[JTL 65] How Drugs Promote Paranoia Research Part 3

This is a continuation of:

• How Drugs Promote Paranoia Research Part 1
• How Drugs Promote Paranoia Research Part 2

I am gathering points I've been faced as paranoia with drugs, first of all focusing on the most stimulating place: PARTY!

Back then I was not able to consider the fact that I can directly move myself - I was always busy with strategies, tactics, methodologies and stimulation what to I reacted and by that trying to 'get free'.
 Well, eventually I've became self-honest to the degree to acknowledge to myself that this is not the solution but meanwhile at least I've been faced so many fears and paranoia.

Since back then, in my old days - I've found very useful to expose myself and my ego with drugs at parties because:

•  there is no private area, I can not pull back to be alone and control everything to my habits wherein I remain the same - I wanted to be changed indirectly
• always faced with many-many people constantly - I did not have the time to think and go into my own bubble and alone wander around while twisted on substances
•  very-very loud intense, mind-stimulating music - it pressured me and mind - at a certain degree it seemed like the music was so overwhelming, it washed away my thoughts
• everybody is screwed - it is okay to be weird and not being judged - I did not need to pretend too much
•  I can be all alone and in the next moment communicate with others - I can dance, I can sit and drink/eat/smoke or I can just watch people - so I can switch the setting immediately if I want or I can let things flow

 For these reasons I've chosen psychedelic trance and drum and bass parties for years to take high amount of psychedelic drugs in order to see how I react and what things I experience and realize in order to realize:

     "Who I am, what is going on here and what I am supposed to do(with my life)?"

However in the first years I have been exposed so many paranoia - there is a type of people who enjoy party but mostly not much - because it is quite intense and it is like a catalyst for the mind to reach certain states - and in the beginning I was not really a party boy - so that's why I've pushed myself towards it - it seemed more practical than sitting in a room and meditating quietly. However this brought up many-many fears and some were re- and reoccurring and those were already developed paranoia what the intensity of drug and the experiences just catalyzed.

So I make a list of the paranoia I've been exposed to while taken considerably high dosage of drugs at parties wherein I've introduced to realize some social paranoia within myself.

PROBLEM

The basic problem is that mostly the drug user is unaware of the fact of 'I am here, I can direct myself, I can directly access, explore and express myself regardless of any stimulants', because once one starts to do so - judgments arise, others can reflect back what one judge furthermore and then one experiences reactions towards judgments and then one does not realize that experience does not last but the physical wherein one is breathing - so then one is focusing to the thoughts, judgments, paranoia and then by giving attention to these - they will remain and will be stronger and then one will experience oneself less and less directive, powerful and self-directive what then tries to balance out/overcome/explode/boost with drugs in order to experience differently

List of my paranoia at party while on drugs:

• Paranoia from being busted by police/authorities - these things are PROHIBITED and in some countries such as where I live it is quite a punishment one can get and considering the fact that these drugs can have 4-10 hours of effects - one requires only think once about the consequences of being caught, taking to police station and being harassed by rude mustached per-judgmental policemen who are eager to give a fatherly lesson of how evenly BAD things I've done
• Paranoia from being awkward, behaving strangely, someone who not supposed to notices that I am high
• Paranoia from judged as not acceptable, outcast, weirdo, ugly, unattractive, crazy etc
• Paranoia from doing something what is BAD for somebody else because I am not really myself being extremely twisted by hallucinations/delusions/realms/dimensions
• Paranoia from harming myself in a way that I am not aware of for instance winter time not taking coat while being in the snow on acid - it does not seem relevant however it matters for the body
• Paranoia from becoming too high, taking too much, what will be inconvenient/unpleasant/surreal/creepy
• Paranoia from not becoming enough high, taking too less, the stuff is not strong enough
• Paranoia from meeting someone who with my relationship is different, for instance a boss or parent of a friend, a girl to I wanted to be presentable as smart and not violently stoned for instance
• Paranoia from losing my papers/phone/money while having wild party for instance trance dance on acid
• Paranoia from someone approach me and wants to talk with me
• Paranoia from the idea of no one wants to talk with me
• Paranoia from losing myself in any way whatsoever
• Paranoia from a girl wants to be with me and I can even barely talk
• Paranoia from screwing my mind permanently and 'losing it'
• Paranoia from being photographed while on drugs and being published on social media/websites

So for start this will do - these I've had back there and I had to face each while on stuff on music party.

Oh yes, paranoia from the music not being good enough was also topic sometimes because I concluded myself to be very picky about what kind of music I can 'fly' with and 'enjoy' and anything else was like 'normal/insignificant/boring/not psychedelic' meanwhile doing these drugs being at these handful of performers were like gate opener for the specific experiences I was after. However - jumping back to the specific paranoia - one can notice that most of these paranoia can be relevant for anybody at any time regardless of drugs - but being on drugs means that the mind is enhanced/boosted/altered/shifted/twisted - and if one has no direction within and as the mind to see and consider what is real while not using drugs - then while taking the drugs it is clear that with the drug one can not really know for sure that what one is experiencing is 'more' or 'less' real.

For instance I remember at a specific event I was on acid and from time to time I looked towards a direction and there was a person who always looked back at me at the same time and after 2-3 like that I thought that he is watching me and I had the questions automatically about: Why? Is something wrong with me or he wants something or what?
 And after all it did not really matter but in the beginning I was really unstable and things like that brought up my paranoia.

And there are certain things what are facts - like the one that police really can come into the scene at any time and start screwing up things by arresting criminals('drug abuse')- so with that I could not really do anything practical - I considered the risk and prepared for happening and if they come I will react anyways but for that I quickly evolved within my mind with the self-judgments of 'fear from it' versus 'it still worthy' and beyond that I will see, I trusted in 'greater forces'.

And it is fascinating to write about drug-related paranoia because except the ones what directly related to the drug itself - any other paranoia is already existing within one's mind but with the drug as the mind is enhanced - there is the chance that the paranoia as manifested relationship with self-definitions regarding to fear might be pronounced and overwhelmed as experience as self identification as well.

Another question is that how one is dealing with 'problems' as self-accepted personality system for instance one can be diverted for instance saying 'let us not speak about it and then it might not happen' or for instance I was the one who if had some drug I did hide it somehow somewhere if a bust would come then I would have time or choice to react with regards to avoid manifesting the subject of my paranoia such as busted for possession of illegal substance by not carrying it around or having it hidden in a secret stash in my shoes etc. But I was not really a druggy guy - some blotters with some mushroom head I was not really fearful - however probably the ones who are dealing with 'white dusts etc' are more likely...

After all - regardless of one is able to consider or not all existing fears within oneself - when taking the drug it is within one's mind beyond some layers anyway - and people seems to tend to just see where the 'ride takes' - it is not always easy to really having a great time meanwhile taking drugs at a party...especially when doing with so called 'hallucinogens' - that is like the very essence of the mind and paranoia itself to face...
 And I am sure that not much people are able to remain always here as breath - and constantly be aware of the play of the mind that it is not real - and anybody can say that 'I know, it is just the trip' - but all experience affects/effects us on a level what we are not aware of fully - therefore influences will come - and already 'containing' definitions/reactions might become stronger or less dominant - but the point I take is that here is NOT Self is the directive principle - at some moments maybe - but in overall - not really - therefore I do not suggest it - rather than one should learn to express self within writing and develop self-intimacy to explore within self-direction and slowly but surely develop self-confidence, self-will, self-honesty and self-commitment to explore/change/express within the full understanding to the utmost specificity of one's life.

Taking stimulating and mind-blowing/hallucinogen drug is different when one is drinking beers and shorts and wine - because some things are completely legal and even promoted by the government until one can keep up with the rules of not harming other or not drinking on street in a daycare etc. And alcohol seems to be some sort of stimulant but in fact a central nervous system depressant. Meaning after a while you might numb down literally to a degree of being quite insensible.

But for instance LSD is more likely stimulant - makes the mind really liquid/fly - and if one's mind contains paranoia - it might fly with it as well.

I've found particularly fascinating to try to predict who is 'eligible' for taking such drugs and who is not by trying to judge them how stable, self-reflective and able to open for those new kind of experiences.
 Overall I've known some mates who I judged as they should not take the stuff and refused them to assist and heard that they had some 'bad trip' and even there were quite some occasion when I've judged one as 'capable of handling it' meanwhile they did some extremely stupid thing therefore faced serious accident what I did not foresee.

Even the very definition of 'bad trip' is paranoia as one is so much focused on the mind that believes it literally and not realizing that programming the mind is responsibility what can be understood, changed, stopped for greater good but not much people really grasp the very possibility to direct and understand - and in fact deciding to be absolutely honest with self  -to a degree to even connect the dots that 'I am might be responsible for all what I experience'.

And after all - these are experiences and what I am reacting to these experiences what will determine which become real as consequence of my starting point.
Even to define an experience as 'bad trip' is consequence of already accepted judgments of 'what is good and what is trip' and then 'what is bad' for instance when a thought comes and I stuck with it's silence shout within - and I react to it and I overwhelm by the echos of my mind and it grows and becomes the entire experience for instance a particular paranoia takes over and a fear would manifest as myself as physical discomfort and I do not understand how I've manifested it and how I did participate within specific mind-patterns and then I am unable to stop and then I fear from 'it will remain so' and then the trip becomes bad I scare the shit out of myself for instance of 'remaining crazy'.

I did not have these things - I was more likely the suppressive guy who was able to suppress everything and in the next moment experiencing 'I am clear' - however it formed as a some sort of depression what is not the topic today but just gave an example that there is no escape from reacting with paranoia if there is a fear within.

Many guys I know had the conclusion to not take for instance acid anymore only because they faced a particular paranoia what made them to pull back and never wanting to face it again - well for me that would drove crazy and I'd repeat the experience to overcome it but not within Self-honesty but with force - trying to empower myself with energy, more energy, with more intense circumstances, more killer music etc but after all - these did not work to transcend the fear really. It took several years to acknowledge that I require more than just these substances or spiritual meditation(what is the same as drug only it's much-much slower) and that is why I am taking the time to share these things for anybody to not loop in time as I did but directly be able to have the best practical tools as Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness, Self-correction and Self-commitment to not waste so much time, energy, money and eventually years to run in circles with the most basic points such as fear from being intimate with myself and never questioning why I am not expanding and I am 'having' these guys around me who still believe within the drug instead of directly SELF HERE and therefore they seems to be stuck but to acknowledge it: takes courage but after all - it exposes who we are and what we want to be within our gifted physical life, but it must be obvious now to not dare ourselves to acknowledge that 'I've been mistaken, I was wrong in my entire life' - seems to be tough for many but after all what for we are living if not to realize and change unconditionally?

If everything falls, stick to the basic principle as Equality and Oneness and use the tools, write within Self-honesty, everything of mind, write out, realize the relationships, apply self-forgiveness and explore stopping the existing paranoia - regarding to drug, to childhood fears or even paranoia from paranoia itself.

So drug-paranoia is quite big topic, I've just scratched the surface with my own experiences but the conclusion for this session is already clear:

PARANOIA as the fear from the noise of the mind is problem while one is taking drug and it is always related to the starting point of why one is taking the drug and as it is literally the 'starting point': it determines the outcome, the consequence, the result, the consequence and by these in fact the responsibility for what one is experiencing therefore what is reacting to and how will behave by.

By the specific examples of paranoia(what were my own fears when one (- me, theoretically of course - did/would) take drugs.

The problem as pronounced before is that people are not able to be honest with self to see the starting point for why taking the drug, with what setting within boosting the mind-set for different kind of perception.

Another problem is that one does not see the energetic experiences within related to thoughts/feelings/emotions and how these are really working and in specific daily life events how one really operate by and through and eventually as these inner backchats, habits, personalities, characters.

Also it is problem that the drug and it's effect people are unaware of - just seeing how one particular substance alters one's owns mind and how one is reacting to it for what specific interest.
It is not always enough to say 'wanting to have good times' or 'I want to have better understanding' meanwhile having issues and behaviors what one already have relationship with such as lack of self-confidence or fear from facing a childhood paranoia.

It is also prominent to note that not to be able to see/realize/understand problems and solutions within our life without drug and expecting solution/band aid from a drug or wanting to have a specific experience with what one can feel better or want to change.

SOLUTION

Taking Self-responsibility through and as the realization of practical Self-forgiveness, Self-corrective statements and Self-commitments to become aware of what must be done within what circumstances specifically how in each situation wherein one already realized the Self-dishonesty what wants and scipts to prepare, act and stabilize to stop and explore what is beyond that fear as Self as Life.

There is an extensive research have been done by Andrea Rossouw  in the blog called Crime's journey to Life within the following posts:

Spiritual drug usage

• Day 96: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use 

Why people take drugs

• Day 97: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 2

 The causes behind drug use:

• Day 99: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 3

 An example or two of the character of somebody who uses and abuses drugs:

• Day 100: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 4 

 'The happiness-drug-user' Self-forgiveness:

• Day 101: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 5 

 'The happiness-drug-user' Self-forgiveness continued:

• Day 102: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 6 

Fear-dimension within Social-situations continued:

• Day 103: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 7

 Backchat Dimension of the drug user within Social-situations:

• Day 104: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 8

 Reaction Dimension of the drug user within Social-situations:

• Day 105: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 9

 Behavioral Dimension of the drug user within Social-situations:

• Day 106: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use part 10

 Self-Corrective Statements:

• Day 107: The Psychology of Crimes against Life: Drug use Part 11

It seems to be a lot but it is worthy to walk through, I really suggest to do so for everybody to read and embrace as each post is specific and to see within each sentence 'Is this actually related to my own life? How?' And to gift ourselves with the realization of what we are accepting and allowing as our self/reality what we are responsible for - especially when deciding to understand the dynamics of ourselves to be able to stop.

Quoting from this blog:

"why people take drugs*" - the main contexts that one is able to see stepping forth though, is that the drug connects to the users mind and changes, suppresses or heightens certain mental aspects for the person on their behalf, this obviously depends on the chemical compound i.e. the purpose of the drug.

Each drug user will give a reason for using the drug, and that reason is how the person defend their use of drug. If one then look behind the reason, which is usually the beautiful things like 'expression' spirituality and heightened levels of consciousness' you will see the cause behind why people use drugs. The causes are for example depression, anxiety, Fear, wanting to forget, Pain, Worries, Suppression of Emotions such as Anger, Jealousy, to alleviate the discomfort around poverty and lack of money to purchase what others have etc.."

So this is a very cool assistance and support to walk through the reason and starting point what will give some points to explore within regarding to the reasons why one would make habit for taking drugs to in fact escape from reality.

As the problem is NOT the drug, not even the intake of the drug however if the starting point is 'corrupted' by a self-definition - as self-dishonesty as fear from lose - there is a chance that one is not able to walk through that starting point even with the experience of the drug itself - if that would shake the foundation of one's personality, one might build in excuses and justifications and then the 'drug taking for freedom' becomes 'drug for build self-slavery' even further.


And I am aware of that many has the starting point of 'awakening', 'transcending', 'changing' and 'exploring' consciousness/reality/mind/self/life - I only say that without Self-honesty, one can take anything or have access to everything and will not dare to fundamentally question and change one's own self what is already a Programmed Mind Consciousness System what has created/developed and stabilized it's own energetic status quo by the very thoughts/feelings/emotions/memories/definitions/habits/reactions as we refer to call ourselves as 'me, myself, I'. That can not be disregarded in a singular moment even with the highest drug experience - as it was built by the simple mathematical equation of 1+1=2, day by day, year by year and the same consistency is required to dissolve, walk out from it but with Self-discipline, Self-direction fueled by and as Self-honesty as Life.

Quoting again from Crime's journey to Life blog some Self-forgiveness to give an example for what I mean.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within perpetual cycles of emotion and feeling polarities, where I exist from day to day to live for the positive feeling experience such as joy, and to avoid the negative emotions such as sadness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to grow up believing in the CONcept that who we are - are our emotions, feelings and thoughts -

within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realizing and understanding for myself throughout my life, from observing my experiences, that these cycles of energetic experiences are truly not supportive of me as they by nature are uncomfortable, lead to abusive self practices and contain the being within continual struggles and depression/angst.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that emotions/feelings - once I for a moment stop participating in them, do not change me as what remains when those 'cycles' end is me consistent here as a living, breathing expressive being -

then I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize and see the common sense that surely it is not a system of the mind that indeed supports me, but only exists as a constant battle, a and is system that requires my understanding and directing, instead of blindly following, where I eventually accept a life around who I am as my thoughts, feelings and emotions, instead of living self responsibility in self honesty as what is best for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop my personality from childhood into adulthood, around my emotions and feelings, whereby I live in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort I experience from allowing my own emotional patterns such as jealousy, anger, conflicted and the 'polarities' between which these points swing - which we call the seeking of the pleasures of life - which would exist as the polarity struggles between feelings and emotions such as: joy/sadness, hope/hopelessness, fear/brave, have/have not, beauty/ugly, joyful/depressed etc.

And finally quoting one Self commitment statement from Crime's journey to Life:

Therefore I commit myself that when and as I realize I will not become a personality through the use of drugs to fit into how society interact on the levels of the go and energy addictions - to stop the fears that come up around the point of 'what If I no longer belong' and to immediately stand equal and one to myself as life, to support only directive living that is best for all, and to realize that to exist in social situations that support only the mind as the ego - is not me as life, therefore if any fears come up;
 I stop I breathe, I stand physically stable and I either continue to participate in effective self expression without competing and wanting to fit in by acting like others - or I make a decision to leave, and I simply look again at the point of what it is that I would like to participate in, what social situations/interactions would support me and to then focus in the future on expressing myself where I see I would really enjoy myself, and to not fear letting go of the old personality designs I grew up believing I had to belong to.

Furthermore check those out, they are invaluable to assist and support to drop the veil of perceived self and explore what is beyond the paranoia and fear to become really free.

REWARD

To understand why I am taking the drug and actually see what I expect from it can start to transform my relationship from the drug back to myself and realize that as the Problem is me - the solution also must be - and the very habit I've formed by taking drugs for stop the paranoia of the mind is already a paranoia from directly facing, exploring, changing, taking responsibility of and as SELF as LIFE.

To explore the social fears what is already encoded into one's owns personality what the drug can enhance, suppress or even change - but if I am not the directive principle it is like a roulette - I play  casino and sometimes I win, sometimes I lose - without ever questioning how this game of mind works - and for real satisfaction is never enough.

To walk the practical tools of Self-forgiveness/Self-correction/Self-commitment and see how one is accumulating Self-direction, Self-trust, Self-integrity to realize that it is possible to directly transcend any fear and all paranoia without any drug is really something what I strongly suggest to consider/realize/try/explore!

[JTL 54] How Drugs Promote Paranoia Research Part 2

This is a Desteni research series within the 7 Years of Journey to Life on the two words: drugs and paranoia - I've started with some definitions and now continuing on my personal experiences regarding to the topic and give some insights of how to stop if one experience paranoia by understanding how it's created.
I am aware of that there are thousands of people who still glorify these stuffs and not 'feeling' paranoid - however as I've came to the conclusion that once one is focusing to thoughts, feelings, emotions - it is already indicating paranoia and this might accumulate in the future - especially when the mind is twisted with some psychoactive stuff - so the key here is Self-honesty to realize what is really real - and be able to question everything, even the drug experience by common sense and be able to cross-reference each experience because one thing is sure: experience will not last - the physical is!
And also there is an other point to consider that one can 'feel' responsible for feeling good or even stimulating others to feel good - as still of and as 'experience' - but meanwhile looking at the physically manifested human system - and all the abuse what takes on daily - the real thing is not the 'experience'-'ride' - but how to practically change the system without separation and without judgment remaining undefined, breathing, living, real beings without the para-noise of the mind. So.

Continuing from
How Drugs Promote Paranoia Research Part 1

How the mind altering substance can enhance paranoia?
It simply enhances the mind. And the mind is in fact the consequence and the very manifestation of paranoia itself. How?

What really thoughts are? How thoughts are showing us equally that we are not really able to direct ourselves as who we want, but as Gurdjieff stated out: 'as it happens' ?

Creation's Journey to Life: Day 397: Paranoia and Stopping the Mind:

"Now – the Mind is the Product of your Environment and the Events that took place in your life, and the Events that you Learned from. This in turn is Determined by the type of Preprogramming you have and the Accumulation of your Beingness throughout Time. So if you have a Propensity for Manipulation for instance then during your Early Years you will have an ‘Attraction’ to people that Manipulate because You Want to Learn How to Manipulate and therefore You will Be Manipulated; or if you have a propensity for Abuse because you get an Energetic Charge from Abusing others = you will be Placing yourself in the Environment of Abuse so that you can Become the Abuser. Now in that, the early years you are the one that Actually Decides because your Parents and your Environment simply Don’t Understand how Anything Functions so, All they’re going to do is Drive Fear into You. So all of this Develops as a Mechanism through which You are Going to ‘Harvest Energy’ for yourself. Now the Interesting thing is that You’re Not Getting the Energy from Another person, you Develop the Mechanism Within Yourself to Produce the Energy. What the Person in your Environment does is simply ‘Trigger the Program You Have.’

So, if you for instance have a Program due to Trauma where You Have Immense Fear for a Person, you will Create in the Mind – and the Mind will virtually do it by Itself because You’re Not really Aware that you are doing it – You will Create a Mechanism through which you would Detect according to your Environment, the Possibility of People in your Environment that May Cause such Trauma again, and you will end up Seeing the person that Caused the Trauma Everywhere. Now obviously the Person Doesn’t Exist, the Person Only Exists in the Mechanism that You’ve Created through which you are Attempting to Protect Yourself from such Trauma and therefore Any Person that in Any Way will Show Any form of the Patterns which are Part of your Protection mechanism in the Mind will Immediately bring up Paranoia and you’ll immediately ‘Not Like the Person,’ you’ll Immediately want to be Out of their Environment as Much as Possible, Not Communicate with them/ Stay Away from them because all they’re going to do is – according to Your Mechanism – they’re going to Abuse you and therefore you will Move Yourself out of that Environment to Protect yourself."

I walk for a moment a scenario why one would want to take drugs - this one is myself - how I've open myself up to drugs and how I've walked an evolution within my mind towards the most surrealistic ideas - what were then proven to be unreal - it was just a paranoia from what is here as reality as physical.

I've defined myself as some sort of phenomenon what I do not have direct power on - always because of external reasons - because of my family, because of having no money, because of I am ugly, because I can not really talk properly with girls, because of the government and because of faith, karma, destiny.

I was conscious about myself and my reality - but somehow I had this idea that within my current, normal life I can not see trough the things, because my point of view is not 'clear', 'strong', 'high' enough - therefore I had to 'clean', 'power up', 'heighten' my perspective, point of view.

That my current life is so occupied, and boxed, infused and in fact automated to the degree that I am unable to give the simplest answers to myself for the most basic existential questions:

• why am I here?
• what am I doing?
• why am I doing what I am doing?
• why there is suffering, how to stop it?

I had this idea that I have the normal, ordinary life - and then there is a point when I make the journey beyond the veil, beyond my comprehension, to reach out to a kind of state wherein I can make everything sense and figure out what is really happening.

I've always noticed that I am overwhelmed, pulled into experiences what I've never questioned within myself - as what comes up - basically anything comes up - must be directly me - yes - I was literally taking granted everything I've experienced within as there was this simple rule:

'anything happens within me - is directly me, any experience I have is directly me, any thought, feeling, emotion I have - it is myself, what is the normal way of being myself'

I've grown up just like that - accepting every single inner reaction as taking granted that this is who I am - whatever comes up within - is me - and it is my awareness, and meaning that by these I am experiencing my 'level of' awareness and when I am unable to change this inner experiences, for instance when at university I experienced this self-claimed energetic state called love and the girl did not and rejected me - I've hit my head into the wall literally - as this was coming up from me - so then it is me - but then so much sufferings(as I've defined: limitation and conflict within) I experienced so then after a while I've started to watch and notice that in fact I am responsible for the outer circumstances within I put myself into - and by that I've had these inner reactions - so then that was an other level within the process of realization.

That if I change who I meet with, and change that I do not drink that much alcohol and if I do not go into thinking about that girl - by simply occupying and giving another purposes, directions to me - then my inner 'accepted' suffering was reduced.

Still then - I was not directing myself - but I was able to notice that by taking mind-altering substance - I am altering my personality - I am re-wiring my mind - finding new connections and letting go others.

Meaning that the value system within - by I've defined myself and my reality - and what is important and what I want and what I do not want - it was all already manifested within - but I was unable to see through, I never even considered to stop and find out, and follow back any of my thought, feeling or emotion - how and why I am experiencing - the identification with my mind was absolute and unquestionable.

However what I was unable to grasp is peace and freedom - that drove me crazy because I was never satisfied - not with my life, not with my wired-in reactions to the outer circumstances wherein I was located.

I had this need and drive for experiencing more than what I experienced as 'here' - and that 'here-ness' - was not really my physical location - I never dared to really see what I am doing in my life - I did not even needed to - it was obvious because everything was in front of me automatically - I had the thoughts, feelings, emotions coming and going and in the experience of these I always had some explanation. Unfortunately - or fortunately I was not satisfied with my reality - because what I experienced was not stable, was not what I've created myself to desire for - even without realizing and being aware of how exactly I've created myself so.

However with alcohol I already realized that it is literally destroying the body and the only 'awareness' came out of it was that I was not inhibited anymore and some physical euphoria - but otherwise I was still doing things basically more 'automatically' what I was not satisfied with.

So I was unaware of it but when I was offered by marijuana - I was ready to smoke, hell yeah.

I've already had so much impressions from media and school - that there are people who can make difference, and there are people who in fact do change. I wanted to change, but I could not by myself - I was not even sure that what I want to change - I wanted to experience more, that was it, what I experienced was not enough.

For instance the simplest, quite broadly known story is:
Starwars - the poor farmer boy discovers the greatest force within himself with what he can win battles by simply relying on his divination and he can change the whole galaxy's future.

Seeing others being busy while fighting in the system around me(came from poor family) - I was pre-programmed to break that line with any means necessary.

So when I asked why people smoke weed, and what does it like feel - they did not say a word - but suggested me to have an experience and see it for myself.

And then when I've smoked - I've said: I feel myself strange - and the answer was literally this:

'That's why man smokes - to feel strange'.

To feel different, to experience something new, something strange was simply predetermined for me - I could not look back where I came from - my family did not seem being able to take direction and do what they really want - and after a while I could not rely on them - nor emotionally, financially or even ideologically - that is already quite a drive for the ones escaping from lower/middle-class family-realities.

Because the media is constantly bombarding everyone within the 'public domain' about how we can become special, super nice, absolutely awesome and get everything what we want - and in fact not really - or if so - it is not constant, stable - but only for a while what for we are able to pay.

So within looking for experiences beyond my 'normal' life - I've found drugs - and with drugs I've felt different, I've felt strange, I've felt high.

That was not really aware - I was just did what friends suggested so and then I had the first paranoia.

We smoked from a bong made from plastic bottle and after some inhalations I've noticed that the curtain was strangely moving at the edge of my vision - but when I've focused to it - it stopped. That was weird.
After a while when I went out - I heard the others speaking and I did not understand what they said but I was somehow sure that they speak about me - and then they laughed - I was really freaky within but did not express it - because I wanted to be sure that this is the case: they laugh at me because of how weirdo I am while smoked the first time. Well, then I could not catch them - so I came back and then they played with a microphone - it was some sort of effect on it as they spoke - it was pitch shifted/reverberated/echoed - and sounded quite strange and then they spoke many stuff into the mic and then they pointed at me and I just could not speak.
I wanted but I could not - it was almost literally the feeling when in the movie Matrix Neo could not speak when asked a lawyer from the agents when they cached him.

That was really scary and I can see I was really paranoid - because I was so high - and I just could not reach the ability within how to speak!

I was scared shirtless for some time and then I was eating some yellow pepper and then it was better but then we went through a 4-lane road to a Chinese - I was absolutely SURE about that when we step out - the military commando will catch us because of using illegal drug - I name myself now as quite brave because if I looked into my mind - it was sure thing - I could bet on that with any price - but went with them anyway and nothing happened.

I was really paranoid, I can say now - but how and why this happened? Investigation is required within.

Alright, this looks quite clear; now, how it is related to paranoia:

PROBLEM

How and why I turned to drugs:

• valuing experience more than physical reality(feeling good for a while is easier than changing my life)
• not understanding the mind, thoughts, feelings, emotions(especially how to stop when overwhelming, nobody taught that really)
• not knowing why we are here, who we really are, what would be the best to do(everybody says different truth, basically doing 'love' and 'self-interest' bubble)
• facing extreme limitation within the system meanwhile looking around and EVERYONE is doing the same while pretending to have some real meaning (wanting but not having money and feeling special as not wanting to be like others I see around me)

    What caused my initial paranoia when smoking the first time:

• not understanding what it is really doing(suppressing emotions, re-and re-creating a feeling and being able to don't give a shit about problems)
• not understanding the dynamics of my thoughts(that what I think is not what is real - however I've been talked to beliefs by my thoughts)
• allowing stories and remembrance of movie-scenes to use as knowledge/reference(defining as cool and desirable like within Matrix movie)
• fear from being punished doing something what is illegal - for the first time(also from movies being caught of rebelling the system for the first time)
• seeing things what seems to be not real, like the curtains move(psychedelic experiences are of the liquified mind however that seems crazy)
• feeling and defining as really weird because not being able to talk(fear from being judged as awkward and also feeling like in the specific movie mentioned before)
• the perception that others laugh at me because I suck(self-judgment emphasized so much by boosting my mind with the stuff)
• fearing to acknowledge exactly who and how I currently am and trying to prove the opposite what I perceive, if required even manipulate myself to prove apparently positive things about myself to have self-worth because of paranoia of not being good, worthy, nice, smart etc

SOLUTION

Understanding the simple mathematical equation of 1+1=2 as everything works within this reality by accumulation.

Accumulating thoughts, imprinted and impulsed by the same external influences all the time causing the same inner reactions will result within internal energetic compounding based on the nature and the subject of the specific thoughts, feelings, emotions - but the source, the starting point is the same within all: which is fear.

Fear from the specifically judged as bad experience will remain,
fear from the certainly judged as good experience will not remain

For instance when not knowing the effect of the drug when trying it at the first time: it might boost the certain, already imprinted, repeated and manifested patterns.
And drugs are plus energy within the equated, balanced and fractionated mind - the status quo of the fuzzy logic system will be blown away when something is drastically changed.
Some of the inner reactions might become more suppressed, some inner reactions what were suppressed might come to surface. There is a saying about drugs, especially about the so called 'psychoactive' drugs:

The drug can bring out only something what was already within you.

But the point is that if one is not aware of what is really within and as self, when Self-intimacy was never expressed, discovered, stabilized - then all of a sudden from under the carpet one can observe and experience some quite weird and strange stuff - and to react that - with unrealistic ease - might just be really paranoia.

I've seen people became really scary and childish after doing drugs, I've tons of experience of this - grownups, adults - becoming scared shitless and only being able to freaked out and run away - lolol and when I was not really scared meanwhile - I might even seem to be scary as well - but within a stable, calm approach they can re-experience some stability by what the paranoia can cool off to a degree that at least they do not freak out from simply being here as who they are within this reality.
And it is still not really a problem when one can have a taste from the real insanity about the real taste of our realms of mind - to see that what degree we have accepted and allowed to create who we are within our mind in relation to unconscious/subconscious/

conscious mind as inferior simply by defining these experiences as desirable/avoidable and building up personalities according to trying to surf between these by some clues what we've realized throughout our so called 'life'-experiences and in fact justifying our existence as who we accept ourselves to be and behave that we have the absolute right and reason to be just like that and never ever question that we might fundamentally went wrong to create our image and likeness by thoughts, feelings and emotions.

So as solution - it is to realize that we can not really trust within experience only - we can not trust within the experience of thoughts, feelings and emotions because those are context-based, because those are of self-interest based on a self what is simply a result of external influences mixed up by internal processing based on fear and desire to stop experiencing fear.

And to practically understand to what degree we screw up if we are not clear when taking drugs - even just acknowledging that we have no idea how we ended up like who we are here searching for clues to get to ourselves.

And the common sense is to write all out - to put all thoughts, memories, feelings, images, emotions, desires, fears into words and record it, to stabilize the words in front of ourselves to at least for a moment to be able to see what we contain and react to reality, ourselves - and develop actual, real self-intimacy and explore practical self-honesty and really being able to forgive ourselves for what we allowed and accepted to be.

Because within writing - the experience is stabilized by words - as how thoughts work: as words - what to we react - to words - how we communicate with each other mostly - by words - it is the relationship between words what create our inner reality what do not exactly reflect back the physical reality - and to compare the two - and to be able to let go what is not real, not here - it is a process.

And to take drugs one thinks, desires for a quick solution, a shortcut, a fast resolution from what is already manifested but it is not really a solution - a drug experience might give a glimpse for what is really going on but it is still within and as the mind - as the drug can only enhance the mind - so if the mind is not working - the drug has no effect - it is quite supporting to realize this, once one realizes it's truth - that if a drug has effect - then it is the mind - so then that should be understood and stopped.

And the solution is also mostly to slow down within - because we can think quite fast - but we do not understand it - however some thought pattern goes really fast and we jump to the same conclusions already without even realizing it - and with the drugs it might happen that one can slow down within and see this - but it also might happen that the thinking process is fastened - and then it is like lighting - and by that - one is mesmerized with the feeling of judging oneself that 'oh shit, how fast I am, I am light-fast' - and that is mind - and that is not real - but to realize it - and to stop it - takes guts and self-honesty but once the starting point is clarified, then the process of stopping can start.

Matti Freeman shared this simple method:
Where is my breath?
Here is my breath.
Where am I.
Here am I.

REWARD

Once one can realize that can not trust in the mind - regardless of tons of experiences, memories, knowledge and information - it is more simple - I stop as Self - and everything what still moves, moves me within - it is my mind what is the fractionated particle system of myself within I've lost as bouncing and friction through the delusion of polarities of the duality-based time and space of our mind. Embrace all of this as self as breath - then the unification is here - just have to realize and manifest it as the I as Self without the mind within constant presence - and whatever stops this consistency within - investigation, understanding, forgiveness and practical stopping is required.

The reward to realize that we can not use the mind for stopping the mind sounds also tricky for the first time - but to use drugs of mind to stop the mind is also ridiculous.
It's like stopping the war within with weapons of mass destruction.

Within so called 'psychedelic subculture' there are some pretty cool points what have been profoundly misunderstood however once one can realize that the solution is to stop the mind - that is the paranoia - and by drug - one's paranoia is either suppressed or strengthened - but if we dare to be self-honest - we can see exactly why in the first place we take the drug and what is the reason for not standing up within ourselves to deal with thoughts, feelings and emotions, what are really the sign of paranoia.

For instance that if you have shitty setting within - you do not take acid because you face shitstorm as the stuff just compounds the inner hell - but what if you had hell when you were child and even you forgot it, dig deep down under a pile of other memories to just not deal with it and with the stuff you open it up and hell will come anyway?

To establish what is real is simple by considering what is physically here - and with effected mind by drugs it might not be that simple  - but once one can realize it - the power of experience what never lasts as it has a beginning and has an end by condition of consciousness will not be that demanding to influence/direct oneself.

But to realize it is one thing - and to live it as self undefined, unconditionally, meaning: to walk through each stimulating condition within first, and to see how exactly is being created and simply stopping participating within one by one, breath by breath is the only process of self-realization.

[JTL 53] How Drugs Promote Paranoia Research Part 1

                Here I am starting an(extensive) Paranoia Research Series on 'How Drugs promote Paranoia'.

First of all I am bringing in the context of mainstream(establishment education system) sources about 'Paranoia' and then seeing it through Desteni and Self-honesty principles to establish a baseline for expanding the multidimensional manifestations of Paranoia in regards to: Drugs.

Here drugs meaning substances what alters the perception of the human's mind - specifically focusing on substances what are so called Recreational drugs, Psychoactive drugs etc(for instance marijuana, alcohol, LSD).
I am not judging the substance or the user either; I simply share what I find to be supporting and practical to let go any paranoia regarding to drugs to support myself and others within walking through beliefs/delusions/convictions what are in fact not real.

The Problem

Paranoia

Excerpt taken from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoia

                    Paranoia /ˌpærəˈnɔɪə/ (adjective: paranoid /ˈpærənɔɪd/) is a thought process believed to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs, or beliefs of conspiracy concerning a perceived threat towards oneself. (e.g. "Everyone is out to get me.") Making false accusations and the general distrust of others also frequently accompany paranoia. For example, an incident most people would view as an accident or coincidence, a paranoid person might believe was intentional.

    The word paranoia comes from the Greek παράνοια (paranoia), "madness" and that from παρά (para), "beside, by" and νόος (noos), "mind". The term was used to describe a mental illness in which a delusional belief is the sole or most prominent feature. In an original attempt at classifying different forms of mental illness, Kraepelin used the term pure paranoia to describe a condition where a delusion was present, but without any apparent deterioration in intellectual abilities and without any of the other features of dementia praecox, the condition later renamed "schizophrenia".[when?] In his definition, the belief does not have to be persecutory to be classified as paranoid, so any number of delusional beliefs can be classified as paranoia. 

Excerpt taken from: http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/15/1/40.full

 Similarly, others (Mirowsky 1983; Haynes 1986) have emphasised that paranoid thinking is likely to emerge in situations involving:

• ·         sudden social loss or isolation
• ·         acute disruption of usual social networks
• ·         exposure to environments in which previous social skills may not be useful, for example immigration or imprisonment
• ·         acute sensory deficits
• ·         actual powerlessness and victimisation.                          

What I emphasis here is this sentence:

                "Paranoia is a thought process believed to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion."

                and

                " the belief does not have to be persecutory to be classified as paranoid, so any number of delusional beliefs can be classified as paranoia."  

After doing some research within various publications it is not really clear what is paranoia - from what extent one can be referred as 'paranoid' - especially if I use these sentences with the common sense of 'any number of delusional beliefs can be classified as paranoia' - meaning

if someone is holding onto something what is not real is basically paranoia.

However within the World of Psychology this seems to be only relevant when a person cannot function as a 'normally accepted way as it is referred as civilized today':

Again taking a quote from: http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/15/1/40.full

    "Dimensional rather than categorical analysis seems especially applicable to paranoid thinking: ‘one person’s paranoia is another’s due caution, and one person’s trust is another’s gullibility … normal development entails learning that “not everyone who seems trustworthy is trustworthy’’ ’ (Blaney 1999: p. 343). Suspiciousness may be adaptive in certain environments, and determining how much interpersonal trust is appropriate in a given situation may indeed be a ‘vexing judgemental dilemma’ (Kramer 1998). Members of minority groups in particular may show defensive thinking that is understandable in the broader social context rather than being indicative of mental disorder (see later).

    An epidemiological study of a community sample in New Zealand found that 12.6% demonstrated at least some paranoid features (Poulton 2000), and nearly half of American college students report experiences of paranoid thinking (Ellett 2003). Thus, many people manifest mistrust and suspicion from time to time but because they are transient, modifiable and not significantly disruptive, such phenomena are not pathological.

    Clinically significant paranoid thinking may therefore best be conceptualised as an over-generalised form of a common and adaptive psychological process which, in its normal form, has some evolutionary value by facilitating the detection of threats to the self by other people. Conceptual models that emphasize continuity (although not equivalence) with normality may be helpful when attempting to engage people with paranoid personality disorder in treatment. "

So it does not seem to be exact just as math does (I am stating out that the education I came from is a different scene - I have a degree on computational science and I have paper of qualified bookkeeping and economy wherein it's all in the numbers and everything is understandable and reproducible to a certain degree by basic math and basically the simple equation of 1+1=2) - it is context- and group- and situation-based - meaning that mostly it is decided by the psychological or psychiatric institute when the person can be referred as paranoid - however mostly it is the case if one cannot function the way as we refer as 'normal'(can't do job to earn money for instance) or the person is harmful to others due to her/his specific behavior by paranoia.

I've quoted extensively to have a clear understanding how the current establishment seeing this only from the result of something what is only assumed and clearly not understood therefore the actual assistance and support for the individual is also varies based on the therapeuts ( see: MCQs: http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/12/6/404.full )

After Some years of my own Desteni and Self-honesty-based research, it is clear that the dimension/word paranoia requires a new and broader perspective what is focusing on the actual understanding of how and why paranoia is created through the mind based on inner and physical experiences and how Self-dishonesty is exactly involved within the steps of creating our own-paranoia and how to actually assist and support oneself to understand/overcome/stop/transcend it.

So quoting another, relevant source on this:

Creation’s Journey to Life: Day 395: Paranoia: the Home of Human Reason – Part One

    "We are now at the Beginning stages of Placing into Context one of the Mechanisms that Influence Everyone’s life on Earth without Anyone being Aware of it - these Mechanisms are Not Yet Understood or Even Researched.

    So First we have to Place into Context and into Relevance the Structural Design of What we are Looking at when we are looking at Paranoia.

    Paranoia is Just a ‘pretty word,’ Meaningless in a way because Conveniently anything that seems to be ‘Abnormal’ may be classified as Paranoia, so it Needs to have a Word that is More Specific. Paranoia comes from the ‘Para-Noise’, the Paranoise comes from the Paranormal, the Paranormal comes from the Parapsychology and the Parapsychology is the Study of ‘Strange Events’ . But Not really – it is just Studying things that you Cannot Really Physically Touch like Ghosts and Thoughts, because Thoughts are like Ghosts: they are here now and then they’re Gone - in a Few Hours You Will Not be able to Remember the Exact Thought you had, you’ll be able to say “I Thought About” but You will Not Be Able to Recall the Exact Thought and Have it in Exactly the Same Way – also when you are Thinking about Something and Specially during the stage of the Developing Paranoia, the Thought will Repeat itself but In that Process, the Thought will Develop. So the Thought will be Changing and Progressively become More Obsessive and It Will Move You as the One having the ‘Paranoise’ the Paranoid Thought more and more to the Center of the Thought Convincing you that ‘the Thought is Right’ and you will so Change even Your Memory Eventually Claiming that ‘You are Right.’ It is a Fascinating thing that this Happens over and over and over again – and yet, our Psychology is not yet Researching this - it has not even Categorized it correctly because in a way Parapsychology is the Study of the ‘Thought Mind’ – that means Things like Paranoia, because it falls in the same Category as Conspiracy and Ghosts and in the same category as ‘Life After Death’ because it all falls within the things that You Cannot See.

    Paranoia particularly Induced through Thought and thus through Memory and thus through Vision – Television, Stories, Conspiracies, Education – that is all Paranoia, that is all Parapsychology because You Can’t Really Touch it. When that Paranoia becomes Physical, it becomes Psychological because it then would Become a Possession for Real where the Person for instance Believes ‘They Speak to Angels’ or ‘They Speak to their Loved Ones’ or ‘They Speak to JF Kennedy’ whatever ! The Fact of the Matter is that At this Stage, the Whole Preparation Stage that normally would have Happened through Meditation, through the Parapsychological Time-Frame of the Mind would be Forgotten."

            
                Within Absolute Self-honesty paranoia is when one is speaking to oneself through the silent advocate: the backchat, the inner dialogue what is called: thinking.

                One is not directly involved with the actual (physical) reality, because it is being disregarded for a moment(and for another moment) by listening to: thoughts about what is going on.

                This is commonly 'referred' as normal: the threshold is only from there where from ones can not live their 'desired' life regardless of being abundant on external resources: one is screwed from within because Paranoia is blocking the way in the pursuit of experiencing happiness.

                As the human mind is not yet understood, how (and why) actually we think and what is the source of it and what is the consequence for it - we can only assume and use models what with the modern psychology is only available to use it for specific interest: for instance in the corporate/government/military sector to filter out applicants who seem to be untrustworthy for giving specific tasks because of imminent signs of paranoia.

                There is actually quite some amount of other Paranoia-related research is being published continuously, so I am focusing this one towards to Drugs now.

Drugs

                Because it is clear that Drugs alter the Mind, within the Paranoia is born as well - and if the mind is already has been set towards paranoid tendencies - the drug might pronounce, enhance or even create paranoia within one's mind - what is clearly the starting point of the human's behavior, expression.

                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug

                                       " A drug is a substance which may have medicinal, intoxicating, performance enhancing or other effects when taken or put into a human body or the body of another animal and is not considered a food or exclusively a food.

                        Recreational drugs are chemical substances that affect the central nervous system, such as opioids or hallucinogens.[4] They may be used for perceived beneficial effects on perception, consciousness, personality, and behavior."            

                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recreational_drug_use

                    “The concept of "recreational drug use" is that a person can use drugs recreationally or otherwise with reduced or eliminated risk of negatively affecting other aspects of one's life or other people's lives. Advocates of this philosophy point to the many well-known artists and intellectuals who have used drugs, experimentally or otherwise, with few detrimental effects on their lives. Responsible drug use becomes drug abuse only when the use of the substance significantly interferes with the user's daily life.”

                There are drugs what are legal(and even promoted by) establishment and there are what are illegal(even life sentence in prison or death penalty).

                If one has not understood one's own mind and how thoughts are created and why - it can happen that one goes after the experience of the drug without considering these limitations within the current system and might face being caught up by possessing or consuming specific 'blacklisted' drugs and facing serious punishment - and fearing from that to happen obviously can cause quite some Paranoia within one's mind and influence her/his and surroundings life.

                The problem is NOT the Drug - it is the human's relationship with the drug - and to decompose and understand what is really going on requires Self-honest investigation based on Liveable principles such as Equality and Oneness within practical understanding both the Paranoia and the Drug situation as well.

                The problem is that as mostly humans do: accepting how we are currently manifested and the way we behave - regarding to drugs as well - and never questioning the simple and powerful question what with we can use common sense for an obvious solution: What is best for all?      

                Watching this outstanding Interview with Marlen Vargas Del Razo - it is obvious: Why do even need using drugs in the first place? Drugs - a view less seen

                Without understanding it - we are band-aiding the problems causing by as we humans consume drugs and taking refugee within experience, more than actual reality here.

                What are risk factors for paranoia with drugs usage by this page:

                    "People with mental health problems use drugs or alcohol for the same reason as anyone - feel better, relax, have fun or be part of a group. While the immediate effect of drugs may give relief from some symptoms of mental illness (such as paranoia or hearing voices), when you stop taking the drug, the symptoms actually get worse. Problems commonly linked to drug use are depression, paranoia, anxiety and panic attacks.”         

      The same source states:

“Key points to remember

    Drug use can trigger a mental health problem or make an existing problem worse. The results can be serious or even fatal.

·         Use of meth/amphetamines (including ‘Ice’) can trigger psychosis or delirium (mental confusion). Regular use may lead to sleeping problems, anxiety or depression.

·         Cannabis worsens the symptoms of existing mental health problems and makes you more likely to develop a mental health problem, especially psychosis, in the long term.

·         Cocaine use can cause depression, anxiety, paranoia and panic attacks, as well as psychosis.

·         Ecstasy use can cause personality change, memory loss, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, nervousness, hallucinations, tiredness, paranoia and depression in the short term. Depression is also common when the effects of ecstasy wear off.

·         Heroin is highly addictive. People with a mental health problem who use heroin are likely to make their symptoms worse and also limit the effectiveness of any treatment.”

           The problem comes here when the individual is NOT aware of one's mental(dysfunctional/delusional = SELF-DISHONEST mind) condition.
              
                This is going to take some time to draw a practical walk for such disregard for physical reality by celebrating experiences by substances planting/causing/manifesting mental disorders which through one is not only dysfunctional for one's own pursuit of happiness, but directly being involved being responsible for accepting and allowing such a system what we are facing today what is promoting only the experience of the ones who has some value(money, knowledge, power) by disregarding the others and causing poverty, starvation, epidemics, war, child-abuse and the destruction of the environment, animal kingdom, and the whole living ecosystem of the planet.

                The individual's apparently invisible but direct responsibility for such a system is not obviously experienced as how the system has been built up from scratches since very-very early times of human 'civilization' - however applying a certain degree of self-honest investigation based on common sense can unravel to which extent in fact we are all must be changed in terms of stopping the inner 'perceived' self/reality in order to be able to realize the actual - physical - reality wherein the problems are clearly visible only for those who are able to see.

                And paranoia is such a mental occupation which by anyone can be busy chasing ghosts within - without real practical solutions.

      The Solution

                The way to see within one's mind which is coming from paranoia and which is related to actual physical reality is Self-honesty and practical tools to be walked by consistent, common sense-based appliance.

                To understand the reasons and starting points of taking drugs which through people delude themselves with specific paranoia requires time and effort but there is assistance and there are many who already walked through and transcended extensive amount of drug abuse. Many of these people write blogs daily within the Journey To Life group and have made visible practical walk by the tools of Self as Self-forgiveness, Self-corrective statement and Self-commitment within Self-honesty and these people are aware of the starting point and the consequence of their delusion and they are in fact able to assist and support within Self-honest walk out from Paranoia if one is ready and willing to give up the past what to one is holding onto inherently.

                I have an extensive personal experience of enhancing my mind consciousness system as thoughts, feelings, emotions by certain specific drugs which through I've created beliefs and the religion of (perceived) self what proven to be not real and even believing such thing seems to be now just a result of paranoia.

                So I will start to expand the Paranoia and Drugs dimensions from my own experiences based on using substances with what I've extensively altered my mind such as hallucinogens.

                I've walked quite some path on this topic and even here within this blog and especially my blog series as JTL(Journey To Life) but from now on I will bring it on with the perspective of the dimension of Paranoia.

      The Reward             

                To let go of paranoia, especially what is strengthened by drugs can assist and support one to establish integrity, self-confidence, stability and consistence within a self-directive, self-willful way - what is then can lead a healthy and self-honest life within one can consider not only self but others as well equally and that is the seed from we can birth real life from the physical within what we all can explore our greatest life-potential to the utmost degree without all kinds of paranoia simply by directly being here and disregarding what is not real and only supporting that is best for all.

To be continued…