[JTL 177] Validation: priority vs entertainment

This can come up at weekends when I have two days for doing things I want and there are so many things I could do and in fact I want to do a lot and this overwhelming experience can take the edge of my clinical decision making of what is really priority and should do with the full of my beingness.

This overwhelming experience is in fact worry and fear of not having enough time which then changes my attitude, presence and the way I feel and thus express myself and based on that there is still a tendency to accumulate it into a specific type of frustration which triggers a typical self-accepted response of the least practical yet still self-defined automatic behavior of self-stimulation.

What I experience is a layer of worry and frustration which triggers the need of being stimulated - there were many kind of things I used to stimulate myself with - some were quite self-dishonest and self-abusive: simply delusional for instance obsession to sex, porn, alcohol, drugs, danger, adrenaline, even crime in order to intensify enough the mind I've allowed myself to exist within and as to equate the already manifested negative experiences with what I've defined as positive, interesting, adventurous, good, fascinating and then riding these extreme amount of energetic experiences and by that defining myself to be alive and feel unique and special and just flying through reality.

Well that type of stimulation is over, I am sober, quite stable and in terms of self-abuse I am manifesting a self-agreement with my physical presence, human body to establish a practical, liveable unification within not accepting anything self-abusive, self-dishonesty so facing the living of a change which is not always obvious so in this case the layers of belief systems are unfolding one after one and it is not just about self-realization as "AHA, I SEE" as it is the tip of the iceberg, the beginning of the physical work of the real-time change who I am in each breath within consistency as the constant awareness of self-direction of change within and as the very decision of practical transcending the points of energetic addictions.

Within that I am realizing that the very reasons I've stuck myself for mind-altering substances for a while to intensify my experiences(alcohol then drugs mostly) was to hide from the already manifested creation of who I really am and thus until I did not stop the consuming of these substances I did not even have the chance to see why I really used these, hiding and trying to escape from what exact starting points within myself, the very manifested energetic experiences I've used as myself as personality about how and why I've created myself this way and remaining so - as long as I've kept alive these characters within myself with the mind-altering sessions - I've remained within the same cycles.

It required absolute Self-honesty to realize that for instance even when smoking weed all the time - and inducing apparently more and more new cool reactions within myself - it was all the same - from it's starting point - inducing energetic states which initiated from the same: the already manifested issues within myself what I've covered up with this kind of stimulation.
And when stopped the weed - the patterns came up and the judgements, reactions, thoughts - that was the same always - as the very same personality 'made me smoke' always and they very same personality was boosted always with it - and when I've decided to explore what is beyond these patterns I've realized this is sooooooooo limited, so much the same and in fact the very opposite of the idea of freedom so then with Self-honesty, the stopping was simply common sense.
There is this saying that "You do not truly know someone until you fight them" - and I'd change that:

You do not truly know yourself until you stop yourself.

Because to stop who you are - you have to know yourself - and if something you can't stop - it's common sense: it is not self here - as you should be able to stop yourself, that is why called 'yourself', right?

Sunette wrote this article once:

• STOP! – and discover yourself

and it is extremely supporting to see one's mind and to what extent we give permission to our mind to influence, separate, stimulate who we are within starting point, perception, the words we use and from that what to act out:

You sit down and you say "I stop all of me"  - for a moment, giving the time and situation to not need to care with the world, just for half an hour and just sit and say "I stop all myself, I stop here and remain just be here".
And then from that moment - whatever moves within me - energies, thoughts, images, desires, worries - it is not self here - as self all self can stop is directing to stop for the moment - so then with this simple act we can see the extent how much we accepted and allowed to give permission to the mind to move automatically to influence, stimulate, direct, move ME here.

So for being able to question ourselves we stop for a moment and this requires to know who we really are - otherwise the attempt to stop self will not be absolute and by that it is possible to see what is really here. And to always use energetic experiences to influence, move me without understanding me - it is just like oil to fire - everything intensifies and within the experience of intensity then that is in the focus, not it's origin, not reality as self here.

Meaning that one does not know oneself until stopping all alcohol, weed, crystal, acid whatever is reasonable to help through oneself within one's life and experiences.

The very fabric of our beingness is the physically manifested dependency on the act of relying to fear, separation, judgement and excuse and justification, hope to avoid direct confrontation of what is really happening in reality, what it is what we exactly accept and allow within our world today in each moment thus realizing the responsibility for what creation we are busy participating within as self here.

For my part within this - is to realize that the substitution for all these energetic addictions when there is any worry, frustration is this self-stimulation which is currently I am accepting sometimes as the need and justification for entertainment.

Specifically meaning when I have many things to do - if I am not practical, if I am not prioritizing, if I am not considering everything here - and react, judge and lost in a reaction to any detail - a part of myself which I do not yet fully know - I allow friction, reaction within me which accumulates energetic reactions ending up fueling certain aspects of personalities automatically by giving permission to act out the character of 'relaxing, chilling, being entertained' and within that to react with an other set of reactions to re-gain the apparent equilibrium in my mind to deal with the frustration meanwhile not realizing that this is just a time loop and not the solution.

So to approach this practically I apply Self-forgiveness to see what are behind these patterns and how to correct myself within self-honesty to prevent further frictions to manifest what takes my attention from facts here to be able to really deal with things I am committed to such as be part of the solution for self-realization and for humanity as a whole wherein everyone can live within dignity and not need to fear from left behind and starve to death. Simple.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to really-really prioritize my time because of the fear of not having time for things what are obviously not priority yet fearing to let go or not wanting or not being able to let go for the sake of priority because of the worry of missing out or fear of regret because of not doing it and not engaging into self-intimacy specifically within these points and moments because then I would really see that all attachments I am holding onto and react to are of the past, not here, not real, only the fear-of change, fear of loss I give into because the fact that still participating within self-doubt, fear of facing and living who I really am and trying to gain time and hope meanwhile in fact manifesting the very point I fear from which is losing time and opportunity and in fact who I really can be without even really exploring who I could be.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to trust myself unconditionally and realizing that I've defined myself wanting to do all things I ever could do and because of fear of making the decision what I really want to do and that is because fear of mistake so still wanting to remain within the original idea of "I could do anything, whatever I'd choose" and fearing from losing that because that gives a certain reaction of apparent "freedom" which I in fact use to equalize the already self-accepted judgements and relationship I've defined myself to be in this world as "being powerless slave" so then always wanting to remain within the point of "absolute freedom without doing something yet being sort of "drunk" of the idea of "I could do anything" because fearing from not being able to do anything.

And within that I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to really decide and commit myself to do one thing with absolute full of my beingness within the fear of loss of the idea of self-defined idea of freedom and also the fear of failure, fear of mistake and thus defining myself based on the mistakes I would make and then accepting myself to define myself according to experiences what I judge, defining myself who I am according to the self-definition, judgement, thinking mechanism and not realizing that the thoughts I accept and allow come up and possess me are not myself as life directly here but as the manifested reflection of what I accept and allow myself to be within the starting point of separation, fear thus the solution is to stop these self-definitions, stop the reaction to these thoughts, find practical ways to prevent myself reacting to these thoughts and embrace these aspects of myself and stop and remain stopped and explore what I can be and become beyond these reactions.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that the solution is to stop acting upon frustration and stop playing along with that character of stimulating myself with entertainment and when I am able to stop, I can apply prioritizing effectively.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to dig deeper within myself beyond the energy of frustration of not having enough time and realizing what it is really I fear from specifically in the situation of having a weekend and what to do which is the best for me any my reality and not realizing that I am not seeing directly here and my starting point of self-doubt because of defining myself within experience, within fear of loss, within fear of letting go the idea of freedom and not questioning it and by that not deliberately not wanting to realize that the self-created idea of freedom is in fact self-limitation.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that how things really work in real time and space and by that being able to plan and do through things I direct myself to and also being that an uncertainty on how to practically approach something getting done because being lost in the self-defined reactions of experiences of worry of not being able to get it done and not realizing that the solution is accumulate self-directed steps one by one within stability meanwhile focusing on preventing frustration from reaction to limitations and also seeing what limitation I experience is self-perceived and which is physical reality and by that being able to work with facts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from letting go the idea of freedom of I can do anything without realizing that it is not real freedom, only within my mind - and when trying to live that perceived freedom I can really see how it is exactly self-limitation and fearing from realizing it I'd rather allow myself to be frustrated by fear of failure, fear of loss of freedom by actually start doing it and realizing what really would mean to do it and focusing to the experience of worry and frustration and it's band aiding with another layer of experiences, rather than questioning it and myself and how to stop and prevent that happening and really start exploring within physical self-expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within entertainment and self-stimulation with things what I react to with intensity, reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions are real and good and positive and not realizing that it is for an other layer of mind to equate, stimulate and the very reason and giving into entertainment and the idea of entertainment is because of that point.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that even with the word entertainment I've formed a relationship what I've defined as price, gift, result and defining it as then I can feel myself good and not realizing it is a polarity and by that whatever I do which is not entertaining would mean it can not be cool therefore determining my experiences regarding to the duality of entertainment or not entertainment and by that automatically creating this friction within of negative and positive and defining it as who I am without questioning the relationships I've allowed with words defining what is entertainment, who I am in relation to entertainment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in relation to entertainment and defining it as not cool and blaming myself for doing it and not realizing that if I focus to entertainment only and because of escaping a state of mind into it becomes a problem, not focusing on solution and not being able to direct myself effectively, according to priorities to engage entertainment within self-honesty, without friction, without frustration.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within memories of entertainment there is already an association to frustration of possibly doing it out of frustration even when not and also fearing from remaining within entertainment if enjoying it too much because defining it as overcoming frustration and if fully enjoying it then fearing from wanting to be entertained constantly and never considering self-direction, self-honesty, self-will to prioritize and support and actually enjoy myself regardless of the relationships to specific words such as priority, entertainment, frustration, enjoyment and conditioning myself to think that if I enjoy myself there should be frustration and if I do priority then it should not be enjoyment instead of equalizing, unificating myself in practical real time and space considering facts and letting go fictions one by one by applying self-honesty and focus to what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate prioritizing things to do based on frustration and entertainment instead of considering what is the best for me and all within absolute self-honesty and if not being able to consider what would mean this in practical action then directing myself to investigate, see/realize/understand and investigate, decide and will myself doing what I can within self-expression.

I realize that I can enjoy priorities what are in fact myself thus I can enjoy myself and the practical question I can ask is that what is the reason I am not enjoying myself and using common sense to see when enjoyment is possible or even relevant and not trying to define myself or refer myself according to enjoyment thus manifesting another polarity and duality and friction and separation within me by defining who I am myself according to enjoyment with superimposed ideas and opinions instead of trusting myself here and expressing within practically scheduling, using the time effectively and within self-honesty.

A blog post from Creation's Journey to Life on TV, entertainment, fear, solution:

• http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-105-turn-on-television.html

To walk through self-definitions, fear, limitations, mind-polarities, check out Desteni I Process Online Courses:

• http://desteniiprocess.com

[JTL 152] Let go Fear and Desire to start LIVING

As I really started to stop participate within judgement, energetic mind, fear and desires I started to face points I have never experienced - more precisely: I was never aware of..the life of beyond desires and fears...

I had 'ideas' about it that these kind of things I will have to face but the actual taste is obviously different than expected.

What I've realized that stopping judging positive or negative changes the already manifested energetic equilibrium within my mind, body and in fact the whole beingness.

I was able to notice to stop motivations within me - sounds strange, right? - which are based on desire or fear to an extent that I've noticed I am not moving that much automatically.

I was observing myself not moving, even to the extent that I woke up and I remained in bed - of course that's just alright after a week of hard work on a shiny Saturday morning - but not for me who I've defined myself to be - "I am always enthusiastic to jump out from the bed and do the things I usually do"- however for some weeks I was just stopping - stopping sexual desire(while sleeping with a beauty), stopping worry and fear from financial issues and car crash(learning to drive in the biggest traffic) so it seems like I went nuts by becoming not motivated from a normal human perspective, right?

These things(desires, fears) stimulate me, influence me, move me only because I allow it - I've realized this, so the question within Self-honesty was

"Is it good for me giving permission to my mind to allow external circumstances to define me who I am in any moment?"

Within Radical Freedom I say NO - but what is the current personality of humanity(which we could approximate if we would take all human into one body 'theoretically') would say:

desire is cool, because pulls you towards which is good(for you)
fear is supporting, because pushes you away which is bad(for you).

But within the starting point of Absolute Self-honesty I realized this is the very essence of the enslavement we all humans are accepting and allowing within ourselves, which is the manifestation of the REAL Matrix we live within - the Mind Consciousness System with it's all rules, definitions, judgements, the core of the problem which is in fact separation - preventing each and every human being to embrace and unify their very core of beingness of what is physically here, undefined, un-polarized but directly realize/see/experience everything as self here.

Obviously this is the goal of many agendas, forces, interests within this world referred as spiritual, enlightenment, religious, secret- or mass-formations while their intent seems good, valid and positive, they are all lost within consciousness systems having no reference, no taste, no power of what entails to be or even comprehend of what it means to reach our greatest potential transcending consciousness as LIFE and having no practical way in any way whatsoever how to deal with the currently manifested human systems which are obviously took over and directing our very essence of how and who we are today as humanity as on individual level and as a whole as well.

Myself I've investigated, followed, tried, became some of these methodologies in terms of copycatting, evolve and time loop within the certain pre-programmed steps of these -'ism'-s, which I do not go into explaining today - only saying I had the motivation, energy and time to give myself fully into these symbolic attempts, practices and today here being able to smoothly and certainly - consistently and clearly say that these will become blind alleys, dead ends if one is able to apply Self-honesty in terms of using practical common sense about the capabilities of one's realizations and power over oneself and the world to able to be applied; meaning being able to change one's beingness, the various system manifestations within this world which is currently directing the already manifested accepted habit of harm against life, the abuse, the disregard of respect all life equally.

Any master, guru, lama, rimpoche, priest, monk, coach, guide, seer, shaman or whatever they are being called, who can not face any systems within this world without being able to walk through it, understand it, wording and explaining it and find practical, physically doable ways to stop it and transform it to be aligned with the interest of all life is simply a lie, a cheat, a pretend, a con and within that it is part of the system of and those individuals are also lost within delusions and in fact are the agents of the enslavement without them seeing/knowing/realizing it.

Anyone can feel good, say wildly wise words who has food, water, shelter, fat income - but to deny those who has not such within the starting point of any interest is the real evil in this world because if one really dares to walk the Self-realization can inevitably see/understand/realize the only thing that really matters is Physical Equality. Anyone denies it is still walking out the maze of consciousness systems of EGO without seeing the exit.

Within current human system - except the continuously reducing number of places - money is the fuel of surviving, the blood of life and until that accepted system is neglecting anyone in the excuse of 'without hard work, belief or knowledge or royalty or money: one should not eat' - humans are nothing else but savages, beasts, demonic forces stripped away from real love, compassion, lacking the very essence of what it means to be aware.

These words might seem harsh, wild accusations from an extreme point of view but it is not me to judge but embrace what is here and if this is here - this is what we must acknowledge first in order to be able to understand, stop and change as ourselves as equal as one, step by step, accumulating with the simple mathematics of 1+1=2.

I've walked some areas of Earth wherein faced extreme poverty, suffering and neglect and I might seem pessimistic or even stoic but I exist as nothing of that kind.

I am optimistic and idealistic, because I start to understand that in fact we can stand up within ourselves and being each of us The Society as the Representative of All Life and step by step be aligned with the Unification of Man, the Desteni of the Universe, which is Equality and Oneness on Earth. Practical Appreciation of Equal Life within all humans is obviously the Eye of the Needle which is our real purpose and only those who are proven to be standing for All Life Equally should be referred as LIFE for accumulating towards a future which is indeed best for all.

I always consider myself, my life as being extremely lucky, even that many of what I entail of has nothing to do with luck, still countless of who I am today is of luck - I am grateful, I am sober, I am responsible.

Within Investigation of various human system manifestations it became clear to me that the economic, political, educational and media forces are directing humanity's future which I am interested with in order to transform ourselves to being capable of stopping accepting HELL ON EARTH for billions while systematically exterminating our own breathing environment, the animals, plants, oceans, nature, basically everything like a cancer, a virus within absolutely possessed with ideas of our delusion with the experience of consciousness evolution while we imagine, project our energetic, virtual, egoistic, self-interested mind towards various beautiful experiences of HEAVENS.

So the solution is right front of us, here, directly, and only those do not see what is here who want to enforce their own truth through the starting point of their EGO mind of thoughts, feelings, emotions and not realizing that each and every single being is busy facing self as truth while disregarding what is already here in and as physical reality.

And within seeing/realizing/understanding the delusion as our truth - stopping is common sense, taking responsibility for what is here is common sense and indeed making our hands dirty and deal with these economic, political, educational, media, military etc forces what who we are currently while being absolutely clear, consistent within the starting point of who we REALLY are as the Seed of EQUAL LIFE within each.

That is why the Equal Life Foundation - group of people who realized they are LIFE - is busy investigating, researching, exploring possible practical ways to manifest a world which is Best for all by each is giving what would like to receive - even within the current economic, political system.

That is Living Income Guaranteed, not just a basic income, but a liveable life-support for all newborn, all seed of life equally - with a fraction of the computational power currently we have with technology we could already operate a simple, transparent monetary system wherein each human's food, shelter, health care and education is taken care of.

No revolution, war, aggression is required at all - those are of fear, which is also part of the consciousness trap - we all should rather see the advantages of the system which is being promoted in the name of democracy, the power of One Man - One Vote which through each and every individual could and should stand up for manifesting an establishment which ensures the basic requirements for our physical living - without that currently many are facing reality as being neglected, disregarded to degrade living into surviving, fight, pain and suffering, which is unnecessary and none of us, who currently have goodies would want this for ourselves.

That is why the individuals who are walking Desteni I Process do promote LIG, because they equally realized the common sense of the same realization that LIFE must come first and if any system, even if the monetary system neglects that respect for life, then it is unacceptable, it must be understood, changed but not within the starting point of reaction/judgement/separation/fear/anger - rather than within unification, embrace and transform from inside out as equal as one as ourselves step by step, breath by breath.

That is why we can stand out and dare to say to each who promote love and light, compassion and positivity that the real compassion must be considered in this human system, this humanity and this Earth is all what we've got and critical, self-honest, cross-referencing self- and world-investigation is required to be able to stand up for all life.

Because within positivity, there is the other polarity within separation with negativity, which is of judgement, of consciousness, of mind of fear what always reflects back as lack of power, lack of stability, lack of absolute self-trust which is required to face the things what already manifested on Earth and are far away from being cool.

A process of re-alignment is required, a self-investigation of letting go all toxic and automatic inner reactions we accept and allow as inferiority, separation, self-interest and fear.

Simple - within fulfilling my desire I do not desire it - because I experience it - or my reaction to the fulfillment of my desire - so only those desire who do not experience, it is common sense. But to question experience, it's consequence is also part of the package what should be considered - as experience will not last and are being subjected to facts - and also within the common sense point of if I allow myself to be determined by and as experience - am I really real or only something what is of conditions, conscience, consciousness systems?

So after all this - I return to how I've started this whole point - why I do this stopping desire, stopping fear - as it seems to be the greatest fuel of the human - it is in fact limitation, it is enslavement, it is not who we really are as life as equality, because we use our MIND to connect, to define, to judge, to fulfill, to experience, to express through and therefore physically become as.

It is explained perfectly within this Equality and Oneness system design:

"Once you participate within the Unified Consciousness Field the only way you are going to be Oneness and Equality with the Mind within the Unified Consciousness Field of this world if you have a relationship with someone or something separate from you. Therefore:

Let's say if you have a relationship with something or someone of this world, you are trapped, enslaved, you are a goner, you are done, you are the slave to the mind, the Unified Consciousness Field, you are in the prison of your own creation...."

The original interview:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DFG5xutHEw

That is why I stop my mind and desires what automatically move me - I do not accept myself having a personality which I give permission to tell me who I am; especially within the realization that I am all life here equally - there is no need for personality which through I am always separated from all what is here.

Yet we are all infused with various layered fear-mechanism to never question, never go beyond our perceived 'self' - for instance sometimes I experience this physical shock-like state of fear - so intense, so brutally real - the desire for give into the energies, to avoid certain uncomfortability, fear, pain, just to remain limited, programmed, separated from all what is here, but within the overwhelming experience I do not see that and it's consequences and it is a problem - that is what we accumulated through aeons of time and the same accumulation is required within consistent application to investigate, understand, embrace, stop and change our very beingness of who we are within the realization of we are all LIFE within each act we do(or not do).

That is why I work on this mind I see, that is my real job and within this system, no one is telling me to do so - yet I do not stop it until it's necessary and I also can not tell anyone to walk through the mind, the consciousness, the limitation, the thoughts, feelings, emotions, the fear, the desire - it is the decision which only SELF can decide and walk out from the maze of consciousness mind energies and explore what is beyond that and we well see who is really life, who is able to take responsibility for all what is here.

Who can not walk through the one self's mind are still in the process of self-realization of what is real, what is not and if self is not willing to give up the delusion of self-interest, the self-virtualization of of clever thoughts, great feelings and perceived personality to all-life's interest - then the basic principle of existence will assist and support to show, face and directly experience what one is accepting and allowing within and as Equality and Oneness.

The physical reality is the greatest assistance within our life to see directly within consistency to experience of who we accepted and allowed ourselves to become on individual and also whole level of humanity and everything will fall which is not life, which is not eternal within equality and oneness as self. And certainly will not go away until we change within and with out as it is who we are, as we are here, the world is HERE as equal as one. Simple.

It might not be pleasant to lose all what was never real if one is still holding onto it - that is why it is suggested to let go everything unconditionally moment by moment, breath by breath within common sense yet remaining practical, aligning to what is best for all.

And within practical consideration of the current human system, we still have to eat, rest, remain healthy, support our children so that means most of us has to remain in the system, but learn to be not of the system - and earn money - so it is not about becoming monk and go into cave to meditate on all of this - and certainly not to revolt, fight as it is ourselves what we face in all ways - but the solution is that we all have to become activist, economist, and even politician within the consideration of "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself".

And also important to mention that even when letting go desire and stopping fear - we still can be here and compared to conditions enjoy ourselves, each other while standing up for all life.

So this is radical freedom as one can never imagine the 'freedom' what is waiting here beyond desire and fear until not transcended fully within our physical actions.

So in the next post I will continue with my personal experiences and realizations of stopping my desires and fears while and as I do walk the writing Journey to Life blogs, sharing VLOGS, listening to EQAFE, investigating existing human systems, walking online course of Desteni I Process.

Here is a very supportive audio interviews about Consciousness(and it's whole series):