[JTL 126] ART decomposition, Self-forgiveness part 2

Yesterday I was writing about what definitions, judgments I am holding onto in regards to the word: ART.

Art has been one of the most used - and maybe abused words - as I see there could be polarity in that.

Art versus mundane - but in daily life one can find art - just anywhere - so art probably by itself means literally nothing/everything.

Art school or computer science school - can a fart ever be a fan art? Artificial artillery of Artemis is ARTiculed so by the word it would suggest something 'great', 'skillful'.

The value we give to it - and that value is measured with money - and obviously if we all were alright, we would not prioritize any form of commonly accepted 'art' being more important than a human - or animal - life.

One painting worths of billions while there are actually real people who starve to death while one hyperrich buys that piece of canvas with those colorspots. I do not feel alright about this - real value is what is real and not interchangeable.

It might seem that this kid looks like the same as that one but certainly they are two different human beings, indiviual expressions of LIFE itself equally. So the screwed-upness in the system currently how regards art is just crazy and obviously we are all responsible for it as we actually VALUE things within our head and prioritizing what is more important than other.

Also many people create films, movies in the name of art and then selling it for lot of money - and they live 'great' - art sells, as long as it is popular.

For me probably more things can be referred as art than others - a spider or a sunglare - a dead dove or owlpuke - glorious or dreadful - it does not really matter.

Who can say BREATH is not ART - when I Breath - I am here as eARTh - heart of earth is where breath living: always here, wherever, whenever so then no more explanation for what is - and what is not art if this? How many people are actually aware of each breath as art of life?

Real art would be to be able to take responsibility for each - and to ensure no heART is broken of any lacking what is just a not fair energy-power-resource-distribution. And within this perfectly flawed system art is just an other product, a catalysator what boosts the system but does it really change it?

How glorious would be to imagine that Matrix movie would push people to really waking up?

Or after watching through any Film, Movie and to say that: alright, with this impulse I am ready, able, willing, committed to work for what is best for all as it is common sense that is the best for me as well.

That simply it really could be? A feeling, a reaction not really means much - or one can be constantly stimulated to the feel of something, like religion, drugs, series - repeating the input to have certain output - turing machine stuff - the mind does it quite alright - with our acceptance, without our understanding, without seeing the manifested physical consequences - so any idea, definition infested with any expression of 'art' is just opinion, another reaction of the mind - real world awaits here.

So this whole thing started with the decomposition of why I watch films, movies - and the topic of : ART MOVIE came up.

So what is art movie? Previously there was this category, wherein the art cinema you can not get popcorn, you just watch, and artists come to watch, not just guys with baseball caps - and the movie has less effects, much-less action and possibly surrealistic dialogues and of course some really nice shots.

The original idea for film, movie was for me to learn and develop myself - when I was child - so if I watch - I change - I can actually open myself up and learn - or to know or to perceive differently - that means worked out characters, world, story, dialogues, everything is so made up for the point of the desired impacts from the creator that one can actually feel it.

Previously I was wondering about what movie, film is art and what not - first came up for me is Bunuel or Jodorowsky or Lynch or Tarkovskij or Béla Tarr. But seeing these new movies, films - there is art I see within each - how the camera shows it is already an art - how the sound sounds, the music, the composition - and then the movements within, the characters, the actors, the props.

Make it like real - so the art is to create a believable reality and if I am watching it and disregarding everything here while watching - then the art is credible, the movie, tv works.

So then my devotion with art is actually with creation, existence and to praise and totemize those who already do what I always wanted: to live, to just go out and live and let myself live - and that will mean not being sure what I do as who I do.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within watching films, movies I have been trying to learn and study things what I was not absolutely sure about such as how to live and what to do with my life and watching different life-scenarios trying to have an impression of what I want to do and who I want to be and not realizing that who I really am can not come from outside of me.

I forgive myself that I have not trusted myself to a degree that I could explore and live myself without any knowledge and information, more than I currently have and defining tv, movie as a food for thoughts, within what I can reflect back to the 'world', as how it is depicted in the movie, film.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within wanting to watch a movie, a film - I am actually wanting to be entertainment, rested, turned off, not disturbed, just be me and the film, movie and react to it and then feel somehow about it and then moving along.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define watching film and movie as relaxing, as reward, as rest, as entertainment as what I deserve for what I have done.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that entertainment, as watching TV, movies has became a habit within my life what I defined as needed, necessary, required for feeling cool overall.

I forgive myself that I have not realized what is the starting point, the feeling, the thought-pattern within myself when I come out with the idea of watching film, movie, wanting to watch, or planning to watch.

I forgive myself that I have automated myself to check out new films, movies every day and if there is something what seems interesting, to watch - then I download it and as soon it is here, there is a chance that I just watch it for instance whenever I define I need some rest, entertainment, relax, turn off, chill out so then I can watch movies what I could define cool, interesting, visually enjoyable.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within wanting to watch film, movie every day - I manifest myself as a creature of habit, who does things not because wants it in the moment, but as who and how wanted in the past and remained so.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I have been obsessed with film creation and how people make films and wanting to learn it and how to do it and how to make my film and never realized that many times I watch films, movies, just to feel that 'feeling' towards movies, films what I want to feel like I can reproduce, I can be part of it, I can be someone like filmmaker and someone who can be appreciated and then feeling like I can do that and feeling to want to do film.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel to make film and then when starting seeing how much physical involvement, work must be done then feeling like overwhelmed and then just wanting to watch a movie what is judged by myself as: cool and not focusing to the starting point of wanting to create movie by myself and then originally the whole thing has came from the point of wanting to live a life myself what is real and myself .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to learn life from movies, art, instead of LIVE life and see it for myself, enjoy and suffer the consequences of my actions directly in every moment, every breath.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become obsessed with the idea, definition of art that I have to make art to have a vaue and be value for myself instead of realizing I can be living as one as equal as all as individual expression of Life and that is who I am.

I forgive myself that I have missed ever a point of art and it's value would mean more than LIFE as the real value is always LIFE no matter what, as LIFE is the real ART what is yet to be discovered.

So it is obvious that art must be aligned with all life - otherwise it is only art of abuse.

There are real physical steps one can accumulate in order to stop (accepting) (creating) abuse.

Living Income Guaranteed: http://basicincome.me

Say No To Wars: https://www.facebook.com/dawnwarnomore

Journey to Life: https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

[JTL 111] Waking up as moment as me - Part 2

Continuing on

• [JTL 110] Waking up in the morning as moment as me

Investigating what thoughts come up and the position lying in the bed what brings up.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think when I wake up in the bed about the women who rejected me and think about women I've rejected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that I have been rejected by others and I have rejected others within not being absolutely sure as my decision and thinking about possibilities as 'what if' within hope and not realizing hope is against action, against common sense and not practical, not real and within the energy reaction towards the images towards hope I am disregarding what is here and escape who I am in and as physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think when I wake up about the job parts at my workplace I have to do, solve and in fact those are areas what I am not experienced, comfortable and judged as complication and difficult and boring and by those relationship feeling heaviness and resistance.

I forgive myself that I have not realized when I go into thinking when I wake up in my bed and speeding up within my head already, by default without being aware of my human physical body here.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I am disregarding my physical presence when I wake up in the morning and I think about things I am not absolutely sure about.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize/see/understand why exactly I allow a specific thought-pattern in the morning when I wake up and not act immediately.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define as good when I wake up in the morning and I can stay in bed and think-about, and not realizing that I am not just 'wake up and be here' but actually I am imagining, reacting to what is already gone and based on that projecting images towards my perceived future and reacting to that according to who I've defined myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that when I wake up I am not moment as me as Life but as consciousness systems programmed to be stimulated by the circumstance of I am in the bed after waking up regarding to what happened with me before.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within thinking in the bed when I wake up - I am responsible for becoming tired because tiredness is already existing within and as the mind as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not having energy to wake up in the morning if I do not participate within the thoughts of mind, the feelings of mind, the emotions of mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/define/believe that fear gives me energy to face things and overcome tiredness and dullness and using it as a motivation and not realizing that fear is of consciousness and not Life as fear, specifically fear in the bed to face something today is of and as the mind - not real, not here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use desires and positive energy reacting to the desire to use to fuel me, to energize me, to move me, to motivate me and not realizing that this energy is same as fear - that without it I can not be moved, motivated, energized, fueled within the belief of energy of mind who I've defined myself to be by the relationships between words and my reactions toward those words.

I forgive myself that I have not realized when I wake up that the reality of me is here breathing as the physical and disregarding this presence is disregarding who I really am as equal as one reflection that I do not trust myself here, I do not trust in what is here, what is here because I trust opinion, definition, relationship of mind consciousness, which is of energy.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that the only energy I require is physical energy, to sleep, to rest, to eat, to drink and any other energy is of and for feelings as the mind consciousness system which is the layer through I am separating myself from being directly here in all moments with and as all what is here equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from face the fact that without energy I am nothing, nobody and I defined myself untrustworthy without energy therefore the fear from lack of energy kicks in and moves me towards reaction within the mind to have energy and the solution is to slow down and say NO, NO, NO to each inner movement, regardless of how small that movement is - I say, do and stand as STOP and I breathe and I direct myself within disregarding the strive for energy of reaction, I stop reaction, I remain here, I breathe.

When and as I wake up in the morning - I am becoming aware of my human physical body - I am here as breath, I am here as my hands, feet, toes, my head, I am calm, relaxed, I am able to remain empty, stable without thoughts, energy.

When and as I think about something in the bed in the morning - I stop it and I remain empty - I let it go - and I am breathing and within each breath I observe, notice, direct myself to see becoming empty, feeling the body, feeling this emptiness as myself undefined.

When and as I would feel to becoming excited from the awareness of being empty naturally and deepening this presence - I remain calm, relaxed and I let go excitement, I let go any definition and need to react how much I am present, empty, clear - I am simply here within consistency.

When and as I think about something in the bed in the morning - I stop it and I remain empty - I let it go - and I am breathing and within each breath I am more and more aware of my human physical body.

When and as I have a specific reaction within my mind based on a posture within and as my human physical body - I see it, I realize the starting point, the self-dishonesty and I breathe, I let it go and within understanding I correct myself physically to not react automatically based on the physical posture - stimulation - programming - automation.

I commit myself to allow myself to remain here, calm, relaxed and empty, silent without fear, without excitement and investigate and correct each thought pattern one by one until I am here within consistency.

I commit myself to develop a constant, stable physical presence and see, realize, understand and stop each automation arising within physical participation and stopping each and deleting all parts of mind personality and allow myself to trust myself in and as the moment without trusting something what is separate from me in terms of not being aware of.

I commit myself to share my process of physical self-realization through Self-forgiveness within Self-honesty how I am practically stopping all thoughts of mind of separation with common sense.

I commit myself to return to my breath, each breath, unconditionally, constantly, consistently and not stopping correcting my physical until I am fully here as breath as Life.

Check out these awesome pages supporting Self-realization:

• http://directivedynamics.wordpress.com/
• http://warnomore.wordpress.com/
• http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com

And of course Investigate 7 years of Journey to Life and READ and JOIN the WRITING Group!