Still decomposing TV, Movie - related mind activities to slow down, prevent and let go completely.
(see previous posts)
Read Journey to Life Blogs daily: https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/
What is Journey to Life?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am and what I want to do from movies, TV Series and defining it as a source from who I can learn who I want to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to live life as pictured in movies, TV films, comparing to how I perceive my life with the things I see on the screen and defining that desirable.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that the TV, Movie films are idealized and completely result of imaginacion and not related how real life is.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire things to have when I was kid and did not enjoy my life, to dream about fullfilling myself with the things I've seen in movies and TV what I've defined as cool, as I need.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire after having a hydroplane and fly over the ocean between islands just because I've seen it in movies, first time in a Bud Spencer movie and wanting to have that feeling to be able to just fly around among tropical islands.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being able to fly around tropical islands with a hydroplane as power, as richness, as fullfillment, as interesting and always dreaming about it and in fact never doing anything to manifest so it is purely an imagination to escape from what is here when compared to what I experience currently versus what I want to experience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the temptation of the mind to feel, energize, think, visualize, imagine about things, points, events, objects, women what I've seen in movies, TV films and thinking about these as possible, preferable things to do if I would have the opportunity and never realizing that it is not who I really am but who I allowed myself to be programmed.
I forgive myself that I have never considered that to see something in a film, movie is alright but to be obsessed with what I see and think abouot it all the time is self-dishonesty as meanwhile more and more disregarding what I am currently within.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, define that it is alright to allow such childhood desires and imagination within myself believing that it is part of myself and never considering the possibility that it was of fear, it was of separation when I allowed it to possess me, a feeling, an energetic experience what I have became addicted to re-and re-experience when things are tough where and as I live physically to have an experience of 'feeling good' to balance out the actually self-induced, manifested experience of 'feeling bad'.
I forgive myself that I have never ever considered to see/uderstand/realize that when I have an experience of 'feeling bad' - that it is not about how to balance out, to occupy myself with 'feeling good' as an automatic response but to see within, investigate, question myself that what is the reason that I have concluded to the point of 'feeling bad' and to PREVENT it is the solution without any inner reaction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire lot of things what I've seen from movies and wanting to, desiring to experience, just once in a lifetime at least to have a feeling that 'I am living' and not realizing, actually never understanding that 'really living' is not related to copy and experience things what I've seen in TV, Movies and defined as 'that is life' while comparing to what I 'live' as not really life and having the polarity and wanting to change the energetic charge, the feel of this self-judgment of 'how is my life'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memories with feelings associated to automatically come up within me without questioning and define and experience as who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about memories, desires, what I've formed from movies, films and defining that as myself directly and not slowing down to a degree to be here and see that when I use that feeling and memory - I am not aware what is here, what is in and as my human physical body so it is a form of disregard what I define as who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and become anxious when feeling like I have to give up all desires what I've formed since my childhood based on TV, Movies and not realizing that these are patterns what I've held onto to have an experience of feeling positive when I had the negative experience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the existence 'system' works like I have to let go the 'subject' of my desire and for that I will get it anyway - and not realizing that I am trying to manipulate my feelings of what I want and hope that I get it some way I am not directing and never realizing that it is a feeling of hope what is energetically stimulating me to not act immediately, but wait, be positive.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that what I really want I have to do it myself directly, without hesitation, judgment and fear.
I forgive myself that I have never seen/realized/understood the common sense to stop the feelings towards what I want to experience in this life and actually let everything go and remain here as the 'I' simply being here without any knowledge, information, memory to define who I am.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that to get free of everything I experience as my limitation is simply let go everything I've defined and react automatically to.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that within fear from not being able to fullfill, live and experience my life as who I've defined myself to want to live - I actually block myself into not act but feel in the mind with thoughts, energies and while being occupied like that - I am actually manifesting the pattern of not manifesting what I fear from not manifesting.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that my personality has formed based on desires from my early age and because I am not fully aware of all the desires, worries, fears - it is still of and as me as suppressed and stored in and as the mind what automatically uses it to reflect back equal as one my starting point as who I manifested myself to be until becoming aware of the pattern, understanding the conditions and be able to let it go, not react, forgive, stop, delete and remove from my beingness and remain here, undefined, physical directly.
When and as I experience a dream, desire to come up, or remembering a wish from childhood - I stop and I stop it and I see where it comes from and is it of movies, films I've seen and formed a reaction of I need that? And I let it go and I remain here - I realize the pattern and I prevent next time to come up by not reacting to it this time.
When and as I experience desire as separation but devotion to experience it - I realize I have allowed myself to define myself based on feelings, thoughts so I stop and re-align myself with being here, physical, direct, disregarding thoughts, feelings, emotions and I breathe - slowly but surely and I bring myself fully here by realizing that desire is of fear from past and I am here.
When and as I desire things what I have defined as I need to live, have, fullfill when I was child or younger - I realize in that particular time I have experienced the mind as my starting point and within that the separation, the polarity and the positive and negative was not real, but of judgments, comparison and fear so I stand here and I let it go and I focus to what is here.
I commit myself to stop defining, desiring myself based on, according to movies, tv films and all what I've seen as cool, preferable, I need that, this is who I am judgments coming up - I stop and I let it go and I remain undefined.
I commit myself to investigate all desires, fears, reactions within what I am unable to immediately directly understand, stop: to see how I have manifested such self-definition what comes up automatically and I use the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-correction to stop it as stopping myself to go 'in there' as feeling, thought and I stand here within breathing.
I commit myself to prevent myself to have desires and judgments, reactions, hopes when seeing movie tv from now on and whenever I feel like 'that's cool, I want that' - I realize it is automatic and I slow down and I use common sense - is it really practical and I want to be?
I commit myself to stop experiences to define who I am and forget myself and presence in and as experience - I breathe and I slow down within and I participate within experience, I am experience but I am not of experience - I am presence, here, breathing and experiences will come and go and I remain consistent.