Thursday, October 23, 2008

Self forgiveness - let me LIVE

I forgive myself that I allowed and accepted to develop such an ability to be able to dream while 'awakened'.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that this dreaming is coming trough unmanifested supressed desires.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that this is a form of escape from what is here - a manifested behavioural strategy to not take self-responsibility for me as all as one as equal in every single moment.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself that I decided to not want to be here because then I would face with the consequencies what are already manifested.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame the escapists instead of reailizing that I blame me - the very act of blaming is the separation me from myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to have power to be able to rule the whole world according to what I programmed to perceive as 'would be a solution'.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to chase goals what I do not want to reach but I definet it as would be good to just experience - not realising this is a supressed and coded form of desire - because I hesitate and procastinate - instead of act and do whatever I direct myself here to do.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from making mistakes - instead of realising that the mistake is judgement - memory and fearbased. So as fear is memory. So All is fear, so I became a manifested fear. So let stop this manifestation of fear.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to supress myself because I feared to face with myself who I really became.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become evil.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as evil because I want and desire - instead of just stop want and stop desire and stop define myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to make a good movie instead of just do a movie whatever it would be as trusting me here.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to dream about having sex with two exgirlfriends at the same time.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to let myself to desire instead of realise and correct me within the moment as self-forgiveness and not participating within and as thoughts.
I forgive myself that I accepeted and allowed myself to define my stability according to the moonphases - this is an excuse to be able to let me swallow into my past and act as before.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to pain.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from pain - from the word: pain.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from pain.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to enjoy pain.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define pain as energy.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame the guy because he did not pay - instead of realising that I want to give back money to others - let me stop all this and embrace myself as self-directiveness and sorting out this mess.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define my manifestation as mess.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be proud of myself, because on many ways I do not concern about things, such as sleeping on the ground or eating simply foods - not realising that is a part of a polarity as being very specific of the technical instruments's quality what I posess or want.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my computer.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my electronic instruments.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to buy expensive technical instruments instead of sorting out my lends immediately.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from not having enough money.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge my own bellygas.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become a judgement machine what builds up energy and when is too much just stops itself for moment to release and then build it again - and defining myself as this releasing.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to be free.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as free.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to have an agreement with my exgirlfriend and not having at the same time. Embrace here and STOP define and just act as self-trust immediately.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because I play computergames instead of something worthy.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from being not worthy.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wanting to save the world.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to be part of something global, instead of realise that I am all as one as equal here just need to realise and LIVE.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed war within me and within the world.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to be hero.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to be director.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the LCD.
I forgiev myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not trust me as moment and that's why using memory - and not realising that means not changing and going in circles. STOP.

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