[JTL 138] Why I promote Living Income Guaranteed?

There are many reasons for why one can support/promote Living Income Guaranteed, there are quite some dedicated websites, articles, videos, I simply add my reasons here as I have found this as very important to get recognized, understood for what it means as the implementation of it depends on the people who realize their responsibility not only for themselves and their direct reality but all of humanity as a whole as well. This apparently hidden aspect of ourselves will be more and more revealed and realized as our accepted, maintained human system escalates to greater inequality and abuse and destruction.

Actually it is also important to realize the relationship of the individual human being with humanity as a whole as an equal and one relationship, which means what it describes: that any individual single human being is actually equal and one with all of humanity here - regardless of one is being aware of it or not - each individual is equally responsible for all what is here as we are all equally of the same substances, of the same Earth, of the same Life Essence.

Obviously it does not mean each humans has to do and be the same - but each has to understand the basic concept of our existence which is, surprisingly: give as you would like to receive: equality.

Is that even means you receive as you give? Well, first of all how we can expect something from others what we deny to even theoretically grant to them?

Is that totally cool to have food, shelter, water, health care while others do not receive such fundamental support for living?

THEN one can say he/she does not have the power, the knowledge, the directive to practically be able to CHANGE the current system towards a one which would give life-support unconditionally for all.

That would be a concept which Earth has not yet seen - but most people declare this to be impossible, because it is challenging and requires us to CHANGE individually.

THEN one can also say, there are levels of responsibilities which looks like ends with people's family, partner, even village or city by stating: "I am barely able to maintain myself, not even able to consider others, all others."

There are not much people who just can say: alright, I have worked enough, achieved enough, I am fulfilled, now I want to do other things, for other people  - no, most people do remain busy to maintain their living until their last breath.

If we see the human being as what it is: it's obvious that beyond healthy food, water, shelter, health care what forms one's beingness the most: is education, cultural imprints.

Teaching is the most important factor within a human's life if the basic needs are met - so it is obvious that how one is being educated will impact how will be able to see, be, move and actually 'live' in the system.

What is the system: our external creation, one and equal reflection of ourselves: System of rules and regulations, laws and order, mutual agreement among people what actually determines who can do what and actually how.

It is so fascinating to see - if I look back - I was not aware of these simple things - I was so busy in my head with all of my looping thoughts, trigger-able feelings, blurry emotions, avoiding my fears, chasing my desires being occupied so much to not be able to see the most simplistic points within existence which can be applied to all equally(needing food, shelter, health care, education).

I was also busy fighting for my own survival, working for my own goodies, but I was never satisfied really - as I was busy manifesting my dreams - I realized I can not participate effectively in the system as I feel like I am abusing others with the current money system rules - so my attempt was to leave the world/money-system, as I thought - "If I do not participate in it, then I am not 'responsible' so then I am really good, so then I can continue enjoying 'my life' ".

That did not work out - basically I was too split and conflicted mostly - so then I was wondering how to actually be content and satisfied - and then there was this idea of 'others' what I did not get really, only from 'my' point of view: I could only enjoy being 'myself' if I could be sure(by facts) that others are also enjoying their living.

This sounds like a free ticket in the asylum as this really fucks up the ego: only enjoy myself if I could did already all for others? In this world, with 7 billions of people how the dirty **** I could get that done?  Especially seeing the history and realizing no one did this before.

Then for a while I was screwed with mind-fucks like enlightenment and spirituality as there was this wild desire to be able to become effective, capable, stable, powerful, whole - so then I tried with those methods and eventually I had to realize these are for 'experiences' and not 'facts'.

Disregarding physical rules, systems, laws, dynamics especially with those what are strongly determining our daily experiences such as money system, capitalism while focusing to heavens, after-lifes, buddhas, energies, states of consciousness of course did not really assist me with more understanding on practical level on Earth how to change to be what would be in the benefit of all beings.

After realizing that for me zen, buddhism, meditation, energies, chakras, sacred geometry, psychedelic drugs did not help - these showed glimpses sure and then I've became obsessed with these experiences and I was still busy avoiding, judging lawyers, businessmen, politicians, celebrities as judging them being lost and denying responsibility while I felt powerless and unlucky but then I had to realize - there is nothing in this existence what I can stand as separated from - that separation is me in and as my own mind - my personal Jesus being fool-loved in the forms energy of my thoughts, feelings, emotions - which are again only: experiences, not lasting.

I've got slaps in my face, I had to realize that the accumulation of disregarding my own personal physical life by praising experiences, looking always forward from here for what I desire - became automatic, I've became obsessed with ideas unrelated to physical until I did not lose almost everything, even my physical life as I was so busy with experiences I did not see what I was causing.
After facing some eye-opener accidents, consequences I realized if I do not move myself, I will sacrifice my physical body in my one of energetic rushes for some experiences, which will then end with my total failure to satisfy myself with the simple point of being myself who I can enjoy just be as I was always sure that if I would die now, I die before I could really become who I really can be, what frustrated me more than anything, so I was able to question myself to consider new paradigms, to let go ideas, obsessions and beliefs and started to investigate more what is real, what is real power which then lead me to find the Desteni guys, with the huge amount of material to study.

Desteni I Process(which is referring to a process what each 'I' can walk who takes responsibility) is here for to assist us to understand these basics of our living: that each of us has a mind which can be programmed, in fact already programmed to accept what is here currently.

It is possible to understand how we actually are directly responsible how our mind perceives, how our beingness feels, how we react, what we enjoy, what we don't but these things are not taught in schools.

To understand that each singular thought also has consequence, that emotions are the result of programming the mind and in fact how we accumulated to be who we are today, just to mention allowing a 'civilization' which year by year causes 30 thousand kids to die which is fact and it is not 'positive', sure - but unless we do not face the facts - it is not possible to change those.
That is why it is difficult to speak up - people will judge the facts as 'negative' while can not direct their own mind to stop 'judging, feeling negative' therefore they will feel shitty so much so then they become unable to 'enjoy' their life because all of the abuse is obvious.
But walking with Desteni I realized it is about to not judge, just see what it is and not be defined by our experiences - as once Bernard told me when I asked him about shall I take a job what I judged as dirty he said: -"If you judge the Matrix, it got you".

My initial and most 'strong' resistance and reaction to share and promote Desteni I Process and Living Income to people is that there are people who actually 'feel' alright, cool, their life is not struggle and they can enjoy being human - as some of the people's reaction around me was that
-"Why constantly forgiving yourself, why don't just forgive yourself completely once and for all and then simply enjoy living?"
My answer was something like this:
-"Well, I would not do self-forgiveness if I would not need it, you can believe that, I'd be the most glad to be able to stand and say: I have forgiven all and in fact changed all aspects of me what was not fully who I really am."

But I do not know - as the 'devil is in the details' - to the utmost specificity, just like with any other physical creation: just see a computer, a cellphone - everything in it's design is very specific and perfect in order to work properly and I do not become aware how to make such things just 'contemplating on it: "computer computer computer" unless I am exactly aware of all why's and how's and then it is still a 'theory' what must be placed in physical practical reality.
It is not enough to learn driving a car from a book - I have to allow my body to learn doing it, first of all physically learning to understand the dynamics, to change those without thinking - or with guitar chords - I know all basic chords now, but I can not play songs as I have to learn to use the strumming, the melodies, the tempo, the fretting specifically, one by one to accumulate into a practical knowledge.

So first of all - Self-forgiveness is about becoming aware of actually who I am(what is actually all what is here, the concept of separation is also a thought of the mind).

It is an ability to see myself: I see what I have accepted and allowed in my existence ALREADY.

To even realize the extent I've manifested myself today here, I must realize what is here, which seems ridiculous, but once one dares to try Self-forgiveness can quickly realize: Self-forgiveness is the perfect reflection of who we really are:
If one refuses to forgive what has been already accepted and allowed to manifest in this world, meaning how exactly in physical world one is responsible for it - while does not want to change it or not knowing how to do so - always sounds like a "fuck you" to those who struggle, survive, fight and die while they facing being rejected as not accessing the basic needs for physical living.

And there is this experience <- -="" versus=""> physical reality apparent opposition thing which also twists a bit as humans define themselves according to experiences - feeling good, feeling shit, feeling okay - seems like the most powerful card in this game to prove that one is just as cool as currently being and nothing needs to change, nothing to forgive only being stimulated to have good experiences.

As within this blog and many-many other Journey to Life blogs - it is about the patterns what we exist as without being aware of: one point reveals an other and it can go as the layers, the webs of the consciousness definitions, rules, personalities, imprints are everywhere. I did 'examples on how Self-forgiveness is actually a Self-awareness reflection: as what I give for myself - and then in physical I can see: do I really give for myself a new chance or I just say it? So then it is how reflects: am I what I say or I am split between words and actions? How I do not see the exact differences of my words and my actions and what I experience while I participate within reality?

Forging experiences what overwhelm the senses of physical facts - experiences seem more intense in the mind than the reality within one is - so then to promote experience beyond facts is also a favorable - which means if I feel good, then it is more relevant than 'they do not feel good' - and there is nothing more to do but finding reasons, justifications, excuses for accepting my experiences as 'positive' being more important as their experience of 'negative' within the delusion of 'freedom' -

 "I seemed to be free to choose my experiences to be relevant, so others also can 'freely' choose experiences what they feel good about."

And then to not being able to grasp how experiences in the human mind are created, stimulated, obsessed with; means one is not able to understand why actually experiencing what, which is in fact the opposite of any definition of 'freedom' as one had no choice within becoming who one currently is: for that the specific understanding is required about how actions and consequences really accumulated.

But simply accepting experiences, accepting thoughts, accepting feelings as 'self' - is like a random possibility to 'maybe able to grasp how all are equally requiring food, shelter, health care, education'.

What I wanted to pronounce here is that there are many people who do actually feel good/great, have access to resources and blatantly able to go on like that without realizing that those who have are always more responsible to share with those who do not have.

Who do not have resources - naming it: money - do not have much choice as their only choice currently is to get food, shelter, water, health care somehow or they will be refused, rejected, disregarded.

Just try it out - go to an other country without a coin and feel good - especially after becoming ill and not having the support - I know this on personal experience: when I was in India alone without money, support and I was very-very sick - the whole world was different: I was able to focus to only the basics: eat, rest, try to be better and eventually somehow be able to return to Europe where I can get support from family, health care system etc to get healed. It is very difficult in a place like India, Bihar to fully recover from sickness without support, without money. And I was 'lucky' as I was able to learn, try and study a lot before being exposed to that, so I had abilities what most uneducated people do not 'get'. Just consider those who can not read/write - what chance they get on a decent living? Who is responsible?

Facing this world directly without the pink eye-glass already feels bad, especially when we consider facts - the billion people in poverty - to be able to consider ourselves just as equal as they are - requires ability to put myself into their shoes. No 'strings attached', no experience, no explanation - just factual reality.

Desteni message is not fluffy, it is about enslavement to realize, to prepare us to stand up and take responsibility to stop it - it is obvious that the silly idea of 'there are more responsible people' does not work, like politicians who then screw up - only they are responsible? What about the people who vote and allow them to rant with all the power what people has given permission to use? What about our current education system what is not teaching about reality, the mind, self, energies, existence but history of accumulation of acceptance of abuse, deceit, so fucking proud of our civilized standards which is basically continuous genocide and suppression - just look at the current Syria - just being screwed up for centuries and it will not be stopped and the survived people are homeless, exhausted, starving.

Myself I have never starved really - but when I did not eat for some days properly I've became quite frustrated, irritated, reactive, weak when I did not eat for a day for instance and then I have eaten, rested - but to live like that for days, weeks, years - sometimes I wonder why people still do not pillage the malls but then I realize because of the fear of being detained, shot, tortured, abused, killed- all the government is doing is protecting ourselves from each other, really - I am not sympathizing with it, it should be different, for instance implementing Living Income Guaranteed, but in fact only the government and it's system establishments are what is preventing the hungry, frustrated and rejected people to simply take what they lack by force.
But even the law enforcement will not stand a chance to stop the crowd if people will get to the point of even that is better if they are being shot than starving and being abused for decades.

That government is what we are all equal with - and those frustrated people are also ourselves.

It is time to compass us with the principle of Equality and Oneness to realize how each of us are capable to take responsibility and live as an example for all.

So my time is nearly over for today but for understanding what ALL equally need such as food, shelter, health care, education does not require to finish university nor ancient babbling scripts, neither repeating foreign mantras for energy persuaded by charismatic masters or taking mind-blowing drugs to barely be able to speak or walk properly - to simply just see our own basic needs: yaaay - it is the same for all.

To neglect that, to disregard that, to ignore that is problem, is actually a result of such accumulation which did not consider all facts, all participants with common sense.

There are actually real people who approach Desteni Group with understanding what is the Liveable Income Guaranteed and why it would be really the best for all participants - but it is not a requirement - for some as I was - it is a process to understand - first get out of personal maze to able to see and study physical reality which I was stimulated to by fed up the internal conflicts first to realize: I have no idea why these conflicts I re-create and actually how - and slowly but surely understanding how to actually stop the inner conflict, the doubt, the fear, the desire, the paraNOISE of the mind which is an instant self-reflection internal machine what we indentify ourselves with: that is problem, not only for individual living but for all participants within this human system.

Money goes almost everywhere and until each do not have access to it, which means surviving, living, growing - then there is always a division: those who have and accepting those who do not have.

Living Income means for those who do not have: there is a system maintained by all to give - unconditionally, just like the word LOVE would indicate.

For me it is obvious that our concept of love is of the mind, of experiences, feelings, of personal priority - love is a concept what is always compromised by our self-accepted limitation which is in fact who we have became.

To correct this, to re-align ourselves with such idea of 'unconditional love' would indicate the idea of 'no man left behind' - as if love is not applied to all - then that love is conditional, there is this interest which divides us within perception which is always responsibility as it has impact on physical reality, wherein, as who we exist on Earth all equally.

With Desteni I Process online self-support courses (starting with the free DIP LITE course) one can learn to understand, to change, to take self-responsibility.

If one has already programmed self-acceptances and allowances - might not want to understand their  action's consequences - even if it has impact on others - this is problem, which can be changed step by step - focusing on education(DIP, EQAFE) and supporting ourselves, our children to be able to develop common sense, be able to understand facts and realizing how the mind works which can be a tool but certainly not our starting point as energy which is just an accumulated result of our separation from who we are here in and as the physical.

See - being physical is not 'less' - identifying ourselves with consciousness systems is not 'more' - is actually less and money is just a manifestation, a representation of our separation from equality with ourselves.

Personally what went through within me in regards to money in my life was the following in the last ten years:
-Ahh, shit I do not have money for what I want to do in this world, this world sucks, humanity is fucked
-Ah fuck, I still want to do what I wanted, I have to work hard to get what I want, this still does not worthy, especially becoming a money-monger, even to participate with money feels dirty
-OMG, I've managed to escape from money system, I can live, however somebody always pays something for me, yet I can still not get what I really wanted(music instruments were these in that time)
-Olala, I do not want to say in my last moments that 'because of lack of money I did not live who I wanted to be, even when I could work as I have professions, skills, diligence, so I choose to go back into the money system and actually work
-Okay, I work and I get my instruments IN the money system, but as I see this system, it is not so cool with all just as with me - this system is full of crap - I can get what I want, but what about others?
This always bugged me, especially coming from poor family - even if I have spared some money in the last month - if my family members are lacking basic needs (for instance this winter proper shelter) - it just does not 'feel' right to buy an other expensive musical instrument while my family is freezing out as their heating system is wrecked, has to be repaired.

So then it is obvious what is the priority - even if I do not have ever that instrument(what I doubt, I can work) - somehow within Self-honesty it is obvious which is more important.

As those who march on streets in bulk for stuff what seems to be personally important for 'experiences' - will not be solution - it's like the Ship of Fools - each wants something yet not seeing the whole ship will sink while all are divided with their own, apparently 'original and valid' idea of their freedom.

I am certainly not against gay marriage, sure I support, but there are much more eager points to solve than this, such as the cannibalistic, vampire nature of our relationship with experiences, physical, life, energy, each other with the capitalism, even with the cost of destructing each other not seeing it is directly self-harm.

So Desteni I Process is also assisting and supporting many how to understand, find, develop, share Self-honesty not only on personal but on universal scale. I walk the DIP course since a while and still there much to go and previously I have finished quite some school, education out there and I never stop learning new skills but what this course shows is that us, as current humans are not understanding who and how we really are - and this course is challenging our addiction to our mind, to our energetic experiences, to our excuses and justifications for why we accept one billion people today existing below poverty line and they every day suffer more than we, who we have all fancy gadgets could ever imagine - and we have money, we have time, we have some resources, they don't.
We can not wait for the rich to save us - no one will do so - each has to stand up and as within my standing up - I suggest also to stand up with Self-honesty while becoming the living example and share ourselves by using common sense, sharing realizations and understandings what we directly walked through - phobias, fears, desires, addictions - those can be sorted out if one is dedicated and able to develop practical Self-honesty.
 
So for today that's about the current human system - and it is Common Sense and Self-honesty to be able to understand real, physical priorities - and if one lacks of these understandings, there is no excuse, there are specific facilities, courses, groups to assist to learn practical common sense, self-honesty.

For a mother it is not required to explain the child needs support - yet within the failure of that mostly all mothers of earth are in this bubble of 'my child is the most beautiful, most important' - which is then also requires remediation, self-support to stand for all life and actually what it would mean to do it practically, in this current system, today, tomorrow.

Living Income Guaranteed is a more practical, common sensical answer for the current human system's need than anything before. It is not a product what we just take and it is in effect but we must find practical ways to make it working - with current technology it is possible the redistribution of resources, the needs and goods to all. All reactions to this, to practical equality is our accepted mind stepping in automatically - that can be also understood within specificity.
At Desteni there are educators, teachers who walk already as an example since quite some years, proven that principled living is very possible and human can change themselves with dedication, consistency and motivation.

The Basic Income Grant is very cool stuff, study it, but as it is proposed, not practical, not really a solution, so that's why the Income should not be just basic, but a decent, LIVEABLE.

And there are significant differences with BIG - but the idea is the same: love thy neighbor as thyself in a practical, measurable mannerism in and as the physical reality, where our bodies with their needs are.

There are forums, discussions, chats, videos, articles, blogs, vlogs about the topic, it will be more obvious for more and more people as the system becomes extremely polarized until everyone gets it: it is about how we manage equality to manifest in the physical level.

That is why all mysticism, spirituality, religions fail big time - more and more 'scandals' come out as they disregard physical facts, priorities, common sense with separation, definition, excuses and justifications for why to accept abuse what is happening each day and to solve that always starts with the basic needs for all - until that is compromised, there is no such thing what would be more important, not even kneeling down to our own mind's creations to beg for better experiences.

That's all for today, thank you very much, I suggest to study Living Income Guaranteed:

Living Income Guaranteed website
Living Income Guaranteed facebook group
Living Income Guaranteed youtube group-hangouts 

Desteni I Process LITE - to grasp basic principles to be able to understand, direct, change our lives

[JTL 137] Slowing down part 2

Latest Self-support from Desteni farm:

• Practical Desteni: Quantum Time and Physical Space-Time Equilibrium
• Creation's journey to Life: Stimulation – Thy Rod and Thy Staff - Part 2

After a long ranting and raving, I continue walking Slowing down:

I've finished how I see myself compromised with the idea of freedom and the actual freedom - and if I am not fully present - it happens automatically, meaning for instance thinking that one who has no home is free to go anywhere however it is not likely if one as no money, so then a thought comes that: freedom: travel anywhere: only if money: I do not have that much money: I should have reason why I do not have - and more reactions can come and all is some sort of inner friction.

As Joao Jesus expressed it in music: "Only I can change myself" - check out his downloadable most excellent music at EQAFE:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I do not actually change, but I constantly prove myself having the ability to change, with I actually change but not as directly as I could.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself within being able to change, whatever I behave like based on decision, motivation and direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use energy to change, to stimulate myself with energy to change, and not realizing that without the energy, I stop changing, I stop myself, I am dependent on energy, it is not directly who I am but according to stimulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to prove myself being able to change instead of directly change myself without any inner reaction, any doubt, worry, fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define perfection according to a feeling I've defined myself to feel when I expose my senses to art.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define values according to feelings I have being stimulated by vision, hearing, touch, taste, smell.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that all I've ever existed that I've defined who I am and limited myself to only defining myself to be who I am according to actually what I did.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that for self-judgment I've defined myself who I am to be able to have a feeling reaction about myself as positive or negative or neutral and participating within society I defined what is good and bad based on these feelings.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I compromise my direct sensing by automatic, apparently 'free' associations towards experiences however in fact these are automatic.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that speeding up within with energy is not means that myself actually speeding up but the self-accepted self-definitions as information flows to not needing to face what is here undefined, without prejudice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having definitions, judgments, thoughts, backchats about things, persons, events, objects in my reality as good, great, cool because believing that it helps me to decide what I want based on conclusions I made in the past for instance thinking is cool because making me smart and never investigating what it is exactly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define thinking as cool because believing that makes me smart and not realizing that the existing fear I accept that without thoughts I am not smart enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry to not having energy, to not feel energetic, to not be able to direct myself regardless of energies which I feel in my mind such as thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that slowing down within when thoughts start to move, to breathe and present myself literally here within physical and direct myself to disregard the thoughts and understand the dynamics of thought, the origin of the thought, the solution physically to prevent the thought emerging and allowing myself to be possessed with.

An example of such thought:

I have no time, I do not have enough money for buying time to do what I really want to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I do not have enough time for what I want to do and not realizing that time is attention I give to what I prioritize.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use justification that I do not have enough time and money to move effectively and using this as excuse to not walk through my self-defined, self-accepted, self-created limitations in order to not change, to not take responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within not taking responsibility for what I accept and allow in fact I allow myself to be inferior towards creation here therefore I use feeling inferior reaction to accept self-limitation until I do not realize I must face and stop reacting and direct myself to let it go.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to use effective timing and scheduling in order to not create friction and stress within about not having enough time and using polarities to define myself about how much I am limited by lack of time meanwhile in fact I simply do not use scheduling time within being overwhelmed, possessed, occupied with thoughts, feelings reaction what I've allowed myself to define as more important, interesting than the things I've defined as priority.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be aware of that there is an ideal imagination of myself who I want to be and there is an actual physical manifestation of myself and the two is not the same so by having the starting point and definition point of the ideal/imagined/desired self and the actual self and that already creates friction, energy which compounds, influences, directs me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myselt to think and believe that I do have to have an ideal self imagination to participate with without actually considering who I really am in and as the physical currently.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I've defined who I am according to personality based on the specific belief that I do need to move faster in my mind than physically and defining my reality based on the mind and disregard physical and not seeing that this creates friction, energy within me which cause feelings, energetic experiences, moods wherein I am completely obsessed with inner experiences while excluding physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a belief that I do require to speed up within, collect as much energy as I can with I can change myself, therefore to accept inner conflict and friction and turmoil seems natural because it will generate energies within what I've defined as being alive, moving faster, feeling energetic while in fact all what happens is that I overcharge my mind of thoughts, feelings, emotions which I've defined myself to be and not realizing that the source, the origin, the reality of me is here in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face and investigate, deal and practically stop each and every single entry of my self-accepted inner speeding up within what I do not realize how each inner reaction is programmed to stimulate the next within what I am constantly occupied and in fact lost within consciousness as perceived knowledge and information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that expressing mysef within physical breathing I am actively moving myself here as beingness and stopping myself as thoughts, energetic experiences.

I forgive myself that I have not realized and understood that stopping thoughts within does not make me less smart, but more present, constant, stable, therefore to have any excuse for why I allow thoughts freely rant in my head is not valid, only consciousness knowledge I use to tell me who I am while in and as the physical I exist as the flesh.

I forgive myself that I have never considered the physical beingness as the most direct, full and living expression of myself and believing that who I am is of consciousness, of thoughts and not realizing that I can exist without thought but I can not exist effectively within being occupied with thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be self-honest with myself to the degree to realize that when I think - actually I worry, I fear and the thought pattern is the reflection of the inner fear of loss which I do not allow myself to see, understand, realize why and how I exactly manifest the speciftic thought pattern within as a result of energetic experience of perception of separation based on fear of loss.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to slow down within to the degree while breathing within and as physical breathing to see how thoughts are being triggered from what experiences and realize that in fact it is my decision to accept and allow this energetic experience within the belief that it is myself, that it is required for my living, that it is who I am and not seeing that each thought is the limitation reflection of the past.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to investigate Earth existence, people, ways and methods to realize that thinking is a con, wherein thought is the result of the starting point of existing within fear and inferiority in regards to existence, consciousness, ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight energies within the belief that I can dominate my energies to quiet them down and not realizing that within fighting I am split and whatever I do - I am not in equillibrium but of friction and the solution is to stop, stop participate, to let go, to breathe within quiet mind and disregard energy, judgment, fear.

When and as I see that I am moving faster within that I could see each movement within of why and how I react - I slow down, I breathe, I feel the physical, I sense my reality and I realize that it is not about how much or how fast I move within my quantum mind but in and as the physical here what is being shared with all other beings.

When and as I feel I do not have energy, I stop, I breathe, I realize I allow thoughts and feelings to tell me how and who I am instead of using common sense and realize my physical location and take responsibility for what I accept and allow, specifically to use energy of the mind of reactions instead of directly exist as physical.

-Resisting the physical as self:
(I suggest if you did not yet walked through this: God of Man: The Physical )

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, think that if I stop participate in the mind and I stick to physical here, then I am only an organic robot, a zombie, a machine within the belief that without thoughts, feelins I am not man and not realizing that who I am as man is not because of thoughts, feelings, emotions but who I am physically here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, perceive that the physical is less, lesser, less important, relevant or valid, real than the consciousness mind energetic experiences and never slow down within to the degree and be self-honest about it to realize: the source is the physical, the consciousness is dependent of the physical.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that existing within the starting point of consciousness, such as energies, emotiones, feelings, love is not valid as accepts and allows abuse in and as the physical in beings, humans, children, women based on knowledge and information being superimposed to the flesh what must be stopped by a process of self-realization of investigating and releasing all points which are not relevant within practical, effective, life-supporting existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more powerful, smart, wise, ethernal or anything what feels good within and as consciousness by thoughts, feelings, emotions and not realizing that it is not real and when the body dies, consciousness stops as there is no source, energy-source to supply anymore, therefore to disregard physical means disregard real life, to accept abuse on physical level in this existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not learn how to exist within and as the physical and how it is in fact much direct and real living when not using mind consciousness to tell me who I am, to not having thoughts to echo back who I supposed to be.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that the Self-realization means to be able to stand within and as the flesh within this existence but not of this existence, to exist within consciousness systems, but not of consciousness systems, to embrace the mind and understanding it, but not participate in it, meaning stopping the addiction of thinkinig, feeling, desiring, worrying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to slow down within by using thought-reaction energy and wanting to bombard, shock, overcharge my mind in order to stop instead of realizing that slowing down is physical process and to each and every inner reaction what comes up automatically can be understood and stopped one by one.

When and as I do not feel the breath physically - I realize I lost presence, I stop, I physically re-align myself as being here, breathing, slowing down within, letting go of patterns within and realizing: I am actually here, as touch, as feel, as smell, as presence.

When and as somebody states that consciousness, mind, energy, feelings are important, greater, superior, more real, more cool than the physical - I stop reacting within - I stop resisting to argue - I realize it is not about what I talk or feel, but what I act in and as the physical, so I realize it is about living an example of starting point as the physical as life.

When and as I see that someone is stating that physical is just lesser I do not go into reaction, I realize it is the being's individual process what I face and who I am is what I express, so I am presence, direction, physical expression here.

When and as I worry that someone would disagree with me that being the physical as more relevant instead of consciousness - I realize it is obvious, I do not have to prove it - rather than I can see what points I allow being triggered within and I take responsibility to stop it and if I see appliable - I speak up naturally, I express how I see the point to assist and support myself and others as well.

When and as I see that I can not explain what I see, understand, realize - I slow down within and I realize I can only simplify and slow down within and express who I am within self-honesty and not allowing any point within to oppose, argue, prove or persuade anything and when I see the impulse to do so - I realize I am not present but of thoughts, feelings, worry, separation, polarity - so I stop, I slow down within, I let go all what I experience and I simply focus to what is here, what is common sense.

I commit myself to find practical ways to slow down within and realize that it is my starting point as life and when I do compromise my inner quietness I commit myself to apply the tools provided by desteni to support myself to re-align myself with flesh of life which is who I am and take responsibility for.

to be continued

I suggest if you are not aware of these tools and how support and assist ourselves to check out Desteni I Process Lite free online self-direction course to get familiar with the Process of Self-forgiveness, which is actually the act of god: to understand and take responsibility for our own creation and have the ability and actually do change ourselves according to what is good, not only for self but for all. Investigate solutions what claim to be 'what is best for all' - do not trust anything by default - just as Jesus suggested, "investigate all things and keep which is good".

[JTL 113] Eye of Consciousness and Pain

Eye Seeing as the Systems of Consciousness

Recently I am being introduced to eye pain what assists and supports me to realize the ridiculousness of knowledge and information not lived as myself as equal as one but as separate mind consciousness system manifestations such as thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories.

• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically define anything I look to.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be aware when I use definitions to be my eye of perception.
• I forgive myself that I have not ever even considered to slow down by myself to such a degree within through stopping and breathing to be aware of constant and automatic self-definition as starting point through as the eye of Consciousness.
• I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that all who I perceive myself to be, everything as I define as who I am is of definitions of layers of consciousness of mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, pictures, definitions.
• I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to directly be my human physical eye without the layer of definition of consciousness of separation.
• I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that through the eye of Consciousness as self-definitions everything is separated from me here within perception and starting point.
• I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use the 'I' of consciousness as the eye of my perceived self as personality built up on definitions of thoughts, feelings, emotions without ever considering that this is not Life but Lie of self-deceit through separation.
• I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I have defined myself to fear from undefined, from unknown as then not being able to separate from what it really is through the definitions of Consciousness.
• I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to become aware of my human physical body in terms of experiencing physical pain when using energy of Consciousness through manifesting an experience of separation from my human physical body.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself to have a tendency to avoid pain and to separate myself from the experience of physical pain through reactions and energies from the definitions of Mind Consciousness.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define pain as avoidable unconditionally and not realizing that pain is consequence of starting point of Consciousness which I have no other way but to embrace and stand as equal as one to birth myself as Life from the physical which means to embrace the pain and be aware of it's origin, it's cause and stop participating layer by layer, self-definition by self-definition until I stand undefined without the experience of separation from my human physical body here.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use pain as an excuse to pull back into Mind Consciousness to lick my wounds as defining pain as avoidable in all costs.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept apparently little pain constantly rather than facing pain what seems enormous and great for a short period of time.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and believe and think that from lots of pain, enormous pain, unbearable pain I can get mad and become insane and lose myself.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept myself to live in the shadow of pain and never facing it directly breath by breath and dare to see it's origin as how exactly I am responsible for the very pain I experience as self-accepted limitation and excuse to not stop participating within definitions of Mind Consciousness System as who I've accepted myself to became and manifest as within and as the Physical.
• I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I can not separate myself from anything here without causing consequences as pain because the very act of separation of energy of Mind Consciousness is the origin of pain.
• I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that each and every single thought is manifesting physical pain within and as my human physical body what if I am not aware of - I will continue without being aware of what I am and actually how I am responsible.
• I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to not be here in all moments whether it is painful or not and not realizing that even within pain I can be here as physical and going into mind and reactions of definitions will not stop the pain only I feel myself separated from it and the solution is to realize the starting point, the physical participation which through I am causing the energy reaction within to manifest the pain and to stop that breath by breath until I am here without the energetic reaction of that specific thought, feeling, emotion pattern of self-definition of mind.

• When and as I look something I remain calm, quiet, silent within and I breathe and I am here and see when I do move within automatically - and if I move - I stop, if I react, I focus on what is here physically, breath, body, facts.
• When and as I have resistance towards stopping thoughts because of pain - I realize thoughts prolong facing pain, not solving therefore I stop thinking and I see what is the source of my pain, how I manifest this pain, I investigate, I explore, I stop internal conversations, reactions, rather I express, write, and forgive myself unconditionally point by point, breath by breath.
• When and as I automatically define something I realize I fear to explore the unknown, the undefined, the direct experience with what is here as who I am, so I stop, I breathe, I embrace, I act, I trust myself as direct physical.

• I commit myself to stop using definitions of the mind, definitions of what I see, what I experience within the realization that through defining I am separating myself from the subject of my definition, I am not direct as equal as one therefore I am not the directing principle here but being automatically stimulated as self-automation as Mind Consciousness System, therefore I stop.
• I commit myself to investigate all layers of Mind Consciousness System what I am not able to naturally, in one moment to stop, and let go through Writing, Applying Self-forgiveness within Self-honesty and Living Self-correction within Self-commitment to stop all definitions, reactions, thoughts, feelings and emotions and directly experience as myself as physical here.

With eye pain - whatever I look I experience pain - and the eye is a very specific, quite sophisticated manifestation - so many fast and precise movements it does, focusing 'automatically' and moving all the time and within eye-pain - I am becoming aware of all the slightest movements of my physical eyes.

Because each tiny movement hurts - through pain I am becoming aware that how I have taken granted my eyes move automatically.

Especially when I think and move within - and the eyes move.

I've noticed this long years ago - when someone is busy within - the eye move quite often - and just to see one's eyeballs - and it is obvious - thinking, images, pictures, reactions.

Apparently just looking around - but is not present - and as the eye moves - the mind moves - reaction after reaction - just like a dream sequence - one's eye is moving around while the eyelids are closed - fascinating. The same here while it's open.
I am sitting on a bus and looking to the seat, the window, the crossroad, the bug on the screen, the light glimpse on the window, the river down there, the trees in the wind, the motorcycle coming through, the other passengers, my cellphone, the eye of the woman in front of me, the girl's legs nearby and her shoes meanwhile:
I think - think think think and react and I do not really see these things - I just glide on the definitions and reactions coming up looking these things - or not even related to these things - but stimulates. Check it out.

When long time ago I pushed lots of psychedelics, this observation assisted me to be aware of when others are busy within or being present - to push them or bring them back here - SNAP - hey we are here - and when one is moving the eye without being present - I can ask - "What's up?", "How is it going?", "What's happening?" - and many ask me how I know that they are thinking.
Well, when one slows down to a certain degree - it is obvious - not even the eye movement can blow the 'cover' of not being here - if someone is HERE - then it is obvious when others are NOT.

Remembering with Bernard - he has applied Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness, Writing for decades to a degree that he was not just able to be here constantly, but he became this presence, consistency here.

So that's why and how he was able to work directly what is here, the physical, the starting point - and if one is walking the Desteni tools for years can let go the busy mind reality for real and experience and deal with what is here.

The 'Eye' of Consciousness, the 'I' as Consciousness must be walked through - to be here without any reaction, definition, thought, feeling, emotion - this is where Life starts, never before.

That's why it is imperative to grasp the Common Sense within the tools provided by Desteni - because it is about real, tangible, practical, down to earth, ground zero physical self-realization, not just some chakra feel-good weekend happiness energy separation mind engine bubble - that is still of systems - and will never be solution for all.

Everything is connected, related and in interaction in this existence as all as equal as one - if one walks through resistances and definitions of the mind - can be really HERE - and can see the deception within Self and Others and really assist and support for All Life's interest. Everything else is Self-delusion and Self-interest.

And this does not mean one should feel shitty and painful all the time - but there is no excuse within this existence and especially in these controversial times about what is Best for all.

If one can not realize what it means or what would be really the practical approach for What is Best for All - then it is a problem, a bubble of separation, a physically manifested consciousness system as Self as Mind secluded and superimposed from it's source as Energy from Physical Substance, from Life.  That to understand I really suggest investing some coins to the Secret History Of Unverse audio series (it's first 5 parts are free to download) because it is explaining with simple terms the relationship between Energy, Substance and Life - and how existence has been manifested as it is from it's starting point which is still here and until we do not change that - we can not change our origin point from Separation to Unification with and as Life as who we really are and were and ever will be.

So it is definitely a journey to grasp, to apply and Live everything what is here and to unfold the secrets what has always been around but we were always just too busy within our Eye of Consciousness Mind System to see through, to see beyond the thoughts, feelings, emotions.

Because as long as we are busy and occupied within our mind - we are not seeing how and why others are occupied within their mind - and we are unable to grasp what is here as current human system of greed, abuse, destruction and rape of Life through physical abuse with Energy of  Mind Consciousness - this is the education, this is the common sense for anybody who can take responsibility, who can be clear enough within to realize the necessity to first stop ourselves and be a living example of stop the Mind Consciousness and assist and support others, for the children to come with a State of the Art Education what is provided here with Desteni tools to really change the systems that Rule Earth, that decide who can live and who will die:

The economic, the political, the monetary system is just like the same as our mind consciousness - if we understand our own mind to a degree to be able to stop - we are able to step beyond self-interest and deal with the systems outside of ourselves and take responsibility for all life and change this floating mudball around the sun to a place where All Life is respected, nurtured and supported equally. For that, we, individuals should and must be the ones who say no to self-acceptance through fear, through excuses and justifications why we accept ourselves within Self-limitation and use the tools what are the most practical and simplistic for letting go all delusions what we got through our family-blood-DNA, through our education, through our media, through our environment which determine and show us equal as one who we really are until we stand up and change.

That's why the 7 Years to Journey to Life has been started wherein many people from all around the world are walking through Consciousness Systems with the starting point as Life - Through blogging, vlogging, Applying and Living Self-forgiveness within Self-honesty.

There is a free course to start if one is willing to give time(which is ourselves) for exploring the tools available for all who can read and can understand the simple math of 1+1=2.

Desteni I Process LITE

Also check out these EQAFE Self-support Audio interviews in the topic of Pain, Eye:

For Self-education:

• Economy: Economist's Journey to Life
• Activism: Activist's Journey to Life
• Creation: Creation's Journey to Life
• Income: Living Income Guaranteed

[JTL 105] Ranting on the word TRUST

Investigating the meaning and ranting about the memories about the word: Trust

I start with how I've defined trust: being able to rely on something or somebody and then it's there, more precisely: it's always here when I need, so something what I expect, I hope, I want.

Several times in my life I actually concluded to the point that I do not trust myself.

Those were moments when I realized I am utterly shattered as myself and literally became physical consequence, nothing more.

For sure I had apparently 'free' choices but within Self-investigation - I realize choice is never really a choice - especially when it is predictable. Or when just to prove not to be predictable to choose what is not predicted - is still of consequence, accumulation and influence.

It is always common sense what is the real deal: If choice exists, why do we not choose always what is best for all?
Is that worthy? For who and for what and actually why?
So if choice is deliberately to harm and abuse: how is that really free?

Who I am is of choice? So then what I am is of condition and then what is real of me?

Or is that a journey to find out what I am not, then who I really am then again: not of choice, but actual process of realization of who I am is not of choice: and then I am who I am, and if I could choose who I actually am, then what is what really choosing but already myself?

So this choice thing is really ridiculous, considering to be able to choose what is best for me, especially within the consideration of what is best for all. Because then choice is nothing but of consequence - again - and then what is best for all is always obvious, if we are able to consider the facts and take responsibility for who we are actually.

Actually to take responsibility for this big chunk of organic material which is typing currently is merely a choice - as you as well consider this as a possible point of self-reflection of how you ended up reading this right now in this very moment?

What points you walked through and directed yourself by and made being able to pinpoint the very decision what you, yourself made to read through this writing and who you really are within it?

I mean I am not fully aware of this either, but I see how I am acting based on the decision to write. Walking Desteni I Process Lite actually assists me within Self-realization. That is undeniable. Out of choice.

I am translating and within translation it is like I am really squeezing the writing through myself to be able to come out the best possible way to express it with the language I always used as my primarily, natural one - however as within writing I am actually and PHYSICALLY slowing down within and becoming the words I write - in this moment I type this - and this and then that: Hello there! Actually ~HERE~

I am these words within my mind and by that I am not in the super fast graph-thought-light-halo which is kind of untouchable and immaterial yet always surrounding and thought and reactions come one after another so fast I am barely aware of it - no.

Within writing I am slowing down to the physical - literally, like I must otherwise I can not type with full presence - otherwise I just think 100 things and write something about it:

Okay, I can try it: now I try to think and imagine stuff while try to type:
india ex trap realize awake

- you see - these are the keywords for the dream I had in the morning and I have tons of details about that dream, actually it was quite vivid, still - but within thinking through - I am so fast - and the reactions I had - I felt the energy arise in the body regarding to the memory and the lots of words, thoughts, pictures, feelings, the events, the story in that dream - and then I am here.

I know what I remember and what I understand about it - but to actually see - I write it down and by the words I see and I ground myself to the physical and I am stable.

And when reaction comes - I see it and I am still here - not like for one thought/picture - dozens pop up and for that dozens another dozen times dozens - that people trust - and then they feel, react and when it is good then they feel good, and when it is bad, they feel bad - and then they get used to it and that is sort of really fast and then in fact automatic - and then is that still of choice?

The actual associations coming up to specific words are still of and as choice, one by one? For instance the frequent words people use: What then pops up for these ones: Love, trust, fortune, value, taste, energy ?

See - my word of Trust has became automatic, so I acknowledge it: that it is not best for me and best for all either - and I do not say anymore I doubt myself - but I realized until I do not purify and re-define and specify the MEANING of the word TRUST - how can I trust anything?

So for me seems now as a pretty much foundation to investigate.

People do not like to investigate self, right, because that sounds like analytic, decomposing, like ruining the fun of flow, the moment, the feelings - as the religious, spiritual agendas also:

"Do not analyze too much, just ride the tide, blow the flow and feel the dragon of god or buddha or virgin mary jane or king of c(h)oke Ra.

Caution! Achtung, Warning, Attention: Self-automation ahead!

I mean if I really start using common sense on the religion material (any - even as: religion of Self) - I might start question too much and then I am unable to feel the deal, missing the point what is non taken but who am I to judge all mantras but even after all I tried and then I do not say it's bullshit but for me it's really bullshit: then some say I was not enough serious(or was too serious), I did not do enough, did not do it properly or still much to do for some several hundreds of thousand times before eating the fruit of the attainment of awareness.

Well, seeking for awareness, speaking for the devil: look at here: the physical is real. Touch yourself, the chair, the screen: it is fact. Fuck the space in the atoms, be gentle with denial or try with the brick wall, it stops you, test it: that real!

The most stable, reliable, consistent and assisting reality is this, the actual factual, mutual interconnectedness of everything revealing thing is what we have here and we can always reflect back, realize and directly become really aware of who we really are and where we are within our journey of existence: through and as this physical wherein we are all busy breathing all the time. This breath is physical, this is the Life in and as Substance what is here and we are separated from as ourselves through consciousness, energy.

Anything what is disregarding the priority of the physical is apparently self-made choice to go into the mood of flood of the consciousness of mind of energy, which is and always will be inferior and conditioned to the physical existence.

Energy is always of friction of this separation operation of consciousness from Substance.



So - - - - is it MY choice to see what I consist of and entail as the definitions, memories of the word TRUST?

How can I be anytime sure that it is myself who is driving the wheel of my eventuality and what precisely I can refer here as 'myself'?

The more I walk this Self-investigation - the thinner I see myself as 'me' and the bolder I see the Principle of Equality and Oneness as Life - and I am merely nothing but of consequence of energy of words - but as I stand - I find myself as an Individual expression equal to all - and that I walk, and share here.


This could be an introductory for the word: Trust, not much as decomposing but actually playing with the words - or the words play me?

Memories of trust:

I trusted 'my girl' with not cheating on me - and then she cheated me as I cheated her already but only in mind and I kicked her out of my bed, and then years later the same again she cheated me, but this time I already cheated her with my relationship with drugs, not with thoughts of girls: and kicked her out of my flat. Blame game trust of frust rat I was on the fly.

Sad, little heart has broken, well not really, but actually I learned not just give trust towards I hope will be worthy for - it's like the sell fish business: I put my money into something what then comes back more than I did put into(just as a child comes out from the hole I enjoy to stick into: apparently now here; well to make sure it is really good for the children to come, be the con-sider at I on insist and suggest to investigate Equal Money as viable Solution which is Best for All).

So then I trusted with guys who lived with me as we agreed on rent fee to share and they could not afford it and I always said fuck it, I am that good and they eventually bailed out themselves from that situation with their remorse and I was like, be friends, I do not care about some dozens of thousands, well - I will be more rich later on anyway!

And the askers came and I gave, shared, lent, gave away with sympathy and the trust thing was like alright, I trust my goodness here, I am such a great to lean on, come on everybody, free dope for anyone, we do not even lock the door, here is my cabinet, sure, bring your friends as well - oups where is that bass guitar what I've been given to and now it's gone and who is she anyway, looks familiar, alright, I am that good in those parties, it's always alright when the money comes that easier or even for free...

Trusting in the moment, the flow, the reality, the existence, the god, the energy, the drug, the siddhas, the lama, the guru, the acid, the crystal, the hat, the stem, the buddha, the friends, the artists, the girl, the experience, the pain: such a lame deal to figure out in the next moment what is so utterly bursting the bubble of immaculate perfection and the rock below the ocean is really scaring the shit out of me when I think of mother in the last moment and then I am still here and recon-sider my opposition on this word I sandcastled my thin, fragile nirvana to: Trust: I never trust you again!

Self-separation is of polarity of mind is of self-mutilation with each thought can be really personal and intimate but hey: no thing is new, all is the same repeating and accumulating since of the beginning of the sin of our fore- and fore- and fore-fathers and mothers and sisters and brothers we are all here equally in the same boat in all ways, any ways.

So that's about trust for today, I trust facts, physical, as self, so here+now returning back where I was, I just had to push this through and to say I enjoy writing like this, after all it is still a feeling what mostly I do not share because I see the shark teeth in it as biting my body with this energy and keeps me losing if I count on this kingship of consciousness, as an example of disregard practical common sense as fact as the physical.

So I will be continuing on Self-forgiveness on the word and memories about: TRUST and also continuing with the post: reacting to women, as I just started with make-up last time and what else I react to with energy what I do not require anymore but I am going to PREVENT. And I do not fear from it or defining it bad - I just let it out from my system and then I can directly experience it as physical, not as reaction in mind with energy packages separating myself from equality and oneness here.

[JTL 102] Transcending Consciousness

Recently I've been noticed that when I am clear - I am able to hear others 'more properly' - meaning not just hearing the words, but the sound they speak with and that have a lot!

The next point I want to bring up is that sometimes I am not able to make the difference of the reactions coming up within myself in regards to the words they speak and the actual way of how they sound the words, meaning I have reaction to the words, the way how they sound the words and I have self-automation, self-definition what activates so fast that I am not able to differentiate that the experience I have within myself when the other speaks that is that of myself or of the person.

Previously when I had psychedelic experiences I knew this can happen, but in that phase of my life I was unaware of how my mind really works, before the education I've started with Desteni.

For instance when I heard the dog barking on mushroom, I felt like I hear the being, the actual experience of the dog and what tries to 'say' and in that moment I had the laugh so long that after walking 10 minutes to reach the bridge from where I've heard the dog and I was still laughing - as distanced away from the 'dog scene' and still hearing it's barking and still 'feeling like' really within myself, not 'hearing it' and then reacting to it, defining it, but actually my whole beingness was able to embrace the sound expression and that was really-really funny when I've realized that with this sound we are not separated, we are able to directly communicate, we are able to share really complex state of beingness with sound but our mind is in the way, the actual matrix what we live within as our thoughts, memories, definitions, feelings, emotions, reactions, desires, fears, images, pictures, ideas of sounds and all of those things are like den of snakes sliding within our mind and body all the time as ENERGETIC packages containing INFORMATION but separated and symbolized of the actual sound expression filtered through our personality, vocabulary and starting point of participation within physical reality.

So that was loong-loong ago and since while walking Desteni Process I was able to notice sometimes that I have this feeling of 'I hear' the pain, the tiredness, the uncertainty, the mischievousness, the abuse, the fear in humans words, even when they feel great and within their words actually sounding they always expose themselves and it is always me who is the congestion in the equation as actual manifested limitation and separation within the currently manifested Equality and Oneness.

So recently I noticed I am more and more able to observe and watch, hear and notice things I've never did before.

I walk through corridors I've never observed and I have no thoughts, no future projection, no past mastication(fascinating word!) but actually I allow the senses directly reach me and I see how tremendous information I can sense directly.

I have a mate who is kind of fascinating in terms of how his mind and beingness works and he is able to realize things what most people can not but he always limits himself with the sentence: "The reality is too intense, it is too much, I have to blunt, deaden myself because it is too much, so I smoke, I drink, basically I get high.". This was quite time ago but I get what he told: with the mind it is enormous quantity of data - that's why the personality of mind of human likes to categorize, to abstract, to filter, to re-and re-define and conclude and define and pre-program.

Because then it is not too intense. I am in tense when I am reacting with energy, not being physical substance - for a moment look at this as kind of natural, awesome secret knowledge what is now being shared here: if you are directly the substance, the body, no mind - you are connected - not speaking about acid and consciousness, love and energy and light - that is still before the substance, it is part of the 'maya' - the delusion, the trap, what many fall into, no, I speak here about BEYOND CONSCIOUSNESS, consider that - remain undefined for minutes, days, weeks, no conscious mind, no subconscious mind, no unconscious mind, no instinct, no inherent nature, no reptilian brain, no biology, no hormones, no thing in this world can direct me, but I am in the system but not of the system - that I speak about, that I see as possible by transcending mind and consciousness. So.

I travel with subway every workday and there are literally thousands of people. Really close, I mean when I am empty, sometimes it is freaking close, like 5 centimeters there is a face, a woman chest or five.

And I am empty, I am here and I am observing the textures on the surfaces, actually it is like switching from VHS to UltraHD, all of a sudden I see all of the tiny parts of the things - as the little, as the big scale, as equal as one. And actually I am fascinated (alright there are occasions when woman's faces are more focused but still - not as woman but as physical substance! And then I look at anyone and it is the same..)

And that if I try to define, to categorize, to understand, to make sense with who I am: it will not work, it is too much. So I let it go, day by day. And when I am screwed within, like really tired, thoughts flow and worry come - I am like Superman with Kryptonit - just like a tiny wheel within the whole machine, unaware, reacting, wounded with the mind and lost within and as consciousness systems.

I have to let go, I am letting go, I am releasing all definitions, reactions, I am empty, I am open and I am able to see what comes up within - for the fat dude, for the thin lady, for the little dog and for the huge suitcase.
Strange act but I have experience in it so to speak as I used to visit trance parties wherein in high density there are a lot of people, thousands on the dance floor and everyone wants to be at the right spot - and I was using mind-blowing stuffs and with that I had this inner emptiness, but actually it was not empty but all of my beingness, with the mind, the body, the experience, the senses, the information all were liquified and flowing through my perception and by that it was like a big mercury-blog flowing around, and it was very strange and I had details as I focused but in fact, myself who I am today here was also within this whole mercury and I was not directive, not reactive, but the mixture of it - and I was not able to maintain consistency as it was effect induced by the stuff, the substance and it had peak and it had fatigue and I was changing by that and that 'I' experience was not consistent and I mean for that as 'stability'.

So here I am, after some years walking Self-forgiveness, and I see that I am able to step through my personality, definitely I am empty yet here, directive and I see my little desires are of fear and as some mate said yesterday: 'truth makes you free' - and when I am absolutely Self-honest, I see what is my truth, that this part of me is a layer of consciousness which I use for equate myself as original incompleteness coming from my acceptance and allowance from what I have learned through the SOUND RESONANCE of parents, school, media etc.
So then walking Principle as Life as What is best for All then I can naturally align as myself because I do not have 'personal agenda' - of course I still require money, shelter, some fun time, yet I do not lose perspective about what is really relevant, in terms of being aware of that this what I already HAVE - many-many do not have and then I see naturally that I am not really separated from those who lack the basic requirement for living, for surviving!

Then it is not a choice, not a decision, not a philanthropic step to actually consider what would be the solution working not for me but for all.

And when I am more and more empty and silent within the more I embrace and allow others into me, as me - with no separation, no definition and then I stabilize this, I remain consistent as I sort out the reactions coming up by embracing my direct HERE-ness, presence, and EXPANDING AWARENESS breath by breath.

So within this process I see that there is no letting go, giving up myself as actually this self-awareness I currently have is an illusion, a religion of self for what I keep giving sacrifice as ENERGY of mind which feeds off from the PHYSICAL body of myself, of others, who work like slaves for low prices for the ones who have MONEY to buy what they want by desire and inflated, smartly engineered and implanted by the system of establishment of fear which has been manifested as law, government, media, which is literally the external mirror of our inner self as EQUAL AS ONE within Oneness and Equality, therefore all rebel and revolution and resistance is literally Self-destruction.

Therefore to actually understand the world system, I understand myself and I stop what I realize within Self-honesty as Truth as myself as not being really myself and then I embrace what is here, I embrace what I really am, what is literally what is here in and as the flesh, as self is flesh and what we actually do and accept and allow is the only relevant reality.

Therefore to SOUND words what is aligned with who I really am, and actually do and write and say and act the same: I am the Living Word, and I re-align myself with those words what I can live like this, within discipline, principle, real compassion as this Self-honesty is the compass I am on as the PRESENCE always, constantly, I am here.

And therefore the sound of others can come into me as me and I experience it and I embrace it as myself and there is no separation.

I remember Bernard asking on group chat that "Are you able to write to your blog and in the same time live that in physical?"
That is practical and relevant.
So I am re-aligning my blogging to this: writing about what I can immediately change, align and live from that moment and obviously there will be frictions and issues but that I also re-align and I walk and embrace and direct everything what is here within the consideration of What is Best for all.
Without this consideration, I realized - there is no balancing out point and I go into mindfuck sooner or later because that is the basic principle: I am as all as equal as one - and with this consideration - I walk not only myself but AS Universe, as Existence as equal as one without feeling being small or growing big in my ego: I am simply here as Life.

If you are ready and able to transcend mind and consciousness, get assistance, there are beings who walk this since a while and are HERE to assist and support with Self-realization as one can not trust in and as self in the beginning as it is infused and imbued, infected and infested with and as the mind, energy, consciousness.
Desteni I Process course has been set up for effectively support those who are able to walk through the mind and I guarantee that it will challenge anyone who is not direct physical substance with no mind.

[JTL 36] Echoing in my mind

When I am not absolutely clear and sure that I did the right thing - or even in the moment I felt like or I was sure that in that moment it was alright, but then I shift personality or I feel screwed or I just do not remember exactly how and what I did - I allow myself to echo words in my mind.
Also it can happen when something was apparently really good - then I am just re- and redefining it within as good and I can be obsessed with this for some moments at certain situations.

This might seem as not intentional, I just happen to be realizing that I am experiencing words being 'echoed' within and then I say STOP and then I stop.
And there is a deliberate form as well: for instance an email I've wrote and it was important and I was not sure that it is a great idea to send but I did so then I've re-read it for a couple times and see my reactions within.

It is also 'happens' when I end a conversation with somebody what was judgmental within myself - or I am feeling like I could judge it but I did not; or I did suppress myself and I was not really aware what was my reaction - it was like I did feel something and 'now' it's gone - suppressed into my body yet I WANT to feel what was that - and then those words echo in my head.

I am not even sure in all times why exactly happens, for different scenarios I assume it happens for different reasons but the core of it it's obvious that I'm stuck for some moments and not comprehending so then repeating the words to react - and to react more.

It is just a method to be obsessed with words and generate energy within compounding towards specific energetic reactions meanwhile reality goes on but myself not really.

Also it happened like in a moment I responded to someone with words and I felt like awkward what I said - or somebody on the street while I was passing by said something to me - and when I heard it I was busy thinking or focusing or doing something different meanwhile I 'heard' the words but it was like those words went into a 'queue' within my mind and after processing the current thought-stream, those words actually 'got me' and then I react - and that also can 'repeat' for a while.

The first time I was really aware of it when I started to smoke MJ in about 2001 and with mates listening this Depeche Mode: Useless remix: with the lyrics: "Echoing in my mind..."



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as my thoughts and within expressing myself as thoughts believing that I am expressing myself who I am and not realizing that the very manifestation of thoughts is self-suppression within fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat within my head what I felt like it was difficult to face and wanting to repeat until I am sure that I am facing it 'properly' meanwhile in fact I react within myself with fear to face and wanting to fear less and less by facing it again and again until nothing I feel and I can 'go on' in the next moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from feeling something as bad therefore wanting to face it until I do not feel anything within the belief that then I do not feel bad, I am free of it.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within energetic reactions within I manifested myself as not being able to remain silent within when experiencing something what I've defined as not good and wanting to comment it or have a thought about it to equate or balance out the apparently negative energy of fear with something what at least what make sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to define positive within any experience even when I do not find the experience comfortable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define experiences as negative when experiencing fear regarding to the experience - by using thoughts, memories, pictures, physical resonances.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from change when facing fear and not realizing that within defining what I fear as negative - in fact I place myself into a situation wherein I do not/can not change because I separate myself within perception from the physical experience by defining it and judging it as positive and negative and then according to that forming personality how to handle such definitions within regarding to physical reality experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can discipline and direct myself to STOP following and accepting and allowing the self-definitions within positive and negative in any moment if I am aware of what is here within common sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with positive and negative within my mind what I experience as negative, dark, fearful - instead of understanding it and use common sense and remain all ways here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest to myself absolutely that within myself as mind as judged as dark I use and become addicted to energy regardless of it is positive or negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because becoming addicted to energy regardless of judged as positive or negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from facing the fact that deep inside my mind it does not matter that the energy I experience within by thoughts, feelings and reactions that it is positive or negative - it is just energy what I've allowed myself to strive for.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define as joy when thoughts are echoing in my mind regardless of what is the subject of the thought, regardless of what is the reason of the thought manifesting and influencing and in fact directing me on the physical level.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stuck in my mind as thoughts when I am not absolutely clear within instead of using common sense and let go the want to repeat and echo thoughts within my mind in order to re-energize, re-experience, re-define, re-feel re-think something regardless of as it seems as positive or negative - I breathe, I direct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think or believe that thinking and allowing words within myself is not intentional, it just happens, I am experiencing words echoing in my mind and not realizing that I am responsible for accepting and allowing it meanwhile I disregard physical reality here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to re-experience what happened already within self-definition by thoughts and words echoing and repeating within to see that what really happened and trying to learn from it and seeing it was good or bad to be able to learn from it by how I judge myself and not realizing that what happened is done and how I judge it is not real but of fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be sure and clear and aware of how and why I allow words echoing in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to re-read, re-watch my expression what I did in the past to try to judge and re-define it and see that it was good or bad or parts of it was good or bad, cool or uncool and trying to learn from it to make sure that next time I will do better and not realizing that the over-analyzing the past based on self-judgments is not assisting and supporting me but making me living in the past and being obsessed with what I've done is irrelevant if I am disregarding here meanwhile.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with words and generating energy within meanwhile disregarding physical here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself how and what I did as awkward and then echo the words what I did as awkward to define myself as awkward again and again and again until I do not define myself for it as awkward in the belief that then I am not awkward because I believe myself to be who I judge myself to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from what I judge myself for and believing it as real and not being aware of it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be aware of how I've evolved my mind within by drugs and how I've defined myself through experiences with drugs and not being aware of how I've defined myself to be regarding to how I am experiencing words echoing in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with the song of Depeche Mode Useless and defining it as myself and the whole scenario with the 'it's beginning to hurt' with thoughts echoing in my mind and not realizing that I can stop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define experience more than me because experience seems more real than me by defining it and then becoming addicted to define experience and define myself as experience being defined by words and not realizing that I've developed personalities within compressed self-definition systems by defining definitions within based on words and real life events what then I've defined as myself.

Alright - from here this will be a drug-related continuation wherein I walk through the effects of the specific drugs regarding to thoughts echoing in my mind and the slicing experience of perceived time moments thought by thought what made me define this experience as cool and enjoyable because being the sign of my mind falling apart and getting my moment of apparent 'no mind' and 'freedom' therefore defining echoing in my mind as cool and never actually seeing what is the source, the core of myself doing such deed.

I commit myself to investigate, research, look, become intimate with myself and exploring self-honesty about the relationships I've defined within for the 'echoing in my mind' words.
I commit myself to walk through the positive and negative experiences within and see the core of thoughts why and how I've manfiested within what starting point for what specific circumstances the self-suppression within petrification within fear and what methods I've manifested as personality to overcome and bandage my deepest experiences having in this existence as fear from separation, fear from others, fear from myself, fear from being myself and in fact fear from fear without even realizing that the fear is simply separation from what is here within equality and oneness.

I commit myself to expose all my mind activities regarding to how I am utilizing both the positive and negative energies within to remain within and as consciousness of personality and characters what automatically react to specific circumstances and situations within the inner judgment of positive and negative towards it and towards the situations by thoughts of words and understand all of myself and writing it all down, putting everything in front of me and becoming aware of all the self-accepted manifested separation from myself and breath by breath stopping participating within and as fear as perceived separation.

When and as I experience that I am repeating words as thoughts, as echoing within myself, I stop, I breathe, I let all go and I re-align myself with and as the physical, the body, breathing, considering equality within practical presence.

When and as I define thoughts echoing in my mind, or realizing that I do repeat something within - I slow down inside, and if required I physically stop for a moment and allow myself to let go all within until I am clear and continuing to act here.

When and as I feel like 'the nail stuck'(gramophone) within my head - for instance when someone says something what I've defined as hurts - I stop repeating it and stop imagining that the person is saying it again and again and again - and I allow myself to understand it and see what causes within - and if causing thoughts coming up - I stop that within self-direction and express myself in and as the physical - within acting or speaking or even 'just' within breathing actively without fear from being too raw or crazy.

When and as I fear from facing the things what I've defined as negative - I realize that all definitions are lies within - that the reality is not dependant and on definitions - that the fact is fact regardless of defining it as positive or negative - therefore I stop for a moment and look into myself that what is the reason and the core of defining something as negative from what starting point and for what outcome within absolute self-honesty and realizing that anything comes up within I can apply the same: I forgive myself and I let go myself what is not fact but of judgment because any self-judgment I've realized is irrelevelant within for remaining here and acting withint he consideration of all participants for my current context of reality.

When and as I fear from facing consequence within the physical - I realize that is already here - and fear from consequence implies self-judgments regarding to negative polarity already and therefore I allow myself to understand such act within without fearing from losing presence and fearing from losing myself in madness within 'fly down' into the pit of negative-based self-definition systems of myself what driving me to always strive towards the other polarity as 'positive' without questioning it as myself.

When and as I experience words echoing in my mind - I stop it within Self-direction, I stop following the words as thoughts, I stop disregarding physical reality, I stop disregarding common sense within any self-judgment and I re-align myself here breathing and acting as I've realized that following thoughts as words echoing in my mind is in fact energetic addiction with the starting point of fear from myself, fear from already manifested consequences, fear from the unknown, what is not supporting me, what is not really me as Life.

So I will continue this thread with using the Lyrics of the song mentioned here as seeing that is being quite specifically describing what I experienced with specific drugs and how I've defined myself according to that and still defining the whole act of deliberate self-sabotage by justifying thinking with mind-effects as cool and groovy meanwhile in reality I am simply stuck within specific fear.

Thanks!