[JTL 106] Fake fashion, Make up: My story and Self-forgiveness part 2

Continuing on

• [JTL 104] Fake fashion, Make up: My story and Self-forgiveness part 1

to let go self-definitions on women and how they look and what they do to look as they look and I see how I am more and more clear by each writing session one by one and it accumulates.

PROBLEM

Not as I have problems with women at all!
The problem is within automatic reaction and self-definition and lack of seeing the big picture, the facts beyond the feelings.

And that FASHION is boosting! Fashion is obviously fake if we see why it actually exists: MONEY.
Valuing things more than should be, based on feelings and disregard facts: not cool.

See what is fash-i-on:

fash [fæʃ] Scot

n

worry; trouble; bother

vb

to trouble; bother; annoy

[from obsolete French fascher to annoy, ultimately from Latin fastīdium disgust, aversion]

See some facts as well:

• http://www.treehugger.com/sustainable-fashion/25-shocking-fashion-industry-statistics.html
• http://www.statisticbrain.com/fashion-industry-statistics/

So I free myself from any reaction to fashion - positive, negative - cool, uncool, no more polarities.

So that's why I started with make-up - in regards to fashion, make up part is the most bugging for me. Not as it pains me - just I do not agree with it, why it stands, what it stands for and how people are putting attention, focus, energy, occupation into this while it is simply a catalyzed, induced, stimulated, manipulated point by media, magazines, movies, advertisements based on the psychology of the mind, the energetic addiction towards feelings. This has become part of my personality and I say no more, and I walk through it simply and sharing it unconditionally. Why? Because it screws up practical relationships between humans - disregarding physical preferences, real values by definition.

I just do not need any conception, definition, limitation, automatic reaction about 'them' - see this is the point - no more 'them' and 'me' as polarity, separation.

Practical unification is when I am remaining absolutely undefined yet present, empty and still directive as myself - not as the words impacted me in the past and my pre-existing, pre-defined, pre-programmed relationship I re- and re-experience but actually I am capable of considering facts and preventing conflicts in my reality which are not best for all.

And in the past my starting point was surviving, self-interest, fear, limitation, reaction, knowledge - which is here in the way of stepping beyond the limits - and I am not accepting myself as limitations in the mind.

What is limit but my self-created separation from endless possibilities which are consisting of and entailing as the whole existence.

So enough of this philosophical bushcombing, jump into the topic directly!

Last time I wrote Self-forgiveness about make-up and I will continue it with specifying some and then self-correction and self-commitments.

SOLUTION

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what if I kiss her and I feel the taste of her make up on her cheeks and the taste of her lipstick instead of directly her body, her life taste, instead of corporate scientific superficial profit-oriented product-manifestation of the human mind itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think at all when facing make-up, instead of embracing myself and directly express myself as common sense and principle based on my-self-honesty in and as the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to directly point out what I think/see/imagine about make-up towards the woman who I am with and only suppressing what I consist of because of not wanting to be rude and fear from hurting her and also from blocking the gain what I want from her, even being it that make her feel good, nice, comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my mission and who I am is that always making women feel good, comfortable, nice because then that is who I am and by defining that good and then defining myself as good and never considering that it is not about them but myself which is based on a starting point of not being good enough for myself and projected out towards women because feeling separate from values I've defined them having what I perceived as I lack of.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that make-up is not the issue when I am in mood with woman and that is an excuse to tell her that I am not feeling cool about it and actually never considering to make my stand that if I do not want to be with a woman who has make up, then I can state it out and then that is it and I must take the responsibility for that decision and live with the consequences.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to take my guts to always tell people what I would want to because fearing that they might not love me and never considering that how I perceive people loving me is not real it is of fear.

I enjoy expressing myself and considering others as myself as equal as one therefore as principle as Life and within that embracing the being, whatever is she/he/it - I am directive principle what is best for all and within expressing that by common sense - that is the real love and I am living that as writing, saying, acting so in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and define women who always play with makeup and being that her play-tool for expressing herself, automatically defining her as cheap, fallen, brainwashed, even when I see her and finding her as like-able, nice, beautiful, sexy, attractive - seeing her only as a picture what can be used for video/picture/film or simply react to that picture with energy, excitement, amusement, entertainment, distraction from real issues such as energy crisis in human's mind and economic systems within and as humanity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the temptation for finding some women as attractive by comparing her picture presentation with images what I've defined as exciting and arousing and amusing and entertaining and then feeling bad about it when finding out that it is the make-up what makes her that way as I feel and then feeling cheated, tricked, gullible and then experiencing friction within myself and never considering stopping reacting by definitions and enjoying being myself as self-honest and trust myself even when I make mistakes and allowing myself to not judge myself then and learn from direct physical expression as who I am.


I commit myself to stop reacting to make-up and women who wear make up and remain self-honest, empty, directive, embracing and inner silent yet using common sense and express myself within principle.

I commit myself to NOT define women who do not wear makeup as more natural, more real, more being for me.

I commit myself to stop being reactive towards makeup instead of simply remain directive within common sense.

I commit myself to stop thinking makeup is bad and any woman who uses makeup is brainwashed and lost and instead using common sense and seeing it as it is, seeing the woman as a being and seeing beyond the image what I react to.

I commit myself to stop fearing from supporting the beauty industry if I do not react to makeup as it is bad and I stop thinking that I am good if I think makeup is bad.

When and as I see woman wearing a makeup, an eye line or any kind of stuff put on her face - I am here breathing, I am empty, I am silent, I am stable, I am aware that I made the decision to not go into polarity, I remain completely here.

When and as I see a woman wearing a makeup and I am interacting with her - I do not require to feel or think or define or react to her makeup at all by definition, by automation - yet if I do - I do not suppress it, I trust myself and I am aware of my body and the principle of what is best for her and for me and I act within common sense.

When and as I touch a woman's face who has makeup or I kiss it or I lick it - I do not fear from chemicals going into my body and I remain here and I make my decision that if I do not want to the makeup go into my body then I do not touch, kiss, lick it and then if required, I communicate so, within calm, relaxed stabe and I realize I do not require to fear from anything at all.

When and as I react to makeup at all, especially to advertisements, women who have confidence with it - I stop and I realize I react to my own self-created self-definitions so I breathe and I let it go, I remove, I delete it as Self-direction and I stand here as expression directly without any feeling, emotion, thought needing.

When and as I fear that I am being directed, influenced or manipulated with makeup - I realize it is just a picture and if I react to it - then it is myself who is responsible and I check and see what is within me what has the starting point of fear to react as not trusting myself absolutely to remain direct, here without the thoughts, feelings, emotions, pictures, definitions, reactions, energies of the mind and I make my stand in one breath.

I am clear that the beauty industry which is of money is not about real beauty as the real beauty is when one is not directed with the mind at all and within this world I do not really see beauty as it is the same as with the word 'nice' as anything can be referred as beautiful and nice and it is of the mind, as feeling, energy, which is coming from disregarding physical here.

Opposite polarity:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define women who do not use makeup that they are more beautiful than any women who use makeup because they are not trying to cheat with the mind and not wanting to wear masks but they make their face available as it is and that is who they are and within thinking these feeling positive about them and never realizing it is only myself who I react to and what I experience as positive is based on my own value-system which is in fact in the way of direct experience of what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define woman face who has scars/pimples/red dots/tiny holes as less attractive and beautiful for me and thinking that she might have some psychological issue what her body is showing by the flaws I see on her face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define woman's face who has skin which looks like red dots and irritated that she is irritated from herself so much that her body is manifested equal as one and thinking by that I feel that I know what is going on and it is just knowledge and information I try to use to figure out the reason why she has not the skin that is healthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always think that woman has sexual issues when having pimples/red dots around her chin because my ex told that when she was learning this on her psychological study at the university and by that information always thinking/saying that about a woman who has pimples/red dots/scars around her chin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define woman who does not care about fashion and wears clothes as comfortable as normal being just like me and not as all other women who wear clothes what are sexual/whorish/teasing with revealing parts of her body or pronouncing what seem like other people especially men define as exciting/arousing/sexy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfortable to be natural as myself with woman who does wear clothes what is comfortable, not like fashion-based and revealing body parts and then simply being myself without any influence of external conditioning to play roles and character according to the program what I've defined since childhood as 'beautiful, attractive woman is here to please'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define women with bushy legs and pussy and armpit as strong because she does not go with the flow of the mainstream but she actually does not care and not defining herself according to the fashion of shaving and defining shaving as normal and not shaving as ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not define practical a woman being un-shaved when having sex with me because then many parts of her is hidden, and beyond bush so then it is not reachable and not pleasant the fur to eat and therefore defining good to have shaved and meanwhile understanding that when living in nature with less clothes, bush can protect there and then with these definitions automatically reacting to situations and creating frictions within me - instead of remain here, undefined, and use common sense and just trust myself within expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define women who do not use perfume as cool and natural and actually feeling more comfortable with them because then they do not play the role of beauty system so I do not have to do either and then I can be myself instead of just being myself unconditionally without any fear in all moments here.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be honest with myself in terms of what conflicts I accept and allow within regarding to women and ever considering seeing those and solving them instead of remaining within conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not having partner if I am absolutely self-honest with myself and expressing that to women because all I've learned is that if I want to pick up woman, I have to act like I've seen in movies/media.

When and as I see women as not using makeup and wearing normal, practical clothes I do not react, I remain here, I slow down and I breathe and not go into reaction of positive and negative at all.

When and as I see women being natural even when not shaving - I remain here, empty, silent yet completely expressive in each moment and breath by breath stabilize myself to not react but act within self-honesty.

When and as I fear I am not good enough - I stop, I realize it is a fear from childhood which is not required, it is what I stop and let go within self-trust what is always here as the moment as my physical.

I commit myself to stop the polarity manifestation of beauty and ugliness and defining things and people - but use common sense and see within Principle as Life.

So that is all about beauty for today - it is something I do not really have issue with however I am absolutely sure what is NOT beauty just the same with LOVE.

For me LOVE would be if everybody could LIVE supported by others at least equally on the physical, basic level such as food, shelter, education, health care, shelter - what every BODY requires - so for me beauty LOVE is the physical equality which is existing on universal level or existing as of interest.

And people do say to me that speaking about universal principles is not practical, not relevant and not real as it is uncatch-able, unreachable, ungrasp-able, but I do not require too much sense for considering what I do not want for myself: I do not want to others either. That is simple to always consider within each decision we make - but requires actually doing it - what it means - within my current location of reality - what are all the participants, what I can have directive principle towards to and that I consider within common sense. Myself alone, my flat, my street, workmates, family, on the bus - considering what would be the best what I can do in that moment for all.

Obviously it is not about starting to accuse people on the bus about why they use makeup instead of pay for water supply in Uganda or Congo or today's topic: Syria. Hundreds of thousands of people are screwed up with no food, shelter, future.

But to stand up and see what are the directive powers in this society which are: politics, law what comes through voting. Not revolution, not wars, but people use democracy for what is best for each participants: that is the only way without self-destruction and creating another shit storm ending up with more genocide what we constantly have today simply because it is of this economy what drives the way of the human until we form groups and accumulate consistency within standing up for what is practical and useful for all participants. Because otherwise the problems will compound and more and more unsatisfied people will be everywhere, especially those who lack of basic requirements for stay alive.

And I am quite sure how frustrated, angry, fucked up, tired, weak, sick and twisted I can be if I do not eat, I do not rest, I am sick or I do not have water for a while - not even speaking about weeks, years but days, hours: that I am sure I do not really want for anybody. And also it is sure that those people who experience this: do not give a fuck about beauty and makeup today, because that is irrelevant when the basic requirements for life is compromised.

And good intention is not enough - as it is of the mind to compensate not feel bad but good for some moments - so I stand up here and I do say that

equal care for all where real beauty could be born - when it is about the physical love - otherwise it is just a feeling what one is squeezing with the thoughts, the images, the polarity of the mind - and that is not practical, not even real, so within Self-honesty it can be realized, transcended, removed for the betterment of all life.

Every day writing is not something what can come by itself and without that - one's stability is really dependent on things what are unpredictable - and by considering writing is almost free - just a pen and paper - or sand and a stick or a keyboard and a screen with some mega-gigahertz pulsating - anyone can slow themselves to see who they really are layer by layer, character by character, thought by thought, and to see what is self-made up - just like the images we strive towards as nice and beautiful.

As the people who are at the brink of surviving in those exploited countries: they do not have opportunity to work on their delusions - they are busy dieing within the lack of the basic requirements of life. Let us appreciate what we have here as the future is unpredictable and tomorrow comes and will be yesterday and better to face the already manifested shit and work on preventing to escalate more towards the children to come. Today with the point of beauty fuck up.

Fuck Beauty - There are More Important Things in The World

Just look at some comparison pictures to the celebrities how they look in their daily life and how they look on screen: it's all make-up, fashion, screwing with the mind - nothing of that really matters in the real, long-term stable relationships, everybody can realize that after flirting with some good looking disco-chick who can barely know how to make basic math and no offense but many has chosen to pursue beauty of the image and outfit and that is so obvious for the ones who are not falling into the media and brainwash.

But after all it is always based on who we accept ourselves to be and if we want images to fuck, pictures to praise - it is possible, I am not to judge but please consider the consequences for yourself, your body, your environment, your economy, your future generations and most importantly: your self-honesty.

As I do not really say it is the hugest fuck up when you try to look good and you go after it but when you forget that you made that character, and it is who you became and you react to it, you define yourself by it and you put value and trust on it, it is coming alive within your mind as an entity what you create with words, relationship with words, energy reactions to words and that with you deliberately separate yourself occasion by occasion from the direct, real, physical experience of everything what is here as life.

Also consider this: when you use mask to look better: you use your mind to physically 'photoshop' your face - and then people will react to the photoshopped image, not you: and their mind reacts to that, not their beingness, so it is not even personal, it's just mind business: Energy, just like eco-no-me, where ecology is not me anymore but a self-sustaining system.

What is the starting point for not feeling good enough? Why not loving self unconditionally? Easy to say when you feel like a giant pizza-whale-lizard-monkey you define to be seen in the mirror? Walk through it word by word and forgive all - and consider what is really important for long term.

Investigate, investigate, investigate.

Also when people react to the make up("make up"-ed?) faces - they react to their own definitions and pictures in their mind they made up - and then will associate and remember and make up the relationship with it and then is that real?
The addiction for feelings seems to be tough but as it has been taught, it can be walked through and finding more natural, enjoyable, real values in this life.

There is a fine line among enjoying self and expressing with clothes, style between supporting mind, energy, money of an industry what is creating more separation especially within those who are unprotected from the cons of consciousness: children, uneducated people who will simply become what they are exposed to without question.

And to promote that, to participate within this system: responsibility what creates consequences which are inevitable to face, that is this existence who we are: Equality and Oneness.

REWARD

I deal with the physical directly as Life in regards to women(and men too!) and their picture presentation and I do not react to my preferences and polarity of personality but I actually deal with facts and consider what is practical yet able to enjoy direct reality communicated, shared with women.
I disregard the pressure of fashion industry what is selling so much stuff what is not practical and only feeds the mind - and I do not need this 'culture' of 'fashion' of the 'mind' - I am here to experience and express directly.
Not based on media, fashion, education, desire, fear, what are of the mind and ever changing but the actual beingness and innocence as self-expression.

If I write daily - I slow down and I decode what I react, how I feel, what I see, why I want what I want - then I can decompose and see the energy, the reaction, the starting point - and I do say every human's beingness is tainted with surviving, fear - and unless one is not daring to go deep - will not even realize it as it is so down there beyond countless of layers of words of energy of consciousness - that's why consistent, dedicated investigation required.

So that's why there is

D E S T E N I  I  P R O C E S S  (And for starters: the FREE Desteni I Process LITE course) to support the ones who are ready to walk through the personality and find out what is beyond energy, consciousness, conditional beauty and see what Life really could be within Equality and Oneness.

Also some Self-support on beauty from EQAFE :

[JTL 104] Fake fashion, Make up: My story and Self-forgiveness part 1

Hundreds of posters like this in London, Hackney Wick

Walking every day in Budapest downtown I see many(more and more) women are wearing make-up and I always reacted to this and it is time to stop the mind and make my stand to remain undefined and be LIFE.
So let's decompose what I accepted and allowed to be:


I never really liked the whole beauty industry and it was always clear to me that actual girls, women are really becoming fucked up by comparing the brand/media/film/beauty industry-promoted images with how they look and make them react and to compensate their lack of self-esteem, self-trust, self-integrity and inferiority, they fall into the temptation of actually spending money to things what are obviously not healthy, strengthening mind-reactions, fear and not only disrespecting real woman values but actually making beauty something what can be boosted with money and craft, however the real beauty for me was always the actual disregard of any polarity/comparison of whole concept of beauty as it creates ugliness and judgment/separation and always exposes being existing in fear what for me was always like turn off from enjoying beauty as the whole thing is just an experience and only can be enjoyed if priorities are alright, meaning in the danger of death I never care about beauty even about the mythical woman in red dress...

What people do not realize just like with movies that there might be some seconds talk and how they appear: as cool and nice and in fact many people worked on for maybe days/months to sound cool and look awesome with lots of time(and money!). And they record it from dozens of angles and re-record the speak many-many times and it is might not be natural at all. And in post-production a little reverb in the speak make them sound more theatrical and with state of the art visual specialists being payed: in fact anyone can look just anything they like her/him to be seen.
So that within advertisement and films, videoclips and photos can be really deceiving, especially for the generations who grown up with TV and magazines always telling who and what are nice. That influences people, especially who use thoughts, memories, pictures to express themselves to be.

So that goes also with clothes/shoes/boots I've defined as whore-ish and when I had a partner back there who was really nice for me by defailt and I saw her clothed like craving for acceptance and positive affirmation and in fact sex - I always was like "WTF girl you have in your head, your ego needs to die utterly" -  and I just disliked the whole concept of trying to boost beauty with these things as spiky high-heels and white-transparent-camel-toeish revealing pants and stretched nipple-showing shirts and all those things and of course it is me who reacted within but then I realized as I enjoyed it on screen, I did not really enjoyed it with my partner(it was in about 2006) so I always made her naked asap I could and she was just more beautiful like that for me...probably that's why I went to the whole hippie nudist lifestlye after all, to just be as natural as possible without any hiding and manipulation...
I went to the other side of judgment-polarity obviously but the thing what I defined as positive is that you can immediately see what you can get, no hiding, no games, no manipulation with stripes and padded bras and cockteasing bikinis: strange but after everyone is naked it does not fascinates my mind that much - in fact I can see how each pussy is kind of the same, so then what? I can focus on their beingness and see who they actually are. Of course there are some who also use this to manipulate and lure the mind but not that is the 'normal' in that scene but more likely 'I accept you as you look just as you are and you accept me as I am' was for me. Meaning here how people actually look, not how people attach positive energy reaction to self-definition of feeling good being naked among others as that is freedom or any other fall into the mind to tell me what is what instead of directly experience(because then that is the same as with clothes and money). But anyway, if one uses common sense, after backtracking points: money always comes in as directive power - that's why we promote an Equal Money System wherein each can have a life to enjoy first and when everyone is supported, then the rest of the 'resources/energy/money' can be played with but real love and compassion and beauty would be to feed everyone.
Alright, back to the city, every day subway scene, decolletage at my face with narcotic perfumes in the face: I smell bullshit(and lot$ of money) here!

Even there is a part within what was was like this when I was younger: - I am simple, normal, quiet guy, I have no common ground and even chance with those 'worldy sexy rich bitches', so I formed a reaction that it is really bad, at least for me.

That also assisted me to see it more as it is with the analytic mind of 'well how to judge them as bad, well, use logic and not just say bullshit but try to prove my point' so then I came to the conclusion that:

• fashion is always about money, clothes, uncomfortable, body-abusing heels and even in -20c cold wearing skirt thing is so dumb for reaction from men{ and women}
• make-up makes women with no make-up pale and grey 
• make-up also is about money and low-self-esteem and lack of self-trust
• natural beauty exists as not by comparison but self-confidence and self-expression
• on screen with huge and hot lights for filming actually make-up is required to not look like being in oceanic tropical hot jungle
• clothing bitchy fuel perv & rapists mind and objectifying women and brainwash kids that these are the important values, not the real love as equal sharing goods with everyone etc
• not even going into the animal testing part as lots of companies still do that what is absolutely unacceptable

So ranting on these I revealed many as I have formed myself with lots of judgments(among with some what are FACTS) what I walk through here to see what I can stand with what is best for all:

Self-forgiveness: Self-definition about women, reacting to:

Make-up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define women as fake who put on make up and wear obviously uncomfortable clothes, shoes and thinking that she must be really screwed up within to wear that mask to try to make others to love her because she does not love herself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike perfumes of women especially those who put on so much I barely can bear it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for the face of the women who I see put make up on remembering thinking those substances on the skin going into the body, the blood, the brain wreaking havoc in cells.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define a woman who has makeup immediately as a no-go for considering for a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that women using dark eye-paint in their makeup that they look like from addams family and thinking that it must harm their eyes and feeling really the opposite of sexual attraction towards them what I think they want to make feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that women who go out walking the dog while wearing ridiculously bold and unnatural make up that they must be extremely screwed up within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define make up only cool for special occasions or acting in movies and when seeing somebody in make up I do not really know that they might go to a special occasion or to act in a movie but I still think it is highly unlikely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically feel positive and sympathy for a woman who does not use make up even it means she does not concealing lack of geometrical perfection within the details of her face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a woman who wears make up every day can not be 'normal' and defining all women who even I notice wearing a 'basic' make up, they must be lost and fearful within therefore not considering them as beings as equal as me but as feeling pity for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like wanting to laugh at the women's faces who wear make up sometimes because I feel like I want to laugh at the demon within them what is of fear and the beauty demon what they feed within and as themselves and not realizing that it is of my judgment I face, my demon I want to poke.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself who I am as if I want a partner then definitely somebody who does not wear make up or at least every day for sure not and by that limit myself and judging myself for that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that reacting to makeup actually I am reacting to my self-definitions and nothing to do with the woman's face and the woman's beingness but only myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into conflict within by judging and reacting to make up at all and not realizing that I can have a point where to stand within decision and then simply express without going into self-judgment and never realizing that I go inner conflict regarding to make-up because I see that my definitions of it and about it is not clear, self-honest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not standing firmly within my decision as not wanting to be with a woman who uses makeup by not being sure that with this decision I can have my partner I want to be and also fearing that with this decision I might actually miss the point meaning wearing make up does really matters that much or I just react to my self-definitions as fearing from my belief becoming true that the woman who uses make up might be screwed within and I do not want to be part of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define make-up as something what I must react with negative feeling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define make-up as bad because defining and thinking that the woman who puts that up must be and probably is fears from not being beauty enough and defining beauty according to media and brainwash and then by that defining her being brainwashed, lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and fear from not being aware of if a woman has make up and then defining her attractive and believing that I react to herself as defining her as 'naturally she is like that' meanwhile what I adore is her skills and the money she spent on to look like that and the company and all of the things that they did in order to make the product and by that supporting deception, abuse and mind fuck.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel positive by defining that I am glad I am man and not woman and not realizing that it's starting point is fear from how I could act if I were be woman and not realizing that by separating myself from women I actually support fear and deception what is the starting point of women fall into the whole make-up stuff.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate beauty industry and the whole thing that they have lot of money to pay for placing photo-shopped and lots of design and make up-ed women picture all over the city with brands to lure women into inferiority by giving them something to compare themselves with as picture through and as the mind and induce doubt, fear, inferiority what they want to compensate then with the product, believing that if they buy the shit then they will be beautiful and not needing to feel not beautiful and inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry towards these huge 'beauty demon industry' posters and neon-lighted glasses with apparently beautiful women pictures what are teasing, sexy and wanting to smash these and destroy as being aware how much shit these create within women and men as well by defining normal and nice these what people see every fucking day over and over and over again and feeling angry because feeling myself helpless because everyone accepts it and even myself, only feeling shit about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to overcome anger towards media industry by wanting to find a partner who is just beautiful without any makeup and expensive shit and not realizing that I am already lured into the polarity game of the mind of ugly and beauty and wanting to go to the sunny side, the light, the positive as feeling better when reacting to image what seems beautiful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the only solution from this is to accumulate self-stability, self-direction and educate myself and others about what are the real values and to actually stop the mind and assist and support others who are walking the same process to stop the mind of polarity, of energy, of separation, of fear, of self-dishonesty.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge those who fall into the trap of fashion and thought-image-feeling-reaction into and as the mind instead of taking responsibility for and as them as myself as equal as one and see how I am falling into the reaction of polarity of thoughts of mind and realize that in fact from Absolute Self-honesty, it does not matter what is the picture, great looking synthesizer for instance for me: the reaction and energy what is not the physical is the same.

Wow this is kind of a deep topic, I stop it here today, more points, Self-forgiveness, Self-correction will be shared...


Meanwhile educate yourself and others at EQAFE.COM about how the mind and reality and existence and animals and the whole system works to stop being the whore of energy of self-interest and be LIFE and what is Best for all!