Monday, September 9, 2013

[JTL 106] Fake fashion, Make up: My story and Self-forgiveness part 2

Continuing on
to let go self-definitions on women and how they look and what they do to look as they look and I see how I am more and more clear by each writing session one by one and it accumulates.


Not as I have problems with women at all!
The problem is within automatic reaction and self-definition and lack of seeing the big picture, the facts beyond the feelings.

And that FASHION is boosting! Fashion is obviously fake if we see why it actually exists: MONEY.
Valuing things more than should be, based on feelings and disregard facts: not cool.

See what is fash-i-on:
fash [fæʃ] Scot
worry; trouble; bother
to trouble; bother; annoy
[from obsolete French fascher to annoy, ultimately from Latin fastīdium disgust, aversion]

See some facts as well:

So I free myself from any reaction to fashion - positive, negative - cool, uncool, no more polarities.

So that's why I started with make-up - in regards to fashion, make up part is the most bugging for me. Not as it pains me - just I do not agree with it, why it stands, what it stands for and how people are putting attention, focus, energy, occupation into this while it is simply a catalyzed, induced, stimulated, manipulated point by media, magazines, movies, advertisements based on the psychology of the mind, the energetic addiction towards feelings. This has become part of my personality and I say no more, and I walk through it simply and sharing it unconditionally. Why? Because it screws up practical relationships between humans - disregarding physical preferences, real values by definition.

I just do not need any conception, definition, limitation, automatic reaction about 'them' - see this is the point - no more 'them' and 'me' as polarity, separation.

Practical unification is when I am remaining absolutely undefined yet present, empty and still directive as myself - not as the words impacted me in the past and my pre-existing, pre-defined, pre-programmed relationship I re- and re-experience but actually I am capable of considering facts and preventing conflicts in my reality which are not best for all.

And in the past my starting point was surviving, self-interest, fear, limitation, reaction, knowledge - which is here in the way of stepping beyond the limits - and I am not accepting myself as limitations in the mind.

What is limit but my self-created separation from endless possibilities which are consisting of and entailing as the whole existence.

So enough of this philosophical bushcombing, jump into the topic directly!

Last time I wrote Self-forgiveness about make-up and I will continue it with specifying some and then self-correction and self-commitments.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what if I kiss her and I feel the taste of her make up on her cheeks and the taste of her lipstick instead of directly her body, her life taste, instead of corporate scientific superficial profit-oriented product-manifestation of the human mind itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think at all when facing make-up, instead of embracing myself and directly express myself as common sense and principle based on my-self-honesty in and as the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to directly point out what I think/see/imagine about make-up towards the woman who I am with and only suppressing what I consist of because of not wanting to be rude and fear from hurting her and also from blocking the gain what I want from her, even being it that make her feel good, nice, comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my mission and who I am is that always making women feel good, comfortable, nice because then that is who I am and by defining that good and then defining myself as good and never considering that it is not about them but myself which is based on a starting point of not being good enough for myself and projected out towards women because feeling separate from values I've defined them having what I perceived as I lack of.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that make-up is not the issue when I am in mood with woman and that is an excuse to tell her that I am not feeling cool about it and actually never considering to make my stand that if I do not want to be with a woman who has make up, then I can state it out and then that is it and I must take the responsibility for that decision and live with the consequences.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to take my guts to always tell people what I would want to because fearing that they might not love me and never considering that how I perceive people loving me is not real it is of fear.

I enjoy expressing myself and considering others as myself as equal as one therefore as principle as Life and within that embracing the being, whatever is she/he/it - I am directive principle what is best for all and within expressing that by common sense - that is the real love and I am living that as writing, saying, acting so in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and define women who always play with makeup and being that her play-tool for expressing herself, automatically defining her as cheap, fallen, brainwashed, even when I see her and finding her as like-able, nice, beautiful, sexy, attractive - seeing her only as a picture what can be used for video/picture/film or simply react to that picture with energy, excitement, amusement, entertainment, distraction from real issues such as energy crisis in human's mind and economic systems within and as humanity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the temptation for finding some women as attractive by comparing her picture presentation with images what I've defined as exciting and arousing and amusing and entertaining and then feeling bad about it when finding out that it is the make-up what makes her that way as I feel and then feeling cheated, tricked, gullible and then experiencing friction within myself and never considering stopping reacting by definitions and enjoying being myself as self-honest and trust myself even when I make mistakes and allowing myself to not judge myself then and learn from direct physical expression as who I am.

I commit myself to stop reacting to make-up and women who wear make up and remain self-honest, empty, directive, embracing and inner silent yet using common sense and express myself within principle.

I commit myself to NOT define women who do not wear makeup as more natural, more real, more being for me.

I commit myself to stop being reactive towards makeup instead of simply remain directive within common sense.

I commit myself to stop thinking makeup is bad and any woman who uses makeup is brainwashed and lost and instead using common sense and seeing it as it is, seeing the woman as a being and seeing beyond the image what I react to.

I commit myself to stop fearing from supporting the beauty industry if I do not react to makeup as it is bad and I stop thinking that I am good if I think makeup is bad.

When and as I see woman wearing a makeup, an eye line or any kind of stuff put on her face - I am here breathing, I am empty, I am silent, I am stable, I am aware that I made the decision to not go into polarity, I remain completely here.

When and as I see a woman wearing a makeup and I am interacting with her - I do not require to feel or think or define or react to her makeup at all by definition, by automation - yet if I do - I do not suppress it, I trust myself and I am aware of my body and the principle of what is best for her and for me and I act within common sense.

When and as I touch a woman's face who has makeup or I kiss it or I lick it - I do not fear from chemicals going into my body and I remain here and I make my decision that if I do not want to the makeup go into my body then I do not touch, kiss, lick it and then if required, I communicate so, within calm, relaxed stabe and I realize I do not require to fear from anything at all.

When and as I react to makeup at all, especially to advertisements, women who have confidence with it - I stop and I realize I react to my own self-created self-definitions so I breathe and I let it go, I remove, I delete it as Self-direction and I stand here as expression directly without any feeling, emotion, thought needing.

When and as I fear that I am being directed, influenced or manipulated with makeup - I realize it is just a picture and if I react to it - then it is myself who is responsible and I check and see what is within me what has the starting point of fear to react as not trusting myself absolutely to remain direct, here without the thoughts, feelings, emotions, pictures, definitions, reactions, energies of the mind and I make my stand in one breath.

I am clear that the beauty industry which is of money is not about real beauty as the real beauty is when one is not directed with the mind at all and within this world I do not really see beauty as it is the same as with the word 'nice' as anything can be referred as beautiful and nice and it is of the mind, as feeling, energy, which is coming from disregarding physical here.

Opposite polarity:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define women who do not use makeup that they are more beautiful than any women who use makeup because they are not trying to cheat with the mind and not wanting to wear masks but they make their face available as it is and that is who they are and within thinking these feeling positive about them and never realizing it is only myself who I react to and what I experience as positive is based on my own value-system which is in fact in the way of direct experience of what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define woman face who has scars/pimples/red dots/tiny holes as less attractive and beautiful for me and thinking that she might have some psychological issue what her body is showing by the flaws I see on her face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define woman's face who has skin which looks like red dots and irritated that she is irritated from herself so much that her body is manifested equal as one and thinking by that I feel that I know what is going on and it is just knowledge and information I try to use to figure out the reason why she has not the skin that is healthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always think that woman has sexual issues when having pimples/red dots around her chin because my ex told that when she was learning this on her psychological study at the university and by that information always thinking/saying that about a woman who has pimples/red dots/scars around her chin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define woman who does not care about fashion and wears clothes as comfortable as normal being just like me and not as all other women who wear clothes what are sexual/whorish/teasing with revealing parts of her body or pronouncing what seem like other people especially men define as exciting/arousing/sexy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfortable to be natural as myself with woman who does wear clothes what is comfortable, not like fashion-based and revealing body parts and then simply being myself without any influence of external conditioning to play roles and character according to the program what I've defined since childhood as 'beautiful, attractive woman is here to please'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define women with bushy legs and pussy and armpit as strong because she does not go with the flow of the mainstream but she actually does not care and not defining herself according to the fashion of shaving and defining shaving as normal and not shaving as ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not define practical a woman being un-shaved when having sex with me because then many parts of her is hidden, and beyond bush so then it is not reachable and not pleasant the fur to eat and therefore defining good to have shaved and meanwhile understanding that when living in nature with less clothes, bush can protect there and then with these definitions automatically reacting to situations and creating frictions within me - instead of remain here, undefined, and use common sense and just trust myself within expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define women who do not use perfume as cool and natural and actually feeling more comfortable with them because then they do not play the role of beauty system so I do not have to do either and then I can be myself instead of just being myself unconditionally without any fear in all moments here.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be honest with myself in terms of what conflicts I accept and allow within regarding to women and ever considering seeing those and solving them instead of remaining within conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not having partner if I am absolutely self-honest with myself and expressing that to women because all I've learned is that if I want to pick up woman, I have to act like I've seen in movies/media.

When and as I see women as not using makeup and wearing normal, practical clothes I do not react, I remain here, I slow down and I breathe and not go into reaction of positive and negative at all.

When and as I see women being natural even when not shaving - I remain here, empty, silent yet completely expressive in each moment and breath by breath stabilize myself to not react but act within self-honesty.

When and as I fear I am not good enough - I stop, I realize it is a fear from childhood which is not required, it is what I stop and let go within self-trust what is always here as the moment as my physical.

I commit myself to stop the polarity manifestation of beauty and ugliness and defining things and people - but use common sense and see within Principle as Life.

So that is all about beauty for today - it is something I do not really have issue with however I am absolutely sure what is NOT beauty just the same with LOVE.

For me LOVE would be if everybody could LIVE supported by others at least equally on the physical, basic level such as food, shelter, education, health care, shelter - what every BODY requires - so for me beauty LOVE is the physical equality which is existing on universal level or existing as of interest.

And people do say to me that speaking about universal principles is not practical, not relevant and not real as it is uncatch-able, unreachable, ungrasp-able, but I do not require too much sense for considering what I do not want for myself: I do not want to others either. That is simple to always consider within each decision we make - but requires actually doing it - what it means - within my current location of reality - what are all the participants, what I can have directive principle towards to and that I consider within common sense. Myself alone, my flat, my street, workmates, family, on the bus - considering what would be the best what I can do in that moment for all.

Obviously it is not about starting to accuse people on the bus about why they use makeup instead of pay for water supply in Uganda or Congo or today's topic: Syria. Hundreds of thousands of people are screwed up with no food, shelter, future.

But to stand up and see what are the directive powers in this society which are: politics, law what comes through voting. Not revolution, not wars, but people use democracy for what is best for each participants: that is the only way without self-destruction and creating another shit storm ending up with more genocide what we constantly have today simply because it is of this economy what drives the way of the human until we form groups and accumulate consistency within standing up for what is practical and useful for all participants. Because otherwise the problems will compound and more and more unsatisfied people will be everywhere, especially those who lack of basic requirements for stay alive.

And I am quite sure how frustrated, angry, fucked up, tired, weak, sick and twisted I can be if I do not eat, I do not rest, I am sick or I do not have water for a while - not even speaking about weeks, years but days, hours: that I am sure I do not really want for anybody. And also it is sure that those people who experience this: do not give a fuck about beauty and makeup today, because that is irrelevant when the basic requirements for life is compromised.

And good intention is not enough - as it is of the mind to compensate not feel bad but good for some moments - so I stand up here and I do say that

equal care for all where real beauty could be born - when it is about the physical love - otherwise it is just a feeling what one is squeezing with the thoughts, the images, the polarity of the mind - and that is not practical, not even real, so within Self-honesty it can be realized, transcended, removed for the betterment of all life.

Every day writing is not something what can come by itself and without that - one's stability is really dependent on things what are unpredictable - and by considering writing is almost free - just a pen and paper - or sand and a stick or a keyboard and a screen with some mega-gigahertz pulsating - anyone can slow themselves to see who they really are layer by layer, character by character, thought by thought, and to see what is self-made up - just like the images we strive towards as nice and beautiful.

As the people who are at the brink of surviving in those exploited countries: they do not have opportunity to work on their delusions - they are busy dieing within the lack of the basic requirements of life. Let us appreciate what we have here as the future is unpredictable and tomorrow comes and will be yesterday and better to face the already manifested shit and work on preventing to escalate more towards the children to come. Today with the point of beauty fuck up.

Fuck Beauty - There are More Important Things in The World

Just look at some comparison pictures to the celebrities how they look in their daily life and how they look on screen: it's all make-up, fashion, screwing with the mind - nothing of that really matters in the real, long-term stable relationships, everybody can realize that after flirting with some good looking disco-chick who can barely know how to make basic math and no offense but many has chosen to pursue beauty of the image and outfit and that is so obvious for the ones who are not falling into the media and brainwash.

But after all it is always based on who we accept ourselves to be and if we want images to fuck, pictures to praise - it is possible, I am not to judge but please consider the consequences for yourself, your body, your environment, your economy, your future generations and most importantly: your self-honesty.

As I do not really say it is the hugest fuck up when you try to look good and you go after it but when you forget that you made that character, and it is who you became and you react to it, you define yourself by it and you put value and trust on it, it is coming alive within your mind as an entity what you create with words, relationship with words, energy reactions to words and that with you deliberately separate yourself occasion by occasion from the direct, real, physical experience of everything what is here as life.

Also consider this: when you use mask to look better: you use your mind to physically 'photoshop' your face - and then people will react to the photoshopped image, not you: and their mind reacts to that, not their beingness, so it is not even personal, it's just mind business: Energy, just like eco-no-me, where ecology is not me anymore but a self-sustaining system.

What is the starting point for not feeling good enough? Why not loving self unconditionally? Easy to say when you feel like a giant pizza-whale-lizard-monkey you define to be seen in the mirror? Walk through it word by word and forgive all - and consider what is really important for long term.

Investigate, investigate, investigate.

Also when people react to the make up("make up"-ed?) faces - they react to their own definitions and pictures in their mind they made up - and then will associate and remember and make up the relationship with it and then is that real?
The addiction for feelings seems to be tough but as it has been taught, it can be walked through and finding more natural, enjoyable, real values in this life.

There is a fine line among enjoying self and expressing with clothes, style between supporting mind, energy, money of an industry what is creating more separation especially within those who are unprotected from the cons of consciousness: children, uneducated people who will simply become what they are exposed to without question.

And to promote that, to participate within this system: responsibility what creates consequences which are inevitable to face, that is this existence who we are: Equality and Oneness.


I deal with the physical directly as Life in regards to women(and men too!) and their picture presentation and I do not react to my preferences and polarity of personality but I actually deal with facts and consider what is practical yet able to enjoy direct reality communicated, shared with women.
I disregard the pressure of fashion industry what is selling so much stuff what is not practical and only feeds the mind - and I do not need this 'culture' of 'fashion' of the 'mind' - I am here to experience and express directly.
Not based on media, fashion, education, desire, fear, what are of the mind and ever changing but the actual beingness and innocence as self-expression.

If I write daily - I slow down and I decode what I react, how I feel, what I see, why I want what I want - then I can decompose and see the energy, the reaction, the starting point - and I do say every human's beingness is tainted with surviving, fear - and unless one is not daring to go deep - will not even realize it as it is so down there beyond countless of layers of words of energy of consciousness - that's why consistent, dedicated investigation required.

So that's why there is

D E S T E N I  I  P R O C E S S  (And for starters: the FREE Desteni I Process LITE course) to support the ones who are ready to walk through the personality and find out what is beyond energy, consciousness, conditional beauty and see what Life really could be within Equality and Oneness.

Also some Self-support on beauty from EQAFE :

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