[JTL 137] Slowing down part 2

Latest Self-support from Desteni farm:

• Practical Desteni: Quantum Time and Physical Space-Time Equilibrium
• Creation's journey to Life: Stimulation – Thy Rod and Thy Staff - Part 2

After a long ranting and raving, I continue walking Slowing down:

I've finished how I see myself compromised with the idea of freedom and the actual freedom - and if I am not fully present - it happens automatically, meaning for instance thinking that one who has no home is free to go anywhere however it is not likely if one as no money, so then a thought comes that: freedom: travel anywhere: only if money: I do not have that much money: I should have reason why I do not have - and more reactions can come and all is some sort of inner friction.

As Joao Jesus expressed it in music: "Only I can change myself" - check out his downloadable most excellent music at EQAFE:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I do not actually change, but I constantly prove myself having the ability to change, with I actually change but not as directly as I could.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself within being able to change, whatever I behave like based on decision, motivation and direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use energy to change, to stimulate myself with energy to change, and not realizing that without the energy, I stop changing, I stop myself, I am dependent on energy, it is not directly who I am but according to stimulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to prove myself being able to change instead of directly change myself without any inner reaction, any doubt, worry, fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define perfection according to a feeling I've defined myself to feel when I expose my senses to art.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define values according to feelings I have being stimulated by vision, hearing, touch, taste, smell.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that all I've ever existed that I've defined who I am and limited myself to only defining myself to be who I am according to actually what I did.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that for self-judgment I've defined myself who I am to be able to have a feeling reaction about myself as positive or negative or neutral and participating within society I defined what is good and bad based on these feelings.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I compromise my direct sensing by automatic, apparently 'free' associations towards experiences however in fact these are automatic.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that speeding up within with energy is not means that myself actually speeding up but the self-accepted self-definitions as information flows to not needing to face what is here undefined, without prejudice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having definitions, judgments, thoughts, backchats about things, persons, events, objects in my reality as good, great, cool because believing that it helps me to decide what I want based on conclusions I made in the past for instance thinking is cool because making me smart and never investigating what it is exactly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define thinking as cool because believing that makes me smart and not realizing that the existing fear I accept that without thoughts I am not smart enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry to not having energy, to not feel energetic, to not be able to direct myself regardless of energies which I feel in my mind such as thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that slowing down within when thoughts start to move, to breathe and present myself literally here within physical and direct myself to disregard the thoughts and understand the dynamics of thought, the origin of the thought, the solution physically to prevent the thought emerging and allowing myself to be possessed with.

An example of such thought:

I have no time, I do not have enough money for buying time to do what I really want to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I do not have enough time for what I want to do and not realizing that time is attention I give to what I prioritize.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use justification that I do not have enough time and money to move effectively and using this as excuse to not walk through my self-defined, self-accepted, self-created limitations in order to not change, to not take responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within not taking responsibility for what I accept and allow in fact I allow myself to be inferior towards creation here therefore I use feeling inferior reaction to accept self-limitation until I do not realize I must face and stop reacting and direct myself to let it go.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to use effective timing and scheduling in order to not create friction and stress within about not having enough time and using polarities to define myself about how much I am limited by lack of time meanwhile in fact I simply do not use scheduling time within being overwhelmed, possessed, occupied with thoughts, feelings reaction what I've allowed myself to define as more important, interesting than the things I've defined as priority.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be aware of that there is an ideal imagination of myself who I want to be and there is an actual physical manifestation of myself and the two is not the same so by having the starting point and definition point of the ideal/imagined/desired self and the actual self and that already creates friction, energy which compounds, influences, directs me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myselt to think and believe that I do have to have an ideal self imagination to participate with without actually considering who I really am in and as the physical currently.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I've defined who I am according to personality based on the specific belief that I do need to move faster in my mind than physically and defining my reality based on the mind and disregard physical and not seeing that this creates friction, energy within me which cause feelings, energetic experiences, moods wherein I am completely obsessed with inner experiences while excluding physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a belief that I do require to speed up within, collect as much energy as I can with I can change myself, therefore to accept inner conflict and friction and turmoil seems natural because it will generate energies within what I've defined as being alive, moving faster, feeling energetic while in fact all what happens is that I overcharge my mind of thoughts, feelings, emotions which I've defined myself to be and not realizing that the source, the origin, the reality of me is here in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face and investigate, deal and practically stop each and every single entry of my self-accepted inner speeding up within what I do not realize how each inner reaction is programmed to stimulate the next within what I am constantly occupied and in fact lost within consciousness as perceived knowledge and information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that expressing mysef within physical breathing I am actively moving myself here as beingness and stopping myself as thoughts, energetic experiences.

I forgive myself that I have not realized and understood that stopping thoughts within does not make me less smart, but more present, constant, stable, therefore to have any excuse for why I allow thoughts freely rant in my head is not valid, only consciousness knowledge I use to tell me who I am while in and as the physical I exist as the flesh.

I forgive myself that I have never considered the physical beingness as the most direct, full and living expression of myself and believing that who I am is of consciousness, of thoughts and not realizing that I can exist without thought but I can not exist effectively within being occupied with thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to be self-honest with myself to the degree to realize that when I think - actually I worry, I fear and the thought pattern is the reflection of the inner fear of loss which I do not allow myself to see, understand, realize why and how I exactly manifest the speciftic thought pattern within as a result of energetic experience of perception of separation based on fear of loss.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to slow down within to the degree while breathing within and as physical breathing to see how thoughts are being triggered from what experiences and realize that in fact it is my decision to accept and allow this energetic experience within the belief that it is myself, that it is required for my living, that it is who I am and not seeing that each thought is the limitation reflection of the past.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to investigate Earth existence, people, ways and methods to realize that thinking is a con, wherein thought is the result of the starting point of existing within fear and inferiority in regards to existence, consciousness, ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight energies within the belief that I can dominate my energies to quiet them down and not realizing that within fighting I am split and whatever I do - I am not in equillibrium but of friction and the solution is to stop, stop participate, to let go, to breathe within quiet mind and disregard energy, judgment, fear.

When and as I see that I am moving faster within that I could see each movement within of why and how I react - I slow down, I breathe, I feel the physical, I sense my reality and I realize that it is not about how much or how fast I move within my quantum mind but in and as the physical here what is being shared with all other beings.

When and as I feel I do not have energy, I stop, I breathe, I realize I allow thoughts and feelings to tell me how and who I am instead of using common sense and realize my physical location and take responsibility for what I accept and allow, specifically to use energy of the mind of reactions instead of directly exist as physical.

-Resisting the physical as self:
(I suggest if you did not yet walked through this: God of Man: The Physical )

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, think that if I stop participate in the mind and I stick to physical here, then I am only an organic robot, a zombie, a machine within the belief that without thoughts, feelins I am not man and not realizing that who I am as man is not because of thoughts, feelings, emotions but who I am physically here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, perceive that the physical is less, lesser, less important, relevant or valid, real than the consciousness mind energetic experiences and never slow down within to the degree and be self-honest about it to realize: the source is the physical, the consciousness is dependent of the physical.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that existing within the starting point of consciousness, such as energies, emotiones, feelings, love is not valid as accepts and allows abuse in and as the physical in beings, humans, children, women based on knowledge and information being superimposed to the flesh what must be stopped by a process of self-realization of investigating and releasing all points which are not relevant within practical, effective, life-supporting existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more powerful, smart, wise, ethernal or anything what feels good within and as consciousness by thoughts, feelings, emotions and not realizing that it is not real and when the body dies, consciousness stops as there is no source, energy-source to supply anymore, therefore to disregard physical means disregard real life, to accept abuse on physical level in this existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not learn how to exist within and as the physical and how it is in fact much direct and real living when not using mind consciousness to tell me who I am, to not having thoughts to echo back who I supposed to be.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that the Self-realization means to be able to stand within and as the flesh within this existence but not of this existence, to exist within consciousness systems, but not of consciousness systems, to embrace the mind and understanding it, but not participate in it, meaning stopping the addiction of thinkinig, feeling, desiring, worrying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to slow down within by using thought-reaction energy and wanting to bombard, shock, overcharge my mind in order to stop instead of realizing that slowing down is physical process and to each and every inner reaction what comes up automatically can be understood and stopped one by one.

When and as I do not feel the breath physically - I realize I lost presence, I stop, I physically re-align myself as being here, breathing, slowing down within, letting go of patterns within and realizing: I am actually here, as touch, as feel, as smell, as presence.

When and as somebody states that consciousness, mind, energy, feelings are important, greater, superior, more real, more cool than the physical - I stop reacting within - I stop resisting to argue - I realize it is not about what I talk or feel, but what I act in and as the physical, so I realize it is about living an example of starting point as the physical as life.

When and as I see that someone is stating that physical is just lesser I do not go into reaction, I realize it is the being's individual process what I face and who I am is what I express, so I am presence, direction, physical expression here.

When and as I worry that someone would disagree with me that being the physical as more relevant instead of consciousness - I realize it is obvious, I do not have to prove it - rather than I can see what points I allow being triggered within and I take responsibility to stop it and if I see appliable - I speak up naturally, I express how I see the point to assist and support myself and others as well.

When and as I see that I can not explain what I see, understand, realize - I slow down within and I realize I can only simplify and slow down within and express who I am within self-honesty and not allowing any point within to oppose, argue, prove or persuade anything and when I see the impulse to do so - I realize I am not present but of thoughts, feelings, worry, separation, polarity - so I stop, I slow down within, I let go all what I experience and I simply focus to what is here, what is common sense.

I commit myself to find practical ways to slow down within and realize that it is my starting point as life and when I do compromise my inner quietness I commit myself to apply the tools provided by desteni to support myself to re-align myself with flesh of life which is who I am and take responsibility for.

to be continued

I suggest if you are not aware of these tools and how support and assist ourselves to check out Desteni I Process Lite free online self-direction course to get familiar with the Process of Self-forgiveness, which is actually the act of god: to understand and take responsibility for our own creation and have the ability and actually do change ourselves according to what is good, not only for self but for all. Investigate solutions what claim to be 'what is best for all' - do not trust anything by default - just as Jesus suggested, "investigate all things and keep which is good".

[JTL 136] Slowing down within part 1

Desteni I Process LITE free Course for Self

Re-establishing regular blogging.

To not write daily was not decision, the decision is to write continuously.

To prevent accumulation of self-acceptance I commit myself to walk the 7 years of Journey to Life. Find out more about Journey to Life here in this video:

So first: slowing down.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that when I am not slowed down within, I am not aware how the mind moves, influences, directs me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized when I am not aware how the mind moves as following it without question.

I forgive myself that I have not realized the common sense to slow down within until I am not aware how I give permission to the mind to influence, move me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized all the dimensions I am existing within what makes me move faster than being aware of what exactly I participate within.

I forgive myself that I have not realized why I have the tendency to move fast within by energy, thoughts, feelings, emotions.

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to be possessed with the idea of moving fast, speeding up within based on a worry, fear that I do not move fast enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not differentiate moving within and as the mind and moving within and as the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have not applied self-forgiveness, self-correction, self-commitment when I am aware of that I exist as the mind, moving as the mind, meaning being lost within consciousness as ideas of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that what I really want is to stop participate in the mind requires constant, consistent application.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I can rest, stop applying from the inner slowing down, stopping to push, physically apply within the belief that I can exist within polarity of applying myself and then not instead of realizing that I can change to be the constant, consistent application of stopping.

This is not yet specific, I go down with the actual physical participations.

I commit myself to continue writing Journey to Life as it is supporting and assisting me and others as well to walk from the mind-starting point to actual physical life starting point.

I commit myself to walk through the points I see within myself as self-dishonesty what I take responsibility for to stop and correct within absolute Self-honesty.

The energetic experiences what to I react - to lack of energy and tiredness - not stopping what makes me tired in and as the mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions but using thought patterns, reactions, feelings, emotions to feel energetic and overcome the already manifested energetic tiredness.

I forgive myself that I have not been allowed myself to be self-honest with myself to the degree to be able to see when I am as the physical is tired and when I am tired of the mind as self-definition as feeling lack of energy.

Also negative, positive: how much I give permission to the mind to feel good when something happens what I've defined as good.

For instance when someone smiles at me what I perceive as kindness, positive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel positive and good when someone smiles at me by thinking, believing, feeling that I am being liked, I am good, I am alright regardless anything else than the fact that someone smiled at me, disregarding all other facts existing here.

Energetic tiredness from energy taking away from the body to the mind - and when feeling tired, wanting to 'extract' more energy from the body to the mind.

Energetic excitedness by entertainment, which is stimulation. Check the writing on Creation's Journey to Life about Stimulation to get perspective.

Within this end of december I allowed myself to go to the enertainment stimulation even with the price of disregarding commitments, which then I reacted to as a some sort of compressed energetic experience of shame which I've suppressed more with more entertainment, especially watching movie, playing computergame, going out with people and already being aware that by disregarding what I've decided to do deliberately will cause frustration and self-judgment.

Yet I was writing, not every day, but it was unfinished and the tendency to share only something which I value, see as some sort of 'perfect', so I did not share.

As Sunette pointed out recently, even when a point is not fully walked through - and to share that: is already movement, which I did not consider.

Also these points more likely seemed as random rantings as the next day I did not continue that point but wrote an other - which I did not fully walked through as well.

Self-correction on 'slowing down'

Starting with shame:

When and as I experience even the slightest shame, especially with the commitments I've decided myself to do and not doing so - I realize this will compound unless I stop reacting with shame which means I am exactly being aware what I should do, exactly being aware of what I do not do and judging myself with self-definition of shame instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that this is deliberate self-deception and will result to more shame and more self-judgment, more thought-pattern and inner reactions, frustrations, which will make me uncertain, unsure, doubtful and undermining self-trust.

When and as I am aware of which is the reason of shame within - I apply common sense and stop participating within what I react with self-judgment.

When and as I feel shame and not cool about not writing my Process blog within consistency, I realize the solution to stop the shame is to write my blog within consistency.

When and as I am not conistent within regular blogging, I stop judging myself, and I prevent creating shame by actually writing and sharing my blog.

When and as I worry, fear from being not understood, judged by those who do not wallk Process of Self-forgiveness, I realize this is actually assisting and supporting me and others within realizing responsibility to stop inner reactions, emotions and fears and focus to practical living, to be able to take responsibility for ourselves and others around us as well.

When and as I worry and fear from not having enough time to write my blog within consistency, I realize I fear from not doing something which is less priority my blogging, so I should schedule it and do it with self-direction without any inner judgment.

When and as I see/realize I accept and allow self-judgment - I am within in fear from not changing myself but energetically stimulating by separation of judging, judged, judgment and try to manipulate myself by the energetic experience to motivate me which is unnecessary and slow and in fact not practical.

When and as I see myself judging my writing and my blogging - I realize it is not self-honest, I stop the judgment and understand why I judged and I stop myself and breathe here.

I commit myself to slow down to a degree within to be able to be aware of all breaths, each, every single one and things coming up making me busy within to focus and react to - I investigate, understand and forgive and stop.

I commit myself to write my blog as much as I can, but at least weekly three, even when the post is not fully walked through, but sharing the movement and accumulating consistency.

I commit myself to take time to review myself within in terms of resistances and my relationship to commitment of blogging and vlogging(which is for the same reason) and use common sense and practical application to make physically able to write it and publish.

When and as I see that I have so much resistance to actually not share something - I share the fact that I have resistance for sharing and sharing that walk I walk through all resistances.

I will continue with commitments and self-forgiveness on slowing down within and on my prejudices about principled living vs delusion of freedom in relation to energy.

Check out Living Income Guaranteed
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Check out EQAFE Self-perfection audiobooks

[JTL 135] Resistance to change for driving

Within learning new skills I find Self-forgiveness extremely assisting within realizing and releasing the patterns which block the new skills to be effectively learned.

Currently: learning driving car in traffic.

There are some points I specifically 'address' such as fear from causing accident which originates from childhood memories when I have been slightly hit by car and similar situations when I reacted.

As well I've always defined myself as not being fully present and accepting myself so was obvious that within driving I have to be present and directive all the time which I've defined I am not really capable of, more specifically: not even wanted so.

After started Desteni I Process, I realized the key is constant and consistent presence here and that starts through writing, Self-forgiveness, Self-changing within understanding, I've seen throughout the years that I am changing, I am becoming more calm, present and comfortable being here which brought the possibility to learn driving.

Another aspect is that I always feeded 'negative' reactions towards cars, specifically their stink so not really wanted to 'have' the responsibility to make the city to be more stinky, especially when seeing infants with mother and feeling the smog usually made me react to become angry and thinking it is not fair and I'd rather just wait for having car until it is not fueled by petrol.

That was an other layer to walk through and see what is common sense and what is self-deception in order to not needing to change to be able to trust myself for not causing accidents.

Also for some decades I've programmed myself to completely ignore traffic signs and not being aware of the traffic which now I am stopping as well.

So let's open it up with Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, define myself as not present, not being here, always flying, always daydreaming, constantly reacting, thinking, feeling which accumulates me to not being aware of what is here around me because of the constant occupation within my mind who I defined myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my deliberate avoidance of being present here by believing who I am according to thoughts, feelings, emotions which I've defined worthy and cool to be occupied with, focus to and identify myself and not realizing that I am missing what is here, only perceiving it through the self-definitions, judments, reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it is alright and cool to occupy myself with thoughts, feelings, emotions within the self-accepted belief that it is required to operate within society, and to survive, to earn money I have to use and become the mind and never realizing that this is fear and based on fear I sacrifice my silence, innocence and actual presence.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that fearing from responsibility does not solves the point, rather I build resistance, reasoning to avoid it based on justifications and excuses and allowing myself to express so: I am not the directive principle here, I am only reacting automatically what I have accepted to become through the years I've been participating within the mind and never considering common sense to stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am as avoiding responsibility towards points what I've defined I am not capable of and I am currently unable to stand for and never considering the possibility to stop myself, change myself and actually explore what it means to be responsible for myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within allowing resistance towards cars, driving cars, participating within traffic: I am not self-honest as I do not see WHY I resist, I do not ask the question of HOW to stop resisting, WHAT I fear losing, which I do not stop, so allowing becoming the resistance equal as one and then identifying the resistance with who I am so then I do not have to wake up from my belief system to face all the fears I've allowed to influence, direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear harming others, killing others accidentally when I am not present, when I am thinking, when I am reacting and rather avoiding the situations where this could happen than disciplining and changing myself.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that allowing myself to accept any fear I will become the starting point of fear and by that I will manifest myself who I am as starting point, no matter what I do - the fear I allow to direct me, instead of investigation, writing, stopping, forgiving, letting go unconditionally which is possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to be present all the time in the traffic as defining it as tyring, exhausting, boring, meanwhile I could do some other things for instance when travelling with bus - I can read or just watch the landscape without considering the traffic - "somebody else does that, it is not my responsibility" so then I do not have to face the fact that I avoid participating within traffic because of the fears I accepted and allowed to be part of my self-definition since childhood which I've defined as myself and never considered to stop and change.

To be continued...

Check out Journey To Life group
Check out EQAFE Self-perfection education
Check out Desteni I Process LITE for Learning Life-skills
Check out Living Income Guaranteed
Check out D.A.W.N(Demilitarization)

[JTL 134] Political forces Self-forgiveness

Most in my life I avoided politics, pre-defined it as not cool.

It is time to walk through these false pre-conceptions and re-align my definition of politics with life.

Walking Desteni I Process have assisted me to be able to study many areas within human systems, not only my past, my mind, my self-dishonesty but external systems as well.

There are great sources from one can start un-learn the pre-programmed bullshit from media, family and break the fear and start changing - and really learning how the systems what rule humanity actually work.

• http://warnomore.wordpress.com/
• http://livingincomeguaranteed.wordpress.com/
• http://livingincome.me/
• http://economistjourneytolife.blogspot.hu/

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that how politics work and how influence my life directly.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that political vote is a power what is being used for political forces around the globe but these political forces do not stand for all life equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and hope that the system stands and works for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe or perceive that I have human rights which is maintaned by anything.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that human right does not exist until anyone is being disregarded, rejected, killed in the name of anything, especially anyone else's human right.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I was simply lucky for birthing in a system within a family who had money, could maintain the poverty line and in fact many are unlucky for birthing in a situation wherein there is no any support, no food, no money.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that the political system is creating/allowing other systems on earth which disregard life, abuse life, destroy life in the name of itself such as economy, military, media.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that using or not using my One Man - One Vote is all my political Right I can have within the current system.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that I had judments about politics and based on those judments I missed what politics is really and did not see how and why I judged it automatically without understanding myself or the political system itself, only experiencing my own self-judgments towards politics.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that politics is an other manifestation of human existence on earth and separating myself from it, denying it or ignoring it does not exclude me from it's manifestations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame politics, political systems for being responsible for my- and other-s suffering.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that as politics is being used for voting for parties which do not stand for life, there could be political force what stands for life, all life equally.

I forgive myself that I have never ever realized the common sense to have a political force, party which can stand, stands and will stand for all life equally and will not be mesmerized, obsessed or stimulated by consciousness systems but always prioritizing first physical facts.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within my mind as I grasp, define, think, react, energize, feel and become emotional - then I am not here, I am of the energetic mind, which can not be trusted as it is just an experience what do not lasts.

I forgive myself that I have never considered what practically means to be able to support political forces which can and do stand and act for all life.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that my judgments towards politics, definitions, thoughts, reactions, emotions - are my creations and I can stop those by being self-honest and see the reason and forgive myself.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that politics is also a point what exists here as myself equally.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear from going to politics because of the immerse corruption which I feared from being influenced, fear of falling, fear of loss, fear of fear.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that knowing myself means I know what are my strengths and weaknesses and within seeing that I can prepare myself to stand and decide to stand unconditionally for all life.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that re-birthing politics as Life do require physical action, group-participation and practical application and by judging the current politics and waiting it for change will not solve anything so unless I do not move myself personally here - it will not become Life.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that any personal, spiritual, human development is absolutely useless and invalid if the person is unable to grasp the most practical common sense possible solutions, which would be the end of poverty, starvation, war, slavery, sexual- and child abuse. Until one is unable to face these things in a practical mannerism - is still walking only personal process, not interpersonal, not universal.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that it is imperative to develop a clear mind, a trust-able self and a consistent presence.

Otherwise one is facing memories, thoughts, not 'here'-ing what is going on directly.

I forgive myself that I have never considered politics, political forces as a solution for all before because being constantly busy, occupied within my head, mind with thoughts, feelings, emotions.

to be continued...

[JTL 133] Energy from resistance within hope

I do not have anything particular today to write about in this moment.

Today I will have an exam about traffic rules what I did not fully prepare for - I have learned quite some and I investigate here why I did not ensure the perfect knowing for the exam. My sister passed flawlessly and expects me to do similar and for me it is just an exam to go through in order to start learning driving car. Obviously I have to learn the rules to not make mistakes but somehow everyone says it is easy and no problem while I experience lack of motivation to learn it hours after hours, rather than I learn some and I try the exam and then if did not succes, then learn some more and try it again.

Seems like a hope that without lot of learning time I might pass and if so then it worths the try, otherwise I will try again, no rush here.

That is an interesting pattern, it can occur with things - that I start it and then I do not lose motivation, as I still want it - but I am not fully dedicated, the absolute commitment is not consistent for driving tests.

So it is a hope that without the practical application of consistent accumulation I will still get what I want, even when seeing that this is required for it.

With the hope that I am smart enough, I will get lucky for the right questions in the test, I might figure it out, and I do not have to do it the hard way, meaning sitting and learning each answer properly.

Will investigate this pattern more.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize how and why I manifest patterns what is not effective and allowing resistance towards understanding, investigating resistances within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest resistances within me and not realizing what I resist will persist.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to reckognize the pattern that I do not move directly but accumulate energy of tension about what I defined as important and then judging myself according to the action done versus importance of doing it as it should do and feeling conflicted, frictioned and by that accumulating energy with what wanting to engage it right, meaning after failing first, getting the energy of I need to learn more so by that actually do what was obvious from the first moment as requirement, but still allowing hope for not learning everything properly first of maybe I can skip it yet get what I want.

[JTL 132] Letting go Self-definitions from childhood films, movies

Continuing on the 7 Years of Journey to Life

Movie mind, what I have thought originally from movies as a child:

That man has to fight for woman and woman go to money and power and man go to beauty.
That man has to behave in order to have woman.
That man has to make sacrifice to have woman.
That woman are for keeping the race up and running with pleasure.

I can do extraordinary things physically - if needed - not really - one slip and one steeps for a month.
Extraordinary not means stupid and reckless.
Extraordinary with common sense.
Step by step, accumulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form ideas how a man should behave or woman should behave according to films, movies, series and thinking that is the role model for me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that even when not thinking that there is a role model for me on tv,movies - I experience it just as experiencing any living thing and then from my mind it is not difference that it is a memory from my own life or a memory watching it on screen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to behave, and do things what I have defined/thought as civilized in order to get women's attention, friendship, partership and only holding myself back within the belief that it is required to 'get' the woman just as in the movie, tv.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back in any way whatsoever in order to get something and not realizing that the compromise I make and become instead of just live opportunities directly without value, definition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, define and believe that women are for keeping mankind surviving and reproducing while man can have pleasure with woman or at least seeing and getting this idea from family, system, movies, films somehow.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that any definition, picture what I automatically do judge and react to is a reflection from my past trying to superimpose reality with opinion.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that each participants, such as women are equal part of the system and to use them as subject means I am not able to stand as equal as the system therefore I am inferior within the system in regards to it's whole.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that anything I react I can learn to do automatically within the believe that it is me meanwhile it is of thoughts, feelings, emotions energy of the mind which I've defined myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always turn my center focus to the woman being present as the most desireable, most valuable and attractive for me and behaving in relation to my thoughts about her and not realizing that by this I am not here as free but as of self-judgment, self-doubt, fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can do extraordinary things physically without common sense and not realizing that the physical is the real and it's laws are here constantly and within the rush and energy of experience forgetting all the wounds, mistakes I've made and then became injured - or thinking about these injuries and that's why not doing something, not because of common sense but because of fear from injury - so both ways: disregarding physical while going to opinion, worry, expectation, fear or recklessness, stupidity, foolishness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that when I do need, I can do extraordinary and defining myself like that and by that and using it as an excuse for not doing the utmost I can in every moment by thinking 'when I need, I can do more, but this time I do not need' - and manipulating myself into energetic states instead of directly living here undefined.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the most common sensical, practical way to accumulate is to act within consistency and not with energy but directly as physical.


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[JTL 131] Self-correction:Talking about Films, Movies with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and consider watching films and movies when people say it is good and I should watch it without using common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I felt left out when people were talking about a film I did not see and feeling I do not have context to go into the commnication and then feeling separated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to persuade people to watch what I have watched and suggest them to watch, just because I think it is good and it is my point of view and then later after they're watched it they might agree with me on it's 'goodness' and feeling cool together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a feeling of good whel talking with people about a movie what we watched and then remembering scenes and re-sounding it feels like cool and then we are occupied with it without being aware what we are doing as skipping reality and stimulate each other into a feeling of energy.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that all schemas, types, states of mind and feelings are inner separation systems to block direct reality from oneself to experience within the fear of needing thoughts, feelings, emotions to tell me who we feel how we feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form desire to watch specific movies just because by the review/trailer/other's talk it is the kind of movie I could enjoy and then thinking about it and be obsessed about it to just watch it meanwhile disregarding everything else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to praise somebody who has been acted in a movie and seeing her/him publically feeling great about seeing and thinking and reacting about the movie, and the person's role and how I enjoyed the movie and when I did enjoy it, feeling positive about meeting it's actor and the whole thing is just inflated feeling over my definition of value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that people who work in film industry are the kings and not realizing that it is just work they do and all day they push and it is not pleasant and thinking that they are special and unique just because the value I've put into the movie itself as makes me feel cool.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within thinking about a movie's aggressive part I am accepting aggression and I am thinking it is alright to watch it because looks and feels cool how it is showed meanwhile not realizing that it is programming fear to the watchers whether they realize it or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy talk about the funny moments of films together and feeling great about the humor just repeating it and then feeling this energetic connection with the others who also feel good about it.

When and as I talk about movies with people - I remain here, silent, directive and whenever feelings come - I stop, I breathe, I realize it is of self-definition of not being here, so I am re-aligning myself here, physical, presence.

When and as I se someone from a film crew, a film actor, I remain here, directive, use common sense - and if I want to do something with the person, I approach directly but still I remain silent, present.

When and as I am in an conversation about a film how specific scenes are cool feeling to talk about - I remain here and I see when is my reaction coming up and I let it go - I change myself and stop my automatic associations - I direct here the memory I am present, I am breathing.

When and as I worry I did not yet see a specific movie - I realize I can let go the reaction, the devotion for feeling and remain silent, directive - whether I watch it or not - it is just a film, movie I realize and I do not go into feeling neither positive or negative - I am breathing, I am here.

I commit myself to stop the feelings, thoughts coming up automatically regarding to films, movies when talking about it with somebody - I remain here, directive, I do not go into the experience that much that losing presence, breathing - I stop the reaction yet I am responsive, I am immediate, direct.

I commit myself to stop reacting to films, movies with thoughts, feelings and see them what they exactly are without opinion.

I commit myself to stop gossiping about movies films and have the feeling and the reaction towards it as positive as how cool it is and how cool to speak about people to have this feeling together while not realizing that I am timelooping within self-judgments instead of directly communicating about the movie without the energy of positive and negative.

I commit myself to enjoy directly movies or not enjoy them without judgment, without thoughts, feelings, emotions but directly, immediately undefined, within presence.

Check out some Journey to Life blogs:

• http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
• http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/
• http://humanitysjourneytolife.blogspot.com/
• http://crimesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

And many more:

• https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife

[JTL 130] Childhood desires from Movies, TV

 
Still decomposing TV, Movie - related mind activities to slow down, prevent and let go completely.
(see previous posts)

Read Journey to Life Blogs daily: https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/

What is Journey to Life?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am and what I want to do from movies, TV Series and defining it as a source from who I can learn who I want to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to live life as pictured in movies, TV films, comparing to how I perceive my life with the things I see on the screen and defining that desirable.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that the TV, Movie films are idealized and completely result of imaginacion and not related how real life is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire things to have when I was kid and did not enjoy my life, to dream about fullfilling myself with the things I've seen in movies and TV what I've defined as cool, as I need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire after having a hydroplane and fly over the ocean between islands just because I've seen it in movies, first time in a Bud Spencer movie and wanting to have that feeling to be able to just fly around among tropical islands.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being able to fly around tropical islands with a hydroplane as power, as richness, as fullfillment, as interesting and always dreaming about it and in fact never doing anything to manifest so it is purely an imagination to escape from what is here when compared to what I experience currently versus what I want to experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the temptation of the mind to feel, energize, think, visualize, imagine about things, points, events, objects, women what I've seen in movies, TV films and thinking about these as possible, preferable things to do if I would have the opportunity and never realizing that it is not who I really am but who I allowed myself to be programmed.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that to see something in a film, movie is alright but to be obsessed with what I see and think abouot it all the time is self-dishonesty as meanwhile more and more disregarding what I am currently within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, define that it is alright to allow such childhood desires and imagination within myself believing that it is part of myself and never considering the possibility that it was of fear, it was of separation when I allowed it to possess me, a feeling, an energetic experience what I have became addicted to re-and re-experience when things are tough where and as I live physically to have an experience of 'feeling good' to balance out the actually self-induced, manifested experience of 'feeling bad'.

I forgive myself that I have never ever considered to see/uderstand/realize that when I have an experience of 'feeling bad' - that it is not about how to balance out, to occupy myself with 'feeling good' as an automatic response but to see within, investigate, question myself that what is the reason that I have concluded to the point of 'feeling bad' and to PREVENT it is the solution without any inner reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire lot of things what I've seen from movies and wanting to, desiring to experience, just once in a lifetime at least to have a feeling that 'I am living' and not realizing, actually never understanding that 'really living' is not related to copy and experience things what I've seen in TV, Movies and defined as 'that is life' while comparing to what I 'live' as not really life and having the polarity and wanting to change the energetic charge, the feel of this self-judgment of 'how is my life'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memories with feelings associated to automatically come up within me without questioning and define and experience as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about memories, desires, what I've formed from movies, films and defining that as myself directly and not slowing down to a degree to be here and see that when I use that feeling and memory - I am not aware what is here, what is in and as my human physical body so it is a form of disregard what I define as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and become anxious when feeling like I have to give up all desires what I've formed since my childhood based on TV, Movies and not realizing that these are patterns what I've held onto to have an experience of feeling positive when I had the negative experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the existence 'system' works like I have to let go the 'subject' of my desire and for that I will get it anyway - and not realizing that I am trying to manipulate my feelings of what I want and hope that I get it some way I am not directing and never realizing that it is a feeling of hope what is energetically stimulating me to not act immediately, but wait, be positive.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that what I really want I have to do it myself directly, without hesitation, judgment and fear.

I forgive myself that I have never seen/realized/understood the common sense to stop the feelings towards what I want to experience in this life and actually let everything go and remain here as the 'I' simply being here without any knowledge, information, memory to define who I am.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that to get free of everything I experience as my limitation is simply let go everything I've defined and react automatically to.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within fear from not being able to fullfill, live and experience my life as who I've defined myself to want to live - I actually block myself into not act but feel in the mind with thoughts, energies and while being occupied like that - I am actually manifesting the pattern of not manifesting what I fear from not manifesting.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that my personality has formed based on desires from my early age and because I am not fully aware of all the desires, worries, fears - it is still of and as me as suppressed and stored in and as the mind what automatically uses it to reflect back equal as one my starting point as who I manifested myself to be until becoming aware of the pattern, understanding the conditions and be able to let it go, not react, forgive, stop, delete and remove from my beingness and remain here, undefined, physical directly.

When and as I experience a dream, desire to come up, or remembering a wish from childhood - I stop and I stop it and I see where it comes from and is it of movies, films I've seen and formed a reaction of I need that? And I let it go and I remain here - I realize the pattern and I prevent next time to come up by not reacting to it this time.

When and as I experience desire as separation but devotion to experience it - I realize I have allowed myself to define myself based on feelings, thoughts so I stop and re-align myself with being here, physical, direct, disregarding thoughts, feelings, emotions and I breathe - slowly but surely and I bring myself fully here by realizing that desire is of fear from past and I am here.

When and as I desire things what I have defined as I need to live, have, fullfill when I was child or younger - I realize in that particular time I have experienced the mind as my starting point and within that the separation, the polarity and the positive and negative was not real, but of judgments, comparison and fear so I stand here and I let it go and I focus to what is here.

I commit myself to stop defining, desiring myself based on, according to movies, tv films and all what I've seen as cool, preferable, I need that, this is who I am judgments coming up - I stop and I let it go and I remain undefined.

I commit myself to investigate all desires, fears, reactions within what I am unable to immediately directly understand, stop: to see how I have manifested such self-definition what comes up automatically and I use the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-correction to stop it as stopping myself to go 'in there' as feeling, thought and I stand here within breathing.

I commit myself to prevent myself to have desires and judgments, reactions, hopes when seeing movie tv from now on and whenever I feel like 'that's cool, I want that' - I realize it is automatic and I slow down and I use common sense - is it really practical and I want to be?

I commit myself to stop experiences to define who I am and forget myself and presence in and as experience - I breathe and I slow down within and I participate within experience, I am experience but I am not of experience - I am presence, here, breathing and experiences will come and go and I remain consistent.

[JTL 129] Self-commitment: Priorities and TV Series, Movies

I write Self-commitments for decide, to have direction and specifically about points give myself the clarity of what is my will what I am currently manifesting in action.

About Film, Movie watching - I made the habit to watch films, series and that was fun and watched through some some fun but as I am engaging towards production more seriously - I do need time - not just alone-computer-time but actually effective 'abstract' time towards people as well.

And movies are so long and most of them are clichee anyway - especially the action ones - it is enough to watch some of those in a year and the trend will change anyway.

About Fantasy I wrote before - and science fiction I still have reactions - especially some recent new movies - but they will wait for me and in that topic there is rare the really cool anyway, so that is irrelevant.

I would not be Self-honest if I would deny my affection towards films, movies - so that is why I write about it so extensively here - and each post is a puzzle within the whole picture.

There was also a moment when I decided to watch more movies - when the fast broadband internet and the torrent era came in - to just watch contemporary movies, to see how they manage the edit, the camera work, the grade, the acting, the effects - especially I enjoyed the WERK-films.

But recently I realize I kind of got bored of those anyway - I know everything what I wanted - no need to watch these more and in fact the most precious part of myself is the effective time I can apply to activities.

So then I even share what I commit to LIVE as myself, even from the very moment of writing it down - should be clear - secrets are of the mind and supports separation, hierarchy, fear - I do not need to hide any fears - I want to let go, transcend all fears.

So Self-commitments on TV-Series, Movies.

I commit myself to not be the slave of experience in any way whatsoever and always consider facts, physical reality and the direction I am walking.

I commit myself to not define movies, tv-series as a must to watch, I let go the need, the strive, the self-definition that I am this guy who likes to watch movies, learn, study, and see my reactions.

I commit myself to not get lost in the experience of watching Series, Movies - if I experience that - I stop, I breathe, I re-align myself here, constantly here, and still experience it - be aware of the mind, but not as it, not of it - I am here.

I commit myself to always consider my priorities when I want to watch movie, series - 'Do I have more important thing to do than watch movie, series?' and answer to that within absolute self-honesty.

I commit myself to stop all thoughts, feelings, reactions towards watching movies, series - which one I want to watch or which one not - I simply decide in the moment within the consideration of priorities, time, commitments.

I commit myself to remain here when I watch Series - even when the episode ends intensely - I consider - do I have time, is it practical to continue, do I have more important things to do? I watch an other just because of the tension, the intensity, the curiosity even when I have overdue scheduling?

I commit myself to be able to stop any series, movies at any time without any reaction, any thought, any feeling - I simply stop it and I am here and that was an experience and then the next one and the in one breath I am still here.

I commit myself to see my reactions when watching movies, series, what is coming up, anxiety, worry, curiosity, fear, desire - and I see is it relevant, is it practical is it really supporting me? And if not then I simply stop, let it go and I remain here within and as breathing.

I commit myself to stop defining some specific/ specific kind of films, movies as 'must watch' such as blockbuster science fictions, or action movies of some actors who I've defined as great before - I simply let all definitions go here - one by one and all at the same time - as it comes but I stop watching movies and series by default.

I commit myself to stop defining myself regarding to series, movies - stop comparing myself to actors, events, scenarios, plots from films, movies through throughts, automatic associations - I remain here, empty, clear in all moments and if something comes up as thinking, feeling - I stop, I stop it, I re-align myself to be here, directive, present.

I commit myself to stop all personality, consciousness manifestations, definitions, reactions, movements within and as me what is from films, movies to tell me who I must be, how I must be as I am clear who I am as presence, physical in and as here.

I commit myself to stop the desire to be in a movie, to live a life as being in a movie - I am here - undefined, physical, here.

 

There are much more important things to do than entertainment - and while doing that - there is still possible to enjoy movies but within Self-honesty: to be obsessed and lost in the experience of movies is unacceptable.
Especially when considering many humans, beings are being abused within the current economic, political system what is nothing else but the external reflection of our inner starting point, which can and will be changed - by accumulation of individuals who can consider new paradigms, establishments, systems within the living of a dignified life is guaranteed. That is not utopia, just check out there are actual steps of manifesting it within several countries, for a betterment of the human system itself.

It is obvious that the corporate and economic feudalism must be changed, and there are great places on the internet to be educated about the facts, the possible scenarios, discuss with beings who are able to consider more than Self-interest within common sense, which should be much-much more common.

So check out these sites where people discuss about possible practical solutions:

• Living Income Guaranteed

•  http://basicincome.me/

[JTL 128] Self-correction: Priorities and TV Series, Movies

As I write myself down - I slow down and I am able to see all details of myself - and see what is relevant, what is the best practical way to act and with Self-correction statements I give a structure, a momentary framework to assist myself with re-learning, re-adjusting, re-defining, re-aligning myself what I have realized within previous writing, Self-forgiveness.

This way I have the first layer in physical - as the writing - typing - about how and why and what I want to change - not 'just' change 'randomly' or 'feeling fed up and want to change but not entirelly sure what and how' - everything is here - in front of myself as the words - and then I live these words and then the written, spoken and the acting becomes one and equal.

So I had this experience of conflict within me in regards to movies, films, so I walk through it with these tools, what I have learned, still learning to live from Desteni I Process - and that assists and if one uses it within self-honesty: can overcome to most of the issues humans face in these days: doubt, desire, addiction, uncertainty, overwhelming thoughts, lack of self-confidence, fear, paranoia, mania - just write down each details within absolute self-honesty and apply self-forgiveness.

And within Self-forgiveness: I decide to change, I give a new chance to myself and writing it is already ACTION - which accumulates - and accumulating action leads to consequence: same way with deprogramming patterns of not efficient/self-interest and the same with re-programming self with efficiency/life-interest from the simplest tasks/details towards the most profound way of living simply using the words and stopping the reactions within but living them directly as self.

This way it is the most direct tool to understand our already manifested creation and stand up to it and become equal as one and realize facts and the starting point and see where the fear/worry/doubt/thinking comes up and realize how it is self-dishonesty - and then the commitment to stop it - and by stopping: One already starts explore what it means to live, slowly but surely.

So here I stop my automatic reactions and behavior towards movies, tv series and align myself with the direction I want to go. It seems superficial but there are some aspects of myself what are in fact already superficial but most of the people do not even realize it, not 'working' on/ 'taking the time' to investigate how one is already manifested behaving - and doing so - can realize the starting point is tainted with fear, worry, doubt, which is absolutely not human nature, not who we are and with these simple tools using consistently - we can in fact change ourselves and become unwavering, direct, self-expression without accepting any fear, excuse and justification.
This has not been made by parents, education, corporations - what can not be blamed as we individually can in fact understand our already manifested creation and change it, first by stopping. Stopping each pattern what we realize it is not supporting ourselves, others.
So stopping becomes natural and the more we stop the automatic patterns, the more we can see what is really going on and can take action what matters, what has impact and relevant not only for our lives but for all.

Continuing with Self-correction about the point of prioritizing TV/Movie "entertainment" versus commitments.

http://talamon.blogspot.com/2013/10/jtl-120-review-location-tv-series-mind_15.html

When and as I have some time I consider what is the most important thing to do using common sense - simply bringing up all here and see which I should do while realizing it is not compromise but a decision to do what is most important to me.

When and as I go into the conflict within about shall I do my priorities or do other things what are mostly involving not my active movement but passive reactions such as watching TV Series, Movies - I realize - my priorities are more important than to becoming passive.

When and as I realize I have conflict within me about shall I just chill out and watch a movie or film - I realize that my priorities are also me - so if I have problem with what I decided to do - then I reconsider and I change my priorities and see how that fits and I stop, I let the conflict go and decide and act here without any reaction, thought, feeling, connotation.

When and as I worry that I work too much, too hard, and I should need and require some entertainment, fun, chill out, relax such as watching movie, film - I see within that this experience of 'I work too much' is real or I just use it as an excuse to not do what I should - and according to that - I let go the desire to work and I see what is the reason I do not want to do what I should.

When and as I see that I do not want to do my priorities in and as the moment and comes up the feeling, thought, movement that I should do watch movie, film - I realize that there is a resistance for doing what I decided, I should, and I must do - and accepting that resistance I prepare myself to accept it the next time as well, so I stop the resistance and see what is the reason for coming up and apply Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness to realize and change my fear specifically about the point.

When and as I worry that I do not have time to keep up and watch all the films, movies I've desired for, decided to, thought about, I realize that the films, movies will wait for me and my priorities will not wait - that's why in the moment are priorities.

When and as I realize I procrastinate my process-related commitments, priorities - I stop and I let everything go and I direct myself to be aware that my process is who I really am in terms of Self-realization - so to prolong that, I prolong myself what with I will accumulate frustration what with I will fed up and realize that I must do my priorities anyway.

When and as I worry that I do not have time for all my priorities and still be relaxed, calm and yet effective but exhausted, tired, weaken - I realize I've put too much on my shoulder and for that there is nothing to judge - I am in the process of finetuning myself as trusting myself in and as the moment without judgment, reaction cycles to stimulate, move me, but I direct myself, I change myself, I move myself and I simply re-arrange my priorities and I act without any reaction, judgment, worry, feeling, though, simply breathing as the next moment and move along and embrace the next moment.

When and as I feel like I want to watch series what is so interesting that I'd like to discard my priorities, commitments - I realize that the series gives an experience of excitement, curiosity and stimulates me to watch it meanwhile in fact I allow the tendency to be tempted to stimulate myself more and more with a point - here such as Series meanwhile the things in and as reality will pile up and compound what should and must be done such as my Journey to Life blogging, The DIP course, the group participation, the other process-related sharings what I committed to do, walk, share as I have realized and still be aware that it is the most practical way to sort out my delusions and apply what is best for all and support others as myself as well so to procrastinate that towards being sucked into tv series is simply self-dishonesty, self-interest.

When and as I worry I do not allow myself to watch series, movies - I realize I can give to myself time to watch but to having watching more than 1-2 movies a day or watching series episodes more than 2-3 hours a day indicates that I have an issue what I divert from or I am being tempted to my energetic addiction to feel, think, be emotional instead of be directive principle here.

When and as I have not yet written my JTL blog writing and my Agreement course assignment is in late - I postpone watching movies, series - and I do the blogging, I write the assignment - or parts of it and AFTER that I can allow myself to watch movies, series.

When and as I procrastinate my JTL writing and DIP course assignment or other commitments, such as doing some music work or video work for myself or others - I realize - with postponing these I will only manifest worry, frustration, self-judgment, thinking, conflict, fear instead of giving myself the gift of simply doing these first in a practical way and then after realizing that I still can have time for other things what are less priority such as tv, movie, gaming, meeting others, walkabout etc.

When and as I feel tired and exhausted while doing my priorities - I check is it physical tiredness or lack of energy and temptation to energize myself with excitement such as tv film, movie and then watching it and after it becoming more tired and then my priorities have not yet been made: I realize this pattern and I'd rather take a rest, nap for 10-30 minutes and after that doing what I decided to do with empty mind, self-direction, no energy.

When and as I feel a particular way towards what I want to see, enjoy in tv, movie such as topics, styles, kind of movies such as action, sci-fi, fantasy, humour, art - I realize I have the self-definition that I need that, I lack of that what I can experience from and by that self-definition of separation, I strive for the experience to have it and not realizing that within experiencing it I only judge and define doing it and then only being equal and one with what I need through and as the mind - so then the solution is to stop and stop the definition, the lack, the feeling, the thought and embrace what is here.

When and as I want to watch a specific movie - I stop thinking, reacting - I simply decide when I can do it and by scheduling it I can consider other things such as priorities, commitments so then I do not need to have conflict within by watching it for disregarding what is more important.

When and as I have the experience of wanting to experience something I realize it is because I allow the mind move, the definition to drive me, the lack to pull me, the fear of not being fulfilled to control me - and the solution is to let go everything and be here and breathe, use common sense and decide and act - without the thinking, feeling.

When and as I worry that it is too much to write blog and assignment and other commitments every day - I realize that in fact any day I do not progress within stopping the mind - it is a progress within moving and being as the mind, the direct opposite what I have committed to do as process of becoming equal and one as the mind and be the directive principle as life-interest which is what is best for all.

When and as I have the temptation to do something all day, night and wanting to feel like it is great - I realize if I do have commitments not yet done for the day - then I should do it first and then do what I want.

When and as I am with others all the time on the day and I see that I have priority, commitment to do such as writing or video or music work - I do not allow conflict within - I simply direct myself and communicate - I do require that amount of time until I finish my to-do and that's it - and I do not go to worry that the other person will not understand or will leave or judge me or disregard me. If the person does such thing then I let it go - and I communicate next time more clearly that it must be done and that's it.

When and as I do not want to do something because of my worry of not having enough time for my commitments, assignments, priorities - I realize it is not cool because I use the worry-reaction first to generate energy to stop doing something and then when I will not have worry - I will not have energy to stop myself doing other things than my priorities, so I realize to do what I decided does not require energy, reason, justification - that is self-decision, self-will, self-direction.

To be continued with Self-commitments