Saturday, January 26, 2008

I visited Scientologysts

Recently I walked into a center in Budapest. I was with a guy who said I dunno what is that really, and said let's look? I said haha why not, let's do it.
So we went in, a woman came to us, and invited us to sit and a guy just came and everywhere was that book, and the guy just started to pick up something about to speak. And we asked what is that 'scale' or what is this all about? And we got that mr Hubbard investigated that about -40 to +40 there is a scale, which like a car diagnostic machine if connected to you, can put you into one number. Anyway was strange for me... here it is
40. Serenity of beingness
1. Fear
- 8. Hiding
-40. Total failure

what I focused at there in that moment and I asked about what about for example I am being a "zen master", and I explained that
I am sitting in my little cave and sitting and breathing in my serenity of beingness, what about that? And in the world is everything is just sicked up, what is this? Without self-honesty, it is just not a form of hiding? A form of fear?
And the guy said well, quite ok, i am getting closer and smiled and after that asked me "Do you want to know what is your scaling", and in that moment I said "Well, actually my situation is fear. Extensively. I am in enormous fear." And I saw some of them "from that center" smiled and their eyes connected for a moment. And I said ok, what is your truth, the real truth, you know, what you think about all of this, not just this serenity is the "real" around all of the world, you know..I pointed outside to the street, and I said, probably you do not say this what we see on the streets, etc, is not the final "truth". And the guy said yes, but he can not explain that, because he does not know, I am ready for that, or not.
I said, well I met with many masters, I did quite long walk, for me you can tell me what is your "truth", for to know, you know. Honestly, as you to me as me. And he said no, maybe I could misunderstand that, needs preparation, etc etc..
Hm and in that part came the machine, ok let's do it.
And I walked to the machine, my friend stayed with another ones, I stopped follow what is happening with him, because I was on diaaa gnostics.
I had to hold 2 metal cylinders,what were connected to that machine and got that Do not move, be relaxed. I felt extensive fear in that moment, as I felt that all of my days, was not really bigger than 10 minutes before, so my hand was so swety. So.
The guy said Think something. I said, well I do not like to think, I am in process to stop my mind, it not looks to quite good idea for me, sorry. And he said, no problem, just think one.
Ok I thought one, maybe the pointer moved a little but not really. He said do not move with your hands,
(T = Talamon, S = Scientology guy)
S-What did you think?
T-Tom Cruise. (the face of him was lol)
S-And why?
T-I watched recently some movies and video interviews with him and I was a bit curious about why did he choosed this "religion".
S-What is your problem?
S-From what?
T-From act. From that I always knew, but was afraid to do it.
T-Because I was afraid I will be killed, or I can not do.
S-To do what?
T-Stop the mind.
S-Hah yo can not stop it.
T-Yes I can, this is just fear, what I yet do not know about me
S-(started to explain about scientology mind, not remembering exactly, but all about here is just about 95%correct):There is a reactive mind, and the creative mind. The reactive mind is the problem, the creative mind is the cool part.
T-From the mind, inside the mind you can not say this, only when you are mind. All has to stop.

Ah shit I stop remember but anyway somehow I explained thoughts, feelings, emotions are the mind for example
S-This is the creative mind, lfor example....what do you do?
T-I just sold music instrument
S-So you are music instrument seller?
T-No, I just sold some keyboards, what I play on
S-So you are some kind of musician
T- ~~~I just play music yes
S-But you do that with your thoughts, how you do that and like that...
T-Noo, I just play, I just take the drum being one with that and play as I breath
S-But you think how you do that, what you play
T-Noo, I just play, for example in sex you think on what you do, where you put your hand, how your body move? Noo..just being having sex, no? is the book, -He gave it into my hand, I watched, I opened just in the middle, he closed, gave an another piece of paper on that what about This book, how it is famous, how many languages, who was herr L.R.Hubbard etc, and said read this.I did it. He asked
S-Did you read it?
S-Here is the description of the mind
T-But from the mind
T-Ok, let me too say something, as we met here, you explained this, I explain my "perception". I said about just breathing, and self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application in concise. This is how to being able to stop the mind totally.
S-And what is that we can help you in this?
T-I dont know, actually nothing.
S-And why did you came than?
T-Well, I wanted to know what are you doing here, what in do you busy here with people.
S-Read this book, oh unfortunately our video room is just getting soon ready, I could show something to you, but not yet...but you should read the book, buy it...
T-My problem with that is not me, it is separated from me, so still keeps me in separation in the mind as mind, and I stop it entirelly.
S-So, okay, thank you.
T-Thank you very much too.

(so was about like that and interesting, as I just breath and wrote that now, maybe where I was not in moment, I do not remember quite well..maybe those were specific but anyway was cool to see my mind and me and the whole )
thanks tala

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