[JTL 163] Mystical Drug Experiences are like Ant inspecting a Lamborghini

Desteni Artists - Ant Inspecting Lamborghini by Bernard Poolman (picture is link)

I dare to question the drug-induced holy/mystical/oneness/bliss/enlightenment/god-experiences.

Question Everything

• Are they really relevant experiences or those are just the mind's play, an other level of enslavement?
• Do the people had experienced these really are able to apply this within their life and become more whole/effective/supportive for themselves and others?
• If we are absolutely self-honest and question these experiences, are we capable of really-really trust in these experiences?
• Do we really need to take mind-blowing drugs to figure out what would be the ACTION OF WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL?
• Isn't the utmost divine/god-like/enlightened act to accumulate physical consequences towards what is best for all?
• What is blocking individual human beings and humanity as a whole to simply consider the fact that what is best for all is what is best for the one?
• What is actually blocking to use our brain/imagination/logical mind to realize what must be done in order to manifest in this physical system what is best for ourselves and all others?
• Do we really need drugs to shatter/explode/intensify/zoom/effect our mind to consider what direction we should change in order to become a better/more effective/more practical person?
• What is really better for individuals and humanity as a group altogether than do we have currently?
• What do we really experience during mind-blowing drug experiences?
• Why do we really believe what we experience as divine/god-like/mystical/enlightened?
• What is the point what should be considered to use common sense and see beyond our experiences and consider facts and practical solutions?
• What are the current excuses do we have for not being able to figure out what is really here and claiming we need to blow our mind in order to see beyond our accepted limitations?

These are just introductory questions, I mean - to question everything should not be a question because until I am on a quest for what is truth - I am not here, I am amazed in the journey through a maze of consciousness experiences in my mind while I am separated from what is really here as truth as this physical reality, Earth, ground, animals, plants, dirt, air, other humans and lot's of manifested consequences what are already proven not to be best for all what must be addressed with common sense to sort out.

Some people do use mind-blowing drugs to experience 'beyond the veil' and some claim for this life-changing experiences.

Here is the interview with Bernard Poolman about drugs.

"What is being accessed during the use of drugs is the mind, on become more aware of either a segment or a more complete picture of the mind. Obviously many then claim that they had a divine experience and they have become more knowledgeable, even wise and they have experienced oneness, they have touched god, all kinds of stuff.
I have a really sad news for you because to give you a context of your experience what you are actually seeing is to look at
An ant inspecting a Lamborghini. For the ant the Lamborghini look amazing and out of this world but even in this world the Lamborghini is completely irrelevant. Your experience is completely irrelevant. Your oneness experience is simply you're becoming aware of that you are part of a system that controls you within which you do not exist at all. Nothing what is experienced while on drugs is real. And as I mentioned you will give me many excuses and wonderful things because apparently their experience was something divine. It isn't. It's just your mind.
Now if your mind is to such an extent superior to you and you are mostly unable to actually contain, direct or orchestrate or connect or map your own thoughts, ~nevermind your memories, you can't even remember what happened during your life? How can you trust any of your perceptional insights? How can you trust any of the knowledge you hide behind? How can you trust anything that you are experiencing?
Careful! Delusion! Delusion! Delusion! Illusion! Illusion. The word illusion is very specific. It says you are losing. You'll lose yourself completely. And there is no divine spark waiting, there is no great merging with the great spirit waiting. It was all a lie. Time to take your hands out of the pocket and to start to find way to sort out this reality because you are here as the result of the sins of your fathers.
What you are busy doing is creating the future of your children. You are responsible as your fathers and great-fathers and forefathers were responsible.
Time to take responsibility..."

My experiences

I've had - really had - countless of experiences on various drugs, mostly with what are referred as 'psychedelics' - from smal spliffs to horrendous dosages for surreal trips and everything I've experienced was just an experience - not reality.

I've SEEN things, I've seen through levels of consciousness systems, I've seen dimensions, worlds, constructs many and many-many more - but honestly, in the current life I live on Earth, in this body, how these contribute for the problems I face in terms of finding practical solutions? In no way whatsoever. All I've realized was that it's all perception, it's all illusion what I perceive but that does not mean this reality is an illusion.
The experience is what with we relate and then reacting to experience we are being stimulated by- drugs are only catalyzers only.

Just like those mainstream hollywood action flicks wherein hundreds of people are working hard for a year on visualizing and sounding the screenplay perfectly and then starting the production by artistic camera moves towards the movie's peak moment where the hero says something apparently relevant message like 'you have to love yourself' or 'family first' with emotion-tweaking music and oversaturated visuals and you might have wet eyes and a tiny automated nodding and then the movie continues with destructive car chasing, bloody shooting rage and nonsensical fistfight between the ultimate good and evil and then the winner hugs his model-like half-plastic masked babe and pans away with a kiss in the sunset hearing groovy music.

Not a bad analogy if I see that tripping on drugs takes soooooo much time while we are entertained within our mind, not being really here, not being able to take full responsibility, not even be able to walk through traffic or even speak properly - but we can see like Van Gogh's paintings or watch plants as breathing and glowing fractals and see our thinking like cartoon's bubbles falling apart, explode or dissolve while connect with the music completely and experience intensity and bliss - but meanwhile we should not drive as we are so flying high we are completely off-track from phyisical reality and it feels so more real, more free that we'd want to stay in wonderland for ever.

I am here questioning the divinity of drug experiences.

I have walked this path for several years with manifesting myself as the character as an eraserhead and I've mastered the art of making habit of myself being completely off-here, automated, ignorant and absolutely acceptive for all the problems in this world, the full self-acceptance of being a self who is not real in and as this enslavement of consciousness system which apparently means being human entails of on individual and humanity as a whole.

The intent was good - to get free, to go beyond my limitations, to see new perspectives, to transcend, to be able to help others - yet what I've manifested through the personalities I've became with the so called mystical experiences was not freedom at all but self-delusion and my life proven absolutely not working.

I was kind of hectic within that, I always had the tendency to be radical so to speak within ensuring doing things what I do with full of my beingness if I could - so within the quest in searching the truth I've put on all my cards to spiritual and psychedelic practices for quite some years.

What I have found that people do not really commit themselves for what they want for instance some do buddhist meditation and tries to apply it's sort of principles . It suggests to put aside alcohol and drugs or do the practices every day for progression and apply several symbolism into their living such as always discouraging the ego and self-interest, thoughts, emotions, desire while what people mostly ending up doing is standing on several principle-feets/columns, meaning 'keeping their old life' what is being used as justification why not fully applying the 'practice's principles'.

That is why for instance in Jesus teachings there is this 'leave your parents' - give up all who you were before otherwise you will remain the same even when you try to apply new paradigms for your living standards - first empty the cup before filling up with new stuff...
And it obviously does not mean give your parents the finger and let them rot without ever wanting to see them as it would oppose the 'give as you would like to receive' - but to leave your parent's point of views, starting points, philosophical codes and start from scratches finding out what is your real truth of who you are and what you do and more importantly: what you want to become.

For me this was a bit easy as I came from a family wherein I've seen the lower-end side of living, the poor family in the village, I've seen killing animals daily from kittens to horses and family members arguing and fighting drunk almost every day and the patterns I've soaked into my beingness as living was not really practical but theatrically reactive, in my mind quite radioactive, meaning not really being able to enjoy myself or have stability to be able to deal with reality and solve my psychological issues such as being blaming, shameful, suppressive, energy-addicted daydreaming, procrastinating boy and the only luck I've had that was able to deal with science and computers and also my will to want to become more than I've experienced myself to be, mostly taken from books and movies because the patterns I've seen as 'who I am' was not satisfying, but more frustrating, chaining so the need for changing myself, my reality was not really a choice but more like act of surviving.

So for that - I was eager to fully blow my mind with drugs and actively trying out several spiritual practices while I was totally ready to give up everything I consisted of - except my strongest desires such as beautiful women, money and maybe some sort of fame and lots of power(defined mostly by the other desires) - which by my way proven to be very difficult but I quite soon realized this is why I am born, not for half-solutions, so I just do it and kind of never see back or look more forward while trying to erase my old personalities which already proven as not cool because suppressions, doubt, petrifying fears and burning, reality-blurring desires.

I've had my alcohol moments at university - it was like inhibiting the inhibition system within my mind - so I was able to express myself and talk! but after some years my body was like 'why you killing me?' and also all I've noticed that I did not really change who I was then if I allowed myself to get loose - I was just reckless and more like an unchained abused little wild animal who just raged around wrecking and laughing what did not seem right and also my father and many family members already walked this path and I've seen directly what alcohol really do with people's mind and body which was a no-go quite soon. I had this stomach-acid problem by always swallowing my reactions to remain apparently calm and combining that with lots of wine, shots, so when I finished university I had ulcer which was really hellish and completely blocked my ability to enjoy any given hour in my life so I lost my interest with alcohol when I started to smoke weed, which gave 'strange experience' while kind of I saw myself echoing in my mind and I calmed down with it.

Then I was surprised when I was high for the first time with acid - it was like smoking but 1000 times stronger - and it was still not enough so I wanted it again and the second time was a sort of white light experience, like a reset on computer - I've experienced silence, quietness, I was unable to define and I was dead and yet I was walking around so it seemed quite alive-like. This life-style has been sucked me into it's scenes quite deeply and I was learning how to not freak out while melting my mind completely.

There were aspects what kind of proven to be supportive, to be able to adapt the fast-changing mind-sets, external settings, the madness, the constant uncertainty of this changing world within and without - but in overall with this I was unable to work with physical reality effectively, only for a period of time of letting go was cool but then I've defined letting go, chaos and destruction within as who I am and then I've became it, I've became addicted to remaining who I've defined myself to be in order to perceive who I am to what I wanted to be while in reality from time to time accumulating hitting rock bottom and then realizing I was not here and missed some relevant points from what I've made mistakes and manifested irreversible consequences and losing everything again and again and again.

So for the so called divine and mystical experiences wherein one feels the touch of god and the oneness, the matrix, the beauty of the system: it is very important to question everything, especially the positive reactions within ourselves. I've explored this scene sooooooo much, I remember the weirdest experiences, changing visions, walking in mandala-fields, seeing everyone as myself literally, seeing the inner demon within everybody, seeing the layers of the minds, bodies or seeing energies, codes, fractals, ocean-like flowing of visuals, mercury-like people-groups flowing, siddhas, buddhas, aspects, bardo, ghosts, fairies, astral projection, obe, hypnosis, countless of white light experiences, ecstatic moments, body-switch, shamanic, tantric, krishna, jesus, buddha-experiences, whatever, YOU NAME IT, probably I've experienced - it's kind of groovy - but when I am for the real truth, nothing but the truth of myself, of reality, of facts, of everything - I can easily say this is nothing compared to Self-honest Living Here in Every Moment, only distraction, mesmerizing obsession to hide behind.
These experiences surely gave me perspectives, memories, references for what I am capable with the mind, even for moments without the mind - but after all I've proven myself - to myself and even others - that I was not directing, I was just 'free-riding' and I was reactive, automatic and picked up quite some quite schizophrenic, mind-splitting, megalomaniac convictions which with all I did was protecting my own interest to not needing to REALLY change, even by giving up these experiences completely.

System perspective

This is a very relevant topic to talk about as the world system consciousness is (constantly) evolving the idea of virtualization in the mind trying to promote experience instead of facts and solutions for all (as the machine-like manifested consequence-reflection of ourselves as equal as one) and what is spreading is to blow the mind as human right with those legalization campaigns for dope and other psychedelic, enteogenic drugs while almost half of the planet has no got no human right to have food, shelter, water, health care and education so within looking at priorities, the concept of equality is quite toxic when all the western people are thinking equality as the right to be openly gay, blowing mind with drugs and also have the right to march publicly, to live in secrecy, privacy and even now becoming to demand basic income while in overall looking the humanity as a whole we do not give that to all country while justifying it with manifested separation by definition of countries, religions, cultures, opinions so it is so fucked up if we start to investigate it with common sense, sober mind...but mostly we are always ready for an other fascinating experience to explore more while facts and manifested consequences accumulate.

I am not against the decriminalization personally as in my perspective it is absolutely exaggeration and unfair to go to jail because one is blowing mind with substances, unless manifesting brutal consequences - especially while many anti-life pro-war-public figure criminals are walking freely on Earth - it is also the question of what do we really have right to do by the law, by morality, by consideration of all participants.

One more thing I point out here is that it is also quite unequal for instance when the big promoter of weed Snoop Dogg is being caught with a pillow-sized quantity of dope at an airport, he just pays some thousands of fine and gets front coverage with his fox-like smile on it saying "Life is cool, bro, do it too!" while if some street kids are being caught with some spliffs they literally hit rock bottom in the jail judging them as the nastiest evil so it is quite a controversial topic.

Also I am aware of the the researches at MAPS and other 'multidisciplinary' psychedelic therapeutic groups for instance for war veterans with PTSD and with MDMA and Psylocybin they have some result for sure - but these wrecked humans(coming home from hell of Iraq, Afghan or Somali etc wars) are so much screwed up by directly facing real reality of the demonic nature of mankind within which they literally torture and abuse and kill each other, I mean human killing human is like brother killing sister, not much different, especially when we investigate the causes for wars and realize that is mostly by corporate greed for profit and not even ideology or moral reasons - that is only the media propaganda to catalyze the human mind's emotions -  these soldiers are really deserve therapies what can lesser their fuckedup-ness of their severed mind and beingness to stop living in constant horror - for which drugs - with supportive, so to speak controlled environment - they can re-visit the trauma experiences and revive from the dreadful physical shock they've been programmed to exist.
I am sure that if those therapies would embrace and introduce supporting with Self-forgiveness, Self-honesty, Writing, they would result with much more effectiveness as I have used that too to support myself from stopping extreme paranoia with the assistance of Desteni Forum and Desteni I Process course.

Mystical experiences

Let's look back at the point of 'divine', 'mystical', 'holy' experiences which I've realized as a complete delusion, illusion, not being true at all but our perception through still remaining in and as our owned (or being owned by) mind system making us believe we are reaching out while all what happens is that we are being blinded by the bars of our mind-cage shining bright with the effect of the drug over saturating, melting and liquifying our already existing separation from reality within exponential exaggeration.

Such as within the quoted Bernard Poolman's interview - people will give many excuses and justifications of how those experiences are resulting them becoming more knowledge-able, wise etc however it should be common sense that if we do not practically become more responsible and actually be able to do for what is best for all with any experience then it is not worth a moment to even talk about.

Whatever is 'divine' - it means separated - polarity - it's like in the Orwell's Animal farm - "all animals are equal, but there are more equals" - just like in our manifested human system with it's blood, the money system - just like we define our moments sliced in time, judged by quality, positive or negative which is always only comes from self-interest. Self-interest indeed, even when we 'think about others first' it is about ourselves one layer deeper and when it comes down to Earth and the only acceptable solution obviously should be about really changing who we are according to what is best for all.

I really like the music for instance of Shpongle but what they speak about 'Divine Moments of Truth' referring to Dimetyl Triptamin enteogenic drug which with one can see through the veil and realize what is going on is questionable.

I mean, everything is questionable with common sense! Even questioning our questioning and I am not kidding - nothing in this world is what it seems and we want absolute self-realization we can not trust anything! Especially what comes from our perception as it has been formed, shaped from the first breath we've born here by forces outside of us therefore if we want to aim absolute realization from where we will not fall from time to time - we should get to the bottom of all things with practical, physically measurable Self-honesty with the tools of Self-forgiveness, Self-honesty, Writing, group support, etc

Even people refer to DMT that it is produced in the body, the mind, whatever they say to justify that what they experience is more real than our physical world - for me it is irrelevant if I can not become more practical for what is best for all in this human system. And be mind-blowing musician, promoting mind-blowing drugs will really solve the economic/environmental/educational issues and manifest a system for ensuring to prevent poverty/war/child-abuse/slavery/destroying ecology?

What is best for all is not a mystical term - it is something what can be considered by the 'give as you would like to receive' and 'love thy neighbor as thyself' principles. Food, shelter, water, education, health care is what we want for ourselves, so then seeing facts - currently it is not given to all - so first of all, this would be the best for all, that's simple, no need a trip to the Mars to see this through...

Also the musician from Shpongle(this is very popular in the mind-blowing scene and many does similarly quoting drug-experiences by psychonaut foes) has an other song called 'Mystical experiences' - which I really like as music but the message is the same: there are experiences which through one can experience great oneness, a world beyond which is more divine.

I agree with the need for deeper understanding what people grasp of this reality, I really do, which for religions and even science can not really stand for as those are more easily questionable because science is more and more becoming the tool and fuel for more corporate greed for profit and religions mostly point attention towards obedience and beyond death and asking for divine mercy while being comfortable with even child-woman-abuse and holy wars and the media is selling consumer materialism big time which also bulks in environmental and all living creature's abuse and aimless reproduction on mind- and physical level so people are hunger for real answers within the era of complete brainwashing thus trying to come up with more and more extreme methods to shake off the chains of our own enslavement.

The era of modern shamans, yogis, tantrikas, mind-revolutionists, psychonauts new-agen, spiritual and consciousness entrepreneurs has come wherein conviction of freedom is always at our fingertips to trip into the world of divine, mystical, profound, blissful spirit world of our true nature with various chemical substances.

I am deeply sorry but I humbly disagree. And I repeat - I've had these experiences, so vivid, so mesmerizing, so deep, so detailed that many currently I can not even describe and I've even enjoyed it, it was really like space-travel with the speed of light, but if it comes to Self-realization, Self-honesty towards practical solutions I clearly state that it was just the dimensions of Mind Consciousness System - not life, not really real.

For fun, artistic influences, sort of self-therapy, psychological-self-evaluation and acknowledging the extent of my own mind systems within which I exist as my own self-accepted enslavement for working with the tools of Self-forgiveness, Self-investigation it can be supportive for once in a while if one has the ability to apply Self-honesty.
Within each experience if we dare to really slow down - we can reach it's limit, it's end and it's systematic equation so to speak which can be explored through words, their relationships and energetic reactions always linked back to the human physical body. It's just the question of specificity and Self-honesty applied with measurable ways such as Self-forgiveness written, said aloud.

Also people would response that if one would require such experiences for becoming a less asshole, why not we let them experiment with their mind?

First of all you and your mind, your body is government property, what you have signed on many documents already under the capitalized letters of your name so are owned - hmm just kidding, but seriously - our so called 'civilization' is the external representation of our own mind consciousness system which determines how we perceive and react to things since our first moment.

We always exist within equal and one relationships as it is the basic principle in existence: Equality and Oneness as Self as all as one as equal. That's why we are always in relationship with something, even in drug experiences.

But if one has not dealt with the conscious mind, subconscious/unconscious mind, one's own-self interest, the desires, fears, ego and not yet manifested a stable physical presence and consistent breathing here as silence within in application and direction to walk Self-forgiveness to immediately re-align and change - these things will make one believe into constructs which are not really real, only the mind is at play which we are automated ourselves to define(even ourselves) with, therefore as as the mind itself.

So whatever is 'mystical', it is sneaky so to speak - 'myst I call' to hide behind, because I am unable to cut through the bullshit because I am not absolutely Self-honest/brave enough to understand all aspects, relationships, parts of my own creation, therefore this mysticism is here to justify with that "I do not fully understand what and why I do, I just know, I just believe, I just trust".

This is unacceptable within the context of Absolute Self-honesty and obviously within common sensical cross-referencing as it might fall with comparing to facts therefore we have to question these whole spiritual vocabularies which has been spread across the cultures all over the planet what if we dare to investigate it's history, FACTS, we can see - all the spiritual agenda was just a smart coup as any other consumerism, only this one has aimed the mind, it's energetic systems(what then will stimulate to do capitalistic consumerism).

And it is not even just about the point of Self-honesty but within delusion one's actions and their consequences into the physical reality, Earth without really being aware of what one's actions are causing through participating for instance in the capitalistic cannibalistic system wherein half of the human population of the planet is living in poverty meaning not having proper food, water, shelter, education, health care so then the accumulation of one's actions or not actions is also a responsibility whether one is aware about it or not.

And I repeat - I do not have problem with the mind-altering drugs at all - only what I refer to is for practical solution purposes these are obviously not the solution. Many claim, promote and even agitate these substances and the experiences they had on those that it is the solution while it is also questionable. It is so cool we see those vivid hallucinations of course, but many might freak out and they do not do it anymore, but if one then does it again and again and again for the tripping - is that really for transcending?
I still visit goa-psy-trance parties/festivals sometimes for fun and dance(not consuming anything only water) or making videos or helping on sound stage or just test myself(do I have energetic reaction in the mind and then re-align with Self-forgiveness immediately) and I look around and many people blow their mind and drink a lot by habit as it is the 'normal party' and is it really that 'revolutionary'/'life-changing'? Though it is cool to not judge yet embrace all what is here in all ways.

For let go of the reins within our mind, unscrewing the frames of it, having reference-experiences for what is like when we are not defining, when we see the extent of the mind consciousness layers and energetic manifestations it can be a mind-field-trip literally but within this one experience can easily fuck up one's own process of Self-realization by even within one thought-feeling-process when using it as fact while it is just a reaction of the past when one was Self-dishonest, in separation of fear from what is really real therefore manifesting some patterns from what one acts out or starts out a thing in one's living which seems valid, legit or even self-honest while it was literally just a tripping.

For instance when I use big equations for computing quantities for materials being needed for a house to build up and in the equation-process for mixing cement I make a mistake and count on ten times less one of the requirements than what is needed for it to last and it turns out only when it is too late when workers build up the house by it and later it falls apart and then it is already too late to correct it.

Once I've had the conclusion that I am a buddha, so for years I was doing buddhist things and then I've realized I am not.
Once I've perceived myself as light - so then from that moment I've defined myself constantly as 'light' - while I am not light. It is the polarity of the mind, depending on positive, negative: lightness, darkness.
Once I've felt myself as being this christ consciousness, for months  I was wondering about that while I was able to let it go and realized it was by super-fast thoughts I've allowed to influence me.
Another time I've had experience talking to a specific mahasiddha(sort of old story of a buddha-like guy who had superpowers, just like from x-man) in a dream so then I've felt myself like 'I've given directions and teachings directly from a buddha-aspect) which I've researched for years, even went to India to find more original scriptures about it.
Many-many and many-many more experiences I've had while here, today I do see it was conviction, opinion, with good intentions nothing else but self-interest, and took invaluable years to realize how exactly I was Self-dishonest to be able to see through my own, self-created, self-maintained, thought-, feeling-, emotion-, memory-image-tuned experiences.

This is the mind - we can experience whatever we intensify ourselves into by the thoughts, feelings, emotions - if we have enough money for it and be able to pay for health, food, shelter - and there are many who can not afford to escape into experiences of positive, groovy moments but they suffer and survive - or not. It is crucial to understand how we are creating experiences through our mind.

It is similar in and as the mind where positive and negative judgements, energies are constantly moving and to see what is real one is required to lean back and stop participating - and within the drug experience these all systems are not really being stopped - only all is being liquified for one big blob within which one is tripping constantly and all the experiences are happening and within that one is not seeing thoughts, only patterns, geometry, colors, frequencies etc - while it is the same system, only it is being heated up (or cooled down) to have different effects.

So anything seems mystical - it is suspicious that "I am in delusion with justification".

It also can become easily a trap - as we peel off a layer with drugs and see another - and then we do another 'trip' to face the next layer - and then we also experience the mind blowing - and then again - while we completely miss the point of direct changing ourselves - and wanting to use the stuff to experience again or have a more direct reference or having a more deep, longer, intense, profound experience - but it's just experience - completely individual - even when we do it together and we feel similar, whatever - we do not understand how the mind works, it is always creates virtual space within we are being entertained - and if drugs effect our mind - we are not here, we are in the mind, it's common sense.
We even can state that we are simulating life - but after all all we do just stimulate ourselves.

There is nothing within our mind or consciousness which can not be explored within practical self-honesty HERE, breath by breath, step by step, if required with specific assistance.

That is real Self-intimacy - the Transcendence of the Mystical.

Just some points to 'thing' about... If you disagree - simply share your perspective if you dare to stand out and see your common sense and discuss it openly with no shame.

I am open for facts and cross-referencing, these are the points I've realized.

What I've also realized is that many of the so called enlightened people are not standing up and out and share their point of views - therefore it is already questionable is it really real, meaning if you would be so sure that you are really knowing, really transcending, why don't you want to share that so fucking divine revelation with all the world openly?

Investigate your interest, your motivation, your direction, your willingness and capability of sort things out on Earth. No matter what's the matter - what is the excuse? That should be obvious how to step through and ACT SOLUTION if you are really enlightened - if not, then question everything from scratches. Every day if required, every moment if needed. Simple.

Also when one is blowing with these drugs - can also incorporate the F.E.A.R.

Fear of being punished from the law system being completely hooked on stuffs which are illegal? This was a great point also within my living with drugs for self-betterment - for my reasoning it was this buddha-thing(buddha referring here as 'awakened one'), one saying was that

'A buddha should not rely on anything'.

I mean literally anything - so if I do need anything for being aware - am I being aware or just being effected to feel more aware until the effect is gone?
So even referring to such thing as 'buddha'(which is a label, a definition, a picture, a judgment in the mind) is already a relying - relationship, separation, fear. Unacceptable. Push through it and whenever comes up - apply Self-forgiveness immediately and re-align in one breath and stand.
Not much time after applying Self-forgiveness directly to it one can realize the enormous power of letting go such belief-system and start to realize how much it was indeed blocking real freedom to be here. And from that there is no turning back - Self-honesty is always who we are - or who we are not and that's it.

So after all - for me all mind-altering drug has proven to strengthen only the inner mind for external dependency for perceptions which do not stand through the test of time.

For that it was the beginning of the great war of intensity for having a so strong mind-blast that I should be shifted to the 'other side' permanently. Of course the intensity also only requires for the mind, not for Self-honesty, Breath, Act where we can stand within stability - in and as our human physical body.

For the purpose of mind-blowing drugs if one use these as mind-effects, visualizations, mind-lubricants it can be sort of fun regardless of the fact that it fucks with the mind with ways one does not comprehend therefore it is mostly the separation what is being fueled within one's mind about there are divine moments, the mystical experiences are more real while these are just really the moments of one is seeing the mind system from different angles.

In this perspective for the real self-support it can be used a very few times but only for the sake of realizing how much we are fucked within our mind which we have to take seriously in terms of working through delusions word by word what we do actively accept and allow within our normal daily living.

For the simplicity it is like a war going on within our mind - the positive, negative, neutral energetic forces are being created through frictions of the judgements we participate within and each breath we miss to remain here in inner silence - we are not here, only in this virtual mind field which we were proudly able to program to perceive a some sort of reality for what we do not really take responsibility for.

Each word to we store reactions, memories, feelings which are being programmed into our own physical body to react to what then stimulates the mind, energy, thoughts, feelings, emotions what we will bear one after another even if it is obviously out of context from HERE, even when it is just distraction, energetic accumulation, spite or even self-abuse.

But when the thought is coming here - it is already manifesting in the mind - and if we are not slowed down within enough to literally be faster than our mind - then the mind will always walk in front of us in one step beyond and simply mirroring our starting point of inner separation from ourselves, from the external world therefore being completely powerless and victimized by: our own self-dishonesty towards ourselves and to the external world as equal as one moment by moment accumulating more and more physical consequences not only for ourselves but for our children, the future, the destiny of mankind.

We must be able to become literally faster, smarter, greater, stronger than our mind which requires slow but sure accumulation breath by breath to not participate within it, not being directed, mesmerized, pulled into.
The fact is that our mind is always one(or more) step beyond of us, who do consciously experience and the mind is constantly busy, scanning, processing, equalizing, predicting as a supercomputer and changing the curtains in front of us - but this mind is who we allowed to direct us - and this mind can not be shattered, left behind with drugs - as it is the inner manifestation of separation of ourselves from ourselves - so we must understand the mind, how it works, what triggers it, why I am being reacted the way I am now feeling good, feeling shitty - all we have to know without thinking, without memories - that is awareness - what for Self-forgiveness written, said aloud is the solution - I will be able to see the mind-patterns before being thrown at me as 'experience' and I can become faster - while being silent, here, directive physically.
Even if we can experience these on drugs - it is not really helping as while on stimulated by drug energies - it is not SELF who changed, only being stimulated to perceive differently - so then after the drug experience is gone - we are the same - only having some references which we might define, think about and in that moment we are more screwed as to use the dualistic mind to define non-dualistic mind is the direct way for absolute delusion it is sure, I've walked it, will not work, only for self-interest, but if we open up ourselves to really act for what is best for all, within this capitalistic, limited system, then we will see, it is not practical, it is slowing us down, it is filtering out facts, it is not practical.

So transcendence is letting go all - even experiences, even drugs - if you insist and take the risk, try, for sure(with assistance, as the guy really jumped out from the window, I did not believe in this shit, but he really did, and he is alright now but did he really change? I am not sure, time will tell).

And transcending is not meaning letting go the physical - it means letting go delusions, applying Self-honesty, absolutely, in each breath. And then we can become capable of seeing/realizing/understanding that the mind consciousness is dependent on physical energy, the human physical body, which is way more superior than our mind, than consciousness.

How much more do we need when we really realize the fact that we are inferior to our own mind which is inferior to consciousness systems which is inferior to the physical?

Investigate, question, apply - it is not the lazy, tripping rebel who will realize, but the diligent, self-honest, practical - and if I can become this, any psychonaut can if really dares. This process will be a shit load of more intense when letting go the mind-altering options but then we are able to work directly with and on ourselves for changing and then applying that into our direct reality to really be able to stand for all equally because that assists to embrace what is real, here.

For real solutions we must be in this system but not of the system, understand our inner mind system how we are behaving, why do we behave so and what is our individual impact to the greater human system which has it's own character so to speak. The capitalistic system, the money system is enslaving almost everyone equally while some are feeling divine, mystical, god-like with all their billion times billions of money which to we should stand up to in practical way and use the current system and it's rules to have impact which is relevant which can be accumulated by individuals who really did realize what is the first priority, what must be life, what must be equal life for all.

That is why the Equal Life Foundation has been formed and running various projects, researches to accumulate real solutions such as Living Income Guaranteed for an immediate solution for poverty, famine, child-abuse which for no mind-blowing god-like drug experience is required to see it's immediate need today as daily 30.000 child dies from famine each day which for we must stand together to vote and implement and manifest a system which ensures ground to earth solution.

Personally me, who've invested so much time and effort to know these drugs, experiences, if I would see these things as the most practical solution for the greatest problems to humanity, I might consider supporting these things - but within investigating how the systems really work and how to become the most effective to participate within standing up to these by investigating and participating, I've found these drugs, the experiences not much relevant and from a perspective directly as blocking my effectiveness to expand to directions what to I am directing to move so it is common sense for me within my personal process to let go these experiences, substances and trusting myself to give my support to other manifestations what require focus, consistency, clarity and diligent accumulative effort to have relevant impact on educational, online and local societies as well.

And it is obviously an excuse to claim that these things do not accumulate consequences which are obviously questionable for not only physical but mental health as well which is also a point of Self-honesty I am referring to. If one can acknowledge that even if would like to stop but can't then it is time for ask for support and it is not shameful, for me, when I've approached Desteni forum in 2007, it was common sense to ask for support and that was the one of the most worthy of my decisions in my life because from that moment I am stabilizing and expanding day by day without a doubt which is also available for anyone who really wants to.

So investigate the Mind, Self here, Human Systems by investigating Desteni support sites:

• Desteni I Process LITE for understanding how to work on mind, self, for practical Self-honesty
• Self-supportive mind-blowing Audio Interviews from EQAFE
• Living Income Guaranteed by Equal Life Foundation
• Desteni Forum for sharing Self-realization and ask questions
• Desteni WIKI on drugs
• Why drug experience give the feeling of freedom?

That is all for today about the context of Ant inspecting Lamborghini.

[JTL 90] How Drugs Promote Paranoia part 5: Spiritual Paranoia part I.

Spiritual drug experience paranoia:

When seeking after something beyond this physical reality and defining that as more important, more real than the physical here.

When one is having hallucinations and defining those as spiritual, enlightening, blissful and relating the experience to actual spiritual/religious agendas such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Spiritualism believing that this is actually a solution for personal and universal betterment while in and as physical using systems what is being disregarded for many such as actual support by food, shelter, body care.

The perception is similar what can be found in scriptures, books referred as mystical experiences.

It is a paranoia within what one is lost within the experience, being paranoid from realizing what is here and who we are as humans is here and physical is what we are and seeing more than our self-flesh than it is and fearing from being that and wanting to be more, wanting to experience more, wanting to find other ways than physical equality. And this paranoia can be boosted with drugs, I’ve seen such things, I’ve experienced it myself and I’ve realized the Self-dishonesty within such perceptions, so I assist and support myself and others within sharing my experiences, realizations.

So spiritual enhancement with drugs(not all drug user has this mind-paranoia, but it is common).

The drug consumer experiences this oneness, white light, dissolve, an intensified energetic state, and a silence, what is kind of sexual and asexual at the same time with a deep feeling of satisfaction without the literal act of sex or arousal.

Perceiving experience of peace, connection with the world, fearless and desire-less, simply being in the now and seeing time and space in a different way with what one can observe personal life from a point of view from which the person is able to see through certain aspects of her/himself.

With the drug, especially with the ones used for ‘tripping’, the drug consumer is not really directing oneself - rather than it is a sense of 'feel and ride with the flow' however at points the experience, 'I' can be quite intense, especially with high dose of psychedelic drugs – one’s mind can totally feel like glowing and everything being liquid and natural, while in fact facing the physical limits literally: feeling like one’s brain is being electrocuted and boiling.

The effect - "trip" starts with intensifying pressure, uncomfortability and then it flips and one is losing past and future totally and losing the ability to define and grasp anything in the mind. Or it is a slow, smooth transition towards silent yet screaming intensification of all senses until all becoming one.

Everything seem as relative and multidimensional yet unrealistically changing, moving, even breathing meanwhile the body experience is different - all pain is gone(for me it was like this but others had intense pain) and nothing really seems to be sure in the space, for instance distance can be changing by how one is focusing to it and the colors seem more saturated and one can feel that energy is limitless

This experience does not seem wrong or bad – however if one defines it through memory, defines it in any way whatsoever and does not remain undefined – then there is a problem because any relationship in this existence in and as the mind is a trap: The Design of Equality and Oneness Field

    “I am only complete I am only whole and I am only fulfilled if I have a relationship with something or someone separated from me. Because have a look how has the mind consciousness system within and as human beings has been designed? Incomplete, unfulfilled, empty lonely, always missing something and now to fill that gap to fill that inherent nature experience of the mind consciousness system which human beings have believed and perceived themselves to be that by formed a relationship only!

    When they are in a relationship they are now in oneness and equality with themselves so that has been the mind fuck of this entire existence that you are only Oneness and Equality which means you are only One and Equal- with yourself Whole, Complete Full when you are in a relationship with something or someone separated from you.”

Meaning it is a partner, a religion, money, spiritual attainment, a drug, something what makes one feels whole – with the relationship formed in and as the MIND!

So within this ‘whole’ experience formed personally I've perceived that I could able to shovel away a mountain if I wanted to but did not seem relevant to physically work on things, rather than just moving towards the least resistance and observe, seamlessly flow, embrace, pacify. Even at times it was like a 'plant' experience for me, just simply being, accepting to stop being in conflict.

That is one aspect and this experience can be quite eye-opener in relation to how one is accepting to live ‘normal’ day to day living in terms of the feel of lack of harmony, connection and experience with one’s mind/one’s environment and start questioning self’s relationship towards reality and oneself directly. However without proper assistance, education on how the mind works, without one is knowing oneself the experiences will be simply unconscious/subconscious/conscious mind manifestations intensified to extreme polarities what might seem very overwhelming and within the experience one might lose the touch with reality.

Many experience quite much of fear and resistances, difficulty and uncomfortable reactions while on effect and it depends on the personality how is dealing with these self-induced magnified mind-experiences and mostly people do not desire to go further within exploring their limits and mostly it is because they do enjoy the comfortable, deep trance within people tend to hallucinate in a way what then can please themselves. However many use it as tripping to feel other dimensions what they state it is beneficial and educational for them and yet there are some who simply say these are just merely mind-poisoning hallucinations what do not have real meaning or gain, only cool entertainment or random blowing off.

Another aspect I bring in is the hallucinations, the visual, audial experiences what one can have with these stimulations can be quite astonishing and really complex in terms of geometrical patterns, apparently naturally artistic and mesmerizing intensity with apparently endless deepness which is pulling one’s attention more and more.

Photos taken from movie Blueberry

Within these experiences everything is clear, pure, shining and perfect so to speak. There is not much related to physical reality in details as there is no dirt, no flaw, just like as new, perfect geometrical patterns.

Of course this depends on the person’s mind that is experiencing it; my personal experiences were like similar to these images;

But much-much more intense, detailed, having more dimensions so to speak and always giving the impression of infinity.

I bring in a specific EQAFE interview: The Buddha Experience:

“I'm here through the Portal to share my life review in my journey with discovering consciousness and the process that I had walked in my life in traveling through the soul of mind into the heart of mind as consciousness and how the attainment of that one point introduced me to an existence of mind so tempting, so mesmerizing, so extraordinary, so beautiful that one could within that's equality with consciousness see and perceive an entire existence that was here beyond what one see with your human physical eyes and I could endlessly sit and stare but at the same time see and observe consciousness dancing with it's light and energy and sound as though it was a force, a power a presence in itself that would entertain me within myself, within my very eyes as I would simply be with consciousness as me within myself could really be like sitting and I would practice with my eyes opened and my eyes closed just being here, a silence so encompassing that every moment you are in this silence so overwhelming that tears flow with such ease and a naturalness of expression through the physical body as you merge with that absolute silence. It's a silence that's a silence, a peace, that each one of us so yearn for within ourselves. It's just quiet. ”

Just go give some examples how intense and mesmerizing these psychedelic drug experiences can be I describe some of what I had back there in my so called ‘dark ages’(regardless of internal experiences what were more referred as ‘light’, in reality as the physical I was really lost in terms of standing on the ground with my feet):

Photo taken from Tool: Parabola

• In a tent listening music closed my eyes with earphones I was experiencing like melting up and becoming a liquid entity and swimming in a field what consists of eyes, like everything is a light-eye, and I am also one of those and feels like we are molecules in an ocean and we are looking each other constantly with no blink and seeing each other constantly, profoundly and continuously flowing, meaning seeing different yet the same eyes all the time which are the same as me yet glowing, waving, throbbing while energy, information and light is what we share, connect with and as and nothing else is but this kind of fractal-like eye-field all around in and as everything.

• After having serious overdose with psychedelics, after seeing each other having direct light columns from the sky walking into this living mandala-field, within which nothing of reality I’ve seen and I was holding my ex-s hands and talked bullshit to her with tearful eyes and I’ve seen marvelous, astonishing, infinite mandala-fields, within which I was walking, like some sort of heaven made for geometry. Each step I took in physical, these mandala-systems were moving accordingly, into every direction there was unthinkable complexity within movement, detail and perfection, beauty: it was some sort of heavenly experience within which I was experiencing myself constantly, however I was holding my ex’s hands because I was in reality blind, nothing I’ve seen and it was at a dark trance party in the nature and in the darkness this light came, and it started like this future-laser light-beam was shooting tremendous information into my eyes, directly to my seeing nerves, directly onto my brain, my perceived soul, my beingness and I was completely occupied with it and then it was irrelevant that I opened or closed my eyes, it was the same, this perfect, blissful, heavenly beautiful mandala-field what I’ve experienced myself within. That was quite short compared with the usual ‘trip’ it used to last, it felt like 8 hours intensity was compressed into a half an hour but that I’ve perceived like really pushed me over the edge for a while. In that time I just started to be obsessed with Tibetan Buddhism, and it completely got me, as those mandalas and visuals are in these typical paintings, sewings, stories, it was it just being alive, like wearing a VR helmet with buddha pure land program – for an ordinary human who has no common sense and strive for cross-referencing everything what he/she experiences and taking granted only things what can be reproduced with mathematical perfection: this was it, it blew away all my doubts and I’ve felt like my mind is so inferior compared to these experiences that it is not possible that I come up with these, that I am hallucinating these, these seemed much more than I could make myself believe as self-delusion, so I really taken granted this experience as some sort of possible way what Buddhists described to see reality through the state of mind how in scriptures buddhas described to see reality as pure heavens. So that made me wonder, of course, regardless of the fact that it was a drug experience what lasted for about a half an hour.

  

  From movie Blueberry

• Another experience what was also way too much intense for an ordinary human not to conspire things when I was combining very potent psychedelic drugs with what I’ve experienced the walls of the room becoming transparent and literally seeing it flying in a star field while we as humans playing our little games meanwhile the universe’s plan is huge within what we are little programs operating as our personalities and it was fascinating to notice how our behavior and movements are related to every detail of our surroundings as one dynamic system such as for music, each other and our internal vector from which we are passing through time and space without being aware of ourselves.
• For another experience I refer to a some sort of body-switch I’ve experienced with a guy who with I was tripping and I’ve seen my own eyes for a while and it was strange to acknowledge and meanwhile at the trance party I’ve seen a huge enormous spiral going around the party and the musicians were mixing this wave within what the people were flying towards this apparently infinite consciousness system and I am there with my mate and we are standing within it’s all and I am interested in it’s end as where it goes and as it is infinite, I directly go to the spiral’s center and what I see as infinite: I notice it’s end, wherein from everything is dark and unknown but until that we are riding as all beings in this system what is taking us to the literal infinity and I see myself as little energetic knot moving an changing meanwhile moving through this consciousness field.
• Smoking from the glass pipe the invisible fog makes my last thought of 'does not effect' washed away and feeling like a torpedo going down in an ocean deeper and deeper, faster and faster like a future rocket and losing all what I feel myself to be and then standing on the bottom of the consciousness ocean where seeing gnomes singing complex, yet simplified symbols what becomes reality and seeing the people in my room around me as individual, clear symbols as well and the gnomes say to me sing reality as well and seeing my palm as symbol as well and feeling very calm
• Another experience when I was experiencing this pure white light what within everything is liquid and there are certain walls which through I cannot enter until I am not fully liquefied and melted up which through in fact I am seeing myself who I am totally disappear and this enormous amount of information is flowing through and as me and it is changing me meanwhile I am seeing everything as systems and of consciousness as energy.
• Another experience when I am seeing everything around in nature as digitized forms such as in the movie matrix but really seeing equations, anything I look to I see codes and energies moving around, what I do not understand yet I am comfortable to embrace and allow me to react to automatically and these symbols are all around me and even around people I see energies what are in fact compressed symbols for what they automatically react to.
• Another experience when wherever I look, I see sitting buddhas in energy fields, totally, perfectly aligned with geometrical lines and patterns and they are on carpets, on the curtain, in the waves of water and at the ripple of the smoke, the glimpses and bokeh of the light sources and these are sitting and being present and there is no judgment but an unified endless numbered presence of consciousness as parts of me in and as this existence.
  
• Seeing all plants as fractals, like breathing, constantly moving, and interacting between the leaflets, the branches, the patterns and the movements are constantly twirling, rippling, yet remaining the same with the impression of a some sort of Perpetua mobile, what is way far from not being aware but constantly be present and alive meanwhile never stopping reacting to its surroundings and even reacting to my observation and changing how I react to it and immediately shifting patterns, colors and whatever I look to, I find the same patterns, I experience the similarities and the impact of my attitude being reflected back how they seem interacting with me.
• Another when feeling different kind of fumes seeing very brutally popping up energy codes and symbols within what I am feeling overloaded with their robust, raw energy waves within what I feel physically bruised, my presence and mind being felt teared, like seeing behind the curtain wherein I do not have protection from my very physical being programmed to keep together in an insanely complicated yet perfectly matching order what my consciousness does not understand, comprehend as they are too fast, too much, too intense.

I do not yet have the words to explain as I’ve lost my presence so many times within these intensified sensory overloads, there were hundreds like these for sure, however what I do remember I realized: it was experience, I do not trust here today, I cannot trust, and that was not an immediate, obvious decision to make and live by but throughout the years I’ve learned the slow and hard way that what is relevant is what is really real, which is the Physical.

So I’ve had experiences like these much-much more than I do even remember to and these intensified perceptions has carved quite a threshold into my sensational definitions within what I’ve completely re-defined what is real from the very starting point of the self-definition of intensity.

These kind of references to the drug experience can be found in art, media, movies but these are merely symbols to the actual experience when one is within it, as many times the ability to define is lost, suppressed, therefore any memory, visual remembrance is merely a fractional attempt to reconstruction of something what one does not really comprehend, fully understand.

Many of my experiences I’ve seen within classical and contemporary art, rarely within video clips, movies, however most of those I’ve never ever seen, even referenced in anyway whatsoever in this physical existence, however what I had to understand that all of these experiences are completely unrelated and in fact irrelevant to my personal life, the involvement of my personal choices, decisions, overcomes, realizations and transcendence.

My issues were much-much earthier, dirty so to speak such as relationship conflicts, financial troubles, addictions and paranoia, self-doubt, fear from responsibility and always indirectly: fear of loss, fear of change.

Being ‘able’ to experience these kind of for others existing as invisible dimensions: I had no advantage, no extra information, ability to use it for nor personal or universal gain. I've only felt myself loner and different and split and misfit than others who did not have these experiences, realizing that millions of buddhists thrive for these 'signs' and 'gifts' and 'attainments' and I had to realize it is nothing, it is not real, it is not me. All I was able to is being good within make myself believe and being advanced within imagination and hoping so much to be more than who I am here than started to see what I wanted to see and occupied and mesmerized myself within consciousness for years.
The whole agenda of selflessness is completely misunderstood and based on a paranoia of judging and separating self from flesh as consciousness meanwhile the source is always the physical.
That the self of consciousness of mind is in fact illusion however the choices we make, the physical participation and the actual consequence we cause: it is real what can not be undone simply within a perceptional shift or an energetic mind state change by thoughts, feelings, emotions; it must be changed in all it's existing relationships within and as the physical and stand the test of time as self as flesh, that is real, that is change.

Also I must admit that I often experienced drawbacks and pull downs after these experiences, especially when realizing that I am ‘returning’ to my normal, mundane life experience wherein many times I was really hopeful and enthusiastic about the things I’ve just experienced however my real life has not changed expect I’ve made or I’ve reacted to it based on the judgments I had regarding to reactions to these experiences. I’ve became addicted to try to re-define, interpret and reproduce these out of mind experiences however what I did not consider that by thoughts I always ended up rehearsing the previously defined experiences based on already defined experiences in fact based on my initial judgments what I ‘brought’ from my childhood, education, impressions through my life.

Within exploring multi-dozen of scriptures and references from quite some of teachings I’ve noticed the similarity of my experiences, perceptions and altered states of mind, what I understand could be referred as different kind of psychological issues within the currently established mainstream procedures, however I was very confident that I am far from being sick or insane as I was always sure that the beingness of currently existing ‘normal’ person is in fact the absolute limitation, slavery and insanity, so by seeing people living their ‘ordinary’ life and having their apparently ‘little’ problems I was megalomaniacal on defining myself as anomaly, exception, other, outsider and nothing but ordinary and by constantly having these experiences feeling like I should listen and trust in nobody when saying to me what is reality. Later on that has assisted me to even being able to disregard all these consciousness experiences and start applying Common sense when hearing the Desteni Message for the first time and establishing Self-honesty for real.

When started to participate seriously within spiritual practice of zen meditation, Tibetan Buddhism and mantras, my mother said to me that 'you are just sitting and waiting the fried pigeon to fly into your mouth what will never happen' and after some years I was able to understand that whatever I want and whoever I am, that I must do by and as myself directly in and as the physical, so if I want to change, I should not say mantra of foreign eastern duck-sounding languages, but actually see my relationship with the actual words I react to and define myself to be and in relation to that I realize who I accept myself to be and I change that within and as myself and that I ACT, undefined, no thoughts, no feeling, no emotion, no energy, but directly myself here.

So eventually that realization and facing some near-death, physical experiences gave me the edge to fundamentally question my perceived reality and consider my experiences and self-built up knowledge(read a LOT, not just eastern stuff, western also, hundreds of books) what seemed to be burden in the moment and to be able to disregard all who I’ve defined myself to be and constantly strive for more and more new paradigms to compare to my existent world-views and within trying to apply them realizing that I am more and more confused than confident and it intensified until I’ve found Desteni, within what I was able to understand how creation and things really work and start to undo what I’ve made myself to be through debugging and backtracking and writing out all of these experiences and start facing my relevant issues what I’ve already mentioned such as relationship, sexuality, addiction, fear, trust issues to really understand who I am and what I am accepting and allowing as not who I really am as Life and I’ve started Desteni Process of Self-honesty and Self-forgiveness to decompose, let go, delete from my beingness everything what is not really me as the Breath of Life as who we are all equal as one.

I’ve made a bit more detailed within some certain experiences but I wanted to shine up some of the spiritual drug users mind from which they are defining themselves to be to realize the extent of nonsense they FEEL when one is approaching them with the common sense that ‘this is just an experience’ wherein they are really full of references of EXTREMELY intense memories what their mind has been defined as more real through the polarity dimension of intensity what is based on the energetic mind humans addicted to.

And the extent of these experiences are related to the person’s character who he/she is defined her/himself to be within what they are ensuring the righteousness for who they define and experiencing themselves to be.

Also looking back today I cannot miss to notice how my experiences were related to my readings, influenced by media as movies I’ve watched, just giving one example as The Matrix movie and within obsession it is typical that one everywhere starts to see what wants to see, just same when one is always seeing specific numbers: one is programmed to find these signs which through can interpret what wants to see, wants to conclude – and with the drugs these are intensified without one is realizing it based on the seriousness and development of obsession.

My obsession was to find a state of mind and an immediate knowledge and ability to penetrate anything in reality to experience deeper perception, understanding and interpretation because who I experienced myself to be was so limited, confined, detained and suppressed that I strived for any experience of difference. Later on that also I've found being represented within and as the Desteni Portal which is directly accessing everything in and as existence simply being HERE. I've visited, I've watched, I've communicated with the portal extensively so I am standing as living testimony and witness that it is real and more profound than anything I've ever experienced.

What I was after is Freedom, knowledge and eccentricism to not needing to identify myself with the normal, mundane human experience what apparently everyone around me accepted themselves to be and I utterly rejected in the act of quest I (was) on what is reality and who I am.

Therefore for some person it is enough one-two experiences to question physical reality, some person requires more, and there are the stubborn ones like I was who want frequent experiences to remind them that consciousness experience is superior within directly proportional to the frequency of their delusion of such disregard the only and one reality: The Physical.

And that’s why psychedelic drugs are the food of gods, the believers who put themselves beyond others based on their experience, their consciousness, their egos are perceiving these in a way poisons to the body as the substance of fifth element, the philosophical stone of the alchemists.

Meanwhile what fact is disregarded that millions are compromised on the physical level to even experience their life existence as worthy within tremendous suffering and abuse through the norms of the human system within what the individuals are sleepwalking to the fact that participating within the monetary, economic, political system each are equally responsible for the current manifestation of earth.

Therefore any experience what is not related to direct, mathematically measurable progress toward facing the systems manifested on earth which through humans life as collective is being influenced, directed, programmed towards stopping accepting and allowing abuse against life, children in the form of rape, starvation, war, genocide and environmental disasters: is in fact irrelevant and the very opposite of any realization, transcendence and  empowerment but merely an self-provoked experience-based justification for prioritizing self-interest beyond all others which is in fact the opposite of goodness.

Continuing with quoting from The Buddha Experience:

 “Experience can come in any magnificent, beautiful apparent ways. Isn't that lovely? Seeing galaxy, an universe, dancing stars and lights beyond this physical what one see with human physical eyes how one seeing that in any way contribute to a practical, physical solution to humanity as a whole.

But you spiritualists are all mesmerized with the apparent beautiful symbols, and codes and encodings and seeing apparently this great colorful and geillic things, how is that throughout time will be contributed to the physical action of making a difference to humanity as a whole? None whatsoever. Possessed with experience instead of realizing to change this earth we have to practically, physically move and do it together for ourselves and for all. I would suggest not making the same mistake I did in believing in consciousness is in anyway valid within this physical existence.”

It may sound harsh but to LIVE means to learn existence and keep which is good for all, and staring countless hours of geometrical patterns and symbols waving around will not assist and help for all the children to come equally into this capitalistic system what we are seeing more and more growing into a corporate totalitarianism what does not care about the individual, real love or compassion, only about monetary accumulation, greed, profit and the surviving of the system, which is driven by consciousness itself being superior than human individuals but existing within and as each human being as Mind Consciousness System, superimposing reality, the physical, wherein Life is merely a suppressed Essence within each equally.

And some may misinterpret the fact that mostly drugs and especially hallucinogenic drugs are illegal within the establishment systems, not because one can experience real reality, but because ones will start screwing up their programmed mind and stop being a good slave for which it might seem beneficial but each substance as has advantage, has disadvantage as well and the starting point is always because directly humans define themselves to not be able to be self-honest, able to change but only with a relationship formed with something outside and separate from self within consciousness.
Meanwhile not realizing that the starting point is always has it's consequence here specifically the already existing relationship within and as self as being unable to be whole without an effect of a substance therefore self-limitation is guaranteed without the effect unless one does not understand, forgive and transcend this initial, existing relationship with and as self: this will remain, one will remain as slave to the mind, always using it to experience this wholeness.

Therefore these drugs are not BAD, however to define the experience, to put these experiences more than just being glimpses of how CONSCIOUSNESS SYSTEMS are operating is really not practical within transcending the mind at all and reach the freedom what one is striving for reaching, attaining with these substances.

Also what I had to acknowledge and fully understand that any ‘ancient’ and ‘profound’ and ‘spiritual’ and ‘religious’ knowledge is also of and as consciousness, CAN NOT BE TRUSTED!

As having these things as starting point – common sense is disregarded, physical is disregarded, practical understanding is disregarded by praising experiences and apparent ‘divinity’ is superimposed in relation to the simple fact that each one of us requires food, shelter, real education, physical care to explore a healthy living what we all want for ourselves and for our ‘beloved ones’ – so why accepting a starting point, a system what is disregarding ANYONE? That is already a result of insanity and fear of loss paranoia accumulated into a system driven by consciousness referred as ‘civilization’. Is this really civilized?

Just see some of the most powerful, effective establishments such as countries, religions, do they really able to stand as Life as values of Real, unconditional compassion and love?

Just to notice that most of the leading countries have been raged war and enslavement, colonization and exploitation of other countries just because they can, even within this very century, within this very year! Is this right, is this development, is this evolution? That is reality, that is really the divine, profound truth, our nature what we are manifesting in and as the physical, that is accumulating, that is here as ourselves.

This is common sense and unless any drug experience is not for practical solution for this to face, understand, decompose, embrace, stand equal with and as to change for what is best for all – I say fuck all mystical experiences, and these are distraction from what is really real and important.

Now, I will finish this article today with repeating that with tremendous amount of so called mystical experiences I’ve gained nor experienced any practical ability to even comprehend what is reality and how things and creation really works except the fact that we are completely screwed within our mind in each moment of a thought, feeling, emotion of disregarding the physical.

Anyone who is not able to acknowledge this message can contact me and explain their practical solution within mystical experiences on how those will manifest a solution what is best for all within the monetary, economic, political, environmental and educational crisis we are currently facing.

I also understand, personal smoothness, change, openness towards arts, stopping several addictions and respecting ‘life’ people also ‘experience’ after psychedelic experiences but I must say that this is just the very beginning of any measurable step within Self-realization as first personal, then interpersonal and then the universal process what we must head onto as ourselves as equally responsible and take direction within principle what is best for all by the simple act of ‘give as you would like to receive’ what should not and can not exclude anyone on this earth.

Therefore any sitting back and feeling accomplished, swollen into decadence, hedonism, entertainment, party life while the tremendous abuse is taken place day by day and children are coming to earth not supported, facing abuse and war and poverty and greed is dominating: then a Self-honest man does not do such thing and it is obvious: cannot stop acting within measurable ACTION towards manifesting All Life existing within Practical Equality.
Therefore within Self-honesty one must consider after a point what psychedelics really give and for myself personally from a moment(since about 6 years) I am absolutely clear that I do not need these and in fact not really supporting me for what I am responsible for as all Life.

Anyone who claims these as ultimate tool for human betterment are in fact paranoid as already having a self-defined relationship as self-acceptance as limitation within and as self as mind and therefore should start investigating personal life and study how the mind and creation works and realize that within this era drugs are incapable of for a global solution for all therefore to push it’s agenda might be only a personal interest.

I am aware of that PTSD and veterans are handled with these effectively to let go the extreme shock and abuse what they are experiencing and that is alright, I agree, I stand with common sense and cross-referencing methods to find practical solutions but what I see at electronic parties, among hipsters, spirituals is merely hanky-panky recreational self-indulgence without actually facing and being able to stand up to directly the issues, problems, reality what are currently directing humanity’s destiny towards an inevitable doom.

I am quite aware as well of that most of the art, music, films what we see currently has been influenced by this spiritual drug perspective and it can be great within showing alternate points of view however considering these as practical solutions for all cannot be taken seriously.

I’ve walked quite some journey within the realization and acknowledging that I will not be able to really assist and support a global solution with any of my art, music, painting or video clip as these are for FEELINGS and I can make certain people feel in a certain way but that’s all.

The same as any spiritual practice within their closed groups, methods, symbolisms, rituals and feelings: not supporting physical change within absolute understanding and standing up to creation as equals. If one thinks differently, show me a Living Buddha, a Living Krishna, a Living God who deals with all systems on earth equally!

Anyone claims  any real power who cannot directly stand up within understanding and practical approach for solution to economic, political, psychological and cultural solutions should not be taken seriously at all as these are what directing humanity, not the compassion, love, light and until one does not acknowledge that: remains powerless and lost within the process of trying to locate themselves within consciousness experience and missing direct responsibility within the actual physical reality where everything can be seen, obviously, simply: here where we live our life.

• Education is required within one can self-empower to be able to see what must be changed in and as self to be able to grow up to practical solutions, such I’ve found as Desteni I Process within what one is being walked through the process of Self-empowerment of Self-honesty and Self-forgiveness to change ourselves from what is already created and being in automatic motion based on self-interest and to visibly, publicly re-align to what is really, mathematically provably can be measured as best for all.

• Living Income Guaranteed is required within what each human is respected as Life within the current monetary system to have the ability to stop survive and start living.

And why I was not able to directly see what I see today as relevant and in fact practical to understand how the current human system is manifesting disregard for all life equally? That should all start to see and explore within Self-intimacy to be able to correct Self.

My initial judgments towards politics, law, business and economy were that within these areas I’ve accepted myself as there is no chance that through that I could realize what is really going on as I’ve accepted my financial, economic, political inferiority through self-judgments such as:

1. I am poor, and universe must have ways to skip the money point to gain power as the rich ones will die equally as the poor so there must be a way out from this without money
2. Financial abundance should not be related to real self-abundance
3. Within law and politics it is obvious(based on media, local politics, movies, books) that who are in this area of power are greedy and selfish, materialists so that way I do not want to go, I do not want to participate, I need just real direct power
4. Economic is something what is based on selling, business, sales, negotiation, contracts, profit, greed what I am not interested in

So by these very four judgments I’ve rejected any investigation within the related aspects of human establishment’s and focused onto experiences as I’ve noticed how much I’ve reacted to experiences, how I’ve perceived myself to be as changed by intensified perceptional changes, feelings, reactions, so I’ve focused onto these meanwhile my physical life was not really working as

• my relationship has fallen apart
• I was not able to sustain consistent job and provide myself with financial stability
• I was addicted to sex, certain drugs to overcome the energetic intensity addiction to overcome experiences of fear of loss, fear of change

Meanwhile the spiritual activities I’ve been involved within combined with the spiritual drug paranoia occupation has not really pointed out the core of my problems, only generalized, abstract and semi-wise statements I was able to apply as energetic bandage, adhesive plaster towards my reactions to the fact that I was dysfunctional as socially, as financially as personally.

So facing that also pushed me over and over and over again trough the edge to try to intensify experiences to push myself more and more over the perceived barricade and wall standing between me and real power and profound knowledge about reality meanwhile not realizing that the self-defined barricade was in fact myself only and until starting to apply Desteni principles I was lost and I was looking after solution and myself everywhere else but where I am always: here.

Everything is here, this is who we really are, what is here, in and as this physical reality, so in search of anything sacred, mystical, religious experience of what is real we just have to stop participate within any self-definition and embrace what is here as physical as who we really are within Oneness and Equality.

So that’s all about drugs and spiritual paranoia today, what I was able to see through and let go completely.

Now, summarizing all in within practical approach:

Problem

When seeking and prioritizing after something beyond this physical reality, especially consciousness and energetic light experiences and defining that as more important, more real than the physical here.

Disregarding real, personal, interpersonal, universal self-responsibility, issues, problems and wanting to shortcut, jump to solution without practical understanding.

To Disregarding responsibility within man-made systematic manifestations as mind consciousness systems and economic, political, educational, crisis accumulated by individual acceptance and allowance.

Giving into the hope that the feelings I feel within towards spiritual techniques would lead me to real solutions not only for me but all others meanwhile to see the physical actions I take it is common sense that I am lost in experiences.

Solution

Realizing the priorities within life that each human requires food, shelter, physical care equally and to disregard that from anybody based on justification is of consciousness systems what we defined ourselves to be and act through and as its design which is definitely not who we are as life.

Realizing that consciousness is a mesmerizing, energetically addictive symbiotic system within us manifested as programmed personality in and as our mind and human physical body.

Realizing that consciousness has been deliberately designed with the perception of infinity, perfection and light in order to catch and pull in our attention from what is the starting point, the real: physical.

Realizing that with drugs consciousness experiences and perceptions are intensified while to occupation to continue to do so is justified with the hope that it leads to any solution meanwhile it is just a sophisticated form of distraction from what is important here in and as the physical, which is the source.

Realizing that any attempt for making the physical as inferior to consciousness we are directly responsible for superimpose and justify some having good and profound experiences meanwhile in the big picture nothing changing and the most of the beings are being abused and recycled just as energy source, in the economic system as simple profit-able two feet walking purses who can be brainwashed to buy things what they do not even need.

Reward

To focus what is here, to focus what is our reality, to focus what is our direct responsibility and practically work on that once we realize the delusion and Self-dishonesty within consciousness experiences and start the process of ‘coming down’ from the tree of self-definition where we hang ourselves to each day with the same patterns over and over and over again until we do not understand each steps why we make, correct each one to come back to physical Earth and stand on the ground with two feet within stability to face and deal with already manifested systems we are in fact equally responsible for.

To be aware of the traps of consciousness experiences and entertainment and hope that taking refugee within these will not assist us to a solution which is in fact best for all therefore PREVENT to be occupied, to STOP ourselves when seeing the pattern to unfold within ourselves and eventually realize

• the necessity for a Process of Self-forgiveness to change ourselves in the flesh and to investigate all things and keep which is good in fact for all is here.

• To be able to assist and support others within their self-made up spiritual delusion and stop the pretend of all-knowing love obsession and when someone is lost within feelings and experiences then stand up and express ourselves within the starting point of our realization and living example of stopping Self-dishonesty of drug-induced spiritual-energetic-addiction paranoia and start solving real issues within human society by confronting deceit, lie, greet, self-interest and give a living example of a dignified, principled, life day by day within integrity and respect for All Life Equally.

Self-forgiveness, Self-correction and Self-commitment will follow.