Art: beauty, deep, profound, transcendental, meaningful, moving, twisting and shivering
Why I defined to watch Movie, TV to satisfy my need for art based on the word relationships and became automatic within and as myself as the pattern of thoughts, feelings and emotions.
It is time to let go all definitions, boxes, judgments, perceptions, separations, desires fears from all angles: this time TV-Movie-Art.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define TV and Movie as art automatically and defining art as Movie and TV regardless of it's factual content.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define art as something deep, profound, deep, transcendental, moving, twisting and shivering and not realizing that within self-definition I am comparing to something and I am not experiencing it directly but in regards to the point I compare it to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to see movies as artistic perfection and wanting to see something what of each parts has been composed for the viewer and defining it as beautiful, nice, attractive, visualy compelling instead of realizing that anything value I give to it is me - so in fact becoming obsessed with art is becoming obsessed with defining, categorizing, polarizing, judging, comparing.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that every form of expression can be referred as art so the word, meaning of word of art does not mean anything except the personal value people put to it.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that the word art has became money and it is measured by how much it can cash in some forms.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the energetic experience of self-judgment projected to films and movies and defining, judging movies, TV-series based on my previously accepted self-definitions and comparing all the definitions, also checking my automatic reaction within me and if I feel that it moves me then it is value and not realizing that it is only something what stimulates my already existing, accepted value system.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that within wanting to watch nicely made images, videos, scenes and people, landscapes and all of that - means that I want to feel positive, I want my mind to generate positive energy and by that to activate something such as beauty system and praising how beautiful things can be and not realizing that it is just me how I am programmed to react to that particular imput.
I forgive myself that I have never considered that my relationship with art and with the word art and my memories towards art can influence, direct me today automatically if I let it react, move, stimulate me and I react with thoughts, feelings, emotions: that are not myself directly but the reflection of self-dishonesty of separation of judgment.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the people who made things in this world and currently being promoted as art should be something as important, relevant, extraordinary and meaningful not for themselves and some but for all.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that my strive and devotion towards art is because I've defined myself as not artist type and wanting to experience artistry and when I am not expressing myself within creative application - I define myself automatically as not being artistic therefore wanting to experience something artistic, such as visuals, audiovisuals to have the experience of art is making me react.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within stopping expressing myself I strive towards the words I define myself to be yet not living equal as one therefore a desire I form which through I am separated from the subject of my worded separation and wanting to stop the experience of separation even with the experience of reaction towards the perceived art: because within that perception and my reaction - it feels like I have direct relationship with art - not realizing that it is only perception THROUGH the mind, not direct physical experience undefined, not judged, embraced as equal as one, but separated through thought, backchat, feeling, reaction, memory which are not here physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to art influence, change me in a way I never could myself so hoping that with art I can have beat, a change what I could never step myself but with the feel, reaction to it - through the mind - feeling empowered, energetic and encouraged to change and never realizing that to change I must be here and understand fully from what I want to change and how to practically do it, not just hoping of some art will have an impact on me so strong that it will change me.
When and as I face and see, experience art - I remain here, undefined, breathing in and out naturally without a need of thinking, feeling - I directly allow myself to be just here.
I commit myself to face and stand art as undefined, no judgment, no comparison, no thought, no feeling - simply me here and the art - whatever it would be: film, painting, music, sculpture - I stand, I experience, I remain here, empty, silent, quiet while remain present, clear, calm.
When and as I deal with art - I realize who I am is my starting point, who I am within what I am doing and I realize the greatest art is to act in all moments equally to what is best for all, practically.