Tuesday, June 24, 2014

[JTL Day 190] Practical movement when losing ground

I am specifying on the previous post: when experiencing losing ground.
When and as I experience losing ground - I see/realize/understand that it is because I've went into my mind and reacted and the experience of things becoming too fast is indicating I am reacting faster than being really aware of it thus I slow down, I focus to what I actually do and I prioritize.

When and as I am within movement in a new environment, with new people, with new challenges using new skills I focus to practical application, I take the time literally to know myself within the new situation instead of fearing, worrying, reacting or pre-defining it or myself, the experience and within that awareness of I am here - I express myself breath by breath with giving myself the chance to explore the new what is here, around me, within me with self-trust, self-direction, self-consistency.

When and as I face something what I've previously defined as difficult, challenging, complicated or painful - I prepare myself and I let all go within my mind and I realize that when reacting with fear, judgement, I am separated from what I am going to face thus I stop, I allow myself to stop the separation, I allow myself to be vulnerable, open, present and clear within.

When and as I worry of people would judge me if I explore and practically manifest a principled living wherein practically being scheduled, being directive and disciplined - I realize that I judge myself, if others would react, I would have the answer that I am specifying effectiveness, practicality and accumulation and thus I do not need to fear and within that I let the worry go and I stand within clarity and if somebody would ask or react - I state it clearly, calmly, directly what I do and why.

When and as I am among other people, I realize it is me who I can decide how I act with them and I decide to be the same disciplined, clear, calm, expressive alone, with few and with many as equal as one and whatever comes up I stop, I let go, I forgive, I change myself until this is clear, unwavering, stable.

When and as I see myself participating within discussion with others what would not support me, what I would see as irrelevant, not really deciding the time to spend on it - I decide - shall I intervene, express myself to change the topic or shall I leave and based on that I can stay or go - speak or remain silent within self-direction, presence without thinking, without worry, without compounding uncomfortability for spending time on something what is not priority while there are things what I could do.

When and as I would question the discussion I participate within with other/others and considering time constraint and priority - I see into me and check is it of fear or is it practical common sense, am I self-honest or I give into the reaction and want to stop that reaction indirectly instead of stopping the fear - and if I see reaction/fear within me - first I stop that and then decide.

When and as I would worry on people would see me as control freak or robot while specifying my time spending on having fun and enjoying time or entertainment I check 'Do I have fear?' in one moment and if so then I stop myself, re-align myself to be here, in and as the body, present, consider what is priority and apply common sense and also consider that having fun or enjoying being with others in fact is not a bad thing - not even good if it is self-expression, seeing within self-honesty that is it cool to have this moment for enjoyment or there is something what rather I should do as priority.

When and as I would go into having fun, feeling good, entertainment, friendship all the time - I check what is the reason I need that all the time and what is beyond, behind this experience as the strive for 'feel good, and having fun' occupation and check that do I escape from something, do I suppress an other experience and if so then I face it as it is in fact me and I forgive, stop and change.

When and as I am with my partner and facing some point what makes me react or makes her react I do not judge this as 'not worthy' and thus accumulating into an experience of 'wasting time' but I actually see how it could be solved and remain within agreement to not face this conflict and what is the compromise I would have to take to stop that and is that self-honestly acceptable or not and if not then I directly communicate and if required leave.

When and as I feel myself overwhelmed and worried on not progressing with the things I want to do and this friction, energetic experience compounds and want to do these things but within that not knowing which one first and wanting to do all at the same time I stop doing it, slow down within my mind to the point of be able to face and deal with each point sequentially and make a priority list within practical physical time scheduling without overloading, overstressing myself and start doing it and I realize it is the accumulation and consistency what makes progression, not the relentless haste.

When and as I do something and in the meantime feeling or experiencing doubt about shall I do this or something else because of maybe the other thing would be more important or priority - I stop and consider what shall I do first or how practically schedule my time without go into self-doubt, thinking or worry, remaining within clarity, presence, direction, naturally, calmly and I decide and I act and trust myself.

When and as I do something and meanwhile thinking about something to do or having ideas of other things - I stop myself being distracted - if required -seeing it within practical common sense - I make a note and I progress with the point but I do not stop it and I discipline myself doing it with full of my beingness and not give into the energetic temptation of positive and negative energies of judging what I do or what I do not do - and if energies would arise by judgement - I stop it and I realign myself here, physical, directive immediately and not allowing thoughts, doubts to compound.

I commit myself to practically correct myself within action, within relationships with other humans and within scheduling, prioritizing, getting things done without distraction, without doubt, expressing myself unwaveing, undefined, consistent, calm, effective, breath by breath.

I commit myself to learn myself do everything breath by breath and teaching my beingness how to let go the energetic mind and live each breath with my presence, with my direction, with my self without conflict, without fear, without doubt.

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