Just now I realized how extensively I grimed myself with many definitions to not being here with and as myself as the moment as breath.
How and why?
And while the spiritual/psychedelic part of my life what happene? I found my definitions in and as me and I had problems with them...and some of them just simply disappeared as my applications and movements changed, but the most are remained, but the trick is just comes here: I defined another definitions to theese 'basic' definitions to
-to trying neutralize them with another definitions
-to trying to implant another definitions to equate that to an another direction
-to trying to handle situations with a well configured and programmed problem-solving reaction system
-to trying to forget the definition's definitions (definition's definition's.....) trough supression, fear, by simply another "automatic definitions"
And by this I've became an AI(artificial intelligence), well professionally I learnt to define and by definitions to develop little definitionbased geometric system placements and by theese I've built up a complex mind consciousness system, until the point where it as me could operate in this world consciousness consctruct. And it is possible Strange, but yes, I did. I definied everything what I needed at the moment to hide from the simple aware REAL moment to not needing to face with self with me who I really am and became...
Interesting but it is the end. Now the deprogramming of systematic I of consciousness is here.
Just simply because I am not this. I am not system, I am not definitions. I am the source of this, but this source is what and who I am and now this source is just stopping for a moment. Stopping to participate in this consciousness to hide until I am not here in every moment infinitely.
So I start here:
lying: I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word lie.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define lying as being tired.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to defined lying as being sleepy.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to determine me as tiredness or sleepyness automaticly when I lie down.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from awareness.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define lying as thinking.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define lying as mindwork.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not breath here simply when I am lieing.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to lieing as sleeping.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear of getting cold when I am lieing on the ground.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from falling asleep when I am lieing.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear of not having the ability to stop my thoughts when I am lieing.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from being with and as me when I am lieing.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not being one and equal with and as my phisical body when I am lieing.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear from falling out from my body.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not being aware when I am lieing.
Interesting to see in english the lie is like lieing on the ground and lieing to somebody is same...
But theese were about the first, but when I am here...
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be conditional in my self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to lie to others as me to hide or to being accepted.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to lie to others just because of my definitions about them or about what I say. I give the possibility to myself to speak directly as what is inside, that is outside. Simplicity as inner silence is my location breath by breath.
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