Thursday, March 6, 2014

[JTL 153] Why fear and desire are self-compromise?

Continuing on the previous post where I stated that fear and desire are both limitation and in fact of the mind as self-dishonesty.

So to clarify that, I start with fear - it should obvious as most people do not want to live in fear. Within self-infusion of the mind-obsession of energetic systems people though can be seriously dependent on fear and even becoming conscious about it and believing the thoughts what say that fear is good, necessary or even worthy.

noun: fear
    an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
    "I cowered in fear as bullets whizzed past"
    synonyms:    terror, fright, fearfulness, horror, alarm, panic, agitation, trepidation, dread, consternation, dismay, distress, anxiety, worry, angst, unease,
 verb: fear;
    be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or harmful.
    "I hated him but didn't fear him any more"
    synonyms:    be afraid of, be fearful of, be scared of, be apprehensive of, dread, live in fear of, go in terror of, be terrified of, be terrified by, cower before, tremble before, cringe from, shrink from, flinch from;

People do not realize the consequence of the fear experience to the human physical body as it is in fact harming it, making it off-balance, disregarding it's equilibrium in the interest of the mind-consciousness only and creating all kinds of sicknesses and harms to the body.

An other typical scenario when parents consciously implant the fear to the child's mind in order to avoid the child being injured or killed for instance by always telling the kid "a car will hit you and you will die if you do not look around" with scary voice and it is not a game, indeed children can die and this can bring up serious questions about the living environment where we 'raise' our children as is it really supporting them as expression of LIFE or just replicating consciousness programming to our biological clones combining with some previously accumulated consequences to a being but this day I let this open with only referring to the point that Equal Life Foundation is specifically aiming this situation as well for researching and suggesting possible future scenarios wherein no one needs to fear from killed and we all should acknowledge the innocent pure life expression as what system we maintain for our kids and not making compromises like 'this city is horrible for kids, but what to do I love them, I have grown up myself as well and I did not end up that bad as well, and the kid will be better than me' - which is only 'thin-king' what seems to be just an excuse. But anyway. Fear is not cool.

Having fear as motivation for successful living we might ask the people in Yemen or Pakistan where they each day hear the bombing drones circling around upon them and these machines could be silent but the so fucking smart military engineers have successfully designed these to make specific sounds what - when people - KIDS - hear they should frighten their ass off just of orientation about what is this world about: fear.

It is extreme but until such atrocities are allowed within human 'civilization' - it is obvious what is the main character of the human species - domination and fear.

There is no excuse for this harm to life to accept in any reality - only for those who are already under the spell of fear or totally mesmerized by their own self-interest/ignorance.

Also fear of falling in exam - blocks creativity, the ability to recall memories of the subject properly.

Fear from my partner would cheat me - it is seriously self-compromise why I do not trust in my partner? Or If I can not trust in her/him - why I am with her? - is it really love or just a nicely mind-painted fuckup I represent? This indeed can result in paranoia, killing etc. - not cool.

Fear from the plane would crash - it is also not really helping - and again: the body is in the state of shock, one is not really able to see what is happening here - only the energetic state of fear tunes, triggers, shifts personality - and organs suffer, heart suffer, not cool again.

And also when we fear - we are resonating this and children around us physically can feel it - and they sponge it in and learn it and copy and they will be living also in fear even without realizing what is inherently they are accepting.

Even when we do worry or being anxious - it is fear - being angry, being aggressive - same: fear - fear of loss, fear of fear - coming from thoughts, memory, comparison, separation, not real.

So That is about fear - so to stand up to fear is common sense - I had so much fear in my life and unconsciously still I have to face some - which for writing within 'ranting and raving' - creative 'visualization' within self-honesty and unconditional Self-forgiveness, Self-correction, Self-commitment to let go is really assisting.

One day even science will prove that but until that we can only turn to our 'own' (or not 'owned') Self-honesty to realize.

When one can not use the mind, the definitions, the energies, the constant judgements, comparison, thinking - that also can be experienced as a freaking fearful state of beingness - just look at those people who are on high dose of acid or mushroom and they mind is glowing - some are not able to handle this - and they freak out - because they can not use the energetic mind to constantly juggle out the ORIGINAL fear within with positive and negative thoughts so then they face this fear, which is also in and as the physical body - that should be faced and investigated, understood and slowly but surely - breath by breath TRANSCEND.

Investigate what is Desteni is sharing about fear - very practical stuff, not like meditating on chakra energies to warm up the feelings in the mind - but really face everything we consist of - if you want to stop existing within fear.

Another 'thing' iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis: desire - the sire which to all sacrifice...
noun: desire
    a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.
    "he resisted public desires for choice in education"
    synonyms:    wish, want;
verb: desire
    strongly wish for or want (something).
    "he never achieved the status he so desired"
    synonyms:    wish for, want, long for, yearn for, crave, set one's heart on, hanker after/for, pine for/after, thirst for, itch for, be desperate for, be bent on, have a need for, covet, aspire to;

If I look at what desire is - it is like a hunger, a strive, a hollowness, it is also of fear - not trusting myself that I can 'get' what I want - so I go virtual(energetic mind: thoughts, feelings) - instead of directly acting in the moment, no inner reaction at all.

I do not experience what I defined myself as 'needed' - therefore I define it as 'I want it, I miss it', I define myself as 'needy' - and participating within that inner reaction in each occasion - it accumulates - and within the tendency of accepting thoughts, feelings automatically - it generates energy, friction - and I am in the 'need' more and more and to the degree that I disregard other - relevant - things as well as I become obsessed about it - 'it is what I really need' - and possessed with my own self-definition of 'I need this, I do not have it, I want, I want, I want it now'.

It is really like a computer state-machine -
  • I define what I need,
  • I see myself, I define myself not having,
  • I experience myself not having in reality while experiencing in my mind needing and it is friction, energy which accumulates.
  • And within defining who I am according to experiences - I define myself as 'having a desire'.
  • I fear from being what I define as who I am according to this automatic judgement of this 'lack' experience,
  • I fear from remaining within this self-defined experience of 'lacking', as this is what I defined I need but instead of directly and immediately go for it or let it go (or postpone it without reaction)
  • I compare within polarity of mind and experience friction of positive and negative - what I experience as negative as lacking what I desire for - and the positive of how I would feel if I would fulfil this desire
  • I define myself as 'positive', 'tending towards positive' so I choose to act according to this energetic desire experience to balance out the negative with the positive - what with I manifest friction within to experience
  • I avoid to feel as negative, I want the positive what I do not experience, so I imagine, I define and I desire and by that I feel positive - so I want to manifest this feel of positive
I become possessed with wanting to get what I want without consideration of all facts here because I accumulate this energetic play out within my mind, my body, which overwhelms me, feels like I have to get into, I have to get what is the subject of my desire to stop the need, to have the experience of having, to balance out the lack what I had initially - without even questioning why I need that - do I really need that? What would be the consequence of going after that - not only for myself, but for others as well - is it really supporting SELF?

Instead of directly see what I need, what I want to explore and while considering consequences without thinking, without fear - deciding and acting immediately or not act simply - and by that it is direct, not interpreted, virtualized but remaining here all the time in reality. I do not say it is obviously easy - but that would be really living here in each moment.

That 'ability' we labelled as 'zen mastership', 'enlightenment', 'being one with god', 'shaman state', 'trance' etc - but it would be simply LIVING HERE IN ALL MOMENTS EQUALLY AS SELF.

That can be learned, specifically: what blocks this to unlearn, for give ourselves for not living like this unconditionally.

For a moment let us look it as a skill - however just to make things clear again: this should be the 'natural expression' of ourselves regardless to the fact that humans feel more powerful while thinking and not realizing that it is the false prophet within each of us.

Just to mention two typical desires: love and sex.
  • Desire for love, the one who I love I desire after - because I do not experience her/him?
  • Desire for someone who do not want to be with me or can not be with me?
  • Desire for someone else's partner?
  • Desire for an imaginary partner with properties I defined myself desiring after?
  • Desire for somebody I've seen on an image/in a movie?
For me - desire was mostly because I felt myself powerless to directly get what I want - or even go 'out' from my mind and explore and find out what is good for me by trying out things/experiences/expressions - I had this fear to hold myself back to not live - while my starting point was wanting to live - so I suppressed myself, I used my mind to try to 'live inside by thoughts, feelings, emotions' and with that I accumulated energy and with that energy I indirectly fuelled myself to move towards the subject of my desires - I did not trust within myself unconditionally.

And that is escalating quickly - If I do not trust myself - I do not trust even what I perceive, define, react, my abilities, my senses, my expression, I am not real in terms of everything I participate from specific angles are questionable - so I rather not question or I justify and bind myself to conditions - and then I trust in my desire? Sounds crazy.

Also about sexual desire - what I could not live with my partner out - what I implanted into my mind through books, movies, porn - so then I need to try these out, I need to experience and without that I did not live out what I wanted so I fear from the future projection of myself wherein I did not fulfilled these desires and I would regret it - all in my head - not stopping thinking, not correcting myself, not even realizing that it is not me, myself directly who thinks, only being subjected to this programmatic inner reflection mechanism of the mind as thoughts....

So this energetic overwhelming experience what is referred as desire - is not really supporting living - only complicating things...

So how to deal with desire? Is it not obvious that desire is of fear/separation/limitation/doubt?

Write about it - try it out.

If the desire has consequence not harming others/environment(who knows, especially within a vampiristic capitalistic monetary system what we just see as 'a product' what was the real cost for that to be there)- just get it and live it out while realize that it is not about the subject of desire but maybe how you have allowed to compromise your starting point within the mind consciousness - always needing, always depending, always projecting, always imagining, feeling, desiring to disregard what is here - within experience and then self-definition and eventually within and as physical acting out.

So then when it is exposed - realize - forgive and re-align yourself and walk the next moment.

If desire is obviously not supporting or harming - then investigate, forgive, correct and commit self to stop, to re-align, to let go, to breathe, remain here without influences...

And it is not about 'saying no' and suppressing the desire, putting things under the carpet and not changing at all - as it accumulates and energy possessions will occur when the mind personality takes over and one is not the directive principle, and until energy does not steams off - one is acting according to the desire - and again: lot's of energy in the mind is always boosting separation from what is here, our bodies, others.

It is always the question of Self-honesty and considering physical consequences - which are always irreversible - what happened, happened, there is no turning back, no load from last checkpoint.

When the desire is for experiences - one should realize that it is for the mind - and sometimes it can be okay but even the 'giving into the desire' personality can accumulate.

It is not about being a monk - as they do live these things out mostly - just in another dimensions, not the things what people usually desire for - as sexual partner, power, sex, party, fame - but the same separation they participate within - through and as the mind - so it is not an easy task to face and embrace desire - but it is always a reflection of oneself - can not be fought through - but rather we slow down within and we can catch and understand ourselves with each tiny inner movement, reaction to thoughts, images we accumulate personalities which then we give permission to direct us as reality always works with the simple math of 1+1=2.

So that is about fear and desire for today. First consider consequences, others and yourself in reality - and secondly investigate the origin, the starting point of the specific desire - is it really myself? Is it just an influence, a pattern I've picked up since childhood?

For instance within my desire for a dark, curly haired exotic beautiful woman with great temperament - when I 'had' this experience what I desired after - I realized that even while I saw her as very beautiful - the temperament within my mind was craziness, unpredictability and instability - just as I was and the two accumulated into madness, not caring and sharing so it did not last.

Also I have experienced the utmost extreme polarities of the mind for so many times - so the norm was always enormous intensity for me - and when I was not in these insanely extreme energetic experiences in and as my mind - I was after enhancing, boosting - with thoughts, comparison, friction - and it is quite dangerous to live like this as when one is not fully aware of how these things accumulate - accidents, harmful experiences can manifest.

And within long years always flying high - I've became the very manifestation of these extreme energetic experiences - and it is quite shocking when one sees/realizes/understands that who we really are as life is nothing of these - so all I was living, accumulating was in fact not really myself - so then I had to start let go each energetic experiences to be defined by and moved as my mind and it is still the process I walk(and many within the Journey to Life movement).

There are also some 'spiritual' schools what are operating with desires - to live desires, to let go desires - or wish for desires specifically to avoid unforeseen consequences - I do say that rather not desire but trust Self and be practical and give Self what is required for Self-growth, Self-expansion, Self-realization within Self-honesty while considering Self and all others who are involved: Equally!

Thanks, enjoy, breathe!

Self-support from the awesome EQAFE in relation to desire:

So that is about fear and desire for today. If one does not agree - should apply self-honesty and speak up!
Thanks, enjoy, breathe!

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