Friday, October 24, 2008

Self forgiveness here

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to hear my body here.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to hear my breath here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to define the pulse of my heartbeat as too much.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to transform my expression onto thoughts to try to escape from my body.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not aware of my own human phisical body.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to live.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear to live.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not realise that I can be aware of every moment of every breath.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use my habits and interests as a program to escape from my breath as awareness here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define unawareness as entertainment, as rest.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, understand, live that if I am not aware of my body - I am not here, I am not even real from the perspective of the ideas what I participate within my head are fearbased, preprogrammed ideas.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not move me as self as life as I am capable of.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not applying myself as much as I can.
I forgive myself that I let myself to swallow for a moment about I have bloody mugs in my mouth every morning so it means I am not applying myself as much as I can.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to get positive responses from others instead of trusting me here unconditionally.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to being able to manipulated with money.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think that E does not want to see me just because she did put down the phone when I called her - instead of just let this event go.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise this only happens when she is not in the country.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to stuck in an event - not realising that is of dishonesty and fear and applying self-forgiveness immediately and breath here and express myself as moment - unconditonally.
I forgive myself that I formed a personality design about being famous and being hidden - as the desire for famousness can indicate that my ego wants to be on stage and getting appretiated but on other side of the polarity wants to be hidden because of responsibility - because wants to be 'free' - as I defined the lack of responsibility as freedom.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define the lack of responsibility as freedom.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to conform.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that I do not need to follow programs - as I am here as life in all moments.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define war as entertainment.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define war as adventure.
I forigve myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to be in war.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from being in war.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire for kill.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire for kontrol.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from consciousness as projection, not realising that is within me as what I become until I stop as one as equal practically unconditionally in all ways.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to supress myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to supress self-forgiveness and then just flowing and building a dam and then explodes - no need polarity, no need cycles. I am always here.

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