive amount of research in many areas of our existence from which lots of thousands of publications are available online, started with it's source at http://desteni.org.

Here I stand as a direct witness and testimony that after 6 years of participation I share that I stand with full of my credibility that Desteni is what is stating, constantly, consistently since it's emergence and everything it is standing for is valid and should be taken seriously as the most practical and positive message what Earth has ever seen.

Desteni has been always in the latest research of the human mind, existence, practicality, especially with the Interdimensional Portal - completely new ideas came to surface what the group has applied and the result is already outstanding from which I pick up some what I've personally find extremely important each human to consider as solution:

Desteni I Process: An education based on all the Desteni research of how to decompose and re-align our starting point from the thoughts/feelings/emotions/memories/personalities of the Mind to actual, direct, Physical Living, to become a man, who is capable for taking responsibility for all as one as equal.

Equal Money System:
To manifest a human system within what Life has the most important value, within what the basic necessities for a healthy, nurturing, enjoyable Life is granted to ALL humans equally, wherein the money is here for to ensure that everyone is equally supported by mathematical perfection to have food, shelter, real education, health care
Equal Life Foundation: A non-profit organization what has only one goal to consider all life equally within the principle of What is Best for all

Basic Income Guaranteed: A practical way towards the Equal Money System within this, current capitalistic system wherein each citizen has guaranteed with a certain amount of Income with what can ensure that no one is left behind as currently is within the capitalism by greed and fear and in the casino system wherein the winner takes all meanwhile the others are losing.

EQAFE: A Self-perfection Portal-interview merchandise what is for supporting the Equal Life Foundation financially meanwhile establishing the foundation of an education system to ensure the future of humankind by sharing relevant and practical and real information about many aspects of existence such as after death research, history of universe, Parenting, How the Mind works, Animal awareness and many-many more series are being busy recorded and shared every day within consistency through the Portal.

These researches are can be referred as the most cutting edge and finest explorations what human has ever made and I am sure that governments, corporations and universities are good in science but Desteni is way more 'advanced' and profound than anything I've ever witnessed in terms of considering what a human being is capable of in terms of practical understanding of the Universe.

Desteni message entails that the currently manifested human existence is part of an long-term enslavement by our own manifested self-dishonesty from which we can not escape anymore but facing here on earth and this has been physically manifested into and as a Consciousness System wherein Life does not exists yet, but can be born from and as the Physical as in fact Substance is aware and we can stop the ParaNoise of the Mind to align ourselves with Life principles what can embrace and practically manifest 'What is Best for All' - within that realization we stand as Unification and that will be Real Life.

There is an extensive amount of publications made on the topic of how the actual Mind Consciousness System has been manifested, operating and how practically can be decomposed, understood and practically stopped through the tools promoted by Desteni as Writing, sharing, Self-forgiveness, Self-honesty, Self-intimacy, Self-correction and Self-commitment what can be a basic, default foundation to stabilize ourselves as Principled Living to walk the Desteni I Process to really transform ourselves from Self-interest to Interest of all(including Self).

In 2010 I've had the opportunity to visit Desteni Farm wherein the center of the group is working daily based on the principles mentioned here and I was living with them for a month and I was observing how the Portal and the Message is constant and consistent, immediate and no interviews are scripted or prepared but always direct meanwhile it is like normal, human act with no superstition and attachment.
I witnessed to something I've never imagined possible to actually see the effectiveness and consistency and it's result of many years of Walking Self-forgiveness within Self-honesty by those who started the process decades ago and I've dedicated myself and my lifetime for walking this process based on the realization that it is not fake, it is not scam, it is not trick, the Portal and the Message and the Process and the effectiveness of Desteni I Process is REAL, walkable and in fact inevitable for all.

I've got direct assistance and support personally for what I should be aware of and how to practically stop the mind and what are the points I should start with and what difficulties I will face and I am still walking the understanding and realization of many-many discussions and sessions made with the Portal directly, person to person, face to face alone, what seemed normally, with no extra effort, just like talking with a friend. It has been recorded, as mostly all Portal activity has, and many of the information has been cross-referenced and actually tested before being shared and there is still an extensive amount of Desteni Education what has not yet been shared due to the limited resources the group currently has.

Desteni group is not receiving any money or income from any government, corporate, religious or political interest and the message is clear from any hidden agendas and only being supported by those who realize the value within this new wave of education and mostly the individuals who are walking the Desteni I Process and realize the importance of the message, the destonian way and tools.

My support and trust for Desteni message, the group, the tools and it's starting point is beyond any measure and will remain so until I am breathing, that is certain with no doubt and I take full responsibility for what I express in my life especially when stating about Desteni and this is who I am and this is where I stand in existence wherever I am unconditionally.

I've done my own research and investigation with Desteni by myself alone, without any financial gain or support but by living only with the money I earned from my own job at companies in the system and I see myself as responsible not only for myself but for my reality as my family, friends, country and the planet and existence itself with no exclusion and that is my compass within the interest of all and relying on only one thing what I really trust is my own Self-honesty which is absolute here or not existing and I am aware of that this is a process to stabilize and remain consistent to become effective to embrace the current systems of humanity and have directive principle to change it as myself as equal as one to what is best for all in all ways possible.

Within my process I see that there is still much to walk through as self-delusions such as relationship-related paranoia and energy addictions towards specific mind-states what I walk through currently with the Desteni I Process Agreement Course what is invaluable within supporting and assisting me to become effective and successful in all aspects of my life, starting with the relationship with myself, with a partner and with my reality as well.

I am still not seeing myself consistent and stable as much I want to be and currently the points I am working is to become more practical to be able to support the group with my activities and research and teamwork as well. However I must state that to compare myself who I was before Desteni and who I am here today - is completely(even who knew me before Desteni) obvious that I've became more stable, strong, calm, active and directive than I was and I am able to let go and stop the noise of the mind much faster and becoming more and more relaxed while being active.

The experiences what I was after within psychedelic drugs(stopped) and meditation(stopped) in these days I can say were quite intense but to experience the same peace with myself and remain here, empty and embracing others is much more real and in fact myself than I experienced with drugs or meditation.
I was always looking for 'methods' what with I can stand up as myself to remain always the same, consistent, expressive and clear within and through walking Desteni it is becoming reality with more and more clarity.

What I am grateful for and already satisfied with is that I've stopped the seek, the search for myself, for purpose, because it is here as myself, as who I am as Life as responsible for everything I am aware of.

I've stopped to seek for a group within I could trust because I do not trust in the group as something 'out there' but I trust within the Principle what the group represents when I am walking it as myself.
The only thing currently stops me to be more and more effective and responsible in the group is my own personality what I've formed as I walk alone, I perceived that I can not trust anyone other than self however I am realizing, even within this very sentence that within the Desteni group I recognize myself within others as Principle as Equals.

So that is for now, I am open for any common sense-based, intelligent, reasonable communication with anyone but understand that the Desteni group has been faced so many haters, anonymous attackers, internet trolls and cognitive disinformation attackers that we do not deal with bullshit anymore.
The material is out there, there are forums for pick up the pace if one decides so, but I will not explain things what can be found with some keyword searches - there are specific Desteni courses for Self-education - For 'starters' Desteni I Process LITE is free and gives the basics of the Process of how to start and we focus on practical solutions and we(I as well) do not take on any debate from individuals who has not shared their research, work; are not visible and obviously not clear who they really are.

As I've mentioned that I've walked some poverty and I've realized that I can not turn back knowing that actually many people are really suffering meanwhile some are living in an utopia bought by money so I've found my purpose to manifest Human Rights for Real Living for everyone unconditionally and the most practical way I've found is being walked by Desteni therefore I stand with it. Check out Equal Life Foundation!

By walking with Desteni I understand that the Solution must come from within as the realization that no bloodshed can be justified within changing the current system and the most practical way is to change the system as ourselves through Law, Politics, therefore I am One Vote for World Equality and for an Equal Money System and that is the only political view I am giving my vote to through supporting the preparation, creation and manifestation of an Equal Life Party what within Individuals have Directive Power who has proven to stand since long and consistent years through sharing their 7 Years of Journey to Life Blogs within what is visible that they prove that this is who they really are and how are Living and Sharing day by day according to the Principle of 'What is Best for all'.

So again - I stand as a witness testimony for Desteni as what it is and it is clearly not scam or a pyramid scene or cult either - and I am sure that you do not know anything about it until you did not walk through at least one Desteni Course with absolute Commitment within the starting point of Self-honesty. In the beginning I did not believe in stuff especially Portal and CrossOver and Dimensional interviews but after all when I was able to use COMMON SENSE - I had to realize that the message, the words they say is the proof itself that it is profound, simple, relevant and assisting.

When I visited the farm and witnessed how it is working DIRECTLY - I had to let go all doubt which was fear of really considering to stop my fucking around and take responsibility for who I am and use the opportunity that I am well, educated, healthy and can actually make a difference and assist and support others for a literally better world, rather than being lost in entertainment and self-interest.

If you do not believe in me saying the Portal, the message, the tools, the destonians, the effectiveness of Process and the movement and CHANGE is REAL: investigate with objective research and find out yourself what is really real.

Desteni will blow your mind and challenge everything you knew, even about yourself and I'd suggest it's worth it - especially if you are troubled within your life - Desteni can give some perspective on practicality however your perceptions and EGO will be challenged but if I can give one advice: Be honest with yourself and see where you require assistance to cross-reference the bullshit of the mind to stop.

I will continue sharing on Desteni (meanwhile you can check out the links I've provided throughout this document: each one is picked and linked selectively).

Thank you very much:
Jozsef Berta, 2013, July 24

[JTL Day 11] Coming down to Earth from ACID-tripping away

Check out the Journey to Life blogs:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

Join the Journey to Life group if you are ready to walk the mind to be equal and one with to have a chance to direct self according to what is best for all.

AND WALK DESTENI I PROCESS LITE COURSE FOR FREE:
http://lite.desteniiprocess.com
 
Okay, a self-responsibility point. Some psychedelic drug stories.
Some might disagree, some don't. It doesn't matter. I write out, I let go, I remain undefined.
If you have different view, please share!
Here is one interview from 'beyond the grave'
So.
It's about ACID. This singular word within me can bring up a whole network-halo interconnected with several branches, and the first branch of it I walk here of why I did the TRIPS within my mind.
I stopped using it since some years, before I started Desteni process, my last trip was in Thailand, with a French and a Japanese guy at an awesome psychedelic trance party and then I've realized it is obvious now that I am not supporting myself with it - maybe the first couple ones were cool to explode some shit to the surface of myself but after then it was of and as self-definition, so better to walk this path as it is coming up here.
I do not have to hunt after Self-dishonesties within and as me - I am walking and when the shit comes, I walk through or it will loop and intensify - and the subject I am referring to is obviously myself.
Any separation within me defined by myself as mind about my mind can not be valid, as any reason and justification I experience within my internal feedback system through thoughts, feelings and emotions is always a mirror of myself saying hello from my past when I've made the consequence with a specific acceptance and allowance of a conditional act of self-dishonesty.
So also I am walking through the judgments I have with LSD.
And I must pronounce I do not say LSD is BAD - but it is not GOOD either. It just is. Of this world. But the experience with the stuff is rather 'far' from any 'liberation' - it tweaks the mind, but all human's mind is using the physical body to get energy from - that is just a note for consideration. I see also that my body is not first class commando-capable in any moment now and I am not that old - I lived many years reckless and just run around not seeing far more than a meter and that was a process but seeing more far here I start to consider my body as equal as one as myself, no separation, no definition. Because any relationship I form within and as my mind - I am defined, limited, even when not realizing that.
So I have quite some vocabulary and word-relationship within my mind - regarding to drugs and I was unaware of that if I do not walk this trough, I am being influenced by people who might do 'stuff' - and it can even occur that I am not even aware of this influence. It is how I've emerged from childhood, I have tendency to be influenced by other humans -  especially with those who I've defined as likeness or goodness - defined but long time ago. So I walk the writing and put the words within and as me in front of me on the screen and seeing these words equal and one as who I am in this moment - I can walk through these self-accepted definition relationships within my mind what is being accessed, energized each time for instance I hear specific words, I am sure you also have some words what you not really like to hear or say or there are some what you like to hear or say because of the self-accepted perceived relationship you are responsible for maintaining and it is common sense to stop. So walking through these words I can walk trough reactions and layers of automatized self-acceptance regarding to things and defining the whole rule-set within the fuzzy-logic energetic mind through thoughts, feelings and emotions as they form relationships within ourselves with ourselves and the physical reality and others around us.
But to have a self-willed directive power here within the consideration of what is best for all is not possible until our relationship towards and within everything is not equal and one with ourselves, because then there is separation, there is definition, control, reaction.
So the key is to realize with words is how I am standing within relationship regarding to these words and not within and equal and one relationship, but of and as perceived separations by the words, what I walk here to be able to forgive and correct and re-align myself:

Wondering about who I am currently as some people even said to me that I could not become who I am without acid, and of course, but it was a phase in my life, I do not judge, I've had my moments, I've even enjoyed myself but not much people can really be aware of the physical consequences within and as our human physical body by these substances in long term and myself personally and you can send me feedback about how you see this that also there was a Desteni Portal interview about ACID(do you have the link for this one specific interview?;) how it was intensifying the mind by seeping of physical-life-substance-energy to transfer it to fuel the mind - and fascinatingly enough the mind was overcharged so many times with the stuff that at some points I even came close to really stop my mind for ever - but what I did not realize that currently I am not aware of how the mind is imbued and ingrained within and as the physical and without the mind operating so many functions within and as my human body, that without it I could simply just collapse.
Because that we, humans all became, energetic entities and without mind-energy we do not really move.
I even can experience that when I wake up I experience a some sort of dream-thought-waving experience within I am fueling up my mind and then me, become conscious and then waking up and then sitting, standing up.
So this is an other topic, but it is really the question of Self-honesty how fast one can walk through releasing all the self-delusions and really change within the consideration of what is best for all.

And MANY I had contact from this part of my life seems to still define themselves through drugs,  but for me it was never the issue. I always knew that as long I do the drugs, I can not be constant and consistent here - because it crawls up on me and it hits and then I flow and then it's depleting and then it's gone - and by these states I am influenced, directed - and by the influence I change perception and how and why I change perception was always the question, and wanting to 'realize' for ever more to not needing to take stuff anymore.
For me is the truth, the real truth of me and the reality with never changing undeniable eternal facts I was always 'looking for' - - for long years outside of me and I was looking this truth everywhere else but Here where and who I am in this moment.
So it is common sense to stop the seek and working on myself to be able to become comfortable with me and stop the conflicts within me what makes me change all the time but not as I want but as it happens.
So for me to let go the ACID was never a question, I did it until I was able to persuade myself that it is really supporting me but when the last trip happened, it was clear that it is just an energy blast within my mind what my body will take, what is the only real of me currently. So this body better write and write instead of think and react, or if I still think and react, then I write that down and walking the Self-forgiveness and Self-correction to really stop reacting to thoughts and stopping the thoughts by slowing myself down to be able to stop the thoughts before they 'occur'.

Also within this human law system these stuffs are mostly prohibited and absolutely illegal so if you are coming from that point of view, this is just a novel what I've made up to have fun and have an 'example' of walking through perceived self-definitions what limit me without me being aware of it.

For instance in the country I am being, even there are steps within law that somehow censoring personal blogs if it would intimidate the current government establishment, and that is quite bold because these guys can decide what it really means, what is so ridiculous that I am not writing about that any more words here.

So, acid, the "fire of St Anthony"

I was quite physically irritated from the very being I’ve became by consistently battling several conflicts within and as me throughout my previous years by the delusional realms of thoughts, feelings and emotions – and with ACID and similar drugs I was able to 'engineer' a kind of blank state, a fluid yet solid; some sort of empty mind experience what (according to my perception in that time) I was unable to attain without re-creating these virtual-death experiences within my mind through inducing energetic warfare by taking these substances.

And the goal was to be able to just look at something without having these judgments and reactions, apparently 'automatically', just me seeing an object in 3D with a fucking quiet mind, like no past, no future, not even 'now' but a presence what reach REALITY; what does not seem anybody around me was able to do, even the 'masters' seemed to be just like ordinary humans in terms of reacting to thoughts, feelings and emotions.
(In that time it was not clear like that, it was more on a resonant level, by that time I've referred to this as some sort of animal instinct)

So within the LSD trip I have my moments indeed, but I was never absolutely satisfied when I started to 'come back' to who I was from the experience of perceptional 'frequency change' within my mind.
Interestingly enough, I've uploaded quite some amount of VLOGS about these some years ago to my first youtube channel, talamoon, so if you are curious, here are some:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4s6CnTQ2n0&list=PLDD5657342E90A9DE

But after the trip was over,(whohoho, when the trip is over?), I mean when the judgment came within and as me as self accepting thoughts without questioning about 'okay, this is the point from now on the trip is 'officially' over. From now on I am 'back as who I was as myself' again.

And then I've tried to convince myself that 'the trip never ends' yet I was again facing my suppression as the default starting point towards everything what I did not enjoy within and as myself and the reality around me.

For instance for a while I was tripping weekly because after some days the inner reality of me was again re-forming, re-integrating into my action - so then I had the perception that I have to 'clear the board again and start over' - so then I was working on intensifying the trips so that when it flips, 'I' would never come back, as all hippie's dream is about: never ending trip - because within that state - I was able to just be quiet - because of the high dose of LSD or psylocibin(mushroom) or very rarely combined with MDMA(Ectasy) - and that 'extra' energy I did not realize back then that it was taking from my physical body, my tissues - but by that energy - I was able to just unify and liquify all of my mind and remain quiet inside.

So then I was intensifying the trips in order to maximalize the 'profit': the time being experienced within a quiet mind. Trance party

Some who at parties take these stuffs for 'just party' might smile on all the reasons for I've taken these stuffs and apparently having party but the starting point for me was always because of this 'shut fuck up, mind!' perception was - since from a moment it was never a choice to become this investigator of mind and reality and everyone seemed to be quite comfortable or not comfortable around me about the roles what they take in their life so to speak, but I never could really settle down - from family what I learned is that we are demons in hell, from movies I've learned without ego any money I remain powerless slave of surviving, from school I've learned if I can absorb faster and more knowledge and information than others, I am better, from love and relationships I've experienced also some sort of obsession and fear, with alcohol my family given enough example that it is straight goes to hell with it for long term, in that time I was really introverted and only I could really be comfortable with machines, computers and animals and alone and very-very some people - so I did not really see many choices, but to investigate and try out different living-styles because from where I emerged, it was a clear example that anything but this, and it was not 'bad', they 'loved' me, still my mother would give up her anything if it would require, do not misunderstand this, but she also got the fear and teach fear what is not required. Okay, I've written quite some about that some years ago here already, so I REALLY wanted change, especially after years of tripping with white light experiences, I've perfected my tripping techniques what I trusted that I do that and I will change.

I could fill a book just with those techniques but fortunately I've found a much-much more practical solution with Desteni for the same reason but I had to change my starting point and restart living from scratches within and as the principle of Equality and Oneness as Self as Life as the Physical. Try it to apply it within common sense and see it for yourself - but you are always equal and one with and as what you are within/ what you are experiencing, what you suffer from, what you deny or fight, everything is always, constantly SELF.

Self-forgiveness and Self-correction is here:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that with any chemical substance what induce perceptional and energetic shifts within me will help me to be a better person.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the energetic temptation of hope in any way whatsoever and not realizing the consequence of it as playing a casino with expecting to win regardless of anything but my interest, me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to remain like I am currently regarding to my self-accepted and allowed relationships towards the points I feel I am existing within conflict.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worship energy within and as my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from remaining within the perception of separation I perceive myself to exist within and as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself that I do not what I should do and wanting others to tell me what to do and who I am because I do not know who I am and wanting to trust writings, scriptures, substances, others because wanting to polarize-back my energetic valuesystem of experiencing myself as not trusting me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not being aware of my human physical body wherein and as I exist and consist of as my self-responsibility within and as physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/define/believe/hope that my responsibility ends with my border of my human physical body, meaning only my body I am responsible for and not realizing the context I am within and as equal as one as this reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to thinking.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that with thinking actually I am thinking as myself fully here within presence and not realizing that when I think and I react to my thoughts, I am absolutely not here with and as all what is here but within self-separated self-secluded self-defined self-internal-feedback system what is of and as thoughts, emotions, feelings what is the resonant result of my constant and consistent Self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within wanting to being told what is the truth, my truth, actually I am disempowering my Self-honesty and Self-intimacy here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my first LSD experience as this is what I have to do but more in order to experience myself in an apparently more free view.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that using LSD for stopping my thoughts and feelings and emotions is always conditional and limited and will not last.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to boost my mind in order to be able to use it to transcend it as a separate entity within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not being aware of the physical consequences of LSD within and as my human physical body as seeping off the life force to fuel mind consciousness system to have an apparently 'more real' experience and not realizing that within the starting point I was already compromised because I've defined myself according to two separate circumstances as 'tripping' and 'not tripping'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within the word 'tripping' meanwhile apparently weakening my human physical body here experience I was always aware of that by 'tripping away' I was abdicating my self-responsibility here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge acid as good or bad instead of realizing that what I project to it it is of and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project and totemize the acid instead of realizing that everything I've defined within and as me according to the word acid and LSD - is only of and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that with LSD I will be able to realize myself in a way that within a trip I will be flipped over and not coming back and not realizing that I was already 'was aware of' what I was doing in terms of finding words for what I did as 'wanting to go away from here' and 'not wanting to come back to who I've became and who I've defined myself to be' because I've defined myself as screwed up and I could not change myself and I wanted to start it over, with a blank new start, with a clear sheet by becoming 'tripping' constantly.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I was tripping and having these experiences - after the experience was gone, I've defined these experiences according to who I've defined myself to be before/meanwhile/and after taking the acid.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the common sense within writing everything down how and why and what exactly I experiece but wanting to be able to disregard anything of and as me regardless of any physical consequence.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within and as my mind as consciousness system, I was always, constantly and consistently dependent on the human physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard my human physical body because I've defined it as a separate entity from me as I've defined myself as consciousness and within that definition I was unable to have any personal power to change who I was because all I did was disregarding my physical reality, started with disregarding my own human physical body and wanting to constantly take refuge only within experience and not realizing that it will not last and it is always self-dishonesty to not consider reality what I am actually sharing with others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my human physical body as prison and limitation and punishment and obstacle and as a piece of meat what I am bound to for a reason I do not understand.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a one single moment of realization which trough I can immediately be free and not needing to face the consequences of my acts and for what I am and who I am and what I am accepting and allowing within this world to happen and not realizing that within the want and hope I skipped to realize that constancy and consistency is imperative within real physical change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a trip, an experience to change me for ever to end the conflicts within me and not realizing that these conflicts I am reacting to, I am in fact responsible for maintaining them within and as me by a willful participation within thoughts and feelings and emotions because everyone is doing the same, because it is what has been taught to me, because all I've got was this, and my family was also like this, and everybody around me defined themselves according to these inner reactions(thoughts, feelings and emotions).

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within this world even if all human tend to define themselves according to thoughts, feelings, emotions, I still can be constant and consistent and unwavering within my starting point of disregarding my thoughts, feelings and emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as 'shit' because I was unable to stop my mind in one breath and not realizing that stopping me would take time as it was time for becoming who I am currently and within physical reality, the time is the test for what is real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define what I experience because within remaining undefined, I can never have an apparently valid knowledge within myself for to react with another self-definition to have an energetic experience within me to feel myself as I've defined as 'good'.
I forgive myself that I have acceped and allowed myself to desire to end all conflicts within and as me and not realizing that I can stop being CONFin-ed within Self-IN-flict-I-on simply becoming aware of my patterns and how and why I've became as conflict and writing all down to put myself to front of me and seeing it as who I am as words and relationships between words and understanding the decisions I've made in my past which through I've formed myself for who I experience myself to be and making the decision to change even when I do not know what will happen but it is obvious that within Self-honesty I can not accept myself as conflict anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from changing because I have NO knowledge about what will happen when I change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to change and only actually change when compounding the conflict within me and then severing from conflict compounding frustration and when it is too much then moving to change what is unnecessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that if I do weekly acid trips, then I can keep myself clean from my own mind's intoxication until something more or new will happen what will be my interest and not realizing that giving into any quantum-moment to hope I have no chance because hope makes me wonder and not acting and within physical existence only act is real, I can not feed my body with hope, I actually have to eat physical food.

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to investigate the conflicts within me and wanting to end the conflict by understanding and knowing myself but wanting to battle over and dominate my energetic mind-dominion with an apparently more strong energy, the LSD.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that since I've emerged within and as this physical existence I accepted and allowed myself to exist within conflict by seeing all the abuse around me and more far from my senses all around the world being done to others and reacting with a feeling of sadness and apathy and dis-empowerment and fear what I've suppressed as I could not handle.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to help others in terms of while experiencing myself on drugs perceiving others how they are really suffering and my sufferings seemed very minor according to how I've seen others in real physical pain and misery.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because I could not really take the impact of how I perceived the world and others as really being in hell but themselves might not even realize how much they suffer because of the constant occupation within and as their mind and seeing this I was crushed by the fact that I could not do anything as I was not even being aware of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wanting to save others and wanting to help others and not realizing meanwhile I was disregarding myself, and focusing to changing what I really can: myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I've defined to be my responsibility to help others and change the world because apparently I did not see anybody else REALLY doing it yet reacting to this self-made conclusion as -I am in doubt that I can really save the world and not realizing the common sense to save myself from myself first.
I forgive myself that I have never ever considered/realized/seen that by defining my thoughts and the thinking process and the same with feelings and having feelings and emotions as directly myself and trusting these within and as me as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define emotions as avoidable because within emotional states I've became absolutly and totally automatic within reaction what made me experience myself in a way cold regardless of the heat of emotions, because within reactions I was really closed and limited.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge emotions as weakness because within emotions I was unable to control myself because I was defining myself according to constant controling myself because within the fear that if I do not control myself, I could lose myself and then I would do something stupid and irresponsible what I would regret to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have resistances within my manifested physically to write down everything exactly I think, experience, feel, because within writing I am actually assisting and supporting myself to acknowledge the patterns of self-dishonesty, because then I would be more aware of how and why I accept myself as self-dishonesty and within accepting myself to do so I could not stop judging myself as full of shit when seeing directly my responsibility and still not changing in one breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from facing the consequences of writing down everything what I consist of as thoughts, feelings, emotions because then I would have to fear from not changing because who I've became also was not an self-aware decision but of outer conditioning and inner reactions but within self-definition I had an apparent knowledge about how to survive.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to surviving and not realizing that within surviving I consist of fear of death.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within the self-induced perceptional mind-death experiences through psychedelic drugs I wanted to have an experience of death to know what it is and not fearing from it because I've defined really fearful what I do not know.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not knowing myself according to life and death.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within the starting point of fear what I entail of is of reacting to what is not real, what is not here, but of knowledge and information what is not being placed into practical application.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe and define perceived 'mind-death' experiences as cheating within reincarnation, and perceiving myself as like reincarnating after each acid trip because within the trip something always changed and that change I've defined as because of death and even defining it as apparently 'joy' to blow my mind within the perception of some sort of 'attainment'.

Okay we've reached the point of 'enlightenment'. That will be in an other post.

Self corrective statements to re-align my starting point as life as all as equal as one within and as the physical.

When and as I experience myself wanting to just skip an experience within and as me, I realize I have the tendency to react automatically with wanting to energetically 'surge' my mind-state with something what would change my perception, coffee, weed or even green tea, computer game or sexual arousement - and then I realize this patterns I've walked many times and proven to me that it is not fully me, so I stop, I take responsibility for what I am accepting and allowing and committing myself to really deal with the issues what I want to skip, escape from.
When and as I experience any reaction to the word LSD or ACID, I stop, I breathe, I let go everything here, I am aware of all my definitions are self-created lies and traps what to if I react, I will timeloop with the exact same point what I do not wish, so I simply stop, breathe, disengage, I forgive myself specifically and I focus on what I am actually doing before the distraction as inner reaction.
When and as I think that LSD/acid is good, great, I stop, I breathe, and I realize how I experienced myself with my last trip and the extensive tiredness and intensified mind-experience was really physically uncomfortable what was simply facing myself with a velocity of an artillery what I do not want anymore.
When and as I think that LSD/acid is bad, shit, I stop, I breathe, and I realize that judging it as negative is the same as judging it as positive, and if I do not want to take it then I do not take it and that's all.
When and as I would consider taking acid in a mind-state wherein it would be a great idea, I stop, I breathe, I realize I react by thoughts, feelings and emotions what I've created when I was not aware of the physical consequence of having a starting point of mind mind and in fact I've made the decision to not take any more trips because it is not supporting me as Life.
When and as I want to take a trip on mushroom, I realize I've stopped it some years ago because I've made the decision to not induce my mind with trips anymore because first I'd rather become comfortable with and as myself than trying to make chemical warfare within and as my mind, especially having already physical reference of that the real change and real realizations I've made are by Self-honest writing and applying Self-forgiveness so that is my way, regardless of the intensity of the experience what would make me react to starting to want tripping with mushroom.
When and as I having an inner reaction that a woman who I would define as attractive or important or really fascinating would want me to take trip, I stop reacting and I remain here and I am breathing within awareness of I've made the decision and compromising myself because of a desire what is directly sexual desire or linked with a layer of hope of sexual desire - I stop, I become aware of my physical and principled living based on Self-honesty and presence and common sense.
When and as I fear that I might be punished by the system establishment for I had these experiences or I am sharing about these experiences - I stop, I take responsibility and I use common sense based on what is best for me and best for all equally.
When and as I have the inner reaction to recklessly and irresponsibly wanting to endanger my process by playing russian-rulett with the establishment's law enforcement about how they would react if I would tell them how substances I've taken what they would react to as illegal and punishable - I breathe, I let it all go and I am here as presence and using common sense.
When and as I am experiencing fading my presence within and as my human physical body, I realize, my Location is within and as my human physical body and wherever I would go from this, that I stop, and if I can not change within this, I write down and I investigate and I walk through within Self-honesty to make sure that I am aware of that I am Here as my Location and the only thing I can trust is myself as my human physical body as reality.
When and as I do not experience my body, I stop, I breathe here as self, I become aware of my limbs, my fingers, especially on my feet, because from my mind's perspective that is quite far, as almost 2 meters away from my head, and by becoming aware of it, becoming aware of my toes and as I move my toes, I re-align myself here as the physical yet not defining this at all but remain inner silent and push my expression here within self-aware breathing, one by one, slowly, constantly.
When and as I want to speed up my process, I realize I can only speed up become Self-honest and change in one breath by willing myself to change and actually exploring my change, regardless of what will happen next.
When and as I am with others doing psychedelic drugs, I remain here as physical presence and undefined within and expressing myself within breathing and physical acting.

Self-commitment statements to really change:
I commit myself to investigate all experiences and reactions within myself regarding to the word LSD and acid.
I commit myself to share my experiences and realizations according to tripping.
I commit myself to stop wanting to get high because of anything.
I commit myself to disengage and release and delete and remove all associations and inner reactions arising within me regarding to the words LSD and acid to release the past and be always constantly here.
I commit myself to STOP wanting/desiring/acting to become energetically intensified and end all conflict within and as me by force.
I commit myself to be responsible for each act I do.
I commit myself to PREVENT harm by choosing first already what is best for all and within writing and Self-forgiveness actually preparing myself practically LIVING my decision and not using the excuse that "I did not want this but this is how it turned out, I am sorry", what is a deliberate self-dishonesty because I can prepare myself to act according to principle.
I commit myself to stop accepting any conflict within and as me and in one breath daring myself to be absolutely Self-honest and living physically and disregarding the mind as thoughts, emotions, feelings and expressing myself directly and undefined in every moment.

Okay this should be also a series, many points I opened here.
Possible continuation titles from here:

1. Re-aligning self-starting point from drug-minded to and as self physical here
2. Digging about people persuading me
3. Walking through patterns of I persuaded people
4. Walking through persuasion and spiritualism and drugs
5. Psychedelic drug symbolism construct release
6. Self-projection future creation path of enlightenment to hell backtracking

 Thanks for reading, enjoy Breath and Try Self-forgiveness on stuff what you are bothered with within and as you and dare to change according to a Self-willed decision within Self-honesty - on an addiction, a fixation, a compulsion, an obsession, an impossible desire to fulfill or a fear or anything  just write and expand - it's free and the best for you, for me and for all;)