Friday, December 27, 2013

[JTL 136] Slowing down within part 1

Desteni I Process LITE free Course for Self
Re-establishing regular blogging.

To not write daily was not decision, the decision is to write continuously.

To prevent accumulation of self-acceptance I commit myself to walk the 7 years of Journey to Life. Find out more about Journey to Life here in this video:

So first: slowing down.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that when I am not slowed down within, I am not aware how the mind moves, influences, directs me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized when I am not aware how the mind moves as following it without question.

I forgive myself that I have not realized the common sense to slow down within until I am not aware how I give permission to the mind to influence, move me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized all the dimensions I am existing within what makes me move faster than being aware of what exactly I participate within.

I forgive myself that I have not realized why I have the tendency to move fast within by energy, thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to be possessed with the idea of moving fast, speeding up within based on a worry, fear that I do not move fast enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not differentiate moving within and as the mind and moving within and as the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have not applied self-forgiveness, self-correction, self-commitment when I am aware of that I exist as the mind, moving as the mind, meaning being lost within consciousness as ideas of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that what I really want is to stop participate in the mind requires constant, consistent application.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I can rest, stop applying from the inner slowing down, stopping to push, physically apply within the belief that I can exist within polarity of applying myself and then not instead of realizing that I can change to be the constant, consistent application of stopping.

This is not yet specific, I go down with the actual physical participations.

I commit myself to continue writing Journey to Life as it is supporting and assisting me and others as well to walk from the mind-starting point to actual physical life starting point.

I commit myself to walk through the points I see within myself as self-dishonesty what I take responsibility for to stop and correct within absolute Self-honesty.

The energetic experiences what to I react - to lack of energy and tiredness - not stopping what makes me tired in and as the mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions but using thought patterns, reactions, feelings, emotions to feel energetic and overcome the already manifested energetic tiredness.

I forgive myself that I have not been allowed myself to be self-honest with myself to the degree to be able to see when I am as the physical is tired and when I am tired of the mind as self-definition as feeling lack of energy.

Also negative, positive: how much I give permission to the mind to feel good when something happens what I've defined as good.

For instance when someone smiles at me what I perceive as kindness, positive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel positive and good when someone smiles at me by thinking, believing, feeling that I am being liked, I am good, I am alright regardless anything else than the fact that someone smiled at me, disregarding all other facts existing here.

Energetic tiredness from energy taking away from the body to the mind - and when feeling tired, wanting to 'extract' more energy from the body to the mind.

Energetic excitedness by entertainment, which is stimulation. Check the writing on Creation's Journey to Life about Stimulation to get perspective.

Within this end of december I allowed myself to go to the enertainment stimulation even with the price of disregarding commitments, which then I reacted to as a some sort of compressed energetic experience of shame which I've suppressed more with more entertainment, especially watching movie, playing computergame, going out with people and already being aware that by disregarding what I've decided to do deliberately will cause frustration and self-judgment.

Yet I was writing, not every day, but it was unfinished and the tendency to share only something which I value, see as some sort of 'perfect', so I did not share.

As Sunette pointed out recently, even when a point is not fully walked through - and to share that: is already movement, which I did not consider.

Also these points more likely seemed as random rantings as the next day I did not continue that point but wrote an other - which I did not fully walked through as well.

Self-correction on 'slowing down'

Starting with shame:

When and as I experience even the slightest shame, especially with the commitments I've decided myself to do and not doing so - I realize this will compound unless I stop reacting with shame which means I am exactly being aware what I should do, exactly being aware of what I do not do and judging myself with self-definition of shame instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that this is deliberate self-deception and will result to more shame and more self-judgment, more thought-pattern and inner reactions, frustrations, which will make me uncertain, unsure, doubtful and undermining self-trust.

When and as I am aware of which is the reason of shame within - I apply common sense and stop participating within what I react with self-judgment.

When and as I feel shame and not cool about not writing my Process blog within consistency, I realize the solution to stop the shame is to write my blog within consistency.

When and as I am not conistent within regular blogging, I stop judging myself, and I prevent creating shame by actually writing and sharing my blog.

When and as I worry, fear from being not understood, judged by those who do not wallk Process of Self-forgiveness, I realize this is actually assisting and supporting me and others within realizing responsibility to stop inner reactions, emotions and fears and focus to practical living, to be able to take responsibility for ourselves and others around us as well.

When and as I worry and fear from not having enough time to write my blog within consistency, I realize I fear from not doing something which is less priority my blogging, so I should schedule it and do it with self-direction without any inner judgment.

When and as I see/realize I accept and allow self-judgment - I am within in fear from not changing myself but energetically stimulating by separation of judging, judged, judgment and try to manipulate myself by the energetic experience to motivate me which is unnecessary and slow and in fact not practical.

When and as I see myself judging my writing and my blogging - I realize it is not self-honest, I stop the judgment and understand why I judged and I stop myself and breathe here.

I commit myself to slow down to a degree within to be able to be aware of all breaths, each, every single one and things coming up making me busy within to focus and react to - I investigate, understand and forgive and stop.

I commit myself to write my blog as much as I can, but at least weekly three, even when the post is not fully walked through, but sharing the movement and accumulating consistency.

I commit myself to take time to review myself within in terms of resistances and my relationship to commitment of blogging and vlogging(which is for the same reason) and use common sense and practical application to make physically able to write it and publish.

When and as I see that I have so much resistance to actually not share something - I share the fact that I have resistance for sharing and sharing that walk I walk through all resistances.

I will continue with commitments and self-forgiveness on slowing down within and on my prejudices about principled living vs delusion of freedom in relation to energy.

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