Sunday, June 1, 2008

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to forget my past.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to forget how I fast I was.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not bear myself and try to forget myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to trying to not being here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wanting to escape from here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear death - as fear to be here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use my phisical body to store my dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear being always here as breath as moment here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to being embarrased for that specific guy from the elementary school who was sitting next to me Sipos Tibi, because he was always more faster than me. The only one. And all others were more slow in running.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to compare me torwalds him.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think that once I was more faster than him. I even do not remember, but I catched this thought about once I was faster than him.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to use an excuse this mind consciousness system, about what I once experienced, reached, I definied me as it, and I lied to myself that I am done, I reached that, now it is here - instead of realising that was only one moment, what I reached only, just because of equalizing the other moments, just because of being stable in and as an excuse that I do not have to stand up, because I remember, once I did. But in truth while it is conditional, while there is separation in the manifested existence, until it is not done.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use my phisical body to separate me from myself - to try to separate me as dishonesty from myself in and as this human phisical body - with and as manifested systems.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself that I accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to take shit, just because of self-judgement, about what they should react - this is unacceptable. I am me as me as oneness and equality. People are conditional. People are systems. Oneness and equality as self-honesty as moment as HERE. This is only what is realy who I am. The expression of oneness and equality is who I am as life, in and as this human phisical body.

I forgive myself that I accepted and ALLOWed myself to experience this trepidity in my right calf extensively, almost like preparing to explode.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to face with what I accepted and allowed to manifest. I STAND I am breah I am oneness and equality as life as all here, no matther what.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to shut down. To not wanting to hear. Unacceptable.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to not trust me as moment as breath as expression as life.
I forgive myself that I never considered me.
I forgivve myself that I accepted and allowed to fear from pain.
I forgive myself that I acccepted and allowed this anti-silence within me. Unacceptable.
I am the silence, until I am not stabily silence - I am not located me as moment.
No one will do it for me. I have to silence my mind. I have to stand up as all as life.
Common sense. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to masturbate, even considering about masturbation.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to even to think about masturbate.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not being aware on some thoughts about sexual desires what I am already knowing will manifest inevitabely to face if I do not apply self-forgiveness, self-corrective application.
I am self-corrective application. I am self- movement. I am self-intimacy. I see that I am not desire. I accepted and allowed myself to become this system what is driven by desire - but in truth, who I really am infinitely - is life as moment as HERE as all as one as equal.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to scratch my head - indicating that I scretch my mind to operate, to precisely tune it to equate it due to the situation of 'my' actual now in consciousness.
I am not consciousness. I am not of consciousness. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to being influenced by consciousness - to became consciousness by letting myself to control within consciousness as consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself that I am consciousness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself that to be in consciousness is allright. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from myself.
I forgive myself from fear from facing with my sexual desire.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realise that by supressing I am manifesting, and I lied to myself that I am not aware of it - but in truth I already know myself, I experienced myself as driven by desire, so if I go back, that means timeloop is necessary - that would mean that I am stupid - that would mean I am still of consciousness what will inevitabely swirl down, what inevitabely mean pain what is not necessary.
I am me as life as oneness and equality.
I am greatful that I am existence, I correct me as expression, because it is the responsibility. That's why I am here, to express myself as who I really am. I was always waiting for this, and I was waited for the way, I was waited for the people, and now all is here. Time to move. I am move. It is here, it is done.

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