Saturday, November 1, 2008

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to supress cry.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realise that when I supress cry then it will manifest deliberately in other ways.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as sexual energy.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as sexual desire.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to participate within the ideas of energy.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use drugs as masturbation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use meditation as masturbation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge masturbation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to supress the need of masturbation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use pictures or videos to become aroused.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that when I am here as breath - then I can not participate within memory as pictures and then I can not 'have' orgasm on this way.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to supress my breath as myself in order to be able to participate within and as pictures of the mind consciousness system.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that within participation of theese pictures - I am one and equal with and as theese pictures. No more but pictures.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that I do not need to chase my desire because I desire for the totality of myslf but until I desire - I am desire instead of realise that I am totally here already.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fight against myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from being alone.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to remain alone.
I forgive muself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from judgement of others if I would open myself unconditionally. This indicates that I still keep dishonesties what I use as self-definition and that's why would be shame to share this because then I would have to face with the reflection of others what I used to define myself indirectly.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed a need to define myself.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that within this needness I've became the need itself - instead of realise that everything is here as me as one as equal.


So I suggest to myself to write about cry - because is has to be released.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define cry as a mark of weakness - and that's why trying to avoid it.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word: cry.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define cry as weakness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to other's reaction.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become controlled by my desire.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from sex.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge sex.

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