Sunday, April 27, 2008

Sister scripter

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to thing more special than my sister Kata.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define my sister less than myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to abuse my sister trough words and phisical pain.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to exert my anger torwalds to my syster.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed my anger and anxiousness and my sister was the one who I definied as human target because she had no power of me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to program my sister to being less than me.
I forigve myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not being absolute honest with my sister as the moment of myself as me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to try to escape from my sister.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from my sister.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not taking responsibliity for my sister.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to behave with my sister as who knows everything.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to cause pain to my sister trough saying her that she is ugly and fat.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate me from my sister.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself that I separated me as my sister from myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to let my sister alone.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel guilt about let her loss in the system.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to not assist my sister unconditionally as me as one and equal when she asks or she requires to meet.
I forgive myself that I never allowed to love her unconditionally.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become the ego of the mind and forgeting that fact that when she was born I loved her so much and hugged and kissed.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be jealous to my sister about the attention from parents to her from me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become this attention needer little energy vampire.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myselt to forget myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not allowing myself to breath as life as me as my body as one and equal as me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the responsible of my sister's misery.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to wanting to carry other's burden what is not really me.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to forgive myself what I have done.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to let other to forgive themselves.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to let other to forgive me.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to become this mind consciousness system.

She just called some days ago and will visit me if her plan does not changes, but actually just wants to jump up to me to speak with me and as I am aware about this, she could be in very big shit if she dares to do this as she always definied me as a strange boy who always thinking about death and strange things. But that is also my definition.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that my sister actually is thinking about me as who is always thinking about death.
Death is not real. As we are already dead, so let's birth life from this phisical.
Breath here
I breath here
I breath here
I breath here
I breath out
Hold
I breath in
hold
I breath out
hold
I breath in
Hold
I breath out
that's it
that is the placement what is me and even does not matter the price what my mind definied to being able to remain this silence breath and
look this is another point as i am breathing in and hold and breath out and breath in and breath out after hold and breath in and hold and no other but still experiencing this keyboard and as I write this a slightest movement occures as definition about keyboard
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hold for a sec to definie keyboard and fingers as separated entities as definier definition and definied and that is the basic trinity of separation of mind consciousness system what is not really me but at this moment I formed this habit to operate this for not wanting to be the presence of me as who I am as self-response-bility as who I am as oneness andd equality as life.
I breath in
I hold
I breath out
I hold
I breathi n
I hold
I breath out
I hold
I breathj in
I hold
I breath out
I hold
I breath In
I hold
I breath out
breath in
hold
breath out
hold
breath in breath out
no need more if yes than is an unconditional self-forgiveness to release this bound.

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