I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I felt left out when people were talking about a film I did not see and feeling I do not have context to go into the commnication and then feeling separated.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to persuade people to watch what I have watched and suggest them to watch, just because I think it is good and it is my point of view and then later after they're watched it they might agree with me on it's 'goodness' and feeling cool together.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a feeling of good whel talking with people about a movie what we watched and then remembering scenes and re-sounding it feels like cool and then we are occupied with it without being aware what we are doing as skipping reality and stimulate each other into a feeling of energy.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that all schemas, types, states of mind and feelings are inner separation systems to block direct reality from oneself to experience within the fear of needing thoughts, feelings, emotions to tell me who we feel how we feel.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form desire to watch specific movies just because by the review/trailer/other's talk it is the kind of movie I could enjoy and then thinking about it and be obsessed about it to just watch it meanwhile disregarding everything else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to praise somebody who has been acted in a movie and seeing her/him publically feeling great about seeing and thinking and reacting about the movie, and the person's role and how I enjoyed the movie and when I did enjoy it, feeling positive about meeting it's actor and the whole thing is just inflated feeling over my definition of value.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that people who work in film industry are the kings and not realizing that it is just work they do and all day they push and it is not pleasant and thinking that they are special and unique just because the value I've put into the movie itself as makes me feel cool.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that within thinking about a movie's aggressive part I am accepting aggression and I am thinking it is alright to watch it because looks and feels cool how it is showed meanwhile not realizing that it is programming fear to the watchers whether they realize it or not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy talk about the funny moments of films together and feeling great about the humor just repeating it and then feeling this energetic connection with the others who also feel good about it.
When and as I se someone from a film crew, a film actor, I remain here, directive, use common sense - and if I want to do something with the person, I approach directly but still I remain silent, present.
When and as I am in an conversation about a film how specific scenes are cool feeling to talk about - I remain here and I see when is my reaction coming up and I let it go - I change myself and stop my automatic associations - I direct here the memory I am present, I am breathing.
When and as I worry I did not yet see a specific movie - I realize I can let go the reaction, the devotion for feeling and remain silent, directive - whether I watch it or not - it is just a film, movie I realize and I do not go into feeling neither positive or negative - I am breathing, I am here.
I commit myself to stop the feelings, thoughts coming up automatically regarding to films, movies when talking about it with somebody - I remain here, directive, I do not go into the experience that much that losing presence, breathing - I stop the reaction yet I am responsive, I am immediate, direct.
I commit myself to stop reacting to films, movies with thoughts, feelings and see them what they exactly are without opinion.
I commit myself to stop gossiping about movies films and have the feeling and the reaction towards it as positive as how cool it is and how cool to speak about people to have this feeling together while not realizing that I am timelooping within self-judgments instead of directly communicating about the movie without the energy of positive and negative.
I commit myself to enjoy directly movies or not enjoy them without judgment, without thoughts, feelings, emotions but directly, immediately undefined, within presence.
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