[JTL Day 193] 10. Making Love Visible part 2

Continuing with

• [JTL Day 192] 10. Making Love Visible part 1 as a point within my Declaration of Living Principles.

10. Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE.

Going deeper within the purification of the word LOVE through letting go all experiences, memories, definitions, reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions unconditionally.

It is to recognize that these words are of my personal experiences but to walk through these patterns as self and as others as humanity as a whole supports to stand up to the conscious, subconscious, unconscious layers of the mind which we are not aware of yet accepting and allowing and continuously giving permission to influence and direct our very decisions within our daily living.

This can be reflected back from the news, media, publications, art, music, social media, the law system, the monetary system and eventually how we are living and the responsibility one can take is to assist and support to question the apparently most relevant pillars of our ideas within the human mind such as love, freedom, joy and to recognize the fact that we are very much tainted with hate, enslavement and suffering what we accept and allow within our mind and within the world system as equal as one.

Thus Principled Living within Equality and Oneness to walk through the Self-dishonesty of one's mind is in fact not only one's mind but as more layers become visible within exploring Self-intimacy, it becomes walkable and changeable by self, one breath at a time, one deed at a time and thus creating the opportunity to give that change to all others equally as self and thus really explore what would real, visible, physical love mean for all equally.

I dare to walk through not only the dark corners of my mind, but the light as well, as both are of the same origin: separation from Life here - thus it is to not fall into the energetic polarities but within Principle - walk through each layers of the mind until I am the Unified Man Here.

Also within the alignment and commitment to Living Principles it is to realize that with the starting point of Equality and Oneness and the practical Unification of Man, in fact we can stand as "I am already a Unified Man" and from this standing it is here what must be realized, understood, forgiven and let go completely and change within and without.

So let's walk the mind consciousness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define love with bitterness because at the time I've defined myself to love someone and she rejected me defining this whole rejection, dismissing, neglecting, disregarding experience with the definition of love and feel myself completely aimless, goal-less, without direction and absolutely wasted because of the experience of not getting what I wanted and wanting it more and more and become obsessed with it to the degree that anything else in my life defining as not as important, everything throwing away and only focusing to the subject of the energetic experience of this striving, yearning, wanting which taints my mind, my body, my whole beingness and from that completely becoming this dark, void, endlessly empty veil wanting to embrace the subject of my love like an uncertain, thin shadow, a ghost and within these self-defined, self-created, self-judged, self-maintained experiences overwhelmed with the energy, the darkness, the choking experience of this sad, hopeless feeling of recognition of helplessness of not feasible craving for my love and thus defining myself and love according to these experiences, defining my beingness with these reactions without realizing these are just experiences in my mind, and the more I focus to these, the more energy I give into it and the more it will become inflated and never realizing the physical breath, the physical presence, the factual physical reality as cross-reference, as source, as stability to be aware of and stand as equal and with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself completely powerless in the experience of failure of the unfulfilled love and be overwhelmed by the disappointment of this throw-back and define myself as defeated, lost and fallen and feel pity and sorrow and sunk in the experience of cannot let go what defined as most precious, important, profound and valuable and within that defining myself more powerless and more lost and feel myself falling out from my human physical body, wanting to decay, pass, die just to not experiencing this apparently endless annihilation which in fact just an inflated, superimposed inner reflection of my own self-interest, self-centered, self-created, self-image which do not want and can not let go, release, step beyond.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for not being able to direct my thoughts, feelings, emotions, creating experiences within me by repeating what I find unpleasant in regarding to the definitions, experiences, memories to the word LOVE and wanting to understand, wanting to feel positive about it, wanting to change what has passed and believing that if I re-think, re-member, re-play the events what I've reacted to the most, then I would find a way to understand, to fulfill, to change or even let go the complete possession with the subject of my love what I wanted the most and never really questioning what I've defined as such attractive, why I wanted those values finding in another, feeling with another, defining having with another in fact within and as myself in the first place and what is the actual separation I've fallen into in and as my mind, defining as myself to not be able to stand myself here as whole, as complete, as fulfilled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go to such an extent in finding what is love to the point of wanting to literally die because of not being able to fulfill what I've defined as love and only within the moment of action for destroying myself realizing that this is absolutely exaggeration, false trail and yet not realizing what I was doing but simply going into the another direction of polarity and defining love, woman, relationship as worthless, absolutely unnecessary and falsehood trying to protect my wounded ego and trying to protect it from an other opportunity of vulnerability and giving up the previously obsessed idea of 'love' but only for it's opposite as the hate and vengeance and defining that energetic experience as powerful and strong and interesting, profound and within that never realizing that it was self-hatred, self-destruction I wanted to exert because of what I've accepted and allowed myself to give into and literally, physically become and not being able to stop yet fearing from letting go thus remaining the same exact slave of my own self-dishonesty in and as my mind played out by the polarity game of positive and negative and in fact not changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself stoic, bitter, realist, pragmatist, investigator, spotter and defining myself, my life, my living to the discovery of truth, because feeling completely fooled, deceived, enslaved and wanting to find a way from the trap of love and hate by realizing both of are not who I really am and wanting to go beyond, to let go, to reborn, change and with that strive by feeling disappointed within both love and hate wanting to find something or somebody outside of me what would be the solution, the truth, the power and justice I've always striven for and never could really feel, become and remain as and within that never realizing that all I was looking for within love, hate, wanting to step beyond polarity was always here, self, in and as my physical location, myself, breathing constantly in and out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my beingness, my source, my life, my substance with always wanting something or someone to influence, tell me, who I am, how I be equal as one with myself and all what is here and within that give into the temptation of the mind, the relationships defined outside of me, through energy, through thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, pictures, images to define love separated from me, thus not being able to be in connection, in relationship, in unification with myself here directly and always wanting to use something separated from me to be me.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that any anger, hate, vengeance, anxiety, confusion, depression I experience, feel, define, accept and allow is because of the relationships I accept to exist with separated from me, because of the self-accepted self-separation, self-dishonesty I accept within and as me and within that moment of giving and being the energy of anger, hate, vengeance, anxiety, confusion, depression I do not take responsibility for what I have allowed myself to be and become and the consequences of what I create with it not only for myself but others in my reality and in fact all and everything within this existence.

I forgive myself that I have not realized/seen/understood that when going into the moods, energies, feelings, emotions of negative, it is not self I feel, it is not directly my physical beingness within I take refugee, but separate relationships and energetic movements which is of conditions, circumstances and allowing to tell me who I am I give permission to not express myself directly but of and as this mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that going into the self-pity and hatred for positive is not the solution, and then going into the positive and definitions of love either and never realizing that these are the same mind manifestations, just the energy polarity is different, but exactly the same separation relationships from directly self here.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that falling into the mind to tell me what love is, how to love and what to love and feeling positive and negative, going energetically high and low - I am not existing as who I really am as beingness as physical life but of consciousness systems, personality rules and matrices, characters, what are programmed by others, by who walked on earth before me, by those who I've given permission to influence me in my life through words, images, sounds and never having an absolutely clear moment to realize that by these influences, I am abusing life, abusing my life source substance in and as the physical and because of not realizing it, continuing with it, even protecting it as it would be me, as I would be love as I would be real and never facing the fact that this is not life, this is not love, just a manifested consequence of fear, separation, dishonesty and not realizing that I should stop, I can stop and find practical ways to do it, no matter how difficult can be, how long it would take or what really I have to walk through to find myself here as life as source as substance.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that defining relationships, partnership according to past, memories, associations, feelings, emotions automatically is not myself directly, only what I've allowed myself to manifest through and as the mind which can be understood, stopped, forgiven and change to not participate again within self-honesty, within slowing down within, self-investigation, self-writing, self-intimacy and self-commitments to prepare myself actually, really, physically let go each and every single reaction, definition, judgement.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to acknowledge that there is hate within myself for what I've allowed myself to manifest in this world, within myself, and hiding this hate with positivity, with hope, with forgetfulness, with obsession, occupation, distraction and automatic personality patterns to keep my mind busy and stimulating and constantly moving and never stopping for seeing directly what is here in and as physical facts as what I actually do and manifest and being responsible for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted to worry and in fact fear to be with those who are defining themselves, their values, feelings, life as of and for love because from knowing myself also defining that they are lost, not seeing, deluding themselves and by judging them diverting my focus from self here within consistency to judgment, projection, blame and not realizing that everyone walks the same mind and my responsibility is my stopping for my reactions and live and all I can do is share and support when it is asked.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being influenced by those who are mesmerized by the energies of love because they do not know what they praise for and what they experience and not realizing that judging anyone, blaming anyone will not make solution, rather than first making sure I do not react, do not judge, do not waver, do not change and then express myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and wait for better times, for to be loved and not realizing that it is myself here who I do not love that is why the need for love in the first place occurs and not facing the fact within self-honesty why exactly this lack of love for myself and why and what exactly I mean on 'love' and what relationships, reactions I react with for the word, sound, letters of love.

to be continued with more memories, judgements to let go

[JTL 148] Need for fight and win part 1

Continuing on exploring the point of why I have defined virtualization as more important than living in physical reality for instance creating bubbles within I was able to control the outcome, which was my own mind, computer games, family members, school, workplace, friends etc while never considering humanity as a whole and all what is here equally.

Some of these bubbles had burst and I realized I was hiding behind personality definitions of the mind fuelled by thoughts, stimulated by automated reactions towards my reality as I am physically participating - many of these definitions are still here within and as me as I've never explored, stopped(aspects of myself as manifested self-dishonesty).
So it is common sense to explore and stop and see beyond the veil, to explore what is beyond living from my mind but directly, physically here.

As I've mentioned previously and will more and more: The physical is the superior(read God of Man, the Physical), not the mind consciousness, the real power is within and as the human physical body but we, humans are not HERE, always in the past, present, future, which are constructed by our thoughts, memories, pictures, reactions, fears, desires etc.

Even the 'now' is not HERE as ourselves, but the accumulated consequences of or acceptances and allowances of what we all have accepted ourselves to became as the current human system wherein most of the people are enslaved by financial status, by lack of life support, lack of proper education and giving them no chance to explore and enjoy life but fight and survive within pain most of the time.

The greatest power in existence is equality - without that - we are powerless and lost within manifested energetic systems directing us, just reacting to the physical(environment, nature, weather etc),  which then direct our reactions while we are lost within delusions of we are intelligent and the most superior things which is the greatest delusion but it is not enough to recognize, we must walk through our self-limitations one by one and find practical ways to manifest a human system which is best for all. Obviously we are the dumbest of all, even a snail or a sheep is much-much more aware than any human in terms of seeing the big picture beyond consciousness.
Check out EQAFE FREE Animal Interviews - this is not even funny, just listen through these series and consider what is being said in the message and learn and apply within Common sense and Self-honesty.
Until we do not realize how we created ourselves - we are who we are simply by all what we accept and allow - and that is certainly not unconditional love.

The amount of suffering and abuse happening on Earth in this very moment you read here would certainly make your own mind break for ever because it is not ready for embracing what is really here, so let us stick to the Process of Self-realization which can be walked breath by breath, moment by moment until we are able to deal with facts without being influenced by our own delusions of positive and negative polarities of our mind. So.

It is not enough to recognize the greatest potential(whatever we call it, god, life essence, buddha, krishna, whatever) within each other but we must become responsible and capable of understanding, changing our own creation practically, PHYSICALLY within the consideration of all equally. And that always starts with and as self here. Even if we experience ourselves as limited, shy, abused - step by step with the proper starting point and practical application we can change ourselves.

So back to my process for today...

I explore here today why I have the tendency to want to win, which is in short: fear. But am I free already of knowing that? No. I have programmed my physical beingness to automatically ensure the least fear, the least judgment of negative to experience, whatever is that for me without being aware of it, of the accepted consequences. As it is said, the devil is in the details and yes, each and every single detail I participate in my daily living is equally important - there are no divine moments(only in the mind), 'just' the accumulation the simple mathematical equation of 1+1=2. Breath by breath I live my life and that never comes back once is done so instead of regret and pity I rather explore practical ways to change - myself, here.

I use an aspect of myself what I participated within extensively: investigating my starting point, my attitude, my participation and let go which is Self-dishonesty.
So within the computer games I've played it is always about winning, finishing, fighting, dominating - it is common sense to ask why in the first place I defined myself as I need to win?

I pronounce that within my daily living it is not prominent, I might be seem as a nice guy, but as Joao Jesus sings: "Only I can change myself, Only I can breathe for myself."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself being dominated by the family within I've grown up because I could not do what I wanted, grownups did not trust me when I wanted to go against their orders what seemed limiting, frustrating, stupid therefore defining my situation so, in fact I was unable to live how I wanted, so I felt myself as defeated, enslaved what I wanted to overcome, win, dominate as equal as one as I've defined myself being lost, dominated and never realizing that this will not be the solution because I was so busy within reacting with negative emotions and positive feelings generated by continuous thinking which I've felt empowering as I've defined my thinking was not limited, nobody could control, dominate my thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself being dominated and ruled by the human world system, society, the monetary system because feeling that I can not do whatever I want or decide but always facing extreme limitations which I've gave permission to be frustrated by automatically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lost, losing within the participation of human world system, the political, monetary system within because feeling no power over the reality because for that I thought I would need to have power over other people, over lots of money and even over of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and define myself defeated by this world because not being able to direct myself whatever I decide always facing distraction, resistance and excuses and justifications from myself automatically which to I've gave in to tell me what to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself lost within my mind because not being able to stop and prevent thoughts which are the seeds of doubt and fear what grow to self-compromise and extreme self-limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define not winning as negative, defining myself as losing, therefore defining myself as negative and compounding that energetic experience making me react with anger and frustration which I've defined as negative, avoidable, not who I am therefore trying to balance out with whatever I've defined as positive energetic experience and not realizing that all is not physical-related.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always patch and stimulate my already experienced personality of myself to overcome and balance out attitudes, points, experiences within me to the point of experiencing neutrality and never realizing that within the polarities I am lost and limited by my own self-accepted definitions of who I am and how I must be.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that never questioning who I experience myself to be as certain experiences I have never explored to stop my personality, my characters directly but always trying to overcome, control, stimulate and equalize, neutralize points within me what bothered me such as impatience, frustration, desires.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to give into the world system within I've defined myself as inferior and defined the system as superior, more powerful than who I am therefore whatever I've participated within this world - I've always experienced that I am less than it - and within that not realizing that within facing experiences, I've defined myself inferior to experiences, defining myself who I am according to the personality definitions from my mind and never considering the reality of equality and oneness in relation to my human physical body and the whole physical existence here.

I forgive myself that I have not considered stopping, directly stopping myself within each moment participating within my personality, what I've defined I need to know what I have to do in order to survive, fight, rebel, escape from the human world system what I've judged as 'no justice' and 'hard life' and not realizing the bitter, sarcastic, stoic starting point towards everything I've participated within as a manifested result of self-defeat within the experience of energies of anger and frustration transformed into a depression hidden by simple smiles what most of the people did not realize, at times even myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent to the positive feelings and never realizing the truth of my negative emotions what I've balanced out with automatic judgements, reactions, behaviours, which I've defined then as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the self-automatism I've manifested and within the fear of losing it I've defined that I must protect it in order to survive in the system, in order to overcome my negative emotions, in order to remain stable to be able to participate within the human world system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from remaining within the experience of feeling dominated by forces what I do not direct therefore fearing from being what I experience because in fact not being able to stop reacting the same way to circumstances, events, people as reactions which is not the best for me as I experience friction, conflict which with I manifest emotions within me which I suppress or exert instead of prevent and remain here, expressive, considering all participants within my immediate and overall reality.

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I forgive myself that I have not being able to win, dominate within physical world, existence, so I've defined virtual winning in and as my mind, within computer games as the territory of my battlefield wherein I am able to feel, experience and explore winning, victory, dominate.
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on wanting to win and dominate on physical world, within human system, within human society because defining it as difficult, impossible for me therefore defining the experience of winning as more important than the actual winning, what I strive for to intensify and defining experience itself as more important than physical facts, more important than myself as defining experience as who I am and not realizing that by and as this starting point disregarding who I am really as the flesh of life here equal and one with all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing my want and desire to win, battle dominate forces within physical reality because of fear of consequences, fear of being exposed as evil, selfish, demon because then I've always accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself who I am according to what I experience and never realizing that experiences are not lasting, physical facts do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to internalize all my battles within myself not wanting anybody else to see how much I've defined myself as energetic wars within myself as negative and positive and overcharging, compounding energies I've defined myself to be in order to try to fight through the dimensions of myself within the thinking of I must fight through all my life within myself to emerge as winner as one person(ality) who I would become to start dealing with the physical world, which is already unified enough to continue my fight within the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as soldier, warrior, samurai, general in order to build up a personality to be able to fuel my reactions towards who I am is powerful enough to go to inner wars within myself wherein reactions to thoughts becoming positive feelings and negative emotions and wanting to just kill them all with an other, stronger energy and within that perception wanting to energize and supercharge myself with energies and never realizing that it is not supporting my human physical body, it is seeping of the life force from my cells and making my body age, decay and so within perceiving that intensifying the energetic reactions, thought obsessions to try to win the battles of myself as soon as possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as energetic being, and defining energies as myself, energy as who I am, and within that always becoming dependent on energy, without energy not being able to move, express myself and never realizing that this energy what I've defined is not physical, it is of and as the mind which is seeping off the physical life force from my human physical body which is always here, always breathing, always life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself energies, moods, thoughts, feelings, emotions to tell me what to do, who I am instead of being absolute direct expression here, always within consistency.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that consistency I was never able to experience, express because of the energetic movements coming and going, so the perception of experiencing myself always changing, always shifting, always going up and down and focusing to that and being occupied with that, reacting to that with another layer of thoughts, feelings, emotions I disregard what is here, I disregard physical reality here which to I have no power, no direction to because I am internalized, virtualised, layered myself into and as the mind which then triggers, stimulated my human physical body to move, behave, act according to the energetic reactions within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to win the energetic war within myself with dealing with negative and positive and using these polarities to neutralize, balance out, shift the already self-accepted, manifested energetic experiences within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have never considered stopping already experienced energetic movements within me which are positive or negative or balanced out not moving, but always giving myself the permission to accept these energetic experiences, reactions, thoughts, desires as who I am and wanting to change my perception, myself with another layer of energetic stimulations and never considering to face directly the layer what is beyond my conscious mind, beyond my awareness and becoming aware the patterns which through in fact I create each and every single moment of my life without being aware of it.

I forgive myself that I have never realized the common sense to stop the war, the battles within myself and considering what would mean to live within harmony, within unity with and as myself here in and as the physical, each moment equally.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that the obsession with winning within computer games is because it is also an internalized experience within my mind, so in fact always winning in the game I've reacted with the same reaction patterns as within my mind, therefore giving my mind an external platform, layer to experience and justify fight, domination which is a self-reflection what I did not realize.

It is crucial to recognize the points within what I've concluded my personality to accumulate to such a degree of not being able to stop myself reacting to experiences, not being able to realize that experience is just accumulation of past self-acceptance what I can stop by stopping myself, stopping my reactions towards points being accepted within me.
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Also noting that it is not about the games as within the shooter game I shoot enemies down in order to finish the story - as it is not about the game, it can be alright - but with what starting point I engage, for what result, reaction I participate can be aligned with the self-equalization, unification as seeing points when I go into judgment, separation, fear, anger, frustration and stopping that and when gaming and playing: no reaction, just direct expression.

As with and as myself - always accepting conflict, friction, reasoning, cons, pros - positive and negative - while reality is quickly moves and I am internally processing, battling, reacting and moment by moment missing potential, missing here. 

Within physical reality - direct expression, considering consequences of my actions, which seems to be overwhelming with thoughts, feelings, because it is so limited - but when I AM HERE - directly, as presence with no inner reaction, no backchat, no feeling, no emotion, no memory, no comparison - I can embrace all what is here and becoming much-much more fast and effective than within the mind to even be able to consider all what is here equally to ensure that all my actions are aligned with all life. Well this might seem impossible but that is because our starting point is the mind consciousness program, which is again: very limited, programmable, always about polarities and energy, feeling, mood, thoughts while reality is just what it is here.

Self correction

When and as I feel I need to fight, battle, I slow down within and I realize I am not here, I internalized the situation I'm in according to the starting point of fear, of judgments, of polarities.

When and as I have the energetic reaction to need to fight - I realize it is not about me winning or losing but seeing all participants here and considering what is best for all.

When and as I become obsessed with winning, with controlling, dominating, fighting, victory I realize I lost perspective and not seeing about what I overreacted anymore, only considering the need to win, no matter the cost, whatever it takes.

When and as I feel myself being dominated, defeated, lost I realize it is the perception, the judgment what makes me generate these negative reactions, emotions, thoughts with what I allowed myself to have the tendency to accumulate reactions to energize a personality within me to want to fight, dominate, win, so I slow down within, I become aware of the points within me, the fear from what I feel to lose, the definition of why I need to ensure not lose it and why fearing, in fact not trusting myself to be able to stand and remain here, directive without energy, without fight and I breathe and let it all go and explore my physical location here and re-align myself to remain here within self-trust.

When and as I engage into fight within losing perspective, but only 'listening to' this energetic urge to go against things, points, people, that I fear, I fear of not being able to live as I want - I realize that I must stop the energy as it is not me, only the accumulation of reacting with fear taking over, so I stop, I breathe, I feel the breath going into my nose, going down into my lungs, feeling my heart beat, feeling my physical presence and I stabilize myself here and consider facts.

I commit myself to stop fighting as it is the result of staring point of fear, which is of separation, which is of already given up on myself and judging myself and allowing myself to perceive myself as not being able to deal, direct my life but feeling threatened of being dominated and within that already feeling lost, defeated and needing to fight, so it is common sense and therefore I again: commit myself to stop fighting, I let all go and I embrace all what is here and live self-direction breath by breath.

I commit myself to stop fighting experiences within and as myself and considering stopping all layers of reactions, all feelings, all emotional energies and be able to consider what is here and deal with common sense.

I commit myself to share how to live without fight, how to let go the fear which is the starting point of fight, the self-judgment of being defeated, which is the accumulation of listening to thoughts which are only the inner reflection of our manifested acceptances what can be investigated, written out, walked through, forgiven and practically letting go one by one, moment by moment.

        to be continued with further exploring fights and battles, even going into some 'real life' examples when I lost my presence to re-align and prevent myself going into the judgments resulting the experience of fear which triggers the need for fight...

I suggest to check out this blog: "understand why we exist in such an extreme polarity of love and fear in our minds in relation to someone; and what are the consequences and solutions for such relationships and experiences we create within the Mind."

http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2014/02/love-and-fear-tug-of-war-day-483.html

[JTL 147] Positive and negative... part 3 - Correction II.

Within the last post I've written Self-corrective statements on how to prepare and script myself to let go the automatic judgment/definition/comparison within and as the polarity of the mind of positive and negative.

It is crucial to realize that 'intent' and 'understanding' here is not enough, because the human physical body itself has been already programmed to react automatically, so physical body presence awareness has to be developed with constant and consistent expanding on how one physically feels in order to even recognize the patterns being allowed oneself to participate within meanwhile slowing down inside to see each patterns and decompose within Self-honesty to see when I do have the starting point of FEAR.

Within physical reality - there is time and space what must be considered - even knowing is a con when one is not able to live it physically in all moments equally - for instance driving car or becoming effective salesman. In the physical moments constantly one must be able to be aware of the points and direct self meanwhile not fall into the energetic temptation of doubt, fear, limitations and there is no shortcut, no backdoor exists - even with all drug-enhanced experiences one must realize that experience versus physical reality must be seen through within absolute certainty.

Experiences come and go and can be stimulated by the already programmed human physical body to react - and to face those systems one must learn the practical tools to walk through.

Let's see one point from my last post:

When and as I experience doubt, uncertainty, worry, fear - I stop, I realize I go into self-definitions, I go into personality, I go into mind, thoughts, feelings so I direct myself to stop, stop for a moment and let all go and breathe, just breathe and embrace the physical presence and stabilizing myself here.

Within this if I trace back the 'doubt', 'uncertainty', 'worry', 'fear' - if I could see my entire life from when I've first participated within these - I would see the initial patterns of comparing my life currently with already accepted images/pictures, having the energetic experiences of positive/negative feelings/emotions and seeing each participation within comparison, judgment I've allowed in my mind to take place - and how it accumulated to giving permission to automatically compute/process/virtualise real physical events into experiences of negative/positive in order to survive/become effective in the system and by that compounding into a personality matrix, a fuzzy logic rulebook, wherein I allowed for instance worry about facing certain people, doing specific activities.

If we would be able to roll out all life's external events, physical experiences and internal mind-reactions in a timeline and walk through those within inner silence - we would be able to see how ridiculous what we allow ourselves to degrade into.

How even one thought, a specific feeling can accumulate into catastrophic life-events for ourselves or for others without understanding it.

But we do not see, we are unable to see our lives in such detailed overview - why? Because we are so fucking busy all the time our minds, with our surviving, with our pursuit of happiness, the polarity of the mind. Never believe anything - test it out, cross-reference, rely on it, is it really self, practical, supportive? No compromise, no half-measures - I am life or I am a programmed robot - seems radical, but within these times, within this human system - Radical Self-honesty is required to live.

All desires fucks up real self-expression 'here' - because for a desire to be developed - a lack first must arise what requires comparison, what requires fear - and by that one accumulates self-stimulation with thoughts/feelings/emotions - positive and negative - simple as that. Any desire is of fear - but to know that - I can not prove that for anyone.

One must investigate to realize - going deeper and deeper into self-defined acceptances, self-allowed accumulations is required - and specifically see the exact patterns how limiting those are and then giving oneself a new opportunity to let it go - to correct oneself and live without fear.

Also requiring a starting point for stabilize - otherwise the 'mind(which is our accumulated self-acceptances) will shoot more and more intensely with reactions, feelings, thoughts, energies until it gets one's attention and then participating within it, being influenced with it, being directed by and as it will be accumulated. The greatest stability point within our live is our human physical body, the flesh, which is always here, located in this reality, busy breathing all the time. This is our location, we can utilize this great opportunity to develop constant, consistent presence within it and stop all perceived separation from it - and become the body literally to act always immediately and without the inner judgment/comparison/separation.

It is crucial also to realize that one singular 'relationship' within our mind is enough to be enslaved completely by ourselves only.

For instance even a typical desire for 'a boyfriend to have/live with/start family/make kids/be happy' pattern can fuck one up to such a degree that starts to compromise LIVING MOMENT HERE by being obsessed with our mind's images/needs/expectations/desires.

So typical that many boys dream of beautifully shaped, cute faced kind women to have as wife and women dream of handsome rich gentlemen and when one is crushing down facing reality being in friction with one's mind - it is not so pleasant. And then one can let go the mind and see what is the best for all participants?

And when one starts to make compromises - is it still practical, what one can let go of desires and what still wants to have and not seeing that we have became such a screwed gods within our minds and have to land to earth and use common sense.

Many times our mind exactly suggest desires which can never be fulfilled - or even if so - by living it out one can realize - OMG WTF this is terrible then many times it is too late - manifested consequences remain.

These are the questions what has to be asked looking into the mirror when one is busy to see how reality goes, how abuse is being taken place every day in the human system being justified with the pursuit of happiness, just feeling good, deserving positive etc.

So when one is unable to sit down and ask these questions within Self-honesty - then one will go on with the 'program' what has been accumulated into the EGO personality which is possessing the living body to pursuit self-defined desires to be fulfilled.

After facing reality - one might have to go through the experience of loss and pain until realizes what are the real values, what is practical - but it is always common sense to self stops self than reality shows what is real by literally bursting all bubbles what seemed so real in our mind, imagination, desires, thinking, feeling.

So desires are just an example but when one is being possessed with ideas what are completely impractical and not supporting living and being in harmony with all others (which seems tricky in a cannibalistic capitalistic system already) one hears nothing else but one's own mind.

It may even seem 'practical' when justifying this self-limitation by stating that 'it helps to avoid failures/prevent ineffective/problematic experiences' because it seemed to be working once or more.

Or even to literally become the 'living' excuse that 'with compounding negative emotions about something/someone' one can use that frustration/anger/etc to stand up by being stimulated with that energetic experience, which is defined as 'I am angry'.

Meanwhile not seeing/realizing/understanding that this is exactly how robots are programmed - real robots, drones, even a rice cooking machine!

We can call it feelings and emotions are so human but is it worthy if we just skip seeing BILLIONS of sufferings? I am sure that I could program emotions and feelings into machines if I would have enormous amount of time, even programming them to use the excuse by this to call themselves as 'life'.

Study fuzzy logic, study how systems, how human mind works and let go all self-limitation which entails positive feelings and negative emotions as well.

It is absolutely possible to develop direct self-expression without any need of inner judgments, comparisons - how we could be so sure that we can not live without those if we have never even tried?

That is why this blog is here, that is why the all other 7 Years of Journey to Life blogs are here - to show that it is possible, not only showing, but sharing one's process how practically walking it.

So after a long introduction - let us walk some Self-commitments in regards to the previous self-commitment statements.

I commit myself to live the correction, the self-forgiveness, to stop myself, to change myself, to ensure that what I write, say I act so - and by that I empower myself, I trust myself, I will myself and I become the Living Word, meaning each word I live is supporting LIFE, not only of my life but ALL.

To stop the busy mind within, to let go the self-interest of pursuit for happiness one can realize that it was completely limiting for expressing a life not being limited by fear and when one is able to stop the mind - can start to see points, things within oneself what has never before - also in the system and starts to move really effective in the system.

I see on myself - as I've stopped eastern meditation and the acid therapies and started to write and say and live Self-forgiveness - I've expanded so much - I can live Clarity, Stability, Direction way more than ever imagined I could - I can stop obsessions, possessions, addictions, surreal desires and explore what is beyond my mind, actually others.

So I suggest everyone to make an inventory and question everything, every single bit of oneself and memories can not be trusted, even experiences because the human is the perfect organic robot and can feel, experience anything according to one's mind.

Self-commitments:

I commit myself to let go the addiction to always, constantly compare and judge and define things according to all my memories, knowledge, information I've ever gained and embrace all what is here and live directly here in and as the physical.

I commit myself to share with other humans the real power of the human is the Living Physical Flesh and as it is not understood, it's creation is not understood, it's function is not understood - the human is not understood, life is not understood.

I commit myself to walk a living example of how stopping the mind consciousness is possible and how I stop it and sharing it to assist and support myself and others with the opportunity to Birthing ourselves as Life from and as the Physical which has never occurred before because of the Consciousness Mind is the humans' starting point which without living is very possible.

I commit myself to constantly share that all what humans search and strive for within any spiritual and religious betterment of themselves is a great CON, meanwhile the real Life is being hijacked and degraded onto an energy source as consciousness can not exist without the physical and therefore the physical is in all way superior to any consciousness, any mind and the simple prove for that is what we call death as after death the mind dies, consciousness stops as the human flesh - each human's flesh, all's equally - falls apart to water and dust.

I commit myself to share my realizations how I was able to Hear the Desteni Message and start educating and re-mediating myself with the Study Material from the Desteni Portal, which is a living Example of how the Human physical body is LIFE without the Mind Consciousness System, fully operating, being effective and each and every day living, accumulating to what's best for all.

I commit myself to share all my realizations what I have explored through my life, through my experiments with drugs, spiritual agendas and how I came to the conclusion within Absolute Self-honesty that those do not support, do not assist me for transcending the Mind Consciousness System.

I commit myself to realize that anything positive or negative in my mind is self-stimulation for fulfilling something of self-definition therefore stopping and seeing behind the curtains is common sense to do.

I commit myself to Live the Self-forgiveness, Self-correction to let go the energetic addiction to thoughts, feelings, emotions and face all my fears while I stand on my two feet and become aware all the patterns I act which is not best for me, not best for all and find practical ways to STOP.

I commit myself to let go and prepare, script, support myself to break the habit of going virtual when facing difficult points and stabilize myself, as LIFE-AWARENESS in and as my human physical body within each breath to ensure not being CONned anymore by consciousness systems.

I commit myself to stop separating myself within my virtual mind by judgments, comparisons, positive and negative yet remain effective within the currently manifested human system by 'being in the system but not of the system'.

I commit myself to find practical ways to prevent myself accepting thoughts, slow down within myself to prevent suppression and express myself constantly, always, equally here in reality what I share with all other within each breath I take.

I commit myself to write all patterns I act and face within and as myself to understand and investigate and cross-reference to ensure that I keep only which is really good.

I commit myself to walk through Desteni I Process courses as the greatest assistance for facing and directing myself to let go of my self-limitations.

I commit myself to accumulate physical action which ensures the consciousness systems to let go and take responsibility for all physical life here.

[JTL 146] Positive and negative... part 2 - Correction I.

Continuing on

• [JTL 145] Positive and negative energetic delusions part 1  

with Self-corrective statements to stop the habit of going virtual.

I start with quoting from this blog link:

2012: Directions for Ascension – How to know you’re Ascending into the right Direction:

 "The “Religion of the Self” – this “Self” is what we’ve defined as ‘who we are’ in/as our Minds as the conglomeration of Personalities through which we live this “Self” and the protector and defender of all of one’s Personalities is the EGO which is the one that will rear its head in attacking anything/anyone that in any way represents a threat to having to change this “Self” in any way whatsoever."

 For more, read further at the blog, I continue with self-correction statements here:

 When and as I define my real physical living and having the starting point of the self-definition is how things are in reality and wanting to rely on definitions of who I am and how things are I STOP, I breathe, I trust myself to be here and re-align myself to apply common sense and letting go the fear of not knowing, the fear of failure, the fear of pain, the fear of myself, the fear of fear.

When and as I see that I think about something and having feelings, energetic reactions - I realize I am going into the past-created mind-personality which is in fact the EGO to protect my perceived self for surviving, for remaining who I've defined myself to be therefore I let it all go and I re-align myself to be here, be aware of the physical, the body, the senses, surroundings and the breath of my human physical body as myself.

When and as I experience doubt, uncertainty, worry, fear - I stop, I realize I go into self-definitions, I go into personality, I go into mind, thoughts, feelings so I direct myself to stop, stop for a moment and let all go and breathe, just breathe and embrace the physical presence and stabilizing myself here.

When and as I experience anxiety about what I do, what would happen, about interaction with others, using mass transit and facing thousands of people very closely - I realize that the reality is here and if I define it by thoughts, feel about what is here by energetic feelings as positive and negative - I am trying to superimpose the presence with the past wherein I gave permission to my virtual self to direct me so I literally stop for a moment and in one breath I re-align myself to focus to what is physically here.

When and as I worry and fear that without thinking, feeling, having emotions I am not able to be, operate, work, be effective, be a living human being - I realize that it is the worry, the fear what is blocking me in the moment to see that by exactly those what I fear to let go I am not able to fully be, operate, work, live to the utmost potential of who I can be with direct amalgamation of all what is here without the need of act of separation of thinking - so I stop, I stop, I stop until I am clear within and I act.

When and as I feel I can not trust in and as myself without thoughts, thinking, the little voice, the little me, the backchat, the silent whisperer, the god within me as the mind of inner reflection of myself - I realize this is the greatest con I've been subjected to by believing that with the inner separation I can be myself so I let it all go and explore what is beyond definitions, thoughts.

When and as I face difficulty to stop a thought-pattern within me what is re- and reoccurring and in any way whatsoever I miss moments directly here - I realize I do require self-investigation, self-forgiveness, self-correction and self-commitments to write, to voice, to act as equal as one to re-mediate myself from the energetic possession of my self-accepted limitations.

When and as I am using the act of separation by myself defining/judging and go into the action of defining/judging towards an apparently 'separate' subject of my definition - I realize about that I already allowed polarity separation of comparison by words to stand for me, tell me what is it and until I do not question, understand, stop that - I am unable to stand equal and one with the 'subject' of my definition, therefore I will be never whole with that point of myself, so I apply common sense, and I stop, stop defining, stop thinking, stop relying on past conclusions, I breathe, and I re-align myself to stand and act here undefined.

When and as I automatically feel myself in a way and I am unaware of all dimensions about it in myself, in physical reality - it is questionable, it can not be trusted, so I breathe, I apply common sense and let go the need for comparison, definition, feeling to tell me who I am.

When and as I feel like I am unable to do something without feeling, without positive feeling, without the starting point of stopping the negative feeling - I realize I am programmed and I am limited by circumstances what I do not direct therefore I stop acting by definition, I act with direct decision and self-trust within breathing presence physically.

When and as I feel like I am unable to direct my life, an aspect of my life, a social part of my life wherein I feel overwhelmed or pushed, suppressed or excluded - I realize it is the comparison within me what fucks up direct presence, direct power of myself here and I realize within writing about it I can support myself to see the points first and understand how I am accepting self-limitation which by I automatically allow being directed by forces and energies, events and circumstances to direct me, so I direct myself to sit down and write it out.

When and as I allow a thought that I to not have time, I do not need to write out the inner judgments, comparisons within - I realize it is also a self-accepted limitation within fear of change, fear of facing self, fear of not having enough time for myself so I realize - with this I actually give the time for myself to change and become more effective, start living.

When and as I feel like I am unable to move without positive energies, without being motivated by wanting to stop negative energies I realize I allowed myself to define myself according to energy, according to feelings, which to I've became addicted to and I do require to stop, to let go, to transcend within practically which starts with writing, self-correction, self-forgiveness, self-commitment and within living it out I see that I am able to let go the energetic dependency.

When and as I am not seeing why energetic reactions of positive and negative within my mind and body is self-delusion I realize that all energies have the source of 'PHYSICAL' here which is the body what requires to be supported by food, shelter, water, health care so in fact when I feel good - I rely on the physical support, without that I would not have power over my energies within myself who I've defined myself to be therefore I realize that those who has no access to proper food, shelter, water, health care are subjected to physical and energetic experiences what they can not direct, they can suffer from so the solution is to give what I want to receive within practically doing something to ensure that all gets it.

When and as I feel so fucking good I realize that it is because I have a position in the capitalistic system wherein I can nurture my body to experience myself good and within neglecting others who do not have such support in the system I actually say them 'fuck you' so I realize that it is not about myself but all equally and when I am feeling good because I neglect reality wherein all exists just as like me equally.

When and as I feel good when I do not have to worry and consider others, to take care fellow humans I realize that it is of self-definition, of fear, of energy of losing myself who I've defined myself to be as positive what with I defined I can not experience when facing reality what I've defined as negative therefore using excuses to why I do not ACT according to what is best not only for myself but others, then I realize I virtually created within and nurtured an image of self which is EGO what I commit myself to stop with the practical tools of Desteni I Process to be able to face all beings that I do not chose to say to them 'fuck you' but let go all what is not practical for manifesting what is best for all, at least on the physical level of food, shelter, education, health care, water, which is the first priority to really manifest live, love, compassion in this world.

I commit myself to LIVE the self-corrections I write, to find practical ways to become the words I write and say and act.
I commit myself to stop the comparison within my mind instead of trusting my whole beingness to be able to direct myself and take responsibility for all what is here.

to be continued

[JTL 116] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 3

Continuing on:

• [JTL 114] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 1
• [JTL 115] TV Series Mind Patterns Decomposition part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus only to experience of images and sounds and disregard physical presence, physical beingness, physical facts here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define film, movie, book, comics experience as interesting, more interesting than reality here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into polarity in terms of interesting and not interesting and comparing images and pictures on TV, movies with my physical life and defining images and my reactions towards images as more interesting than being here - and defining interesting as a goal, as a fascination, as a priority and not realizing it is a self-manipulation to pull myself from being here into the experience of the mind through picture, image stimulation based on already established, self-defined, self-accepted definitions of the mind through thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel separated from experience and defining experience as who I am and by that defining experience by my judgments, reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to positive experience and wanting to continue the experience of feeling positive without questioning what I am doing here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define experience of watching a story, a TV series as interesting and fascinating and defining my interest to explore, watch, experience, react more of this TV series experience and defining who I am according to this experience, this reaction to this 'TV series watching experience' and my reaction to 'TV series watching experience' and layer by layer physically programming myself to be this as action and reaction without questioning and applying common sense and consider the physical here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the mind and be the starting point of experience, the experience of TV series, the episodes, the depicted events and scenarios and defining myself as who I am according to how I react to these experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to know more of the story of the TV series so much that after an episode automatically wanting to see the next one within curiosity and defining it as entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define characters in TV series and Movies according to polarity, as positive and negative and identify myself with the experiences of these characters and reacting with feelings, thoughts, emotions towards these the same way as I allowed myself to react to real human beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to experience more about TV series, Movies characters who I've defined as fascinating, attractive, interesting, cool, brutal, groovy, smart or any label or definition I define them what I enjoy watching, reacting to.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize when I experience desire and fear when seeing events experienced by characters of films, movies and not realizing that by automatic reaction I am programming myself to behave the same way within similar real life circumstances and not considering the responsibility to stop myself when it is not the best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to live out suppressed desires by seeing and reacting to film, movie characters what they do and I wanted to try, do, experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe that seeing abusing, hurting, killing people, animals within films, movies is alright, normal and not realizing that it is influencing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to acknowledge that how I have been formed who I am today according to movies, films and never considering to investigate and being intimate with myself to explore who I've became by these definitions what is not LIFE, what is not really who I am as Life.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize the Self-honesty within stopping defining myself in relation to films, movies and never realizing the consequences of such influences within my real life events, experiences.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I react within through thoughts, feelings, emotions towards films, movies - I am within separation, judgment, which is the action of not being here, stopping being present, direct and live but use the mind to filter, process and influence, control me through the reactions based on my accepted self-dishonesty relationship with the point I judge, define based on: always: fear.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that when I am reacting within fear and allowing fear, programming fear through films, movies and not considering to stop, to not participate, to purify myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within watching TV series - the episode will wait if I do not continue right after one episode to watch the next one - and the only thing I am rushing to continue is to continue to have the experience of watching it, being lost in the experience of watching it, not wanting to be here, within presence, within consideration of facts of who I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically want to continue an experience of TV series until there are episodes and until I can continue and not realizing that within the experience I am not after the story but the experience of not being here but within constant reaction.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that real priorities are here within and as the physical and to disregard that already indicates that I have formed and programmed myself in relation to experience which is the result of judgment, polarity, fear without being aware of it therefore not questioning it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the pattern within wanting to rush into an experience to just going through it to be 'free of it' and not realizing that after the experience is gone - I am still here with the relationship with the experience and by that inducing and creating a lack, a feeling, missing something what I automatically want to fulfill based on my past, based on self-acceptance, self-definition.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to slow down within watching TV series, Movies and see what I experience and why and be able to question and stop.

to be continued

[JTL 18] Decomposing why defining people according to my interest part 1

Continuing on decomposing my relationships within and as me as self-judgments towards people who with I am automatically react according to how I've judged myself and them in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the people I am surrounded with because from who I get reflection about me is I allowed myself to define as me from the eye of them and believing that is me and without them I do not see myself as I want to or not want to as polarity system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be with people who are kind to me and never questioning why they are kind in general or with me specifically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define certain people as avoidable because they judge me in a way what I judge as negative what I do not want to face, what I do not want to be aware of because they keep saying something to me what might be true or what might be right from the perspective of physical reality facts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define people around me as special and unique because this is the way I've judged them at a point and since there never questioning this judgment within and as me what makes me move automatically regarding to the relationship with words about these individuals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as kind and open with people because the way I've accepted myself to emerge since childhood I've defined myself as introverted and serious and by judging myself with the absolute opposite I think/believe/hope that how I judge myself in the moment is how really I am/I become and not realizing the polarity system as positive and negative and as long as I participate within one edge of the polarity swing - I am always in relationship with the other edge of the polarity and by that I am always conditioned by the original self-judgment projected towards the perceived 'myself' and the perceived 'others' what is not exactly as what I or them actually doing within and as the physical what is the unquestionably measurable fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from defining somebody as value or important to me and then not being in contact with the person because my self-definition value system is only becoming alive so to speak when I am in interaction with these self-judged people - or when I am thinking about them regarding to the judgments I've projected towards them within and as my mind apparently as them but in physical I am simply daydreaming what creates a gap between physical facts and my perception and by that the more I participate within the judgment - the more the change I will expect and by that the disappointment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define certain specific people as 'waking up' or 'awakened' or 'enlightened' because their self-interest of seeking after really-really reality and never questioning my self-judgment once I've made it towards them and not realizing that as long as I separate people within and as my from me as equal as one as myself by judgments apparently separated from me - I am responsible for not being able to directly experience them as myself therefore the specific words with I've judged these individuals will determine the nature of the outcome of the physical relationship with them when we meet without me being aware of how this entails and how I've actually created the relationship based on self-judgment projected towards them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define some people around me as funny and then not realizing that in fact my thoughts towards them I've defined as funny and projecting and sealing them with the 'funnyness' because that I've defined required from them and in fact determining the upcoming self-accepted judgments towards them by the inception of my self-dishonesty of defining them somehow according to a self-judgment projected towards them and then accepting this as myself and never ever questioning this anymore except when I make different judgments towards them and then for instance saying 'not funny today' or 'not funny anymore' and then not realizing the polarity within me and then not realizing why and how I automatically react towards them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from myself alone I remain only with my self-judgments towards myself what I've defined as 'negative' and 'not good enough' because how I acted I could not accept without judgments - and by the judgments I've faced myself as the way 'I do not like myself' and therefore I've seeked people who with I could manage to being defined as the opposite - and not realizing that within this polarity system I've carved myself into 'not really changing' because I've defined changing as going into a direction within this polarity system for instance towards positive or negative and as I've started to move within my mind towards the polarities - the self-definition system within and as me started to fall apart because then I could not define myself as I used to and that scared the shit out of me therefore I reacted with fear and in fact I never really changed physically, only within layers of self-judgments and excuses and justifications.

When and as I define somebody as good or bad - negative or positive - or kind or rude - I realize it is a self-reflection within and as me according to my already self-defined personality system of layers of self-definitions within the starting point of not trusting myself physically here as who I am without any thoughts, feelings, emotions - therefore I stop, I breathe, I let go as I participate within any polarity regarding to people.

When and as I participate within judgments towards people - I realize it is a self-judgment-projection what I can understand and explore if I reflect it back to and as myself as who I am as mind consciousness system suppressing physical breathing life.

I commit myself to drop the veil of all personalities because I've realized all those contain as self-judgments - within relationship towards another self-judgments and compartmentalize and seclude my self-accepted automatic reactions within specific physical circumstances.

I commit myself to slow down inside as breathing here as physical presence to be able to realize when and how and why I participate within any self-judgments - towards myself and towards others as well because it is clear that I do self-judgment as self-dishonesty because I could not trust myself eternally unconditionally here.

I commit myself to stop fighting inner reactions, thoughts, because it is the internal feedback system showing me equal and one what I've accepted and allowed myself to become and the solution is not be unattached, not suppressing, not occupying myself but to writing all out and forgiving myself, re-aligning myself and committing myself and re-scripting myself to physically change.

Walk Journey to Life as yourself - physical change is possible within Self-honesty!

Self forgiveness on energy, consistency

Energy, defining 'woman-like' energy based on self-judgments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that woman has longer energy cycles than men.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define somebody according to his/her gender.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define women as they have longer cycles because of menstruation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself energetically as a woman.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to gender.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist to recognize that I have allowed myself to define myself according to genders.
---
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry to the computer when something is not works like I imagined or preferred - instead of realizing that by knowing the system I can embrace it and direct it as myself but if I judge it - I am separated from it and I am being directed by this point of separation as my self-accepted self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am accepting myself as anger at the moment when I exert it onto things, people instead of realizing that if I do not participate - it is not here as it is not real but if I move according to anger - I am of it.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my anger towards to the computer is in fact an anger towards myself - but if I do not realize this - I am not able to stop it as i am occupied with the computer instead of looking into myself and see the core of the anger of myself.
----
Fear from not I am not being good enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not being good enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from others might say or think that I am not good enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from making mistakes, because I defined mistake as bad.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being judged as bad because then I would think or perceive myself as unworthy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being judged as unworthy.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to exist without definition.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I am defining - I am of and as the past what is not real here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to moments when I judged myself as I am not good enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to the event that when I was a little kid and my mother sent me into choir and after the first session, the teacher told me that 'you should not need to come next time' and then I've defined myself as not good enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from being not good enough because then I might not be needed for anybody.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be needed by others instead of being myself as who I am as Life, regardless of anybody or anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act according to prove that I am good enough for others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act according to proving that I am good enough for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I would judge myself as good enough, I could be a better man.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to become a better man because as who I am here, I've defined myself as bad.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from people's judgement as 'bad'.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that if I act according to polarity of good/bad - I am of this polarity equation, I am limited to this polarity system, I am of this system, who and how I act is of this self-accepted self-definition system.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I am accepting myself according to polarity manifestations such as good and bad - I can not comprehend what is physically here because I am participating, I am expressing through and as and within a system what is not physical, what is not here, what is not consistent, what is not best for all.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if my principle is not 'what is best for all' - then I am of self-definition system by participating within definitions what I reacted to within the past by self-accepted self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my expression according to any memories.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'not good enough' based on expectations.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'not good enough' based on judgments.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'not good enough' based on fears.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'not good enough' based on beliefs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that 'I am not good enough' instead of realizing that I am using self-definitions to compare myself with self-accepted definitions, what are in fact based on specific self-dishonesty points.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize how I do participate within the self-definition of 'I am not good enough', instead of being absolutely self-honest with myself and seeing what self-dishonesty I've accepted and become within myself and then realizing how and why I participate within such a self-delusion.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I compare myself to anything according to judgments about things - I am of definitions, I am of memories, I am of dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I participate within such a statement, as 'I am not good enough' - I am participating within a polarity system, based on positive and negative - as 'good' and 'bad' - and within this system - I am limited of this polarity system.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I act within self-definition based on judging myself according to 'good and bad' - I am of the mind, I am of the self-definitions, I am of dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others according to polarity-based value systems, such as 'good and bad' - instead of realizing that within participation of polarity of the mind - I am limited to self-definitions.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I accept such a judgment within myself as 'I am not good enough in zzz' - then I have self-definitions accepted and 'lived' as system within myself as self-dishonesty according to 'zzz' - for instance writing music.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I experience such a reaction within me as inner reaction(thoughts) or outer reaction(spoken words) - then I must realize the subject of this judgment and seeing what preconditions I've limited myself into and as and I forgive those as letting go and stopping to participate within to let go any definitions of the mind unconditionally.


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Fear from not having enough time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I do not have enough time instead of realizing that if I separate myself from time - I am not aware of it as myself but of and as judgments.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that 'not having enough time' is self-dishonesty as time in physical reality is not relevant as it can not be touched.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I define myself as 'I do not have enough time' when I participate within a polarity system where I judge my acts according to self-definitions such as 'useful' and 'unuseful'.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to direct myself as Self-Will all ways here, but I am being directed by influences by the senses, as I am being directed and influenced by impulses through manifesting self-definitions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to specific activities and if I do not 'act out' these activities - then I define myself that I am not myself - instead of realizing that this self-defined depiction, based on self-definitions is of the mind.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I define parts of myself as more important than other parts of myself for instance in a moment I define sexual activities as not important because I defined other activities as more important, for instance doing my job - and by that I am acting according to definitions.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I do suppress sexual activities because I do not have time for this - then this activity, what I suppress - will compound energetically - and this energetic compound will be exerted in a moment when I am not directing myself as myself as presence as breath as physical.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I am suppressing any part of myself - I am compromising equality within myself and by the principle as oneness and equality - the suppression will be equalized by systematic energetic charge-ups and discharges regardless of my will.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I am possessed with a specific type of expression - I am not myself but of system of self-definition-based act without I am being aware of the why and how and in fact it may occur that I am unable to stop it as it is 'being expressed' when I am not here as the directive principle as Self.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that if I define for instance computer gaming as 'complete waste of time' - yet I've defined myself according to computer gaming - I manifest suppression of 'wanting to play computer games according to self-definition' - and when this suppression is getting too much - it will take over regardless of my actual 'conscious decisions' of time management of my day and I will be 'possessed to play out' computer games according to self-accepted self-definitions - and physically manifesting the playing computer game continuously - regardless of my Location as current responsibilities - and by that - at the end of the day - I will experience this 'not having enough time'.

Instead of realizing - that looking into myself at the moment and deciding to give specific recurring timeframe for instance for computer gaming for 2x2 hours a week and then I will not suppress it and it will not grow inside - and I will be able to assist myself to not being lost within time by suppressing and exerting self-definition-based expressions to stabilize myself for a moment until I can stop self-definition-based programmed expressions.
The same goes with all activities, for instance at the moment: music, sex with my partner etc.

When I do say - I do not have enough time - I am not present within moments and then I am unable to direct myself to act according to my decisions to do my activities - then I experience that I do not have enough time, then after some 'self-defining of I do not have enough time' - I define myself consciously as 'I do not have enough time' - but then I experience this frustration that I can not do what I decided to do so - and I am not the directive principle to be able to 'give time' - then I resonantly start to fear from not having enough time - and participating within this system - I am not consistent but fighting against time, fighting against myself and this is unacceptable.
I stop define myself according to time or lack of time.
I am here - I direct myself - and what is here physically is who I am - what is here right in front of my nose - this is who I am - this is what I take on without defining it - without defining it separated from me.
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Fear from not having the tools what require for the specific expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not having the tools what are required for specific expressions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself according to my definitions of requirement for doing specific tools instead of realizing that I can always support myself with the basic tools of writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application - to realize what obsticles I've manifested and accepted within and as my reality.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within the past I've defined myself as 'I do not have tools to express myself according to what I want' - and for releasing this fear - I've participated extensively within the current money system to be able to support myself and I did - and at this moment the tools are here with me - as my reality - and I've accepted and allowed myself to remain within this self-definition - without realizing that I've changed and the tools are here already, so redefining myself who I am is required regardless of the tools what I have as the starting point of myself is always myself standing here instead of defining my starting point according to physical tools and by that limiting myself extensively.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the tools what I've defined as 'required' to express myself - I can access, I can support myself to express myself - this is at the moment physical fact, so I am releasing this self-definition, that 'I fear that I do not have the tools to support and express myself'.

I am releasing and letting go this self-definition that I do not have the tools to support myself and in fact using what is here as myself without separation is the way to express myself.