[JTL 35] Difficulty: When I am suppressing?

DIFFICULTY:

To see when I am suppressing and when I am not reacting to already manifested consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define difficult at times to see the difference of what to do regarding to not suppressing the shit verus not reacting to already manifested consequences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from consequences of suppressing emotional supressions within that trying to stop manifest more consequences by being aware of what I am doing and how I am responsible for manifesting more consequences what I fear from suppressing again.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that within suppressing emotions(to make sure it is not misunderstood in this context, specifically referring emotions as negative energetic movements - in opposite towards positive feelings) to experience feelings in order to remain the fine-tuned happiness-seeking organic robot machine - I am trying to play a some sort of superhero consciousness like taking all the hits and bullets into my body, shaking for a moment then by absorbing just acting like not happened except the moment it hits and going forward where I decided to go without applying common sense.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that what I decide I play that I am bound to that - regardless of what is common sense and in fact what would be the best for all(participants).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always try to do what I decide and it is what I want and what I want is what I will manifest and that's it and within that I try to superimpose my want into physical reality - and if it will not work - then I will face the consequences - and not realizing that absorbing emotional storms into and as my human physical cells is not the solution because only being aware of the emotions for a moment and in the next I am apparently clear - however not being aware of that by actions I manifest physical consequences not only in my body but in reality as well what can not be changed once it's done.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to slow down and remain here to be able to see within myself what I am doing and why in every moment of every breath therefore allowing myself to be occupied within reactions and wondering about is it right what I do or what would be the best way to do meanwhile within physical I continue deliberately
-remain not sure that what I do is suppressing or
-just being busy 'proving myself to not react to already manifested consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that when I do not react to something what bothers me, it will immediately be removed from my life and I will be free and not realizing that I must change within completely and I must direct my reality as equal as one without inner reaction and where is uncertainty, self direction within absolute self-honesty is lacking.

EQAFE support on absorbing and suppressing versus realizing within and as the physical:

When and as I am not sure I am doing what really I want and finding it difficult - I stop, I breathe, I let everything go and if it keeps coming back, or I see that I shall write it down and work it through with self-honest writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements and self-commitment - then I am already clear what I am going to do and I am allowing myself to enjoy to explore self-honesty within such action without any condition, energy, reaction.

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