This way I have the first layer in physical - as the writing - typing - about how and why and what I want to change - not 'just' change 'randomly' or 'feeling fed up and want to change but not entirelly sure what and how' - everything is here - in front of myself as the words - and then I live these words and then the written, spoken and the acting becomes one and equal.
So I had this experience of conflict within me in regards to movies, films, so I walk through it with these tools, what I have learned, still learning to live from Desteni I Process - and that assists and if one uses it within self-honesty: can overcome to most of the issues humans face in these days: doubt, desire, addiction, uncertainty, overwhelming thoughts, lack of self-confidence, fear, paranoia, mania - just write down each details within absolute self-honesty and apply self-forgiveness.
And within Self-forgiveness: I decide to change, I give a new chance to myself and writing it is already ACTION - which accumulates - and accumulating action leads to consequence: same way with deprogramming patterns of not efficient/self-interest and the same with re-programming self with efficiency/life-interest from the simplest tasks/details towards the most profound way of living simply using the words and stopping the reactions within but living them directly as self.
This way it is the most direct tool to understand our already manifested creation and stand up to it and become equal as one and realize facts and the starting point and see where the fear/worry/doubt/thinking comes up and realize how it is self-dishonesty - and then the commitment to stop it - and by stopping: One already starts explore what it means to live, slowly but surely.
So here I stop my automatic reactions and behavior towards movies, tv series and align myself with the direction I want to go. It seems superficial but there are some aspects of myself what are in fact already superficial but most of the people do not even realize it, not 'working' on/ 'taking the time' to investigate how one is already manifested behaving - and doing so - can realize the starting point is tainted with fear, worry, doubt, which is absolutely not human nature, not who we are and with these simple tools using consistently - we can in fact change ourselves and become unwavering, direct, self-expression without accepting any fear, excuse and justification.
This has not been made by parents, education, corporations - what can not be blamed as we individually can in fact understand our already manifested creation and change it, first by stopping. Stopping each pattern what we realize it is not supporting ourselves, others.
So stopping becomes natural and the more we stop the automatic patterns, the more we can see what is really going on and can take action what matters, what has impact and relevant not only for our lives but for all.
Continuing with Self-correction about the point of prioritizing TV/Movie "entertainment" versus commitments.
When and as I have some time I consider what is the most important thing to do using common sense - simply bringing up all here and see which I should do while realizing it is not compromise but a decision to do what is most important to me.
When and as I go into the conflict within about shall I do my priorities or do other things what are mostly involving not my active movement but passive reactions such as watching TV Series, Movies - I realize - my priorities are more important than to becoming passive.
When and as I realize I have conflict within me about shall I just chill out and watch a movie or film - I realize that my priorities are also me - so if I have problem with what I decided to do - then I reconsider and I change my priorities and see how that fits and I stop, I let the conflict go and decide and act here without any reaction, thought, feeling, connotation.
When and as I worry that I work too much, too hard, and I should need and require some entertainment, fun, chill out, relax such as watching movie, film - I see within that this experience of 'I work too much' is real or I just use it as an excuse to not do what I should - and according to that - I let go the desire to work and I see what is the reason I do not want to do what I should.
When and as I see that I do not want to do my priorities in and as the moment and comes up the feeling, thought, movement that I should do watch movie, film - I realize that there is a resistance for doing what I decided, I should, and I must do - and accepting that resistance I prepare myself to accept it the next time as well, so I stop the resistance and see what is the reason for coming up and apply Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness to realize and change my fear specifically about the point.
When and as I worry that I do not have time to keep up and watch all the films, movies I've desired for, decided to, thought about, I realize that the films, movies will wait for me and my priorities will not wait - that's why in the moment are priorities.
When and as I realize I procrastinate my process-related commitments, priorities - I stop and I let everything go and I direct myself to be aware that my process is who I really am in terms of Self-realization - so to prolong that, I prolong myself what with I will accumulate frustration what with I will fed up and realize that I must do my priorities anyway.
When and as I worry that I do not have time for all my priorities and still be relaxed, calm and yet effective but exhausted, tired, weaken - I realize I've put too much on my shoulder and for that there is nothing to judge - I am in the process of finetuning myself as trusting myself in and as the moment without judgment, reaction cycles to stimulate, move me, but I direct myself, I change myself, I move myself and I simply re-arrange my priorities and I act without any reaction, judgment, worry, feeling, though, simply breathing as the next moment and move along and embrace the next moment.
When and as I feel like I want to watch series what is so interesting that I'd like to discard my priorities, commitments - I realize that the series gives an experience of excitement, curiosity and stimulates me to watch it meanwhile in fact I allow the tendency to be tempted to stimulate myself more and more with a point - here such as Series meanwhile the things in and as reality will pile up and compound what should and must be done such as my Journey to Life blogging, The DIP course, the group participation, the other process-related sharings what I committed to do, walk, share as I have realized and still be aware that it is the most practical way to sort out my delusions and apply what is best for all and support others as myself as well so to procrastinate that towards being sucked into tv series is simply self-dishonesty, self-interest.
When and as I worry I do not allow myself to watch series, movies - I realize I can give to myself time to watch but to having watching more than 1-2 movies a day or watching series episodes more than 2-3 hours a day indicates that I have an issue what I divert from or I am being tempted to my energetic addiction to feel, think, be emotional instead of be directive principle here.
When and as I have not yet written my JTL blog writing and my Agreement course assignment is in late - I postpone watching movies, series - and I do the blogging, I write the assignment - or parts of it and AFTER that I can allow myself to watch movies, series.
When and as I procrastinate my JTL writing and DIP course assignment or other commitments, such as doing some music work or video work for myself or others - I realize - with postponing these I will only manifest worry, frustration, self-judgment, thinking, conflict, fear instead of giving myself the gift of simply doing these first in a practical way and then after realizing that I still can have time for other things what are less priority such as tv, movie, gaming, meeting others, walkabout etc.
When and as I feel tired and exhausted while doing my priorities - I check is it physical tiredness or lack of energy and temptation to energize myself with excitement such as tv film, movie and then watching it and after it becoming more tired and then my priorities have not yet been made: I realize this pattern and I'd rather take a rest, nap for 10-30 minutes and after that doing what I decided to do with empty mind, self-direction, no energy.
When and as I feel a particular way towards what I want to see, enjoy in tv, movie such as topics, styles, kind of movies such as action, sci-fi, fantasy, humour, art - I realize I have the self-definition that I need that, I lack of that what I can experience from and by that self-definition of separation, I strive for the experience to have it and not realizing that within experiencing it I only judge and define doing it and then only being equal and one with what I need through and as the mind - so then the solution is to stop and stop the definition, the lack, the feeling, the thought and embrace what is here.
When and as I want to watch a specific movie - I stop thinking, reacting - I simply decide when I can do it and by scheduling it I can consider other things such as priorities, commitments so then I do not need to have conflict within by watching it for disregarding what is more important.
When and as I have the experience of wanting to experience something I realize it is because I allow the mind move, the definition to drive me, the lack to pull me, the fear of not being fulfilled to control me - and the solution is to let go everything and be here and breathe, use common sense and decide and act - without the thinking, feeling.
When and as I worry that it is too much to write blog and assignment and other commitments every day - I realize that in fact any day I do not progress within stopping the mind - it is a progress within moving and being as the mind, the direct opposite what I have committed to do as process of becoming equal and one as the mind and be the directive principle as life-interest which is what is best for all.
When and as I have the temptation to do something all day, night and wanting to feel like it is great - I realize if I do have commitments not yet done for the day - then I should do it first and then do what I want.
When and as I am with others all the time on the day and I see that I have priority, commitment to do such as writing or video or music work - I do not allow conflict within - I simply direct myself and communicate - I do require that amount of time until I finish my to-do and that's it - and I do not go to worry that the other person will not understand or will leave or judge me or disregard me. If the person does such thing then I let it go - and I communicate next time more clearly that it must be done and that's it.
When and as I do not want to do something because of my worry of not having enough time for my commitments, assignments, priorities - I realize it is not cool because I use the worry-reaction first to generate energy to stop doing something and then when I will not have worry - I will not have energy to stop myself doing other things than my priorities, so I realize to do what I decided does not require energy, reason, justification - that is self-decision, self-will, self-direction.
To be continued with Self-commitments