[JTL Day 206] Tiredness vs Awareness part 6 - practicality

This is the continuation of the mind-tiredness patterns and expanding on impatience:

• [JTL Day 205] Tiredness vs Awareness part 5 - impatience

So I've been 'practicing' the moment of truth with myself so to speak, when at moments I need to wait yet I want to rush forward, currently pronouncing: with computers.

I mention it as moment of truth - in fact all moment is truth - but do we realize it?

When I am facing the point of friction because within my mind I want to rush while not being aligned with reality, kind of reality feels like drags me down, pulls back, or at least I judge it like that in my mind and thus judging it as bad and that creates the friction, energy, charge experience.

I have a cool example: I am using a browser add-on which allows me to set up my Stumbleupon account and be able to 'Like' a page simply with a keyboard shortcut - thus whatever page I find as cool Self-support, simply being able to add it to my Stumbleupon profile's collection.

Sometimes Stumbleupon just marks it as 'Liked' and adds it immediately but sometimes it loads a pop-up for clarifying that the page is safe for work, can be tagged, give a quote and more info about it.

Then a pop-up page appears where this can be set up and it recently changed, thus it does not load almost immediately, but mostly in 2-3 seconds. Also after filling the form when I send it - it also takes 1-3 seconds to send it and I have to wait while if I click away it cancels sending thus I literally have to stop doing anything.

Initially when this change happened and I tried to add a page to my SU. collection, I've had this reaction like 'holy shit, how long I have to wait' - and after that I've wrote my previous blog post.

I mean I was so impatient, that I've felt like losing my life on needing to wait for 2 seconds! Because in my mind I've defined this as a simple gesture when added to a keyboard shortcut, that is why those shortcuts exist, right? I just press and the machine gets it and then I am already 'on' my next moment.

But obviously many things happen meanwhile as it's in sync with my SU profile, checks the site itself, loads the form of extra questions, sends it, sends reply - being a programmer I KNOW that it takes a lot to manage something like this, especially in a multi-million-user system, like Stumbleupon.

So about this I almost started to form a judgement as a point of frustration - and then as writing all of these blog posts - I was able to slow down and stop for a moment and take a breath. It's just that - and the page's loaded.

And then I've realized what I've wrote about previously - it is always one breath to let it all go and be here, just be and remain here.

And we can be always one breath away from HERE, but sometimes to get here it's obviously a process, cannot be forced or just be changed in one moment within behavior, chain-reactions of automated, self-defined judgements we feel as it is who we are, but within walking Process one moment another, in a sense it is Self Here already walking and that is the most profound thing a human can achieve: to change and direct oneself one breath at a time and walk through the self-created mind-limitations unconditionally.

Within this it's to acknowledge that each written word about our mind, our relationship with our mind, behavior, the reactions, the realizations, the points needing to understand more, to see it before going into the same patterns, to stabilize, to slow down, to feel the presence - these all accumulate into a more aware, more present, more responsible human being to be able to direct ourselves to become.

I see that by writing this, I have the opportunity to forge this realization into practical ability to remain here and consistent within effective and present breathing to prevent myself going into reaction and at the same time to be able to intimately see what is the reason I am going into reaction and behind the layers there is always judgement, fear which is not necessary and in fact the opposite of real support for effective solution.

And the tendency within my mind to re-create and evolve existing patterns can still surprise me sometimes for instance when activating the Stumbleupon keyboard shortcut and coming this impatience reaction and within that automatically saying to myself: 'patience mode, breath' - and to realize it is already of a pattern which is in fact not absolute self-honesty, because there is still a reason, a condition, thus not self here is expressing but again: leaning on and hiding behind a condition, a rule, a judgement, separation, pattern and for that there is Self-honesty as a compass to then engage myself more within specifying the understanding for why I still do not remain here unconditionally, what is the reason, the memory, the self-definition that I still rely on more than absolute self-trust.

And for that the Desteni group, study material, the online courses and EQAFE lectures are the key support - to understand my creation and within that grasping the whole existence's creation and thus to be able to effectively walk through the layers of the mind consciousness system, which is indeed vast, but not infinite, difficult, yet the process, as Self is: simplicity.

Thus I specify and continue walking through the layers of the mind - also I still walk the DIP Agreement Course which is really a cornerstone of my self-support currently, thus I really suggest to check it out and dare to walk.

So - with the Stumbleupon point I wanted to give a practical example, which I will continue to walk with Self-forgiveness along with another point which is emerging recently.

When and as I sit in front of a computer I see/realize/understand that I have allowed myself to automatize my behavior, give permission my mind to react to self-defined conditions with positive and negative energy and allowing to accumulate into physical feelings, moods, tension and accepting those and not questioning, stopping and changing myself about those because that leads to inconsistency, impatience, tiredness.

When and as I sit down in front of a computer I stop defining myself and my attitude according to the computer's speed, capacity, responsiveness by realizing that I decide when to react to what within considering what supports me within self-honesty.

When and as I experience that the computer is slow, not responding, the browser, applications are not loading immediately, I breathe, I simply am here and remain undefined - I see/realize/understand that I am capable of deciding what I am going to do with the computer and once I decided it, it does not matter how slow it's going to take - I remain here, breathing, consistent, unwavering meanwhile directing myself and the computer - and if meanwhile it would take that much time what would not be common sense to wait, then I act accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to become aware the point of self-acceptance and self-defeat within that not being able to decide when it is too much time to wait or embrace the computer's/internet's speed while doing something with it but defining rules and conditions to when and what to react and defining the accumulation of these reactions as frustration and when it would come defining it that it is not cool and then defining my relationship with this not-cool-ness to THEN do something about it and focusing to these reactions completely losing perspective and forgetting the fact that in fact I am not directing myself, I am not present, not here and also that I allow these self-defined reactions to tell me when it is too much, when I am being frustrated, when I should do something practical about the fact that it takes too much time to wait for the computer.

This is important - because in fact within self-honest walking with self-forgiveness it is clear that I've decided to accept each and every single reaction to become automatic and thus allow myself to be compromised by actually creating reactions what are not supporting, diverting my attention from the actual solution and becoming unstable, creating friction and making myself tired.

And the solution can be sometimes just accept that 2 seconds to wait when clicking - or when working with videos I face extreme amount of lag sometimes as it does what I do - mostly complex multi-layered hd-animations - and finding more effective, smart, doable workflows without reacting with so much unnecessary frustrations.

Also the solution can be realized also that I would need a better computer, a faster internet, if that's possible and then to consider how to manage that - another whole scenario can open up, for instance financial considerations - to find out how much it would cost to upgrade and if I can have money for that - is there any reactions in my mind on spending the required amount? If there is no enough money, how I could have such amount and what I would require to do and meanwhile be aware of what is the priority here.

I mean to actually do something in this reality it is mostly being able to work with limitations without being limited - which can also be judged as obstacles, something to resist to realize, face, overcome, solve - and also can be seen as challenge, fascination, like what I am going to face and realize about myself meanwhile walking this challenge, for instance within this to prioritize how to upgrade my computer and meanwhile not become frustrated but be able to be effective within it's usage.

Anything can be possible and everything can be compromised in the mind but one thing is certain - if there are reactions automatically, frustration, energies, instability, then we are not the directive principle but accumulation of self-acceptance, self-defeat, self-dishonesty, thus to walk through those also an accumulation is required: of self-direction, self-stability and self-honesty.

I write this meanwhile the computer renders a frame of a 15 seconds of animation in ten seconds, thus for sure it takes time but meanwhile I walk through the conflicts of the mind and remain here, directive, stable.

I will continue with more specific self-correction, self-forgiveness and self-commitment on preventing to react with the mind but instead of remain here, directive and breathing.

[JTL Day 190] Practical movement when losing ground

I am specifying on the previous post: when experiencing losing ground.

• http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/06/jtl-day-189-experience-of-losing-ground.html

When and as I experience losing ground - I see/realize/understand that it is because I've went into my mind and reacted and the experience of things becoming too fast is indicating I am reacting faster than being really aware of it thus I slow down, I focus to what I actually do and I prioritize.

When and as I am within movement in a new environment, with new people, with new challenges using new skills I focus to practical application, I take the time literally to know myself within the new situation instead of fearing, worrying, reacting or pre-defining it or myself, the experience and within that awareness of I am here - I express myself breath by breath with giving myself the chance to explore the new what is here, around me, within me with self-trust, self-direction, self-consistency.

When and as I face something what I've previously defined as difficult, challenging, complicated or painful - I prepare myself and I let all go within my mind and I realize that when reacting with fear, judgement, I am separated from what I am going to face thus I stop, I allow myself to stop the separation, I allow myself to be vulnerable, open, present and clear within.

When and as I worry of people would judge me if I explore and practically manifest a principled living wherein practically being scheduled, being directive and disciplined - I realize that I judge myself, if others would react, I would have the answer that I am specifying effectiveness, practicality and accumulation and thus I do not need to fear and within that I let the worry go and I stand within clarity and if somebody would ask or react - I state it clearly, calmly, directly what I do and why.

When and as I am among other people, I realize it is me who I can decide how I act with them and I decide to be the same disciplined, clear, calm, expressive alone, with few and with many as equal as one and whatever comes up I stop, I let go, I forgive, I change myself until this is clear, unwavering, stable.

When and as I see myself participating within discussion with others what would not support me, what I would see as irrelevant, not really deciding the time to spend on it - I decide - shall I intervene, express myself to change the topic or shall I leave and based on that I can stay or go - speak or remain silent within self-direction, presence without thinking, without worry, without compounding uncomfortability for spending time on something what is not priority while there are things what I could do.

When and as I would question the discussion I participate within with other/others and considering time constraint and priority - I see into me and check is it of fear or is it practical common sense, am I self-honest or I give into the reaction and want to stop that reaction indirectly instead of stopping the fear - and if I see reaction/fear within me - first I stop that and then decide.

When and as I would worry on people would see me as control freak or robot while specifying my time spending on having fun and enjoying time or entertainment I check 'Do I have fear?' in one moment and if so then I stop myself, re-align myself to be here, in and as the body, present, consider what is priority and apply common sense and also consider that having fun or enjoying being with others in fact is not a bad thing - not even good if it is self-expression, seeing within self-honesty that is it cool to have this moment for enjoyment or there is something what rather I should do as priority.

When and as I would go into having fun, feeling good, entertainment, friendship all the time - I check what is the reason I need that all the time and what is beyond, behind this experience as the strive for 'feel good, and having fun' occupation and check that do I escape from something, do I suppress an other experience and if so then I face it as it is in fact me and I forgive, stop and change.

When and as I am with my partner and facing some point what makes me react or makes her react I do not judge this as 'not worthy' and thus accumulating into an experience of 'wasting time' but I actually see how it could be solved and remain within agreement to not face this conflict and what is the compromise I would have to take to stop that and is that self-honestly acceptable or not and if not then I directly communicate and if required leave.

When and as I feel myself overwhelmed and worried on not progressing with the things I want to do and this friction, energetic experience compounds and want to do these things but within that not knowing which one first and wanting to do all at the same time I stop doing it, slow down within my mind to the point of be able to face and deal with each point sequentially and make a priority list within practical physical time scheduling without overloading, overstressing myself and start doing it and I realize it is the accumulation and consistency what makes progression, not the relentless haste.

When and as I do something and in the meantime feeling or experiencing doubt about shall I do this or something else because of maybe the other thing would be more important or priority - I stop and consider what shall I do first or how practically schedule my time without go into self-doubt, thinking or worry, remaining within clarity, presence, direction, naturally, calmly and I decide and I act and trust myself.

When and as I do something and meanwhile thinking about something to do or having ideas of other things - I stop myself being distracted - if required -seeing it within practical common sense - I make a note and I progress with the point but I do not stop it and I discipline myself doing it with full of my beingness and not give into the energetic temptation of positive and negative energies of judging what I do or what I do not do - and if energies would arise by judgement - I stop it and I realign myself here, physical, directive immediately and not allowing thoughts, doubts to compound.

I commit myself to practically correct myself within action, within relationships with other humans and within scheduling, prioritizing, getting things done without distraction, without doubt, expressing myself unwaveing, undefined, consistent, calm, effective, breath by breath.

I commit myself to learn myself do everything breath by breath and teaching my beingness how to let go the energetic mind and live each breath with my presence, with my direction, with my self without conflict, without fear, without doubt.

[JTL 176] Correcting speaking awkwardly

Continuing with two point directly: fear of not speaking up, fear of speaking awkwardly.

At moments when I did not speak up but I wanted to - not even 'up' but just speak out what I had in my mind - so then I was damned to circle the thing in my mind for a long time - instead of directly saying how I see and sparing the turmoil and self-judgement of not speaking up.

Many angle was around here - fear of mistake, fear of not being able to express myself, fear of being judged, fear of being awkward. As a kid I was introverted and lonely - I had a vivid, fast mind yet I could not express myself, I had lot of ideas, insights but when tried to express, I was not experienced how to speak and it was influenced by fear, which to I've focused and made myself awkward within my expression and then by these memories I've defined myself as awkward, not good with speaking, people.

At moments when I feel myself awkward and unsure - this is rare, but occurs sometimes and for a moment if I wonder: I miss a moment here.
It is of comparison, validating how I am based on judgement, jealousy, fear. Let's walk it with Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not speak up within fear of loss, fear of change, fear of consequence and not realizing that what it is exactly I fear from because then I would see what would mean directly what to walk through it practically and within that realizing that the fear I use to cover the fear of change, fear of losing who I've defined myself to be and fear from unknown and in the moment of specifically realizing all details here - it is not fear anymore but an opportunity to step through my limitation as self-direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry from what others would react to if I speak up exactly what I suppress and judging that based on another judgement which not seeing through and fear of being rejected or being rude or being alone because of not playing the nice guy anymore which is a layer to hide behind from others and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am nice within expression and not speaking up points what I've defined as not nice based on memories and preconceptions without questioning these when I face them or giving my mind permission to use these as stimulate/influence/direct me.

I forgive myself that I did not let go the memories, preconceptions which are not facts and not realizing that facts do not have to be thought all the time, kept in my mind so all I think is opinion, energetic occupation to not be here, embrace reality and directly participate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I was a quiet boy who was introverted and did not practice speaking enough and others were apparently more fluid within speaking and if I've defined my words being spoken out as not perfect and rhetorical then I am bad with speaking and then defining myself that way and whenever I speak, thinking that I am speaking badly, ugly, defining myself as speaking as a peasant because using simple phrases and because focusing to these judgements, these reactions, the memories of moments I've had difficulties to speak up and stumbled within speaking, instead of focusing to the actual speaking I do and because of that fear, reaction, energies I focus: manifesting stumbling again and again and again and not realizing that the solution is to let go all past and speak here and accumulate practice and trust here and realize - if I am speaking here - I focus to what I speak, how I speak and then I am changing, learning, expanding and in fact speaking effectively here.

I forgive myself that I have validated my not speaking up to others because of judging them as bad, negative, stupid, bastard, dumb ass, ugly, evil, slow-minded and fearing that if I would say this out to them they would retaliate me or not like me and within that not realizing that there is the original worry of not being liked, loved by myself and then wanting others to like and love me because then I would judge myself being myself as exactly what I judged others to and then fearing from remaining who I've defined myself to be and not realizing that the solution is to let go these judgements and realize that why I need to be liked and loved by others and what is the reason of having the idea of not loving myself and then seeing that how I doubt and fear myself is because I had no idea what is real, practical love and within that realizing that I have no idea who I really am and why and what I am doing and in that realizing the solution is to slow down within and stop first to see all this through within self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I did block my direct expression because of the fear of being angry, frustrated within my voice, expression because this is what I've accepted myself to be within, thus filtering it, 'civilizing myself' and limiting myself not daring to raise my voice even when it is required, even when it could be natural self-expression so by that giving permission to automatically not being able to express myself directly based on fear, fear of judgement by myself projected to others.

I forgive myself that I have not realized the practical solution to stop existing within frustration, anger and letting go the relationship within myself by definitions, worry, fear and purifying myself word by word and thus giving myself the opportunity to use my voice directly as myself as sound expression as life word by word equal as one as myself here.

I see, realize, understand that all what I was worried about and memorized as fear from failure is in the past, I am in a different scenario, I directly approach, express and learn and if required immediately stop, see/realize/understand and forgive myself and engage and change.

When and as I see I have uncertainty or worry about speaking up - I question within me - is this really me, is this automatic, is this from silence and direct? - and if yes, I express myself, I trust myself and I focus to expressing myself here, I am here physically, voicing myself with breath, sound, body within clarity. If I see it is of fear, worry what I see within - I stop, I breathe I realize I am not my memory, I am physical, I am sound, I am movement here and I focus to how to speak properly breath by breath.

When and as I worry of not speaking up, I see what I fear of losing and then I decide to let it go and I trust myself within deciding of speaking up or not and if yes then I speak, if not, I remain silent within and without.
If I fear losing something by not speaking up - I create separation, friction, energy which then I give permission to possess me as thoughts, feelings, emotions so instead of that I simply stop myself for a moment and I speak or let the moment go and remain here.

When and as I worry of not being able to speak properly or appropriately - I see what is the judgement, the comparison, the jealousy what I defined myself as inferior based on fear and I see practically what I want to express and how to do it and I do it and I express myself here.

When and as I worry of not speaking properly I stop comparing myself and I give myself the opportunity to enjoy myself expressing, learning, expanding and applying my direction within speaking here.

When and as I worry of not speaking properly - I check the reaction - I question the reaction, the thought - is it valid, relevant, is something what can be used for perfecting myself for instance worry of speaking loud enough or too loud and then adjusting it or if fear of not speaking the words properly then I direct myself to focus to speak the words properly but if there is emotion, worry, fear - I stop it, I see it's origin and I hear it, I open myself to consider all who I am and not accept any fear and expressing myself here.

I commit myself to let go all fear from not speaking up by considering what I want to speak when and see is it direct self-expression as not from thought, fear, worry, emotion and if not then I speak it and trust myself, and if it is from thought, worry, fear, then I stop myself and let it go and see what it comes from and I am stopping that as well within myself - this I develop as who I am naturally until I am here as consistency, clarity within when to speak and when not to speak and how to speak and what to speak.

I commit myself to let go all past based on worry and fear from speaking, it's consequence and I allow myself to enjoy expressing my voice here.

I commit myself to purify and re-align all words within myself as life, as direct physical self-expression as the voice, the sound, the act, the physical action within equality and oneness with all what is here as myself.

I commit myself to slow down within when I speak and realize that for being able to speak here within clarity, I do not need to move fast in my mind - that only pulls my attention from here, where is the body with and as what I speak and realizing that when my mind is not aligned with my physical body here, it is fear so I slow down, I breathe, I realize the fear I've accepted to give into and I stop, realign, act immediately.

Recently was a very cool hangout showing up how Self-forgiveness can assist and support one within facing self-limitation:

• Desteni I Process Lite - Participant Review

[JTL 150] Need for fight and win part 3 - Correction

Budapest - Ferenciek tere

Continuing the last post with Self-corrective statements to re-align myself with physical, living being to prevent mind consciousness to influence, stimulate, move me to explore what is here as reality within self-responsibility as the power of and as myself to remain consistent as the principle for what is best for all.
This writing is a step in the 7 Years of Journey to Life wherein we take responsibility for ourselves, our mind, our life and write the patterns to decompose, investigate and ask what is best for ourselves and for all and apply Forgiveness for and as self to change instead of blame, justify or hide. Sharing our inner mind we all can realize that each human is facing similar process to realize, stop, re-align and express within the interest of LIFE. I walk my process from thinking, doubt, fear into living, expression, action and let go all definitions, reactions which limit me to stand up for myself, for all life equally.
Hear some common sense from Bernard Poolman on Thinking and Secret Mind:

Mind and Consciousness can not be trusted as it is already infused with the starting point of self-interest, survival, fear, judgment, polarity, separation which blocks us to see what is really here to understand and be able to change as ourselves as equal as one to live a dignified life. So today I write about facing power, the definitions of power, reactions to power and how to correct I prepare myself to LIVE this correction in and as the moment. Writing is the tool which is being used for humans for scripting, screenplays, business plans, sales procedures, political speeches etc - so it is common sense to apply writing for Self-investigation, Self-correction, Self-commitment as well. Writing is PHYSICAL ACTION which is already SELF-MOVEMENT - not as thinking in the mind which is NOT SELF-MOVEMENT but self-acceptance, self-suppression. So this is why it is supporting.

For those who would like to live the real alchemy of words, to change worlds of and as self - there is this free online course for Self-realization:

DESTENI I PROCESS LITE

Also Desteni forum is for asking while studying the enormous amount of Desteni Material. I've got so much support that without it probably I would be lost or already dead by all the delusions I've participated within. So Check it out, I write Self-corrective statements here:

When and as I try to virtualize, model situations what happened before by thinking and reacting to thoughts and allowing these thoughts to just come and being stimulated to - I realize I am not present, I am not here, I am accepting already manifested nature of self-acceptance of neglect my responsibility for all what is here as who I am as life therefore I stop, I stop allowing thoughts, I focus to physical, I breathe, I let it go and re-align myself with what is physical, common sense within inner silence, remaining undefined.

When and as I define power as negative, avoidable, judging power with the polarity of thoughts, I realize I use the self-reflection tool which is the mind to define who I am so I stop, I breathe, I let all judgements go and I trust myself within common sensical doable application.

When and as I fear from power, from fame, exposure or wealth because remembering that I had this fear when I was kid and I was reactive and automatic I realize I am here today with the starting point of all life - I embrace everything what is here and I re-align myself with and as my human physical body and within my reality I apply common sense, I use simple mathematics such as 1+1=2 to accumulate which is good for all participants considered equally.

When and as I fear from something to do or face and try to imagine in order to prepare myself for facing it - I stop myself and I check "Do I have fear within my starting point?" And if so then I apply Self-forgiveness, I apply self-correction immediately and I script myself to prevent going into fear and I consider what would be the best outcome without thinking which if I feel not capable of then I use the tool of writing, I write everything out and I empty my mind and I understand what is here breath by breath and then I apply common sense within the consideration of all participants.

When and as I face possibility of expanding financially I let go all definitions and fear and worry of what if I would use this to serve only my self-interest and disregard all with excuses and justification as I see that financial status within my life is what determines my ability to move effectively within the system so it does not change my starting point automatically, only if I allow so or if I allow myself to be influenced so, and for that I trust myself for applying Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness, Self-correction, Self-commitment to live according to principle as 'What is best for all'.

When and as I judge people that they are wealthy and selfish and I feel envy I stop and re-align myself with common sense, physical, here and I realize it is not about how I judge others but what I can do and how I can live and who I really am and directing myself to accumulate within each breath and every single action.

When and as I define myself according to experiences and use experiences to tell me who I am I stop, I re-align myself into and as my human physical body, I breathe, I direct myself to stop, stop entirely until I am empty, clear, dark within and nothing moves me but I take responsibility to remain here, remain directive, remain myself in experiences undefined, stable, consistent.

When and as I experience energy, energetic experiences compounding within me which I judge as these will and in fact already changing me who I am from consistent, same self here within starting point of and as life, breathing, physical, principled being - I realize I participate in the judgements, mind, following thoughts, allowing reactions to define me, so I stop, I stop myself, even if required I stop my human physical body to move and I give myself the moment of breathing, letting everything go which is not physical self here and re-align myself to accumulate consistency here.

When and as I worry about what to do towards those who has power, wealth, exposure, fame and stability within the system who I perceive as 'opposition' - I realize it is because I judge them, I judge myself, compare, polarize, define and react with fear which I stop, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not powerful, wealthy, famous enough instead acting, accumulating within common sense which is best for me and for all life.

When and as I face worry, anxiety, fear which I can not stop with breathing, letting go, immediate re-alignment I commit myself to note, schedule time, write out and apply the tools of self-investigation, self-forgiveness to explore what I am unable to stop and specifically why, how I've created a pattern what I've given permission to within myself to influence, direct me instead of myself being the directive principle here as self, unified, clear, empty yet expressing breath by breath.

When and as I face judgements within myself as dark, evil, selfish I realize it is of fear, of polarity, of self-definition according to memories, experiences which are not here, I am here as physical body, flesh as life which is just here so I let go all polarity judgements and consider what would be the best outcome for all participants here and apply common sense within practical application.

When and as I do not realize that within judgement of evil, dark, selfish I create friction with good, light, selfless, it is not real, it is only mind-game, virtualization, which I let go and focus to practical application, common sense and consider facts here.

When and as i judge people within thinking who are obsessed with positive, light, nice, love as being lost - I realize that judging them is the reflection of I am separating myself from them, which is the same - polarity as me and them instead of realizing that I am all what is here in all moments to I let go definitions, I consider which is the most practical to support all life equally and I act according to that within breathing without judgements.

When and as I feel myself being influenced by positivity and negativity of people and would start to accumulate judgements and energetic reactions within myself towards them - I realize it is only me, just me who is responsible, as I react, I give permission for perceive separation and therefore I stop myself, stop myself judging.

When and as I face things what is not the best for all life - I do not tolerate, I embrace and live acceptance and I investigate, I study, I learn and I find out what would be the most practical solution to apply without accepting abuse, without compromising my starting point as all life here.

When and as I define power as money, exposure, fame, wealth, I stop, I realize it is self-definition which I limit myself with within the polarity of the mind, and I realize that the only power I can have is living self-honesty, living for what is best for all breath by breath and accumulate which outcomes towards a world within what all life is being considered equally.

When and as I feel the need for win, for victory, for domination I realize it is because I've judged myself as being lost, battled, dominated, so I let go the definitions and I use common sense what would be the best practical solution to manifest a world within all can win even if it seems idealistic - I consider to the core of the problem, I investigate the most influential existing systems existing within humanity what directs the outcome and I find practical solutions to accumulate which is best for all participants.

When and as I experience the energetic rush, adrenaline, feeling of winning, dominating and ruling - I stop, I let go the energy and I breathe, feel the body and I remain here, physical and consider what would be the best for all participants.

When and as I experience people who are obsessed with provocation, stimulation, winning - I remain here, directive, clear, present and I apply common sense and seeing it as non personal, even when I am being targeted - I remain practical, stable, calm and even if it is required to leave - I remain myself, consistent, stable and breath by breath I am here and consider what is the best outcome for all participants here.

When and as I do see within empty mind, clear, dark inner self that I do require to use tension and raise my voice - I remain here, directive, I do not define myself, I do not define other participants here - I trust myself and I prevent myself to go into self-definition according to experience and I express myself and use tension, voice until it is common sensically the best for all participants here.

When and as I do see within clear, present, empty mind that I do require physical power to protect myself or others - I remain calm, present, directive and I apply common sense in action and remain the same, principled, physical.

When and as I face anger and hatred I realize if I react to it - it is of fear - so I ensure I remain here, physical, present, directive and I act immediately and stand up for not suppressing anything abuse and if required I do leave without judging myself as defeated but considering what is the best for all life to live breath by breath here.

that's it about facing power for today

I've listened this very supportive EQAFE interview today, these are the real education for those who stand up as life as responsible for get direct support how to live within understanding in our crazy world today.

[JTL 144] Breaking the habit of going virtual

Continuing on the previous post, starting a Self-correction from childhood, my early gaming times wherein I start with investigating why in the first place I've turned totally into gaming while disregarding all which is physical reality here what then became a basic pillar of my personality. This first post might not seem connected with gaming directly, but I start it here and in later posts on will be continued, connected.

Problem

Going into virtual - thinking, feeling, while in reality not really moving. This seems to be more and more limited while in and as the moment reality does not wait for me while I process based on memories, past, thoughts, associations, reactions - very sometimes this can work when I use this as visualization and self-intimacy - but mostly, in reality this is in fact a prison - while I am busy with the virtual - backchat, mind, feeling positive, negative - moody swings up and down - reality goes forward and my reaction to it, a conclusion of internal process - will not 'match', will not 'reach' the moment - I can only be in and as the moment here - if I am empty within to embrace it and act immediately. To recognize this disadvantage - one requires some self-honesty, self-investigation for which WRITING is the most practical tool. For that Desteni I Process Free Online course can give a great support.
Starting (continuing) from looooooooooooooooong before.

First of all - we were poor - so while other kids went to paid bus tours or summer camps - I had to stay at home and often work around animals, garden, fields, household. While other kids had toys and gadgets - I was glad when I had something comfortable(mostly cheap chinese) so soon I've learned to use my vivid imagination to spend my time with when I had the chance - before computers.

Secondly I was a scary boy, I've experienced things at nights what I could not explain and never spoke about to anyone - endless falling in the universe, no stability but constantly feeling up and down within experiences I really felt like I am losing my mind - I wrote about these experiences before, I just mention here but I created the fixation to feel positive to overcome negative.

I've compared and judged myself with other and what I've seen in media - I was very white-skinned and thin, not like the others - and no one explained to me how things are as I am normal - also teachers and my mum even encouraged me to think myself as different - they always focused to how smart, clever, fast-thinking I am, so I had the impression that math and computer skills is more important than being physically strong and present here - others drove motorcycles, after cars which I was not really interested in - so I read, programmed and gamed.

Gaming was the way I could be good with easily - I had the ability to practice, perfect myself without consequences(other than time) so with persistence I became good with computers, basically with all machines.

Also I was not really good with feelings and emotions - I did not realize how those are in fact self-created from thoughts and images, energies and reactions - but what I realized is that by having moods, feelings, becoming emotional - I've lost the only ability with I was good with, which was logic and clear conclusions.

Especially when seeing most of the others had trouble with these.

Also within the culture, the image and likeness of manhood seemed like clear mind is great, emotions and empathy is the mark of the weak - "Real man does never cry" - like soldiers on battlefield I've felt myself sometimes.

Those seemed so easy for me - no emotion, no feeling, except when I was overwhelmed, sometimes I had to let it out - when others bullied me, family members, other kids, even teachers, I've felt frustrated and I exerted it to my little sister or I had the 'need' to stimulate myself within gaming, especially enjoying the killing and dieing in games.

I have written about the childhood fear points within these post about a year ago:

• http://talamon.blogspot.com/2013/02/jtl-day-13-stopping-reacting-to-fear.html
• http://talamon.blogspot.com/2013/03/jtl-14-stopping-reacting-to-fear-from.html
• http://talamon.blogspot.com/2013/03/jtl-15-stopping-fear-from-childhood.html

I continue from here towards Self-correction, Self-commitment

Self-forgiveness if applied within self-honesty is the act of god as ourselves as creator, creation, created as equal as one which one takes responsibility for and re-aligns with what is best for oneself - and for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself more powerful within thoughts, feelings, emotions than directly here in and as the physical reality here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to weaknesses and strengths and accepting myself who I've judged myself in the past and never questioning what I can actually stop judging and start changing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as impatient, meaning not being able to think more than one action/reaction at a time and wanting to change myself in one moment and when not being able to then defining that it is and who I am and then accepting it immediately and never considering patience, consistency, accumulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within the experiences defining those as negative because not being able to define and within the fear of unknown I've allowed myself to fear to lose myself as not being able to define myself: defining myself as losing myself.

I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to realize that within the expression of acting, exploring undefined there is nothing to fear as all what I entail, experience, express, face is myself directly here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to myself, my mind to constantly define, judge, categorize, polarize and within that not realizing that it is a mathematical equation within which I accept myself to exist as and then in order to maintain status quo I have to participate within energy games, energetic experiences, reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions in order to feel myself stable, otherwise I would face the unknown, undefined, which I've defined as dark, fearful, deep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop an automatic tendency to become attracted and interested within the self-defined positive experience while not realizing that I am in fact allowing it within the starting point of negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from unknown, fear from losing myself and within that not realizing that I fear from the lose of ability to define, judge, react with energy, words because then I am unable to stimulate, in fact manipulate my state of mind, my state of beingness in order to control myself in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the automatic tendency to virtualize, always simulate with words and energy within myself to have a feeling, a reaction, a perceived movement within me to stimulate my state of beingness by having a secluded room within myself as the mind wherein I can do more than in the physical, I can imagine, I can think, I can feel, have emotions without apparently affecting my physical state of beingness, expression, living and not realizing that in fact it is influencing, limiting, directing my physical life here without understanding it, without being able to stop it - in fact myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my inner reactions such as thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactions, imaginations within my mind to computer games as both seems to be not real, seems to be like replayable without consequences and never realizing the fact that with both I actually skip being aware moments here, I disregard what is actually happening here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define experience, energetic reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, imaginations as more important, more real than actual physical reality, physical events, physical consequences, common sense here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to praise energetic experience within myself more than what is here in and as the physical because with inner energetic experiences I can repeat, loop, echo the same things over and over and over again within the belief that it is freedom and not realizing that it is timelooping, not expanding, not changing within the starting point of fear of unknown, fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of myself, fear of fear itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard my physical life here within the judgment that it is not good, not who I want to be because I've compared my life with others life, my appearance, clothing, toys I've had with others what have and I wanted those, I envied them and I felt powerless because could not get those what seemed as value within school without me ever questioning the value system I've accepted to follow and be identified by.

I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to realize that I've defined myself with lack of power, lack of money and within envy wanting what others had and I've defined it as not right that some has what I can not have and justifying it with that I am more smart, more mature and more capable for those things to have than others.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that within the lack of specific words to live out I've defined a hollowness, a need, a desire to fulfill within me in order to stop the experience of negative energies coming from the thoughts, definitions, backchats, judgments wherein I've defined myself as valuable which I could not see manifested so then I've became obsessed with self-stimulation with thoughts, feelings, emotions to feel being fulfilled by the words I've defined myself lacking.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that within experiences I wanted to have what I did not have, I desired to fell what I could not feel and justified it with the righteousness of that if others have that I should have as well equally.

I forgive myself that I have never considered common sense within seeing what is constantly present as my own human physical body here, which is always busy LIVING, BREATHING which if I am not aware of I expose myself as being lost within consciousness experiences which are of thoughts, feelings, emotions and by that not being aware what is practical, what is best for me, for others.

Solution

When and as I experience myself going into reaction, fear, thinking, I realize I have the starting point of experience, of fear of loss, fear of fear, which I let go, I stop, I breathe, I re-align myself here, physically where I share reality with all other equally.

When and as I go into virtual mind to model and try to find out what is best before acting, expressing - I realize I use past, I limit myself based on the doubt of I can not 'perform directly', so then I stop, I let go all fear, all worry and doubt and I trust myself within practical direct expression here - even if it means I do not act perfect first time but I stand up and act and express without judgment in all moment equally.

When and as I doubt myself which then I try to equate with positive thinking, energetic stimulation to recover my balance, trust to do something - I stop, I realize with the starting point of fear, doubt I am not myself but of fear as consciousness which is not real but the result of self-dishonesty, so I completely stop participating, I breathe, I re-align myself here and I express.

When and as I see a pattern unfolding within my expression, reactions which I am not fully aware of - I stop it and I investigate, I question myself, I look at myself with common sense and develop self-intimacy to see is it really who I am as Life or it has the starting point of fear and if so then I stop it, I forgive myself, I commit myself to stop act according to fear and start living directly without thoughts, feelings and emotions as direct self-expression, undefined, unlimited breath by breath.

I commit myself to stop going into virtual mind-mode wherein I can think about things instead of acting immediately by understanding it is of fear, of lack of self-trust, which if I accept will accumulate, therefore each time I participate within thinking - I stop and I find practical ways to realize the points behind it and slow down within to be able to prevent myself to think and act breath by breath.

I commit myself to let go all the fear of making mistakes, fear of fear and fear of failure, fear of pain and I trust myself and act and express each moment equally as direct expression undefined.

I commit myself to equate myself within and as the mind when I see that I accept something judged as negative and then wanting to balance out with chasing things I've allowed to automatically define as positive and I let go the addiction of energy of duality of thoughts.

I commit myself to walk through each pattern I constitute as personality and let go all fear step by step and push, birth, live myself into and as this physical existence directly within each breath.

I commit myself to walk the process of living self-forgiveness of each thought, feeling, emotion which I participated until I am here with nothing in and as the mind participating but directly living with awareness of what is here.

I commit myself to stop being addicted to thoughts and allowing and giving permission to my mind to "shoot up" thoughts from the darkness of unconscious into the light of my conscious mind without me being aware of it, only reacting to it and accepting it as who I am - instead of investigating, slowing down, bringing myself here and use common sense and develop practical self-honesty to stop each pattern of thoughts and the feeling of energetic addiction until I am clear, empty, yet here, expressive, directive in all moments, breath by breath.

I commit myself to develop practical patience within what I accumulate within understanding of how space and time and myself working in order to stop the mind of what I gave permission to automatize and limit myself to hide from facing the darkness and fear I've defined who I am and let go all definitions and live without the constant judgments and be here and remain here.

I commit myself to use the tools of Desteni providing as myself naturally with no reason and actually exploring self-enjoyment within letting go all patterns I've allowed myself to physically manifest and became one by one until I am here.

So this might seem too abstract - I bring it to the current path I walk - learning driving car. It starts to go better, so I am not fully stressed, stimulated with fear of failure of I crash in each moment with what I've allowed myself to keep 'present' - I become more relaxed, and within that the basic personality of me comes up - thin-king - going virtual - which I do not want - especially until I am not consistent within effective, safe driving.

I take self-direction and decompose the matrix of personality which through I never stopped fear but balanced out with energetic experiences. So I re-align - step by step.

 For instance when I drive and with the instructor near me - I had a doubt - wherein I did not remain here and use common sense or ask directly but I went into thinking about - shall I, should I, I might, - and in that one second I went into virtual mode which is obviously not practical in a 4-laned traffic going with 60kmph. Exactly that's why I never wanted to drive before as seeing how many times I shift dimensions what seemed fast but while physical time goes it is not safe - and I'd rather avoided this point - until nowadays wherein I stabilize, I de-program and re-align myself to be able to remain here in each moment.

So when and as I am not sure, within driving I directly express, I ask, I stop, I use brake, I stop within and push here myself directly.

I commit myself to go stop myself going into thinking, virtualizing, wondering while driving car and expressing myself and remaining always here and directing the car which is part of the traffic, physics, as I am responsible for what I do.

Reward

I stop each patterns what brings me into the virtual word-based energy mirror as the mind to see what I scattered about myself around many dimensions while here in direct reality I am not directing, I am not here, I am not aware - so by writing out, saying and applying in my daily living the words I take responsibility for: I become more consistent, present, directive while being undefined yet constantly be aware of what is here and prevent manifesting consequences what is not the best for me and others.

Desteni Artists

I let go the memories what I react to automatically with judgment of negative and positive and I allow, direct myself to live in and as the moment.

I realize that the fear of negative, the fear of not having, the fear of being not good enough, the fear of myself, fear of consequences is not required - and not required to balance out with positive energies but I can understand and stop each fear with common sense and patience, practical application of self-investigation, self-correction.

I suggest to study this blog:

• http://practical-desteni.blogspot.hu/2013/10/who-i-am-as-patience.html

Also as the links around in the words of this post - is to link EQAFE , which is a unique, outstanding Self-support within realizing how we operate in the mind to be able to stop to assist ourselves for stop the inequality within ourselves and in the world as equal as one.

to be continued

[JTL 142] Gaming addiction support part 3 - Self-forgiveness II.

Continuing on [JTL 140] Stopping gaming addiction support part 1

Self correction on [JTL 141] Gaming addiction support part 2 - Self-forgiveness 

 Why I bother one may ask? Just research: 
http://www.spike.com/articles/id98jf/the-top-10-deaths-caused-by-video-games
 
 For some entertainment, resting, fun, PLAY - gaming is cool, but when it takes over one's life while disregarding real life responsibilities - it is a problem and if some faces difficulties to direct this point, to stop the energetic addiction towards gaming - it is suggested to write it through and apply self-forgiveness to assist and support oneself to stop self being directed by self-accepted judgments, energies, experiences and take responsibility for all what is here.

By listening the Gaming Death research interviews I am available to see so much points in relation to the topic - if one can invest into that could assist very much within seeing through the illusion of excitement of all day gaming.

 When and as I feel like I MUST game, when I experience the urge that I have to disregard anything else - I slow down, I breathe - I feel my physical body, I breathe until I am able to consider real life priorities and act with common sense.

When and as I realize I want to play computer game but I have more important things to do - I check my tasks, calendar, scheduling and I find a time slot when I am able to play without any worry, disregard, suppression and I will play with full of myself without judgment.

When and as I have excuses that by scheduling gaming while there are more important things to do I lose spontaneous fun - I ask myself with self-honesty that do I justify facing something what I've defined as less fun? And if the answer is yes - I let it go and find practical ways to prioritize my things to do based on common sense and self-honesty.

When and as I feel like I can not stop gaming and having the excuses that 'one more level', 'one more hour', 'one more life', 'one more checkpoint' - I realize that the consequences will accumulate with each procrastination and eventually I will face everything I accept and allow, this time the energetic experience to tell me what to do and when to do - so I stop, I slow down within, I breathe, I consider my responsibilities within common sense.

When and as I try to manipulate myself to not LIVE my self-commitments such as supporting educational, financial, political change within the world by having the excuse that I do not have to push that much or only this time I play a bit more and then next time I will work on those points what I have committed to participate, to move, to become and support change within this world - I realize I am losing presence, self-direction and accumulate lack of self-will, lack of self-discipline so I stop fucking around and I consider what I can do today for accumulate changing myself and the system to manifest a world which is best for all in and as this physical, civilization system.

When and as I define gaming and playing as more important than facing, learning, expanding myself - I realize principled living as who I am as decision I walk and also realize and gaming is resting, entertainment, fun - definitely NOT priority, so I re-align myself here with and as one breath to live my priorities according to principle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define computer gaming as positive, entertainment as priority and defining myself as playing games as positive while doing commitments as negative and not realizing that the original judgment I accept as myself fearing from not being positive enough, what I let go, walk through unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use self-manipulation to tell myself, define gaming as bad, worthless and shameful to be lost within it and feeling energetic, emotional by judging myself to use that energy to stop playing and not realizing that it is not myself here directly with and as I stop gaming, but with self-manipulation, self-stimulation with energy, therefore as the energy goes off - I will not be able to stop myself gaming.

I forgive myself that I have never considered how I actually manipulate myself into energetic states what to I have given permission to stimulate me to act certain things with thinking, feeling, being emotional and never realizing that whatever I do, did, will do according to thoughts, feelings, emotions is not who I really am as it is only of self-manipulation to do things what I allowed myself to not being able to do directly as myself here, where I am, who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value and worth into computer games graphics, images, visuals, more than real, physical world and not realizing that only within and as my mind I experience this energies by automatic, fast judgments of the game which I valued as more than myself here, therefore defining experience more than facts, more than myself here without me being aware of it in every moment of every breath.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that being obsessed with computer games is because suppressed the energetic experiences of missing gaming, missing spent time within the game's story, the 3d environment, the characters of the game, the action, strategy, what I've defined as values for myself, I've defined as awesome, very cool, interesting, fascinating.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within self-judgment to define computer- and console- and any other electronic games as priority to have them, to play with them, to go through the whole game.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within computer gaming I define games as more important than facing real life resistances, my accepted and allowed physical real world issues such as poverty, abuse, extinction.

I forgive myself that Ih ave accepted and allowed myself to suppress my allowed accumulation of needing to play games and thinking meanwhile that I can suppress everything and anything without consequences.

to be continue, meantime check out other blogs of walking through self-limitations:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

Learn how to walk Self-forgiveness as the most effective tool to walk through self-limitations:
Desteni I Process LITE online FREE course 

[JTL 136] Slowing down within part 1

Desteni I Process LITE free Course for Self

Re-establishing regular blogging.

To not write daily was not decision, the decision is to write continuously.

To prevent accumulation of self-acceptance I commit myself to walk the 7 years of Journey to Life. Find out more about Journey to Life here in this video:

So first: slowing down.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that when I am not slowed down within, I am not aware how the mind moves, influences, directs me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized when I am not aware how the mind moves as following it without question.

I forgive myself that I have not realized the common sense to slow down within until I am not aware how I give permission to the mind to influence, move me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized all the dimensions I am existing within what makes me move faster than being aware of what exactly I participate within.

I forgive myself that I have not realized why I have the tendency to move fast within by energy, thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to be possessed with the idea of moving fast, speeding up within based on a worry, fear that I do not move fast enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not differentiate moving within and as the mind and moving within and as the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have not applied self-forgiveness, self-correction, self-commitment when I am aware of that I exist as the mind, moving as the mind, meaning being lost within consciousness as ideas of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that what I really want is to stop participate in the mind requires constant, consistent application.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I can rest, stop applying from the inner slowing down, stopping to push, physically apply within the belief that I can exist within polarity of applying myself and then not instead of realizing that I can change to be the constant, consistent application of stopping.

This is not yet specific, I go down with the actual physical participations.

I commit myself to continue writing Journey to Life as it is supporting and assisting me and others as well to walk from the mind-starting point to actual physical life starting point.

I commit myself to walk through the points I see within myself as self-dishonesty what I take responsibility for to stop and correct within absolute Self-honesty.

The energetic experiences what to I react - to lack of energy and tiredness - not stopping what makes me tired in and as the mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions but using thought patterns, reactions, feelings, emotions to feel energetic and overcome the already manifested energetic tiredness.

I forgive myself that I have not been allowed myself to be self-honest with myself to the degree to be able to see when I am as the physical is tired and when I am tired of the mind as self-definition as feeling lack of energy.

Also negative, positive: how much I give permission to the mind to feel good when something happens what I've defined as good.

For instance when someone smiles at me what I perceive as kindness, positive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel positive and good when someone smiles at me by thinking, believing, feeling that I am being liked, I am good, I am alright regardless anything else than the fact that someone smiled at me, disregarding all other facts existing here.

Energetic tiredness from energy taking away from the body to the mind - and when feeling tired, wanting to 'extract' more energy from the body to the mind.

Energetic excitedness by entertainment, which is stimulation. Check the writing on Creation's Journey to Life about Stimulation to get perspective.

Within this end of december I allowed myself to go to the enertainment stimulation even with the price of disregarding commitments, which then I reacted to as a some sort of compressed energetic experience of shame which I've suppressed more with more entertainment, especially watching movie, playing computergame, going out with people and already being aware that by disregarding what I've decided to do deliberately will cause frustration and self-judgment.

Yet I was writing, not every day, but it was unfinished and the tendency to share only something which I value, see as some sort of 'perfect', so I did not share.

As Sunette pointed out recently, even when a point is not fully walked through - and to share that: is already movement, which I did not consider.

Also these points more likely seemed as random rantings as the next day I did not continue that point but wrote an other - which I did not fully walked through as well.

Self-correction on 'slowing down'

Starting with shame:

When and as I experience even the slightest shame, especially with the commitments I've decided myself to do and not doing so - I realize this will compound unless I stop reacting with shame which means I am exactly being aware what I should do, exactly being aware of what I do not do and judging myself with self-definition of shame instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that this is deliberate self-deception and will result to more shame and more self-judgment, more thought-pattern and inner reactions, frustrations, which will make me uncertain, unsure, doubtful and undermining self-trust.

When and as I am aware of which is the reason of shame within - I apply common sense and stop participating within what I react with self-judgment.

When and as I feel shame and not cool about not writing my Process blog within consistency, I realize the solution to stop the shame is to write my blog within consistency.

When and as I am not conistent within regular blogging, I stop judging myself, and I prevent creating shame by actually writing and sharing my blog.

When and as I worry, fear from being not understood, judged by those who do not wallk Process of Self-forgiveness, I realize this is actually assisting and supporting me and others within realizing responsibility to stop inner reactions, emotions and fears and focus to practical living, to be able to take responsibility for ourselves and others around us as well.

When and as I worry and fear from not having enough time to write my blog within consistency, I realize I fear from not doing something which is less priority my blogging, so I should schedule it and do it with self-direction without any inner judgment.

When and as I see/realize I accept and allow self-judgment - I am within in fear from not changing myself but energetically stimulating by separation of judging, judged, judgment and try to manipulate myself by the energetic experience to motivate me which is unnecessary and slow and in fact not practical.

When and as I see myself judging my writing and my blogging - I realize it is not self-honest, I stop the judgment and understand why I judged and I stop myself and breathe here.

I commit myself to slow down to a degree within to be able to be aware of all breaths, each, every single one and things coming up making me busy within to focus and react to - I investigate, understand and forgive and stop.

I commit myself to write my blog as much as I can, but at least weekly three, even when the post is not fully walked through, but sharing the movement and accumulating consistency.

I commit myself to take time to review myself within in terms of resistances and my relationship to commitment of blogging and vlogging(which is for the same reason) and use common sense and practical application to make physically able to write it and publish.

When and as I see that I have so much resistance to actually not share something - I share the fact that I have resistance for sharing and sharing that walk I walk through all resistances.

I will continue with commitments and self-forgiveness on slowing down within and on my prejudices about principled living vs delusion of freedom in relation to energy.

Check out Living Income Guaranteed
Check out Desteni I Process PRO courses
Check out EQAFE Self-perfection audiobooks