I have too much desire to breath properly. What is obviously comes from past.
Mind became the directing principle instead of life. Life just breathes. Mind has ideas about breath.
Breath is no idea. Breath is practice. Breath is life. Breath is unpredictable. Mind wants to set breath to be controlled. Breath is not mind. Mind is not breath. So the problem is choice.
Breath or mind. Mind or breath.
I more likely am mind than breath. If I see it from the perspective of mind - shit.
I am not mind, so even I do not have to care about the perspective of the mind.
Or it is just about now I am 'more' (fuck) aware about how many(lol) times(haha) I decept myself to be not just breath as moment.
I am influenced really(literally) by the knowledge, and experience what I went 'trough' what I desired, what I wanted, what I got.
I have many words what are just pictures, and those pictures I am not living, just I formed habit, paths to use those to not experience moment just by breath.
I am the directing principle as onness and equality. That is the awareness. Onness and equality.
Strange stuff to be just a typewriting force and even to not know (knot now) what I write. Because I start to trust to just type what comes, to be trust what I act, even if I do a shit loud shout out from the window, and if I could do that, that would the example of moment, but I just wrote it here, and did not do.
So very strange to be breath and just be what I am doing. And actually I am doing this and NOW I remember this could happen when I was "high" by marijuana, but that was a system, that was a conditional system 'boost' to prove by shyt-stem that marijuana is cool, but I was like ' that shouldnt be cool', so I did not do, I did not allow to experience myself that, that was in that time also S e p a r a t i o n (big letter!) so I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from infinite moment, as breath.
I am joy and I am not conditional, but as I see myself I see my lithty system separation automatizations what are not me, but was part of my realization, and now I am becoming unified and unifiedness is so cool, because I am all. I am my world. I am onness AND equality. One and equal with all. With my systems, with all people, with all nature, with all interdimensionality, with all beings, with all things, with all what I wanted to be one, and I always was/am, just are patiently 'waiting' for me and all as one and equal to experience that moment by moment as life as breath.
So I have tendency of stopping breath, like for a moment i take inbreath and as I have the knowledge or information, my breath 'freezes' as information comes up to overcontrol my beingness.
That is very strange, sick, and even can be painful at my lung, and I am very grateful because I wanted to find a method, a procedure, a significant query about am I moment, am I deceiving myself. And by Self-honesty I see myself as I say yes, it is here, it is my phisical body, my human vessel, my wholeness, my onness and equality machine, and now it is says hey tala you should
you should YOU SHOULD be breath, just put out more shit from your past, write out, purify all your words, one by one, even if one takes many days, NO OTHER WAY and INEVITABLE.
I am directing myself as me as life and I am understand how my yawnings are just my self-dishonested 'nested systems'. The words are playful, sounds and that is power, to be known the true decepted nature of the mind. To be able to stop. To be able to direct. As me as others as one as equal as breath as life as onness and equality.