Monday, May 31, 2010

Here Sound


I started to hear human's sound different

This awareness thingy is a really funny one
it is like as I lolling by writing as like a liquid
first one drip and then one other - each are one moment but I have no ability to experience - more likely there are like reflections - like glimpses or tiny soundspikes - or the smell what I experience for a moment but very slight - and then no more - it's gone

and then the next time it happens again - almost like at the first time - no rememberence, no memory, no awareness

and then as the drips continue it slowly but surely start to flow in a hairthin thread - and I am becoming aware of simply within a moment that I am experiencing something absolutely new, a total genuine world I am aware of
and then if I start to define it - it is not working - I can not grab it with mind -there is no definition - associations no existing about this awareness

but I can start to explore about how to put into words - and as it is stable - I can reflect myself back that with I want to describe or word it - it is not 'pure enough' so to speak as I am still too contaminated with the delusions within my head
so I must continue purify myself inside and express outside one and equal

until I can embrace myself as presence and my expression will come to be the words as myself as one as equal

so this what I hear within human's words

I have the sense that somehow I can hear the beings - and I have to admit that this is a great assistance to be able to assess my self honesty as I start to experience many things within one word of the being - more likely through speakings
and then I can see - the things I experience within the words - are of my 'issues' of self dishonesty - or I am 'clear of it' so to speak - that I am able to experience the being as it is without my 'shit of mind' -

I am entirelly not aware of this thingy but somehow here are moments when I am absolutely sure what I am writing about

this is power
power of presence - but I must stop all occupations

not even of about what I do at the moment - I express and 'detach' myself from the mind participation and embrace all of myself here as mind as stopping it as myself one and equal as the symbiotic physical manifestation of myself within and as the mind consciousness system

will write more about this - at the moment I do my job - but this is fascinating
I forgive myself that Ihave accepted and allowed myself to hold my breath when I experience something new - instead of realizing that this can be referred as programmed fear - so I let go - I breathe and I am here as the physical

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