[JTL Day 212] 1. Realising and living my utmost potential

This is part of the Principles list I am committing myself to stand for. By writing what I accept and what not - I am writing my own screenplay so to speak and see who I am within starting point, writing and practical application, what still requires understanding, re-alignment and practical change.

To change oneself until not reaching our utmost potential should not be difficult - yet how the human mind and body has been 'evolved' into who we are today - we certainly can see that to change our personalities, behaviors, perceptions, reactions can be quite difficult and even almost impossible but with the right motivation, self-will and self-supporting tools - anyone can accumulate into real, practical change.

Already the reaction for one when challenged to change can be revealing - and regardless of the current world system how unequal, harsh and profit-oriented, abusive and sad can be - we all are demanding for change but never considering to actually change what is the closest: SELF HERE.
So these principles are guidelines, reflection-points on who I accept myself to be.

I have been facing a relevant point within my life which with/through I've allowed myself to become directed by as I've reacted to it within the starting point of fear.
This relationship I've developed in regarding to the word and it's meaning: PERFECTION has been proven to be in fact limiting within my expression.
Within my last post here I was writing about this concluding it how I've misunderstood 'perfection'.

I've allowed myself to be possessed with the ideas, dreams, imaginations, visions of what it means something to be perfect, in my mind it 'FEELS' intense and clear, however within actual, PRACTICAL APPLICATION, it is not supporting at all, because what happens is that first I react within my mind with emotion, thoughts and then becoming distracted with it's energy and within that rather focusing to the IDEA of perfection instead of what I actually do, so what I do becomes a subject in my mind, separated from my beingness, which then prevents to express and stand as an equal and one relationship with what I do and thus unable to PERFECT my real, physical application.

The subject can be anything - relationship, art, housekeeping, photography, programming - and within it in fact it is myself I constantly end up judging as imperfect which then obviously never can be good enough.

When I was at the Desteni farm in 2010, Bernard and Sunette opened up this point for me quite directly as there were interviews explaining the difference between the Matrix of Perfection and Self-perfection wherein the first is the system, the consciousness, the pre-programmed, automatized, limited expression of Perfection with the starting point of fear in opposition with the principle of Self-perfection, which means that within this limited world system, in this limited human physical body we still can be able to express our utmost potential, which would really mean Self-perfection.

We always perfect something, our body at the gym, our fabrication of tools, creating systems, food, cars etc but never ever considering the possibility to directly perfect ourselves. We don't even know what it would mean, right? What is in fact self anyway?
To know self means to be able to understand and within that to be able to change!

Especially with the infectious agendas of the New Age, which tries to neutralize the importance of SELF by mystifying or virtually identifying the idea of SELF with EGO which then being judged as not real, irrelevant, while within our so called 'culture' praising and idolizing the justification of individualism by defining it as a separation from all what is here, including others.

So what would mean to reach our utmost potential to me is to not be limited by energy, meaning not a single thought, feeling, emotion to imbalance me from direct ability to see/decide/act based on a consistent and direct, equal and one-based relationship with myself, all parts of myself and my surroundings.
This seems like an overwhelmingly difficult task, but only because not have been explored, only by the ideas of the mind, based on one's interest, tainted with self-definitions, judgements, memories, personality rules, characters layered upon within ourselves so profoundly that we can not directly see/understand/realize what we experience and based on that why we do what we do.

Within the polarity of the mind there is always two-edge of everything, positive and negative and within this Perfection is also can be understood as a two-edged sword, wherein one can see imperfection and with practical common sense it can become an asset, a tool, a cross-reference for not remaining stuck within the IDEA of perfection and then the JUDGEMENT of imperfection but to be able to reflect that back into oneself and real, physical, tangible action.

This means to actually letting go the judgement, the reaction of not good enough, to stop the energetic reaction with it, to let go it's starting point, why I react with this 'not cool' experience, emotion, which if I really look it it is FEAR.

It is a fear that if I ended up with this current state/creation/expression/experience and not being satisfied - then what if I'd remain so, what if there would be no time to fix it, to make it better, to become better etc.

This is kind of a point of practical success so to speak - because if it's not good enough, I re-assess, cross-reference, use common sense and apply what I have realized - but if I stop expressing by reacting with frustration, lack of satisfaction - I actually give up which then manifests my starting point what I wanted to avoid based on fear: imperfection.

So first of all to let go the fear of imperfection, fear of not being good enough, fear of failure, fear of not having enough time to finish, fear of being judged as imperfect to re-align myself to stand and express without fear.

The idea of perfection then also not practical - has been proven already - especially with the fact that how I've defined and created myself around it was based on fear, thus in reality - can not be trusted and labeled as PERFECTION.

Regardless of any holding onto any ideas as oneself has been formed relationship with to be defined - all must let go to stand naked so to speak within oneself and that is actually requires for Self-trust - without definitions to stand, without conditions to express, without judgements to trust: self here.

It's always on practicality - nothing mystical - for instance if I face instability - what makes me stable - at least what with I define and condition my perceived stability and how I compromise it - and within that how I focus on reaction and worry and prevention of instability, instead of accumulating actual stability. Which might start on decomposing, writing down, forgiving and stopping reasons and definitions, judgements and reactions on what makes me unstable.

The mind is a very serious thing and within it one can entirely self-define based on non-facts, for instance if I want to avoid conflict and ensuring to avoid those all the time, because my stability is depending on it - then from a moment of decision to practical solution - it's maybe not to avoid conflict but to prevent to create in the first place. And then realizing external conflict is caused by internal conflict and then to stop that - to stop inner friction and develop absolute self-trust, self-honesty, self-direction - this is practical self-perfection which supports oneself to be able to realize and express our utmost potential.

And we can never know what is in fact our potential until we have investigated, pushed and practically transcended all the limitations of ourselves, which is not really the body, but first of all the mind - as there is enough a single doubt, a judgement, a tiny excuse for one to stop digging, pushing, stopping, changing.

So within this - to reach my utmost potential is not something I can have reason for why changing myself for it - because I have to change who I am today for reaching my utmost potential, that's already obvious, because I can apply self-reflection on in fact being able to see when I compromise myself from within based on any fear or desire, attachment.

And by living on planet earth - it is common sense to become practical, physical, because that is the most consistent, real we can have to 'work with' on reaching our utmost potential. This means that seeing through and facing from the current human system, the actual environmental, nature, ecosystem too, considering my own human physical body, considering other humans as well, the animals, plants, weather and simply work what is here.
It can be seem quite limited, especially with the greatest fuckup existence could being ended up with, is the consequence of self-separation and limitation based on money - but this is who we are today, this is what for we take responsibility and apply ourselves unconditionally without any separation.

One can give up easily within this manifested consequence we allowed to compromise ourselves with called consciousness wherein energy seems to be more than substance, experience seems more important than facts and the mind seems more relevant than life but this is the self-dishonesty we've defined ourselves equal and one with and there is nothing in this existence what can save us from ourselves so we just learn to move ourselves one by one until all are able to take responsibility not only for oneself but for all existence because that is where reaching our utmost potential can start to be expressed.

Who knows who each of ourselves can actually become and what can do - seeing human history, there were - and are - individuals who can show remarkable performance, achievement or efficiency within wide areas of practical application such as science, art, politics etc but did they reach their utmost potential? I am not sure - and my responsibility starts with my potential to nurture and birth myself as real life, which is unlimited, un-compromised from within, not tainted by fear or doubt, not separated desire or distracted by energetic reactions.

One must realize that being able to stop the influence and control of thoughts, feelings and emotions leads to a more direct and effective, practical and physical self-expression, which absolutely not mean to become a sense-less, materialistic or zombie/robot-like being - as in fact we can become one and equal with words directly - to be the LIVING WORDS - to have a starting point, to speak and to act the same. Then what we perceived before as 'important human emotion, such as anger' is self-dishonesty - and yet - one can still express similar but not based on energy, not by reacting to memory, definitions, fear - but express self as sound - as equal and one.

One can find many books on apparent 'masters' try to explain how to reach an other state of mind wherein we are not limited, it can be referred as 'holy spirit', 'enlightenment', 'zen', 'tao', 'flow', 'shaman' etc but within actually applying these with critical starting point, self-honest investigation - these are not really supporting within direct, actual, practical change. There are tons of explanations, support available at EQAFE, DESTENI sites, I was able to understand and let go these methods, ways, perceptions and it is absolutely clear what is the actual limitation, self-dishonesty within these and I am absolutely not saying I am superior or having judgements about the individuals who are still applying these practices, ways, tools - but if anyone is interested on understanding in extreme, practical details on how the human mind, body is related to existence, what are the most practical tools on using words and physical action in this world - there would be a significant mistake to miss these supports. If one would question the support, I suggest to listen a dozen of the free EQAFE interviews - currently I am listening Kryon series and I am understanding so much about human nature, how energy is programmed in the mind and this can be directly supportive within my life, my actual relationship, work, responsibility points.

Within investigating energy itself one can realize that there is nothing really self within it - only the self-accepted relationship imprinted into the physical beingness by consistent acceptance and allowance of layered pattern of knowledge and information and regardless of what kind of energy we embrace or reject - there is the same mechanism, which exists in separation in relation to it's source, the physical substance.
That's why all religious, spiritual, enlightenment, shamanic and other ways what are available in this human world system apparently for the betterment of self are always relying on one's relationship with energy and trying to distract from the source, which is here, the physical.
Only using and by that abusing the physical for experience which always ends with death - all what goes through is so insignificant that it does not really matter - exactly because there no substantiated matter, fact, real physical beingness.

And one can ask why is that, so many effort has been made to not realize our real power to reach the utmost potential, because if we would really take responsibility for this physical earth - we would be able to realize the priorities, the simple principle of give as you would like to receive to practically realize and manifest what is best for all. That is in a way already a potential we have never realized, expressed: to always act with every single act according to what is best for all. What could be more than that, especially if we have never been able to do so?

So to stand up for what is best for all becomes practical, obvious as one walks the process of genuine self-forgiveness yet it is not easy, because within each moment one have to push, birth oneself beyond the mind, the previously accepted 'home' of our perception of beingness and go, submerge, explore, become equal and one with actual physical substance through and as the human physical body, which means to face all what is accepted and allowed currently within ourselves, within this world to be able to stand and understand and stop and change. And it is not 'groovy' or 'hip' but it is something honorable and the way to reach our utmost potential.

Within this realization it is first to stop be defined, reacted to energetic experiences within, which is through applying Self-forgiveness on becoming aware and take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed and to be able to stop - and stop means not fight, resist, suppress but actually change our very core of beingness and really let go the patterns of self-dishonest relationship with energy, information, which is basically fear of loss, fear of change, fear of fear.

It is so ingrained within ourselves the acceptance of the perception by our thoughts, feelings emotions but with throughout introspective, self-honest, cross-referencing, common sense-based investigation these aspects of ourselves can be proven self-dishonest, indirect, separating expressions in comparison of direct, absolute self-expression - only people, who are extremely specific can even consider the reason on questioning oneself to the utmost - it is so easy to accept any kind of limited answer, solution and protect self-interest with excuses and justifications why one should accept self-limitation, but regardless of the apparent insanity of giving away our own values we defined as self but beyond that there is a gift of real sanity of finding oneself and a purpose of not only about self-perfection but to actually give as would like to receive and that is the best for all period.

So back to practical application - there are words to what I've defined myself reacting to quite intensely according to the programming of my personality which was because by this I've defined the way to reach my utmost potential and in fact these definitions have been proven as not supporting - and not these words are flawed, but as I've separated myself from directly being able to express these words as direct expression without the energy of the mind and never considering the possibility to re-define these words according to supporting me and all others equally within an equal and one relationship.

Perfection, Movement, Trust, Direction, Breath, Physical, Power - I could continue with more words but these are just doors to open to recognize, understand and stop patterns of fear - because why else we would have self-limitation to accept than fear? Who would not want to be fully, absolutely oneself?
Who would refer to self as currently is by accepting and being owned by fear? We can blame parents, government, money, but if we really look at it - it is always starts and ends up with and as SELF. There is support and once we stop reacting with fear, there is common sense, there is practical solution, just to let go energy, the delusion of that we need emotions to rule/ruin our decisions - we can express words directly without emotion, but then we would end up questioning our definitions, our values and we would realize there is self-interest only - and if we compass our living based on that meanwhile compromising all life with neglect, abuse - then we are just as responsible with the actual acceptance and allowance as all others equally.
One must find a way to deal with one's perception to purify, to let go the justification of why it is alright for one BILLION humans to live in extreme poverty while in fact we would never want to have that for ourselves, we would never wish the same from them and in fact we might even would blame for them if they were me while we were in the abused situation on not standing up unconditionally for a dignified living. And it requires engaging current systems, even on economic, political level - what is the reason not to go there? Is it the law limiting me or me limiting myself not to understand, embrace and accumulate action what requires for real change. Education, Media, Politics, living as an example, sharing - these can be practical points - if I do not apply it based on a perception, I am responsible for my perception and the actual consequence too.

So if I sit here, fully clothed, having food, shelter, health care and considering my fullest, utmost potential - it is to give to all what I have at least - and within that I can see - how limited I am, how limited the whole human system, the monetary, law, economic systems are - and I could go into blame and separation of - them and me - and I am just like a little fish - but if we see - there are human individuals within those systems, groups, interests - they are using ways to accumulate direction and power to be able to do what they do and even some thing that they do their best for the betterment of humanity but then also comes the question of what I accept as my limit?
There can be also challenge - to find practical ways to change the system - is that off-limit? What is the perception behind that limit? Why? A newborn child has no limits in her/his mind - just explores - and then learns and studies, experiences and suddenly there is limitation.
So then to decompose what is actual limitation - the physical? The body? It has it's own limits, sure, but how human body has it's physical should determine how we create economic, poverty, war? The 'human nature' can also be an excuse - but the greatest secret to power is that we can change.
Once we accept limits, falls, mistakes as who we are, we are like determined to identify ourselves with what we did, what consequences we manifested, but still - self can change. And to find the decision, the will, the power, the trust in self to change is something what only SELF can GIVE for SELF - by letting go with understanding and taking responsibility.

Within forgiving, letting go, committing to let go all definitions that I've allowed automatically to come up and react to and actually re-defining how to express, apply myself according to the principles of what is best for all I am the LIVING WORDS.

There is no such thing as forgiving others, asking anything or anyone 'for' forgiveness, but it works as I - for - give as would like to receive - same principle within practical application by actually exploring the thought-patterns, the emotions programmed into our mind, body, beingness by and as WORDS.

Any spiritual-new-age or religious agenda pronouncing on universal sounds, syllables, words for self-support does not really support oneself, because if we look within ourselves with real self-honesty, the words can come up what we actually are - the exact specific thinking pattern we have to face, understand, forgive, not just hope within some energetic vibration on universal 'words', like 'OM' - those are false paths for self-realization - those are merely just for self-stimulation, accumulating energetic experiences with one can -maximum- patch oneself for a while to behave one's mind. Here is a discussion on meditation.

I've been working with the mind quite some time and with Desteni I am grasping real, unconditional confidence when facing the mind, because 'practicing' spiritual agendas', playing around with the mind, meditating on ideas and quieting, equalizing my mind is one thing but to actually, absolutely understand and 'own' and direct my mind, there is no other way than the process of Self-forgiveness - I could say that I am sorry, but actually not - anyone resisting self-forgiveness will face oneself anyway - just won't have the right tools, practical experience, accumulated self-awareness, self-direction to really stop self-limitations and I guess it's alright if one accepts so - I can only walk it for myself and the best practical way is to live as an example from energetic Consciousness to Life awareness.

Because Life only can be one and equal with and all - and to miss that opportunity see, live, express it as ourselves, to give what I've given by stopping myself before reaching my utmost potential is certainly not me. Thank you very much.

(The images are just for expression, to direct the flow of all of these words, I find more approachable if there is an image once in a while - and are also my expression - snapshots from where I live)

[JTL Day 206] Tiredness vs Awareness part 6 - practicality

This is the continuation of the mind-tiredness patterns and expanding on impatience:

• [JTL Day 205] Tiredness vs Awareness part 5 - impatience

So I've been 'practicing' the moment of truth with myself so to speak, when at moments I need to wait yet I want to rush forward, currently pronouncing: with computers.

I mention it as moment of truth - in fact all moment is truth - but do we realize it?

When I am facing the point of friction because within my mind I want to rush while not being aligned with reality, kind of reality feels like drags me down, pulls back, or at least I judge it like that in my mind and thus judging it as bad and that creates the friction, energy, charge experience.

I have a cool example: I am using a browser add-on which allows me to set up my Stumbleupon account and be able to 'Like' a page simply with a keyboard shortcut - thus whatever page I find as cool Self-support, simply being able to add it to my Stumbleupon profile's collection.

Sometimes Stumbleupon just marks it as 'Liked' and adds it immediately but sometimes it loads a pop-up for clarifying that the page is safe for work, can be tagged, give a quote and more info about it.

Then a pop-up page appears where this can be set up and it recently changed, thus it does not load almost immediately, but mostly in 2-3 seconds. Also after filling the form when I send it - it also takes 1-3 seconds to send it and I have to wait while if I click away it cancels sending thus I literally have to stop doing anything.

Initially when this change happened and I tried to add a page to my SU. collection, I've had this reaction like 'holy shit, how long I have to wait' - and after that I've wrote my previous blog post.

I mean I was so impatient, that I've felt like losing my life on needing to wait for 2 seconds! Because in my mind I've defined this as a simple gesture when added to a keyboard shortcut, that is why those shortcuts exist, right? I just press and the machine gets it and then I am already 'on' my next moment.

But obviously many things happen meanwhile as it's in sync with my SU profile, checks the site itself, loads the form of extra questions, sends it, sends reply - being a programmer I KNOW that it takes a lot to manage something like this, especially in a multi-million-user system, like Stumbleupon.

So about this I almost started to form a judgement as a point of frustration - and then as writing all of these blog posts - I was able to slow down and stop for a moment and take a breath. It's just that - and the page's loaded.

And then I've realized what I've wrote about previously - it is always one breath to let it all go and be here, just be and remain here.

And we can be always one breath away from HERE, but sometimes to get here it's obviously a process, cannot be forced or just be changed in one moment within behavior, chain-reactions of automated, self-defined judgements we feel as it is who we are, but within walking Process one moment another, in a sense it is Self Here already walking and that is the most profound thing a human can achieve: to change and direct oneself one breath at a time and walk through the self-created mind-limitations unconditionally.

Within this it's to acknowledge that each written word about our mind, our relationship with our mind, behavior, the reactions, the realizations, the points needing to understand more, to see it before going into the same patterns, to stabilize, to slow down, to feel the presence - these all accumulate into a more aware, more present, more responsible human being to be able to direct ourselves to become.

I see that by writing this, I have the opportunity to forge this realization into practical ability to remain here and consistent within effective and present breathing to prevent myself going into reaction and at the same time to be able to intimately see what is the reason I am going into reaction and behind the layers there is always judgement, fear which is not necessary and in fact the opposite of real support for effective solution.

And the tendency within my mind to re-create and evolve existing patterns can still surprise me sometimes for instance when activating the Stumbleupon keyboard shortcut and coming this impatience reaction and within that automatically saying to myself: 'patience mode, breath' - and to realize it is already of a pattern which is in fact not absolute self-honesty, because there is still a reason, a condition, thus not self here is expressing but again: leaning on and hiding behind a condition, a rule, a judgement, separation, pattern and for that there is Self-honesty as a compass to then engage myself more within specifying the understanding for why I still do not remain here unconditionally, what is the reason, the memory, the self-definition that I still rely on more than absolute self-trust.

And for that the Desteni group, study material, the online courses and EQAFE lectures are the key support - to understand my creation and within that grasping the whole existence's creation and thus to be able to effectively walk through the layers of the mind consciousness system, which is indeed vast, but not infinite, difficult, yet the process, as Self is: simplicity.

Thus I specify and continue walking through the layers of the mind - also I still walk the DIP Agreement Course which is really a cornerstone of my self-support currently, thus I really suggest to check it out and dare to walk.

So - with the Stumbleupon point I wanted to give a practical example, which I will continue to walk with Self-forgiveness along with another point which is emerging recently.

When and as I sit in front of a computer I see/realize/understand that I have allowed myself to automatize my behavior, give permission my mind to react to self-defined conditions with positive and negative energy and allowing to accumulate into physical feelings, moods, tension and accepting those and not questioning, stopping and changing myself about those because that leads to inconsistency, impatience, tiredness.

When and as I sit down in front of a computer I stop defining myself and my attitude according to the computer's speed, capacity, responsiveness by realizing that I decide when to react to what within considering what supports me within self-honesty.

When and as I experience that the computer is slow, not responding, the browser, applications are not loading immediately, I breathe, I simply am here and remain undefined - I see/realize/understand that I am capable of deciding what I am going to do with the computer and once I decided it, it does not matter how slow it's going to take - I remain here, breathing, consistent, unwavering meanwhile directing myself and the computer - and if meanwhile it would take that much time what would not be common sense to wait, then I act accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to become aware the point of self-acceptance and self-defeat within that not being able to decide when it is too much time to wait or embrace the computer's/internet's speed while doing something with it but defining rules and conditions to when and what to react and defining the accumulation of these reactions as frustration and when it would come defining it that it is not cool and then defining my relationship with this not-cool-ness to THEN do something about it and focusing to these reactions completely losing perspective and forgetting the fact that in fact I am not directing myself, I am not present, not here and also that I allow these self-defined reactions to tell me when it is too much, when I am being frustrated, when I should do something practical about the fact that it takes too much time to wait for the computer.

This is important - because in fact within self-honest walking with self-forgiveness it is clear that I've decided to accept each and every single reaction to become automatic and thus allow myself to be compromised by actually creating reactions what are not supporting, diverting my attention from the actual solution and becoming unstable, creating friction and making myself tired.

And the solution can be sometimes just accept that 2 seconds to wait when clicking - or when working with videos I face extreme amount of lag sometimes as it does what I do - mostly complex multi-layered hd-animations - and finding more effective, smart, doable workflows without reacting with so much unnecessary frustrations.

Also the solution can be realized also that I would need a better computer, a faster internet, if that's possible and then to consider how to manage that - another whole scenario can open up, for instance financial considerations - to find out how much it would cost to upgrade and if I can have money for that - is there any reactions in my mind on spending the required amount? If there is no enough money, how I could have such amount and what I would require to do and meanwhile be aware of what is the priority here.

I mean to actually do something in this reality it is mostly being able to work with limitations without being limited - which can also be judged as obstacles, something to resist to realize, face, overcome, solve - and also can be seen as challenge, fascination, like what I am going to face and realize about myself meanwhile walking this challenge, for instance within this to prioritize how to upgrade my computer and meanwhile not become frustrated but be able to be effective within it's usage.

Anything can be possible and everything can be compromised in the mind but one thing is certain - if there are reactions automatically, frustration, energies, instability, then we are not the directive principle but accumulation of self-acceptance, self-defeat, self-dishonesty, thus to walk through those also an accumulation is required: of self-direction, self-stability and self-honesty.

I write this meanwhile the computer renders a frame of a 15 seconds of animation in ten seconds, thus for sure it takes time but meanwhile I walk through the conflicts of the mind and remain here, directive, stable.

I will continue with more specific self-correction, self-forgiveness and self-commitment on preventing to react with the mind but instead of remain here, directive and breathing.

[JTL 197] Transcendence - the movie and beyond part 1

Recently I participated within the
Desteni I Process Live Hangout Movie review: Transcendence.

The hangout can be found here.
(The discussion's technical quality makes it quite challenging to walk, however the discussion is really on the topic!)

And some perspective about Transcendence by Bernard Poolman

Somehow for me, this word  relates to the Painting: Gauguin, Paul: Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? - 1897

So, the movie called Transcendence: About reviews, critics - I've read a lot - just for curiosity - many seemed more like hypo-critics - read lot's of dislikes about the movie, many missed more action, which somehow requires for being counted as a 'blockbuster' - and even some reasoned with 'lack of explosions' - just because the director, Wally Pfister was the cinematographer for many M. Bay action movies, they straight expected similarity, from which this one then felt like failed to satisfy. Well, pity for them, I've really enjoyed it, watched twice, I could even imagine it to be a TV series, just to be able to slow down and open up many related points to explain, but this did not happen, it's alright.

This movie reminded me to the old ones, wherein there was no need for 6 packs of physical action in every dozen minutes with desensitized, beautifully composed ultra high definition of violence combined with virtuo-mega-explosion-porn - which this movie deliberaltely lacks to deliver.

It got reviews of being emotionless, numb, a bit sadness-tainted glassy feel throughout the whole movie, but for me somehow clicked immediately, having the scenario, putting myself into the shoes of Caster having all his possibilities and in a split second it's going away - sure there is this stereotype for aggressive killing machine tantrums for extra-tearless-fast-paced-slowmo punishment protagonists when facing certain end, but come on, the word Transcendence already suggests to step beyond our own immature depiction of entertainment and our reflection for what and who we are and where are we going...

In relation to how Dr Caster behaved in the movie with the pattern I had for instance finding out I had cancer - REALITY - it's like unbelievable, far fetched, it's not really feels real first, just like the horror and massive abuse is being shown on TV - so crisp, crystal-clear depiction, it's like a dream, streamed in 24 frames per second inducing a vivid dream state yet we refuse to realize that this is fucking real, many thousands of people just like us are being killed each day for greed, vengeance and hatred - this point of how physical reality, earth is really being is not yet comprehended, not even considered to actually see what it is how and who we exist as and what must be done to open up in order to really transcend our blindness, just to allow reality to be acknowledged, embraced how and what it is in fact who we accepted to became.

Sure movies has characters as humans do but somehow this whole impression in the movie was really what took me, but probably because I could relate with it, writing codes since childhood, learned some Artificial Intelligence at university and this is being combined with my investigation of what is really going on in existence from different angles - and all leads to one single point whether we acknowledge it or not.

I mean when you face the utter inevitability of certain death - you might consider to see yourself, the world in a different way.

For me it was similar with Caster - not that drastic, but I mean, for me 'cancer' is something what one considers in terms of 'life' - even mine was not 'serious', was handled alright, now it's gone, but still, well, from now on every minute is equally important, so I just have to remind myself to do my best, really best and thus no doubt can fit into me, I can nurture a constant self-direction.

And for that the word transcendence can assist and support to see what actually CAN and should be transcended and then comes the HOW.

I mean to acknowledge how we, as humanity as a whole currently are, the direction, the mean, the image and likeness of it, the character - it is not a nice picture, if one does not prepare to face all the abuse on earth can get crazy from it's immensity - because it is so uncool, only the really whole, stable and self-realized ones can remain really themselves in this deep hell without being influenced/lost/given up or even becoming mad yet act for all life and not lost in reactions...

It is so easy to turn our back to reality when all these sufferings influence us, we can feel sad, hopeless, lost - what experience then we identify that "what I feel is who I am, I do not feel good when I do feel bad, even if it is because how reality is, I just want to feel good anyway" - and then booooom, we look around to find something to feel good about - we are so brainwashed from our fear and tendency to dismiss, disregard reality - we re-define, twist and deceive ourselves by creating false ideas of freedom, equality: just to look at how equality now is considered to be associated with gay marriage and women's right to work or the right for to pray our own self-defined god while - and how freedom is defined as the freedom for secrecy, to buy and own things, weapons even if it means other's enslavement as freedom to exploit, abuse by the law etc...

Everything is deception in the value-system of this world somehow and to even consider to transcend is something what's definition and starting point also should be investigated within self-honesty.

I was walking in 'spiritual shoes' for quite some years and I've recognized a tendency to be distanced/desensitized from the actual sufferings of beings on earth and the inevitability of our death - in order to really let go the ego, the mind-tentacles, one indeed should let go the constant worry and false-compassion of feeling sorry for all the pain being caused in existence to be able to stand up as responsible, but it does not mean to become disregarding, to have excuses/justifications why one stops there or never even starts ACTING to accumulate what would be BEST FOR ALL.

But spiritual 'schools' already figured out a loophole from self-honest common sense point with actually make themselves believe that one first must reach enlightenment with non-attachment and meditation/attainment first and then will be able to help others, while all they do is imitating their own lack of non-attachment (btw, on meditation and non-attachment-related self-support to transcend, Sunette shared a great support once and I've made a video transcription for it, it's here) meanwhile the world system is really making earth to become a hellhole by destroying it's ability for healthy living and more and more are endlessly being abused with the totalitarian corporate enslavement to our own self-religion to energy, money, emotions/fears, hopes and neglect.

It's easy to just say 'suffering is not real', 'ego is not real', 'even our physical is not real', but how one could be more delusional than this?
Everything here in this physical is real - you will not find more real in existence than the physical here. It's not bad, it's our relationship with the physical within consciousness systems is what must be realized/understood/'transcended'. Starting with stopping the perception of separation but I walk this step by step from my point of view. First I've met this word in meditation.

So within spiritual agendas TRANSCENDENCE is a tricky one, because it should even start with the self-purification of the word itself.

Transcendence is a great word, in the system from various ways it's such a great word for providing a pricy product for the craving mind-slaves - it is a bit more direct, less ambiguous word than the word spirituality, which is like something what is not required into any sentence, like a filling, if we take out this word from a sentence, it still remains the same:

'I am walking on a spiritual path' - 'I am walking on a path'.

'I felt the spiritual connection when we kissed in the sunset' - 'I felt the connection when we kissed in the sunset'

'Let's go into Gandhi Spiritual Center' - 'Let's go into Gandhi Center'

See - it's like an energy package what seems to be different and at the same time the same for each human - yet it is like a 'filling', in fact just hiding other layers from self without realizing what it really means.

But for me transcendence seemed more like an action word, it points, moves, animates, let's see what the dictionary says about :

To transcend:

going beyond the limits of ordinary experience, comes from the Latin prefix trans-, meaning "beyond," and the word scandare, meaning "to climb." When you achieve transcendence, you have gone beyond ordinary limitations.

To ask what limitations we mean - it might also be 'personal' - for instance for me walk through self-limitation from inner beingness with want, will, discipline, diligence, honesty from deception, delusion, aimlessness, suppression, depression, dishonesty.

It suggests towards physical manifestation of being able to do better, more which comes from the inner realization of what I do not accept it anymore.

To clarify what can real transcendence start with we must be able to let go the delusions first to see what is reality here and working with facts makes us possible to really change - otherwise we approach reality with the split-misaligned perception and nothing is what it seems, nothing moves as we want, nothing will happen we desire for.

Thus I see priority by common sense to stop self-delusion first - and the Transcendence movie is specific within that because the 'protagonist' so to speak faces the fact that in physical he is lost, will decay, die but did not give up, he just explored what can be extended and expanded and in terms of inner space, inner awareness, an other platform to exist within and as: computer systems.

Many claim consciousness is life, the origin and destination, the alpha and omega of our existence while not realizing and dare to really investigate, explore, cross-reference and actually try to find the limits of consciousness.

What is consciousness and what is the physical?

What is then life? Is it determined by the organic material, the actual cells, the DNA, the information, the energy?

Obviously within this blog post there might be no answer, but more question, the ever-relevant question we are on is the one of: WHO AM I?

Especially when finding oneself within a system, which is already created, manifested, closed, very much automatized, limited, in fact programmed and as much accumulation and constant, consistent action was made to be formed like it is today - the same constant, consistent accumulation is required to see/realize/understand and then actually change it as ourselves as equal as one.

Many even say why change - ourselves, the world - it is PERFECT as it is, nothing to do, nothing to transcend except our strive and occupation for friction - and THEN we can be free of fear, the ego and thus be able to always move in harmony with everything - yet those who claim it do not really act so - do not really can actually DO anything particular - only demon-stating their choice with self-acceptance within self-limitation and not to question their freedom is like believing what is shown in movies/news that it is exactly the reality because believing what THEY experience without experiencing it is like a religion, not fact.

This self-development and the fascination with EXPERIENCE itself is also a good one to explore - what is experience? Many can say for having experience one does not require body, just a mind, a consciousness to move within and explore through - while in fact just being separated from the human physical body within perception and experience.

So then transcending the human life form, to see what is the most prominent, important point we have as issue, it is obvious if we start to explore this point from ourselves, what we, 'me' need first of all, always, constantly and see where to and whom to it is not given, provided but neglected, locked out from based on ridiculous conditions: no physical support, love, equality is existing, the patterns we imagine, desire, plan and manifest our life from are tainted with self-interest, self-delusion, self-suppression and self-defeat.

Food, water, health care, shelter, education is five most fundamental element of any human yet we are unable to provide that unconditionally and all we have is blame and excuse.

To really transcend who we really are today we must learn how to unlearn what we already have became.

Returning back to the movie once more with the 'reasoning' happened for why current human beingness is more and better by saying to exist within contradiction/friction while loving someone and hating at the same time, to have emotions, feelings while not seeing what really it is:

-Human emotion...It can contain illogical conflict.Can love someone......and yet hate the things that they've done. Machine can't reconcile that.

- Can you?
- Yes.

If we really look at it, what actually tells about us how we accept ourselves to exist and with what starting point while not realizing the manifested consequences we create in our reality: Human Consciousness is an energy-friction relationship-network conglomerate, a system, what always exists in polarities, with our thoughts/feelings/emotions hardwired into this system we are being influenced, directed, lived through these relationships separate from our physical beingness, separated from physical earth, separated from our inner self, each other, etc yet we do not recognize that we went too far and in fact are unable to stop this at any time we want, because we became it, became dependent on it, we are separated from each other, from what is here, from who we are through and as this mind consciousness system which always creates/requires energy, dependent on the substance and tries to imitate life.

Just as in the movie: Will Caster's(cool name) uploaded consciousness requires more processing power, more hardware, more energy from physical reality in order to exist, to expand, to influence, to conquer and while we are being mesmerized with this conflict in the movie among fear of change from the 'terrorists and government' and the Caster's predictable change towards technical solutions, virtualisation, connection, evolution etc, we miss the point of the word containing it's definition: con sciousness

Latin conscius: sharing knowledge, from com- with + scīre to know, as in the movie was referred to :

-"Can you prove that you are self-aware?"
-"Do you?"

And to actually see what is this self, and to be aware is also an interesting word:

aware: having or showing knowledge or understanding or realization or perception

[Old English gewær; related to Old Saxon, Old High German giwar Latin verērī to be fearful; see beware, wary]

So as we explore how this system is already pre-defined, pre-programmed, pre-ordained with words, relationships, systems and how we, individuals actually react and operate within action while what exact inner reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions are emerging we realize that most of our existence is already created as it is and we can say that it is ourselves who decided and created ourselves to be who we are today, but then the point of self-limitation comes into the picture that what are our limits, and what are the reasons to accept those limits?

What limits can be transcended, 'go beyond'? How our limits have been created/accepted/being maintained? What are perceptional and physical limits?

Is there any fear what stops us? Is there any desire what distracts us? Why is that?

That is why I refer to the painting what is at the top of this blog posts:

Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going?

Without knowing, understanding, seeing/realizing these points - we are not aware, we are not transcending, just evolving the same as who we were before.

Without figuring out a way from this inequality, this closed consequence-reflection system within our own mind and shared physical reality we remain the same. And to say who and how we are is human nature is like accepting our limitation without even be aware what exactly are our limitations and why they exist and how has been created. Nothing mystical or secret exists within this or hidden magic/sacred wisdom - everything is always here - in front of our eyes, as who we are, as what we do - if we do not see this - we do not know ourselves, we do not know what is here, we do not know anything!

But to walk through the mind, the relationships, the reactions, the personalities, the words - we can learn our creation and be responsible.

The definition of god is what we define it to be - if we accept it as a higher power, it is like accepting ourselves to be a slave, trying to pretend being irresponsible yet claiming free will - it is contradiction, con-tra-dic-tion - controlled-tradition, conned trained addiction, contained dicktation...

These are the points today I reflect from this movie, Transcendence and how to assist and support ourselves from practical, measurable, simple common sense way out from our lack of understanding, from our accepted self-limitation with the Desteni message, tools, study material and group of people.

Self-forgiveness is a self-reflection, a self-direction, self-expression to explore what we have allowed and accepted to became and to realize what must be stopped and changed, really, not only in the mind, but in and as physical reality.

Word by word we re-discover our already manifested creation in the mind and in reality and taking responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed and by being aware the facts, the specific details, we give ourselves a clean vision, a new chance, and forgive ourselves for 'falling' and commit to really change, transcend.

We can talk about happiness, love, freedom of individuals, groups and humanity as a whole but the equation is pretty simple:

Give as you would like to receive.

Love thy neighbor as thyself.

What I would like to have as a human being for living, what I already have, what we tend to be taken granted while if I look at the human system many lack of and they actually suffer and die yet we seclude ourselves into the idea of lack of transcendence with reason, with clarity within friction with confusion until we all get old, sick and die while pretending to love some. It's just weird.

Everybody dies. What is the reason to live? The future, the children to come, the destiny of mankind?

Isn't that love to consider what we leave behind when we die? What to love in this? What IS love then? Is there love? Isn't our love is conditional, pre-defined, limited?

What would mean unconditional love and what it is the price we give away for our adherence to deny our ability, responsibility to transcend our limitations?

To accept people die in hunger, to not having access for water - it is our lack of transcendence - within the delusion of religion of "self-interest", while even the word shows - "self: in the rest" - I am in the rest as well, as equal, as one.

Thus real transcendence in this current scenario we are existing within is not the body to let go, not the nanotechnology to become, not to upload into computer consciousness to be faster, omnipresent, more smart but to understand that we are what we accept and allow as it is consent, it is responsibility, it is self.

Seeing human our-selves to be mesmerized, controlled, divide, separated with energy, fear, money, value systems it is inequality, it is separation from others, in fact self.

We must equalize the money point, the unequal distribution of power on earth in order to transcend our own limitation for be able to live unconditional practical love.

To equalize the money point, to manifest human right REALLY for all from birth unconditionally, equally - to have enough for living by default is already entailing much of the doable, measurable, obvious transcendence which is not in the meditation, spiritual consciousness traveling we can find, but within the simple, basic needs of a human being to give as would like to receive: food, shelter, water, health care, education.

That is my points to give into the word of Transcendence - and pronounce again - I've walked many paths within spiritual/psychedelic/shamanic/tantric 'ways' to dissolve into non-duality and try to overcome my limitations and acceptances and allowances but it is clear that Self-honesty is the eye of the needle to find out what is real transcendence - and to recognize what must be done in terms of stopping participating within consciousness systems, the mind, thoughts, feelings, emotions of polarities to let go and really change, completely, consistently within full understanding of self and consequence.

Thus for transcending one does not require anything but self to be really able to acknowledge/explore/stop and change which for Self-forgiveness is the most practical way to accumulate practical awareness of why and how to actually do that, step by step, one breath at a time.

Because with Self-forgiveness one takes responsibility as a creator/created/creation and becomes aware of self-acceptance and when facing what is being forgiven it comes 'here' - and self starts to see the details, the reasons, the starting points - which is required to self learn to directly change.

I could write much-much more about the movie, the symbolism, the characters, the ideas, the depiction of the movie, but for now this is enough, check out the hangout about it wherein with Mike and Joana (check out their video channel as well with the link in their names) we discuss similar points, 'Taking Transcendence to the next level, with destonian perspective'.

For embracing the word Transcendence I've found the most profound, supporting and surprisingly new perspective within learning about creation, existence, the mind, self-support, business, sex, animals, death and many-many more at http://eqafe.com, which I listen regularly, almost every day, because as I see it is a very strong pillar for the future of education.

Also to start practically work on self-limitations and expanding practical awareness, I suggest Desteni I Process online courses, the starter is the DIP LITE, no money is required, yet a seasoned buddy is supporting the one who starts to explore oneself within regular writing and self-investigation, self-change.

What I will continue with is Self-forgiveness and Self-correction, Self-commitment about the word Transcendence.

[JTL Day 193] 10. Making Love Visible part 2

Continuing with

• [JTL Day 192] 10. Making Love Visible part 1 as a point within my Declaration of Living Principles.

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE.

Going deeper within the purification of the word LOVE through letting go all experiences, memories, definitions, reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions unconditionally.

It is to recognize that these words are of my personal experiences but to walk through these patterns as self and as others as humanity as a whole supports to stand up to the conscious, subconscious, unconscious layers of the mind which we are not aware of yet accepting and allowing and continuously giving permission to influence and direct our very decisions within our daily living.

This can be reflected back from the news, media, publications, art, music, social media, the law system, the monetary system and eventually how we are living and the responsibility one can take is to assist and support to question the apparently most relevant pillars of our ideas within the human mind such as love, freedom, joy and to recognize the fact that we are very much tainted with hate, enslavement and suffering what we accept and allow within our mind and within the world system as equal as one.

Thus Principled Living within Equality and Oneness to walk through the Self-dishonesty of one's mind is in fact not only one's mind but as more layers become visible within exploring Self-intimacy, it becomes walkable and changeable by self, one breath at a time, one deed at a time and thus creating the opportunity to give that change to all others equally as self and thus really explore what would real, visible, physical love mean for all equally.

I dare to walk through not only the dark corners of my mind, but the light as well, as both are of the same origin: separation from Life here - thus it is to not fall into the energetic polarities but within Principle - walk through each layers of the mind until I am the Unified Man Here.

Also within the alignment and commitment to Living Principles it is to realize that with the starting point of Equality and Oneness and the practical Unification of Man, in fact we can stand as "I am already a Unified Man" and from this standing it is here what must be realized, understood, forgiven and let go completely and change within and without.

So let's walk the mind consciousness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define love with bitterness because at the time I've defined myself to love someone and she rejected me defining this whole rejection, dismissing, neglecting, disregarding experience with the definition of love and feel myself completely aimless, goal-less, without direction and absolutely wasted because of the experience of not getting what I wanted and wanting it more and more and become obsessed with it to the degree that anything else in my life defining as not as important, everything throwing away and only focusing to the subject of the energetic experience of this striving, yearning, wanting which taints my mind, my body, my whole beingness and from that completely becoming this dark, void, endlessly empty veil wanting to embrace the subject of my love like an uncertain, thin shadow, a ghost and within these self-defined, self-created, self-judged, self-maintained experiences overwhelmed with the energy, the darkness, the choking experience of this sad, hopeless feeling of recognition of helplessness of not feasible craving for my love and thus defining myself and love according to these experiences, defining my beingness with these reactions without realizing these are just experiences in my mind, and the more I focus to these, the more energy I give into it and the more it will become inflated and never realizing the physical breath, the physical presence, the factual physical reality as cross-reference, as source, as stability to be aware of and stand as equal and with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself completely powerless in the experience of failure of the unfulfilled love and be overwhelmed by the disappointment of this throw-back and define myself as defeated, lost and fallen and feel pity and sorrow and sunk in the experience of cannot let go what defined as most precious, important, profound and valuable and within that defining myself more powerless and more lost and feel myself falling out from my human physical body, wanting to decay, pass, die just to not experiencing this apparently endless annihilation which in fact just an inflated, superimposed inner reflection of my own self-interest, self-centered, self-created, self-image which do not want and can not let go, release, step beyond.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for not being able to direct my thoughts, feelings, emotions, creating experiences within me by repeating what I find unpleasant in regarding to the definitions, experiences, memories to the word LOVE and wanting to understand, wanting to feel positive about it, wanting to change what has passed and believing that if I re-think, re-member, re-play the events what I've reacted to the most, then I would find a way to understand, to fulfill, to change or even let go the complete possession with the subject of my love what I wanted the most and never really questioning what I've defined as such attractive, why I wanted those values finding in another, feeling with another, defining having with another in fact within and as myself in the first place and what is the actual separation I've fallen into in and as my mind, defining as myself to not be able to stand myself here as whole, as complete, as fulfilled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to such an extent in finding what is love to the point of wanting to literally die because of not being able to fulfill what I've defined as love and only within the moment of action for destroying myself realizing that this is absolutely exaggeration, false trail and yet not realizing what I was doing but simply going into the another direction of polarity and defining love, woman, relationship as worthless, absolutely unnecessary and falsehood trying to protect my wounded ego and trying to protect it from an other opportunity of vulnerability and giving up the previously obsessed idea of 'love' but only for it's opposite as the hate and vengeance and defining that energetic experience as powerful and strong and interesting, profound and within that never realizing that it was self-hatred, self-destruction I wanted to exert because of what I've accepted and allowed myself to give into and literally, physically become and not being able to stop yet fearing from letting go thus remaining the same exact slave of my own self-dishonesty in and as my mind played out by the polarity game of positive and negative and in fact not changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself stoic, bitter, realist, pragmatist, investigator, spotter and defining myself, my life, my living to the discovery of truth, because feeling completely fooled, deceived, enslaved and wanting to find a way from the trap of love and hate by realizing both of are not who I really am and wanting to go beyond, to let go, to reborn, change and with that strive by feeling disappointed within both love and hate wanting to find something or somebody outside of me what would be the solution, the truth, the power and justice I've always striven for and never could really feel, become and remain as and within that never realizing that all I was looking for within love, hate, wanting to step beyond polarity was always here, self, in and as my physical location, myself, breathing constantly in and out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my beingness, my source, my life, my substance with always wanting something or someone to influence, tell me, who I am, how I be equal as one with myself and all what is here and within that give into the temptation of the mind, the relationships defined outside of me, through energy, through thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, pictures, images to define love separated from me, thus not being able to be in connection, in relationship, in unification with myself here directly and always wanting to use something separated from me to be me.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that any anger, hate, vengeance, anxiety, confusion, depression I experience, feel, define, accept and allow is because of the relationships I accept to exist with separated from me, because of the self-accepted self-separation, self-dishonesty I accept within and as me and within that moment of giving and being the energy of anger, hate, vengeance, anxiety, confusion, depression I do not take responsibility for what I have allowed myself to be and become and the consequences of what I create with it not only for myself but others in my reality and in fact all and everything within this existence.

I forgive myself that I have not realized/seen/understood that when going into the moods, energies, feelings, emotions of negative, it is not self I feel, it is not directly my physical beingness within I take refugee, but separate relationships and energetic movements which is of conditions, circumstances and allowing to tell me who I am I give permission to not express myself directly but of and as this mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that going into the self-pity and hatred for positive is not the solution, and then going into the positive and definitions of love either and never realizing that these are the same mind manifestations, just the energy polarity is different, but exactly the same separation relationships from directly self here.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that falling into the mind to tell me what love is, how to love and what to love and feeling positive and negative, going energetically high and low - I am not existing as who I really am as beingness as physical life but of consciousness systems, personality rules and matrices, characters, what are programmed by others, by who walked on earth before me, by those who I've given permission to influence me in my life through words, images, sounds and never having an absolutely clear moment to realize that by these influences, I am abusing life, abusing my life source substance in and as the physical and because of not realizing it, continuing with it, even protecting it as it would be me, as I would be love as I would be real and never facing the fact that this is not life, this is not love, just a manifested consequence of fear, separation, dishonesty and not realizing that I should stop, I can stop and find practical ways to do it, no matter how difficult can be, how long it would take or what really I have to walk through to find myself here as life as source as substance.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that defining relationships, partnership according to past, memories, associations, feelings, emotions automatically is not myself directly, only what I've allowed myself to manifest through and as the mind which can be understood, stopped, forgiven and change to not participate again within self-honesty, within slowing down within, self-investigation, self-writing, self-intimacy and self-commitments to prepare myself actually, really, physically let go each and every single reaction, definition, judgement.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to acknowledge that there is hate within myself for what I've allowed myself to manifest in this world, within myself, and hiding this hate with positivity, with hope, with forgetfulness, with obsession, occupation, distraction and automatic personality patterns to keep my mind busy and stimulating and constantly moving and never stopping for seeing directly what is here in and as physical facts as what I actually do and manifest and being responsible for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted to worry and in fact fear to be with those who are defining themselves, their values, feelings, life as of and for love because from knowing myself also defining that they are lost, not seeing, deluding themselves and by judging them diverting my focus from self here within consistency to judgment, projection, blame and not realizing that everyone walks the same mind and my responsibility is my stopping for my reactions and live and all I can do is share and support when it is asked.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being influenced by those who are mesmerized by the energies of love because they do not know what they praise for and what they experience and not realizing that judging anyone, blaming anyone will not make solution, rather than first making sure I do not react, do not judge, do not waver, do not change and then express myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and wait for better times, for to be loved and not realizing that it is myself here who I do not love that is why the need for love in the first place occurs and not facing the fact within self-honesty why exactly this lack of love for myself and why and what exactly I mean on 'love' and what relationships, reactions I react with for the word, sound, letters of love.

to be continued with more memories, judgements to let go

[JTL 163] Mystical Drug Experiences are like Ant inspecting a Lamborghini

Desteni Artists - Ant Inspecting Lamborghini by Bernard Poolman (picture is link)

I dare to question the drug-induced holy/mystical/oneness/bliss/enlightenment/god-experiences.

Question Everything

• Are they really relevant experiences or those are just the mind's play, an other level of enslavement?
• Do the people had experienced these really are able to apply this within their life and become more whole/effective/supportive for themselves and others?
• If we are absolutely self-honest and question these experiences, are we capable of really-really trust in these experiences?
• Do we really need to take mind-blowing drugs to figure out what would be the ACTION OF WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL?
• Isn't the utmost divine/god-like/enlightened act to accumulate physical consequences towards what is best for all?
• What is blocking individual human beings and humanity as a whole to simply consider the fact that what is best for all is what is best for the one?
• What is actually blocking to use our brain/imagination/logical mind to realize what must be done in order to manifest in this physical system what is best for ourselves and all others?
• Do we really need drugs to shatter/explode/intensify/zoom/effect our mind to consider what direction we should change in order to become a better/more effective/more practical person?
• What is really better for individuals and humanity as a group altogether than do we have currently?
• What do we really experience during mind-blowing drug experiences?
• Why do we really believe what we experience as divine/god-like/mystical/enlightened?
• What is the point what should be considered to use common sense and see beyond our experiences and consider facts and practical solutions?
• What are the current excuses do we have for not being able to figure out what is really here and claiming we need to blow our mind in order to see beyond our accepted limitations?

These are just introductory questions, I mean - to question everything should not be a question because until I am on a quest for what is truth - I am not here, I am amazed in the journey through a maze of consciousness experiences in my mind while I am separated from what is really here as truth as this physical reality, Earth, ground, animals, plants, dirt, air, other humans and lot's of manifested consequences what are already proven not to be best for all what must be addressed with common sense to sort out.

Some people do use mind-blowing drugs to experience 'beyond the veil' and some claim for this life-changing experiences.

Here is the interview with Bernard Poolman about drugs.

"What is being accessed during the use of drugs is the mind, on become more aware of either a segment or a more complete picture of the mind. Obviously many then claim that they had a divine experience and they have become more knowledgeable, even wise and they have experienced oneness, they have touched god, all kinds of stuff.
I have a really sad news for you because to give you a context of your experience what you are actually seeing is to look at
An ant inspecting a Lamborghini. For the ant the Lamborghini look amazing and out of this world but even in this world the Lamborghini is completely irrelevant. Your experience is completely irrelevant. Your oneness experience is simply you're becoming aware of that you are part of a system that controls you within which you do not exist at all. Nothing what is experienced while on drugs is real. And as I mentioned you will give me many excuses and wonderful things because apparently their experience was something divine. It isn't. It's just your mind.
Now if your mind is to such an extent superior to you and you are mostly unable to actually contain, direct or orchestrate or connect or map your own thoughts, ~nevermind your memories, you can't even remember what happened during your life? How can you trust any of your perceptional insights? How can you trust any of the knowledge you hide behind? How can you trust anything that you are experiencing?
Careful! Delusion! Delusion! Delusion! Illusion! Illusion. The word illusion is very specific. It says you are losing. You'll lose yourself completely. And there is no divine spark waiting, there is no great merging with the great spirit waiting. It was all a lie. Time to take your hands out of the pocket and to start to find way to sort out this reality because you are here as the result of the sins of your fathers.
What you are busy doing is creating the future of your children. You are responsible as your fathers and great-fathers and forefathers were responsible.
Time to take responsibility..."

My experiences

I've had - really had - countless of experiences on various drugs, mostly with what are referred as 'psychedelics' - from smal spliffs to horrendous dosages for surreal trips and everything I've experienced was just an experience - not reality.

I've SEEN things, I've seen through levels of consciousness systems, I've seen dimensions, worlds, constructs many and many-many more - but honestly, in the current life I live on Earth, in this body, how these contribute for the problems I face in terms of finding practical solutions? In no way whatsoever. All I've realized was that it's all perception, it's all illusion what I perceive but that does not mean this reality is an illusion.
The experience is what with we relate and then reacting to experience we are being stimulated by- drugs are only catalyzers only.

Just like those mainstream hollywood action flicks wherein hundreds of people are working hard for a year on visualizing and sounding the screenplay perfectly and then starting the production by artistic camera moves towards the movie's peak moment where the hero says something apparently relevant message like 'you have to love yourself' or 'family first' with emotion-tweaking music and oversaturated visuals and you might have wet eyes and a tiny automated nodding and then the movie continues with destructive car chasing, bloody shooting rage and nonsensical fistfight between the ultimate good and evil and then the winner hugs his model-like half-plastic masked babe and pans away with a kiss in the sunset hearing groovy music.

Not a bad analogy if I see that tripping on drugs takes soooooo much time while we are entertained within our mind, not being really here, not being able to take full responsibility, not even be able to walk through traffic or even speak properly - but we can see like Van Gogh's paintings or watch plants as breathing and glowing fractals and see our thinking like cartoon's bubbles falling apart, explode or dissolve while connect with the music completely and experience intensity and bliss - but meanwhile we should not drive as we are so flying high we are completely off-track from phyisical reality and it feels so more real, more free that we'd want to stay in wonderland for ever.

I am here questioning the divinity of drug experiences.

I have walked this path for several years with manifesting myself as the character as an eraserhead and I've mastered the art of making habit of myself being completely off-here, automated, ignorant and absolutely acceptive for all the problems in this world, the full self-acceptance of being a self who is not real in and as this enslavement of consciousness system which apparently means being human entails of on individual and humanity as a whole.

The intent was good - to get free, to go beyond my limitations, to see new perspectives, to transcend, to be able to help others - yet what I've manifested through the personalities I've became with the so called mystical experiences was not freedom at all but self-delusion and my life proven absolutely not working.

I was kind of hectic within that, I always had the tendency to be radical so to speak within ensuring doing things what I do with full of my beingness if I could - so within the quest in searching the truth I've put on all my cards to spiritual and psychedelic practices for quite some years.

What I have found that people do not really commit themselves for what they want for instance some do buddhist meditation and tries to apply it's sort of principles . It suggests to put aside alcohol and drugs or do the practices every day for progression and apply several symbolism into their living such as always discouraging the ego and self-interest, thoughts, emotions, desire while what people mostly ending up doing is standing on several principle-feets/columns, meaning 'keeping their old life' what is being used as justification why not fully applying the 'practice's principles'.

That is why for instance in Jesus teachings there is this 'leave your parents' - give up all who you were before otherwise you will remain the same even when you try to apply new paradigms for your living standards - first empty the cup before filling up with new stuff...
And it obviously does not mean give your parents the finger and let them rot without ever wanting to see them as it would oppose the 'give as you would like to receive' - but to leave your parent's point of views, starting points, philosophical codes and start from scratches finding out what is your real truth of who you are and what you do and more importantly: what you want to become.

For me this was a bit easy as I came from a family wherein I've seen the lower-end side of living, the poor family in the village, I've seen killing animals daily from kittens to horses and family members arguing and fighting drunk almost every day and the patterns I've soaked into my beingness as living was not really practical but theatrically reactive, in my mind quite radioactive, meaning not really being able to enjoy myself or have stability to be able to deal with reality and solve my psychological issues such as being blaming, shameful, suppressive, energy-addicted daydreaming, procrastinating boy and the only luck I've had that was able to deal with science and computers and also my will to want to become more than I've experienced myself to be, mostly taken from books and movies because the patterns I've seen as 'who I am' was not satisfying, but more frustrating, chaining so the need for changing myself, my reality was not really a choice but more like act of surviving.

So for that - I was eager to fully blow my mind with drugs and actively trying out several spiritual practices while I was totally ready to give up everything I consisted of - except my strongest desires such as beautiful women, money and maybe some sort of fame and lots of power(defined mostly by the other desires) - which by my way proven to be very difficult but I quite soon realized this is why I am born, not for half-solutions, so I just do it and kind of never see back or look more forward while trying to erase my old personalities which already proven as not cool because suppressions, doubt, petrifying fears and burning, reality-blurring desires.

I've had my alcohol moments at university - it was like inhibiting the inhibition system within my mind - so I was able to express myself and talk! but after some years my body was like 'why you killing me?' and also all I've noticed that I did not really change who I was then if I allowed myself to get loose - I was just reckless and more like an unchained abused little wild animal who just raged around wrecking and laughing what did not seem right and also my father and many family members already walked this path and I've seen directly what alcohol really do with people's mind and body which was a no-go quite soon. I had this stomach-acid problem by always swallowing my reactions to remain apparently calm and combining that with lots of wine, shots, so when I finished university I had ulcer which was really hellish and completely blocked my ability to enjoy any given hour in my life so I lost my interest with alcohol when I started to smoke weed, which gave 'strange experience' while kind of I saw myself echoing in my mind and I calmed down with it.

Then I was surprised when I was high for the first time with acid - it was like smoking but 1000 times stronger - and it was still not enough so I wanted it again and the second time was a sort of white light experience, like a reset on computer - I've experienced silence, quietness, I was unable to define and I was dead and yet I was walking around so it seemed quite alive-like. This life-style has been sucked me into it's scenes quite deeply and I was learning how to not freak out while melting my mind completely.

There were aspects what kind of proven to be supportive, to be able to adapt the fast-changing mind-sets, external settings, the madness, the constant uncertainty of this changing world within and without - but in overall with this I was unable to work with physical reality effectively, only for a period of time of letting go was cool but then I've defined letting go, chaos and destruction within as who I am and then I've became it, I've became addicted to remaining who I've defined myself to be in order to perceive who I am to what I wanted to be while in reality from time to time accumulating hitting rock bottom and then realizing I was not here and missed some relevant points from what I've made mistakes and manifested irreversible consequences and losing everything again and again and again.

So for the so called divine and mystical experiences wherein one feels the touch of god and the oneness, the matrix, the beauty of the system: it is very important to question everything, especially the positive reactions within ourselves. I've explored this scene sooooooo much, I remember the weirdest experiences, changing visions, walking in mandala-fields, seeing everyone as myself literally, seeing the inner demon within everybody, seeing the layers of the minds, bodies or seeing energies, codes, fractals, ocean-like flowing of visuals, mercury-like people-groups flowing, siddhas, buddhas, aspects, bardo, ghosts, fairies, astral projection, obe, hypnosis, countless of white light experiences, ecstatic moments, body-switch, shamanic, tantric, krishna, jesus, buddha-experiences, whatever, YOU NAME IT, probably I've experienced - it's kind of groovy - but when I am for the real truth, nothing but the truth of myself, of reality, of facts, of everything - I can easily say this is nothing compared to Self-honest Living Here in Every Moment, only distraction, mesmerizing obsession to hide behind.
These experiences surely gave me perspectives, memories, references for what I am capable with the mind, even for moments without the mind - but after all I've proven myself - to myself and even others - that I was not directing, I was just 'free-riding' and I was reactive, automatic and picked up quite some quite schizophrenic, mind-splitting, megalomaniac convictions which with all I did was protecting my own interest to not needing to REALLY change, even by giving up these experiences completely.

System perspective

This is a very relevant topic to talk about as the world system consciousness is (constantly) evolving the idea of virtualization in the mind trying to promote experience instead of facts and solutions for all (as the machine-like manifested consequence-reflection of ourselves as equal as one) and what is spreading is to blow the mind as human right with those legalization campaigns for dope and other psychedelic, enteogenic drugs while almost half of the planet has no got no human right to have food, shelter, water, health care and education so within looking at priorities, the concept of equality is quite toxic when all the western people are thinking equality as the right to be openly gay, blowing mind with drugs and also have the right to march publicly, to live in secrecy, privacy and even now becoming to demand basic income while in overall looking the humanity as a whole we do not give that to all country while justifying it with manifested separation by definition of countries, religions, cultures, opinions so it is so fucked up if we start to investigate it with common sense, sober mind...but mostly we are always ready for an other fascinating experience to explore more while facts and manifested consequences accumulate.

I am not against the decriminalization personally as in my perspective it is absolutely exaggeration and unfair to go to jail because one is blowing mind with substances, unless manifesting brutal consequences - especially while many anti-life pro-war-public figure criminals are walking freely on Earth - it is also the question of what do we really have right to do by the law, by morality, by consideration of all participants.

One more thing I point out here is that it is also quite unequal for instance when the big promoter of weed Snoop Dogg is being caught with a pillow-sized quantity of dope at an airport, he just pays some thousands of fine and gets front coverage with his fox-like smile on it saying "Life is cool, bro, do it too!" while if some street kids are being caught with some spliffs they literally hit rock bottom in the jail judging them as the nastiest evil so it is quite a controversial topic.

Also I am aware of the the researches at MAPS and other 'multidisciplinary' psychedelic therapeutic groups for instance for war veterans with PTSD and with MDMA and Psylocybin they have some result for sure - but these wrecked humans(coming home from hell of Iraq, Afghan or Somali etc wars) are so much screwed up by directly facing real reality of the demonic nature of mankind within which they literally torture and abuse and kill each other, I mean human killing human is like brother killing sister, not much different, especially when we investigate the causes for wars and realize that is mostly by corporate greed for profit and not even ideology or moral reasons - that is only the media propaganda to catalyze the human mind's emotions -  these soldiers are really deserve therapies what can lesser their fuckedup-ness of their severed mind and beingness to stop living in constant horror - for which drugs - with supportive, so to speak controlled environment - they can re-visit the trauma experiences and revive from the dreadful physical shock they've been programmed to exist.
I am sure that if those therapies would embrace and introduce supporting with Self-forgiveness, Self-honesty, Writing, they would result with much more effectiveness as I have used that too to support myself from stopping extreme paranoia with the assistance of Desteni Forum and Desteni I Process course.

Mystical experiences

Let's look back at the point of 'divine', 'mystical', 'holy' experiences which I've realized as a complete delusion, illusion, not being true at all but our perception through still remaining in and as our owned (or being owned by) mind system making us believe we are reaching out while all what happens is that we are being blinded by the bars of our mind-cage shining bright with the effect of the drug over saturating, melting and liquifying our already existing separation from reality within exponential exaggeration.

Such as within the quoted Bernard Poolman's interview - people will give many excuses and justifications of how those experiences are resulting them becoming more knowledge-able, wise etc however it should be common sense that if we do not practically become more responsible and actually be able to do for what is best for all with any experience then it is not worth a moment to even talk about.

Whatever is 'divine' - it means separated - polarity - it's like in the Orwell's Animal farm - "all animals are equal, but there are more equals" - just like in our manifested human system with it's blood, the money system - just like we define our moments sliced in time, judged by quality, positive or negative which is always only comes from self-interest. Self-interest indeed, even when we 'think about others first' it is about ourselves one layer deeper and when it comes down to Earth and the only acceptable solution obviously should be about really changing who we are according to what is best for all.

I really like the music for instance of Shpongle but what they speak about 'Divine Moments of Truth' referring to Dimetyl Triptamin enteogenic drug which with one can see through the veil and realize what is going on is questionable.

I mean, everything is questionable with common sense! Even questioning our questioning and I am not kidding - nothing in this world is what it seems and we want absolute self-realization we can not trust anything! Especially what comes from our perception as it has been formed, shaped from the first breath we've born here by forces outside of us therefore if we want to aim absolute realization from where we will not fall from time to time - we should get to the bottom of all things with practical, physically measurable Self-honesty with the tools of Self-forgiveness, Self-honesty, Writing, group support, etc

Even people refer to DMT that it is produced in the body, the mind, whatever they say to justify that what they experience is more real than our physical world - for me it is irrelevant if I can not become more practical for what is best for all in this human system. And be mind-blowing musician, promoting mind-blowing drugs will really solve the economic/environmental/educational issues and manifest a system for ensuring to prevent poverty/war/child-abuse/slavery/destroying ecology?

What is best for all is not a mystical term - it is something what can be considered by the 'give as you would like to receive' and 'love thy neighbor as thyself' principles. Food, shelter, water, education, health care is what we want for ourselves, so then seeing facts - currently it is not given to all - so first of all, this would be the best for all, that's simple, no need a trip to the Mars to see this through...

Also the musician from Shpongle(this is very popular in the mind-blowing scene and many does similarly quoting drug-experiences by psychonaut foes) has an other song called 'Mystical experiences' - which I really like as music but the message is the same: there are experiences which through one can experience great oneness, a world beyond which is more divine.

I agree with the need for deeper understanding what people grasp of this reality, I really do, which for religions and even science can not really stand for as those are more easily questionable because science is more and more becoming the tool and fuel for more corporate greed for profit and religions mostly point attention towards obedience and beyond death and asking for divine mercy while being comfortable with even child-woman-abuse and holy wars and the media is selling consumer materialism big time which also bulks in environmental and all living creature's abuse and aimless reproduction on mind- and physical level so people are hunger for real answers within the era of complete brainwashing thus trying to come up with more and more extreme methods to shake off the chains of our own enslavement.

The era of modern shamans, yogis, tantrikas, mind-revolutionists, psychonauts new-agen, spiritual and consciousness entrepreneurs has come wherein conviction of freedom is always at our fingertips to trip into the world of divine, mystical, profound, blissful spirit world of our true nature with various chemical substances.

I am deeply sorry but I humbly disagree. And I repeat - I've had these experiences, so vivid, so mesmerizing, so deep, so detailed that many currently I can not even describe and I've even enjoyed it, it was really like space-travel with the speed of light, but if it comes to Self-realization, Self-honesty towards practical solutions I clearly state that it was just the dimensions of Mind Consciousness System - not life, not really real.

For fun, artistic influences, sort of self-therapy, psychological-self-evaluation and acknowledging the extent of my own mind systems within which I exist as my own self-accepted enslavement for working with the tools of Self-forgiveness, Self-investigation it can be supportive for once in a while if one has the ability to apply Self-honesty.
Within each experience if we dare to really slow down - we can reach it's limit, it's end and it's systematic equation so to speak which can be explored through words, their relationships and energetic reactions always linked back to the human physical body. It's just the question of specificity and Self-honesty applied with measurable ways such as Self-forgiveness written, said aloud.

Also people would response that if one would require such experiences for becoming a less asshole, why not we let them experiment with their mind?

First of all you and your mind, your body is government property, what you have signed on many documents already under the capitalized letters of your name so are owned - hmm just kidding, but seriously - our so called 'civilization' is the external representation of our own mind consciousness system which determines how we perceive and react to things since our first moment.

We always exist within equal and one relationships as it is the basic principle in existence: Equality and Oneness as Self as all as one as equal. That's why we are always in relationship with something, even in drug experiences.

But if one has not dealt with the conscious mind, subconscious/unconscious mind, one's own-self interest, the desires, fears, ego and not yet manifested a stable physical presence and consistent breathing here as silence within in application and direction to walk Self-forgiveness to immediately re-align and change - these things will make one believe into constructs which are not really real, only the mind is at play which we are automated ourselves to define(even ourselves) with, therefore as as the mind itself.

So whatever is 'mystical', it is sneaky so to speak - 'myst I call' to hide behind, because I am unable to cut through the bullshit because I am not absolutely Self-honest/brave enough to understand all aspects, relationships, parts of my own creation, therefore this mysticism is here to justify with that "I do not fully understand what and why I do, I just know, I just believe, I just trust".

This is unacceptable within the context of Absolute Self-honesty and obviously within common sensical cross-referencing as it might fall with comparing to facts therefore we have to question these whole spiritual vocabularies which has been spread across the cultures all over the planet what if we dare to investigate it's history, FACTS, we can see - all the spiritual agenda was just a smart coup as any other consumerism, only this one has aimed the mind, it's energetic systems(what then will stimulate to do capitalistic consumerism).

And it is not even just about the point of Self-honesty but within delusion one's actions and their consequences into the physical reality, Earth without really being aware of what one's actions are causing through participating for instance in the capitalistic cannibalistic system wherein half of the human population of the planet is living in poverty meaning not having proper food, water, shelter, education, health care so then the accumulation of one's actions or not actions is also a responsibility whether one is aware about it or not.

And I repeat - I do not have problem with the mind-altering drugs at all - only what I refer to is for practical solution purposes these are obviously not the solution. Many claim, promote and even agitate these substances and the experiences they had on those that it is the solution while it is also questionable. It is so cool we see those vivid hallucinations of course, but many might freak out and they do not do it anymore, but if one then does it again and again and again for the tripping - is that really for transcending?
I still visit goa-psy-trance parties/festivals sometimes for fun and dance(not consuming anything only water) or making videos or helping on sound stage or just test myself(do I have energetic reaction in the mind and then re-align with Self-forgiveness immediately) and I look around and many people blow their mind and drink a lot by habit as it is the 'normal party' and is it really that 'revolutionary'/'life-changing'? Though it is cool to not judge yet embrace all what is here in all ways.

For let go of the reins within our mind, unscrewing the frames of it, having reference-experiences for what is like when we are not defining, when we see the extent of the mind consciousness layers and energetic manifestations it can be a mind-field-trip literally but within this one experience can easily fuck up one's own process of Self-realization by even within one thought-feeling-process when using it as fact while it is just a reaction of the past when one was Self-dishonest, in separation of fear from what is really real therefore manifesting some patterns from what one acts out or starts out a thing in one's living which seems valid, legit or even self-honest while it was literally just a tripping.

For instance when I use big equations for computing quantities for materials being needed for a house to build up and in the equation-process for mixing cement I make a mistake and count on ten times less one of the requirements than what is needed for it to last and it turns out only when it is too late when workers build up the house by it and later it falls apart and then it is already too late to correct it.

Once I've had the conclusion that I am a buddha, so for years I was doing buddhist things and then I've realized I am not.
Once I've perceived myself as light - so then from that moment I've defined myself constantly as 'light' - while I am not light. It is the polarity of the mind, depending on positive, negative: lightness, darkness.
Once I've felt myself as being this christ consciousness, for months  I was wondering about that while I was able to let it go and realized it was by super-fast thoughts I've allowed to influence me.
Another time I've had experience talking to a specific mahasiddha(sort of old story of a buddha-like guy who had superpowers, just like from x-man) in a dream so then I've felt myself like 'I've given directions and teachings directly from a buddha-aspect) which I've researched for years, even went to India to find more original scriptures about it.
Many-many and many-many more experiences I've had while here, today I do see it was conviction, opinion, with good intentions nothing else but self-interest, and took invaluable years to realize how exactly I was Self-dishonest to be able to see through my own, self-created, self-maintained, thought-, feeling-, emotion-, memory-image-tuned experiences.

This is the mind - we can experience whatever we intensify ourselves into by the thoughts, feelings, emotions - if we have enough money for it and be able to pay for health, food, shelter - and there are many who can not afford to escape into experiences of positive, groovy moments but they suffer and survive - or not. It is crucial to understand how we are creating experiences through our mind.

It is similar in and as the mind where positive and negative judgements, energies are constantly moving and to see what is real one is required to lean back and stop participating - and within the drug experience these all systems are not really being stopped - only all is being liquified for one big blob within which one is tripping constantly and all the experiences are happening and within that one is not seeing thoughts, only patterns, geometry, colors, frequencies etc - while it is the same system, only it is being heated up (or cooled down) to have different effects.

So anything seems mystical - it is suspicious that "I am in delusion with justification".

It also can become easily a trap - as we peel off a layer with drugs and see another - and then we do another 'trip' to face the next layer - and then we also experience the mind blowing - and then again - while we completely miss the point of direct changing ourselves - and wanting to use the stuff to experience again or have a more direct reference or having a more deep, longer, intense, profound experience - but it's just experience - completely individual - even when we do it together and we feel similar, whatever - we do not understand how the mind works, it is always creates virtual space within we are being entertained - and if drugs effect our mind - we are not here, we are in the mind, it's common sense.
We even can state that we are simulating life - but after all all we do just stimulate ourselves.

There is nothing within our mind or consciousness which can not be explored within practical self-honesty HERE, breath by breath, step by step, if required with specific assistance.

That is real Self-intimacy - the Transcendence of the Mystical.

Just some points to 'thing' about... If you disagree - simply share your perspective if you dare to stand out and see your common sense and discuss it openly with no shame.

I am open for facts and cross-referencing, these are the points I've realized.

What I've also realized is that many of the so called enlightened people are not standing up and out and share their point of views - therefore it is already questionable is it really real, meaning if you would be so sure that you are really knowing, really transcending, why don't you want to share that so fucking divine revelation with all the world openly?

Investigate your interest, your motivation, your direction, your willingness and capability of sort things out on Earth. No matter what's the matter - what is the excuse? That should be obvious how to step through and ACT SOLUTION if you are really enlightened - if not, then question everything from scratches. Every day if required, every moment if needed. Simple.

Also when one is blowing with these drugs - can also incorporate the F.E.A.R.

Fear of being punished from the law system being completely hooked on stuffs which are illegal? This was a great point also within my living with drugs for self-betterment - for my reasoning it was this buddha-thing(buddha referring here as 'awakened one'), one saying was that

'A buddha should not rely on anything'.

I mean literally anything - so if I do need anything for being aware - am I being aware or just being effected to feel more aware until the effect is gone?
So even referring to such thing as 'buddha'(which is a label, a definition, a picture, a judgment in the mind) is already a relying - relationship, separation, fear. Unacceptable. Push through it and whenever comes up - apply Self-forgiveness immediately and re-align in one breath and stand.
Not much time after applying Self-forgiveness directly to it one can realize the enormous power of letting go such belief-system and start to realize how much it was indeed blocking real freedom to be here. And from that there is no turning back - Self-honesty is always who we are - or who we are not and that's it.

So after all - for me all mind-altering drug has proven to strengthen only the inner mind for external dependency for perceptions which do not stand through the test of time.

For that it was the beginning of the great war of intensity for having a so strong mind-blast that I should be shifted to the 'other side' permanently. Of course the intensity also only requires for the mind, not for Self-honesty, Breath, Act where we can stand within stability - in and as our human physical body.

For the purpose of mind-blowing drugs if one use these as mind-effects, visualizations, mind-lubricants it can be sort of fun regardless of the fact that it fucks with the mind with ways one does not comprehend therefore it is mostly the separation what is being fueled within one's mind about there are divine moments, the mystical experiences are more real while these are just really the moments of one is seeing the mind system from different angles.

In this perspective for the real self-support it can be used a very few times but only for the sake of realizing how much we are fucked within our mind which we have to take seriously in terms of working through delusions word by word what we do actively accept and allow within our normal daily living.

For the simplicity it is like a war going on within our mind - the positive, negative, neutral energetic forces are being created through frictions of the judgements we participate within and each breath we miss to remain here in inner silence - we are not here, only in this virtual mind field which we were proudly able to program to perceive a some sort of reality for what we do not really take responsibility for.

Each word to we store reactions, memories, feelings which are being programmed into our own physical body to react to what then stimulates the mind, energy, thoughts, feelings, emotions what we will bear one after another even if it is obviously out of context from HERE, even when it is just distraction, energetic accumulation, spite or even self-abuse.

But when the thought is coming here - it is already manifesting in the mind - and if we are not slowed down within enough to literally be faster than our mind - then the mind will always walk in front of us in one step beyond and simply mirroring our starting point of inner separation from ourselves, from the external world therefore being completely powerless and victimized by: our own self-dishonesty towards ourselves and to the external world as equal as one moment by moment accumulating more and more physical consequences not only for ourselves but for our children, the future, the destiny of mankind.

We must be able to become literally faster, smarter, greater, stronger than our mind which requires slow but sure accumulation breath by breath to not participate within it, not being directed, mesmerized, pulled into.
The fact is that our mind is always one(or more) step beyond of us, who do consciously experience and the mind is constantly busy, scanning, processing, equalizing, predicting as a supercomputer and changing the curtains in front of us - but this mind is who we allowed to direct us - and this mind can not be shattered, left behind with drugs - as it is the inner manifestation of separation of ourselves from ourselves - so we must understand the mind, how it works, what triggers it, why I am being reacted the way I am now feeling good, feeling shitty - all we have to know without thinking, without memories - that is awareness - what for Self-forgiveness written, said aloud is the solution - I will be able to see the mind-patterns before being thrown at me as 'experience' and I can become faster - while being silent, here, directive physically.
Even if we can experience these on drugs - it is not really helping as while on stimulated by drug energies - it is not SELF who changed, only being stimulated to perceive differently - so then after the drug experience is gone - we are the same - only having some references which we might define, think about and in that moment we are more screwed as to use the dualistic mind to define non-dualistic mind is the direct way for absolute delusion it is sure, I've walked it, will not work, only for self-interest, but if we open up ourselves to really act for what is best for all, within this capitalistic, limited system, then we will see, it is not practical, it is slowing us down, it is filtering out facts, it is not practical.

So transcendence is letting go all - even experiences, even drugs - if you insist and take the risk, try, for sure(with assistance, as the guy really jumped out from the window, I did not believe in this shit, but he really did, and he is alright now but did he really change? I am not sure, time will tell).

And transcending is not meaning letting go the physical - it means letting go delusions, applying Self-honesty, absolutely, in each breath. And then we can become capable of seeing/realizing/understanding that the mind consciousness is dependent on physical energy, the human physical body, which is way more superior than our mind, than consciousness.

How much more do we need when we really realize the fact that we are inferior to our own mind which is inferior to consciousness systems which is inferior to the physical?

Investigate, question, apply - it is not the lazy, tripping rebel who will realize, but the diligent, self-honest, practical - and if I can become this, any psychonaut can if really dares. This process will be a shit load of more intense when letting go the mind-altering options but then we are able to work directly with and on ourselves for changing and then applying that into our direct reality to really be able to stand for all equally because that assists to embrace what is real, here.

For real solutions we must be in this system but not of the system, understand our inner mind system how we are behaving, why do we behave so and what is our individual impact to the greater human system which has it's own character so to speak. The capitalistic system, the money system is enslaving almost everyone equally while some are feeling divine, mystical, god-like with all their billion times billions of money which to we should stand up to in practical way and use the current system and it's rules to have impact which is relevant which can be accumulated by individuals who really did realize what is the first priority, what must be life, what must be equal life for all.

That is why the Equal Life Foundation has been formed and running various projects, researches to accumulate real solutions such as Living Income Guaranteed for an immediate solution for poverty, famine, child-abuse which for no mind-blowing god-like drug experience is required to see it's immediate need today as daily 30.000 child dies from famine each day which for we must stand together to vote and implement and manifest a system which ensures ground to earth solution.

Personally me, who've invested so much time and effort to know these drugs, experiences, if I would see these things as the most practical solution for the greatest problems to humanity, I might consider supporting these things - but within investigating how the systems really work and how to become the most effective to participate within standing up to these by investigating and participating, I've found these drugs, the experiences not much relevant and from a perspective directly as blocking my effectiveness to expand to directions what to I am directing to move so it is common sense for me within my personal process to let go these experiences, substances and trusting myself to give my support to other manifestations what require focus, consistency, clarity and diligent accumulative effort to have relevant impact on educational, online and local societies as well.

And it is obviously an excuse to claim that these things do not accumulate consequences which are obviously questionable for not only physical but mental health as well which is also a point of Self-honesty I am referring to. If one can acknowledge that even if would like to stop but can't then it is time for ask for support and it is not shameful, for me, when I've approached Desteni forum in 2007, it was common sense to ask for support and that was the one of the most worthy of my decisions in my life because from that moment I am stabilizing and expanding day by day without a doubt which is also available for anyone who really wants to.

So investigate the Mind, Self here, Human Systems by investigating Desteni support sites:

• Desteni I Process LITE for understanding how to work on mind, self, for practical Self-honesty
• Self-supportive mind-blowing Audio Interviews from EQAFE
• Living Income Guaranteed by Equal Life Foundation
• Desteni Forum for sharing Self-realization and ask questions
• Desteni WIKI on drugs
• Why drug experience give the feeling of freedom?

That is all for today about the context of Ant inspecting Lamborghini.